32 ~ Embracing Life through Yoga and Music with Elle Randall

Join us as we speak with Elle Randall, a yoga teacher and musician. In our conversation, we delve into how this ancient practice extends beyond the mat, shaping our very existence and the connection between yoga and personal growth.  Together, we explore how a spontaneous 'yes' can tune the strings of an otherwise silent passion, leading to unexpected fulfillment and purpose. This symphony of rediscovery takes us from motherhood to the spotlight of a blues band, reminding us to remain open to life's spontaneous harmonies. 

Some highlights of this episode:

• Transformative power of yoga: Discover how yoga serves as a reflection of our innermost desires and challenges, tailored to our unique paths.
• Embracing life's spontaneity: Celebrate the joy found in aligning our yoga practice with the unpredictability of life's journey, welcoming spontaneous opportunities.
• Trusting your inner voice: Learn the importance of fine-tuning your intuition, saying 'yes' to life's invitations, and creating a more authentic existence.
• Women uplifting women: Explore the resonance of unity and support among women, finding strength in collaboration and curiosity rather than competition.
• Embracing the power of 'yes': Recognize how saying 'yes' to life's possibilities can lead to unexpected fulfillment and purpose, tuning the strings of passion like a harmonious symphony.

Join us in this episode as we harmonize the elements of yoga, music, and the pursuit of desires, inviting you to embark on a journey of rediscovery and empowerment.

Connect with Elle:
Instagram @ellerandallyoga @ellerandall @ellerandallmusic
Website ellerandallyoga.com

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:08

Welcome to Desire is Medicine. We are two very different women living a life led by desire, inviting you into our world.

Speaker 2: 0:16

I'm Brenda. I'm a devoted practitioner to being my fully expressed true self in my daily life. Motherhood, relationships and my business Desire has taken me on quite a ride and every day I practice listening to and following the voice within.

Speaker 1: 0:32

I'm a middle school teacher turned coach and guide of the feminine, and I'm Catherine, devoted to living my life as the truest and hopefully the highest version of me. I don't have children. I've never been married. I've spent equal parts of my life in corporate, as in some down and low shady spaces. I was the epitome of tired and wired and my path led me to explore desire. I'm a coach, guide, energy worker and a forever student, even after decades of inner work.

Speaker 2: 1:00

We are humble beginners on the mat, still exploring, always curious. We believe that listening to and following the nudge of desire is a deep spiritual practice that helps us grow.

Speaker 1: 1:12

On the Desires Medicine podcast. We talk to each other, we interview people we know and love about the practice of desire, bringing in a very important piece that is often overlooked being responsible for our desire, piece that is often overlooked being responsible for our desire.

Speaker 2: 1:27

Welcome listeners and friends. This is Brenda. Welcome to another edition of Desire as Medicine. I am joined by two very special guests. The first one I will introduce is my wonderful co-host, catherine. Welcome, catherine. Thank you for having me Always my pleasure since the day you asked me to do this. My second guest that I'm so excited that is here today with us everyone is in for such a treat is Elle Randall. I'm going to talk about you a little bit for a moment because I love this woman so much.

Speaker 2: 2:05

On her Instagram it says that she is a sassy yogi, a professional foodie, a wanderluster, an amateur blogger, a happiness seeker. Elle is a yoga teacher and she sings in two bands the three Bs and the animal afterlife, and she's a mother and a wife. On her website it says yoga practice as a simulation for our everyday life. I love that Our ability to breathe through a flow, stay present in the moment and venture just outside our comfort zones gives us some insight to our journeys off the mat, which is such a beautiful metaphor, and that the practice of yoga is to give us the insight we need for our life. Practice, and you do this so well.

Speaker 2: 2:59

I want to say that Elle is my personal yoga teacher. That is how we met. That is how we met it is. It is, and I'm so happy that you're here and Elle teaches yoga in my building where I live and funnily which I don't understand sometimes I'm the only one who comes in my whole building all the people that are missing out. And so the joy is that I have had the privilege of personal private yoga with Elle and through that we became friends and I was like, wow, who is this woman? I really like her. You're just fascinating. So I have more to say about you. You're just fascinating, so I have more to say about you, but I'm just going to say hello and welcome to our podcast.

Speaker 3: 3:49

Elle Hi. Thank you so much, Brenda and Catherine, for having me. I'm so excited to be here.

Speaker 2: 3:58

Hello everybody, it's so good to have you here. I also love that you say a steady yoga practice makes for happier people. I am definitely happier after my yoga practice with you and I'm like this woman is fascinating. You're a yoga teacher and you do it in a really cool way. You don't just teach yoga in a studio, you do pop-up yoga all over the place, all over. It's so cool. Yeah, you're in two bands. I am, I am in two bands. I've heard them. I've heard them speak because you sing, because you've magnetized me there, and you have a family and I'm like, wow, I do. Yeah, I'm like Elle is a woman. Oh, I'm like Elle is a woman. Oh, I'm like Elle is a woman with so much desire and you work it so beautifully. I'm like here she is living her life, backing herself, making it all happen, being in flow, and you also have such a beautiful presence. You make everyone feel so loved, such a beautiful presence.

