#12. Out With the Old, In With the New: Preparing for the New Year

If you enjoy setting New Year's intentions and reflecting on the year of old, this episode is for you! 

We are now entering the final month of the year, a time that offers us the opportunity to intentionally close out the year on a high note and enter into a new year with gusto, clarity, and confidence. In this episode, we’ll chat about how we can best take advantage of this final month of the year so that we end 2023 with intentional reflection and purposeful action.

Come along the journey with me as I share the biggest lessons I’ve learned this year (many of them the hard way!) and how we all can enter into 2024 as the person we’ve always dreamt of being. Let’s dive in!

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Podcast cover art by Brooke Baker

Music by RØRE

Transcript

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I simply was breaking down. I had honestly hit my breaking point and Kal would come over to me and say, Devon, something has got to give what is going to give? And I would say, No, I can do it on my own. It's going to be okay. You know, I can't hand anything off to anyone. I have to do it. And he would be like, That's simply not true. And so the next day when I had yet another break down I had a meeting with my manager and I said to her, you know, I'll be honest I have cried a lot this week because I am completely overwhelmed and I think I have too much on my plate. Hello, my friends. Welcome to It's All Magic. I am your guide, your host and your friend, Devon Heyn. And here we'll be discussing how to make your life truly feel like magic. I believe that our very existence on earth is nothing less than a miracle. And that we all have so much potential to learn, to grow, to experience and to create during our short time here. It is both my passion and my pleasure to walk this path of life optimization by your side. We will discuss topics like passion, purpose, intuition, manifestation, physical well-being, and much, much more. I'm a yoga teacher, a meditation and breathwork facilitator, and a National Board Certified Health and Wellness Coach. But more importantly, I am an eternal optimist, a lover of life and a forever student. It is my hope that with each and every episode, you too will finally start to believe it really is all magic after all. Ready to dive in? Let's do it. Hello, my friends. I am so happy to be back with you for another amazing episode of It's All Magic. My first question for you, as always, is how are you doing today? How is your heart? How is your mind? How is your body? How is your spirit? How are you doing today? I know if I ask myself that question, I am overall feeling pretty good. I'm feeling a little tired, to be honest. I have been quite busy recently as many of us are, and putting many things on my plate and I'm starting to really feel the consequences of it. So before we dive into all of the great content I have planned for today's episode, I want to, of course, grant us the gift of an opportunity to take a few deep breaths and to truly check in with ourselves. So if you have the opportunity, I want you to place one hand on your heart, one hand on your belly, and then you can gently flutter your eyes closed. okay. Before we even take our deep breaths, just taking a second to get comfortable here. Really feeling comfortable placing that hand on your heart, starting to support your chest a little bit, supporting your belly with the other hand. And for today, let's just keep the breath really simple. So we'll breathe in through our nose and then just say it out through the mouth. I know that's personally what I'm yearning for. So that's what we have going on today. So when you're ready, you can empty out from that previous breath and then breathe in through your nose, inhaling all the way and open mouth. Say it out. Two more. Inhale through the nose and open mouth. Let it go. last one. Breathe it in and open mouth. Sign it all out. amazing. And keeping those eyes closed, if you can. And just taking one moment to tune in with yourself and ask yourself the questions I asked you at the beginning of this episode. How am I doing today? How is my heart? How is my mind? How is my body and how is my spirit? How am I doing? If I really turn inwards and ask myself when I peel back the mask and I take away doing everything on autopilot, how am I really doing and what do I need? And knowing that we're entering into the final month of the year, the final month of 2023, how can I use this last month of the year to propel me into an even better year? Next year? How can I not take for granted this month and instead use it, use it to increase how amazing this year was? Or if this was a tough year, how can I make this last month? The best month yet that this year has to offer? What will I prioritize in this final month so that I can end with a bang and go out of this year on a high note? What will I prioritize? What will I focus on? And then on the flip side, what will I let go of? What will I surrender? What is no longer serving me or feeding my spirit, feeding my mind, my body to realizing that this last month can be an opportunity to bring even more beauty into this year before we close this chapter and to prepare for an even more wonderful year coming up. Knowing that we have that power every day that we wake up is a new opportunity every week, every month. And then, of course, every year. So taking one deep breath, knowing that you have the power to live this month the way you want to breathe it in the final exhale out of the mouth, say it out, beautiful. You can slowly flutter your eyes back open if you got the chance to