Three Guys Around a Table and The Best Of…
Three buddies sitting around a table debating the best of everything and discussing what is on their minds
Three Guys Around a Table and The Best Of…
Pet Peeves Volume I
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Ever noticed how some people think public spaces are their personal grooming salons? Join us as we swap stories that are sure to make you laugh and cringe in equal measure! From the horror of fingernail clipping on public transport to the maddening action of a colleague digging in their ears with office supplies, we leave no pet peeve unturned. There’s a hair-raising tale of a client taking personal grooming to a bizarre extreme during a meeting, and a road trip disaster that will make you think twice about your next adventure. And if inconsiderate drivers make your blood boil, you'll appreciate our rant about the seemingly universal reluctance to turn right on red.
But the hilarity doesn't stop there! We also tackle the sticky subject of hand hygiene, from the proper use of hand sanitizer to the awkwardness of confronting someone who skips washing their hands altogether. The adventures of dealing with bathroom attendants and the struggle of finding a well-placed trash can in public restrooms will have you nodding in agreement. Plus, as boat owners, we share our etiquette tips and the dos and don’ts for guests, sprinkled with some funny boat-related stories. Finally, we wrap up with a preview of our next episode, where we'll rank the best country music songs of all time. Tune in for laughs, relatable gripes, and a good time!
three guys around a table and by three guys.
Speaker 3We're talking about three friends a lawyer, an engineer and a school superintendent and just like our personalities, our opinions vary and we certainly don't always agree. Whether we're discussing the best of or giving our tips and tricks of things in everyday life, you're sure to learn something if you stick around.
Speaker 2We have, uh, had a a little break from our uh adventures for the last couple of weeks, but we are back and ready to talk about a topic near and dear to my heart. Five guys uh, it is not five guys. The topic tonight is the best of pet peeves. Oh, I'm ready for you to get off my lawn.
Speaker 3I can't wait.
Speaker 1I cannot wait. We're going to talk.
Speaker 2And so this might anger many of our listeners, but it's just a chance. This is our therapy session. We got to talk about pet peeves.
Speaker 3You know what, if it hits home with you, it could be you.
Speaker 2Who wants to begin tonight? I think Greg is primed. Look, this is completely, 100% our chance to have a little group therapy about pet peeves.
Speaker 3It's just us here. It's nobody else talking, it's just us, it's good.
Speaker 1And no one's listening. I'm sure I don't know that. I have any pet peeves, nope.
Speaker 2Are there still people breathing on this planet? Right.
Speaker 1So my first pet peeve is people who breathe.
Speaker 2Where do we begin? I still think Greg should go.
Speaker 3All right, you should lead us off.
Speaker 1I'll tell you something that annoys me. People who clip their fingernails in public, oh, oh, people do it.
Speaker 3I've never seen that and the sound drives me crazy. I mean it drives me crazy.
Speaker 1When it's happening. I want to punch everybody in the face.
Speaker 3But don't you think it's better to do that than chew on your fingernails? While they're talking to you, that's why they're talking to you and they're chewing and spitting All the bacteria that they're getting.
Speaker 2What's wrong with that? That's a good one.
Speaker 1I don't like people biting their fingernails.
Speaker 2What happens when the nail flies out?
Speaker 3How about when you're drinking a cup of coffee and it just flies in your cup of coffee?
Speaker 2I don't drink coffee.
Speaker 3So I've never had anybody clip their fingernails in front of me either.
Speaker 1Look I had a client. This is the truth. I had a client who I'm in a meeting with them. They pull their shoe off, they pull their sock off, they take their pocket knife out and start whittling on their toenails. That is the gospel that happened.
Speaker 2I had a fellow teacher back in the day. I mean, is that not disgusting?
Speaker 1That's awful, and how am I supposed to maintain myself in a meeting like?
Speaker 3that.
Speaker 1I mean just starts whittling Just starts whittling on them, that's bad.
Speaker 2Yeah, I had a fellow teacher many, many years ago Gosh, it would have been the late 90s that taught across the hall from me, and every class change he would get out his little fingernail clipper and be clipping his fingernails. Not good man, Not good.
Speaker 3So now I've regained my composure. I've never noticed that, but I've had witness before. I've been in an office with a guy talking and he'll dig through his desk and pull out a paper clip and bend it and start digging in his ear.
Speaker 2Oh yes, no.
