Mai Tang - Real Estate Agent

From navigating the emotional labyrinth of real estate to the art of meaningful connection, Mai Tang joins us with an open heart, sharing her voyage from realtor to a beacon of growth in business development at Pruitt Title. We journey together through the highs and lows of setting boundaries for sanity's sake and the solace found in solo travel. Mai's tales of transformation remind us all that to serve others fully, we must first honor our own needs and embrace the quiet moments that refill our wells.

This episode peels back the curtain on the often glossy facade of social media, as we tackle its impact on authenticity and mental health. It's a candid exchange about the struggle to maintain realness amidst filters and feeds and the courage it takes to step back, breathe, and be true to oneself. In a world where personal branding can feel like a performance, we discuss finding your unique rhythm in attracting the right tribe, and I reflect on life's landmark moments that have sculpted my approach to living genuinely.

Wrapping up, we celebrate the beauty of crafting inclusive spaces where friendships can blossom and singles can find camaraderie. Listen to the behind-the-scenes magic of fostering these communities, from the 'You're a Local Besties' Facebook group to our broader ambitions that reach beyond the digital realm. And as we part, we bask in the glow of unexpected accolades, acknowledging that the work we pour into connection and self-care not only enriches our lives but touches the hearts of others in ways we never anticipated.

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Transcript

Building a Real Estate Community

Speaker 1 0:30

My name is Mai Tang and I am a licensed realtor here in the Northern Virginia area as well as I am, I also just transitioned into a business development and marketing role at Pruitt Title here in the area.

Speaker 2 0:44

Okay, and how did that come to be? Did you always know that you wanted to be a real estate agent?

Speaker 1 0:48

I don't know if I ever really thought I would want to be a real estate agent, but it just kind of came together and I think this transition recently really brings out the reason why I love being a real estate agent.

Speaker 2 1:03

Okay, and then, as far as marketing goes for your company, what are you currently doing to bring in new clients or to maintain your current ones that you have?

Speaker 1 1:11

I've been very fortunate over the last almost 13 years being in real estate, developing relationships with other local agents in the area that have become very near and dear to my heart, and so it's been really rewarding to be able to be on the other side of the transaction and really just help them create their own business, help them figure out how to build their business. That's very authentic to them and so that's just something that I have loved. It's just kind of a community that I have been building and it's just a lot more rewarding for me.

Speaker 2 1:44

Okay and then tell me a little bit about your company, what the difference is with the role that you used to have and the role that you currently transitioned into.

Speaker 1 1:52

So before I was just strictly buying, selling real estate, helping clients buy and sell real estate. Now real estate agents and my colleagues are now my clients, and so that's very similar but very drastically different. So the clientele is different. However, the job is the same. I guess, if you want to say so, everything that I have learned over the years being in real estate has really helped me help my clients who are realtors now develop their own plan and their own business.

Speaker 2 2:32

And what do you think makes you stand out in the industry, in the real estate industry?

Speaker 1 2:36

I think it's just my whole intention ever is just to build a community, and because I do bring in that knowledge and experience of being in real estate for so long and just really doing what I'm helping. So I think that's what really sets me apart here. I don't want to say that there's competitors, but I think that just is what really sets me apart amongst you peers. Yeah, I don't want to say that either.

Speaker 2 3:07

Okay, let's hear you. I think what really sets me apart is a mango.

Speaker 1 3:11

I think what really sets me apart in this role is that, being in real estate for so long, I know how it feels, I know the gray areas, I know the struggles that come with it, and so I can really deep dive and help my clients figure out the best way to move forward.

Speaker 2 3:31

Okay, and can you talk to me about some of those struggles? What are some struggles that you've overcome, that you feel have taught you Sorry if you're distracting me that you feel have taught you a lesson that you're thankful for?

Speaker 1 3:43

I think a lot of people forget that being in real estate it's very emotionally draining and it's very involved in the transactions. Maybe not everyone is that way, but I certainly am and I think a lot of people are that way. We tend to empathize a lot with our clients and we take on their emotions and their feelings and of course it's such a high stakes business. A lot of feelings are involved and I tend to take that on. A lot of my colleagues do, and so it's really just really learning how to maintain and be and just really calm in the moment.