close them. my goodness. I will be honest. Many of the times when I guide are breathing, I just feel calm on the other side. Today, when I just opened my eyes, I felt like I could fall asleep. And that is when you really know you're tired. So many of us operate on autopilot all of the time, and so it isn't until we take a moment to actually slow down, tune in and ask ourselves what is going on inside? How are we doing that? We realize, my goodness, I'm so tired. Can I finally put down everything I've been holding on to and putting on my plate? So that is how I'm doing. But I hope you got a little bit of clarity on how you're doing and what you need in this final month of the year. That is what today's episode is all about as we enter into the final month of 2023. I want us to really use this as an opportunity, as I said in that meditation, an opportunity to ask ourselves what did we want to accomplish in this year that we haven't yet, and how can I work closer to that goal or that dream in this final month? Or what are a few lessons that I learned this year that I should probably start implementing now so that I can practice being the version of who I want to be as I enter into 2024. For most of us, we come up with these lofty goals and ideas and dreams when we enter into a new year. But every single month, every single week and every single day is an opportunity to start anew. So if this year has been the worst year for, you know, that this month can be a new chance, a new opportunity. And if this year has been incredible for you, allow this final month to be the cherry on top. So I really want today to be your opportunity to ask yourself those questions of how can I use this final month as an opportunity? The year is not yet done. I know we often anticipate the future and rush ahead and say, my goodness, you know, it's the end of the year, but it's actually not. We have another wonderful 31 days whenever you're listening to this. So with that, I will segue into the real meat of today's episode. So as I was recently thinking about how I want to use this final month of the year to my benefit, I thought, I really want to take this time to reflect on the lessons that I have learned this year, or at least the lessons that I think the universe was trying to get me to learn this year. Whether or not I have fully processed and integrated that wisdom TBD to be determined, I will let you know. But I want to take this as a moment to reflect on everything that I went through this year. The good, the bad, everything in between, and see how I can use those lessons to improve myself, to improve my life so that I can kind of practice that this final month before I enter into the New Year. When I enter into the new Year, I want to wake up on January 1st and already feel like a new woman. I want to already feel like the version of Devin that I want to be. And so in order to do that, I got to start practicing now, as do all of you. So take this podcast as your chance to kind of digest some of the lessons I'm sharing. I'm sure I'm not alone in having learned these lessons this year and then later today or later this week, Take a moment to ask yourself what are the lessons I have learned this year? Who do I want to be in this next year and how can I already start practicing those lessons and practicing who I want to be so that on January 1st I wake up and I am already that person. So with that, we will dive into the four lessons that I learned some the hard way this year. They have been lessons that I have truly learned through pure experience. You know, so many of us are given advice here and there. We'll hear these beautiful yet cliche quotes that feel like they make sense. But honestly, until we walk through that trial ourselves, we do not learn the lesson. In one of my past episodes, I was sharing one of my favorite quotes that says, You live it till you learn it. And I really believe that's true, that we live the same experience on repeat until you have learned that freaking lesson. And so these are the lessons I'm walking through right now. And I'll be honest, not all of them have been fully learned by yours truly, but I am getting there, as are all of you. So lesson number one is ask for help. And I know we hear that all the time, but I wanted to share a couple reasons why it's so helpful to ask for help and then a few stories of when I haven't asked for help and that hasn't gone well. And then when I have asked for help and it has made all the difference in the world. So first of all, a couple reasons why it's so important to ask for help. Let's start with the obvious, which is that if you feel overwhelmed, there's too much on your plate. You are struggling. There's something that you have to do that is not really your strength and you really don't want to do it. If there is a way to ask for help, ask for a favor. Delegate the things that you don't have time for or don't want to do. It makes your life easier. It's as simple as that. You know, we all try to be so strong and capable all the time and we are all strong and capable, but that doesn't mean we have to do this thing alone. My dad growing up would always say to my sister and I, Life's a team sport and it really is. I think the older I get, the more that wisdom is kind of integrated into my psyche because man, life has its ups and downs, and especially when you're in one of those valleys when you are not at the top of a mountain, but you're in one of those ditches, we really need to lean on one another. And I have found that out sometimes the hard way. So that's reason number one of why we should ask for help, simply that it makes your life easier. The second is that there's actually this really