41 ~ Embracing Discomfort to Ignite Growth: A Milestone Reflection

What happens when you fully embrace your deepest desires, even if it means stepping into discomfort and potential failure? In this episode, we celebrate a milestone: over 40 episodes dedicated to uncovering the complexities of desire and its transformative power.

Journey with us as we revisit some of our most impactful moments, from the invaluable lessons of our Self-Love Series featuring Katie, Madison, Karen and Clara, to the challenges and triumphs of our monthly Desire events. Through personal anecdotes and guest insights, we reveal how self-love acts as the cornerstone of pursuing our desires, and why stepping out of our comfort zones is essential for authentic growth.

The pursuit of our desires isn't always smooth sailing, but it's in embracing discomfort and potential setbacks that we find true fulfillment and authenticity. Reflecting on recent events and personal stories, we emphasize the importance of expressing our desires openly and the vibrant, evolving journey this ignites.  Tune in and discover how the interplay of desire and self-love can reshape your life.

Please join us for our last live online event for the season on June 13.  Register using this link.

If you are unable to join, or missed it, check out our Tool Box mini-episodes in which we share potent tools to help you play with desire.   (episodes 23, 26, 30, 37).

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:08

Welcome to Desire is Medicine. We are two very different women living a life led by desire, inviting you into our world.

Speaker 2: 0:16

I'm Brenda. I'm a devoted practitioner to being my fully expressed true self in my daily life. Motherhood relationships and my business Desire has taken me on quite a ride and every day I practice listening to and following the voice within. I'm a middle school teacher turned coach and guide of the feminine.

Speaker 1: 0:36

And I'm Catherine, devoted to living my life as the truest and hopefully the highest version of me. I don't have children. I've never been married. I spent equal parts of my life in corporate as in some down and low shady spaces. I was the epitome of tired and wired, and my path led me to explore desire. I'm a coach, guide, energy worker and a forever student, even after decades of inner work.

Speaker 2: 1:00

We are humble beginners on the mat, still exploring, always curious. We believe that listening to and following the nudge of desire is a deep spiritual practice that helps us grow.

Speaker 1: 1:12

On the Desires Medicine podcast. We talk to each other, we interview people we know and love about the practice of desire, bringing in a very important piece that is often overlooked being responsible for our desire. Hello, welcome back. Hey, brenda, how are you?

Speaker 2: 1:32

Hey.

Speaker 1: 1:32

Catherine, welcome back everybody. I am so insanely moved by where we are right now in the podcast. We're about 40 episodes in, so for timeline and site purposes, for the visual that I'm trying to paint here, there are 52 weeks in a year, so we are really we've come a long way from being two friends on the path saying, hey, we're on the mat. How do you feel about talking about desire? It has just been such a pleasure to be in this room with you, brenda. I've been in awe of what we've been able to create, how far we've come, and I just want to share with our listeners how fun it's been to be here and have these conversations and just watch things bloom and unfold.

Speaker 1: 2:30

One of the things that has been unfolding for us beautifully has been the self-love series just dropping. It's bringing out so many nuggets and gems and conversations beyond my wildest dreams. I can't really. I think that even in our conversations I'm hitting topics or nuggets, these little corners where I'm like, oh, that's really interesting, I didn't know that. Or oh, that's an example of that would be when we landed on self-love being one of the things that helps fuel us to actually go for our desire. Right, that sometimes we're like oh, I want motivation.

Speaker 1: 3:11

I want to feel sort of unstoppable as I go after something and noticing well, I don't know what's going to come first failing or unstoppable, because we need courage to just get out there and go for the thing that we're going for. So the self-love series has just been fantastic Speaking to Katie and Karen, madison, clara, just all these gorgeous episodes that we've had with others, really feeling into the different levels of self-love from different angles, into the different levels of self-love from different angles, from different expertises, and looking at that in combination with desire desire being the life force that wants to be expressed through us. Right. And so that's been on the hopper and as well as we've had these gorgeous desire events. We've been doing them once a month since February. So we had a February event where we did Desireless, a March event where we spoke about honesty and withholds, an April event where we talked about time and energy, just doing an audit of how do we really spend our time and is it actually in service to what we say we want, like, are we really backing ourselves in that way? And in May we did desire polls, sort of a fun way of just tapping into what are the like, what do you want and what, what's underneath that and what's underneath that and drumroll. We will be having a another event this Thursday In June, which is the second Thursday, at 7pm EST. There will be a humanitics link underneath this episode to really feel into what's been coming up the past few months and at these events.

