Episode 5 - The Magic on the Other Side of Inflammation, Frustration & Toxicity

In this enlightening episode of "The Magical Midlife Crisis," join hosts Meg & Court as they share their thoughts and experiences about the transformative power of personal change and growth. From overcoming fears to manifesting new realities, they share their unique journeys towards self-improvement and the profound impact it's had on their lives. Get ready for an inspiring conversation on harnessing the magic within yourself.

Shifting Mindset & Emotions:

• The connection between diet and mood and the importance of understanding gut health
• The challenges of breaking free from a negative mindset and learning to manage emotions
• The realization that small shifts in thought patterns can lead to profound personal growth

The Power of an Open Mind:

• How an open mind can lead to new opportunities and personal transformation
• Overcoming fear and self-doubt to embrace change and personal growth
• The role of surrounding oneself with like-minded individuals to foster evolution

The Power of Pushing Through Fears

• The realization that emotional pain can manifest as physical symptoms
• The transformation from ignoring the body's signals to becoming more mindful of health
• Megan and Courtney discuss the initial discomfort of self-expression and self-promotion 

Creating Lasting Change

• Reflecting on the misconception that changing external circumstances leads to an automatic fresh start
• The significance of addressing emotional baggage and traumas while embracing a new lifestyle
• The realization that personal growth involves inner work and rewiring thought patterns
• The magical connection between energy, manifestation, and the vibrational frequencies

Embracing Personal Growth

• The impact of shifting to healthier living, both physically and mentally
• Meg’s personal transformation during COVID, including clean eating and meditation
• The realization that mindful thinking and consciousness are key to true personal growth

Finding Community & Identity

• Meg shares her journey of breaking free from a life attached to the bar and creating her unique identity
• The value of finding community of like-minded individuals who live & support your health and wellness journey
• The profound impact of choosing health and embracing a new sense of normalcy

Transformation & the Power of Sharing

If you feel called to it - please 'follow', rate with some stars & share any episodes to spread the magic! Reviews & reflections can be shared here -> https://tinyurl.com/TheMagicalMidlifeCrisisPage

Listening on Apple Podcasts? scroll to the bottom, tap "write a review"

Tune in to you next time!

Want to have your own discovery on how the mind & body are interconnected? And learn how food can lead to a more sustainable & vibrant life? --> *** Click here to learn more and/or message us on the 30 Days to Healthier Living! *** <--

Directly connect with Meg: @meg.itate.8itch
Directly connect with Court: @coco.compassion
Connect to us both: themagicalmidlifecrisis@gmail.com --- Write to us! We'd love to learn about a magical midlife crisis story of your own or someone you know!

