When Gemma Humphrey first shared her story with me, I knew it was one that needed to be heard far and wide. Her journey through the shadows of alopecia and postpartum depression towards becoming a beacon of hope and resilience is nothing short of remarkable. This episode peels back the layers of Gemma's experience, revealing the raw and real mental health battles that accompany living with alopecia. As she eloquently narrates her transformation into an alopecia advocate, you'll be inspired by how she channeled her struggle into a digital marathon fundraiser for Alopecia UK, amplifying her voice in a chorus of support and empowerment.
Our conversation doesn't shy away from the often unspoken mental toll of conditions like alopecia, especially following the vulnerability of postpartum life. Listen to Gemma's powerful account of how sharing her narrative led to a groundswell of community support, which in turn lit the path for countless others navigating similar hardships. She underscores the transformative power of mindset shifts and the discovery of strength in adversity, encouraging us all to support those embarking on their own journeys toward growth and self-acceptance.
Harnessing today's technology, we explore the ways in which connection and camaraderie can be found across the digital landscape. From online book clubs to the podcast you're about to enjoy, no one needs to feel isolated in our interconnected world. By the end of this conversation, not only will you find yourself educated on the realities of alopecia, but you'll also be reminded of the unwavering human spirit that thrives on support, connection, and shared experiences. And if you're looking to join the collective or need resources of your own, we've made accessing Gemma's Facebook page and other support options as easy as clicking a link in the episode's bio.
Follow Gemma on IG! https://www.instagram.com/gems_alopecia_journey?igsh=MTl2azdyOGM0NnFmOQ%3D%3D&utm_source=qr
More resources for Alopecia https://www.naaf.org/about/#:~:text=The%20National%20Alopecia%20Areata%20Foundation%20(NAAF)%2C%20headquartered%20in%20San,and%20advocates%20on%20their%20behalf
When Gemma Humphrey first shared her story with me, I knew it was one that needed to be heard far and wide. Her journey through the shadows of alopecia and postpartum depression towards becoming a beacon of hope and resilience is nothing short of remarkable. This episode peels back the layers of Gemma's experience, revealing the raw and real mental health battles that accompany living with alopecia. As she eloquently narrates her transformation into an alopecia advocate, you'll be inspired by how she channeled her struggle into a digital marathon fundraiser for Alopecia UK, amplifying her voice in a chorus of support and empowerment.
Our conversation doesn't shy away from the often unspoken mental toll of conditions like alopecia, especially following the vulnerability of postpartum life. Listen to Gemma's powerful account of how sharing her narrative led to a groundswell of community support, which in turn lit the path for countless others navigating similar hardships. She underscores the transformative power of mindset shifts and the discovery of strength in adversity, encouraging us all to support those embarking on their own journeys toward growth and self-acceptance.
Harnessing today's technology, we explore the ways in which connection and camaraderie can be found across the digital landscape. From online book clubs to the podcast you're about to enjoy, no one needs to feel isolated in our interconnected world. By the end of this conversation, not only will you find yourself educated on the realities of alopecia, but you'll also be reminded of the unwavering human spirit that thrives on support, connection, and shared experiences. And if you're looking to join the collective or need resources of your own, we've made accessing Gemma's Facebook page and other support options as easy as clicking a link in the episode's bio.
Follow Gemma on IG! https://www.instagram.com/gems_alopecia_journey?igsh=MTl2azdyOGM0NnFmOQ%3D%3D&utm_source=qr
More resources for Alopecia https://www.naaf.org/about/#:~:text=The%20National%20Alopecia%20Areata%20Foundation%20(NAAF)%2C%20headquartered%20in%20San,and%20advocates%20on%20their%20behalf
Love what you hear? Wanna be featured on Updated AF? Shoot me a DM!
IG: Tx_Realestatedoll
Or
IG: UpdatedAFCollective_Podcast
Please don't forget to subscribe and leave me a review!
Email: UPDATEDAF@GMAIL.COM
XOXO, Meg
Check out the new site! UPDATEDAF.COM
Speaker 1:
Hey guys, welcome back to Updated AF Collective, the podcast. I am your host, megan Wirth. I am so excited I just got to interview a really amazing woman. Her name is Gemma Humphries, and how I came across her, how we kind of met, is we are both a part of this virtual book club and with the virtual book club we get this private Facebook group and we can all talk to each other. Everybody will post their struggles or their successes and we'll cheer each other on. It's a great, great environment.