Speaker 3: 5:03

You make everyone feel so loved. Thank you. Well, I'm, you know, I I really just here here to be with everybody. I mean I, you know if, if you, if you come to the class and and and give me your energy, I just try to meet you where you are. And you know, we're kind of it's always a conversation, not just through our words but through our movement and breathing. And when I first met you, brenda, you just came in with with so much openness. I was like, oh, all right, I'm ready to to, to go with her.

Speaker 2: 5:36

I love that you said that, because when I was feeling into our talk today, I was really thinking, like, what is it that I love about this woman? There's so many things, and you're so dynamic and magnetic. And you just tapped into one of the things that I really appreciate about you and it is pretty rare. You have a beautiful sense of attunement, you're able to tune into the person in front of you and you're an exquisite listener. Front of you, and you're an exquisite listener. You will say to me how are you feeling today, what's going on? And we'll talk about it for a little bit and then you somehow magically create this yoga experience, not just for me. I've been to several of your yoga classes with many people. You just give everyone exactly what they need and I just want to say how rare that really is to really, really listen and attune in that way.

Speaker 3: 6:33

Yeah, yeah, I mean I feel really lucky because I feel like when I first started practicing yoga, I had really amazing teachers who, who gave me exactly what I needed and I just, you know, I kind of just try to do that too and emulate them and and I, I believe that our yoga practice like life right is like every day is different. Some days you wake up and you're on time for everything, and some days you wake up and you're rushing from one place to another. And some days you wake up on the right side of the bed and you know everything's great. And sometimes you wake up on the wrong side of the bed and some days you can do a downward facing dog with all your joints micro-bended and it's great. And some days you need a block or two and, um, I feel like I, in my own yoga practice, you know, I, I used to tell myself like I have to, it has to be this way or it should be that way, or it. You know it needs to fit into this, this, uh, this cookie cutter shape of what I see other people do or my teachers do, or you know, now we see it on Instagram and really I mean I and you said this earlier.

Speaker 3: 7:53

Like I, just I believe that yoga is a simulation of life, and every practice and every time we get on our mats is different, because every time we wake up in the morning and step outside or, you know, go out into the world, it's different.

Speaker 3: 8:06

Step outside or, you know, go out into the world, it's different. So really it's about practicing and breathing and and moving in a way that serves where we are in the journey. And some days I need a, you know, no blocks underneath my half pigeon, and some days, like one of my students says, I need to build an entire house underneath my half pigeon, my half pigeon, yeah, so you know, that's kind of how, that's how I, I, I, I approach it. And so when we've practiced together, brenda, I uh, I always ask you like how, how was your day? How'd you sleep last night? What's what's been going on? You know, and depending on what answers you give me, it kind of gives me an idea of what, what you might need, and then if I, you know, don't know, I always ask you what do you need today?

Speaker 2: 8:48

It's absolutely gorgeous. It really is, and one of the things that I really love that you do. It's like I do so much in the world and sometimes I come to yoga and I want to be held.

Speaker 1: 9:01

And.

Speaker 2: 9:02

Elle, elle is like a magician. You have like a magic bag. You whip out your I'm not going to use all the right words, but all your props, I'll just say and she's like, basically, we're just going to bind you up, girl, and you're just going to rest, and, oh my God, it's like exactly what I need and you're so intuitive in that way and I really appreciate it. Can you, can you speak to that a little bit?

Speaker 3: 9:27

Yeah, absolutely so. You know, Brenda, I feel like you and I, we, we work in very similar fields, right, where a lot of it is is holding space for others and, and you know we work in in the wellness service industry, right where, you know, as a yoga teacher, like you know, I hold space for my students and when I teach one-on-ones, it's about making sure the person I'm working with feels safe enough to explore whatever it is they're trying to explore, whether it's their breath or their shapes or their feelings, whatever it is they're trying to explore, whether it's their breath or their shapes or their feelings. And when I, you know, I it's funny when you say I whip out my props I always I always now carry a yoga strap in my bag, no matter where I go, because you never know when someone just needs, you know, a little a little hammock, you know a little a little assist, um, and really I, uh, you know, I feel like in the last I want to say last five years of my practice, I really started diving deeper into um, into the Katona yoga practice, which uses a lot of props, um, and my teachers and my teachers teachers, you know I would, I would seek out classes with them and I started noticing, oh, we're moving a little slower and, um, you know, we're taking our time to really prop ourselves up so that we feel held and secure and stable. And in my own body I started to feel like, oh, if I, if I put an extra block here, if I put a strap here, or if I, if I put a sandbag here, if I use a chair and I and I do this pose on a chair, then I'm really able to get into the full benefits of the shape. And it's like there's there's the steadiness side of it and then there's the easeful side of it which is like in in, in Sanskrit we call it the stiram and the sukham, right, the steadiness and the ease.

Speaker 3: 11:25

And you know I can go into like my passion for Katona yoga theory and Taoist theory and this idea of like effortless effort, right. But to kind of go back to your original question about being held, a lot of it is, it just felt good in my own body. And so I was like, well, if I feel so great when I'm being held up by props or when I'm working with a teacher and they're holding me up and giving me the space to really explore a shape or explore my breath, then I could try that for a student and see how they feel. And that's kind of where it comes from, like a lot of the things I teach. Actually, everything that I teach is what I need to learn the most, so it all comes from the same place.

