Lauren White Owner of Forever K9

As a single mother, our guest never anticipated her path would intertwine with the paws and hearts of dogs in such a profound way. Now, a decade into her career as a dog trainer, she unveils the parallels between her craft and parenting, and how an unexpected mentorship with Cesar Milan reshaped her world view. Step into the tranquil future of dog training facilities, where she's crafting a seven-acre sanctuary in Leesburg that promises to redefine the human-canine connection.

This episode is a treasure trove of narratives that celebrate the intuitive dance between man and his best friend. As we take you through heartwarming stories like Addy's – a dog with a remarkable sixth sense for medical conditions – we expose the deep currents of intuition that run between us and our furry companions. These tales underscore the life-altering transformations that ripple outward from the trust and respect forged with our dogs, extending into the fabric of our personal lives.

Embarking on this journey, we'll share nuggets of wisdom from our guest's dog training philosophy, where silent exercises and non-verbal communication reign supreme. Discover the delicate balance of affection and discipline that forges a healthy hierarchy and nurtures good behavior in our pets. Whether you're a seasoned dog owner or contemplating bringing a new pup into your life, this conversation will leave you with a fresh perspective on the silent language of love we all speak with our four-legged family members.

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:31

So have you ever done like a podcast or anything? I believe it's my first, your first? Yes, it'll be fun. I think I'll see.

Speaker 2: 0:39

Oh, it's telling us, it's, so out of my comfort zone.

Speaker 1: 0:41

Perfect, tell me a little bit about yourself.

Speaker 2: 0:47

Well, I am. This is my 10th year running a business and I kind of fell into it by accident with dog training. So I'm a mom of some amazing kiddos. I have an 18-year-old, a 15-year-old, and then I also have a 15 and a 14-year-old bonus kids who just love them all to death. So busy, very busy, with teenagers and dogs. So today's school is off, so they're all home, Everybody's home. So my oldest one, she's down in Nashville enjoying the snow down there in college.

Speaker 1: 1:23

So yes, Tell me about the dog training business.

Speaker 2: 1:29

Gosh, it was just sort of happened upon me by accident. It would be 10 years in March that my dad said to me do you want me to? He found out that Cesar Milan was auctioning off a five-day course out in California for dog training and he said do you want me to bid on it for your birthday? Because I had a Boston terrier who her nickname was Rotten Beast, because she was her name.

Speaker 2: 1:57

She would answer to it. Her real name was Adi Mae, but she answered to Rotten Beast because at this point she was seven years old, but she was still just out of control, super wild, sweet as can be. But when I took her out, we won the auction and I took her out and I realized it was not her, it was me. So it always happens, yes, and I actually looked at her and was like I'm so sorry, it's not you, it's me. You're like I am the Rotten Beast.

Speaker 2: 2:20

I am I will now take the name, but it just was very life-changing because I realized how much our energy affects the dogs, which then it also is the same for people around you. So I came home and I realized this is what I wanted to do with my life, and become a dog trainer, which was perfect timing because my kids were about to be in school full-time at that time and I just started learning from all these different trainers traveling the country. My parents were amazing and watching my girls. I was newly divorced, so single mom and, like I said, my parents, I owe them so much because they just would step in and help whenever needed.

Speaker 2: 3:04

And I was about three months into this and my daughter, who was mine at the time, she randomly walked into her room where I was and she said, mom, you're a much better mom now that you're a dog trainer. And she turned around and walked out and I stood there completely like I felt like I had been slapped in the face a little bit and then I realized what she meant, because I realized, through dogs, that our energy affects those around us. And I realized that my dogs were totally out of whack and unbalanced because I was and I was in a state of chaos, and so when I realized that it translated to my kids as well, my parenting was better. I was more focused, you know. We were more structured, and my daughter at nine years old picked up on that. So that was very affirming and validating. But I was doing the right thing, and so this business has just kind of grown leaps and bounds. We just broke ground last week on a facility.

Speaker 1: 4:06

Congratulations. Thank you.

