#32. Finding Stability During Change & Peace During Pain

Are you currently experiencing a period of change, transition, or limbo? Are you feeling a bit ungrounded and unsure of how to keep your sanity and well-being when it seems that life around you is just pure chaos?

Well, fear not if you’re in this boat my friend because I am too, and today, I’m sharing with you my top tips for keeping yourself grounded and healthy during crazy times of change or uncertainty!

In addition to sharing these tips and tricks though, you can also expect a great deal of storytime in today’s episode, which I know is everyone’s real favorite! I talk about my recent emotional move out of my home state (California), what it’s like being “in limbo” staying with family for almost two months before moving internationally, a few of the obstacles I’ve endured recently, and how I moved past them, and so much more!

I hope you enjoy going on this journey with me, my friends! Let’s go!!!

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Podcast cover art by Brooke Baker

Music by RØRE

Transcript

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But sometimes life is just going to be life and it's not all going to go your way and you just have to laugh it off. Hello, my friends. Welcome to It's All Magic. I am your guide, your host and your friend, Devon Heyn. And here we'll be discussing how to make your life truly feel like magic. I believe that our very existence on earth is nothing less than a miracle. And that we all have so much potential to learn, to grow, to experience and to create during our short time here. It is both my passion and my pleasure to walk this path of life optimization by your side. We will discuss topics like passion, purpose, intuition, manifestation, physical well-being, and much, much more. I'm a yoga teacher, a meditation and breathwork facilitator, and a National Board Certified Health and Wellness Coach. But more importantly, I am an eternal optimist, a lover of life and a forever student. It is my hope that with each and every episode, you too will finally start to believe it really is all magic after all. Ready to dive in? Let's do it. Hello, my. Friends. And welcome back to another magical episode of It's All Magic. How are you doing today? How is your heart? How is your life going? Are you in a. Season of peace and consistency? Are you in a. Season of. Change where everything. Feels like it's in limbo? I ask because it. Is a very. Thematic topic for today's, podcast episode. Today we are going to be talking. All about finding a sense. Of consistency and constancy. When everything feels like it's changing, finding a sense of peace. During times. Of pain and hardship, illness and injury. So we're going to be talking about a lot. Of really powerful. Stuff today, and some lessons I've picked up the hard way that I think might be helpful. For you. All as well. So that is why I ask you these questions. Where are you. In your life? What is going on? I will tell you all about my life and what is going on. All of the changes that have ensued since. I last sat down. To record. Even though you listen. To these every week, you. Should know that sometimes when I'm doing my job well, I have a bit of a backlog of episodes recorded so that when life gets crazy as it is right now, I can rely on that for a couple of weeks. But alas. We are almost. Out of that backlog. So I am now sitting down. To record. And boy oh boy, have things changed. So before. We get. Into all of the fun. Story. Time I. Have for us in store today. And the hard earned lessons that I have gained through these hardships. Let's breathe first, shall we? Because that's exactly what I need. And I may argue it's probably exactly what you need to. So today, going along with the theme of finding peace. Harmony, and. Balance in times of chaos and change. We are going to. Go with an. Oldie but a goodie which is. Equal ratio breath or box breathing. So if you're new. Here, welcome. We have done this breathing exercise before, but I always like to give a. Little synopsis of what the breathing exercise is and why we like to practice it. So equal ratio breath. Is. Very beginner. Friendly, but as I always like to say, it's extremely powerful as well. It's actually taught to US Navy Seals during their basic training to help them come back to a place of center, harmony and balance whenever they are in times of extremely high stress. When their environment is changing and when they need to focus and come back to center. So that's when we can. Use it as well. Whenever you feel like the world. Is just a little bit too much. You can do this and bring yourself back to balance. So the way. This works is that we will be. Breathing in and out of the nose only. So no mouth breathing here. We're going to breathe in through the nose for a count of five. Hold at the top for a count of five. Exhale out of the. Nose for. A count of five and hold our breath at the bottom for a count of five. You can choose any. Number that works for you when you're breathing. On your own time. If five is a little