Speaker 2: 12:20

Amen to that. Thank you so much for that, and I really appreciate the slowing down and talking about some of the philosophies of yoga and what you do, because I'm just thinking about my own life I have a daily yoga practice and so many people that I know practice yoga and then so many people that I know don't and so many people want to. So it's kind of really cool to have you on talking about some of the nuances of yoga. I have another question for you, and then I want to know what is coming up for Catherine. I really want to know about this piece because I really believe this and maybe for listeners out there who, like I, have clients who are like I really need to get to a yoga class, I'm like just go. How does a steady yoga practice make for a happier person?

Speaker 3: 13:04

Well, so I have. I guess my answer for you would be would be twofold, right? So when I, when I first discovered yoga, it was it was in college. You know it was part of my, my curriculum, which is amazing that you know colleges out there and universities out there are making you know yoga a credit like an actual credit that you you take. That's like pass fail. So listeners out there are making you know yoga a credit like an actual credit that you take. That's like pass fail. So listeners out there, if you're like in the college admissions or academic world, please continue to make yoga part of the students curriculum.

Speaker 3: 13:36

But when I, when I first practiced yoga was in college and I just noticed that, you know, going through the physical practice of yoga you know we call it the asana practice and the breathing practice, the pranayama side of the practice I would just feel really great afterwards, right, like whether it was I was a little more flexible or a little stronger, or I got a sweat in, or I was able to take a deeper breath, or you know, really focus on my breath for however long I was in that class, it just it felt great afterwards and there was, you know. And then, over the years, as I started to dive deeper into my, into my yoga practice I would, you know, practice at studios and seek out teachers A lot of it became about like catharsis. It was like this, this space, this one hour or this 90 minute where I can go in there and like dump all my stuff on my mat and like just let go. And for a few years, in the beginning of my practice, it was like that. It was like I get in there and it was like I was going to war with my mat. You know, I was like it was me myself on my mat. I was facing everything that was coming my way and I was dumping everything on there. And then for a while it was like, okay, this feels really great. I'm like I'm getting a lot of stuff out right. There's like a purge happening where all this stuff is coming out. I'm able to like see all the stuff that is standing in my way or how I'm getting in my own way. But then you know when the class would be done. I would sit there and go well, all this stuff is still out there and none of it is organized and everything's still just kind of a mess. You know, figuratively speaking, right, and then I'd have to like, kind of put the mess all back into myself and walk out the door and continue on with the rest of my life.

Speaker 3: 15:28

And and then you know the last few years, when I started really practicing more of this kind of Katona yoga style and weaving it in with what I've been practicing, you know, for the last 20 years I started. For the last 20 years I started recognizing there was a way to practice in a way how do I say this? There was a way to practice yoga that allows us to see patterns in our bodies. So you know, my teacher always says, like, through virtue of repetition, we start to see patterns and in these patterns, the more we practice, the more patterns we see, and in these patterns we start to get insights. And so in Katona yoga that's one of the philosophies.

Speaker 3: 16:23

And I just started noticing if I would go to a yoga class or I would go, get on my mat by myself and I would repeat movements or go into poses, and you know, I would start to repeat things and the patterns would show up. Like I always do a side angle this way, or I always do a downward facing dog this way, you know, and does it yield the result that I want? That became like the question right, like, if I do it this way, am I dumping into my back? Am I, am I getting the result that I want If I, if I tuck my toes or I don't tuck my toes? And then it started to show up in my life where I would say, well, if I respond this way to this person, if I respond this way to this person, is the result the result that I want? And if the answer is yes, then I can continue to interact with this person or this circumstance or this event this way. And if the answer is no, then I have to change something. You know, I have to quote, unquote, put a block underneath, or I have to, you know, change the orientation of how I am interacting with this particular person or this particular event.

Speaker 3: 17:35

So, and I find that when we start to see these patterns in our bodies and then in our own lives, we're able to kind of reorient ourselves towards joy, because I mean and I'm, you know, I'm saying this really for myself I feel ultimately everybody just wants to live a joyful life, no matter what kind of joyful life.

Speaker 3: 18:00

That is, like you know, I like to believe that we all just want to be a little happier, a little kinder, sleep a little better at night and like, live, like in the moment, living. And I started to notice that when I would practice this way on my mat and then take all that stuff and apply it to my life off the mat, it was the same thing. I repeat something I see a pattern. If the pattern is working, if the insight is working, I keep doing what I'm doing, and if the pattern is not working, then I have to change it up. And that was, it was both a very eye-opening experience and also a very powerful experience, because I recognize that, really, like you know experience, because I recognize that, really, like you know, the change begins within right. We've heard all, we've all heard that. So that's kind of where where that line came from, like when I talked about a steady practice makes for happier people.

Speaker 2: 18:59

Thank you so much for that. I really love how you bridged what happens on the mat and seeing the patterns in your body and really being curious and then how that shows up in your life. That's just really beautiful. That's my personal experience and I just want to. You're just reminding me of the gratitude that I have for yoga and just how transformative it is.

