Today on Breakfast of Choices, I have with me today my special guest, Stacy Robertson, to discuss some important topics around suicide, mental health, addiction, grief, and turning pain into purpose. Stacy opened up about her personal journey with loss - from the impact of her father's alcoholism and subsequent death from liver cancer, to her own secret battle with prescription pill addiction and suicidal thoughts over the years. I also shared about my experiences of losing multiple people close to me to suicide throughout my life.
We had a raw and vulnerable conversation about the stigma surrounding these issues and the importance of normalizing discussions around mental health. Stacy emphasized the power that comes from sharing your story and using your platform to help others who may feel alone in their struggles. We discussed the warning signs of suicide and ways to get help, as well as the myths and misconceptions that prevent people from reaching out. Stacy also touched on how creativity through art and expression has helped her process trauma and emotions.
It was so meaningful to connect with Stacy and hear her perspective as a therapist who has overcome her own challenges. I hope listeners find comfort, courage and resources within our discussion. Please tune in to hear our full conversation on turning pain into purpose and reducing the stigma around issues that impact so many lives. Stacy also hosts her own podcast, Suicidal Thoughts. You will definitely want to give it a listen, share and download also!
From Rock Bottom to Rock Solid.
We all have them...every single day, we wake up, we have the chance to make new choices.
We have the power to make our own daily, "Breakfast of Choices"
Resources and ways to connect:
Facebook: Jo Summers
Instagram: @Summersjol
Facebook Support: Chance For Change Women’s circle
National suicide prevention and crisis, hotline number 988
National domestic violence hotline:
800–799–7233
National hotline for substance abuse, and addiction:
844–289–0879
National mental health hotline:
866–903–3787
National child health and child abuse hotline:
800–422–4454
CoDa.org
12. Step recovery program for codependency.
Today on Breakfast of Choices, I have with me today my special guest, Stacy Robertson, to discuss some important topics around suicide, mental health, addiction, grief, and turning pain into purpose. Stacy opened up about her personal journey with loss - from the impact of her father's alcoholism and subsequent death from liver cancer, to her own secret battle with prescription pill addiction and suicidal thoughts over the years. I also shared about my experiences of losing multiple people close to me to suicide throughout my life.
We had a raw and vulnerable conversation about the stigma surrounding these issues and the importance of normalizing discussions around mental health. Stacy emphasized the power that comes from sharing your story and using your platform to help others who may feel alone in their struggles. We discussed the warning signs of suicide and ways to get help, as well as the myths and misconceptions that prevent people from reaching out. Stacy also touched on how creativity through art and expression has helped her process trauma and emotions.
It was so meaningful to connect with Stacy and hear her perspective as a therapist who has overcome her own challenges. I hope listeners find comfort, courage and resources within our discussion. Please tune in to hear our full conversation on turning pain into purpose and reducing the stigma around issues that impact so many lives. Stacy also hosts her own podcast, Suicidal Thoughts. You will definitely want to give it a listen, share and download also!
From Rock Bottom to Rock Solid.
We all have them...every single day, we wake up, we have the chance to make new choices.
We have the power to make our own daily, "Breakfast of Choices"
Resources and ways to connect:
Facebook: Jo Summers
Instagram: @Summersjol
Facebook Support: Chance For Change Women’s circle
National suicide prevention and crisis, hotline number 988
National domestic violence hotline:
800–799–7233
National hotline for substance abuse, and addiction:
844–289–0879
National mental health hotline:
866–903–3787
National child health and child abuse hotline:
800–422–4454
CoDa.org
12. Step recovery program for codependency.
Welcome to Breakfast of Choices, the weekly podcast that shares life stories of transformation. Each episode holds space for people to tell their true, raw and unedited story of overcoming intense adversity. From addiction and incarceration, mental illness, physical and emotional abuse, domestic violence, toxic families, codependency and more. Trauma comes in so many forms. I'm your host, Jo Summers, and also someone who hit my lowest point before realizing that I could wake up every day and make a better choice, even if it was a small one. So let's dive into this week's story together to learn from and find hope through someone's journey from rock bottom to rock solid, Because I really do believe you have a new chance every day to wake up and make a change, to create your own. Breakfast of Choices.