Speaker 1: 5:10

And I want to say that I've been a student of desire for a few years. I've had the excellent opportunity and I'm very grateful for Brenda's willingness to play here with me. But it's not in the forefront of everyone's mind, it's definitely not in the forefront of women. I think we can really get lost in doing versus being. So the way that has showed up in these rooms is there was one event where one of the participants said you know, when you put us in breakout rooms because we put people in breakout rooms so that they can practice, it just doesn't go the way you and Brenda do it I'm like, oh wow, I can really see that this is a barrier for some people, like, oh, this is so interesting, there's a certain level of perfection, or wanting to get it right or wanting to get it at a particular level before we play. And how often do we not get on the field because we don't really know the sport right, like we're not great at it. We just don't even want to play the game. We want to be the spectator. But the thing with desire is that it's in all of us. So being a spectator, yes, that's one of the options, but it's really not playing full out and it's definitely not playing at our highest potential.

Speaker 1: 6:43

And when I say highest potential, I don't mean like, oh, go, get your maximum degrees and have as many letters behind your name as possible. I mean, are you willing to fail? Are you willing to be courageous? Are you willing to really meet yourself in the places where you're potentially not being fully courageous or potentially are failing? Air quotes, because what is real failure? I'm starting to really feel into this year. If I'm not failing enough, am I even living? I'm really not at my edge. That means that I'm only playing where, potentially, I know how to play the good game, but I'm not expanding my edges. I see my co-host making faces here. Is there something you want to add to what I'm saying?

Speaker 2: 7:30

I'm just in awe. I love everything that you're bringing out. It's really beautiful and I think you've summed up so much of the last 40 episodes so beautifully and how far we've grown in our own desire to have this podcast and our events are just absolutely exquisite. So beautiful to have women coming and being willing to, like you said, playful out and meet yourself where you are. Because, let's face it, desire can be confronting, it could be confronting at times, and that's why we often shy away from it or deny it or pretend it doesn't exist. Yet it's so exhilarating and it's so incredible. She's making a face now. She's like it's exhilarating, it's I don't know what you're going to say, but it can be really. Yeah, you agree that it's exhilarating. It is, it's exhilarating. You know.

Speaker 2: 8:35

Desire comes into us, it comes to us, it comes to us in all in different ways. It comes to me through my body or in a flash of a moment or an intuitive moment, and I can feel it and sometimes it does frighten me, and that is being alive. Desire, I think, is where we meet ourselves and our potential. What's possible for us? We meet ourselves and our potential, what's possible for us. And it's been so exciting to have this podcast and have it develop so organically. And this self-love series is so beautiful and the guests that we've had. Oh my God, I'm just so deeply moved. And we have another event tomorrow night and I'm really excited about it. And we have another event tomorrow night and I'm really excited about it. So that's what I was thinking about when you were talking about, when you were talking just now, when you saw me making faces. How desire is like the nudges of our soul. You know they grow us. So, yeah, it's confronting but it's exhilarating, and that's what being alive is.

Speaker 1: 9:37

I also want to talk about that. And when we talk about confronting the part that's scary, the part that's confronting is if you want something right and it's going to require some action to get it, and that's the confronting part. Because if we could, have it just as is, then we'd already have it. If nothing had to change to have it, we would just have it. It would just be here. It wouldn't be really like a growth edge or someplace that we're going. We wouldn't have to go there, it would just be here already.