Speaker 2: 19:19

Um, and I love that you said about the piece about joy, because I didn't say this in my intro for you, but you hold a lot of joy in your body. You really do. I think that I hold a lot of joy in my body and so I recognize that in you and it's really beautiful because the world does need more of that, and I think that we really do want to be happy, not as a bypass, you know, like yeah, we need to cry it out on the mat, like I've touched some really deep, dark emotional spots on my mat and I'm so grateful for that because it just gives me perspective and and what I find is that it creates more space. It creates more space in my body for the joy which is what you're talking about. And then we're talking about desire, and we often talk about like you can't feel your desires. If you're stuck emotionally or you don't feel your feelings, there's no room for desire or joy.

Speaker 2: 20:22

Yeah, so I really appreciate how you broke that down, and I want to see what's coming up for Catherine right now.

Speaker 1: 20:34

Hey, I just want to give our listeners something. I think if I'm correct correct me if I'm wrong, Elle Katona yoga is a new style, but it incorporates Hatha, Taoist and Kundalini yoga. Yes, Okay, so it's designed to help. I'm just reading here from the interwebs it's designed to help students develop a greater understanding of their bodies and minds, while also improving their flexibility, strength and overall well-being. Katona yoga emphasizes the use of alignment, breath work, meditation techniques to help students connect with their inner selves and achieve a state of balance and harmony.

Speaker 1: 21:16

This piece that I was reading made a comparison to Iyengar yoga, which is about alignment and using props and blocks and straps to achieve proper alignment in each posture. It's to help students achieve a balance between flexibility and strength, while also promoting mindfulness and inner awareness. So my takeaway from this this is and listening to you has been that the style of yoga has really helped you. Take what you're learning on the mat to then apply it as a filter system or I'm using filter system, for lack of a better word in your real life, sort of helping you organize the things that are coming up for you in your day to day living.

Speaker 3: 22:08

Yes, absolutely you kind of. You kind of hit the nail on the head with filter, actually, with that word. You know, because and I, you know I talk a lot about Katona yoga but I'm by no means like I'm it. This is I'm. I'm still, I still consider myself a newbie in the, in the Katona philosophy and theory, you know, and I, I like to put it on top of you know, the vinyasa flow classes that I teach and the open level classes that I teach, and you know I come from like a like a vinyasa background where everything was like one breath, one movement, and there was music, and you know, and and and flow and movement, and and I've just discovered that you know, kind of mixing the two together or overlaying one on top of the other um, not only gave me the space to dump all my stuff out, it also gave me the tools then to put it back in a way that gave my life direction and organization, and to filter things out right, to like get rid of the stuff that doesn't work.

Speaker 3: 23:22

One of my favorite shows is the Home Edit on Netflix. Are you familiar with these? Anyway, so there's these two women who you know organization is like their thing and they go into people's homes and they create these beautiful organization I'm like losing the word like to create these beautiful ways to organize their closets or their kitchen. And you know they have like a format to how they do things, and the first is always to edit things right, like to get, you know, take everything out and put it in front of you and then edit the things that you don't need and then you have what's left and then you put it back in a way that's going to create a space that is functional and beautiful and and and helpful for your life.

Speaker 3: 24:05

And so in my own practice, in my own body, I'm still like a lover of vinyasa flows and I love a good flow with music and it's very freeing and cathartic and the release is amazing. But I also love the alignment and the straps and like the, this idea of being held in a shape and holding something and having your feelings in it and organizing everything so that you know it's like we spend this this time where we're in a class or we're in a practice at home, to take everything out and put it all back in a way that's going to serve where we are in our lives, and every day our life is different, so you need a different organization every single day. So practice every single day. I say that both to myself and to everyone out there. Does that answer the question a little bit, catherine?

Speaker 1: 25:02

Does that answer the question a little bit? Catherine Made me think of something different. I wanted to know you spoke about when you were in college and you had this yoga credit. Did you have an experience in that class?

Speaker 3: 25:20

where you said to yourself oh, I can see myself doing this for life.

Speaker 1: 25:23

Yes, I did.

Speaker 3: 25:45

Can you take us back there? What was that like for you? Or sometimes I think it was 8.30. And I was 19 at the time. I did not want to be getting up on Friday morning to go to an 8.30 yoga class. It was not part of my college lifestyle.

Speaker 3: 25:58

But over some time I think I started to really get into it because I also, you know, I have a little bit of a dance background and I, you know, I went to school for theater.

Speaker 3: 26:08

So it's a lot of embodiment work, right, it's a lot. It's a lot of being in, in, in, in in my body and feeling this and feeling that and having sensation so that I can kind of recreate it, to put it on a stage or put it on a screen. You know, and yoga, the physical part of yoga, the asana part of yoga, really spoke to me because it was like dancing, it was like having this meditative dance on my mat. But it wasn't until later on, like after college, like when I was in my twenties, and like really going through the rough and tumble of living in a big city as a 20 something year old, going through like life and rent and heartbreak and everything, and being so far away from home that I really started to rely on my yoga practice as something to keep me anchored and grounded and present. And you know, in all honesty, some some years worked better than others.