Speaker 1What are you getting?
Speaker 3out of me. Clean your ear at home.
Speaker 2I may or may not have done that at some point in my life.
Speaker 3But did you use a key or did you use a paper clip?
Speaker 1A key is totally acceptable.
Speaker 2Paper clip baby Paper clips Totally acceptable. Paper clips is the way to go Because you could scrape it out. Yeah, scrape it out and look. Ooh, yeah, that was a good one there.
Speaker 3Anyhow, so you guys. I did not expect to be grossed out this quick.
Speaker 1You're welcome. Congratulations. Toenails do it for me. It's just awful. Look, just keep your feet covered, not Don't toenails do it for me? Oh God, that's just awful. Look, just keep your feet covered, it's not that big of a deal.
Speaker 3I'm sorry, don't take your shoes off in my office. Well, no, that's yeah, don't get. I had a boss one time.
Speaker 3I know he doesn't listen to this, but I had a boss one time that number two. He'd fall asleep in about 20 minutes. True story we were going to. Of course you're not going to take your boss to see a client. That's not a good client, right? So I got a great guy down in Madisonville, kentucky, we're going to go see. I was nervous, as all you know. I'd been with the company for two weeks. My boss is riding with me. We get down to E-Town if you guys are familiar with the area E -Town. I'm too nervous. My boss I'm not going to mention by his name fell asleep over next to me. I'm too nervous Paying attention. Next thing, you know, he'd look up and I'm in Bowling Green and I'm supposed to be going to Madisonville.
Speaker 3That's close I stayed on 65 headed south, as opposed to hitting the west Kentucky, that West no, and he woke up in Bowling Green he goes. I thought we were going to Madisonville. I'm like, oh, the road was closed.
Speaker 2I had to take a detour, oh my gosh. So we went around and hit the other parkway back up Two weeks into your job.
Speaker 3Nice Lying is very good for a relationship. Guess what he has since retired. We're moving on Pet peeves. My 99% of my pet peeves I've thought about involve driving. If you're in the right lane and the light is red and there's not a sign that says no, turn on red, go when there's nobody there. Don't sit there and wait for the light to turn green. Don't do it when you're getting on the interstate. That's called an acceleration lane. Accelerate to highway speeds. Details.
Speaker 1Yeah.
Speaker 3To get up to speed when you hit the interstate. Speed yeah, to get up to speed when you hit the interstate. Conversely, it's called the deceleration lane. Do not hit your brakes on the interstate before you hit that deceleration lane before you get off the highway.
Speaker 1Do you have some road rage issues? I am all road rage.
Speaker 2So let me ask a question. This is really local specific, but oh, the interstate with the access ramp no the merge in front of Lowe's. All right, no, the merge in front of Lowe's.
Speaker 3Oh, to cut you off? Yeah, there's two lanes there.
Speaker 2The left lane is the lane that's supposed to keep going through Correct.
Speaker 1The right lane is supposed to turn into Lowe's. Supposed to turn into Lowe's.
Speaker 2How many times do people on that right lane come over like, oh, I'm just supposed to go straight here.
Speaker 3I agree, but I got one worse than that. What about getting off the exit is you're coming in from lexington and you get off at our exit and you get to the top of the ramp and there is a lane? There's a third lane there there's a merge lane, people will stop and sit there and wait for two cars coming and there's three lanes. Go, yeah, just go, don't.
Speaker 1So yes, I have a little road rage what about people who drive slowly and stay in the fast lane?
Speaker 3how about people who just do the speed limit in the fast lane?
Speaker 2Get over. What's wrong with that? You're not my principal. Get over.
Speaker 1I cannot condone speeding, but so I can't say people should get over the speed limit.
Speaker 3Yes, that I agree with. Listen, if there's a car behind you and no one's in front of you, you should be in the right lane. I've got the old cruise control set at 35. Yes, you should be in the right lane, I've got the old cruise control set at 35.
Speaker 1Yes, you do In a 70. That's right. Got to save gas, better gas mileage.
Speaker 3He's okay.
Speaker 2now, though, it's all good, before we start going around for round two, I'm going to jump in with one that's about travel, but not in the car, it's in the airplane. And this is a huge pet peeve of mine is, when you land and you're I mean as soon as you touch down, people start unbuckling their seatbelts and they might be in row 33. Right, and they stand up immediately and start walking, and start walking towards the front. Oh yeah, look, just be civilized and wait for the people in front of you. It can't be that big of a hurry.