Transcript

0:00

Court and Meg here with the Magical Midlife Crisis. This podcast is intended to inspire and support you on your personal journey towards feeling more magic. Breathe, press play, expect real and raw stories and shifts. Come back with your own stories, shifts, and magical light moments through your darkness in your life. Once we pinpoint The mind to search for the magic, the magic will show up. It's just a matter of time. It could be at any moment in the middle of this magical ride we call life. Enjoying this episode. Grab your seat every Sunday. Expect magic. Hello and welcome back to the magical midlife crisis. Megan Courtney here with episode five. All right, so we are going through our layers of our awakening and finding light in the darkness. And you had talked about on the last episode, refresh my memory. Yeah, refresh my memory too. Let's refresh each other's memories. Um, we had talked about, oh, my trip to Costa Rica. I just have to say that we have had such awesome. Um, feedback from like our friends and family, like talking about all the different it's funny because like we launched a few episodes at once, you know, for the benders because we're benders. Um, and people are like, I don't know what episode it was, but I mean, people linked on to like different parts that we talked about. And it's, it's so cool to hear what sticks out to different people. Right. Because that Like, I mean, everything that I, the way that I even talk now is just completely different from like every layer that I'm talking about. So it's so funny to relive this as I'm telling the story and then think about what, how I say things, how I think about things and then hear people's feedback on how they're thinking about it and their reflection of like finding some kind of light in the dark moment that they're in. So, um. For me, like going to Costa Rica and talking about that story with you again, in detail, just like it just gave me such a great like feeling of what I did accomplish so soon after some really shitty stuff happened in my life. Um, and how I really was, like you said, taking my power back. Um, so I had been working as a dental hygienist, I don't know, a few years at that point. Um, and I was going through so many different feelings, a lot of physical pain. They talk about this, like the first week that you're actually being introduced to the career of dental hygiene. They're like, yeah, so your body's going to fall apart. Are you prepared to accept that? And I was just like, what I'm 24, like nothing's going to happen to me. Well, my body started hurting because I really was. Picking up a lot of poor posture and ergonomics and just trying to be faster at my job and better, but like putting my own health at risk. So physical pain was a problem. But now, now that I know as much as I do, um, I really think it was a lot of emotional pain that was like showing up physically, just kind of my body, like my neck was hurting. My legs were hurting. I started instead of sitting all the time and cleaning teeth, I, and taking care of patients. That's not exactly, you know, cleaning teeth isn't just what a hygienist does, but, um, as I was taking care of patients and sitting, like I started to develop this really weird leg pain where it felt like my legs were, um, ballooning, like actually inflating. Like they felt huge, but you looked at them and they looked normal. So, um, it was really strange and I just ended up, started standing instead of sitting and that kind of alleviated it. And then I would just stand and sit every other patient. And I just felt like my legs, like from the, just above my knees all the way down, just felt like they were literally going to rip open. And it was weird. And I, like a lot of people didn't wanna go to the doctor for the reason that everyone doesn't wanna go to the doctor, don't wanna find out what's wrong. So I finally went and I went to all these different specialists. I had an MRI done for the first time. Um, I'm trying to remember like my age at that time. I don't know. I was like thir. Yeah. 30, 30, 31. Had MRI done. Um. I had like all these ultrasounds down on my legs to see like what's the problem with like circulation and like they did I went to all these different like a neurologist or cardi, cardio, vascular. Thank you. Yeah. And then, um, yeah, like just trying all these different things. And everything was coming back normal. And I was very frustrated. I was like you like you said you I was paying a lot of money for copays like meet my deductible. And I was seeing all these different specialists, and it just didn't seem like anyone is really going to figure it out. And I was frustrated. I was annoyed with all the stuff that I created for my own, like I created a lot of things in my work because I was also not only Hygienist, but I was also like helping the doctor with like treatment planning patients. And I just created a lot to feel really significant. Now I see that I created a lot so that I was like important and that I like wasn't needed like outside validation. Yeah. Yeah. But it, it made me insane. It made me like hate what I was doing. My body was hurting. I was finally, you know, divorced and trying to figure out what I was doing with my life. I felt a lot of freedom in like that aspect as far as like my relationship. But then I was like, shit, now I have to start all over. And I was happy about that, but also overwhelmed about it. My job was like confusing to me because I thought it was a dream job. And then my body's hurting and my brain is exploding. And I literally had this moment sitting at the office. desk that I was working at, not doing dental hygiene, but, uh, like other parts of my job. And I like felt like I was having a fricking panic attack or like, like a nervous breakdown. It was so weird. And I just, I remember. Like having this image, I just closed my eyes and it felt like I had like wings that were like busting out of my back. Like I just like thought of myself just like soaring and taking off and just breaking away from all of the shit that I was in. Cause it just felt so heavy. And at the same time, it almost felt like. No, I didn't see it that way. Like I created it all, like I created all these terrible things to feel important, like really, right. It's so weird, like thinking back now. So I, um, I can't, yeah, I was already, I was in therapy. I was doing a lot of stuff and I had this feeling that I was going to lose my job. I like, I had this feeling and it got to the point where. Um, I just, I was saying it to everyone that I that worked. It was like, I don't know, 20 people in the office. It was a bigger, you know, specialty practice that I worked in. And I just told everyone like, like, this is this is this is the end for me. And they're just like, why are you saying that? And now that I know about manifestation, I, I I manifested that I got fired from that job because I flipped out. I had like a actual nervous breakdown. I got really pissed at people and I just like snapped. And then I was. I knew that was like the end of it. So then a few days after that, I was let go for having a shitty attitude and whatever they said that I had, which again, like there's so much good happening in my life, but I just felt like this part of my life, my career, my job, my, Like work that I was doing. It was, I just was like, I don't know if this is the right thing for me. And then I felt like this is all that I wanted. How could this not be? It was just so weird to look at life that way. So then, yeah, I got fired. And that I got fired from, I was actually in dentistry for years before dental hygiene. I worked as that oral surgery