Speaker 2: 27:09

Thank you. Thank you for sharing that. I am personally grateful that you did all of that and I'm like, wow, she's into bands and she's a mother I know, like other hat, yeah. And you, you just got back from Taiwan yes, I did Celebrating the new year, like when I'm like, wow, you are a woman who is following her desire. You're doing a lot of things and I'm so curious, I have so many questions what drives you to do all of these things? Like the bands, like the two bands, like what drives you?

Speaker 1: 27:48

well, I think so.

Speaker 3: 27:54

I, when I was growing up, I was. I was that, that child who would write my entire life plan out in my journals and say to myself well, if I get good grades, then I'll get into a good college, and if I get into a good college, then I will get a good job, and if I get a good job, I will make a lot of money. And it was very linear. And I was that kid that would plan out my like life 25 years down the line, and my mother would always laugh at me, not like, not in like a mean way, but just be like oh, you're so cute, you know, and, and you know, she always had a saying to me that really stuck with me my whole life. You know, every time I would get ahead of myself, she would always say you know, L don't take God's job. And what she meant by that, what she meant by that, was she in a real way, until a couple of years ago, because I was, like you know, going according to my plan, quote, unquote, and I'd be like, ok, I got to do this, I'm hitting 25 or I'm hitting 30. And this is what I'm doing, and this is what I want to be doing. I'm hitting 30 and I'm this is what I'm doing and this is what I want to be doing and I started to experience life not going my way a lot, and I think the the music thing was pretty, was pretty amazing, because I think I took a break from performing and music and theater when I got pregnant with my son and I kind of just said to myself, okay, I'm going to take a break. And then, after he was born, I was really like I dove deep into being, you know, the hands-on parent, like with him 24, seven, and I just kind of accepted that maybe performing and music was going to be in my past, like it wasn't going to happen anymore. I was, you know, I was going to, I was going to parent my, my, my amazing son. I was going to teach yoga, you know, live in in in the burbs and and and live life, and that was going to be it.

Speaker 3: 30:15

And a couple of years ago I remember feeling like something was missing and I was like, oh, I can't really pinpoint what it was and I think everybody has this experience, whether they're aware of it or not. It's like this little voice that comes out. Usually it's at like 2 am at night, when you have insomnia and you can't sleep. Sometimes it's when you're driving, you know, when you're kind of zoning out and you're like OK, and then like the voice pops in to like say something, pops into like say something, and for I want, you know, I want to say for majority of my life, I would always just kind of put that voice away and kind of shove it away and be like no, no, no, you don't know what you're talking about. Like I know what the plan is, but for some reason, a couple of years ago I was, you know this voice showed up again. It was like something's missing, let's figure out what that is.

Speaker 3: 31:02

And then a song came on the radio and I remember it was this song Home from the Wiz, the musical the Wiz, and I just started singing to it because I sang it when I was a kid, and it was like a light switch went off, like a light bulb went off, and I was like I want to do music again and I just want to do it for fun. And then, you know, a couple of days later, I saw someone posted on Facebook looking for musicians and, like you know, just to get together to like, jam and hang out. And I was like, well, I don't really have a lot of experience. I, you know, I'm like I kind of do everything by ear, but I just, and I showed up and I went to this person's house and I was like this could go really well. I took a chance, which is very unlike me I don't really ever go anywhere by myself and I was just like I just have to do it.

Speaker 3: 31:55

And I met some amazing musicians and, you know, from there it was like one thing opened up a door to another and I met, you know, other musicians. And then a friend of mine was like hey, I want to start this blues band. You know, do you, are you interested, do you want to do it? And I was like sure, I'll, you know, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll do backup. He's like no, I'm looking for someone to like front it. And I was like, oh, okay, I guess, gathered together and and, and you know, I met the like the drummer who brought me in, brought in the bassist, you know, and the bassist brought in the guitarists, you know, and then the guitarist, like, after like months of practice, was like, hey, I want to do some like pop music. And I was like, oh my gosh, you're speaking my language, like let's do it.

Speaker 3: 32:40

And then animal afterlife you know, I kind of jumped on board with his new project Animal Afterlife and and and it. It just kind of was like this train that just kept going and I think one big part of it was I just kept saying yes, I was like Okay, I don't know what's going to happen, but it's, but I'm gonna do it because it's fun and I'm just to do it until it's not fun anymore. And luckily it's been an amazing ride still. And we're like two years in and you know, I'm really really still like in in it for the ride, right, it's like just, it's like surfing, like you're just riding, riding the wave.

Speaker 2: 33:22

And you ride it so well. I try, you really do. And that joy that we spoke of before in yoga. You emanate that joy so beautifully on stage. Because I've watched you in both bands, I've been to a few of your shows and you just bring so much joy to the stage and I love so many things about what you said. I really a hundred percent resonate with that.

Speaker 2: 33:51

Tap on the shoulder is what it was for me, of something's missing. There's something greater out there, you know. And then you follow the breadcrumbs along the way and you didn't know where it would lead you and you're like I'm just going to say yes, I'm just going to say yes, I'm just going to do this thing. That's a little out of my comfort zone, but I'm just going to say yes, and I don't know where it's going to lead me. I'm just going to keep doing it until it's not fun anymore. And the part that was really struck me was you were like, oh yeah, I'll just be in the back of the band and they're like, oh no, you're going to be in the front. How has being in the front, this desire, this singing, how has it grown you?