too long, I invite you. To start with 3 or 4. If you get to a point where you'd like to stretch yourself a. Little bit. Maybe. You start. Using counts of six, seven, eight, nine, ten. Etc. so find. What works for you. But five tends to be a. Pretty. Good entry point. And it's just kind of a comfortable, comfortable number. So if you'd like. To close your eyes. As always, you can go ahead and do so now. And let's first just take. One deep cleansing breath together. So emptying out from your previous breath and then breathing in. Fully through the nose, filling up all the way. This time. Open your mouth and sigh it out. Hey beautiful. Seal the lips. Breathe in for five. Four, three, two, one. Hold for five. Four three. Two one. Exhale out of the nose. 54321. Hold for 54321. Second round. Inhale for five. Hold for five. Exhale for five. Hold for. Five. And inhale again. Hold for five. Exhale for five. Hold for five. Fourth round. Inhale for five. 4321. Hold for five. Four three. Two. One. Slow. Exhale for five. Four three. Two one. And hold for five. 4321. Last breath. Inhale for five. Hold for five. Exhale for five. Hold for five. And normal. Breath into the nose. And out through the mouth. Hey, beautiful. You can flutter your eyes open. To a world where you. Get to feel at peace once more. I hope you. Enjoyed that breathing exercise. You can practice this particular. Technique at any time in the day. It won't keep you up. So if you have insomnia in the middle of the night and you literally just cannot fall back asleep, definitely practice this breathing exercise. It'll calm you down, bring you back to sleep. Or if you are a little stressed in the morning and you need to come back to center, it's a perfect time. To do it. Or afternoon, or after brunch, or before dinner, any. Time of the day and at any point in the life cycle. So whether you are a three year old and. You're having a tantrum. Or you are. A 90. Three year old who needs to calm yourself. Down. This is perfectly. Healthy and incredibly powerful. So with that. Behind us. Let's get into today's topic. As I already mentioned, we will be. Talking about how to find a sense of normalcy and consistency when it feels. Everything in your. Life. Everything around. You is. Changing. Or. Chaotic. We're also going to talk. About how to find peace and presence. During times. Of pain and hardship. And yes, I did mean to literally with those peace. I kind of love it. I hope you do too. But before we get. Into that, I need. To set the stage a little with a bit of a life update because there's a reason that we will be talking about all of these topics. Today. And that reason. Is that I've moved. Yeah. Wow. I can't believe I can actually say that. I have literally moved. when I say I mean, Carl and I have moved, but. We are not. Yet at our. Final. End destination, so we're in a bit of. Limbo. So we moved out of California. We moved out of. Our precious. Little cozy apartment nook that we loved so much, and we said. Farewell. To. Our neighborhood. To my home state. To our family members that are. Still in. California, to our friends. We said goodbye to it all so that we can. Embark. On our. Adventure where we will. Eventually be ending up in Thailand. As we've. Shared on this. Episode. But before we get to. Thailand, we. Are. Spending. Just shy of two. Months with family on the East. Coast, so we're kind. Of hopping between. Some of our family's. Homes so that we can see everyone one. Last time. We have a couple family events like weddings and things like that that we have to attend, and then. We will be. Flying out of the United States of America and heading to Chiang Mai, Thailand. But this has been a really crazy time. And it started. All of this chaos. Started. In the moving process. If you have. Moved before. You know the chaos of moving, it's not only physically. Chaotic. Where you're often. Kind. Of it feels like living in. Squalor because. A lot of your dishes are packed away. You're living amongst boxes. Sometimes your mattress is on the floor. At one point. We didn't have a table. Or chairs anymore, so we were. Eating on the. Floor. With like shoddy little placemats. That were actually just. Cardboard boxes because our placemats were packed away. So that is the physical chaos, but it's also a mentally. Chaotic and. Emotionally chaotic. It's mentally. Chaotic because you're constantly. Thinking about, okay, so I need to pack this in this box, but. I already put that in the storage unit. And this we're gonna have to take with us to the East Coast, and that's going to be in the Thailand backpack. So whatever your version. Of that was, I'm sure it was mentally chaotic for. Us. It was. Four different. Piles. For everything. There was the. Thailand. Pile. There was the East. Coast pile, there was. The storage unit pile, and there was the. Donation pile. So it was crazy for weeks. But the emotional piece is. That you're saying. Goodbye. To a home. Or a chapter to a neighborhood. To a state, to a country. Whatever it may. Be in. Your past. Situations of moving. For us. It was all of