fascinating psychological concept called the Benjamin Franklin effect. And it's so funny as I was preparing for this podcast and I was thinking about my lesson of asking for help, I had this random flashback to high school history where I remembered the following. I remembered learning that there were some American political leader who had asked his foe one of his enemies, for help with something, knowing that it would make his enemy like him more. And the reason why I remember this, I don't know. I would say it's probably because I'm obsessed with human behavior and human psychology. But I remember this. And so earlier today I was researching it and found that it is a real thing called the Benjamin Franklin Effect, which is that when you ask someone for help, you increase your likability and you essentially get yourself into the good graces of that person. And so for Benjamin Franklin, he had this kind of enemy in the Peninsula assembly when he was serving on that. And he decided, I'm going to ask this other legislator to borrow his He had some rare book, a collectible book in his library. And Benjamin Franklin was interested in reading it. So he asked his legislator if he could borrow the book. And as soon as he did, Benjamin Franklin said that that other legislator became so much more talkative and civil with Benjamin Franklin at these meetings. And so that is where we first realized the Benjamin Franklin effect and I have found this to be so true. About a month ago, I had a really difficult period of time at my work, which is, as I've mentioned in past podcasts, I have a full time corporate tech job right now. I will be leaving this tech job in about a month at this point, but anyway, anyways, right now I still have the job and a month ago I was really struggling. I was completely overwhelmed. I was balancing work and this podcast as I was training multiple new hires at work by myself. I was in charge of many different segments on my team, so there was just a lot going on and quite honestly, I had a week where I was on my period and I cried every single day at work. Now granted, because I work from home, it didn't look like me crying in the hallway or crying in the bathroom, but I would be working at the kitchen table and count. My amazing husband would look over at me and he would just see tears streaming down my face. And for me personally, I think it's because honestly, when I'm on my period, especially, some might argue that you're more emotional, which could absolutely be true. But I like to think of it as you're more intuitive, you're much better connected to what you can and can't handle and what your body needs, what your heart is craving, what your mind is yearning for, and so on. That particular week, as I was being essentially forced to do way more than I can handle alone and so many things I didn't want to do and so many really high urgency, stressful things. I simply was breaking down. I had honestly hit my breaking point and Kal would come over to me and say, Devon, something has got to give what is going to give? And I would say, No, I can do it on my own. It's going to be okay. You know, I can't hand anything off to anyone. I have to do it. And he would be like, That's simply not true. And so the next day when I had yet another break down because I could not handle it if I'm being completely transparent here, I had a meeting with my manager and I said to her, you know, I'll be honest and I will be very honest here. I have cried a lot this week because I am completely overwhelmed and I think I have too much on my plate. And she said, my goodness, if you are crying, you know, Miss Sunshine is kind of what they call me on my team, then something needs to give. And she said, Tell me about it. Tell me how you're feeling. Tell me what led up to this point and tell me what you can give to me. I want you to delegate to me so that I can take things off your plate. And I'll be honest, I didn't even know that was an option. I mean, I was thinking of just telling her how I'm feeling and explaining all of the chaos that had ensued that week at work. And to hear someone say, my gosh, I'll take something from you. It was such a gift. And so I ended up delegating a few things to her. And guess what, you guys, it was really helpful. It made all the difference. No more tears, because that particular week I had, you know, a to do list that was a mile long. And for me to say, Hey, these three things that I kept having to push off, push off because they were less urgent and I had to focus on all these fires too, that I had to put out. I was able to delegate those things to her and she was like, easy. I have all the time in the world right now. So there is your lesson of just ask for the dang help and be honest about how you're doing. At the end of the day, whether you're in a work situation, a friend, group, anything. We're all just human beings. We all have so much more in common than we don't. And so in that meeting when I said to my manager, you know, I got to be honest, I'm not doing great. She could look me in the eyes and say, I'm so sorry it led to this. I'm so sorry we ended up here. And honestly, after that meeting, I felt like she I don't know if I would say she liked me more because she never had anything against me, but I think she really respected and admired my honesty. You know, it does take courage and strength to be fully transparent. And I was at such a low point that I had to be transparent. I couldn't do one of those. I'm doing okay. You know, it's kind of a busy week, but I'll get through it. No, I was at the point of I am not doing okay. I am crying to the point where I am like choking on my tears. So I didn't say all