Speaker 3: 34:29

Oh man, I mean, you know I was like I was that five-year-old who would like put on shows for at family gatherings. Like I pretended I was Madonna growing up, like I think the first song I ever learned was Papa Don't Preach. And I would don my jean jacket at like five years old and just put on a whole concert for my family. And so this like like fr and play and chat and dance is like my five-year-old dream coming true, and it's the best part is like, are the? Are the guys on stage with me? You know, I mean, the best part, yes, is the guys. Are the guys on stage with me?

Speaker 3: 35:25

It's also this incredible crowd that like come out and, like you know, laugh at my jokes and and and give me that like feedback. It like feeds the energy. You know what I mean and you know it's like I'm, I'm on the stage and I'm with other people and they're all like playing their hearts out and and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and the audience are reacting and responding to what we're giving them, and then it just like it goes back and forth and back and forth, and back and forth and it just becomes like this, this wild party, like every time we we have a show or a gig, I'm like buzzing for 24 hours. So really it's. It's like my five-year-old dream come true Every time I get to perform my five-year-old dream come true.

Speaker 2: 36:13

Every time I get to perform and get out there. I love that, and you're so generous on stage. You really are. And what was just coming up for me as you were speaking was, I think that what I feel from you as a woman who takes really good care of herself like you're well-resourced and we've talked about that on this show because you're very generous, your spirit is very generous and we've talked about that on this show because you're very generous, your spirit is very generous, and I see you do that in yoga.

Speaker 2: 36:36

I see you do that on the stage, and I think that's partly what fascinates me about you is you're on the stage and you could very easily just be in an egoic place and take up all the space and sing, and and you could. You could actually get away with that. But you don't. Like you, you shine and you you make everyone else on the stage shine as well. Like you're always interacting with the band and I'm like, oh, you are a well-resourced woman in that way. Like you, you take good care of yourself, because in order to be so generous, you have to be filled up and nourished yourself.

Speaker 3: 37:16

Yeah, I mean there, there is definitely that, that component to it where, you know, I have to always kind of check in with whether I'm hitting burnout or not, right, and like making sure I'm taking care of myself.

Speaker 3: 37:27

But another big part is that I'm just such a huge fan of my bandmates, like I would I could sit, I can sit there and fangirl over them Like I, and I've done that sometimes where I can.

Speaker 3: 37:40

I just leave the stage and I sit down and I, I look up at them and I'm like, oh my gosh, like I get to play with you guys, you know, cause they're just such amazing talented musicians who, like are you know, I feel like we're all kind of in it for the same reasons. We just all want to have a good time and make music and, and I can't play the guitar and I can't play the drums, I can't play the keyboards and I, you know, so I, I sit there and I watch them and I, I fangirl, um, and you know I. So, yes, it's like there's a, there's a little bit, you know, there's a side of it where it's like I, I'm, I make sure I take care of myself, and so I can go out there and, like you know, full cup right, like going out in there and and sharing the, sharing it with others, but there's a large side of it where it's just me, like you know sitting there, there, like I can't believe.

Speaker 2: 38:34

I get to play with them and there's a joy I love. I love feeling your joy. Um, katherine, what's coming up for you right now, or do you have a question?

Speaker 1: 38:46

I don't have any questions. I'm sort of just enjoying the conversation. I really love how how much Brenda is struck by your presence, but she's also seen you on stage right, so she has a certain view that she's pointing to that I haven't necessarily witnessed, so I'm just enjoying the back and forth. I don't really have any questions.

Speaker 3: 39:10

I have to say, you know, brenda, this I feel we're just, we're like we're having this fangirl moment with each other that Catherine is witnessing.

Speaker 3: 39:18

And you know, when I, when I did your, your vision board workshop, I have to say I feel the same way about you, the, the bravery that you exuded at that workshop.

Speaker 3: 39:44

You know, being so open and honest and and putting your desire out there, like that's, that is something that is, I have to say, very new to me and it's scary. And I, you know, I may like be on stage or be in a class, like being able to command a space or hold the space and giggle and get excited, but a lot of this stuff is very new for me, this idea of being brave and putting myself out there. And it's scary, and it's because it's unknown, it's because I couldn't have written this, I couldn't have planned it as a as a as a 10 year old girl writing out her life plan in her journal, like I couldn't have planned for this, I can't plan for people who are going to respond one way or another to me, right. So I have to say, brenda, like I, I'm just as struck by you too, because your ability to kind of put your desires and your and your and you know what you want at the forefront of your workshop has been really inspiring.

Speaker 2: 40:42

Thank you so much for that. I appreciate that. Thank you, yeah, we're definitely fangirling and I'm totally on board for it. I think that we live in a society where women are often in competition with each other's desires. As women, and sharing our desires and having these conversations and like really backing each other, you know, really being genuinely happy to see another sister shine. And it is do you shine in that way?