Speaker 2: 4:08

It's going to be so, so wonderful. I've been doing this out of my house. We actually put an addition onto my house. I've outgrown that. This is going to be able to house 40 dogs. During the day they will be out in a training room having very structured activities, socialization time, rest time during the day and then we're going to come back out in the afternoon and do it all again and it's not going to be like your typical kennel where dogs are barking all day and overstimulated. And you know I've been through a lot of those kennels and I don't know how people can handle working there and you know that's not enjoyable for the dogs either. So we're going to make this a very happy, calm facility.

Speaker 1: 4:56

You have a very calm energy, even just right now, sitting in front of you. You're very like peaceful. That was not me about 10 years ago.

Speaker 2: 5:05

I've come a long way but it's been amazing. It's been this whole process of building this facility and navigating the county which has it's taken years. It's been very, very frustrating process. My dad, who is in the commercial development side, he's been a huge help in this process as well. I'm even getting my daughter in on it, who's 15. She wants to be an interior designer, so she's been helping me pick the siding and the stone and the roof and whatever else, and she's already picking the colors for inside the kennels. Where's it going to be? Off at Gleesville Road in Leesburg?

Speaker 1: 5:44

OK.

Speaker 2: 5:45

So I'm seven acres Nice Wooded, so it's going to feel like a very country home setting and you don't have to worry about barking yeah. No, and while they're not going to be barking, they won't be barking, but we are had 40 dogs.

Speaker 1: 5:59

You might know we're not.

Speaker 2: 6:00

I mean, I've had a lot of dogs at my house.

Speaker 1: 6:05

No, I've never been at a shop. Yeah, so I have one dog or two dogs but one specifically, and everybody knows, everybody knows I'll come over and help you. She's a hound, she does like to bark.

Speaker 2: 6:17

Yes, they will let you know and they'll let you know. They're there for sure. But a lot of it is keeping stress levels down, keeping them mentally stimulated. And in fact, when we were originally trying to get approval from the county, we went in front of the board and at the time we had a lawyer with us and he actually said no stress equals no bark. And I was like that's a t-shirt, and I do Now. I made t-shirts Because a lot of these dogs, when they're stressed and they don't have any way to mentally stimulate themselves, you start to get the barking and the barking and the barking and it just continues and then the other ones feed off of it and it becomes a big party. But we have it. So where the kennels are going to be set up, they're not going to be facing each other, they're going to have their own little private quarter, a little small, yeah.

Speaker 2: 7:10

So it's going to be like their own little apartment. There you go, they're going to have their own little condo. So when they are resting they're not looking at each other and we're stimulating each other. It's like, hey, let's join in the fun. So, yeah, it's been quite a process and I've learned a lot on what it takes to try to get your small business off the ground here in Loudoun County.

Speaker 1: 7:36

What have been some of the biggest lessons that you've learned so far that you could share with listeners?

Speaker 2: 7:41

Nothing is as easy as it sounds. A lot of it was. You really do have to keep after it. We did have the whole COVID issue, which slowed it down, but after that it was getting our site plans approved. It was they would kick it back and say fix this, so we'd fix it. And they kick back and say fix this, and we fix that. And that was another time and so finally it took us.

Speaker 2: 8:14

Thankfully, caleb Kirshner's office stepped in and helped us and we got everything approved after that but you can't just sit back and you really do have to stand up and speak up for yourself.

Speaker 1: 8:30

Why do you think it's so difficult?

Speaker 2: 8:32

I don't know, I don't know. I would love to delve into that a little bit more, and apparently I'm not the only one I have heard. I have too. That's why I was asking if you had any insights on that. I really don't. I do know that they were new rules were being implemented in between us returning the site plans, but at that point I think we should have been grandfathered into old rules yeah.

Speaker 2: 9:04

But we are where we are and I think the universe had a good plan for us, because my daughters are all grown and a little bit more self-sufficient than had been pushed there a couple of years ago, and I've met some really great people in the industry who are going to help me start off on the right foot, and I have an amazing business coach who has gone through this whole process before and she's really guiding me on how to do things right the first time, so that's good. Yeah, so it's nice to have a guide. Yes, it's going to be a lot of high quality dog boarding and training.

