Kris LeDonne is pleased to share a heartfelt conversation with Kristin Wilson, the host of the Solidarity Sister! podcast.
In this episode, Kristin indulges us with reminiscence of stories with family life, her personal goals, limits and lessons and how community is woven throughout all of it.
The Solidarity Sister! podcast and corresponding FB group are designed to empower women with practical tools for building powerful communities and leaning in through both joy and trauma. Kristin knows what it's like to desperately need help and not know how to ask and to see a friend in need and not know how to show up. She is on a journey to figure this out and is inviting other women to do it alongside her. Kristin has been married for 25 years and is the mother of 8 children.
"Welcome to the Picture Love podcast! I’m your host Kris LeDonne and it’s my purpose to see the good in others and mirror the love back to them, and photos are one of the ways I love to do this. You’ll hear a mix of solo episodes with lessons I love to share and heartfelt interviews and valuable resources to support you with the parts that resonate. As an encourager, it’s my joy to help you picture love better in your life and if you need help curating photo evidence of lives well lived… I
You can help other optimists and storytellers find this podcast by sharing and leaving us a rating/review.
Find me on Social @KrisReminisce or visit my website krisledonne.com
Kris LeDonne is pleased to share a heartfelt conversation with Kristin Wilson, the host of the Solidarity Sister! podcast.
In this episode, Kristin indulges us with reminiscence of stories with family life, her personal goals, limits and lessons and how community is woven throughout all of it.
The Solidarity Sister! podcast and corresponding FB group are designed to empower women with practical tools for building powerful communities and leaning in through both joy and trauma. Kristin knows what it's like to desperately need help and not know how to ask and to see a friend in need and not know how to show up. She is on a journey to figure this out and is inviting other women to do it alongside her. Kristin has been married for 25 years and is the mother of 8 children.
"Welcome to the Picture Love podcast! I’m your host Kris LeDonne and it’s my purpose to see the good in others and mirror the love back to them, and photos are one of the ways I love to do this. You’ll hear a mix of solo episodes with lessons I love to share and heartfelt interviews and valuable resources to support you with the parts that resonate. As an encourager, it’s my joy to help you picture love better in your life and if you need help curating photo evidence of lives well lived… I
You can help other optimists and storytellers find this podcast by sharing and leaving us a rating/review.
Find me on Social @KrisReminisce or visit my website krisledonne.com
Microphone (Yeti Stereo Microphone) & HD Web Camera-6:
I cannot wait to introduce you to Kristin Wilson. She is just such a loving human, and she has mastered the art of community. She is an amazing family woman, but in addition, she has just adopted many, many other families in her walk of life. And I can't wait for you to hear all about it. So we'll just cut to the chase and jump in with our conversation. Enjoy.
Thank you. I'm excited to be here. Can you just give us a little nutshell intro, like, where you live, a little bit about your family, and, like, your setting right now for people who can't see your face like I can? Yes. Absolutely. So I'm talking to you from my 12 passenger van. It's parked in my driveway because it's it's what I use as my recording studio. That's a great sound. Thank you. It it traps everything in, and it and it, um, has my children be out. Yeah. So I have 8 children, 7 still live at home. And some homeschool and some public school and some do some of both. So there's just a lot going on with them, and I have competition dancers and kids who are in pretty advanced choirs that are making YouTube videos and doing cool things, like being on stage and, uh, in Salt Lake at the Echols Center this last week with Gentry singing his backup, which is a pretty popular. Wherever regionally popular group. A big deal to be performing. And so despite having a large family, you'd think that we wouldn't do that many activities, but we do. So I don't have another job outside of the home, but I am launching a podcast I have a women's community on Facebook right now, and we will be moving forward into doing retreats and other things to really just connect women because I found that over the last especially with COVID the COVID years have been isolating. And I just have a passion for bringing women together to be able to do all the things, the hard parts, the fun parts, the, you know, the the we just we weren't meant to do life alone. We weren't meant life in community. So I've been married for 25 years. Happy anniversary, which was when? October 20 third. I just let me just You were married 1 week after me and my husband. Oh, really? Yes. And did you get 25 years. You yes. That's so fun. Yay. Happy quarter century. I know. It's kind of like, how has it been this long? Like, I don't know. And we were babies. I was funny when I got married. I was like, cool. How did that happen? 