Speaker 2:Welcome to Breakfast of Choices. This is your host, jo Summers. I am here today with Stacey Robertson. I shared my story recently on a podcast called Hope Helping Other People Evolve, with my new friend, tammy Lynn Connors. Through that connection, stacey reached out to me to connect, as we also have similar purposes in regards to mental wellness and mental health. Stacey has a podcast called Suicidal Thoughts and I spoke a bit on how suicide had touched my life.
Speaker 2:Stacey has a lot of insight on suicide and how it encompasses with recovery and just all the parts of our life, and I think today we're just going to do something a little bit different and we're going to go ahead and just chat about it. And, stacey, I'm really happy that you're on today. I feel like this is so beneficial, such great information. You shared a little bit with me about your dad had died as a result of alcoholism. We do share. Shared a little bit with me about your dad had died as a result of alcoholism. You shared a little bit with me about some prescriptions that you were taking that you had no idea about. So let's talk about that a little bit. Let's kind of start from there. What do you think? Yeah, sure, it's like you know, anywhere we just dive right in. Yeah, I recently was on Austin and other podcasts, as we kind of are all making the rounds as we get to know people who are in this space and who really care about how individuals are doing and how people whether it's in recovery or whether they're struggling with mental illness or mental health issues or whatever it is fill in the blank there are so many of us who, on our dirties, are just trying to get the word out that we're not alone. I'm so happy that we are turning pain into purpose, because I think we're being able to give back is just the highest form of love. So I'm so excited we're able to do this together. Yeah, so thank you. It's been interesting to kind of take note around in the recovery space.
Speaker 2:I don't know that. I realized how much and this is probably going to sound really dumb to a lot of people but I don't realize, didn't realize how much my dad's alcoholism affected me. I didn't know him growing up. I got to know him as an adult. I found him. He wasn't a part of my life and as a young adult I wanted to find out more about my dad and I found him, and it wasn't long before I noticed you know he wakes up to the beers, there's a beer in his hand all the time and you know, eventually over the years he started having pretty major health issues with his liver as a result of that and then also it created this how would I say? There were times when it was this bittersweet.
Speaker 2:When it was this bittersweet like if my dad was drunk, I got to have the conversations with him that I never got to have as a kid. I got you know all the juicy family information and just got to hear about his life story and he was talkative and jovial and all those things. But then when he wasn't drinking because he was kind of a functional alcoholic he would go to work and he was an asshole. And then it became he was an asshole to me when he was drinking. I guess we'd gotten, you know, far enough in our relationship that he felt comfortable that he could start being like that and because I didn't grow up with it, I set some really clear and very firm boundaries that ended up in us not speaking because I said to him hey, dad, why don't you call me when you're not drunk? I didn't really realize what that would mean that I wouldn't really hear from him again in 10 years. That's how pervasive, you know, the alcoholism was for him. And so then, when I found out that he was dying from liver cancer and I'm just going to warn you, I have already been emotional today, so I will probably be emotional at various times I don't hide that I was poised so much of my career as a therapist that now I'm very unpoised at what we do here. Do you have a box of tissues here? All right, ready for it.
Speaker 2:But when I found out that he was dying of cancer, he, you know, reached out to me and she had liver cancer and I was devastated, and you know, as anyone, I guess, would be. And I think that he kind of hinted for me how quickly things were progressing, because it was a very short time between the diagnosis and the time that he died. But during that time I started taking anti-anxiety medication. And then, you know, I got more and more and more because I was trying to deal with my grief. I was a single parent of three children, I worked a full-time job and at least one, if not two, part-time jobs at the time and I was, you know, juggling all the things. And then here was this the first time for me that someone significant in my life was was dying, and I didn't know how to deal with it and functioning the rest of my day. So over a period of that, maybe four to five months, I noticed that, you know, I was increasingly taking more and more medications, muscle reflux, like everything that I could to numb out, to be able to sleep, to, you know, to do all of the things.