Speaker 1 4:34

Yeah, it's composed. Yeah, I guess it's a learning curve to like learn how to work through those emotions and still know that you are the professional and you are there to do your job, but still have that empathy for everyone else.

Speaker 2 4:53

And with boundaries when it comes. I know it's like a very stressful job at times and you kind of take on that stress from the client as well. What are some boundaries that you've set for yourself in terms of knowing when to shut off, when to take like a mental health break? Yeah, you know.

Speaker 1 5:10

I think it's really difficult to set boundaries, but it's also very easy. I think setting the boundaries is very easy. Sticking to them is difficult, especially when things are busy. It's hard to say no, but I think it's very important to know when it's time to shut down for your family, for yourself, and just be able to also maintain that energy for your client. So being able to take that break and knowing what's your value here is important. That made no sense.

Speaker 2 5:48

No, do you want to try again? I'm going to edit it so you can do it again if you want to. No, you're good. Okay, we'll keep going then. All right, and then what are some things that you like to do outside of work to de-stress that helps you reset?

Speaker 1 6:01

I'm a big hiker. I love to hike. I love since many times with friends. I have a large network of. I have a social group that I started where that keeps me very busy. And also I love to travel alone. Whoa, I do, I love it, whoa girl, have you done it?

Speaker 2 6:24

No, it scares me. I hear so many things but I don't want to say anything. But I mean, that's amazing, Good for you Having that courage. That's.

Speaker 1 6:32

I started solo traveling maybe two years ago, almost two years ago, and I feel like it's really been very, I hate to say, life-changing, but it really is. It's soul searching and you really Because we are always giving in this industry or just at home with family we're always giving and it's hard and you lose sight of yourself. And so I find that these moments where I am completely alone, in a completely different place, that it really, it really regra, it grounds me again and I kind of re-center myself and find myself again.

Speaker 2 7:10

Holy moly, where do you travel to? It's just really like I don't know. It shocks me because I don't know. I can't picture myself traveling on my own Everywhere I go. It's like my husband. But I like that you do that because it's very independent and you know that you don't really need to rely on anybody. And I kind of feel like I do, but I want to do it but I'm scared. So what places do you travel and what advice would you give to people who are thinking about traveling alone but they're a bit nervous about it?

Speaker 1 7:43

So even before I did complete solo traveling, if I had a trip somewhere, I would always try and go a day or two ahead of time just to have time for myself or spend a day or two after the group trip just to kind of again regroup and refresh for myself. But I've been in various cities alone. I've been to Sedona, which is probably my most favorite. I've been to South America and I'm just looking to go probably more places in Europe now. Awesome, that's great.

Speaker 2 8:15

And if you could give yourself one piece of advice like 10 years ago, what would that piece of advice be?

Navigating Social Pressure and Personal Growth

Speaker 1 8:22

I think that not putting so much emphasis on having people like you I've always in the past been like this person has to like me. I want everyone to like me. I mean it comes with natural with our business, where our job is basically to get people to like us and trust us and use us, and that is so. It's so easy to lose yourself when that is all that you kind of know, and so I think over the last couple of years I have really learned to let that go and just be me and I think that comes across much more authentic and the right people are naturally drawn to you in that way and you don't get burnout.

Speaker 2 9:06

Yes, we know that feeling. Can you tell me why you think we put so much emphasis on what other people think in your opinion, like, why do we care so much? Why do you think that is?

Speaker 1 9:19

I want to say maybe it's the area that we live in. It's always. People always have a keeping up with the Joneses kind of mentality, which I fully understand how it's hard not to, and then also with your career and your success. A lot of people attribute your happiness to your success and your your overall. I don't know like I think there's just too much emphasis put on that that people just don't know who they are anymore and they don't take time to learn themselves. And I think that's why there's just so much stress on being people pleasers and everyone has to like me and this and that. Do you think social media plays a big part in that? It does. It does if you don't know how to regulate it for yourself. I mean, I fall into the trap of the whole competition thing and because we live in such a competitive area in all aspects of life, right.