8 children, 1 roof, 1 mom and dad, homeschooling, public schooling, arts, and interests. And you are absolutely right. We were not we were not designed to be islands. Yep. We were designed to be community relationship connected souls. We're all here for each our own individual journeys and yet not alone. What you're creating is not only uplifting others, it is feeding your own soul at the same time because we are relational creatures. 100 percent. It's been a super tough couple of years in our family, and I really isolated. My husband actually almost died of COVID. He was in the ICU. It was really dicey for a while. And the recovery was very, very long, much longer than people would realize, both physically for him emotionally, uh, financially. You know, it's been a long recovery, and I really isolated a lot. As someone who previously had been really good at building community well, this podcast is definitely for other women, but it's also for me. Yes. I am recognizing that that didn't serve me pulling away. And it's like I didn't wanna burden other people or I didn't want I don't know. And there were other things that have gone in in our family that were some huge challenges that I was just really quiet about. Yeah. And sometimes you have children that you wanna preserve their privacy. Right. But at the same time, you have to have safe spaces. Especially as women, I think we're just wired for that. Yes. Really need each other to just see each other. We don't even need anyone to fix things. Right. We need each other to witness. To witness for what we're experiencing. And hold space for that. So this community is definitely been so good for me and for the women that are so far involved that I'm reporting with or that are coming into my my Facebook community. I had this image of a of a pendulum. You know, you being such, you know, a relationship focused human, um, having those taken away. Sometimes it's helpful to really show you how valuable that is and to bring it back even fuller and with more intention and gratitude than before. I'm so grateful to know that your your husband is a survivor Mhmm. Of that period and that your family came through intact a little worse for the wear, but certainly volumes of lessons to carry forward. And we're experiencing we're at the beginning of that post traumatic growth which I absolutely believe happens that our capacity to grow increases through trial. Wish we could do it in a different way because I Don't say I'm actually really a fan of big trials. But at the same time, I can recognize there is so much growth that's available when we go through hard things that just isn't available to us if if everything in life just goes according to plan. This is true. I'm very much a fan of gentle lessons. And so that's where we can provide that for others, you know, the benefit of our compassion, right, while holding safe space. Absolutely. Well and I I would say that my capacity for empathy has grown tremendously. I look at when I was 20 years old and getting married, and I was young. I was a young bride, and I knew everything. Let me tell you. So Yeah. Uh, the older I've gotten, the more I've realized, the less I know. And I have so much more empathy for other people, and I recognize that there's we only ever see the tip of the iceberg for what someone's going through. I'm convinced that, like, really, like, 99 percent of the time, 98 percent of the time, people are doing the best that they can. Even when it doesn't appear that way to you. know what? Can we just chew on that for a second? I believe that everybody is doing the best they know in that moment, And we're not always necessarily showing up as our best version of ourselves in every moment, but whatever version we are is doing the best that they can with the information they have and the state they're in at that moment. And and, you know, these life lessons let us choose awareness of newer versions, and those words of wisdom come more easily. And twenties, I remember. I thought I knew a heck of a lot, and it's it's wisdom that teaches us, no. No. That's just a little nugget. There's a lot more, and you won't learn it all in this lifetime, but just work on what what you're given. Hundred percent. You know, I feel like the more you realize you don't know. Exactly. And you know what? That is a way of picturing love. That is that's viewing the world, that's viewing yourself with compassion and love and understanding. What I have gathered from you, that has got to be a major ingredient in the success of your brand new community. Would you tell us a little bit about it? Sure. So my podcast is called Solidarity Sister, and the focus of the podcast is actually to talk to all different women from all different walks of life to talk about the experiences they've had and specifically how they've been able to connect to community for good or for ill. And especially, I wanna look at those cases where people go through a major trauma. Like, in our neighborhood, we had a huge tragedy in our community last year. It was early, like, January, February. We lost 2 children in our community through freak accidents. 