Speaker 1There's an organization to getting off the plane.
Speaker 2Yeah.
Speaker 1But now do you have a problem with people who just stand up?
Speaker 2No, not necessarily Not a huge fan of it, but if you're not getting in my space, then that's okay, okay, but you might. Hey, I'm trying to avoid blood clots, or I've been sitting for a long time, that's different.
Speaker 3What about the people that just sit in their seat until it's time for them to stand up and then they finally get out of their seat? And then stand up and open the compartment and finally get?
Speaker 2their bag out. It's a happy medium.
Speaker 3They should have checked the bag in the first place. I traveled this weekend. They'll go for you.
Speaker 1Not very good. I'm a stand-up guy when it gets there, but I don't cut in front of people. I stand up. Actually, a lot of it is to keep people from trying to walk through. Correct Yep Block that lane but then I go ahead and stand up, I get my bag. If I've got one up there, I got Reagan's because he had one up there.
Speaker 2Yep.
Speaker 1And then I let the person on the left and everybody in front of me go Correct the left. We were always on the right, so the left went first and then I went after that.
Speaker 3So see, you're the good. You're the good person that goes to church on Sunday morning and listens to the gospel and the word, and then, when it comes time to leave, in the parking lot, you don't forget everything you learned.
Speaker 1You actually know how to zipper merge. You're not the one sitting there cussing everybody out because I cut you off. Take one, give one. Take one, give one. Correct, that's the way you get out of things.
Speaker 3I got one for you for an airplane, though it makes me angry. All right, you might know, greg and I may not fit the best between these seats. They're getting very shallow. Yeah, they are very shallow, best way to put it. My knees are against the seat in front of me.
Speaker 1On the four planes that I was on this weekend, I was in first class in three of them. Coming home last night I was not. We were in the second row. We were in business class but my knees and feet were in the back of the seat in front of me.
Speaker 3Here's what I'm going to tell you. I don't care if you're 4'6 or you're 8'9. Don't sit down and slam that seat back into recline mode.
Speaker 1No.
Speaker 3Do not. I am an anti-recline person.
Speaker 1I don't recline. I don't recline, I don't expect anybody else to.
Speaker 3Agreed. I don't recline because I don't want inconvenience.
Speaker 2I don't want to see or experience Way different.
Speaker 1I agree 100%. I don't recline. Don't bring your stuff back. When we went to Puerto Rico I don't know if you remember this or not Lady in front of me, long hair. I'm sitting there and she just brings it on back and throws her hair over the top of the seat so it covers up half the TV screen that's in front of me. Guys, I'm sorry.
Speaker 3I'm guilty of that as well.
Speaker 1I wanted to cut her hair off, I'm guilty of that.
Speaker 2Should have it's in your space.
Speaker 1Your space, you're allowed to do whatever you want. That's my next peeve. There you go. All right, close talkers. I can't take them Bit of a close talker.
Speaker 3I don't know how to take that.
Speaker 1Don't get two inches from my face talking.
Speaker 2That's how to take it.
Speaker 1Hey foot, no problem. Yep, don't get in my space. Yep, I've got a personal space, you've got one. I'm not going to enter yours.
Speaker 2I don't want to smell the breath of the person talking to me Now we've had to on certain people occasionally, but yeah, I agree, Close talkers.
Speaker 3You know what I hate when they're close talkers and they're touching me the whole time. They're holding your hand or grabbing your arm and talking to you like hey, but you shake their hand and they won't let go.
Speaker 1I'm not a touchy person. You all know me. I'm very touchy. You are very touchy.
Speaker 2Don't touchy. You are very touchy.
Speaker 1Don't touch me.
Speaker 2Don't worry, I won't touch you. I'm going to jump back in because of the timing of that comment. Handshaking All right, I think we should start bowing. Yeah, look, as a school superintendent, I shake a lot of hands.
Speaker 3Shake a lot of babies. That's right. Give us a lot of hands.
Speaker 2Graduation was last week.
Speaker 1You were a COVID super spreader yes I shook, I did text you that you were a COVID super spreader. Yes, you did.
Speaker 2I shook over 500 kids' hands walking across the stage. Get that diploma Very proud. And everyone every one of the kids who gave me a good handshake, a nice, firm handshake, I complimented.