Speaker 1 10:22

And I mean it's good to have that, but you have to understand that you have to be very healthy about it. So I do think social media does play a role. I'm on it all the time, but I know when to not be on it. I know who to who to. I guess I know how to clean up my my feet well enough so that I don't feel down on myself. I don't feel like I'm impersonating someone else.

Speaker 2 10:49

Yeah, Always try to be your authentic self. Like he said, if you can live in your truth, I think you'll be much better off that way. You know, you know.

Speaker 1 10:55

And people. I think people can see right through your realness and if you're genuine and authentic, people are just naturally drawn to you.

Speaker 2 11:05

I agree with that completely and I know sometimes I do have moments where I have to look away from some stuff or not be on my phone or uninstall it for a week at least, cause sometimes I'm like wait, what's going on, what am I missing? But you have to do that. It's, it's so important. I feel like, again, like what you said, we do lose ourselves a lot and we get caught up in like oh so and so might not like this or so, and so I don't want to put myself out there, because what if I get judged? But at the end of the day, you've just got to take time for yourself and just shut it off and be in the moment.

Speaker 1 11:34

You know, yeah, but I mean, social media is such a powerful tool, exactly For everyone, so it's hard, it's hard, it's hard not to use it.

Speaker 2 11:41

You just have to understand how to use it, how to use it exactly, with moderation. And then, as far as business and entrepreneurs go, what kind of advice would you like to give anybody who's thinking of starting their own business, or thinking about transitioning in their current role, or any advice?

Speaker 1 11:59

I think that the most important thing is to really learn one who you are, because when you really develop who you are and know it well, or know yourself well, that's how you can really identify who your ideal client will be. And not everyone has to be your ideal client. It's okay if they're not, but I think that is really the first thing that I would really advise someone to do is figure out what your values are, what your core beliefs are, and then that will naturally bring your ideal client.

Speaker 2 12:33

And then who are you as a kid growing up?

Speaker 1 12:36

I'm first generation here and so I grew up in Richmond Virginia. My parents worked all the time because obviously we were very poor, because we were first generation, so they worked like the second, third shifts and my mom used to clean houses on the weekend and I would go with her, me too.

Speaker 2 12:56

Really yes.

Speaker 1 12:56

Yeah, and I think back sometimes now that I have kids, and I was so happy when my parents brought him a bag of chips from the vending machine.

Speaker 2 13:08

I don't know if you can relate to that, but getting a really special treat that other people might be like it's just that. It's just that, no.

Speaker 1 13:15

No, and it's like getting a soda and my parents, even if they had free lunch at work, they would bring like half of it home because we just we don't get that. And so that was us. I had three older brothers that are much older. You're the only girl, I'm the only daughter, yeah, and so that was like a big thing. So it was kind of like I was an only child, but I was very, very shy, which people just don't believe.

Speaker 2 13:42

But I was. You seem so confident Like girl boss, the suit, the hair.

Speaker 1 13:47

I was very, very shy, I don't know when I kind of came into all of that, but I was never allowed to go to sleepovers. I couldn't go to high school football games, I couldn't do anything. And so I think now that I'm like my kids, I'm like go do it all.

Speaker 2 14:06

Yep All.

Speaker 1 14:08

So that was just really me when I was growing up. My father died when I was really young. I'm sorry to hear that, thank you, and so I think that really impacted how I grew up too. I mean, I was 16, older, but that's a very, that was a very important age, right? Yeah, at a certain time in my life you're growing and you're trying to figure yourself out, and so I lost him, and so it's funny that I get a little embarrassed sometimes when people ask me, like, about my childhood.

Speaker 2 14:40

Oh sorry, no, no not at all.