1 of them was an 8 year old boy who went down the slide wrong at the elementary school and died from his injuries. Like, totally freak kind of an accident. And when things like that happen, sometimes we don't show up for the people around us because we're so afraid of doing it wrong. We're saying the wrong thing or making it worse. Yeah. And so I wanna have these conversations with people who have gone through all these different experiences from being betrayed in a marriage to job loss to, you know, bankruptcy, child loss, infertility, whatever the things are, and be able to say what was helpful. What wasn't helpful? What do you wish people knew? And so that our listeners can be better at reaching out to others. And be better at accepting help both ways so that it helps kind of bind us together. So you know what are the things that really would be helpful because sometimes that silence is worse than anything. And that is what makes you feel so isolated, and it's better for someone to show up awkwardly but well intentioned with a good heart. If you can get your heart right, you almost can't get it wrong. Even if you say the wrong thing, people feel of your love, if that makes sense. It does. If you're trying to have the conversation for gossip's sake or to be in the know, you almost can't get it right. But if you're showing up with a heart that really wants to love and serve, you can build community just by being there. And so my Facebook group is really trying to be a microcosm of that by connecting women throughout the Internet. We're gonna be doing some books together, kind of like a little book club on the side, but only quarterly because I want it really, you know, low key. We're gonna be doing Brene Brown's gifts of imperfection Love it. In the first quarter of 20 24. On Tuesdays, we've just started top tip Tuesday where we're taking real questions that people go through, you know, from their life experiences and gleaning wisdom from the people in that group. And then that will be searchable. Like, I imagine a year or 2 or 3 from now where someone could come in and be struggling with their teenager and search top tip Tuesday, you know, teens and find some great wisdom that's there from the group. Kind of really bring in that. And then it's just a safe space where people can introduce themselves, can ask questions, you know, share what's really going on and find support. And I really just want it to be a a vulnerable space. So it's a private community. It's not set to public because people don't have their their whole friends list seeing everything that they would post. I am just loving the women that are coming in, both the women that I knew before we started or the people I've invited in. And now it's becoming you know, friends are inviting their friends, and those friends are in there inviting their friends. And what I'm finding is my friends have fantastic connections. I'm just so excited for each person to be in there. And even if someone shows up differently than I do or in a way that isn't as comfortable, it's an opportunity for growth for me. Why is that viewpoint not as comfortable for me? Like, I feel like if my Facebook friends list is extremely diverse. I grew up in California. We lived in Illinois, but I also grew up a member of a more conservative faith. So my Facebook feed is super diverse. And I love it. When there's an election, I have far left friends and far right friends and everything in between. It helps me be a better person. Because I can learn from all those people, and I also can come back to I think they're all doing the best that they can. Even if they share something that I'm like, oh, that doesn't really resonate with me, or I don't think that's the way to handle that. I can see they're heart in it. And they're not saying that because they don't care about the other side. They're saying that because they really have come to that conclusion that in their life experience, they feel like that's the best way to handle something. Wow. I'm hearing I'm hearing a message of acceptance and love. I am. You use 1 of my favorite words. I think you said diversity. I I love that word. I love diversity from the standpoint of not just ethnicity and color, but beliefs and variety. And 1 of the reasons I love to travel is I like to be exposed to other ways of thinking. I like to be exposed to other colors and sounds and textures and flavors, and even the same kind of tree grows differently in different places. And, from that standpoint, your community sounds just delightful and safe and accepting. And what does somebody need to be and or do in order to be part of that community? Honestly, they can find me on Facebook. I'm my name is Kristin Kearl Wilson. Okay. And you and Kearl is spelled k e a r l, like Kurl with a k Yes. My maiden name. And you could probably scroll down and find a link to it. Okay. I'm just looking for women who are willing to show up to be seen and to see others. You don't have to be a certain