of that. But you get my point. I had to be honest. So that was an example of a time that I finally asked for help. And it worked. It served me well. Another one is honestly, this podcast, as I have shared in previous episodes, I have wanted to start a podcast for years and I just either never had the opportunity, never had the time, felt like there was too much to figure out on my own, because I always have done things on my own, especially as an entrepreneur in the past. I didn't have, you know, any teammates. I couldn't delegate to anyone. And so it was on me to build my website and do the marketing and do the selling and do the teaching and do the facility eating. And every single aspect was on me, which is true for many entrepreneurs. But this time around, as I finally decided to start this podcast, I said to Cal, I want to do things differently this time. You know, last time I tried to take it all on my own, I got completely burnt out to the point where I had to jump ship and I don't want to jump ship again. I want this to be my thing, my path. It feels so right, but I know I need to do things differently. And then, bless his heart, truly, he offered to help me with the editing and the social media and just the set up of the whole thing from finding the right lighting and microphones. And he has been the greatest angel and gift in my life for many reasons. But even just focused on this podcast, you guys, I could not do this podcast if it were not for Cal, as I've mentioned a million times at this point, balancing my full time corporate job with this podcast and then everything else that life has to throw at us. I could not do it alone. I mean, beyond recording these episodes, there's a lot that goes on in the background, such as many, many, many, many, many hours of editing and creating social media clips and all of that. And so to have someone that says, You don't have to do this alone, Dev, I got you all. I'll be your partner on this project. it made all the difference in the world. And so those have been the two ways that I have already started asking for help, which is very new for me. I mean, as you could see, even from that scenario at work, it hadn't even occurred to me that I could ask for help or delegate some of the tasks on my plate to someone else. And that is true for so many of us. We either don't think of asking for help or we say, No, I'll be fine. You know, I can do it. And sometimes it's not true and that's okay. So lesson number one is just ask for help. And there are two other quick quotes that my dad always said growing up, so I already shared one earlier that says Life's a team sport, which is short, sweet and simple and lovely. But he shared these other two that I find to be so true, and I couldn't choose between them, so I wanted to share them both here in one, he says, If you want to go fast, go alone. But if you want to go far, go together. And I felt that way with this podcast. I knew that if I did it completely on my own, sure, maybe I could go fast. I mean, if I could even get the podcast out every week, but I would burn out. I would I would end very quickly because I would not have the time, energy and endurance and stamina to go far. And so thank goodness for my life partner and podcast partner editing partner Cal because now I can go far. The second quote is if your dreams can be achieved alone, you're not dreaming big enough. And I love that. I love, love, love that. That goes back to the first one of life's a team sport. So let this be your reminder as well that it's okay to lean on other people. And in fact, if you remember the Benjamin Franklin effect, they might even like you more after you've asked them for help. So that is lesson number one. Lesson number two is more in line with something my mom always taught me. So I'll start with her quote, It's not really a quote, but this is just I can hear her voice ringing in my ears saying these exact words and then I'll explain what they mean. She would just always say it's just not worth it. And what she was referring to was any time I was putting too much pressure on myself or overly stressed or trying to add yet another thing on my plate to be perfect to do, perfect to accomplish and achieve constantly, If ever it got to the detriment of my mental health, she would say death. It's just not worth it. Let the thing go or don't sign up for that other dance class or stop studying for the test. It's just not worth it. And I've heard her voice in my head so many times recently because balancing everything in my life, as I have said, can be very tricky as it can be for many of us. And I had this situation a couple of weeks ago where I believe it was a Thursday or Friday night, and Cal and I were planning on editing the podcast, as we do every single day after work and every single Sunday all day. And on this particular day, I want to say it was a Friday night. I had gone for a little walk after work because I just needed some fresh air. But Cal said he was too tired so he stayed at home. Usually we do a little post-work walk together, but on this particular evening, no, I needed some fresh air. He needed some chill time. So I went out for my stroll and almost immediately the second I got a little space from being inside and attached to my screens, my first thought was, You know what? Screw it, I'm not working tonight. I need a break. And I started thinking of my mom saying, it's just not worth it, you know, if it's going to make me unhappy or burn us out in some way, I have to let go a little bit. If I eventually miss one podcast post or don't have three social media clips for an episode and only have one, whatever people will forget, people will move on. It's