Speaker 2:And then when he he died and maybe cause once we got through all of that, I you know the all the things associated with that. Maybe a month or so after that, I was like, okay, I gotta, I gotta deal with my life. I'm a therapist, you know. I'm like I have to deal with my emotions. It's time to, to you know, not take these things anymore. So I, to you know, not take these things anymore. So I just stopped cold turkey and I thought that I had the flu and I was so sick, for the room was spinning, I was, I couldn't stop throwing up, I had body aches for about four days and it wasn't until right, you know, at the end of it I have a friend who was a doctor, I was telling him and he's, you know, asked end of it. I have a friend who was a doctor, I was telling him and he's, you know, asking about medications, and then was like you, you were going to your withdrawals and you know I had. I had no idea and and I feel, like you know, I shared this just a little bit with you.
Speaker 2:I feel that because I had had people in my life with with substance issues and I recognized in myself early on in my college days of drinking my body didn't tolerate alcohol very well. But I also recognized early that I didn't know how to stop, and it's after more drunk I got, the more drunk I wanted to be, until I puking my nuts up, and so I tended to have an arm's distance from substances. You know most of my life and in the case of these prescription pills, you know I was like I knew I needed to get by. I felt just as bad, like, hey, this is time to go through a hard part. Well, I'm done, I'm done, I could do that. But yeah, I didn't realize the physiological addiction that had happened during that time and certainly it didn't. You know it wasn't actually, you know, watching the impact that that's had on their life and just having those hard conversations and and as well as the impact that it's had. You know, my topic close to my heart is is suicide and how there really isn't any way to mince these words but how much more at risk it puts someone's health if they are not sober, the risk losing side and then even in there you know, when they're starting out their sobriety or at whatever part of the journey, in the relapse, part of the journey, no-transcript Very different. Yeah, yeah, it is, and I you know, and I think that was also when I was drawn to you when you were on Hope on Tammy's show. You know, you just talk Because I do think that, whether it's substances or whether it's suicide or it's any number of things, we are all you know there's multiple people in our lives most of the time, whether we know it or we believe it's feelings.
Speaker 2:Sometimes we're isolated. Yeah, I have multiple people in my life that have committed suicide and it started from a very young age and the first person I was in sixth grade it was my best friend's brother and it was a very big thing in our neighborhood and they couldn't find him and we were all. Everybody was looking for him and he had. I won't get into all the details, but when they finally did find him it just impacted all of us. It really did, and in later on in life she also ended up committing suicide, so did one of her brothers, and literally it's been all throughout my life junior, high, high school, adult life, best friends, co-workers, just an unbelievable amount of people and I. It's just so crazy. To me it's very when I talk with people about it, some people may have one person or two people you know may have been touched by it or know somebody that knows somebody and the amount that I've had in my life has just been unreal that knows somebody, and the amount that I've had in my life has just been unreal, really unreal.
Speaker 2:I felt like suicide called me as part of my career. I dealt with too many for me to count at this point of personal people in my life who I intervened in their suicide attempt or they were going to or getting them hospitalized to prevent them from. And I ended up getting selected for this training to become a trainer about a suicide intervention training. And you know I didn't feel ready for it. I didn't, I was too raw, and yet here I was being told you know, as from the AUZ that I worked for, like you're gonna go do this, somebody asked you, so we're sending you, and I was like, okay, but what it did, yeah. What it did for me, though, was it was the first time that I became honest about my own struggle with suicidal thoughts. I had never told anyone up until that time, and in the course of that training, I realized how at risk I was, and I said you know what I'm going to talk about this. Let me just ask you you hadn't talked about it. Now here you are as a therapist, right? You're having these thoughts yourself. Tell me why you never talked about it.
Speaker 2:I felt like so, on one hand, I felt like it was my dirty little secret. It was this, you know, I felt ashamed. I felt like I couldn't feel that way, that I wasn't supposed to feel that way, that I wasn't allowed to feel that way, especially as a therapist, and that I would be discredited and, you know, kind of like my robes taken from me, so to speak, as a professional, if anyone knew that. That was how I felt, and so, you know, I admire that. It's just a lot of courage that day to, especially, for my first time, to admit it in front of a, you know, a room of my colleagues and other other therapists, and I did it because I realized that this dirty little secret that I had was going to kill me if I didn't talk about it and acknowledge it and figure out. You know what the heck do I need to do to, at the time, I thought, make it go away.