age. You don't have to be married or a mom or working or any of those things are beautiful. I really I'm looking for women who just wanna show up, and engage and be able to be a contributing member of the community, but in a give and take way. We wanna support you, and we want you to support us, and we wanna all be that's really what community is. I love that definition. Uh, we will make sure to share the link for your group in the show notes, I want to make it easy for people to find you through this. Oh, that's fantastic. And if you were looking for the group and just searching it, it's solidarity sister with Kristin Wilson. It shares the name with my podcast. Thank you for being vulnerable. Thank you for being open, and thank you for making the invitation for others to follow and join and and engage. Um, that's just you can never have too much authenticity and love and compassion. And that's where healing takes place. And if we can inspire others through our own healing, isn't that great? Absolutely. Yeah. And you know inspired me and then we just kind of turned out another and it's great to do that. It is. And, you know, if we can, inspire the younger moms or the future ones or, you know, our if we can just show up better for each other so we show up better in our roles in life, um, then then we're doing our part. We're doing the part we are given and choosing accordingly. And you had said something before this conversation about some really fun traditions that you have with your family regarding pictures. Would you indulge us a little bit with some of that reminiscing? And who knows? Maybe you'll just trigger somebody else to get a spin off idea that they were looking for today. Absolutely. Absolutely. So, you know, of course, we take a lot more pictures now than we used to because it's digital. So I think I have 15000 photos on my phone. To be honest, I don't always engage in all of them, and I find sometimes I'm taking pictures that I don't always go back to. And you know, so as I you know, you'd asked a question in advance about where pictures have been meaningful for us. And what really came to my mind was not even the everyday pictures we take. Although some of those are fantastic, and some of those have become favorites for me. Right. But we have 3 traditions in our family of picture taking times that kind of mark the passing of years. My oldest child was born in the year 2000. And starting that next Mother's Day, which had been 2001, I started to take a picture with her every year. And as we had more children, I would take a picture with each 1 individually and then 1 with the whole family. And everyone knows, like, we're doing it on Mother's Day. You know? Get home from church. People are in their church clothes, which I really do it at that time. And it's become a beautiful tradition because as a mom, a lot of times you aren't in the picture. You are the 1 behind the camera. So at the very least, I know that once a year, I'm gonna have a 1 on 1 picture with each 1 of my children. And that is so special to be able to look back through all the years. Both my children and I'm I have had awkward years. Some years where I'm like, oh, it looked really great that year. Like, that's the year I run a marathon. And and some of my kids are like, wow. Those middle school years were rough for us. And I'm like, you know, like, we look back. But we get to have that growth and to see it and to be able to have that connection. So that was the first 1. And then that same year in 2001, uh, our oldest daughter's first fourth of July, you know, I was this young mom. I was 22, and I'm like, oh, let's get old navy flag tees and be matching. Then it would be so fun. We did that, and it stuck. And we now every single year. So from 2001 to present through 2023, we have had that picture. And this year, it was really fun. My oldest daughter, who for some years kinda grumbled about it as all the children do do over time. Some years they're I think it's cool. Some years they don't. She was working, and she lives about an hour away from us. And she said, hey. How would you guys feel about driving to me on the fourth of July? And then we can have lunch, and then I can still be part of the the picture I thought that was really sweet that she actually still wanted to be you know, she just barely turned 23. But that at 22, living on her own, that that she had enough value in that that she I love that. Has to come to her. Yes. Yeah. I love that. Like, that I was like, okay. So I got all the rest of the kids. Okay. We're doing this. We're all gonna get in the kitchen. We drove an hour in our flag tee. So, I I mean, I did have a child who brought another shirt to change yeah. They didn't have to wear the flag tee and look like us the whole time, which I'm like, well, you're still at the table, and we're all dressed like that. But Yes. You know what? I totally get that because we go through these tween and teen years, and we all have different attitudes that it's I always tell them, I don't even care if you wear the shirt all day. Right. You get to wear the shirt for the picture. There you go. Do