Speaker 1 14:42

And the reason I mean now in hindsight, like I think the reason is is because I look at everything as before my dad died and then after my dad died, and so things that happened before my dad died I don't really remember and it's kind of sad, but it's just. I want to say it was a very traumatic experience. Usually we do that with trauma. We just blocked it out, yeah, and I think over time, now that I'm adult, like I've kind of realized that that that's what I'm doing, but like I can't forget those moments where, like you know, I would sit at. You know that's when, like we would come home from school and be by ourselves, right, yeah, and my dad, like I would get home from school and my dad would leave to work and I would sit at the window and you know, bye, those little pieces that you remember, yeah, and like if I looked away at the TV for a second, he was gone because he pulled the driveway. I would be like balling I'm like where did he go?

Speaker 1 15:34

oh, my goodness, because you know like. You're like eight years old and you're by yourself, yeah exactly, um, did you have older brother with me? Yeah, they did, but they were still in school, you know. So, like the, the, the stagger of them coming home, okay, so I was every day since I was probably kindergarten. I had like an hour when I was home by myself, can you? I can't even imagine doing that now. No, not at all, but I mean, that's how we grew up wow, like you know how appearance is everything.

Speaker 2 15:59

But you look at someone you're like I bet you they had like a really good life and like everything was easy. You see that. And then you hear people's stories and you're just like never judge a book by its cover. You don't know everybody's struggle. You don't know everybody's story. Yeah, so it's very inspiring because you seem like tough and like strong and like just girl boss like I said so, all just kind of stems from everyone.

Speaker 1 16:19

That is that way, or seemingly that way. They, they just kind of come from something that no one knows about, and and that's the beauty of what you guys are doing is just learning everyone's story.

Speaker 2 16:28

Yep and we love it we like to hear everybody's different stories and their journeys. Do you feel that I don't want to say the way you grew up, but because of your different childhood? Do you think that has affected you in any way and how you raise your children right now? Like you said right now, like go, go, go to your sleepovers, go here. Can you share with us how?

Speaker 1 16:48

yeah, for sure, like culturally, and maybe you can really where are?

Speaker 1 16:52

your parents from. I'm so sorry. We're Vietnamese, vietnamese, okay, my parents are the traditional Vietnamese family that immigrated here by boats and the family a church family in Pittsburgh sponsored us and then that's how we're here. So, yes, because I was raised such a strict environment and a very old school still to this day by my mom I wasn't allowed to express myself. My emotions in an Asian family weren't really a thing, and so I.

Speaker 1 17:25

It took a long time to learn how to express how I feel, to know that it's okay to express how I feel, and so one of the things I said when I had kids was like that's not going to be it, that's not how it's going to be here. So I am very, very open with my children. I expect them to tell me how they feel at their own. Well, I don't force them, but I think over time because I am very vulnerable with them, even when I make mistakes with them. I apologize to my children when I know I'm wrong or when I maybe overstep too much and I'm hard on them. But I think in turn they realize that I'm also just a person and they reciprocate that same vulnerability when they need it and I welcome it. And they know and feel that it's welcomed and I think their father and I have done a tremendous job with that and as they grow up, we we feel that they are growing into very amazing humans.

Speaker 2 18:29

Awesome. I love to hear that, like sometimes, some of the hardships that we go through really inspire us to either not make those same mistakes or do better, or you want something more for your kids. And it's not necessarily to diss our parents or anything, but we saw how hard it was and we want to make sure that you know, through those hardships, we just provide for our kids, because it's not.

Speaker 1 18:53

they didn't know any better like just like we don't know any better as we're raising our children and they lived in a very different world my parents at least where they had to work all the time.

Speaker 2 19:04

Did they know English or did they?

Speaker 1 19:05

slowly learn. I did. But you know I was always the kid at the grocery store or the kid on the phone. That was like ten years old, translating at my household too, in Spanish and people just don't understand that.

Speaker 1 19:17

I think I saw something on TV recently or something where they were saying it was like a red flag that they still have to care for their parents so much and still have to translate and all this and that, and I just was like that's ridiculous, because I still do that to this day. If my mom needs help with, like the insurance company, I'm on the phone and that's just what we have to do for our family.