Speaker 2:Now it's been 16, 15 years and it hasn't gone away, and so now I'm figuring out how to manage it, how to understand the different types of thoughts that I have and why and why they come at some times and why they, why they don't, for long periods. So it's and it's become my, because I continued to have people in my life who I kept having to intervene, you know, with their suicide attempts that didn't go away and it didn't stop. And then I became, you know, it became my specialty as a therapist. And so then I said that's why I started suicidal thoughts is because someone you know is feeling suicidal and they're not telling you. Yeah, absolutely, I know that because it's my own experience, and I know that because I see how pervasive it is amongst people who feel so ashamed.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I know when my ex-husband had bouts of it over the years, I never saw it, I didn't know, until we split up and I was in Arizona. He was writing me letters and they were so dark and so not the way I knew him to be and I didn't know if he was being dramatic or manipulative or truthful or it was just very confusing, and I shared them with some people that were close to him and they kind of blew it off too, thinking that he's just trying to get at you. You know, trying to get to you, make you feel sorry for him, all those things. Trying to get to you, make you feel sorry for him, all those things. But that feeling never left me. I didn't feel that way. I felt like something was really, really wrong and I continued to talk about it and he would deny it and he would say he was fine.
Speaker 2:And then, a few more times over the years, he had admitted to me later that he had come back up and when he finally did commit suicide, it was in 2013, and I think he had tried a couple weekends beforehand and someone had found him and didn't tell the ambulance. They told him it was an accident because they didn't want him to get in trouble, right, it's that guilt. Shame getting someone in trouble. You think, or you know it's going to be a bad stigma for them, or they're going to be mad at me. Yeah, who gives a shit? Let him be mad, right.
Speaker 2:And then finding out that he was drinking he was always drinking beer, that was his thing. He couldn't hold his liquor, couldn't hold his alcohol. So to find out that he was drinking liquor hard liquor, for the last bit would have told me right away that something was serious, right. But the night before, the day before, he had texted me and said I need a friend, and I just knew it in my gut. I knew it in my gut. And the next day he had. He had done it that night, actually, probably somewhere around midnight, and all of the things that you feel with that after something like that happens. First of all, there's no closure, right, and you're never going to have it, and so that's very difficult. And you have the guilt and you have the wondering what could I have done? What could I have said? The what ifs, what if I would have done this, what if I would have done this, what if I would have done that and those things just go on and on and on and you can never talk to that person again. So having somebody be mad at you is worth it. Let them be mad, feel like there.
Speaker 2:I saw someone recently who did a YouTube video about you know, here's the number one sign and I listened to it and I just thought you know, I'm happy that people are talking about it, but I think that to put anything in a box, we want to know that there is a sign. But I think that it's really. It is individual. There are some generally speaking signs. If someone starts giving away all of their possessions, especially valuable possessions, you know, that's that can be an indicator. If, if someone starts talking about it, that can be an indicator. And, at the same time, what are the myths? I think I'm going to do an episode about myths that people think that if someone's talking about it, that they're not going to do it, or they think if someone's talking about it, they just want attention. So it's like you can take the same behavior and attribute different things to that behavior that they're going to or they're not going to. So it's really hard to tell and it's why I'm doing the podcast and why I am, you know, wanting to talk about it more like just to make it safer to talk about in general, you know, so that it doesn't have to be so.
Speaker 2:There certainly are people who they have a an event that happens, they become suicidal and they choose to act on that and die. But there's a lot of people that experience depression, you know, over a period of years. You know you have that gut feeling and you don't want to say something because you don't want them to get upset at you, or you don't want to step on toes, or you don't want someone to be mad at you. This subject is too important. Let them be mad and, yeah, you might save a life. Well, and I, you know it's the reason why I'm doing the podcast is to really try to create an opportunity where suicide can be brought up more often. And even if you come at it from the standpoint of saying you know what I'm really new to this.
