46. Clarity in Love and Business (Minibang)

Today, I'm walking you through  a friend's dating dilemma, and a personal story in business as examples of how clarity and intentionality opens the doors for trust, ease, and flow. 

Now, If you've ever sensed there's more to the story, it's probably because there is. Many times, there's nothing "bad" or "wrong" that people are hiding, it's that they're not being clear with what they want, desire or need from the relationship; with themselves and also with you. 

Now, flip the coin. When we're not clear and intentional in our relationships, whether it's work or personal, people start making up your their own stories about what's really going on. 

With a few minor changes, you can create safety, trust and ease in your work. In romantic relationships this will really charge things up, creating a safe  environment for the more free-flowing feminine energy to bring the juice! 

Enjoy, Loves! 

xx - Jen 

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Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:02

My name is Jen Briggs and welcome to the whole shebang where on Mondays, you get what else but a mini bang. These short episodes are really meant to meet you where you're at, to help you set an intention or focus for the week, to consider a perspective that maybe you haven't before and to answer the most common questions. That not only propelled my personal and professional growth, but the best of the best I see around me. This is where we unbecome shedding the layers and the old ways that aren't serving us anymore and where we continue becoming, stepping into and magnifying more of who you really are and who you're meant to be. So buckle up buttercups we're diving in. Today we're going to talk about how the masculine provides clarity and what that does for the feminine. And just a quick reminder, because I know that those words for some of you feel buzzy. Some of it feels triggering to some of you the masculine in all of us creates the framework and the structure, like right now. In my life I've been really flowing pretty heavy in my feminine and I have felt the need for more grounding and structure. So I've been focusing on that the last couple of days and that feels really great. So goal setting, even just eating food. That is more grounding, and so we all have both in us. Just a quick reminder for you on that. But what does it do when we bring clarity? Or when the masculine in relationship or in a working environment, what does it look like for the masculine to bring clarity? And then what does that do versus ambiguity? So I'm going to use an example, a couple of them.

Speaker 1: 1:38

I was chatting with a friend of mine. We were going back and forth over the last few days here and he had a dating question for me which was so fun, and he said hey, jen, I've got this woman. I don't think she's long-term potential, but I'm kind of brushing the dust off on dating and I really like to sort of practice and have some different experiences with what it feels like to kind of play with this polarity in the masculine feminine. Do you think it's okay if I date her if I know it's not long-term? And my thinking on that is everything is okay with clarity in love and so it doesn't matter necessarily, as long as your intention is not to hurt somebody else or to take something from somebody else. Whatever your intention is, whether it's in work or relationship and business when you bring clarity, when you speak what your intention is with clarity, it is empowering, it sets people's nervous systems at ease, it brings safety in, and so in that example, my two cents was absolutely that's okay. I would just go to her and call that out. Just say that with love. Hey, I'm really interested in you. I think that X Y, z is really great in our connection. To be transparent, I don't see this going long-term, but I would love to spend the next couple months with you having some great experiences, learning with one another, doing X, Y, z, so you can create the structure, create the boundaries and set the intention. Now, if that's like this guy's his intention and what he desires, he states it with clarity in love, and then the other person has an opportunity to say yes or no. It's like, hey, the train's going this way, you want to hop on with me, yes or no? And sometimes the answer is going to be no. The alternative to that is having ambiguity and for, like, the first step is to go do I know what my intention is? If you're unsure of what your intention is and you don't have clarity first within self, I would pause and get that clarity first within yourself. Once you do know, if you're not stating that clearly and you're just kind of showing up, we can pick up on that. The feminine is highly intuitive and picks up on that and it feels uneasy.

Speaker 1: 4:07

So another example is in the business world. When I was selling real estate, I built my business door knocking and I get this a lot when I'm coaching people, no matter what their business is or how they're selling. The biggest objection that anybody that's a business owner is a salesperson, by the way. So because what are you doing? Or maybe it's a service person, but you're solving a problem and you're prospecting for business to create revenue for yourself and for the business. If it's coming from a place of service, that's fantastic, but either way, you're selling something right.

