EP 6: Selfish? I Am Selfish and You Should Be Too!!

Ever been labeled 'selfish' and felt like it's a bad thing?

Let's flip the switch and see the superpower of it instead. In this episode, we're stepping out of societal expectations and into the space of self-care, where being selfish isn't just allowed - it's ENCOURAGED.  From setting healthy boundaries to choosing joy over obligations, we're redefining selfishness as an act of self-love and empowerment.

One of the best ways to flex your selfish muscles is through self-care.

Feeling guilty about taking a day off just for yourself? Let's break those chains of guilt and embrace the joy of treating yourself right. Whether it's taking yourself out on a date, planning a solo vacation, or simply speaking up for your wants, I'll show you how being 'selfish' can make you feel great.

Let's dive into the power of being selfish together!

Thank you for listening to "This Is Some Crazy Sh*T" with Cheron Hamner.

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Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:02

You are listening to. This Is Some Crazy Shit. With Sharon Hamner. This podcast is for you if you are tired of living day to day feeling unfulfilled, you are frustrated and you are doing too much with no return. This is for you if you are ready to take charge of your life, if you are ready to let go of managing other people's insecurities and their expectations and live life your way. Here we have dope conversations about saving yourself, so we can get off these street corners and stop waiting for Captain Saviour Ho. You ready? Let's go, because this is some crazy shit.

Speaker 1: 0:42

So I'm going to tell you something that a lot of people don't know about me, and it is something that was meant to be derogatory, and it's one of the things that I'm so proud of myself for being, and that is selfish, being selfish, and I want to encourage you to be selfish. Growing up, I got that label of being selfish because people would ask me for certain things that I was wearing. I had one aunt. She was always into the jury that I wore. I had another aunt and a cousin who loved the bags that I would carry and they would always ask me for them, to the point where my one cousin she would volunteer to give me a plastic grocery bag for me to put the contents of my purse in, so that she can have my purse. And she was really serious and I'm like, no, I'm not giving you my purse. I didn't want to give up my earrings because those were things that I loved and I enjoyed. Other times that I have been labeled selfish is if I came home for a visit and somebody wanted their hair done and I'm like, no, well, that's just selfish, why wouldn't you do that? And I'm thinking like, well, I'm on vacation. But it really bothered me that I was called selfish and I thought that it was something that I really needed to change. And I have realized that a lot of my superpowers are things that people would say that are negative about me, but being selfish is one of them.

Speaker 1: 3:05

I feel like being selfish is what helped me to go get help with my mental health. Being selfish was something that helped me to get the business that I have. It's because it was something that I wanted and I went after it. When I was diagnosed with depression, nobody in my family even knew that I was going that day to check myself into a mental health institute. I told them afterwards and everyone was shocked and surprised that one. They didn't even realize that I was that far gone into not feeling good about myself and to that I was in a mental health institution and being selfish, taking care of myself, seeing myself first, putting myself first, was one of the best things that I've ever done in my life, and I want to encourage you to look at areas of your life where you have been denying yourself, when you have been doing things because it seems like it's beneficial for you to do it for somebody else but you really don't wanna do it.

Speaker 1: 4:51

And then on the back end, when you do it, you're mad at yourself because you really didn't wanna do it. It's okay. Just acknowledge that. If you don't wanna do it, say no. Acknowledge yourself in the beginning, say no.

Speaker 1: 5:13

I get so frustrated with myself when I go against myself and do things where in the beginning you know was a red flag. You know that you were gonna be mad at yourself for taking on that project, for staying late at work because somebody else didn't plan accordingly for their schedule, and now you're running late to something that you needed to be to. And it's okay if you see that in the beginning and you preserve yourself first and say no. So being selfish is a game changer into helping you set boundaries for your life and not being the sacrificial lamb and being upset with yourself Because, in the end, like, nobody is really gonna like if you do something for someone else and you're mad and upset about it, you're gonna carry that on for a long time, until the next time you see that person and you might be angry and upset and that person has moved on with their life because it hasn't affected them. And we are holding on to too many things within ourselves our health, our bodies and just carrying on so much stuff Because we were afraid to put ourselves first and put ourselves at the front of the line and that stops now. That stops now. That stops. Today, make a decision that putting yourself first is a priority and being selfish is where is that? So make that list of boundaries, of what are the type of Hours that you want to work, what are the hours that you feel like are good for you to spend talking on the phone, what are the events that you enjoy doing and going to, and make those a priority Over other events.

Speaker 1: 7:45

The one thing that I really, really, really loved about the pandemic Was that everybody got to say no to being at family events and family functions that they've hated going to over the years, and we had the excuse of the pandemic to use. And I wonder how many people nowadays are going to those events just because it's Christmas, is Thanksgiving, when deep inside, you really don't want to do those things. And I'm here to tell you that it's okay. You don't need the excuse of a pandemic. You have the excuse of taking care of yourself To use because you just don't want to do that. And it's okay, because a lot of times, we put ourselves into situations where we are Surrounded by family members who have abused us, family members who have traumatized us, and we're just going with the flow just to make everybody else happy, and that's not okay. It's not okay, and you have to take care of yourself. You always have to take care of yourself. So I'm going to encourage you to say no and set some boundaries.

Speaker 1: 9:22

Another way that you can be selfish is Go out by yourself and Take yourself out on a date by yourself. Don't invite anybody else, don't tell anybody else you're going and order Whatever it is that you want and really begin to develop a relationship with with yourself. Buy yourself something nice for this date and and treat yourself golden. Take a vacation. Take yourself on a vacation. When was the last time you went somewhere and During the vacation, you were able to do everything that you wanted to do, versus what the group said that they wanted to do?

Speaker 1: 10:18

I know I've been in past situations where I just kind of go with the flow, with what the group says they want to do and not Speak up for myself, and then I feel frustrated because I wasted my time doing something that I got nothing from, and I Think that it's important to make yourself feel good and everything that you do, so be selfish. Find something today to be selfish about. Hey, sis, you have been listening to. This is some crazy shit. I am Charon Hamner. Make sure you like and subscribe to hear more dope conversations on this podcast. You can check me out on my website at WW dot, charon hamner, comm or all of my social media platforms. I look forward to seeing you in these social media streets. You.