only me that would feel emotionally attached to it and it's just not worth it. And so what I did, I came home and as I walked in, Kal said, okay, you ready to edit? And I said, No, we're not editing tonight. We're actually going to get take out and we're going to watch Lord of the Rings. And the reason we were watching Lord of the Rings, by the way, is because we realized a few weeks ago that neither one of us had ever seen Lord of the Rings. And it's iconic. It's mentioned so frequently. There are just allusions and nods to Lord of the Rings in all sorts of art and different mediums, so we decided to watch it. But on that particular night when I said those words of, No, we're not working, we're actually going to do something fun and play hooky from life, a little bit hooky from our responsibilities. He instantly lit up. It's like I gave him the permission he needed. Heck, I gave myself the permission I desperately needed. And he said, thank God. Okay, that sounds amazing. Thank you. And so we ended up getting Thai take out watching Lord of the Rings, and it was a fantastic night. The next day we were actually going on a trip. And so the night before, the night where we played hooky, not only were we going to be editing the podcast, but we also were planning on starting to pack. Now, granted, this was a weekend tonight. This was like a Friday night. And on that walk I just felt like, No, I just don't want to do it. And of course there are times where we need to do what we don't want to do. But I am a firm believer that every once in a while you just have to play hooky. And I actually heard about this study one time that when these thousands of adults were asked what memories they have of times when they had great fun and they felt like they were playing so many of their memories were from times where they actually broke the rules or played hooky or did something that they quote unquote, weren't supposed to do. And so one of the examples from quite a few people in the study, there was a group of women who, after they had dropped off their kids at school, they decided, you know what, let's go to the movies and see a movie together. And so they had done that. And this entire group of women had reported it was one of the funnest days they'd had in years. And so let that be a reminder for all of us that sometimes it's just fun to play hooky. And even for me. I was reminiscing with one of my one of my friends today. I said I have this core childhood memory of my mom, sister and I on some random school day, either my sister or I was sick. And I don't even remember which one of us was sick, because what I do remember is that my mom looked at us and said, How about we all play hockey? Let's both or let's all stay home and watch movies? And we did so for the child that was sick. You know, my mom called the principal and then for the other child, she also called the principal or the teacher or whoever and said, hey, both both girls are sick. They're going to be staying home. And we had the best day ever. And there was nothing spectacular about it except that I was with my sister and my mom watching movies on a Wednesday or whatever day it was. And so that has been my lesson this year of sometimes it's just not worth it, you know, let something go, delegate a task, say no to the plans you don't want to do. Don't do things out of obligation, don't should on yourself and sometimes play a little hooky with life. So that's my lesson number two. Lesson number three is a fun one. It is believing that I am just as capable and lucky as anyone else who has quote unquote, made it. And there's a particular reason why I chose this one. First of all, I think so many of us will look at someone else who is happy or wealthy or successful or fill in the blank whatever thing you are craving for yourself in your life. If you look at someone who has that thing, you say, they're lucky, or they're smarter than me, or if only I'd had that business idea. Whatever it is, fill in the blank. We all create kind of these excuses as to why we can't, why we can't be that amazing, why we can't feel that beautiful about ourselves or feel good about our bodies, why we can't be that successful. And none of it is true. None of it is true. Granted, we are all starting from different places on the track. Some of us start ahead of others, and that part is true. However, we are all equally capable and lucky. So recently I had posted one of our recent podcast episodes and it went really well in case. In fact, one of the social media clips that we posted went completely viral. And then I got double my number of subscribers overnight. So when I woke up in the morning and I was checking my social media as I probably shouldn't have, I saw that my subscriber count had doubled, and I share that not in any way to brag. We're still talking about low numbers here, but I thought I, I can be one of those people that gets to be my story. And I said to Cal, we hear so many times of the person that said, you know, I just stayed persistent and consistent and I kept posting or I kept working. Whatever your particular goal or project is, you know, fill in the blank. And then one day I woke up and my subscribers had doubled or I suddenly had ten more customers, or I had three emails from people that wanted to be my clients. And I realized I get to have one of those stories, but not only me, we all do. You know, no one is luckier than you. No one is smarter or more capable. Yes, we all have our own strengths and characteristics and capabilities, but we're all equally lucky. And you get to have the story you want to have. And so I just had that excited moment of I, I get to be one of those people. And even that