the. Above. It was saying goodbye to the place where I grew up. It was saying goodbye to an apartment we love. It was saying goodbye to friends, to family. Soon we will be. Saying. Farewell. To literally our home. Country. So there were a. Lot of emotions evolve involved and I wanted to say something on that note. That's just so funny. When I think about it. In the midst of all of this physical. Mental, and emotional chaos, I had. Two situations that were humbling ly. Comedic. When I was not trying to be funny, I was trying to be dramatic in how sad I was about leaving. So let me tell this story, because that's not going to make sense. So the night before we laughed. So we had the. Lease of our apartment. Was up on a Sunday. And so that Saturday night, which was our last night, literally staying in the apartment, I went. On a walk on my own. Right before dinner. Cal was still packing up some stuff and I said, hey, I'd really like to go out for. A walk. Just to kind of say goodbye to the neighborhood. Alone. I was going to do one of. My favorite loops around the. Neighborhood, and then I was going to end at our. Special. Little. Redwood site that I've talked about on this podcast. If you haven't heard, there's this little redwood. Grove behind this dentist building, about a five minute walk from our apartment. And Cal and I would sometimes go. To the trees separately or together just to hug the trees. To pray, to ask for. Guidance, to. Grant them gratitude. All. Sorts of stuff. And the trees were really. Just they give us a sense. Of. Peace whenever things were crazy. So that was my idea. I was going to go for this walk, probably listen. To some sad. Songs, and. Imagine that I am the, you know, dramatic main. Character in some. Terribly sad movie. Allow myself. To tear up on the. Walk, and then I would land. At the. Trees. Let myself. Sob. It out, and then I would. Go home, have dinner we'd eat on the. Floor and finish out our final night in our. Sweet little apartment. So that's what I wanted to do. Now this is what happened. So I went out for the walk and about ten minutes into the walk, I started noticing. Wow, these blue skies are starting to change. Pretty. Rapidly to this dark, moody. Gray cloudiness. That's interesting. I thought it was a beautiful day today, and as I keep going. It starts to gently sprinkle. And I think, okay, I mean, I. Don't have. Even a raincoat. On. I'm just in. I think I was in. Like a crop top. Leggings and just. A zip. Up jacket. But I thought, hey, I can deal with some sprinkle. you know, I'm still. Going on this long. Walk and then I'm going to end of the trees. And so on this walk, I am listening to sad music. I still remember, my gosh, the the emotional peak of this walk. I was listening to Josh Groban song You Raise Me Up. This is just such a beautiful song. I mean, whether you are. Christian, whatever you. Believe in, that is a beautiful song, even though it's a Christian song and I myself am not Christian, it's it's so touching. So I was listening to that, starting to tear up, thinking, oh, I can't wait to get to the trees and have my special. Moment with them. And just as I thought that as I was basking in myself, being the. Main character. Of this terribly sad drama. It started. To hail and. Thunder storm. And so I had even been texting Cal because he had first texted me when it started. To sprinkle, because apparently where I. Was, it was. Sprinkling. But back where our apartment was. Which was only, I don't know, a 15 20 minute. Walk from where I was. At that point. Cal texted me, said, oh my God, it is really coming down. I was like, oh, it's not here. I think I'm totally fine. Then it starts hailing and thunder storming and I'm like, what is going on? I mean, it had just been blue skies before that. I'm not even kidding. So I run to underneath these palm trees where I'm a little bit safe from the hail. And I'm texting him and I said, hey, you know, I think it'll be. I think it'll. Pass. I'll be. Fine. I'm going to wait here and then I'll. All, you know, walk home when it's gone. And he said, okay, what if you want. You know, I'm happy to come get. You. And I was like, no, no, no, I'm fine. Like, I really want to. Go on this walk. You know, I've been waiting to have this special emotional. Farewell. Solo walk with my home state. Crying with my Josh Groban. Music. I'm going to soak up every minute of this thing, and then it. Starts to hail even harder. I I'm not kidding. And I look at my weather app and it says it's not going to stop for a long time. And I'm like. Oh my God. And just then this car comes down the road and this woman rolls down the window and she said, sweetie, can I can I take you home? I'm off to CVS to get. Some hair product to dye my hair. Tonight. It's just me and the dog in the car. Do you live near here? Can I take you like you're you're stuck in the the hell? And at first I was. Like, oh no, thank you, I'm fine. She was like, no, really, I can take you if you're comfortable with it. And she did not give off weird vibes. She had. Total. Nurturing mom. Vibes. And so I got in the