Speaker 1:
And she caught my attention because she posted this beautiful selfie of her and I was like, oh my gosh, like I need who is this person? She's so pretty. And I read her story. She posted this, this thing talking about a medical condition that she suffers from called alopecia. If you've never heard of alopecia, it is a medical condition where you lose all of your hair, and she talks about, you know, raising awareness and she talked about her fundraiser and she talks about the mental health aspect, part of having something like this, having a medical condition that's like this, and it just, it just hit me and I was like we need to talk about this, cause you know it's a lot of one.
Speaker 1:
First off. I've heard of alopecia, but I really didn't understand what it was or the you know what comes with it or met anybody who who has it. So I wanted to talk to her about one. What is it? How she was diagnosed with it, her story and what she went through not just with the medical condition but as well as like the mental health piece and what it did to her and how she was able to come out of a really dark place after she got diagnosed with it, and how she turned around, you know, like just a few short months later, and became an advocate for people with alopecia. She has decided to start a fundraiser. She has run, she's running this digital marathon where, for 26 days straight, she's doing something for alopecia, as in raising awareness, talking to people about it, coming on my podcast, which, thank God, I got her to come on because she's somebody I feel like you guys need to know. I just have this feeling that she's going to go very far as an advocate for people suffering from alopecia and she's going to show everybody, whether they have a different medical condition or they actually suffer from alopecia. I feel like she's going to show a lot of people what resilience looks like and how you can take lemons and turn it into lemonade, because she's amazing and you can hear it in her voice how passionate she is about raising awareness and, like I said, she is running a fundraiser and I put the link in the show notes. If you guys want to donate to Alopecia UK, she's raising money for them, for research, for advocacy.
Speaker 1:
I read a little bit into the fundraiser and it just talks about how there's so much miscommunication, there's not a lot of studies done of where is it coming from, how do you get it, and then the mental health part that goes with it. Talking to Gemma, she talks about how it's more than just a cosmetic medical condition and we'll unpack that in the show. But you need to listen to this episode in the entirety. She's amazing and I honestly feel so grateful that now I feel like I just made a new friend who she's just a strong woman, like an absolute strong woman. So if you guys want to follow her on social media, if you want to donate even just $5 or something to her cause, we will be. I say we, but the I'm going to make a donation for her from the, from the podcast. So sorry, I was like reading through this um the fundraiser, but you guys enjoy the episode, and if you know anybody who might need to hear something um like this, if they are suffering from alopecia as well, please like send them the episode and feel free to share it. Okay, guys, enjoy the episode. I love you guys so so much, and I'll see you next Friday.
Speaker 1:
Welcome to the updated AF collective podcast, where we celebrate the power and resilience of women. Join me as we dive into inspiring stories, engage in meaningful conversations and explore topics that empower women from all walks of life. I believe that every woman has a unique strength within her waiting to be unleashed. Whether you're an entrepreneur, a leader, a creative, a caregiver or simply on your own personal journey, this podcast is for you. Together, we'll share stories of triumph, discuss strategies for success and provide a supportive space for women to connect and grow. Get ready for real, authentic conversations that ignite your inner strength and inspire you to chase after your dreams. Fearlessly Welcome to the Updated AF Collective. Fearlessly Welcome to the Updated AF Collective. Hey guys, welcome back to the show.
Speaker 1:
Today I have a very, very special guest and I reached out to her because I found her on Facebook. We are a part of a book club together and she just made this post that stood out to me so much and she's this beautiful, vibrant girl with these bright blue eyes, and so I was immediately drawn to her. And then, when I read her post, she is, her name is Gemma Humphrey and she is an advocate for alopecia. And after I asked her, I DM'd her and I asked her well, no, I think I messaged you on the post asking her to be on Updated AF, because this is something that one I didn't know a lot about and after she agreed to come on the podcast, I went down the rabbit hole. And here we are with Gemma. Thank you so much for being on the podcast. I appreciate you, girl.
Speaker 2:
Thank you. Thank you so much for having me on. It's so good just to be able to talk about alopecia and raise that awareness, which is something that I'm so passionate about.