Speaker 1: 9:46

I was going to say yeah, tell me a little bit about the business, like your philosophy, what you're going to offer there.

Speaker 2: 9:51

We are going to offer training, we're going to have boarding and we're going to have some grooming. It is going to be a little bit more exclusive in that our training clients are going to be those who are allowed to board there. If you have not trained with us, we will do an evaluation to make sure that your dog would be a good fit for our program. My philosophy is relationship first. If you don't have the proper relationship to where your dog trusts and respects you as a leader, it's not going to work out.

Speaker 2: 10:30

A lot of times I just see how much we spoil our dogs and there's nothing wrong with that. But we haven't built that foundation first and so once we tweak those those things, you know, we really see a huge change in how the dog sees us and then everything just falls into place. You know, I definitely spoil my dogs. We are at that point in our relationship where we can get away with those things. I do have one who takes it a little too far if we spoil him too much, but you know it's about creating boundaries and rules and structure and things like that so that the dog has that trust and confidence in us. It's just a. It's something that I've learned along the way. That has made a huge difference, both in my relationship with dogs and people.

Speaker 1: 11:31

Yeah, it's funny that you know the animals as we're training them dogs in this specific case. We always run beasts, think it's them, yes, and then in reality it's like wait, no, actually it's me, it really is. Or the and the environment there in her.

Speaker 2: 11:48

Yeah, what was interesting about Addy rotten beast? She was so intuitive on what our family needed before we even knew my younger or my older daughter. When she was about three years old, she started having staring spells and so we were trying to figure out what was going on. And we found out, you know, she was having silent seizures in her sleep. Seizures, yeah. And what we didn't understand was Addy may knew well before we did. Every night, after Avery would go to sleep, Addy would go and pick a toy and bring it and lay it on her bed and sleep with her until two or three in the morning, and then she'd come back to my bedroom. And when we started delving into what was going on with my daughter, we found out through the overnight EEGs that it wasn't until two or three in the morning that her body finally went into REM sleep, and that's when the dog left. And once we figured out what was causing her seizures, which happened to be gluten, we took that out of her diet. She stopped having seizures and the dog didn't go back in there anymore. That is insane, yeah. So she taught me to listen.

Speaker 2: 13:10

Our dogs are constantly telling us stuff. We just don't quite understand it. So they're training us? They really are. Well, yes, A lot of times. Yeah, it really.

Speaker 1: 13:19

She really really taught me that dogs know so much and we just don't always know how to interpret it yeah, or, like you said, respond to it, oh, sorry, the lights are kind of getting me In terms of which, by the way, you got to tell me some good gluten bread, gluten free bread. If you've already been through on trying to find some good gluten free bread, in terms of like experiences that you've had with your clients, I don't know who do you consider clients the dogs or the people?

Speaker 2: 13:57

People. So for a lot of dog trainers aren't necessarily people, people.

Speaker 1: 14:04

People, people.

Speaker 2: 14:05

Yeah, I am. I love people, I love dogs. I have become very close with a lot of my human clients. You know some don't even have dogs anymore and we still get together, we still go do things, we talk all the time. I've had clients call me and let me know that their dog passed away before they've even told their children. You know I've gotten immediate texts that my dog has cancer. You know my dog has a heart defect and you know all these things and it's, it's very humbling. It's an honor that these people choose to share these personal life experiences. They trust you, obviously. Yeah, you're part of the family.

Speaker 1: 14:49

Like it or not, and they're part of my family.

Speaker 2: 14:51

You know it really means a lot. There are some of my biggest cheerleaders who are so supportive and you know what we're doing right now and a lot of great clients who are constantly referring me. You know, it just really means a lot, yeah.

Speaker 1: 15:06

No, that's amazing. What are some of those transformation stories that you've?