car and she was so sweet. We just had such a. Nice conversation. And I'm thinking. Oh my God. Of course this would happen. In the midst of my dramatic farewell moment that I had been dreaming of. It's cut. Short by. The reality of changing. Weather. And the reality that sometimes it life doesn't get to be. Dramatic in the way you want it to, and you just have to be driven home, and then you're just going to have dinner. And your little special farewell moment with the trees isn't going to happen. So I get in the car. We have such a nice. Conversation. And it. Was actually so. Synchronistic and meant to be. Because I started. Talking to her about. How, you know, tonight is my last night in. The apartment. I'm really sad, you know, I'm from. California. But my husband and. I are moving to Thailand. And she said, Thailand. My husband. And I did that when we. Were your. Age. I was like, what? She said? Yes. They were from, I think. Wisconsin and. When they were graduating. From, I think she was. Getting her masters. At Wisconsin and he was getting his Ph.D. they had graduated and they had both gotten jobs in California or we're going to. So they were going to move. Out to the Bay area. But they looked at each other and they said, hey, there's no time like the present. If we don't go off on the grand adventure we both always dreamed of, now it's not going to happen because we're just going to be swept up in life as we all are. And so they each packed one backpack, which is exactly what Cal and I are doing. And they hit the road and they traveled the world, but they mainly stayed in Southeast Asia and she even said, we loved it so much. It was the highlight of our entire lives. I mean, our favorite. Memories. Together are from that expedition that we are going to actually take our kids. To Bali soon because Bali, Indonesia was one of our favorite places. And I said, oh my gosh, that's where we did our honeymoon. That's essentially how we came up with this whole idea. We fell in love with Bali. And then fell in love with Southeast Asia as a whole. So anyway, it felt. Very. Synchronistic that even though my dramatic cry at the trees couldn't happen, I was picked up by this woman that was just an angel, not just an angel. In the way that she was driving me home in this terrible hail thunderstorm, but in. The way that she was sent. To reaffirm. You are on the right path. Sometimes you have to say goodbye to what you know. So that. You can. Discover what you. Don't. And so it was amazing just hearing. Her story and. Feeling like, okay, even though I'm sad, I've. Been tearing. Up on this walk. This is still so right. So I get home, you know, Cal and I have dinner. Finish out our night. And then. The. Next day was. Example. Number. Two of this beautiful. Dramatic thing that I wanted to happen. That didn't end up happening because as I said, sometimes, sometimes life is just a little too life. It's just a little too real. So the plan. For Cal. And I was that our very last night, that Sunday evening, even though we weren't staying overnight, we had to be out of the apartment that night. We were going to stay all day. We had a. Bunch. More packing to do, and then we were going. To go to our favorite Thai. Restaurant down the street to say goodbye to them. Because a long story short, I believe I've told this story on the. Podcast before, but that Thai. Restaurant. Was the reason why Cal and I lived in the city that we lived in in the Bay area because. My mom. Cal, and I had been out. For dinner one night. We had essentially stumbled upon. This Thai restaurant. After dinner. I said, hey, do you. Guys want to go for a walk? We stepped outside. First thing we. Saw was an apartment building. That was the number. Three, three, three. And Cal looked at me and he said, oh man, we're going. To live here, aren't we? And I said, you bet, because three, three, three is my special number. It pops up. Whenever I'm on the right path. Or. Kind of sending me guidance. It's magical. But we kept walking and as we were walking around the downtown on. This poppin Friday night, we just fell in love. With that little city's downtown. And so we decided to live there. So literally, the reason we lived where we. Did was because of this Thai restaurant. But we had also become such good. Friends with the owners. It was owned by this. Adorable. Soul really. Sweet. Warm, nurturing. Compassionate Thai family who had been in. The Bay area for. Decades. At that point. The food was amazing. It was one. Hundred percent. Organic. They had a ton of vegan options, and we went. There for pretty. Much every. Milestone. Or celebratory dinner. We went. There the very first night. That. We stayed in our apartment. Together. The day after our wedding, because the day after our wedding, we still had some family in town. This is two years. Ago, and so we went to dinner. At this. Favorite Thai restaurant where some of our family members, and it was the first night in the apartment. So long story short. You can see why it was going to be this beautiful. Big celebratory. Dramatic thing. That we