Speaker 1:
So, yeah, big thank you for inviting me on Thank you so much and, like I said, like I just learned about this a year ago and I can't believe when I looked into this, so much information is out there but it's so confusing. There's so many people with their opinions on where it comes from and we have you today to tell us exactly what is going on, right yeah, yeah, I'll share with you what I know.
Speaker 2:
It's a very recent um experience for me, so my hair only started falling out in August last year. I never had any issues before. And then, very suddenly, out of the blue, I had a shower, I noticed quite a big patch of bald hair, you know, just quite probably five centimeters across. Obviously very shocking, you know, really upsetting. And up until that point I've never really thought about alopecia, I've never seen anybody with alopecia, and it absolutely was just a big shock then as to what happened next and the speed of my hair loss. And again, I had to go down that rabbit hole as well, trying to find out the information and and you're right, there's so much disinformation out there it's very difficult to navigate and know what's true and what's not true.
Speaker 1:
So you had no history of alopecia growing up or anything when this happened. So this kind of did it come out of the blue like randomly?
Speaker 2:
Completely out of the blue. So the situation for me was that I got married in September last year, so this was about six weeks before my wedding when I noticed this first bald patch. And they do say that stress and trauma can be something, what can lead to hair loss. There's lots of different arguments on that, whether or not that is true, but for me I do believe it to be true. Um, I had a baby in July 2022.
Speaker 2:
And in that period, I experienced a lot of stress and trauma from birth trauma and a lot of feelings. After he was born, I wasn't really expecting and not really feeling myself. There was a restructure at work during my maternity leave, where I was left feeling very stressed and anxious, as well as planning a wedding, where I was left feeling very stressed and anxious as well as planning a wedding, and I think really all of those things built up to then trigger that hair loss. There's no way of knowing that, but what the doctors think it was is potentially the stress and trauma combined with my iron levels being very low. After having the baby, I had severe iron deficiency and it just hadn't been identified. So by the time my hair fell out and they identified that, it was too late do you and I?
Speaker 1:
what I read recently is that a lot of it also has to do with autoimmune disease. Are you have you, are you one of those women that suffers for like autoimmune kind of thing, or is this something?
Speaker 2:
completely different there is an argument that alopecia is an autoimmune disease. Um, I haven't had any tests to understand if this is an autoimmune disease, but basically all that means is that it's your body is attacking itself so for some reason, um, you know, it's not the message is not receiving correctly and it's it's attacking the hair follicles for some reason. Um, that there is an argument that that can be triggered by high levels of stress and trauma to create that autoimmune condition. Um, but I'm in a position where it's still so early for me that I actually don't know that yet. Um, here in the UK we have the? Um NHS, the National Health Service, which, if everyone believes, is amazing, and it is in lots of ways, but unfortunately the waiting lists are extremely long and I still haven't been able to see a specialist for nine months down the line, which, again, is just incredibly frustrating oh my gosh, so you're just in this queue waiting to be called to see the doctor to do more tests.
Speaker 1:
Oh my gosh, so they're. You're just kind of like waiting in limbo of like, yeah, you have so, oh my gosh, so it that's like a really scary place to be because, as you're waiting in that queue, I feel like you're just kind of like doing what I did going down the rabbit hole, googling all of the signs and symptoms of things and trying to kind of like diagnose yourself while you're just waiting, and I think that can just cause more stress, which more stress can cause a higher cortisol level, and our hair makes its own cortisol, which can cause a higher cortisol level, and our hair makes its own cortisol, which can cause that loss. I mean, I just I learned so much and it's it's scary misinformation. Um, what are you doing to support your mental health while you're waiting in this line to to go see these doctors to start this test? What are you doing?
Speaker 2:
oh, wow. Well, it's been a journey and I would say going back to August when it first happened. My mental health wasn't great, you know. You can imagine, six weeks before my wedding, thinking am I going to be wearing a wig, am I going to be fully bald? Like what's going to happen. I was crying every day, extremely stressed and worried about that. Um, and I went to um an event with with my friends um one weekend and I literally sat in that room with them all around me and couldn't stop the tears and from that point my friends all rallied to try and get me through that.