assistant for like seven years before I was hygienist, I think I had been a hygienist. So like. I don't know, seven years at that point or something. And, um, my timeline's all over the place. Who knows? I literally have like a note in my phone to tell me like the important dates of like how stuff, my timeline, I don't remember years. I just remember specific details and like what timeframe it was. So, yeah, so I get it. Um, it was just like all these things that were so confusing to me and. I, yeah, I felt like getting fired was probably like the best thing that could have happened and I'm, and I just, I was in the mindset of like, there has to be something better after this because this sucked ass and I'm, I'm like, Shocked, but not shocked that it happened because again, I was saying that it would happen. So of course it happened. And then I felt like a lot of relief, like the darkness that I was really hovering over me in that position. I'm like, well, it's not there anymore and it's lighter. It's still dark. So what am I going to do now? And I could just easily go get another job. But The reason that I got fired from other, like, dental positions was because of, like, the heaviness of drama. Like, drama and me don't get along. And I tried to fit in with, like, and I took part, and I was probably one of the biggest instigators of, like, the negative Nancy Bullshit and closing a door and talking about somebody and wondering what everyone was saying about me. It was like this disgusting loop of grossness that I was sick of being a part of. And I just, I didn't like being fired. I'm like, okay, well now I don't have to fucking take part with that anymore. It's probably easy to get absorbed in that though. Oh, in that environment. Yeah. Yes. Cause it's mostly women. Yes. I learned like in self development, women are so like meeting and wanting to connect that that's one of the easiest ways for us to do it. And that made a lot of sense to me because like, you know, one, one of us says one negative thing and then we all like, Oh my gosh, yeah. And then boom, we're like best friends. So yeah, that was, uh, That is, that is a lot of how it is. And I have a lot of friends still in healthcare that just can't stand it, but it's part of the culture. And I think I've read a book that really helped me see that leadership really helps like drive the bus like away from, you know, just negative BS that a lot of groups of people end up falling into with the negative stuff. So, so yeah, I, um, I lost my job and Um, I was, I mean, dating became kind of my full time job because after my divorce, I was so ready to start becoming like that truer version of me. My therapist is great. She's like, you know, now you can use every date that you go on as like an X, an experiment and an experience you get to see like who you want to be in a relationship and what you how you actually want to feel in a relationship and like start practicing letting go of expectations because I don't know about you, but for me, whenever I met someone. That I became interested in. I immediately was like, could I see myself for the rest of my life with this person? Like it, I don't know why, but my fricking mind just went to like now and forever, like, can't, can I see it happen? And if I couldn't see it happen, then I would just. Like stop being interested in that person. It was so weird how the expectations went just from zero to like death. Well, I think after being married and then, you know, it's hard to, it's scary to invest yourself into new relationships and yeah, you know? Yeah. But I feel like I was always that way. I don't know why. But so I was dating a lot and I really was being super intentional and I started like creating like all these different like filter questions of like what I would ask the guy while I was talking. I was on three different dating apps at the time. It was like, um, okcupidmatch. com and eHarmony. I just, I could literally left the courthouse and I like got onto these dating sites. So I would like just be, you know, obviously connecting with different guys and asking my filter questions, see how far they would get as far as like actually talking on the phone or meeting up. And I didn't want to waste time online. So I was just like, either were. You know, we have similar tastes in life and goals and we meet or we don't. So that, that took up a lot of my time. And then I just went back to, um, what I started doing. Cause when I first graduated, there were no jobs. So I just became a temp hygienist, which was nice. Cause then there's no drama as far as being part of an office and a team, you just go into your job and But it gave me some like time to really think about what I did want to do. Next. And then I meet this amazing guy on, um, a really tiny dating app. I don't know if it's even a thing anymore. It's called, um, coffee meets bagel. And I meet this guy on coffee meets bagel. And his name is Joe. And he was just the most unique guy that I had talked to. And I just felt something different. And next. We had talked for too long, like before we actually met because our schedules just didn't line up. And that was frustrating to me because I don't want to waste my time, you know, and I don't want to waste his, but you know, I was really trying to be more conscious of me and my time and what I wanted. So we finally meet, we go on our first date and I. I was really honest with him and I surprised myself because I was like, look, I just got fired a month ago and I don't really know what I want to do with my career. And I'm telling, he's like, well, tell me about your job. So I told him about what I did and dental hygiene, but also the, this like consulting type of position that I really enjoyed educating patients, talking about like, Their issues and these are the options that they had and helping them learn, like, why are we not doing certain things? And so then Joe's like, um, he's, he's like, um, tell me about, you know, the parts of your job that didn't make sense for you. And so I had this huge long list and he said something like, it just sounds like you don't like what you're doing. And so for him to say that and like, tell me what I was thinking, but I didn't have like the bravery to really look at doing something different. And he, he had already been in self development for a number of years and he's just like, you know, the most expensive thing you could have is a closed mind. So just be open to opportunities. And he just sounded so wise to me because that kind of conversation wasn't happening between me and anyone else that I was actually meeting up with. And it just gave me like this hope and I was like, okay, so what I'm 31 to whatever I was at the time. And I don't know what I want to do. It could be a new thing. It could be great. So, um, he just helped me start trying different things. And I, the first thing he's like, you know, what did you see yourself doing other than this? And I'm like, well, honestly, my first year in dental hygiene school, I'm like, I'd love to teach this. Like I loved like the clinical aspect. I love science. Like the whole just environment at Harper College is where I went to my dental hygiene program. It just was like, it was intriguing for me. So he's like, well, why don't you teach? And I'm like, well, I don't have a bachelor's. And he's like, so do you need one? And I'm like, I don't know. He's like, look it up. So I looked it up and you don't like you can teach continuing education. And he's like, what would you want to teach on? I'm like, well, there's this need in dental hygiene and I have a background in working with dental implants on the surgical side. So he like