Speaker 2: 15:12

Well, sometimes it's more seeing the transformation in the human people, yeah yeah, which then translates to their dog. I have had a lot of clients trust me with some very personal things that they're going through, you know. So sometimes I feel like we have therapy sessions, you know, and so seeing my clients become, you know, stronger, independent, seeing their dogs transform. You know I had one reach out to me who recently we did one lesson, you know the dog was running over her, the dog was dragging her down the street, all these things and we talked about, you know, changing just certain little nuances through their everyday life. And she reached out to me recently and just said how great things were going and she can walk her dog and you know the dogs pretty much was bullying her through the house and you know she took that back and gained that confidence to do that.

Speaker 2: 16:08

So you know those are great success stories and to be able to take the information I gave her after one lesson and you know implement it, see it making a change in her relationship with him.

Speaker 1: 16:21

I'm sure it was big. Yeah, so that's huge. Yeah, I remember I had my dog trained and then when he came back to us it was training me. Yes, yes, and it was like even as much as just how you're holding the leash, if you're gripping it and you're nervous like that energy.

Speaker 1: 16:49

That energy, which I thought was insane. Right, that they can pick up on that, and a lot of the philosophies you've said, where it's like you know your dogs are not people In terms and I'm not saying you have this exact philosophy, but it was like you know, you've got to treat your dog like a pet, meaning like you've got to have that dominance Honor the dog for who they are. Yes, and it was just this whole shift because, like, yeah, I was raised with, like you know, spoiler dog and the dog runs the show until the dog is running all over you.

Speaker 2: 17:29

Right, and then it's like cute anymore. No, no, no no, you know I equate a lot of to. You know I tell people. You know we have this expectation of our dog to do X, y, z, but we've never taught the dog what it is and how to do these things. So I mean it's like telling your kid you better go read this. You know novel, but I never taught you ABC and that's. And then I'm going to punish you for not being able to read this book.

Speaker 1: 17:56

Yeah, or they don't know how to like you, don't know how to communicate with them in a way that they can understand.

Speaker 2: 18:03

Right, and you know, one thing that we see so much of is people just way over, talk to the dog and everything you know we've got to talk, talk, talk, talk, talk. And the dog just hears that and it creates an anxiety of like I don't know what you want from me, I don't know what you want me to do. And then you just see the dog, you know, getting amped up and it, you know, it just it's sort of a vicious cycle. So you know, just, it's kind of a fun little activity. Don't talk to your dog for 24 hours and see just how much your you know your dog listens to body language, you know, and because that's how they communicate with each other, as through body language first, yeah, so it's, it's just no, that's fine.

Speaker 1: 18:46

Yeah, that would be a fun activity. Yeah, just don't even say anything. Yeah, they're smarter than we think they are. Yeah, much smarter.

Speaker 2: 18:55

And we tend to complicate them. Yeah, they're simple beings, but we complicate them. And I say don't humanize your dog, but do treat them like kids. Yeah, rules, boundaries, structure, routine, follow through and you're going to see a huge change in their behavior.

Speaker 1: 19:12

You probably already kind of went through, but can you give me like three quick tips that you wish dog owners knew about their pets, to make them happier?

Speaker 2: 19:26

Well, honoring your dog for who they are is number one. You know, I think we're so quick to bring a dog into our home, whether it's, you know, a puppy or a rescued senior, you know whatever, and just say you know, here, have at it, you know, and this is your new palace. And rather than treating it like a child who's just learning to walk, and we, you know, minimize their space until they understand the rules and then, over time, guess what? Here you can have, you know, the palace, the palace. You just have to earn it. You know, I think, too, the other thing that we way overdo for dogs is affection. It's constant affection, affection, affection, without having to earn it. Sometimes it's like walking around giving a child 100 bucks every five minutes, yeah, you know, and at the end of the week they're going to Spoiled the whole thing.

Speaker 1: 20:20

They're going to want $200.

Speaker 2: 20:22

Yeah, but you know, I mean, it's fascinating to see when we're just constantly giving, giving, giving, without having them earn it. You know, just as humans like, we feel better when we earn something and we work for something rather than constantly being given I agree, given something. So you know. And the other thing is to again honor your dog for who they are, give them that exercise that they need, not physically but mentally as well, and you know that kind of goes back to earning. You know, privileges and affection and all sorts of different things. But you know just, I think having them earn these things really goes a long way. And you know, gives them.