Speaker 2:
Um, I don't know if you've heard of a book called the Magic by Rhonda Byrne. We did the magic together. So one of my friends had already discovered it and said you know, let's do this together and it really helped me to turn off the negative thoughts and the anxiety at night, where I took the time every day to practice the gratitude, to do those exercises and, honestly, some of them I was thinking that's never going to have a positive impact on me. So there was an exercise where it said find a rock and you have to believe it's a magic rock and you take it to bed with you every night and you think about the best thing that's happened to you that day. And it was very cynical, um, but I did it and honestly, it really helped me to switch my brain off from all of the negative worries about my hair, about the wedding, to switch my mindset more positive. So that was the first thing.
Speaker 2:
That was like a 28 day process, supported by my friends, which I think made a big difference. You know, just women supporting women. And then the next thing was discovering, um, the law of attraction and changed my life. Podcasts, yeah, and just started listening to fran every day, going back through all the old podcasts, and it really helped to support my mindset and to help me see that there was light at the end of the tunnel and just to really stop the negative doubt, the you know just all that worry and the. I was very anxious what people were thinking about me not wanting to face people, and it really helped me to see things a little bit more positive. It was definitely a journey. I said my hair loss started in August but by December I had no hair. So from that one patch on day one, you know, just a couple of months later then to be fully bald was, you know, a very traumatic, difficult time, but all of those things really helped me to pick myself up and to feel stronger.
Speaker 1:
Mm-hmm, Thank God for strong women. You know what I mean. Like thank God you were surrounded by women that were like it's okay it might not be okay in this moment, but it's going to be okay and to provide resources with a book, a book, a podcast, friends supporting you. I'm assuming your family is very supportive as well. It's just like I. I resonate with that so much because I wouldn't be where I'm at without strong women supporting me, and that's just something that, like I, I'm sure you do it too, since you are a big law of attraction follower as well. But a gratitude list I do mine every morning and the one thing that I always am making a comment about is, like the strong women around me, because I wouldn't be here right now if it wasn't for the women that I've met yeah, absolutely completely agree.
Speaker 2:
And I talked about feeling, you know, feeling quite low after I had the baby. I didn't share that with anybody because I felt so guilty about how that I felt and I kept that to myself and I think I really internalized that stress and felt guilty for how I felt. I now think if I had talked to my friends and family about that, I probably I might not be sat here with with no hair and I'll never know that. But I think the power of talking and sharing and leaning on other women is just incredible and I will never bottle anything up, ever again. I will, you know, use the people around me and also the new relationships, what I've discovered through, like the book club and the new things I've started to get involved in. Um, it's just incredible what we can do when we support each other.
Speaker 1:
Absolutely, and I mean you can't. You can't I'm sure you don't now, but you can't beat yourself up looking back at you know, you were probably battling severe postpartum depression, um, on top of the stress of a wedding and all of these moving parts in your life. I mean, you didn't know, you don't know what you don't know, and now you know, and now you're like opened up to this brand new life that you have and your next journey. And the thing with you, though, is you took it, and now you're advocating and you're speaking on it, and you started a fundraiser. Let's talk about the things that you have taken from this experience, and now you are about to change.
Speaker 1:
I just got chills when I said that you are about to change so many women's lives. Think about how many women are out there that are like you right now, where you were back last year, who are like reaching for a hand, who don't have that support system Not everybody has a village girl and you taking this journey and going back and getting the next girl in line and saying, no, honey, I got you, I'm going to help you. Let's talk about that for a second Cause, like as I'm talking about, I literally get chills and like I do, feel like this is your next chapter of life, like you are going to go so far with helping women.
Speaker 2:
Absolutely that is how I feel, and I feel as though I've gone from I describe it as breakdown to breakthrough, and I think all those things that I just talked about were a turning point where I was starting to really lean into the law of attraction and the power of my mindset. But then, the big turning point I went on a retreat day, which was all women together, a lot of mindset work, holistic therapies, and something that was said that day really stuck with me and that was things don't happen to you, they happen for you. So that really made me think you know, what can I learn from this? Why am I going through this and how can I grow and how can I help other people? And that started a big mindset shift in me to think you know, I am going to become a stronger person from this and I am going to try and help others.