were going to. Go to. This Thai restaurant. One last time, say goodbye. To the owners. Enjoy our favorite yellow curry. One final. Time, and then guess. What? So it's that Sunday night. And we're ready for dinner and for whatever. For whatever. Reason, I thought. I'm going to look on Google just to make sure that. Their hours haven't changed. Or anything. And I realize. Based on Google that is, oh, it's Easter today. They're closed. And so we couldn't go to our beloved Thai restaurant. And in both of these scenarios, it really was comedic. It's like. The universe. Is all saying, yeah, I know you want this big. Dramatic. Farewell. Sendoff. But sometimes life is just going to be life and it's not all going to go your way and you just have to laugh it off. So that's what we did. We laughed it off. And then as we. Drove to Cal's. Dad's house that night where we were staying that that evening. we just. Went to a random Thai restaurant in our neighborhood that we'd never been. To. And we literally. Just ate curry in the. Car. We both burned our mouths. Because it was the freaking. Hottest. I mean. Temperature, hottest curry I've ever had. In my entire life. So it was just, so meant to be, you know, I do have to mention that. That Sunday, Cal and I went to the trees together, and I got to have my farewell cry with the trees. And, Cal actually gifted the trees some of the rocks and. Like, seeds and things. But he's collected over the years. He always liked collecting little stones and boulders and things. So he had, gifted them to the trees and I gifted the trees my tears in gratitude. So we ended up having a beautiful sendoff. But I. Just had to bring up those stories. Because I just see them as these humbling comedic moments. That. Sometimes, most of the time, we can be. The main character of our lives. And our lives can be these beautiful, dramatic, magical things. But sometimes when. You're wanting. To have this beautiful. Cry at the trees. A hailstorm is going to hit. Sometimes when you're going to have this beautiful. Farewell at your favorite Thai restaurant right before you embark on your adventure to. Thailand. The restaurant will be closed. So I just wanted to bring that up. Because those moments are just. Laughable and very humbling. So with all. Of that in mind, I wanted. To touch a little. Bit on the topic of change because as you can probably imagine, I just talked a lot about the chaos that. We've had over the last. Few weeks moving. But, We've also just had so. Much change in our lives recently because. We moved. Out of our apartment in the Bay. Area and then for, one day, I guess a day and a half, we stayed with Cal's dad, who also lives in the Bay Area of California, but a different, different part. He's closer to the coast. So we stayed with. Him, and then we. Flew to the East. Coast to be with Cal's mom and stepdad for a few days, and then. We drove. A handful. Of hours from there to where. My parents live on the East Coast. So I had actually calculated in less than a week, I think it was five. Or six. Days. We had. Stayed in. Four different locations, and three of them were in. Different states. So that's. Pretty. Wild. And whenever I have experiences like that where I am just surrounded by change and chaos and nothing is normal, nothing is routine. Nothing is what my body has come to expect. I have. To. Create a sense of normalcy for myself, because my environment is not going to give it to me. So I wanted to tell you my top three tips. On how to find a sense of consistency and normalcy. And it's all going to be okay when a. Either everything. Is changing around you. Or b it. Feels like nothing is going to be okay. So these are. My three tips. Tip number one. Is actually to stick. To your normal. Routines. Whether you are quote unquote a routine person or not, a routine person. We all do. Have routines, even if you are the. Least. Routine person ever. For example. I know my mom is totally. Not a routine person. But she still finds so much peace having. Her morning. Coffee. Then. She likes every day to be different, which. Is. Phenomenal and fun. But that morning coffee time. Is her special. Time. And so. Whatever your routine. Is. Whether it is a morning walk, whether you like. To. Exercise in the. Evenings or in the mornings, whatever you like. To do, the things that keep you sane at. Home, take them on the road with you. I mean take them on the road. As in, if you're in a situation like. Kalani right now where we're. Constantly changing locations, environments, states, homes, families, surroundings, but stick. To your normal routines when everything feels like it's crazy. Because those things will ground you. So for me personally. No matter where I am in the world, this will be true even when we touch ground in Thailand. In a couple of months, Cal and I start every. Single morning. With. Lemon water or lemon honey water, depending on how we're feeling. And it's just a great way to. Kick start your. Digestion. Get yourself rehydrated after essentially a 12 hour fast where you've been sleeping and have not been. Consuming