Speaker 2:I saw a podcast, I heard a thing, I watched a reel and maybe this is nothing, but I just wanted to ask you are you feeling really depressed? Have you ever thought about suicide? We have this fear. It's kind of like with drugs and sex. We think that if we ask our kids that it's going to make them want to do it and I promise is they're doing it they're doing it already before she said well, we ask for it's not going to make it worse. Right, absolutely, yeah, and the same for suicide.
Speaker 2:And I think sometimes that we fear what. If we ask and they say yes, then what? Yeah, yeah, good for love, you know what to do, you know I want to in. Yeah, did you face feeling like you know, if he had said yes, that he was feeling suicidal, like do you feel, as you would have known how to handle it or what to do? Or I, I feel like I would have been able to openly talk to him about it and to have a discussion, and I know that he would have said he's fine, nothing's wrong, he's good, everything's great. But when you know somebody, you know somebody, somebody and you can feel that. And so I think, even if you think they're going to say they're fine, it's okay to open the discussion, because you can see from someone's face sometimes, you can see from their expressions, you can hear those pauses, you can hear those, you can hear it in their voice and you can feel it in your gut and I think you still have to go with it.
Speaker 2:You know, I think it just starts to break down those barriers that do keep us from talking about it, Because it is stigmatized and it is. You know, there's this kind of collective, just crickets, silence. You know, gasping of breath, that's what you think, clutching the kernels. I don't think people know what to say. You don't know what to say. People don't know what to say. They don't know what to do. They don't know how really to react to it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, well, I'm just, you know, I'm trying to normalize that there are so many more people than we ever realized who actually have felt suicidal themselves, and whether it's for brief moments or for extended periods of time, like in in my case, and so because it's, you know, when it's the other person you know, or the neighbor, or the it's somebody else, then it doesn't feel like it's real or that it's as much of a problem as we now know. The suicidal rates are increasing in some ages and are genderless and decreasing slightly in others, but overall we're seeing just a rampant increase of it increase and if I can change that by making someone still more comfortable, yeah, to talk about the difficult things, and I think that that's I feel like in the world of sobriety and recovery, I feel like that's the common denominator is that people feel so much shame, they hide their addiction. They, you know, like that you could probably relate to that dirty little secret, like I said, that that's their. You know, as they hear people's stories 100% and 100%. Sharing your stories, whether it's past or present recovery stories, can be pretty rock bottom, right. And when you start doing better and you're moving on in your life, you don't necessarily want to talk about that, even though it's still there. You don't want to share that with maybe new co-workers, a new boss, a new job that you got, and so you end up still in that guilt, fear, shame category, right, and it just keeps on going. It's like a cycle, it's a vicious cycle and I think suicide is in that same category. Right, it's that fear, guilt, shame, vicious cycle category.
Speaker 2:Just like you stated, you didn't want to talk about it and I'm so glad that you did, and I'm so glad that you were the one that was called to that training, because not only could it have saved your life, you were looking at it from a different perspective and how real is that? Yeah, I have no doubt I was meant to be the Kirsten at that training. I just it's like you know, when we come into things just kicking and screaming, we're like, yeah, oh, not me, god, yeah, but sometimes those are all bad things, right. Sometimes are the things that, the things that shake us up, are the things that we need sometimes? Yeah, so the things that shake us up are the things that we need sometimes, yeah.
Speaker 2:So tell me on, along with doing the podcast that you're doing now, are you finding a lot of the same? We don't want to put it in a box, like you stated, but are you feeling that a lot of the people that you talk to are feeling that same way all the time? They don't want to talk about it, they don't want to tell anybody. What are some of the reasons that you hear people don't want to tell anybody, or no, I I've never mentioned this because. So so far you know and of course this is anecdotal there's no, you know, harvard research study going on here with me, but sure, I think it's achievable, so one they feel like you know when is the right time or place that you, if nobody's asked and you're having this experience of stealing.