Speaker 2: 10:05

Yeah Well, your willingness to step out into the unknown, take a chance, is the gate to having your desire. It's the gate to growing. Are you willing to be uncomfortable, are you willing to fall, are you willing to fail? And that is the gate, I believe, and that's what makes it really worth it to be on the journey and look back and say, wow, I went for that, I have it or I don't now. I have it or I don't now, but I've grown.

Speaker 2: 10:39

Just from the experience of going for it, I am a different person, and that's what we're talking about here on this podcast is the desire, is medicine, how we grow and how it grows us into our full potential as a human, going after the things that we want. Because what would life be if we didn't? It would be flat and that we're bored. I think that's why people create a lot of drama in their lives. I mean, if you just follow your desire, you don't need to follow it's to create drama. There will be a lot of excitement and sensation in your life, for sure. There will be a lot of sensation and sensation in your life.

Speaker 1: 11:19

For sure there will be a lot of sensation and electricity, I think, in your body. Right, you said when you talked about following desire, one of the things is to be honest about it. Right, we have a podcast I don't remember what number it was but we spoke about honesty and sometimes that part is really hard when you're just talking about desire and being honest with ourselves and with others, being willing to share the little nudges that we're getting with other people, being willing to be seen in the discomfort or in the potential failure, like letting people know hey, I really want to go for this. And yeah, I mean I get it right, there's nothing's guaranteed Like life is not guaranteed. I mean I think that there are some. There's nothing's guaranteed like life is not guaranteed. I mean I think that there are some times when I have tons of gusto behind something and I'm like it is not a matter of if, it is a matter of when, I will definitely do this. And then there are other times where I'm like I'm gonna do this and I don't know.

Speaker 1: 12:10

I don't know what's gonna happen at the bottom.

Speaker 2: 12:14

Yeah, you know, it's true, and I think I've had so many experiences in my life where my desire just wants to be expressed. That's not even about the having, it doesn't even need to be gone after but it wants to be expressed, it wants to be seen. It's like a beautiful dress in your closet that you're like, oh, look at this beautiful item of clothing. It just wants to be seen. And sometimes, you know, we can get really attached to the manifestation of our desire, and I don't believe that manifestation is the goal with desire. I mean, sometimes, like you said, you get really into it. You're like, oh, I'm going to have this thing, like you're just so determined. But I would argue that desire wants to be expressed and it wants to be seen and heard and felt. And I know there's been times where I just need to share my desire and then I become I kind of feel free because I feel expressed and then I can let it go. Maybe it's just not actually going to be manifested.

Speaker 1: 13:19

I definitely have more grip If I'm going for something. I'm like I want this to come back. So my work is definitely around surrender and being really willing to fail. We have had some really interesting conversations post events. You'll be hearing more about that. There's going to be a little bit of a pause on the self-love series drop just to fully honor what we've been able to see and create with these other women that have shown up at the events. Like the level of conversation has been so rich and level of inquiry has been so rich and the level of inquiry has been so rich.

Speaker 1: 14:01

Brenda and I had to sit one day and just be with how a lot of this learning is very from generation to generation. Like it's not really in a book, it's a lived experience and we're learning vicariously through others. We're watching women live and playful out and in witnessing that we get to learn vicariously what it looks like to have desire. Go for your desire, have it be embodied in an individual and have a real felt sense of what that looks like. Really learning through model versus learning through textbook. That has been a real gorgeous development in these rooms, these events and as well as our lived experience as students on the mat, then sitting with. Oh, sometimes we just need to have a moment and just like meditate on what do I want? Because there's so much noise from the outside world, from to-dos and people wanting things from us or pulling We've been able to sit with. What does desire and motivation mean? Do they titrate off of each other? Which one came first? In one of our events we worked on withholds.

Speaker 1: 15:26

All of these things have been just exquisite experiences and we want to share it with all of you. Clearly, that's what we're doing here on the Desires Medicine Podcast is sharing what's coming up and what has come up along the way, and so that's what's coming in the next few weeks before we pick up the self-love series again. Interesting juncture where, wow, desire is just so rich and we want to stay true to it and follow the thread as it's moving and evolving, follow the conversation and bring on guests and have the interview flow in a particular way, while also admitting that in every conversation, so many things come forward. There's just so much to ride Like. If this were a wave or maybe that's not the right analogy, it's more of if we were driving on a road there would just be so many paths to go down in conversation, and it's all really stemming from desire. It's uh Been a beautiful maze, I want to call it, but it's because I'm lacking a word.