put, he just like. put together program. And so I started put together program and then he's like, start networking with your, you know, dental friends. And so I started talking to all these different contacts and connections and I put together a continuing education course and I taught that and I like spoke in front of groups for the first time. And that was the scariest thing I had ever like done on my own. Cause public speaking was never Something that I wanted to do or my, like, I wanted to blend into the walls and nobody paid attention to me. Just, I didn't exist. Like that was the old me. And I started like. voluntarily standing up in front of people and talking. It was crazy. Did you like blackout the first day? Oh my gosh. I'll just say I had like the most nervous diarrhea of my life. It was, I, yeah. So the first time I, I totally flopped. Like I lost my voice. I like blanked out. I did. I tried to do the whole, like, just talk from the heart and that did not work for me. I did. I just was trying to be someone that I wasn't. So I did. I totally blanked out in front of standing in front of everyone. So I just kind of like tiptoed behind the podium, looked at my notes and then read verbatim. verbatim from my notes. I did not look up once again and I just couldn't wait for it to be over and it was horrible. It was really horrible. But like I got in the car and I called Joe and I'm like, I did it. It was horrible, but I did it. And he's like, yeah, you did. And he's like, what are you going to do better next time? Like, I'm going to practice more. And he's like, awesome. And he just was like such a great. I don't know, mentor for me. So then, um, after a few more, I'm like, yeah, it's not for me. Like, it was great. I learned a lot, but this is not what I want to do. It's clear. Like, Yeah. Yeah. So then, um, I was really into, um, I was really into volunteering and like donating myself into debt to all these different, um, nonprofit organizations. I'm a huge animal on earth lover. So I was like looking for all these different like animal rescues, environmental groups where I can just donate all my money because I was making great money before I got fired. And, um, And so Joe's like, well, why don't we do some kind of like shop, Shopify store. And so we started Shopify store. We like branded it. We started looking at artwork that we wanted to print on like all different things. And then a percentage of the proceeds would go to my favorite nonprofits. And so then I would be like, I just felt like this is it. Like I'm impacting people with like good messages on like. t shirts and bags and tumblers and yoga mats and like all these things and like something I could stand behind and then I get to like donate to all my places and so I was really stoked and ready for that and it just got to be like so draining and I don't know I just kind of petered out and he said that that happens. But he's like, we gotta keep going and I, I was bitching about it to one of my friends. And she was in the dental industry too, and we were talking about it and then we were both in therapy and then she just recovered from, um, no, she was in the middle of it, breast cancer. And so she was really in the mindset of just helping people learn to live healthier because the type of breast cancer she had was environmental. It wasn't like the gene type. And she really, she just wanted to help me find my own thing. So we basically put our heads together and we both started our own business and healthy living and really just wanted to empower people to do what we keep talking about. Take their power back in their mindset, in their lifestyle. And it just, Made so much sense to me to just do my own thing. And that's what Joe kept saying. He's like, once you do your own thing, like you find out so much more about yourself, but that also sounded so foreign to me because I've been an employee. I've been like told what to do. I actually wanted people to tell me what to do. So I didn't have to think. But that wasn't working anymore. I was resisting all of this like energy within me that wanted to do more. I just wanted to do more. And after Brett dying, I'm like, there's so much more that we can do. Like he did so much with the talents that he had. I'm like, I have to do more. I can't not. I think we forget how many hats we can wear and how many different personas we can portray and businesses we can do. And I think we've just get stuck in a, in a limiting, limiting beliefs and limiting environment. Yeah. Thinking that we can't sustain more success and yeah. Fill our hearts with more love and empowerment. Well, and Joe really, he really helped me see that because I had such a weird. Like just skewed view of making a lot of money. It just from my childhood just was so money and the discussion of it and the lack of it was so prominent that it's like, I just wanted to live humbly, but then I couldn't keep up with the lifestyle that I was wanting to live. So then I was in like. I don't know, a pulled like war within my own thoughts of like how I wanted to view it. And so Joe helped me see that like money is just an extension of who you are. If you want to do good with it, you'll do good with it. If you want to do shit with it, you'll do shit with it. So then that helps kind of shift my mindset of making more and doing more. And I started this, um, mantra and I had like serve more to earn more to give more. And that's just really started to roll out with. Like starting my business being what I like to say now guide on the side. Like I really just started to understand my own physical health. I did this, um, basically, uh, like intuitive, clean eating 30 day plan. And it really changed the feeling in my legs for the first time, like that made the huge difference, but then also my. My mindset and my therapist talked about this, like how food affects your mood. Cause I had asked her so much about all the patients that I was seeing on all these different anti anxiety meds, antidepressants. And I mean, I felt like I was really making a shift with all the different like modalities that she was teaching me and methods and techniques. And I really felt great, but I did feel like there was a missing link. So when I started to change. And become intentional of like what my body was telling me with food I was taking in and how my mind was not so, um, like, um, um, what's like triggered. I get so triggered like if some, I feel like people walked on eggshells around me at one point, at many points at the office that I was at because if people said something wrong like I was a bitch for the rest of the day. Like. And I hated it. I hated feeling that. I hated feeling like I didn't have control over my own like reactions. And I was just like, oh, just letting shit happen versus being thoughtful about it. So when I started eating differently, that was like one of the best feelings was not feeling so triggered all the time and feeling like. That's annoying, but that's not going to take my entire mental state for the rest of the day. Like experiencing the emotions, but not letting the emotions control your, like your, your action. Yes. Yeah. Yes. I'm still working on that big time. Big time. Yeah. Well, it, it, I realized you like having Joe so supportive in my life. I could talk about all of this with him. I was so open with him. He was like the first person I was so open with and talking about just my emotional states and the triggering of them. Like, I didn't even know if he understood what I was talking about because I mean, he wasn't, he's not female. He's like, I feel like. The female emotions are just strong as fuck. Like we, we feel a lot. Oh