is the only time that that particular situation happens where I wake up and my subscriber count has doubled on YouTube. Hey, it's already part of my story. I feel set for life, so that is my lesson or my new ideology. Number three, that I am going to take with me into 2024, that we are all equally lucky and capable of making great things happen in our lives and of being happy and healthy. So moving on to the final lesson is this There is a time and place for everything, and things change a lot faster than you might think. They can. And I share this because this year has been a truly crazy year. As I've shared in past episodes. About ten months ago, maybe even 12 months ago, Calen, I started feeling really lost in our current jobs kind of confused, you know, why are these jobs not as great as we thought they would be? Why are they not fulfilling us or satisfying us as we thought they might? And we started asking ourselves those hard, deep questions of what do we want instead? What would better fulfill us? We had no idea we were so lost. It was that really frustrating place to be where, you know something is wrong or something needs to change, but you don't know what needs to change. And we sat in that limbo for a long, long time. And at the time we were so impatient we thought, we really need to figure this out. And so we would spend weekends where we would journal about it and we would go on long walks and hikes where we would talk about it. And quite honestly, we talked ourselves in circles at that point. We were just going on and on about what wasn't right and trying to come out, come up with these random ideas as to what we could do instead. And nothing felt right. And the reason why nothing felt right is because nothing was right. Then we were not ready for our next steps, even though we were starting to feel that discomfort. That is step one. And then finally, once you've walked through enough of that discomfort and you've stayed patient through the process, you get to a place where you might find your answers. And that's what happened to us. It took months of feeling slightly discontent and uncertain and lost and frustrated and impatient. And then finally, months and months later, we started finding the answers because then the timing was right. And so that's what I mean by there is a time and place for everything. There is a time and place for you to feel lost and you shouldn't rush it. That is part of the process. You have to be in that dark place. So that lost place, that confused place before you can find clarity and light and your next steps forward. So there's a time and place for everything. And then my second point is that things can change so much faster than you think they can. When we were first even coming up with these ideas of what we would do instead of our current lifestyle and our current jobs, we were so unclear on the timeline. We felt like, okay, so you know, maybe in a year or whatever and fast forward now, if we knew that in a few short months we would both have left our jobs and, be on the brink of potentially traveling the world. I am podcasting and we are YouTubing together and I'm teaching workshops and he is maybe volunteering on farms and learning about beekeeping or jaws would have dropped to the floor. I mean, this is not what our lives looked like even a few months ago. And so the whole concept of, you know, in six months time you might not even recognize your life, you might not even recognize the person you are because you have grown and you have challenged yourself and you've maybe become more of the person you want to be. That is mind blowing to me and so, so magical that there's a time and a place for everything. And then things change so much faster than you believe they can. And so I personally will be marching. Chin held high into 2024. Knowing these lessons, knowing that, number one, I can ask for help. Number two, sometimes it's just not worth it. And you got to play a little hooky. Number three, I am believing that I am just as capable and lucky as anyone else. And number four, there's a time and a place for everything and things can change really, really fast. and I am still, of course, going to take time to journal more about these ideas and really take time to integrate them into my psyche and who I am because I want to walk confidently into 2024 knowing that I have learned these lessons. And next time when these scenarios arise, I will choose different. Because I will be different. I will have integrated and processed these lessons to the point where I am genetically and cellular. Lee A different being. And you can too. So after listening to episode, I want you to also take the time to reflect on the lessons that you have learned this year and how you can march into 2020 for being a different version of yourself. You know, take full advantage of this last month. Maybe this is simply your month of reflection and of deciding what you want. Instead, what do you want for yourself in 2024? What didn't go the way you would planned in 2023 that you will choose differently in 2024? And how will you continue to work closer to your dreams, your goals, your big ideas, and most importantly, to the version of yourself that you want to be? And with that, I will wrap up today's episode. As always, if you enjoyed today's episode or any of the others, please rate and review the podcast on the Apple Podcasts app on Spotify wherever you find your podcasts and follow on YouTube. I guess I should say subscribe as well as Instagram. You can find me at It's All Magic Podcast. And with that, I am sending you love, I am sending you light, I am sending you all the hugs in world. I'll see you next week. Boyfriends.