that. Well, some people do Christmas jammies, and you do your Old Navy tees. We also do Christmas jammies. Oh, you do? Yes. I just ordered those, um, Christmas time when you That's a lot of jammies. You got to order early enough while they have all the sizes. It is. And some years, we haven't been able to match. The year that we moved from Chicago to Utah I didn't like, we arrived on Christmas Eve, the last part of the family, and I we did not have matching jammies, and they were ugly that year. Everyone got, like, whatever was left. I was matching, and I was like, you guys, I'm sorry, but here's some Pooh pajamas. Generally, we actually do match. And it's really just the kids match. It took some years before my husband and I ended up with matching ones too, and now we all match. And on Christmas morning before anyone comes down to do stockings or gifts, everyone assembles on the stairs. We've had stairs in every house we've used, and so they're all sitting on the stairs. And we take that picture, and then it's like Christmas. You know? The festivities begin in the gift part. That's life with our kids, and we're not gonna be so focused on getting the picture just perfect. It's not a magazine spread. I actually feel so much heartache sometimes for younger moms who grew up with Instagram and Pinterest. Your first birthday party for your child has to be so mu ch to do. Now if you enjoy parties and it brings you joy to do something big, By all means, do it. But do it because it's what is coming from inside you, not from external force. Not what you think other people expect of you. That's that's true for anybody. You don't have to be a mom. You don't have to be a female to face those questions. I think every human needs to be able to give themselves permission to say, you know, is this is this for me? Is this because my soul says this is how I am? Or is this because I'm trying to make other people happy by living up to external expectations. Doesn't really work. Like, it really doesn't ever work. I mean, like, traffic laws, yeah, please. Okay? But when it comes to mindset and relationships and showing up in the world let's influence the world with love and authenticity, and and be brave enough to ask ourselves, does this really resonate with who I am? Absolutely. I 100 percent agree with that. Because I think we all have a really strong gut intuition And if you're spiritual, you can talk about it in terms of inspiration from the Holy Ghost or the Holy Spirit, or you can talk about connecting to universe or connecting to God but but I think we all have that ability regarding what our religious or spiritual beliefs are. We all have the ability to tune in and listen to what's in our heart it's way more powerful. I think people are easily convinced to behave and to live certain ways when they're focused on pleasing another. I know as parents, you know, we wanna protect our kids. We wanna, you know, teach them the best we know. But at the same time, giving them space to listen to their inner voice I'm still figuring that out, because I have quieted that voice inside myself trying to please others, and that is I'm a recovering people pleaser. I know I'm not the only 1. But every time I'm brave enough to say, how do I feel like this And my god in me, how does this set with us? It takes strength to do that when you have adopted a life of pleasing outside authority. It takes practice. And sometimes that's really hard. Sometimes what we're feeling and what you know? We wanna save face or we whatever it is we wanna do. I think back when I had 5 little kids, the my first 5 were born in less than 8 years. I was kinda losing my mind a little bit. Like, I love them, and I I actually thrived in being a mom of younger kids. And I was an elementary school teacher before that. Teenagers are what really, like, rocked my world. I was not prepared for that when they were all little, but we really were kinda thriving. And it was there were a lot of really fabulous experiences never to go all in on something. And then when I become reasonably good at it, then I kinda never wanna do it again. Well, it took me a lot of years to realize that every time I thought I'm gonna do this for my whole life, and then I was like, no. I'm actually not. This is an ADHD hobby. I'm gonna do it until I'm, like, reasonably proficient, and then I will not ever wanna do it again. But running was an ADHD hobby for me, and I went from being a non runner to running a marathon in about 14 months. So when I signed up for the marathon, I felt good about it. I was on track to do it. And then I felt this, like, inkling inside me. And I'd invited other people. It was a race that was, like, 3 hours from me. It was where my husband had gone to law school. I was having this community of people. There was a 5 k and a half and a full. And I gathered this community. We were all gonna go down together and do whatever. You know, we had I had training things that I was sending out every week. Like, I was creating a community around this event because I Yes. Need to do it in community. And partway through, I thought I should not be doing this