Speaker 2:
So that led to me, on the 1st of May, starting my alopecia awareness and I've called it a marathon month. So I'm not running a marathon, but I'm doing 26 events or things over the space of May to raise awareness of alopecia. I'm sharing that journey online through my personal social medias, through LinkedIn, through my work and social media sites and sharing every day what I'm doing, and support has just been incredible from people reaching out thanking me for putting Spotlight on alopecia, but then thanking for being open about the mental health side of things, sharing those tips for the resilience as well. People have just been incredibly supportive and the fundraiser is now up to £1,250, which is just incredible.
Speaker 1:
I've still got over a week left to go, yeah that's amazing and, like I said, like you said something actually that I want to, that I kind of want to say something about. I know like obviously not everybody is in that mindset right away. When you first probably got diagnosed with, with alopecia is like it. Life isn't happening to you, it's happening for you and there's there's so much growth. If you would have heard that when you first got diagnosed, you probably would have lost your mind. You probably would have been like you're so dumb, you don't know what you're talking about.
Speaker 1:
But look, when you heard that it had to have been at that right moment, at the retreat to where you were, so you're already in your healing process to be able to process something like that. It's just that's how you know. Like you've probably come a long way. I remember the first time I had something traumatic happen to me and I wouldn't have been able to hear that. And now we realize like, while we're healing, life is happening for you and there's a reason why and that's why I say like I feel like you're going to, you're going to take this to a whole nother level with what you're doing, even though you're in the early stages of everything. And I mean you haven't even gotten to see your doctor yet, but you look what you're already doing, look what you've already created, all because you've shifted your mindset.
Speaker 2:
Absolutely Honestly. At the beginning I didn't want to leave the house. I cried every day. I hated wearing wigs. I put them on and I recognized myself even less wearing a wig than what I did with no hair, which is not the same for everybody.
Speaker 2:
Everybody experiences alopecia in a different way, but personally, those wigs even when I wasn't thinking about it, the wig made me think about it because I could feel it on my head. It was itchy, it was tight and I found that really upsetting. So I chose initially not to wear a wig, but then I was still hiding away, so I'd leave the house with a hoodie on and I'd put the hoodie over my head or I'd wear a hat and I'd not want people to see me and that's not who I am as a person. And I and I shrunk you know I wasn't myself. So then, to be able to think now I'm going out proudly, you know, talking about alopecia, being bold, and this is the early days of me putting everything out there, but the support that I've had has really made me believe strongly. I will continue this.
Speaker 2:
I'm thinking about setting up a blog and a social media page specifically to talk about the alopecia journey, because all of the pages that I've seen about alopecia don't have the mental health aspect to it. They don't talk about the mindset and the resilience, and to me that is such a key part of it. It's not just hair loss, it's not just cosmetic. How it impacts your mental health is considerable, but then there's so much that we can do to support ourselves and get ourselves into a good place, which I think is, you know what my story does demonstrate and I know uh, we're going to kind of backtrack there's multiple different types of alopecia.
Speaker 1:
Can you do you know which type that you have?
Speaker 2:
yeah, so I have alopecia totalis, which means it's all of the hair on my head, but then also it's my eyebrows, it's my eyelashes, it's all of the hair on my head, but then also it's my eyebrows, it's my eyelashes, it's all of the hair on my body. So, like I said, that happened rapidly. I was initially diagnosed with alopecia areata, which is patches of hair loss or areas of hair loss on the scalp, and that's what it was to begin with, and then, like I said, between August and December that spread.
Speaker 2:
Some people just have alopecia universalis, which means they lose all of this hair on their scalp but not their body hair.
Speaker 1:
Yeah, mine progressed to to everywhere, unfortunately and does anybody know why people experience alopecia differently, like why is there so many different types? Does anybody know? Has there been research done of like why you had you had all of the hair loss and versus some people who just get the patches and then some people who just get the the head hair? Nobody knows, no nobody knows really.
Speaker 2:
There's no real evidence into why people get alopecia or um, or why people experience it differently. No, and that's part of the frustrating thing for someone who is living with alopecia there is a view that it is just cosmetic and therefore there isn't the research, the money spent on it, to really understand it fully and to identify the treatments. And here in the UK we've just had a treatment licensed which is the very first time a drug has been licensed to treat alopecia and that's called a jack inhibitor. So it was previously available here, um, privately at a cost of around a thousand pound per month. Wow, with that there is no guarantee of your hair growing back.