Speaker 2: 16:53

I don't know Like a journey. It's been a beautiful journey.

Speaker 1: 16:57

It's been a beautiful journey. It's as if I have this virtual site in my internal mind where I can see the path. There's all these ways to break out all these potential possibilities of conversation and staying with the truest one or the truest path or thread, the one that has the most aliveness, when so many of them have so much aliveness.

Speaker 2: 17:26

I love what you said before about there's so many things to talk about with desire. You know, it's really incredible. I mean, can we just say how tapped in you were when you said do you want to talk publicly with me about desire in 2021? And here we are in 2024. There's so many paths to talk about here. It's really surprising to me and quite beautiful. I don't think I expected that. I mean, we have 40 episodes where we're talking about obligation and honesty and compensatory desire, and now we're in self-love and all that, all the tentacles that come out of that. You, you know, we're talking about our conditioning and it's just so rich. It's such a beautiful topic and it's it's not one dimensional and that's why I love having guests on, because everyone brings in something different, brings in something different, and that's really beautiful.

Speaker 2: 18:34

Because you are right, there is no textbook for this. I'm like, is there a textbook for this? There's books on desire, like I know Danielle Laporte has done the desire map, and there's people who write and talk about desire and here we are on the mat with a lot of experience and also on the mat as beginners, like on the path, still like we're in this inquiry. Here we know a lot, but we also don't have anything figured out at the same sentence. We just have a lot of experience in it. When she interviewed us which I believe was episode 25, which is one of my favorites when she interviewed us about Desire, about this podcast. If you want a behind the scenes, look at Catherine and I and some really funny moments, listen to that one. It's actually one of our most popular ones. But anyway, I digress.

Speaker 2: 19:31

We were talking about desire and this beautiful podcast and our event tomorrow. We have an event tomorrow, june 13th If you're listening to this past that we will be tapping into what is coming in in the future. We'll be pausing these events for the summer and seeing what wants to come through. What do we want to create next? Maybe we continue with these events or maybe it comes out in a different form. We're not really sure yet and we really do.

Speaker 2: 20:05

Sit around, catherine and I, really talking about what we feel in the field, what's alive, what's alive for each of us, what's alive in our podcast, what we see the path as, and we do our best to follow the integrity of what's true and bringing that to you, to our listeners, like that's you to our listeners Like that's, it matters to us, it's it's important to us, and we also talked about doing a whole episode on how it's grown us as individuals, because this podcast has grown us so much, and that's its whole other episode which I'm very excited about doing and bringing out at another time. Thanks so much, and that's its whole other episode which I'm very excited about doing and bringing out at another time.

Speaker 1: 20:52

Thanks so much, brenda. So with this, friends, please consider this your warm invitation to join us tomorrow. Thank you so much for listening today. At the end of the day, we are really looking at how desire is our medicine, how honesty helps us get there too, and really shining a light on being who you are in the world. Is the medicine Really following your desire is the medicine. Thank you so much, everyone.

Speaker 2: 21:26

Until next time much everyone, Until next time. Oh, I wanted to add one thing. I wanted to add that if people are listening to this past June 13th all the events that we've had we've also done toolbox episodes for them. So if you didn't get to come to one of our events and you can't come on June 13th or it's past the state when you're listening, check out our list of episodes and we have toolbox episodes, which are mini episodes where you get to play with desire and everything that we taught in our events. We have little episodes for. So if you want to learn about desire pulls or energy that Catherine was talking about, or withholds and honesty, or desire lists, they're all in there for you and with that, thank you so much for listening and we appreciate you. Thank you for joining us on the Desire is Medicine podcast.

Speaker 1: 22:31

Desire invites us to be honest, loving and deeply intimate with ourselves and others. You can find our handles in the show notes. We'd love to hear from you.