liquids. Hydration. And it just makes. You feel really. Really good. It starts your day off right? So we always. Start with our massive water bottle. Of our lemon honey water. And then I like to go. For a. Walk. And then I do my morning workout. Then I shower, I eat breakfast, I get on with my day. And so even when my workout doesn't look the same as it does at home, if I'm in a home that. Or an Airbnb or a hotel or whatever. That doesn't have the. Dumbbells. I'm used to. Whatever. Like I get down and I. Do push ups. I do squats using body weights or holding books for a little extra weight. So there. Are always ways to keep. Your routine. Consistent, to help yourself feel grounded and safe. And. Normal. No matter what kind of environment you're in. Granted, there might be some days where it's off, like when Cal and I are. On our 20. Two. Hours of. Flying to Thailand. You know, I might not get to do my, Normal. Pilates in the airplane, but. You get my point. So tip number. One. Is stick. To your normal. Routines. Tip number two is find little. Pockets of stillness in your everyday life. I have found over the last couple of weeks that. Even I'll be honest, sometimes I'll just go to. The bathroom and as I'm sitting on the toilet, I just put my phone. Down for a second. And I take a. Few deep. Breaths and I realize that the world is not spinning as quickly as it feels. Like it is for me. That is just my. Own world, my own thoughts, my. Own life right now. And when I find those pockets of silence and stillness. I remember more. Oh, like life isn't this. Chaotic for everyone right now. The world. Is still. Turning slowly. The earth is still on its right. Axis, following the same. Orbit. As it always does. It's all going. To be okay. And I think when we take those moments to find a little stillness and silence. We remember that part of the. Chaos is just the chaos within our own heads. The chaos between our two ears. And so finding truly. Even 30s. To just maybe. Close your eyes. And take one breath. It's in those moments that you. Remember. It's not as crazy as you think it is, and it's all. Going to. Be okay. Just breathe. It's going to be all right. So that's. My tip number two. To find pockets of stillness and silence every single day. And then. Tip number three. Is to talk. To yourself like you're a child. What I mean by this is that throughout this chaotic transition time, I parent myself. I talk to myself like I'm a kid. To remind. Myself that it's all going to be okay. I talked to myself about, you know, what I need to do before I can relax. I talk to myself about what I think will make me feel better. So, for. Example, I might say, hey, Dave, I know there's a lot going on right now, but every thing is okay. Everything is in order. You've just landed in X location. You'll be here for two days. This is what we have going on during this time. You're going to do the best you can and nothing more than that. And then after that. We're going to. Move on to this location. So just talk to. Yourself like you're a. Kid, you know, tell yourself what's going on. What you need, what's happening. grant. Yourself. What you. Want as well. In these times of chaos, if you need an extra piece of chocolate like you let your five year old self have the piece of chocolate, it's okay. Life can be hard sometimes, and it's okay to treat yourself. And allow yourself. To just feel a little bit safer. Having that piece of chocolate or, I don't know, having a special drink that you don't always let yourself have. So tip. Number three. Is talk. To. Yourself like you're a kid. And then I. Have just a quick. Bonus tip. So I guess. Bonus. Tip or tip number four. If you. Are. Changing locations as Cal and I are, because I know not all chaos means that you are moving or changing locations, but sometimes it is when you are changing locations. I once heard this. Amazing, amazing advice from a spiritual teacher that I love and she said. Whenever you. Land in a new place, introduce yourself to the land. Tell her who you are, where you come from. What you need, what you like, what you. Already notice about her, what you love about her already. And it helps you just get. Familiar with the. Land and in kind of a. Spiritual, energetic. Emotional way. It lets her get. To know you as well. So I haven't done this yet because we've kind. Of been on the road, to various places, as you. Can hear. But I definitely want to do this soon, and especially when we land in Thailand, I'm going to say, hi, my name is Devon. I'm an American, and I'm so happy to be here. You know, I come from this kind of lineage. These are the things I love. These are the things I'm looking. Forward to experiencing on your land. Thank you for having. My husband and I, you know, etc., etc.. So I think that's a beautiful bonus tip. Number four, which. Is just talk to the land on which you've landed and introduce. Yourself like you're a new friend because you are. So those are my four tips. Really quickly I will run through them again. So remember these. Are the four tips. To find a sense. Of. Normalcy and