Speaker 2:
The studies show about 50 percent of people get 80 percent of their hair to regrow. But once you start taking those drugs you have to stay on them for life. So there is no cure for alopecia. You can take the drugs and get growth, but if you come off them you would likely lose your hair again. So being able to commit to a thousand pound a month for the rest of your life is significant.
Speaker 2:
It isn't covered under private health care, so I do have private health care through my employer and when I called them. They said they don't cover it because it's classed as cosmetic. Oh, my goodness, which is just. You know it was it. It was very hard to hear that, as though I was being vain by wanting to have my hair. But I think that doesn't consider the wider impact that that has when you lose your hair on your mental health, on your confidence. It affects your relationship with your partner even. You know, wondering, do they still find me attractive? It can affect your ability at work. You know, personally, I lost a lot of self-confidence at work in those early days. Um, I work for a bank, in quite a senior role where I spend a lot of my time in online meetings and I didn't want to have my camera on, I didn't want people to see me. So all of those things, it's a huge impact to then have medical professionals say it's just cosmetic.
Speaker 1:
That just blows my mind because, like you said, like maybe for men, but when it comes to women, I feel like there are certain things that you know. We grow up knowing what's feminine, what makes us a woman. Well, hair is one of those things and, like you said, it's just losing it. It's just one of the symptoms of many and it just kind of topples down from there because, like, next is your mental health, next thing you have to spend money on therapy and you're spending money, you know either on antidepressants. It's just one of many things.
Speaker 1:
It's like I said that might be cosmetic for men, but when it comes to women it is a whole different thing. It should not be considered cosmetic. That's just mind blowing. That insurance won't cover that and I, you know, I don't know anything about what the States does here, but I'm pretty sure it probably does about the same thing, because there's a lot of things here that blow my mind about the medical, the whole medical thing. We won't even get, we won't even unpack what the problems are with with.
Speaker 1:
You know the medical system, but what about holistic approaches? Have you looked into anything that might help you holistically? Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:
So the first thing I did was the counselling and talking therapy, and that helps me a lot, um, to both talk about the hair loss itself, but then everything that happened in the run-up to that. Um, but then also exploring, you know, going right back to being a child and what I told myself about what is what is beauty and unpacking all of that. You know what we have in our minds about what it means to be attractive as a woman. So the talking therapy really helps that, um. And then, like I said, the retreat day really opened my eyes and we did cold water therapy as part of that, which is something I've then continued, and I think that does give you an inner strength, if you like. You know you leave that feeling on such a positive high. So, yeah, that was really good. And Reiki as well is something new that I started since that retreat day.
Speaker 1:
So, yeah, a couple of different things that I've never even considered before and definitely would recommend yeah, and I love the fact again, that you're out here doing these things because people are watching, um, whether they have alopecia or not, it doesn't matter, because you're. You're one, you're redefining beauty. You are one of the most beautiful women I've ever met in my entire life and you are out there saying, no, this is me. It took me a while to get here, to be this comfortable, to come out and say, no, this is me, we don't need to have hair, breasts, I, you know, I talking to women who who, um, had their breasts removed for breast cancer. It's like we're redefining what beauty is.
Speaker 1:
And, girl, you putting yourself out there, believe it or not, like you have probably so many people watching you right now. Girl, you putting yourself out there, believe it or not, like you have probably so many people watching you right now, and they're just like, wow, like, if she is just this brave about what she's going through, I can be brave about what I'm going through too. And, and you know, everybody needs to be talking about these things. It doesn't matter if it's alopecia, if it doesn't matter if it's cancer. People need to be talking about these things because there's so many people who are not and they're doing what you did and they're hiding away under their covers and they're like I can't do this, I don't want to come out, and that's, unfortunately, can lead to people self-harming.
Speaker 2:
Um it just yeah, absolutely you know, one of the big things that helps me with that is again around having that network. So I found an alopecia support group, um, which is a UK one, but alopecia uk. They have a facebook group. I'm sure there'll be lots of them in the states as well. But I got I got chatting to a lady who lived local and she'd had alopecia for many, many years and said, to start off with, she stopped living her life, she stopped going swimming with her children, she stopped going to theme parks because she was worried about her wig coming off on the roller coasters, and she shared with me how much she now regretted that as her children got older, how much she regretted on missing out things, and that really resonated with me.