Speaker 1So you only did that like three times, right?
Speaker 2I'm not just going to admire the problem I'm going to try to do something about it Nice dead fish. Good handshake.
Speaker 3Good handshake.
Speaker 2Now don't be critical of the ones that were a little clammy.
Speaker 1So you gave out three compliments, basically out of 500.
Speaker 2I won't say how many, but there were a few, have you?
Speaker 1thought about hand sanitizer between each shake. I think that'd be fantastic. Just Purell everywhere. What?
Speaker 2would be great is if I had an assistant who stood there with wipes. Yeah, like Monk, you know, you ever watch Monk who has the assistant who?
Speaker 1No, he's got the little wipes every time. So, larry David, he was against the handshake, he was for the bow. I would curb your enthusiasm, I can get behind you.
Speaker 3You know what bothers me on the handshake thing. What do? A lot of handshaking business. We all know that I don't like when I introduce myself to someone and they're sitting down and they don't stand up. Well, I hate that when they, when they, they expect me to bend down to them while they're sitting to shake my hand stand up, shake a hand, yeah, and look them in the eyes, don't you know?
Hand Sanitizer Etiquette and Pet Peeves
Speaker 2whatever I'm going to do, devil's advocate on. And someone comes up to me and comes right over and sticks their hand right hey, good to meet you and then give me an opportunity to stand up. You know, I think that's impolite. Just give me a chance to stand up and be polite and shake your hand. Yeah, I agree, that's good, you know. By the way, this may be a part one. I'm having too much ease here.
Speaker 1This is too easy. This podcast is brought to you by Purell.
Speaker 2We do need a sponsor, Purell.
Speaker 1So let's talk. I mean, I prefer some hand sanitizer.
Speaker 2Chris, you got a second one here.
Speaker 1Do you pass up hand sanitizer wherever you're at? Nope.
Speaker 2Yes, I use it every time. Look, I've got a stand-up bottle.
Speaker 1Every time.
Speaker 2I've got a stand-up bottle with the pump in my truck in the door. You know, as soon as I walk in there, purell, purell.
Speaker 1So when you're in the restroom at like a public place, and you wash your hands and you walk out and there's hand sanitizer there, double up, yep.
Speaker 3All right, I got a question for you there, yep, all right, I got a question for you. Yep, when you go to the men's room and you're in there and you know the person that's in there and they don't wash their hands, when they walk out, I call them out.
Speaker 1I call them poppy. I am not afraid to call them out.
Speaker 3It drives me crazy, but you know what else?
Speaker 1is worse my hands.
Speaker 2So do you walk out slinging them around? I do, too, act like they're butterflies. Look man, I just, whatever shirt I've got, I put both hands on my chest.
Speaker 1I do that after I eat, so the funniest story on that about not washing your hands and I'll have to clean it up a little bit. So we were in chicago for a baseball game at a bar before the game and they have attendants in the bathrooms a lot.
Speaker 2That's something else I don't like. I don't like the bathroom attendants.
Speaker 3Nope, not at all.
Speaker 1I mean, I don't need a breath mint. If I do, I'll get my own.
Speaker 2And it's not going to be in the bathroom.
Speaker 1I don't need you to hand me a towel either.
Speaker 3I a towel either, I'm perfectly capable of getting it, unless they're going to give me an additional service while I'm in there, I don't need anything else, I don't need it.
Speaker 1Don't hand me a paper towel, I agree. So we're in there. I use the restroom Number one nothing, that's a big deal. The guy beside of me number one I go wash my hands. He starts bouncing. The attendant calls him out on it and says his hand smells like what he was holding when he was using the restroom. And I mean just as plain as day, and I'm like how you doing Wow.
Speaker 2I think there's two wrongs there.
Speaker 1Oh yeah.
Speaker 2Yeah, well, you know what they say about two wrongs, they already make a left.
Speaker 3No, it's three rights make a left. No, two wrongs make a right.
Speaker 1Yeah, yeah, make a left. No, it's three rights make a left, two wrongs make a right.
Speaker 2Yeah, they do, they do so the right is, he shouldn't have washed his hands? Disgusting, that's awful. And, by the way, let me ask this I experienced this Boom, yay, alright, hey, live action. So this past weekend I experienced this in a really nice restaurant McDonald's the sink. You went in, used the end I. I experienced this in a really nice restaurant, uh, mcdonald's the the sink waffle house you went in used the restroom.