consistency when life is. Chaotic or you are in the midst of massive change. Tip number one. Is stick. To your normal. Routine, or at least as. Close as you can get. Tip number. Two is. To find pockets of stillness and silence every single day, even if that means taking one. Deep breath when you are. Sitting on the toilet. Number three talk to yourself like you are a child. Tell yourself it's going to be okay. Tell yourself what's. Going on, the things to expect, and that it'll all be back in. Order. Soon. And then. Bonus tip. Number four if you are changing. Locations as I am currently, is. To. Introduce. Yourself to the. Land on which you've just arrived. So those are my. Tips for change. And, chaos essentially. And then. I just wanted to round. Out with one last quick. Story. Slash lesson. Which is yet another lesson on surrendering. And I know. I've talked quite. A bit about the. Power of surrender. In this podcast, and it. Just comes up. Time and time again. So for me recently, the very first day. That Carl and I got to my parents house, or I guess the day after we arrived on a Friday night, and then that Saturday was. Our first full. Day. Here. And it was my dad's 60th birthday. So it was a big milestone. Birthday and we were going to have a little bit of a celebration for him. Just for some. Family and a. Cake. And I was so excited to. Celebrate. Him. We had gotten him this some awesome gifts, had. Written him a card. I had a special. Outfit picked out for this. Little birthday celebration. And then that. Saturday morning. I woke up feeling. Just kind of queasy. I thought, oh, I don't know, maybe it'll just go away. And then long story short. I ended up with. The worst and longest. Lasting stomach bug I have ever had. Where. I was in complete misery. For 13. Hours. Straight. And when. I've had stomach bugs. In the past, I feel like often. You know, it. Passes in the morning once I've kind. Of done my business. And, then you. You feel. Tired, but you're. Okay. Oh, no. I mean. Literally, it was. Constant. For 13 hours. It lasted from 8 a.m. in the morning. It was. Really even. Before that I couldn't sleep from like 5 a.m. on, but like 8 a.m. in the morning until around 9 p.m. at night when it had finally passed. And I learned. So many lessons. In that time. And I think this. Is true of. Not just when you have illness, but even if you are. Injured, or. If something in your life isn't going your way. Even it's just. Another. Lesson. In surrender. And I was talking to Carl the other day about how. I said, wow, it's so funny that of all people, you know. That I did not get. To. Celebrate my. Dad and wear my cute little outfit that I'd. Planned for this little. Family get together. And I. Love. Celebration. It's like this whole podcast is me celebrating life. I love turning people on. I love. Celebrating. People. I love people getting together. I love dressing up. I love going out. I love celebrating with cake. And the fact that of all people, I was literally on the floor. I did. Not move. For 13 hours other than. Between the bathroom and laying down on the. Floor right outside of the bathroom. It just felt so ironic. And he said, yeah, I was honestly really impressed that you didn't whine. About it at all. Like you, you were totally cool about. Having to miss out on. Your dad's. Celebrations. You were home alone for a lot of that day as we were out celebrating and I said. I mean, I. Acted that way because there was. Nothing I could do. It was completely outside of my control. So what's the point. In complaining, whining, even being upset? Sure, I. Felt bummed, but because it was out of my control. I couldn't even. Gather enough strength to. Feel really. Upset about it. It was like, well, this is what it is. So I think. Whether. You. Are sick or injured and. You can't. Engage in the typical physical activity that you usually enjoy. It's the perfect. Time to practice. Your surrender muscles. And just let it go. Let go of the control because there is no control. And that's true. Every day. In life. But I think it's heightened during times of let's say, illness or injury. And so not just that, but I. Also felt between the waves of nausea, I felt almost. The sense of gratitude. Where I. Realized. When you are sick. Especially. You're kind of in this weird portal. Like you go to another dimension, another realm. Where you are hyper present. Because pain demands presence. Discomfort. Demands presence. And so in our. Normal day to day lives, we can be distracted by 1,000,001 things. We can be multitasking. We have. This really. High. Threshold. For stimulation, where maybe you have the TV on. And you're scrolling on your phone. And you kind of. Have a YouTube video up on your computer, and the microwave is going and someone's talking to you. There's so much. Stimulation. But in times of sickness, I think honestly. Especially in times of nausea, like what. I had on Saturday, I couldn't listen to anything. I couldn't watch anything. It would make me dizzy. And so I kid you not, when I say for 13 hours. This girl. Talking. Who usually loves