Speaker 2:
I've got a 12 year old daughter and I've got a two year old son and I didn't want to have those regrets later on. So that you know again, women supporting women, uh, giving me that advice and sharing with me how she'd experienced alopecia really helped. And then the other aspect of that was wanting to be a good role model to my daughter. Again, you know, what would it tell her about? What it means to be beautiful, if I hid myself away and and stopped being the mum she was used to, um, and it's amazing. Now I'm worried about would she be embarrassed about me? How would she feel about her friends seeing me? And she's been absolutely amazing. And she tells me all the time she thinks I'm strong and that I'm beautiful and it makes me really proud that she's taking that positivity and seeing that is that's what she's gonna remember about you when she's older.
Speaker 1:
I'm a girl mom too, so it makes me tear up because, like, we have to remember, like, especially people with daughters, like they're watching and they're gonna remember if you broke down and you just became this negative person for the rest of your life and her life because this is her life too. Or if you were like you took a second, you had your time of mourning and then you got yourself up and then healed your mental health and then turned right back around and helped the next girl in line. She's going to remember that about you and, if anything, it's going to create her life, it's going to make her more resilient and show her what a strong, powerful woman is. And I think again, like what you're doing is just remarkable. Have you started talking to women in these groups? What do you want to do with this? What do you want to do with this? Where do you want to go with this?
Speaker 2:
yeah, so the first thing that I did on the 1st of May as part of my alopecia awareness month was an event in my workplace, and so I did an online event talking both about the alopecia awareness and um, the education around, but also the mental health aspect of it. Talking openly about my mental health before, during the hair loss, as it was falling out, but then after now, how I've built my resilience and the response to that's been incredible. I've had so many messages off women saying you know, I've experienced hair loss, didn't know who to talk to, there's a stigma, and that's just really made me very passionate that I want to continue that. As I said, I'm doing it all month and putting myself into lots of different situations talking about alopecia, raising that awareness and but, yeah, absolutely I'll be continuing that um with a blog and, you know, just trying to get out there as much as what I possibly can.
Speaker 1:
I love that I can see you speaking and not right, maybe not tomorrow, but I can see you on a stage talking to women about this, and not just about alopecia, but just the mental health part of any of that, because anything that comes with something that kind of affects a woman takes away our chips, away at our mental health. And I can see you talking to women all over the world about just this mental health part and telling your story and sharing your resilience and what you did to kind of get out of that negative mind space. But I think while you're in it right now, I think what you're doing is just so beautiful like. This is the, this is just the whole, this is one thing of many.
Speaker 2:
oh, thank you. Yeah, I hope. I hope it does got to go that way and I really am passionate to make it, to make it that way. Um, you know it's still very early days for me, you know, nine months in from that first patch and six months out from losing all of my hair.
Speaker 1:
But I think, if I can get to where I am now of talking about it, I can only go from you know, become stronger and being able to talk about it to a wider audience and for anybody that's going through it right now, whether it's alopecia or some other disease or just depression or whatever even postpartum, because postpartum is real anybody who's going through it right now and they're having those emotional roller coaster days of like some days they feel really good and then some days they just want to hide away what advice would you give that woman right now?
Speaker 2:
listening, um, my advice would just be to put yourself first and take the time that you need. So if you need to cry, cry, get it out. The absolute best thing I did on that retreat day was let the emotions flow. I think I'd locked them up and not let myself, you know, cry. And on the retreat we did an exercise where we spent five minutes listening to a song from the Greatest Sherman while we punched and kicked a pillow and got every bit of that emotion out, and I felt like a weight had been lifted after that. So that would be my first advice Feel what you feel and allow those.
Speaker 2:
But actually a quote that I now live by is never let the things that matter least get in the way of things that matter most. So what I mean by that is I could be really worried about people looking at me, laughing at me, judging, whispering, but actually that's far less important than me having a good time with my children or being successful at work or being happy in myself, and I think by me just really thinking about the things that are important to me, it helps me every day to go out with a positive mindset. So, yeah, they're my two key piece of advice.
