How Our Personality Impacts Our Money Decisions - Part 3

In this episode, the third and final one in a three-part series about how our personality traits influence our money decisions, we discuss the agreeableness and neuroticism traits. 

Learn more about the Big Five Personality Traits on Angela’s website and take the test – it’s FREE. Then, compare your results with your spouse, kids, family, and friends.

Links from this episode

·         How Our Personality Impacts Our Money Decisions – Part 1

·         How Our Personality Impacts Our Money Decisions – Part 2

Contact Life, Love, & Money

·         Tweet your money question to Dr. Angela Kaye @DrAngKLove

·         Email us at angela@angelakayelove.com

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Transcript

Angela: 0:00

You're absolutely not stuck. I have learned over time that I can't please everyone. There is going to be people that do not like me. And I have come to a point in my life of accepting that and saying, I am the person who God created me. I have certain talents and gifts and quirks about me. And there's going to be some people who love that about me. There's going to be some people who don't like me. There's going to be some people who are indifferent. And I just need to be myself. 

Intro: 1:20
This is Life, Love, and Money with Dr. Angela Kaye Love. The podcast for couples who want to get a handle on their finances and strengthen their marriage at the same time. We take deep dives into the money challenges most married couples face and get real about them. Plus, practical tips on how to ensure a rock-solid future for your money and your marriage. Now, Dr. Angela Kaye Love.

Angela: 1:00

Hello. I'm your host, Dr. Angela K Love. 

Phil: 1:03

And I'm Phil Love. Welcome to the Life, Love, and Money podcast. We're coming to you from Sunny, Texas, where it is over 70 degrees today and we are still in the month of January. What do you think about that? 

Angela: 1:16

I am super excited. We just came through a real cold spell, which I think most of the country did. We also had a lot of rain, our Farm Slice ranch is muddy and messy. 

Phil: 1:27

Very muddy and very messy indeed. We've been going over personality traits and how your personality has an impact with your finances. And uses the Big Five personality test. Where can you find that out? 

Angela: 1:41

The big five personality traits tests can be found on my website at angelakayelove.com that's AngelaKayeLove.com. You just scroll down to the middle of the website and click on big five personality traits that will take you to that page and then you can click on the link to take the free test. 

Phil: 2:01

So, the personality test breaks down personalities into five categories that I think you said spell the word ocean. Can you tell us what are those five categories? 

Angela: 2:12

Sure. In our previous podcasts, in parts one and two of the series, we've talked about the O, which is openness, and then C, which is conscientiousness, and then E, which is extroversion. And then today we're going to talk about the A, which is agreeableness, and N which is neuroticism.  

Phil: 2:32

Great! In terms of the first three openness, conscientiousness and extroversion, do you have a small little summary of what each of those are like? 

Angela 2:40

Sure. a person who is high on openness, they tend to be open to new experiences. They are your innovative, creative thinkers. They're open to new ideas, but they will go and research any sort of new suggestion that someone makes a person who is high in conscientiousness. Those are your planner, your organizers. They're very methodical and thoughtful when it comes to processes or making decisions. And then the E for extroversion, those are your outgoing. love to be around a large group of people. They would rather go out with friends and have dinner versus staying home alone and having dinner. 

Phil: 3:17

So, today we start with a for agreeableness. How does an agreeable person approach savings? 

Angela: 3:23

So, a person who is high on agreeableness, they tend to have higher savings. They like to save at discount stores. They're the ones that will go and look for the discounts at a store before they'll go and look for the full-price items. 

Phil: 3:37

And if you have an agreeable person that is on your work team, what will that person be like? 

Angela 3:43

So, someone who is high on agreeableness on a work team, they tend to be the ones that are helpful. They also are patient. They are not your antagonistic folks or rude. They want to go along to get along. 

Phil: 3:56

And then how does an agreeable person approach spending? 

Angela: 3:59

The high agreeableness person doesn't like to spend money. They tend to have a lower income and they're more risk averse. They also have low confidence with investment. They tend to not feel comfortable with spending money, but they will go along with spending money if they're in a group and they want others to like them or to not upset someone else that wants to spend money. When it comes to investments, they will seek out advice and they will go with that person who is giving them advice like a financial planner, and they will be less likely to investigate or to research the advice given to them because of their low confidence in investment. So, they'll go along with what has been told to them versus someone who is high in openness, where They're open to the idea of an investment, but they'll go research it.

Phil: 4:44

Well, if an agreeable person is really kind of reserved and doesn't like to spend is real thrifty, but at the same time they go along with the other dominant personalities in terms of spending. Does this create any sort of conflict when you get an agreeable spouse with, say, an extrovert? And what does that conflict look like? 

Angela: 5:06

Well, sure. someone who's high in agreeableness, they want to go out and be with friends. They want to be the life of the party. They seek satisfaction and being able to spend the money that they have. And if they're married to someone who is high in agreeableness as that person will want to not spend the money if they're focused on that. But they want to be liked and they want to be appreciated and they don't want to cause any sort of conflict, so they'll go along with it. But in doing so, they'll often feel that their needs are not being met or that the person isn't hearing them. If they were to say, well, maybe we shouldn't spend that much money, or maybe we should stay in tonight and not go out to dinner because we're spending a lot on eating out. And so that can start into having some sort of conflict about the way the money is being spent. 