marathon. Like, what I learned about myself is that once I ran about 14 or 16 miles, I could run 12 miles and have a normal day. 14 miles. Once I got to 16 miles, 15 miles, I was, like, so sick. Like, my body just could not do that. And I think I really wasn't eating enough either. I didn't realize just how much more nutrition I would need. There were things that holes in it because I was really a novice trying to do this. Sure. I felt like I should not do it. And I was like, I'm just gonna do it anyway. I don't know. I just Fresh through. I knew that that was not the best plan for me. Mhmm. It really messed with my metabolism. There were a lot of days that, like, I did my long run, and then I was kind of worthless to my family the rest of the day. And what I should have done is just done the half. I could have still done the half. I could have still gone. I could have still part been part of the community, but I did not listen after I'd announced to all these people Yeah. I don't wanna let them down. And, like, what people like me than I do now. 15 years will do that for you, you know, from being in my very early thirties to my mid forties. I'm like, now I would have just dropped down, but then I didn't. And it was really hard for me to recover. Like, my my body was not served by running that marathon. And I don't talk about that a lot because, you know, it really wasn't a great choice. And we don't usually like to highlight the things we've done that weren't a great option, and it's just a small thing. Right. But I look back, like, I didn't listen to that inner knowing. And I'm allowed, the people pleasing, and the, like, you know, the people around me to influence me. And it's not like that they would have even thought less of me. It was Right. How I perceive babies perceive me because I they would have all given me plenty of grace. Like, oh, you have 5 kids. That makes a lot of sense. Like Right. Your baby's, like, not even 2 yet. And you're trying to do this big thing, and so that was a good lesson for me to learn. It is really important for us to listen to that inner knowing that we have from whatever way, you know, you wanna call it depending on your religious or spiritual beliefs. Like Yeah. We all have it. Kristin, in my working with clients and their photos, I find that frustration can come easily because they by the time they get to me, they have just put off and put off and put off something that feels like a mountain. So there's layers of frustration and other negative things that surround things that they love, the treasures. And I try to preach to celebrating small wins, and you just named a whole slew of wins. It wasn't just crossing the finish line. It was bringing people together. It's the the knowing of yourself, your intention for other people, the ability to be vulnerable and admit what you learned, the ability to separate your perception of what other people thought of you and what was probably the actual reality on the outside of it. You just have many, many, many, many lessons and wins. Did you actually take time to celebrate finishing? I did. And I I had coordinated because that was back in my like, we were really cute, not just at, you know, fourth of July and Christmas pajamas, but, like, we all had family coordinating outfits and the boys coordinated and we the girls, we all had these pink shirts and, like Sure. That, like, so we have this picture that I love, that I'm wearing my marathon finishing medal, and my husband actually ran the half. And we'd be staying with our kids. And then there was a kids run, and our kids did the kids run. And so it was it ended up this family event, but I and I look at that picture. I love the picture. I was so sick. I felt so awful after finishing the marathon, and I think but it looks really good. So Yeah. Can tell the whole story, but it it is fun to look back and see see that. And there were wins despite the fact that maybe I shouldn't have run the marathon. I did, and I actually finished it. And it was especially hard because I did a lot of my training when it was really cold weather. Sometimes I would leave on my run, and all my water in my belt would freeze. Yeah. Was this in Utah? Or was this in I live we lived in the Chicago suburbs. Chicago. Yeah. It gets really cold. Yes. I do know this. And then we we were at the University of Illinois where my husband had gone to law school and it was, like, 75 that day. It was crazy. It was, like, end of April, and it was an unseasonably warm day. And when you do the bulk of your training in 30 degrees, so hard. And a lot of people were commenting about how hard it felt compared to, if we trained in the warmer weather, it would have been fine. But we were not prepared for how hot it was gonna feel. I'm from California. I love the warmth I could do without ever having winter again. That would be fine. I hope you wouldn't mind sharing that that picture that you love so much. So thank you for sharing that. That is so beautiful. You have really filled my cup today, Kristin. Thank you for picturing love with me. Thank you for sharing your heart. For having me. It's been it's been a joy