Speaker 3: 41:23

I'm so happy that you brought that up because I that has been such a a conscious um how do I say this? I'm trying to find the words to articulate what I'm trying to say Um, it has been such a conscious shift for me because you're right in, you know, in the past, or maybe a little bit in the present too, women were brought up to be in competition with each other and I grew up, you know, kind of always in the back of my head being like, well, she's got, she got that role and I didn't right, or she got that part and I didn't, you know, or like we're both going to be yoga teachers, but like who's going to be better right, yoga teachers? But like who's going to be better Right? And at some point I, you know, in the last few years, uh, I, I think I, I took a, a class, um, it was probably in in positive psychology, um, and the teacher was talking about how there's enough for everybody and we succeed in groups, and that it took a while for the mindset to change, you know, for me, and.

Speaker 3: 42:40

But I noticed that when it really started to shift, like when we start to root for each other's success, when we start to give away like the, the joy and the, the energy, and we start to kind of like root for each other, then it's like we're all kind of lifting each other up and it's like if I lift you up a step, then you lift me up a step, then we're all kind of succeeding together. And I don't, you know, that could just be one way of looking at it, it could be true, could be not true. But I find that when I look at life that way, where there's room for everybody and there's room for all of us and we succeed as a group, I'm just happier. And I think I was like oh, maybe it's because I'm I like working in a team, it's probably why I love being in a band, I love being in groups, you know, and I'm being in a pack, and when my family travels together, we're like 20 people deep all the time, like I, you know it could speak to me, as it could be, just because that's how I am.

Speaker 3: 43:44

But, yeah, like Brenda, I, you know, I saw your name around the building before I actually met you in person and my initial reaction was, oh, here's somebody who's like doing what I kind of do, right, I'm like, oh, OK. And then the real voice came out and was like stop it, that's just your programming and that's just your, that's your programming from before. And like, really what you want to do is you want to go introduce yourself because you're curious about this person. And I'm going to reference Ted Lasso because that shows one of my teachers, that shows one of my teachers. You know, be curious, not judgmental.

Speaker 3: 44:31

You know this may or may not resonate for others, but when we start to shift the way we look at the world, when we the way we interact with other people, when we start to get more curious and not judge something right away, or when we start to ask more questions and really like get curious about other people and who they are, I think that just I'm happier that way, you know.

Speaker 3: 44:52

I think that that lends itself to cultivating one's joy and one's happiness is when we come from this abundance mindset rather than this mindset of lack. So I don't know, I mean so, I don't know, I mean too much of it. Maybe we lean into, like Pollyanna world and like you know, toxic, positive, toxic positivity. I think a healthy, healthy dose of skepticism sometimes is okay, but for the most part it for me. I was like I really have to get out of this, this, this programming, where I was programmed to be in constant competition with other women, especially, you know, like for the part, or for the role, or for the position, and yeah, it's like a, it's like an ongoing, ongoing practice.

Speaker 2: 45:45

It really is. Thank you for that. First of all, I have two more episodes of Ted Lasso left and I am loving that show. It's so great Just a little, I have to respond to that and I love he's so magical, like be curious, not judgmental. And as you were talking, I was really feeling into our connection and when you, there was one day where you just were like I'm so curious about you, tell me about yourself, and we just it led to this great conversation and it opened up so many doors and that's really how we became friends was with your curiosity, and I've learned to be in life so much more curious rather than judgmental and you're right, it really is a practice.

Speaker 2: 46:27

It's not something that came quickly for me because I could be super judgmental. I've just learned to even be curious about myself what's happening for myself here? Or curious with my partner oh, why is he acting that way? Or curious with my kids. Playfulness is something that has helped me a lot in life and curiosity is another one thing that has helped me a lot in life. And curiosity is another one. It's like a little magical medicine that opens so many doors. And even Catherine asking me to do this podcast, you know, would you like to speak about desire with me publicly? You know she's curious. I want to know about desire. Look how many doors it opens, and so I'm personally really grateful for that.

Speaker 3: 47:10

Yeah, I, yeah, I'm with you on that. I think it's. Can you, I mean, think of, think of the alternative, think if, think about if you said no to Catherine, right? And sometimes I have to go back and like debrief with myself and be like imagine if I didn't show up at you know this person's house to meet the other musicians. Imagine if I didn't like, if I just decided to forego it, right. Or if I, if I didn't go to this event, I wouldn't have met this person you know. Or if I didn't reach out to you know this person and ask them if I, if they wanted to like you know, sing with me or or or or dance with me. How?

Speaker 2: 47:49

imagine if or dance with me. Imagine if we didn't do it, how many opportunities would have been lost.

Speaker 3: 48:06

You know, yeah, it's true, yeah, and I didn't always used to be this way. I was the person who would say no before I said yes. I was the person who would you know kind of side-eye something before I would lean into it. So it's kind of been a humbling experience to just like really shift this way.

Speaker 3: 48:21

And you know, bringing it back to the yoga practice a little bit, one of the things that my teacher Naveen says all the time is like we first learn how to play with ourselves and then we can go in and like play with others.

Speaker 3: 48:33

Right, it's like if you're an instrument, you have to tune your instrument, you have to clean your instrument, you have to play your, you do your scales and make sure you're like ready to go, and then you can go and like play in an orchestra and play in a band, and like you could put a violin and a cello together and they can make music together, but like you have to kind of play yourself first. And I realized for me, like a lot of that skepticism and judgment and and side eyeing and like you know kind of wall up like no, thank you came from a deep sense of insecurity and and you know programming and insecurity. So it's, you know, as as much as I may present as this like super happy, like yay person, like oh I'm, I'm still just kind of fumbling my way through it as well. You know, it's like it's. It's all new to me too.