Speaker 2 19:40

I feel like some people definitely don't understand that perspective or that side, and it may come off another way for them, or maybe rude, but that's not the case and they have to understand that. Everybody's different.

Speaker 1 19:51

We're not all the same, we're not all born here, our parents are not always born here and but I do know that they were doing the best that they can, and, and for them that meant working as hard as they could, cleaning toilets or or like wearing clothes given by, like, whatever and to just be able to do what they could to provide for us. I think they did an amazing job.

Speaker 2 20:13

Yeah, I think so too. Yeah, cuz look at you over here in a podcast girl bossing, cute kids.

Speaker 1 20:20

How old are your kids? What are they? So my son is Noah. He is 20 years old. He's at West Virginia University. He's doing grades like thriving there.

Speaker 2 20:27

What's he?

Speaker 1 20:28

studying Computer science. Okay, that's good. He's a lot smarter than I am Emotionally and you know it's cool, maybe raise that, but yeah, I did. And then my daughter's, ellen, olivia, they are 12 and 10.

Speaker 2 20:40

Okay, you got two girls and a boy, yeah awesome my life.

Speaker 1 20:44

Oh any pets or anything. I have a dog. I have a dog named Millie, so she's almost five.

Speaker 2 20:50

Okay, she's getting up there and shout out hubby.

Speaker 1 20:53

No, I'm single. Oh JK, we'll cut that.

Speaker 2 20:57

Okay, and then I'm trying to think of other questions. I feel like I'm just like spitballing them at you. Um sorry, give me a moment. Yeah, don't stare at me. I'm like embarrassed. I'm just kidding. You're like I'm gonna stare. You know I'm kidding, you can't stare at me.

Speaker 1 21:13

Um, yeah, I did recently start this Facebook group that I'm very proud of, and that's how I met Laudermarket. Well, I met. I have known Sarah for a while.

Speaker 2 21:21

Sarah Jane, she's lovely. Yeah, jewelry and everything.

Creating Inclusive Community Through Social Media

Speaker 1 21:25

Yeah, so she's my best friend's neighbor and so I mean that's how I met her, anyway. So my best friend and I started this group called your local besties. I don't know if you're a part of it or no. I don't have this Facebook, okay, and we started in October and I had the idea that I, because I am single, I needed more Friendships and I think at this age it's hard to have friendships and make new friends At any age really, and so I was like I'm gonna start this group and it's gonna be the social hub for women and it's just so that we can find friends, make friendships, whether they're deep friendships or low-key friendships, it's just, or, if you just want to have dinner with somebody and so we started that in October and we have almost 2,000 members. Wow, and it's like thriving and I I love seeing I there's book clubs, brunches, happy hours. We had a gallon times, and so that's been really, really needed again.

Speaker 1 22:24

A Facebook. That sounds really fun. Yeah, I mean, that's something that I've just also been working on and I, Together with Nicole, and it's been. That's been very rewarding for me, because it's this community that I never thought Could be there. That is there and, like people love it and the whole idea for me, and the goal of it is so that everyone feels welcomed and inclusive and everyone Deserves and needs a friend, so that's a place to find it.

Speaker 2 22:53

What inspired you to do that. Just like after being single, you decided like, hey, you know what I need? A up it up here, go out, make friends, live my life.

Speaker 1 23:02

I met my best friend on Instagram and so I was like you know, if it's, it was that easy to find someone that was so wholesome and so lovely and to be my best friend. And there's others out there, right, and so I. I just like I said earlier, I just Want everyone to feel like they belong somewhere. What was the original question? What prompted me to do that?

Speaker 2 23:27

Yeah, what brought about you doing the Facebook group?

Speaker 1 23:30

Okay, yeah, so all of that Plus, like I have learned that if I can't find something, or if there's not something there for me already, I can create it.

Speaker 1 23:41

And so that's what I've been doing. So I needed this network of friends where I could Randomly do random things with, I can go on hikes with, I can do this with and whatever with. And there was nowhere where I felt like I fit in right, and so I Decided I would create it, um, and branch off of that. I'm single, so I was like I want to be with more single people, I want a community of single people. So from that group I started another community for singles and it's just to-.