Speaker 1:
I love it. I love it. I love it. It just give yourself permission to fall apart when you need to fall apart. And my favorite saying I don't remember where I heard it from, but a couple of years back I heard it you have to feel it to heal it.
Speaker 1:
And people who are suppressing and bottling up it's you're not healing. You need to heal. Don't what I tell my friends. You's you're not healing. You need to heal. Don't what I tell my friends. You know like, get it out. You're going to need to cry and you're it's going to. You're going to ugly cry. You're going to need to punch pillows. You're going to need to, you know, find an outlet, like a healthy outlet. We're not talking about alcohol here. We're talking about the healthy outlet of women's retreats and stuff like that. But you have to feel it in order to heal it and do your best.
Speaker 1:
Also, when you are done, when you are done crying and when you're done having what I call, when I have those moments, I call it my pity party, because I need to have my own pity party and I need to just sit there and cry and then I pick myself up and I come up with a new plan and if I stay down there too long in the lows, I feel like I get tunnel vision where I can't see a way out, that I'm only seeing the negative in life. But that's where a good friend, a good book, a good podcast advocates to reach out to are really handy. I have my village, but not everybody has a village. So would you mind if I linked your Facebook to my podcast, to this episode, to where, if somebody feels like they need to just talk to somebody with resilience who are already going through it, would you mind if my listeners reached out to you, if that's OK.
Speaker 2:
That's absolutely fine. Yes, of course I'd be amazing. I'd love to help anybody who needs that village. I would love to be that village and I'd love to help anybody who needs that village. I would love to be that village. The other thing it just made me think. What really I think did help me was doing a vision board at the start of this year, and I think a lot of people think of a vision board as being your ideal home or your ideal car and material things.
Speaker 1:
And my vision board wasn't that?
Speaker 2:
It was all about how I wanted to feel and I put photos of myself on that. But at really happy moments of my life things with my friends and family I put flowers on there that I'd received from work in the past to symbolise being successful at work. And, honestly, in January when I did that and I was still deep in trauma, just losing all of my hair I wasn't convinced I'd ever feel how I'd felt at those moments again. But I can reflect now, five months later, and say I feel just as happy, if not even happier, because I now feel stronger and more resilient than ever before and more resilient than ever before. So I think you can. When you are feeling in the depths of despair and whatever situation that is, there is always a way forward and just having focus on how you want to feel and what you want your life to be like, you know, I think it just provides a vision for yourself to motivate you to get there. It definitely worked for me and I again recommend it for anybody to have that who is struggling.
Speaker 1:
I love that you said that. Focus on how you want to feel, because you might not recognize, like you said, a lot of people look at vision boards and it's like cars and houses and it's like that's not important. In that moment, when you are going through something so life-changing, as alopecia, you're not focused on your future car, your future house. You are focused on how do I want to feel, how do I want to feel, putting pictures up there with you and your kids, your husband, like your family, in happy moments. It's a oh my gosh like I could not have said that even better. That was, that was. I feel like I had a light bulb moment, something I would have never thought about either. And yeah, I just, I'm just so grateful that you're here and I mean, the whole point of my podcast was to help women who don't have a village to create their own village, even if it's a virtual village. We all have virtual villages.
Speaker 1:
I have friends in Canada who are my virtual village and now I feel like I have you and anybody out there listening. I mean Gemma's, I mean you're so just one. You're a beautiful person, you're inside and out and also you're so personable and you're easy to talk to and if anybody, I mean you could reach out to me or you reach out to Gemma, but I mean that was the whole point of the podcast was to create a virtual village, because there's so many women who are in rural areas of different countries that don't don't. Don't have this and there's no need, there's no reason anybody should be alone or fighting alone right now. There's no. When you have the internet, when you have zoom, you have podcasts. Podcasts are for your books, I don't know so absolutely agree.
Speaker 2:
That's, that's what connected us from from a book club, what we're both a part of and, you know, live in different countries but can still support each other and raise each other up, um, and that's there for for anybody. So, yeah, thank you for for having me on today.
Speaker 1:
Thank you so much and, like I said, everybody, I'm gonna link all of her um, her Facebook page, um, and, and Gemma. Any other links that you have, you can just send them over to me and I will link it all their support groups, anything. You guys can find all of that in the in the bio. But, gemma, thank you so much for being on updated.