Speaker 2: 49:30

Thank you for that beautiful vulnerability. Yeah, we always say here on the podcast, we're on the mat. You know, we do come with some expertise and some wisdom and experience, like you're saying about yourself, but we're also on the mat and I think it's a really humble pose to take as a teacher and a holder. And I love what you're saying about just saying yes and trusting the process, and what if we didn't do it? You know, I think I really do trust the process and it takes such courage to just say yes and not know what's next. And we talk about that a lot on the podcast too. I think we did a whole episode I think it's number 10 about change. I'm hoping I got that number right About change and saying yes and sitting in the unknown and just following the breadcrumbs of desire and life, and I think it makes life really infinitely interesting. I have a question for you, okay, as we are beginning to wrap up here. Yeah, what is a big desire that you have for yourself moving forward?

Speaker 3: 50:35

Wow, that's a. That's a big question. Um, I think one of my biggest desires is to trust myself more. I I just I realized for a lot of my life, you know, these past X amount of years, I, I noticed that I, I tend to ask permission a lot. I notice that I tend to ask permission a lot, you know, or, I tend to kind of pull people's opinions on what I should do next. And I'm trying to turn up the volume on that voice inside and to trust it a little bit more. Um, and it's, it's. It's not always, it's not always easy, you know, um, but that's what I really desire is I, I would I desire trust and like a, a trusting relationship with myself, a trusting relationship with myself.

Speaker 2: 51:51

Thank you for that. That's a beautiful desire and it's so honest and I know that a lot of women listening will resonate with that desire. And what I love about this question is that it's so inspiring because there's a listener out there saying, oh, I can want that, I can want that, I can want to trust myself more. Instead of beating yourself up saying I don't trust myself, you could actually shift it and have that as a desire. I'd like to trust myself more, so thank you for bringing that into the room. Thank you.

Speaker 3: 52:26

Thank you for asking. I don't think I've ever said that. Answer out loud, yeah.

Speaker 2: 52:31

Well, it's really beautiful. Well, so shall it be. So shall you trust yourself, and maybe even better than you could possibly imagine. And as we begin to wind down, is there anything that you would like to say, elle, anything that is burning for you that you would like our listeners to know about anything?

Speaker 3: 52:51

Well, I, you know, there's, there's, there, there are so many things. First off, you know, thank you so much for having me on. This has been such an incredible experience. Um, getting to talk so candidly about things, that kind of light, my fire, I you know.

Speaker 3: 53:13

Desire as medicine is so incredible because it it really is about being in the moment and being in our bodies and being in our minds and being in our hearts in like to, to live, to, to move forward, to forward, to live the life that we want.

Speaker 3: 53:36

And I would say that if there's something that you want to try or go for or figure out, if we say yes, there's a chance it might work out and there's a chance that it might not, but if we say no, then it's a guarantee it's not going to work out. And so this idea of desire and wanting and needing and moving forward is exciting and scary. But that's kind of like living life in the moment. Right, it's the exciting and the scary because we're not worrying about the past and we're not ruminating about the future, we're just being. And I would like to do more of that. And, you know, tell my, my 10 year old self like it's okay, no matter where this goes. It's it's gonna work out and it's not going to be linear and you'll be okay and just keep keep doing it, whatever it is.

Speaker 2: 54:44

Keep doing it. I love that. Thank you, that was beautiful, and how can our listeners reach you?

Speaker 3: 54:50

Um, so they can. They can follow me on Instagram. I have um, I have three. I have three pages, um. So El Randall yoga is where all of my yoga classes, scheduling, pop-ups, workshops, live. Um at El Randall Yoga. El Randall Music is where I post about my gigs and songs that we're writing and releasing and all things music is El Randall Music. And if you want to just see me goof around with my amazing seven-year-old and, like you know, year old and, like you know, try to live life as messily and imperfect as possible, it's just at L Randall on Instagram and you can always go to my website, l Randall yogacom, or um animal afterlifecom or the three beescom, for all yoga and music related um events Perfect, thank you so much, and we'll drop all of that in the show notes, because I know you have original songs on Spotify and we're just going to drop it all in the show notes.

Speaker 2: 56:00

So if anyone's listening, you can have that.

Speaker 3: 56:03

Yes, Spotify, we're Animal Afterlife and the Three Bs. We've got some fun music and original stuff on Spotify, Apple music, all those streaming services you really do and it's really good.

Speaker 2: 56:16

So I want to thank you, al, for coming today, for sharing about your yoga practice and your music and your desire and your little girl, and your wisdom. It's been a real pleasure to have you here today and on the Desires Medicine podcast.

Speaker 3: 56:33

Thank you so much. My pleasure. Thank you, catherine. Thank you, brenda for having me. This was incredible and I the first podcast in the books.

Speaker 2: 56:44

Yay Well, congratulations, and that's a podcast. Thank you for joining us on the Desire is Medicine podcast.

Speaker 1: 56:56

Desire invites us to be honest, loving and deeply intimate with ourselves and others. You can find our handles in the show notes. We'd love to hear from you.