yeah. Especially, um, during menstrual time, Joel will ask me which version of me is coming out today. Well, and that is a lot of what I shared when I started to feel the difference. With my emotions and our female things that we go through that males don't even know what it feels like. Well, I started to feel a lot easier and not as moody and not as uncomfortable in my own like pain inside of my body. Everything started to change like just general inflammation shifted and I started to feel Like really healthy because I looked really fit and I've, I've, I've learned there's a difference between like health and fitness and like vitality. I felt alive, like I felt like all the things were coming together. It was so cool to feel like good in my own body. I didn't realize how bad I felt. You don't until you start to feel good. Yeah, because it's it was it was it was me. It was the way I was it was who I was You almost get accustomed to always feeling that way. So you just think like, okay, like I hear so many people say Oh, it's just that's what the age that's getting older and I'm like, uh huh. You can prevent that. Yeah You don't have to feel like shit just because of your age. You don't have to look like shit just because of your age Yes. And the, the, I mean, I learned a lot about gut health and there's this naturopathic physician who like spoke at her at her, like, um, for a bunch of us independent consultants in the, in the company. And she had such a gift of like really tying it together, how Of course, what you eat literally gets broken down and forms you like you are not just what you eat, but you are what you absorb and because we are eating so poorly and so toxically and then our and then our people that were hanging out with top are toxic and the things we're listening to are toxic and the way we're talking to ourselves is toxic, like No wonder shit just like literally falls apart and can't absorb the way it's supposed to so like that was so powerful to me like of course like it makes so much sense but why are we not like talking about this in schools and I mean it just blew my mind and I'm like I I feel really called to pass this information on. Because of how changed I felt so and I really owe it a lot of it's Joe because he he believes in me and when the opportunity came, I just kept hearing him say the most expensive thing you can have is a closed mind. So even though everything that I tried, I was so scared to do it. It was scarier to go back to who I was. You know, it was just, I didn't want to feel that shitty anymore, that UES, underlying expected shittiness. It was starting to actually change. So I'm just so grateful for the universe and God aligning me to meet him and, and try this new path that I feel like is as it's supposed to be. I, I evolved to the point where I was scared to, I was so scared to start my own thing and then represent myself. Like that is a very scary thing because I didn't even have self belief, but then the more I tuned in and plugged in to others in the same environment of healthy living, it, it all just supported me to keep growing. My open mind and have develop a growth mindset and then And then it just started to be the way that I started to talk and then Influencing other people to have their own shift like it was just so cool how You really do become like the people you hang around. Yeah. I mean, people don't really realize that your energy extends like 10 feet beyond you. And when you are in a low frequency, that's all you're going to attract. So once you change your reality and your thoughts and you start to create a healthier frequency and a more higher consciousness, you're going to attract. More like minded people. And you're going to network with more like minded people. And all you can do is evolve and grow even more. So it's like, fear is the number one thing that is like, keeps us down. It keeps us not from evolving, but that's like for you, you getting up there and speaking in front of people, that was your first like fear experience, but you did it and it, that was like your first growth moment of like evolving into. There's even more of amazing human being that you are today. Thank you. Yeah. Yeah. It's it's And joe was there because I mean when you first start your own thing you think okay I have to I have to like market myself on social media and I started I just started looking in my own phone and the camera and talking and I just started crying. I'm like, this is not, this is not comfortable. This is gross. I don't like this at all. And he's just like, you don't have to show anybody that just. Keep doing it. And I'm just like, this is stupid. Really? I was just like frustrated. I'm like, this is dumb, but I've learned when you are frustrated and you continue pushing through the, the learning process, like that is where like the magic is. Because that's where you're not giving in and you're not reverting back to that fear, small minded, close minded, previous self. Yeah. If fear wins, you're never going to evolve. You're going to just stay stuck. Yeah. And I think that's the most detrimental thing we can do to ourselves while our time here. Yeah. Yeah. Oh man, we could have, you and I could have remained stuck. In so many places, it's really fucking magical that we Yeah. I am floored. The person I am today. Even if I look back at a year ago, but when I really look back at my whole life pattern of like the way my lifestyle, the way I used to live, the apartments that I used to live and how I live. And I always thought that picking up and moving into a new apartment, like some people think you could just pick up and move, whether it's a new apartment into a new home or a different state or out of the country. That everything's going to just be a fresh start. You know, you are literally the same person and you're carrying all that emotional baggage and trauma with you everywhere you go. Unless you do the mind work and you teach yourself how to fire and rewire your patterns, you're going to just carry on the same way that you always happen. And that's what I did for years. Same for years. Same. Yeah, man. I'm so happy. We are on this side of it. Well, thank you for joining your business and becoming a health and wellness consultant because that's how we connected on a personal level. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Please. Um, so obviously we were connected through your brother but we connected. When I saw you post about your health journey, and this was when I was during COVID when I was going through my health stuff. And I remember I'd started making some changes and I was using some products from another company. And, um, like you, I was extremely fit, but what was going on inside of my body was not healthy, but I was on that path of. Getting there. Yeah. And, um, I remember I reached out to you and I was like, I'm done with these doctors. And you explained to me that got brain connection, eating processed foods, dairy, gluten, you start explaining all this to me. I was like, Oh, okay. So then I went and did the 30 day and A couple weeks into it, I had already noticed a big change and I was like, wow, like, and that's when I started getting into meditation and I started to get a little bit more enlightenment in my life. Um, I was by far, I was far from where I am today, but it was the beginning of my, my journey. And, um, Yeah, the more I started meditating, the more I just started to feel like I can create things in my life. I had never actually calmed my body and my mind down. And so me and Joel had been... Together for maybe seven years at that point. And we were living in the home that he had bought years ago. And it