Speaker 2: 21:09

What are some quick ways to do that? So you know for I like to reference my minneasi that we have at home we can't just give him everything, because if you give this dog an inch, he takes a mile, you know. So a lot of times if we have to invite him over for affection when he is deserving of it, you know. And so, having him also earn his whatever we take him for bike rides, we got to mentally exercise this little guy. We make him sit and work for food, like we'll make him. Sometimes I'll make him even search out food and nose work, but you know, earning things rather than constantly giving and giving and giving.

Speaker 2: 21:58

Now we do have another dog at home and you can give her everything and anything and she's she will listen and she won't, you know, misbehave, yeah, but this guy, having him earn and work for things really goes a long way for sure. So you know, it does kind of give them a pride in what they do. The other thing is we have I don't mind dogs being up on the furniture with us, but again, they have to earn it and be deserving of it, because elevation for a dog, physically, is an elevation in status, so the higher up they are, the more.

Speaker 1: 22:33

That's why they're always trying to jump on the couch. Yeah, they're just behind you and sit up and perch on the back of the couch. They're like I am your master Right, so you know for this particular dog.

Speaker 2: 22:44

it's kind of like, all right, you've got to be invited and then you have to be, you know, calm and not climbing all over us and you know. So things like that. Just, you know, just, are you deserving of affection at this moment? Because if I give it to them at the wrong time, again I'm giving affection to the wrong state of mind. You get what you pet, so whatever you know you are giving affection to at that moment.

Speaker 1: 23:07

Yeah, they're going to keep doing more of that.

Speaker 2: 23:08

Yeah, they're going to keep doing it, and a lot of times we give affection, trying to stop a behavior. We're like oh, calm down, let me pet you, let me hold you, let me pick you up, whatever. And so we end up nurturing the wrong state of mind of the dog when we're actually trying to stop that behavior. You know. So, being well aware of that has gone on Actions and how it's actually helping or hurting your animal and how it's actually helping your animal's behavior.

Speaker 2: 23:35

Yeah, you know, one thing I've been really really trying to drill into people's head is if you don't like the behavior from your dog, stop and address it right then and there Don't keep going and doing whatever it is you're doing because in essence then you're rewarding that behavior at that moment. You know so. If the dog is getting super excited about mealtime and you're prepping it and dog keeps jumping and getting excited but you don't like that behavior, it will stop, wait for the dog to settle and then keep going and making your dog's dinner, you know.

Speaker 2: 24:09

So just stuff like that is, does yelling at your dog help? No, because then you're usually just joining in your dog's frenzy with the dog Anxiety levels. Yeah, I mean, on occasion, if you need to get you know, raise your voice to get the dog's attention. Yes, but sometimes I'll just stand there and I look at my dog like really I call it dad stink eye. You know when you used to get in trouble growing up and you get the dad stink eye. But you know, sometimes I will just look at are you done Okay?

Speaker 1: 24:40

now let's continue on, so it can be as simple and calming as that. Yeah, it's like you have to turn into a screen fist.

Speaker 2: 24:46

No, and that's what we ended up doing with. The dog is like they bark we scream at them, they bark louder, we scream louder.

Speaker 1: 24:53

And then you guys are both barking and screaming at each other, exactly, exactly, and that was like a little mini course in how to control your yeah.

Speaker 2: 25:03

It's a lot simpler than we make it, for sure. I just think we're so busy and so stressed out with so many other things and you know that we, it's just one more thing to add to our, our bucket of stuff to do. And, you know, trying to train our dog and really training should not be, you know, hours upon hours a day. So I'm going to say, take a few minutes here and there intentionally work with your dog and then, as you are living with your dog and those teachable moments come up. Stop, take the time to teach your dog what it is you want in that particular moment and then continue forward.