Speaker 2:You know despair and hopelessness. You know when's a great time to share that you know. So I think people feel like when, when is the? You know when do they sit down with their best friend and say, hey, by the way, I've been feeling suicidal lately. You know, it feels awkward, even if they felt courageous enough to get through. You know those things.
Speaker 2:There's also people who feel ramifications and who have experienced ramifications from their employers and from family members, you know, isolating them or cutting them off because they're just crazy or they are seen as a risk. So then if they have a you know, a construction job or something like that, then you know they get limited on what their scope is, that they can do. They, a lot of people, are afraid that they will have to be hospitalized, and you know, go away. And then there's a ton of fears about if you are hospitalized or do need to be hospitalized, what that looks like. Right, and some of those are valid.
Speaker 2:Our mental health system has come a long way, but in many ways it's very broken, and you know, I know that from a sobriety standpoint too, when people are trying to get clean, and alcohol and benzos are the things that you you need to be should be medically supervised during detox. I did not know that while I was going through my experience. I learned that later, working as psychiatric hospital and you know, amongst other other things, depending on how your body responds to the detox process, regardless of of what the substance is and you know there's, and I will say I currently work for an adoption agency and so I have a lot of birth moms over the years who have been on various substances and the way in which they're treated by medical staff is absolutely appalling, and I always encourage them that I will attend with them their appointments because I can deal with some of that with the medical staff and they won't often treat them in the same way if I'm present. But you know, the hospital experience whether you're suicidal, can go detoxing or not detoxing and need medical care could have, could be improved. I'm seeing that nicely, yes, not yet you know.
Speaker 2:You know it garners a life fear for people, for sure, and, and so you know, and, and then there's people who you know, kind of like yourself, my best friend, who is also going to be our character episode she too, there were so many people in her life that died by suicide and it was her norm. So she thought everyone experienced that Right. Everyone experienced that Right, and it wasn't really until we sat down and started talking specifics that she even realized how many people had died that she knew and were family members or extended family members and, as you said, with your friend too. Another thing that people don't necessarily know is that when you have a close family member who's died by suicide, it increases your risk also and I laugh, yeah, there's just so many things.
Speaker 2:I definitely feel a mission to educate as much as I can and always talk about it, because I think it makes the big, dark, scary monster hopefully not as scary to people. Do you have any suggestions for anyone, if they're feeling that way, what you could recommend that they might do? As a therapist and you've worked in behavioral health and you've worked in psychiatric units what kind of suggestion could you give? So the first thing that I would say is tell someone like, talk about it. And I see that coming from knowing what it feels like to not talk about it and to be on the other side, and now I talk about it all the time. But I also recognize that the solution here is multifold, as I, you know, kind of came into the the pontast and what? What was my I guess you'd say my mission with it, but it's to connect people, more people to more people, more people to more resources and more resources to our people.
Speaker 2:And for some reason there's this disconnect. There are resources out there for people who are feeling suicidal, but they don't touch everyone. You know their net doesn't get everybody and that, while on one hand you know we're trying to make it a safer conversation to have and telling people, hey, ask about your friend, is also each of our responsibility to take care of ourselves. And if we're feeling that way, we have got to tell someone that you know that we're experiencing a level of pain that we can't see our way through and that, even if that person doesn't know what to say, go to the next person, you know. Or if they don't know how to be with you on that team, because not everyone does, and that's that's okay, you know, and at the end of the day, we're the ones responsible. It's just like in recovery Nobody can do recovery for you, right, we're the ones who have to. You know, put down the bottle, down that tool, teeth, I'm like right, you're like the right one. Yeah, no teeth. I'm like right, yeah, no, absolutely, that's correct, that's correct. We are the only one that can control that.