was always his home and he would, um, I think he had rented it out at a couple of times when he had moved out into other homes. So it was kind of always like the house that he would go back to whenever he needed to go there and stay or whatever personal reasons. Um, but I had been living there. Um, we lived there and we moved to Palatine and we moved back to the house, but the house never felt like. Like my home, it was just like his home and out of habit, he would just say, Oh, this is my room, my house. You know what I mean? That's fine. Cause it was, it wasn't mine, but I just, I was so miserable there. I don't know what it was, but I was trying to obviously get out of that miserableness by working out, eating better, um, taking care of my mental health, meditating. And I started. And mind you, I had never manifested, obviously we are manifesting all the time, but I never did the visual visualization and really worked on it. And I remember I started pulling up every day into my driveway, picturing driving up into a different house. I would look out the bedroom window and just pretend I was looking at a different backyard. And I would do that all the time. And I would just envision our life in another home. Well, it would have been, so I've been in this home two years. So it was 2021, Joel was looking for homes on, um, Zillow or whatever. And I remember he was, he had said to me, he goes, Hey babe, I found this house. We got to go look at it tonight. And I was like, okay. And he goes, it was really weird. I randomly clicked on this next button because it wasn't on the list of all the other homes. Because those were all from a realtor and he had clicked on this house and it was for sale by owner. And when I say this is the first time I really can believe in the universe and energy and vibrational like frequencies. I felt it. And it's like, I kind of like pop in my pop in my cherry into like manifestation seriously. So the house that we had lived in, we lived in a court and when Joel's like, all right, we're going to go to this house. It's in the subdivision over here. It's I'm like, okay. And the second we pulled into the court, I literally felt like I was driving, like I was driving into another dimension of my life. The house was like located kind of the same position as the other house was. It was in a court. And I remember walking up and I felt like I was walking into my home, but just in that, in like a higher dimension. And I remember Mason was like, Oh, they have like the same, um, bird fountain that we have. And I was like, okay, this is really fucking weird. We walked into the house and it was just like, The nicest couple. Okay? And I remember just walking through the house and just having this overwhelming sense of like, Oh my God, are we going to like buy this house? Like just all these like emotions and things started happening. And We started talking to the couple and found out that they had actually already bought property right over by one of Joel's restaurants. And then talking to them more, this is like how I know that everything happens for a reason. They used to come into my bar years ago because they had worked at the Seville like down the road. Uh huh. Uh huh. They're like, Oh, yeah, neighborhood. And that's, um, we used to go there after work, blah, blah, blah, blah. And I'm like, Oh my God, this is so weird. So anyways, Mason is like ecstatic in this house. And he was one that was like, I don't ever want to move. He was just not for it. He was overwhelmed with excitement. I remember he had walked outside and he saw like the backyard. It's a huge backyard and he saw that they had a basketball court. He was so excited. He had came into the house and he started throwing up in their bathroom. And this was during COVID. So I'm like, Oh my God, I swear to God, he does not have COVID. I promise you it's not COVID. We were like embarrassed, but they were so nice and whatever. So long story short. I'm currently living in the house that I had manifested and it really opened up my eyes to you can really create a new life. And I know that I had done some of the emotional work and the mind work that my, my soul was ready for an upgrade. And I didn't know you were like this kind of spiritual person when I. Like when we first actually met, like we knew of each other for years, we saw each other from far, we waved to each other, um, even like you're, you hosting at the bar, hosting the bar. annual celebration of Brett's life. I mean, we knew of each other, but we never talked. And we were kind of judgmental of each other actually, because we would never look like we would be friends. Um, and there we are, just, you know, judging our external, the, the cover of the book. But when we finally talked, it was hilarious because we do talk very similarly. And then We, it was a few weeks into the like clean eating and I had this feeling. And I, I've asked you about this a few times. It's so weird though, because I don't, I never called people. I didn't talk on the phone. I wasn't that kind of person, but I got this feeling. When I was at my, um, condo, I just picked up the phone and I called you and you were sitting in the middle of your closet, like packing. And I had no idea about any of the, you know, the house, the manifestation out of that. And you're just like, Holy shit, Courtney. I asked, I think I was just like, how are you feeling? Like, how are you doing on like with clean eating? You're like. It's so much more than that. Like you had tapped into like your emotional, like the physical, emotional, spiritual state. And you were telling me about your house and about me infesting it. And I did not know that you were. Into that kind of stuff because I was trying to meditate or trying to make it a daily thing But I was it was like checking it off the you know, my checklist of things to do Like self care done, you know, but like you were deep in it. So I was that miserable But like you feel like Yeah, getting into clearing out like your your insides with like obviously clean energy clean food and then tapping into your mental and emotional state because of Living a healthier life like were you always manifesting and meditating to that degree before? Like no Healthy living. No, no, no. I was very, very spiritual as a little girl. Yeah. I remember having very strong intuitions with people. My gut instincts with people were always right. I kind of like would predict things almost in a way. And I would have, I just had really strong like I don't know. I could tell what people were thinking, what they were going to say. I just had, but over time that just got, got lost. And until I started changing my diet and calming my body and my mind down with COVID and the quarantines, I was really able to kind of self reflect and really changing my diet. People really don't realize. What you eat is the most important fucking thing you can do. And we live in a country that is so consumed by chemicals and just toxic ingredients and food dyes and artificial things. People don't realize we are meant to be in a low vibe. Like they want us in a low vibration. They don't want us to know that we have a third eye and we can open it and we can see the world in a whole. Different view. Yeah. And it, honestly, that was like the most amazing thing was just knowing that it wasn't medicine. It wasn't this or that it was literally the food that I was consuming. And then once I realized meditating and really starting to understand my thoughts, that's like the most amazing thing is when you really become conscious of your thoughts. Conscious of your subconscious really and well, and I, I think you, you said it really the best