listening to podcasts. Watching educational. Videos, talking to anyone. And everyone, I have 13 hours more. Or less of silence, and luckily I have been blessed with an. Incredibly. Caretaking Husband. Who. Sat right outside the bathroom door. With me. For. Probably seven. Hours. And then when I was just on the ground, laying. On my side. Like whimpering with not feeling so gross. He just sat there in silence, being with me. And that made all of the difference. For an extrovert who. Couldn't really. Talk but still wanted to be around people. But other than that, in the evening when. My family left. To go. Celebrate, my dad, I laid on the. Floor, staring. Up at the ceiling. For hours. It wasn't until late that night that I could finally put on a movie. And when I did, it was like, oh, the simple joys of being able to watch something on my computer. But in that. Weird portal where I. Actually just had to find peace and presence. With. 13 hours of stillness and silence. Oh my gosh, I mean, to my conscious. Waking self. That is. Misery. Itself. But somehow when. We enter that. Portal. Our needs change and our abilities change. And so we have. A lower threshold for. Stimulation and. We're actually more. Comfortable in the stillness and. The silence. Because you're. Just focusing on the. Pain and wishing it to go away. I mean, I was. Literally praying to God in the bathroom. I was like, please take this away. This is so terrible. So anyway, just a weird side note, but I wanted to share that as well because I feel like it goes. Along with everything we're talking. About. Just finding peace during times of pain and hardship. Finding gratitude even. When things are hard. Gratitude for the. Chaos that is my. Life right now. Gratitude for the fact that my body was fighting hard to get me back to homeostasis. Gratitude for my husband that was sitting right outside of the bathroom door, just. Sitting in silence. Think he was playing a golf game on his phone while I was just dying inside. So it just. Brings a sense of gratitude. For the small. Things again. And also if you're injured. As well, the second you can finally walk. On that bad knee. Or. Use that bad wrist. It feels like life is so magical again. And it really is. It's magical during the hardships too. I mean, I was finding moments of gratitude in the midst of. My hell vacation. so anyway. I think that's all I. Wanted to say on that, but I will. Wrap up this by just sharing. That I feel like Cal and I, during. This weird. Transitionary time where we. Are hopping between. Our family's houses before going to Thailand, it feels like we are in the. Limbo. Portal before. Landing at our final destination in. And I found this to be such a great analogy for so many things in life. Every time Cal and I travel. On airplanes, so. We go to. An airport. I always say to him. I feel like airports are truly like. A transition portal that. For us in California, for example. We went from being in our apartment, this place that we know and love to just being a nameless stranger in a sea. Of strangers at the airport where. In that moment no one has a home, no one has a destination. You're just in the present moment where you're one of the strangers in this in-between portal. And then finally. After hours at the airport and hours on the plane portal. You land at a destination. And it's like you've you've. Earned your right to be. There. And I. Feel that we are in the limbo portal right. Now. And so I wanted to ask you. Where in your life. Do you feel like you're in the limbo portal? Where in your life are you. Sensing a lot of change or a need. For. Transition? Where are you in limbo? And then on top of that. Where in. Your life do you need. A sense of constancy? Where are things a. Little bit to chaos. I can all over the place. Where can you bring yourself. A sense of normalcy? And where in your life. Do you need to. Surrender? Because we all have those things that we hold on to for dear life. Those areas of life where we. Need a. Sense of control. And maybe it's time to just lighten your grip a little bit. And when. You surrender. And when. You bring yourself. A. Sense of normalcy. Constancy and. Peace in times of chaos and hardship, that's when life gets magical again. So with all of that. Story. Time and. Those tips, tricks and hard earned lessons. I will wrap up today's episode. I hope you enjoyed it as I hope you enjoy every week's episode. If you did, please, please, please. Share it with a family member or friend. And please. Feel free to rate and review. The podcast. Anywhere you get your. Podcasts, whether it is Spotify, Apple Podcasts, etc.. You can also. Follow me on YouTube at Devin or Shel Hein, where I have the video. versions of all of these episodes. And. Of course, you can. Follow me on Instagram too, which is Devin. Underscore Rochelle underscore. And. It's all magic podcast. Okay. I think those are all the logistics I adore. You. I see you, I am sending you feelings of peace and constancy, normalcy. I'm sending you. Sweet surrender, my. Friend. And until next week. Good bye for now, my friends.