Speaker 2:And you know, even if somebody doesn't know what to say, just the fact that you're talking about it, the more that you talk about it, the more normalized it becomes right. So if you can find your way to talk about it and find your way to bring it up with someone, so if you can find your way to talk about it and find your, I now understand it be complex, trauma, complex PTSD is not only just talking about it, but finding a way to express, whether that's, whether your thing is reminding, or it's art, or it's music, or it's. You know, like Tammy, I love seeing her videos of dancing or it's knitting, or it's photography, or like whatever your thing is, and I get it. Some people who are in profound depression often don't feel the energy to do you know things, yeah, but if you can find a way to get it out, to have some kind of expression, even if it's little, even as it means when you're scrolling to find more motivating content, more content that tells you about self-care, more content that's hopeful, do Do that it's all of our little micro actions that add up to being something that's life-changing.
Speaker 2:You had mentioned to me at one point that you are now doing some artwork. Yeah, I am. That's what is helping me. And is you know, getting out the paintbrushes is getting writing things out and finding I know this might sound odd, but finding surfaces, or, like I discovered recently that I love tracing paper and the way that a pen you know how it makes indentations and then the paper's crinkly there's something very soothing to me about that. And so, yeah, this is my artwork is coming out of my angst and my pain, and I didn't even know that some of this was there or that I could do some of the paintings that I'd done. So I'm expanding on that and choosing to say I've got to express myself through this, and one of the things I want to say that I feel really moved about is my kids. There's an organization which is doing great things and they have a shirt that says fuck stigma.
Speaker 2:And there's a very popular saying it's okay to not be okay, and I think that it's a great start, but I'm so not okay that it's not okay, and I feel like I want to shout that from rooftops, like I'm not okay and it's not okay for me to be this, not okay. And I feel a little bit like I'm not the only person who feels that way sometimes and I'm laughing now about it. But I have this big piece of artwork that sits behind my desk that says I'm not OK and it's just about being kind. You know about being kind to people and you never know what someone may be going through Right and you have no idea what someone may be going through right and you have no idea what someone may be going through. So you know, give people grace and learn to be kind and learn to talk to people and have conversations easy ones, hard ones, smiles, whatever that may be. You never know what could change somebody's outlook that day. You know there's no need to go around angry. There's just not Right. Well, and we don't. You know, I feel sometimes that it feels very trite to say this, that we don't know how a smile can impact someone, but I was that person on.
Speaker 2:I was walking on a trail. This has been a couple of months ago. I was really having a hard time and it's a place where the city has. They have these mental health tips and things along the way in this particular trail area, and I was having a really hard day, I was crying, I was walking by myself and, you know, not a big cry, but a quiet cry with tears. And you know, not a not a big cry, but a quiet cry with tears. And there was a couple that was walking, you know, the opposite direction and he just like stopped, made sure that he got my eye and made eye contact and just smiled and said you know, hope that it didn't change any of the reasons why I was crying, but it made me realize that I'm not alone. Even a stranger is saying hey, I see you. And so I think that we have no idea how much those little things matter to occur to the. We don't even know who that, and he didn't know what I was going through and yet, you know, he took the time to be himself and to smile and it just, you know I grinned from ear to ear and you know I made the rest of my walk different that night.
Speaker 2:So, yeah, right, right, just knowing, just knowing you're not alone. It's okay not be okay, but it's also good to know you're not alone, and that's one of the reasons we're doing this right To let people know they're not alone. There is people out there that want to talk about it, that are here to talk about it with you, for you help you talk to someone else about it if you need to, and there is a lot of people out here that care. Yeah, and I, you know, and I do want to say that especially, especially with suicide, and you know there is a, there is a line in the sand. You know there is a point at which someone does need higher levels of intervention, you know, and so I think that I don't want to. You know I would be remiss without saying that this is one of those topics that you know, at some point it doesn't hurt to have a mental health professional or a medical professional to help us. What are the risk factors? You know. So I don't let people to avoid that or think that a homestead with a friend is enough sometimes, or that, or that you, as the friend, think that that's enough and think, you know, oh, we talked, so I don't need to get them further help. Oh, no, you know, because it's lines of death. Yes, exactly, exactly, and at least getting more of those conversations happening, you know, for all the right reasons.