ways that when we are so full of man made crap, like AKA food that we think is food, but it's really not because it's literally. Packaged plastic food. It's just like it's a it's a joke, but like when you actually eat food from the earth Um, and it actually clears out a bunch of shit from the fake stuff that's floating around inside of us you can actually think clearly and you can Listen to what your body's telling you and you like I would ask you how's your mind and body feeling and I still ask you that I still ask myself that because it's like, we just need to, we literally just need to like, check in and see where we're at. Yeah. And I, I see the world with different like glasses now, or I took the glasses off. I don't know what is on remote either way, but it's so crazy to feel so connected to yourself through our energy, what we're eating, the people we're surrounding ourself with, and the time that we take. To connect to ourself and the big picture, which is that we are all literally connected by our energy and the higher we create, like the higher vibrational food that we eat, the higher vibrational people we hang around with, the higher vibrational thoughts we are intentionally thinking, like you are, you're hovering in a different realm, a different like field. In the universe, which sounds fucking weird, but it's so true. When you feel it, you, you know, like I'm in a different, once you awaken, it's fucking incredible. Like, and it's not everybody, it's not everybody's 12 o'clock, right? Like in 2011, I had an emergency gallbladder surgery and. I have my, and it was a terrible, like three month debacle of, it was just every problem that could have gone wrong, went wrong. But I remember like getting out of like finally being normal, not having to have like a drain bag on me for months and being able to like eat again. And you know, doctor said, okay, just stay away from fried foods. They, they were very kind of basic on what they told me to stay away from. And I remember I'm like, okay, this is my time. I'm going to get healthy. And this is back in 2011. I'm like, okay, don't have my gallbladder. But they made it sound like that was fine. I don't think it's fine. I think you have your organs for a reason. Um, I would like my gallbladder. I wish I didn't destroy the shit out of it by drinking and eating fucking junk food every day and process fucking crap. But. Um, I thought that, okay, I'm going to be on my health journey. I was nowhere, the environment, the, the guy that I was dating at the time was so toxic. There was no room in my life for me to even think to like start my. journey of mental health and gut health and well, and I mean, so much of what we've learned now in self development is you can't arise, you cannot rise above the opinion of yourself. So like the opinion you had of yourself at that time, and the opinion I had at myself of myself when I was like, You know, before I was getting married and like trying to get healthy too, because I started working out cause my brother died and I'm going to get married. I had very low opinion of myself because I was basing it on what others thought of me because I was really giving that power away versus standing in it and trying to build. Or reconnect within. So, and I think it's on purpose. Like, I think that's the journey of the purpose that we are here is to really, truly, like, fall in love with ourselves and treat ourselves like we are. Like a miracle and we get to choose who we're going to be around and choose what we're going to put in our mouth and what we're going to put in our ears. And I think it's, I don't think it's supposed to be fucking awesome in the beginning and then boring in between and then we die. I think it's supposed to be hard, you know, at different rates of hard and then it's not going to be. A straight line, it's going to be a roller coaster and that gives us the depth and dimension of the fullness of what we're living. Mm hmm. I'm just staring at you. You're so pretty. Your eyes are extra green today. Yours are so blue. I would just, the reason why there was silence was I was just like enamored by her when she talks. Um, well, and you're the reason that we have the podcast. You said it one day. I don't know how long ago. You're so maybe more, you're just like, you should have a podcast. I'm like, well, you want to talk about if I do a podcast, you're doing with me. So I want to tell Courtney shared a little bit of her story of, um, public speaking. My first public speaking experience was my sister's wedding and I was the maid of honor. Um, My biological father, who's now passed, I think it's been about 10 years. God bless. Um, he was there and I had a very strange relationship with my father. So it was kind of, we were in and out of each other's lives. Um, my brother, who I do not have much, I actually don't have any communication with him at all to this day. Um, but him and his wife were at the wedding and an abundance of other people. And obviously being the maid of honor. I had to go up there and speak and I didn't have a speech written. I was already, um, nervous on the party bus knowing that I had to go and speak. So what am I doing? I'm pounding drinks. I remember I had to like walk down with my dad down like, you know, when they introduce everybody and my dad had never seen me drunk before. And those of you that know me, you know what I'm like when I'm very intoxicated. It could be very funny, or it could be very like, um, somebody get her out of here. Um, but I remember I was so scared and I remember just being up there and I had the mic and I think the first word I said was. Fuck. And then I started talking about me and my sister's funny excursions of getting everything ready for her bridal party and her wedding. And I started talking about throwing up diarrhea. I started talking about the weirdest stuff and I just kept swearing. And I remember like, I think I just stopped at one point and I think I looked around everybody and I was just like, Oh fuck. And then the priest came up in like, Did a little prayer after me. And, um, I think that was kind of the opening gate of certain people in my family to cut me out of their lives. Think, you know, and that's fine. That's who I was then, you know what I mean? And I don't, I wouldn't change that day for anything. That's who I was, you know, and even though it wasn't my brightest moment, um, I'm a human being and. It was an awkward day for me, and I consumed alcohol to help calm my nerves. My dad was there and other family members. It was just fucking weird and, sorry, Melissa We, we laugh about it to this day, but, yeah. Well, and it, it just goes to show that you can't, like I honestly, if I meet somebody now that stood out to me doing something like. You know, very different back in the day. I was so changed over time. That I can guarantee whoever they are, they are different now than they were. Yeah. So I think when you experience that kind of fullness in life, it just makes us more like appreciative of how much we can change because change is really the only certain thing that we have in life. It's the only thing it is going to happen. We are all doing it every day. We have the, we have the power to control our change. Whether we want to change out of a negative, bad environment into a more positive, we have that power within us. That's one of the biggest things. Like it's a choice. Everything we do is a choice. When most of my life, I felt like. It was a given, or it was like, there was no, there was no other option. Like you don't see the options when you're in that really stuck mindset. You don't see. Yeah. So to make one small change, even if