Speaker 1: 4:46

Where people feel icky is when they have an intention and they're not stating it with clarity, and that's when they feel like smarmy, slimy salespeople. But if you state your intention with clarity, you give people an opportunity to say yes or no and they instantly will be put at ease. So back to the door knocking example. You know I would realize what my insecurity was. Well, I don't want them to feel like I'm just out there trying to sell them something. Well, what is the truth? The truth is I'm looking to do two things in that particular scenario I'm looking to. The truth is I'm looking to do two things in that particular scenario. I'm looking to build relationships, I'm looking to be a resource and I, without a doubt, was looking to find more clients. And so when I would introduce myself and knock at the door, I would tell people that like hey, my name is Jen, I'm just going to shoot super straight with you. I'm out hitting the pavement today because, a I live in your area, I love to make connections. B I love to be of service to you, whether you're looking to buy, sell or invest right now. I love to be able to be a resource for you as much as I can, in whatever ways I can. X, y, z you list them. Number three I'm not going to beat around the bush. I'm looking to work with more great people. By any chance, are you thinking of buying, selling, blah, blah, blah? So, no matter what your service is, no matter what you're quote, unquote selling, or if you're in a relationship of any kind, when you show up with clarity, what my experience is is that if I'm on the giving end of that if I'm in the masculine, providing the intention and clarity, I could see people exhale. I could see people let their guards down because now they're not wondering what are you trying to sell me? And the same thing is in a relationship, or what are you not telling me, right? People inherently in situations like that may not trust. But when you speak your intention with clarity and truth, people pick up on that energetically and then they feel safe and they can let their guard down and then they can decide. Then they can make a choice with clarity or ask more questions. And the same is true in a relationship. If there isn't clarity and you show up and you say that and just say you know what? I'm not clear right now on if there's potential here or not, but I would like to go on a couple more dates and explore that. How would you feel about that? Would you like to do that? So, either way, you're providing clarity with what you know your truth to be, and that puts a nervous system at ease. Otherwise, we pick up on the fact that you're skittish because you're either uncertain or you're not speaking your truth. So that's how we can invite her in. That's how we can create safety for the feminine in ourselves. And let's just always, anything we say, any of these lessons we're learning, always starts with self first. The most valuable, important, powerful relationship we have is with self. So anything you're peeling back the layers on go. Oh, have I been clear with myself on my intention? Have I asked myself what my intentions in this particular scenario are? Do I have clarity around it? If I don't, the best thing that I can do, the best thing you can do, we can do, is to take time to provide that clarity. So the healthy, mature masculine, no matter what their intention is, will provide that clarity. Listen, if you're dating or you're not even really dating, but you just want to have some experiences, sexually or otherwise, it's not good, bad, ugly, whatever it's. When you hide that or you state an intention that isn't your truth. If you say this is what I'm looking for right now, it's not going to be everybody's cup of tea, but then it still creates a sense of ability to trust what you're saying is the truth. So the healthy masculine in every situation is going to bring clarity and not ambiguity. And if you are ambiguous within yourself, then the best thing to do is to state that with clarity. So that ambiguity and that confusion feels really unsafe. Think of a time when you felt like there's something here they're not telling me, and what did you do? You probably guarded yourself. Or if the person on the other end isn't sure to the feminine, we can feel it. It feels waffly, it feels confusing and then, as a result of that, if somebody senses that there's more to the story, what do we do? We create our own story around it. So if you're not going to speak your truth, somebody else is going to create a story around it. So speak your truth. So the question for you to sit with today is where am I maybe not clear within self? Where do I have an opportunity in my business, in my relationships, wherever it is, to get more clear on what my intentions are and to state that in love and with clarity? It doesn't have to be really obtuse, it doesn't have to be wildly out there, it just needs to be clear with intention. When you start stating with clarity where you're at or what your truth and your experience is, what is the reception on the other end of it? Do people let down? Do they let their shields down? Do they feel like they can trust you more and maybe ask more questions. I'd be curious to know. So that's what I got for you this week. Go out there with clarity. Clarity creates security. Ambiguity creates a lack of safety. Let's go create some security this week. Huh, all right, have a bang day.