Speaker 2The sink was over on the far corner and that's where the trash can was. So you got your paper towel, your towel, you wipe your hands and you're ready to throw it away, and then you have to walk all the way over to the door and touch the doggone door handle. So what do I do?
Speaker 2take the paper towel with me, open the door and Take the paper towel with me, open the door and then throw the paper towel as far as I can towards the trash. Can If it goes in, great, If it doesn't, that's on them.
Speaker 1That's my pet peeve. You're saying there should be a trash can by the door there should be a trash can by the door. I have no issue with it. You know another thing.
Speaker 3It's my turn. There's another one now. When I, when I go into a place, a gas station, a restaurant, a public building, I don't care and I hold the door for you, say thank you.
Speaker 2A lingerie shop.
Speaker 3Say thank you. Yeah, a hardware store Say thank you, right, I?
Speaker 1try to shut the door in people's face.
Speaker 3But here's the thing. And people will hold the door. For me I don't care if it's a man or woman, I hold the door, say thank you. But when there's 10 people in line, don't expect me to hold the door for all 10 people.
Speaker 1How far away does the person have to be for you to hold the?
Speaker 3door. I do it to make them nervous. I'll stand 25 feet away and watch them. No, stare them down, no.
Speaker 2No.
Speaker 3I have the door open for them. Until they're within five feet of me, I hold the door. But again, if there's somebody coming six feet back, I expect the guy behind me to hold the door for them. Sure, that's the way it works Hold the door but say thank you, it's not that bad.
Speaker 2There's four kinds of people in the world and I say this all the time. I can't deal with liars, thieves, cheats and ungrateful people. Just be grateful.
Speaker 3How are we friends, Friends, you say Acquaintances, I was thinking you were going to a lawyers, guns and money type thing that's in our next podcast episode where we discuss the best country music song of all time. Oh yeah.
Speaker 2Giving a little preview. That could possibly be coming up soon. I'm sorry, I don't understand. Do they have?
Boat Owners and Etiquette
Speaker 3country music, golf songs. I'm just wondering. They absolutely do. So what else you got? I mean, we've talked about transportation, right, airplanes can't stand it. Oh, you know what? Okay, I'll tell you something else, being a boat owner.
Speaker 2Yeah, shit you something else being a boat owner? Yeah, being a boat owner.
Speaker 1You know he had three residences when he was growing up, and one of them was a yacht.
Speaker 3Oh my god, right, anyway it's we speak to our listen when you, when you invite people out on your boat I wouldn't know what that feels like, but okay I've never invited anybody on a boat.
Speaker 1You have been on my boat, I have.
Speaker 3I've never invited anybody on a boat. You have turned me down on my boat.
Speaker 2I've never been on your boat, either one of them, but here's my thing, Again, multiple. Either one of them Anyhow, one is a yacht and one is a semi-yacht.
Speaker 3If I invite you on my boat, then it's your job to hey. Can I pay for gas, or can I bring drinks? Can I bring snacks? What can you do? You know, even my son-in-law's figured that out. He brings payday candy bars. I mean, it's the admission ticket right there. You know he's on. So that's a pet peeve. Don't just take someone's good hospitality and take it for granted.
Speaker 1So when someone hosts a podcast at their home, and has a fridge full of drinks for them, then someone's getting a short end of the stick, I bring my own. You did bring some Buckeyes.
Speaker 3Oh, where's all my candy? I brought 64 Buckeyes.
Speaker 2I haven't seen that. I don't know where those are, what you're speaking of.
Speaker 3That's very strange, Ava. How do you like those Buckeyes?
Speaker 2I think we could do multiple of these, but I think we've run into the time limit. What do you think? I think you're right, you know what else, I think?
Speaker 3I think the Lima story is kind of a pet peeve now of mine as well.
Speaker 2Well, it's a pet peeve for me that people keep asking about who should go ahead and tell the story.
Speaker 1We've already talked about it once 16 times?
Speaker 2I mean, I don't know what the issue is, but the 17th could be the one. No, no, it's just. I really think it's honestly a thing where it's your son-in-law that doesn't listen to the podcast.
Speaker 3Because he's always at Five Guys.
Speaker 2And it's just a problem.