it's not beneficial, but like, again, you do it anyway and you feel through it, do whatever you have to do to accomplish it or do the best that you can and then just decide it's not right or it doesn't fit or it's not aligning. Like even that gives you so much power. Yeah. One small ripple can really make a big impact in your life. Yeah. Yeah. And two, and it's like through all different periods of our life. And this is something that I've learned to have to do with people, especially owning a bar and having people that are drunk and they get kicked out and they want to come back in. Obviously repeat offenders of being complete dicks in the bar. I don't allow back in. But like, but when it's been a certain amount of time, I have to have compassion for those people. Like, you know what, it's a bar you've been drinking. Um, and people change. Yeah. I don't want people to hold me accountable for who I was 20 years ago. Right. Like, right. I have people in my life that still hold that against me. And it's like, I was a young person hurting, like clearly when you're drunk on stage like that, somebody's not okay. Yeah. Like I was not okay. Yeah. Like rather than like, I get it. It was very comical, like people laughing, but nobody really showed any true concern. It was just like, Oh, that's Megan. But that Megan. needed help. Like I needed, I needed a guide. I needed somebody just like kind of this is the path you need to go down. But I figured it out over time and I wouldn't have it any other way. I mean, it's my life, my story, my journey. Yeah. Yeah. It's amazing. I love our change. Yeah, right. I'm like addicted. I'm addicted too. Yeah, like I'm addicted to how deep I can meditate. Like Joe Dispenza has the best meditations. Yes, you must. Yeah. If you don't know Dr. Joe Dispenza, DJ D, he's awesome. Yeah. But really like I, my, my best friend, me and her are so connected and like, she's in New York and I'm here and I've never, I've never had like real, like I've never had a community. I've always had my couple of best friends and the bar. And so I never had a healthy community. I never had any room for myself. So when I decided to join your company and go alongside and be your, your business partner and health and wellness, it created a community and identity of my own. Cause I was always attached to the bar like, Oh, you're making your neighbor it in or yada, yada, yada. I never had my own life. All my friends were either from the bar or my coworkers and I never had. Anything for my, for myself, this is like, it's becoming normal to me now, but I still like cheer up like, Oh my God, I'm not alone. I have friends like I, I really do believe in quality, not quantity. Like I'd rather have four quarters and a hundred pennies. Yeah. Any given day, you know, but when you're surrounded by strong, impactful women, like you've impacted my life and everybody else in our community, it's impacted her life. And I want to give that gift to so many other people. I know same. Cause I, I, I grew up not having a lot of friends, like just never having that depth of connection that I always craved. But I was so insecure. Um, and then, like, coming into the, the community of people choosing health, like, luckily, Joe was already on the Healthy Living Path. So he was my person, he was like, my partner in it, but to like, create, to like, join thousands of other people around the world, I was like, Oh, it, this does exist. Like this, this, this is what I was looking for as far as like, I want to, I, I want my like surrounding to, that I didn't have to like fight it. I didn't have to like reason things out or have an excuse for being like choosing health. Like I wanted it to just be my new normal. And so then it was, and I was like, holy, how, how, but it's like, I manifested it. Right. It's like, you wake up one day and it's like. You don't fight the urges anymore. It just comes naturally. Yeah, granted it was Halloween yesterday and I ate way too many Hershey bars. So, but yes, 80, 20 baby, 80, 20, 80, 20 lifestyle. I'm more of a 90, 10, but depending on the time of year, I'm 80, 20 get into the holidays. Sometimes 70 40 or 70 30, but yeah, but yeah, having the compassion for ourself, our, our neighbors, each other. I mean, it just, it feels really good to, to choose health and do it with other people that. Really want it. You're not making anybody do it. Everyone comes to you because they want it. They're like something shitty happened. I want to make a change to show me how to do it. Yeah. And I have a hard, that's where I have a hard time because I have such love and compassion for so many people around me who I know that need to make changes, but I know that I can't force it upon people. So sometimes it's hard for me to just sit back and whatever, but I always have my, everybody laughs at me. I always like. Go my little spiels of microplastics and formaldehyde. Well, yeah, I mean, I've learned, I have talked some of my loved ones into making the change and it doesn't last for them, but at the same time it that's, that's life, you know, like we're all gonna step into something, take the two steps back, jump forward, fall on your ass. Like that's, so it's almost like. Like expecting it to, to dip and then who are you going to be in that dip and how long are you going to stay there and who, who, who is going to be your person that you reach up to? Who's going to, what, what are you going to tune into? What are you going to listen to when you're down there so that you know, like feel this, feel this, feel this, and then get out, do something different. It's just hard because it's like, I tell people if I can do it, you know, it's one of those things, if I can do it, you can do it. Like, and then I just say, listen, I used to fucking hate myself. I used to think I was ugly and I started aiming off and I see it like shit. And, you know, I know. And so I can, if I can love myself, so can you, but it's not, I, it's, I just, I love so many people in my life so much that I just want, I want to heal them. And I just want to like, But I'm learning. Me too. This is like a whole learning process that, you know, everybody's on their own clock. Yeah. You know, I'm just grateful that I'm here and Living my life differently and impacting others and really just having the fucking balls to share some really personal embarrassing moments in my life. Like, it's, we all have these moments. And for anyone to relate to any weird thing that we say, like, we're here for you. We are here for you. And I love that you're wearing the sweatshirt that says universe. Absorb, focus, and direct our energy fields. To the universe. I love it. It's got a big mushroom on it, the moon and the sun, and a whole bunch of people just dancing, dancing with good energy. So good. Yeah. All right. Well, thank you everyone for tuning back into the magical midlife crisis, and we will tune into you on the next episode, beep, beep, ha ha. If you made it to the end of this episode, that means you either just appreciate our messy, awkward life experiences, or you're truly up for finding more magic in your life like we are. Definitely tune in every Sunday for more reality shifts that we explore between us and with many special guests that join. If you feel it, please subscribe so you don't miss your seat on our magical earth school bus. Your experience with this show really means a lot to us. So we want to genuinely welcome you to leave an honest review. Your voice matters exactly how it is. You can follow us on social media, check the show notes, and if you really want to get in the action, send us a message directly through our email. We'll connect with you next week.