Speaker 1: 25:40

I will say, though, working with a professional trainer is also a very good idea in a lot of cases, especially for somebody who's never trained their dog before, and you're right on the verge of like, oh my gosh, I don't know if I can do this anymore. So professional trainers definitely go a long way, because it's not a skill set that everybody has right at the beginning, even though it is very easy.

Speaker 2: 26:05

Right, well, and it's like I could never teach my children all the things they need to learn. That's why there's teachers, that's right.

Speaker 1: 26:11

Well, I know because I got the books and I watched like the YouTube videos about how to do it. I was at like week two and I'm like it's not working Right.

Speaker 2: 26:22

Well, there's just so many. That's the other thing. There's just so many philosophies and so many different ways out there. Yeah, you know, and a lot of people will call and, you know, will interview me about coming out and working with their dog and they're like, well, what's your philosophy and what do you want to do? And I said, well, we have to find what works not only for the dog but for the human. Yeah, you know, and I, as I walk through a lot of this training with my clients, I will say how does this feel to you? Like, is it confusing? Do you understand it? Does this feel good? And you know, and if they're like, oh, I feel a little confused, then we work through that confusion because the dog will pick up on that.

Speaker 1: 26:58

Yeah.

Speaker 2: 26:58

And I don't want to leave their house with them feeling lost and confused. So finding what works for the human will translate to the dog.

Speaker 1: 27:10

Yeah.

Speaker 2: 27:10

Maybe be on the same page, right, right. So my training, I guess, is very fluid. You know, it depends on the dog, it depends on the human and depends on their relationship together.

Speaker 1: 27:22

So basically, the way I see it is like you help solidify a language for the human and the dog, because prior to humans talking one language, dogs talking another language and nobody understands each other.

Speaker 2: 27:37

Yes, it's like going to a foreign country and trying to communicate for sure.

Speaker 1: 27:42

For sure. What's one of the most rewarding things about what you've done so far?

Speaker 2: 27:47

I think it's seeing people's relationship with their dog. You know, my, one of my, my, my philosophy is creating healthy relationships between humans and canines. So seeing those healthy relationships come out of working with them is huge. You know I, if it takes only one session, great. You know, I'm not in this to drag it out. You know to. You know, keep making money from somebody.

Speaker 2: 28:18

I and I tell people that is like when you know they say, well, how many lessons will we need? And I said I don't know. It depends on the human, depends on the dog, it depends on how much work you put into it. But my goal is to empower the client to not need me as soon as possible. You know, I want them to feel that confidence that I felt, learning what I learned and moving forward with the relationship with my dog. You know, she, she passed back in 2020, but you know I was like that I look back at that relationship I had with her and I was like wow, like I mean that dog, she taught me so much and she gave me so much and and in the beginning I was not giving her anything, but by the end I was it was very reciprocal. It was such a, you know, amazing relationship I had with that dog. You know, and it's which I always find mind-blowing that we can have that kind of relationship with something. It doesn't even speak our language. You know totally different species.

Speaker 1: 29:19

Yeah, you know, pick up on that energy for a different language, for sure.

Speaker 2: 29:26

So I mean that to me is seeing that relationship grow with, is between client and dog is the best part of my job.

Speaker 1: 29:35

It's amazing, yeah. So, to kind of wrap it up, what's one piece of advice that you would tell people, whether it's business owners, canine owners, humans in general?

Speaker 2: 29:47

One thing that I learned very early on in this process with dog training is to trust your gut. I think as humans we are told to stuff our instincts aside. You get that funny feeling and people are like, no, you still have to. You know, just stuff it down. If I know your, your gut knows your instincts, know that's how dogs work. They, you know, work off of instinct and and so once you kind of tune into that as a human, it's pretty cool to work with your dog utilizing that and and again. That's another way to see your relationship grow. But you know I I think I have grown as a person. My confidence has soared. I I think overall I've become a much better person by trusting my gut and kind of going off instinct. So start to listen to your intuition. It's kind of help you both in life and with your relationship with your dog.

Speaker 1: 30:49

I love it. Thank you so much for being on the show. Thank you for having me.