Speaker 2:Yeah, now there's a crisis line 988, right, a mental health crisis line Mental health for suicide and it's a 24-hour crisis line mental health for suicide and it's a 24 hour crisis line. I know it's in my show notes on my show all the time, but, you know, if you don't have someone you feel comfortable talking to, you can always call a hotline as well, and they can give you some resources and give you some places in your area also. That might be a good place to go as well and get those resources started. Everybody doesn't know where to go, and that's okay too. There's people out there that can help you figure out where to go and what your next step is as well. Yeah, well, and it's.
Speaker 2:If you Google anything related to suicide at all, there are tons of resources that pull up. There's the 988 number, which is a national hotline. Every location also has a local, specific hotline. There are the NAMI National Association of Mental Illness. There are so many resources out there and you can you know, you can even either walk into an emergency room, you can walk into a mental health facility and get a, you know, get an assessment and just talk to someone because they will sort out.
Speaker 2:What are the risk factors? Because there are. You know there are some clinical factors to know if someone needs to be hospitalized and there's some to say okay, it's okay, for you know, you will be connected with a counselor and some other resources outpatient to have a little bit more support. And that's really what it's about is that people feel hopeless when they feel like they don't have enough resources to get through what they're facing and oftentimes that's a temporary feeling or a temporary setback that can be fixed with a community or with auctions. And I appreciate you sharing all of that because I think you know, as we both have stated, we want to be able to provide resources, we want to be able to put people in contact and do those connections, and those connections and support are so important. So I'm glad that you shared that. Thank you. There is thanks locally for people as well.
Speaker 2:I am really glad we did this today. I know we did something a little different today in talking about just getting right into a topic and a very, very important topic and a topic very near and dear to both of our hearts, and I am sorry that you've gone through this and that you have the thoughts that you've had and didn't feel like you could share them, because that's when we start getting hopeless right, when we feel like we're just holding on to it and keeping it as a secret. So you were the perfect person that they sent that day and it was, that was intervention, and, whether you want to call it God or the universe or whatever you want to call it, it was much needed for you and I'm so glad that happened. Yeah, me too, and thank you for you know giving, you know being a person that there's a team to have these conversations with and I, you know, if I do, you might see me shouting it from the rooftop, but I see those things that nobody wants to say and nobody wants to hear, and but we need to anyways, is making my personal story, you know, public and sharing that is helpful to people because, you know, sometimes people say she's a therapist and you know I can be so stoic and all the. You know I handle all the things, but inside I'm not always handling things well and I think that it just, I guess to me it gives more courage to each of us to say, hey, it's okay to have our own stories and we don't have to be perfect. We can take off the cape for a little while and just be ourselves, and especially with, you know, with women. I didn't have women in my life really as a support or resource, and so I just really appreciate that as well. Well, so same, and I think, um, we have each other now. So I'm here for you ever. If you ever need to talk, I am always here for you, I'll do you, I will be here 20% accountability for sure. So, yeah, I'm just really glad we did this together. Our communities keep growing and that's that's what we want to support each other in these little, our little adventures. Yeah, and and we're finding, you know, we're finding that community with. We're finding that community with women. We're finding that that there are other women out there that we can build community with.
Speaker 2:And that's different for me as well. I've only been doing that really in about this last year. We just all come from backgrounds where that was a thing right. We come from backgrounds where there was boys and brother, women and all those things. So it's definitely been a game changer and a life changer for me. So that's why I want to say that I am here if you need anything. So, yeah, I and I appreciate that. Yeah, absolutely so. Thank you again for doing this with me today. I hope we can maybe do some more, do some more together and some other topics that may need to be talked about, I'm all for it. Whatever needs to be talked about and whatever needs to be shared, I'm open to whatever that might be the raw, the real. We can definitely get into that another time too. I think that's important. Also, sound good.
Speaker 1:I am so grateful that you joined me for this week's episode of Breakfast of Choices. If you're enjoying this podcast, please subscribe, give it five stars and share it to help others find hope and encouragement. The opposite of addiction is connection, and we are all in this together. Telling your transformational story can also be an incredible form of healing, so if you would like to share it, I would love to hear it. You can also follow me on social media. I'm your host, Jo Summers, and I can't wait to bring you another story next week. Stay with me for more Transformational Thursdays.