Speaker 2 24:16

What is that?

Speaker 1 24:16

one called. I don't know yet. It's not yet. It's still in the works. Yes, I don't know, I'm looking for ideas. I don't know what it's gonna call, but I mean we've been doing, I've been hosting monthly singles Ready to mingle, I don't know. Well, the idea is not for someone to find out, the idea is just to have to build this community of like-minded of people that are just looking for other single people to hang out with Gotcha, because it gets very lonely. I mean, at any stage of life where you're whether you're married or anything, it gets lonely sometimes. And so I was like I'm gonna create this community of other single people that I can spend my time with when I have time. And so I have monthly events. We do mixers and networking events and usually get about 100 people out and it's just a great time.

Speaker 2 25:01

And so Do you have anything on Instagram like where people can follow and keep up with that, or is it just strictly Facebook?

Speaker 1 25:07

So I post a lot of things on my personal Instagram, okay, and then, through the Facebook group, the You're a Local Besties group is where I'll post all that stuff, okay, and then at some point I'll make one for the single.

Speaker 2 25:19

Yeah, just in case anyone wants to see, like, the dates or what events are going on, you know. Yeah, that would be nice.

Speaker 1 25:25

For those of us who don't have Facebook yeah, I mean, I'm always on social, so Instagram is like the spot.

Speaker 2 25:31

Awesome. Is there anything else that you would like to talk about, too, that I don't know about? I'm sorry, no, no, so that way I can ask you and then you can say yeah, I don't know, I don't think so. Are you sure? It's pretty simple. No you're amazing. Your story's great. I love that you shared that with me, so I appreciate it.

Embrace Self-Love and Self-Care

Speaker 1 25:45

It's funny that, like when you called, was it you that called? It was Lauren. Okay, when Lauren called and she was like you were nominated for this, I was like for what? Oh no, stop it, I think it's. I think over time like I never really think of myself as like a business owner or anything like that in the community. But why do you feel like this? I don't know, I just maybe I don't know You're worth it, girl.

Speaker 2 26:11

You're amazing yeah.

Speaker 1 26:13

So when I got that call and I like I was like, and I had no idea that Sarah didn't tell me or anything like that so I was like, oh my gosh, I called Sarah and I was like, thank you so much. I don't like it's hard to imagine that like someone thinks of you in that way. Oh, thank you Sarah.

Speaker 2 26:28

Shout out, sarah. Yes, bringing on her good people here too to share their amazing stories. Yeah, absolutely. And if you could leave one message for the world through our podcast, what would you like to say? It could be in relation to life, work, anything, traveling. What's one piece of advice? Or anything.

Speaker 1 26:47

Oh gosh, I'm on this. I'm in this era now where I'm just kind of all about me and for a long time I felt very selfish doing that and I probably did a lot of things that were way selfish to get there, but I think at the end of the day, it's really made me happy and it's really made me come out of my shell of who I really am, and so I think that really is the advice that I would give my children, my daughters anyone is to. It's okay to be selfish.

Speaker 2 27:20

Yes.

Speaker 1 27:21

And you know respectfully, but it's okay to consider yourself first sometimes and make sure that you are full and you are alive and happy so that you can give, Because the more you give to yourself, I have found that you have so much that you can give to others.

Speaker 2 27:46

Absolutely. I agree with that. Sometimes and I know it may sound selfish to be selfish but you say it in a way where maybe sometimes you don't put yourself first or you always are kind of doing things for other people and you don't take that time to show some respect and love for yourself. And I think that is so important to not lose that and be selfish. It's not as selfish as that sounds. It's just more about self-love and caring about yourself and your needs that you probably are maybe neglected for a while.

Speaker 1 28:20

Yeah, definitely yeah. So I mean just remember that your happiness and your energy comes first.

Speaker 2 28:28

Absolutely. Thank you so much for coming in. I really appreciate this and I love this talk.

Speaker 1 28:33

Thank you so much. I was, I like, so honored to be here. No, we're so grateful that you're here. Thank you.