Phil: 5:50

So, the extrovert wants to go out and be the life of the party. The agreeable person wants to be wise with their money and that often leads to conflict.

Angela 5:58

Right. 

Phil: 5:58

Kind of like you said. Are there any other traits of agreeableness that is important when it comes to money?

Angela: 6:05

Sure, because of their low confidence in investments or in spending money, they tend to defer decision-making. They want to go along with the other spouse. And so, they'll put that decision-making over to them because they don't want there to be any conflict. They're the type of person that will say, where do you want to go eat? And if the other spouse says, well, where do you want to go? They'll defer back to the other person. They just have low confidence in making decisions. And that has to do with the fact that they want to be liked or loved by the other person. And so, they'll tend to put off what they truly desire. 

Phil: 6:40

Our last trait that we have is neuroticism. Can you describe what a person looks like who's high in neuroticism? 

Angela 6:48

Someone who is high in neuroticism, they tend to be anxious to deal with depression. They're pessimistic. They have very low confidence, they're not adventurous, they tend to focus more on the negative of things. 

Phil 7:01

Wow. is there anything positive about a neurotic person? 

Angela: 7:04

Well, sure. In a work setting, and even in their personal life, if they were part of a team, they would look at the process that's being suggested and they will look at several steps ahead to see where the process might not work, or which step might be a bad step to take. And they'll voice that but the way that they voice, that may be that's not going to work. and you just have to dig into that to ask them why do you think that's not going to work. And they would be the ones to say, well, in step five or step six, that particular step is not going to work. And then you may have them go a little deeper into the why it won't work and they'll let you know. They are the ones that are looking at the process as it's being suggested, and they're looking at all the steps in the eventual outcome. These individuals can look at how an end user would view or handle the process that's being suggested. 

Phil: 7:57

So, they're kind of able to look down the road and see all the pitfalls and potholes well in advance and be able to kind of try to avoid that. 

Angela: 8:06

Yes, in their marriage they may say, okay, if we charge more debt, if we take on another loan, if we take out another credit card, this is not going to work because of X, Y, or Z. 

Phil: 8:19

How does a neurotic person approach savings? 

Angela: 8:21

They tend to have lower savings because they also want instant gratification. That's the part that overrides them, knowing that if I spend this money, I'm going to go into debt because they have a lot of their self-esteem is tied into spending money. And also a lot of times they'll use money compulsively to help with negative feelings that they're having. 

Phil: 8:44

On the neurotic person, we talked a little bit about how they approach saving and I guess spending as well and work and they're married to, say, someone who is very conscientious, what sort of conflict do you would you expect to see there? 

Angela: 9:00

Well, because someone who is high in neuroticism tends to use compulsive spending to help them feel better about things that they feel bad about that can cause conflict with someone who's high in conscientiousness, who is a planner and organizer, and who is more likely to want to follow a budget. 

Phil: 9:17

If you have a person that's really high in neuroticism, can they change over time so they begin to feel better about themselves or anything like that? And how does that impact them? 

Angela: 9:30

I think anyone with any of these personality traits where it's they're significantly higher or they're higher, one trait versus another can definitely change, especially if it's a part of the personality trait that's causing issues with their money decisions and the way that they view finances. I don't want people to think that, oh, I'm the certain personality trait and that's just who I am and I can't change that at all. We talked about that in the very first episode that we did on this particular topic, and it's more of just becoming aware of, I have this issue, so, if a person realizes their high in a particular trait and one aspect of that trait is contributing to them making bad money decisions, it's not like they're stuck there. They can acknowledge that and then take steps to help them overcome that issue. 

Phil: 10:23

Do you think that each of these traits has some positives and some negatives when it comes to money? 

Angela: 10:28

Absolutely. a person who is high in neuroticism, even though they tend to be a compulsive spender, they do like to help out friends and family. They will give money to friends and family that are in need. They do enjoy shopping and buying clothes and accessories and that sort of thing, which isn't necessarily a bad thing, it's just reining that in so that they don't overspend. 

Phil: 10:49

Do you have any other kind of wrapping up thoughts on these personality traits in how it relates to money that you want to share? 

Angela: 10:55

Sure. I just want to emphasize again that these personality traits are going to vary in levels for each person and in different situations. You might have a low personality trait that goes high because you're now in this situation, whereas it normally wouldn't happen. An example of that is am high in conscientiousness and also agreeableness, more so conscientiousness than agreeableness. But I also have this desire to want to be liked and to have fun with my friends. And so I have found myself in situations where I'm out and I've decided I only want to spend $50 today. But then I get out with my friends and they're spending money and they're buying things, and then I overspend and that used to confuse me because I like the budget or the money plan. And I would try to stay within the confines of what I decided I wanted to spend. And all of a sudden, I would go out and I'm spending more than I wanted to. And I realized after taking this test, the personality test, that my desire to have people like me or to be agreeable or to accommodate would override my desire to be conscientious in that particular situation. 

Phil: 12:09

Can people change over time? Let’s say you have somebody who's young they want to be liked and in their job or with others. And so they're very agreeable. But, you know, over time, as they gain more confidence themselves and how they act, that conscientious thing may really come out to where they kind of morph into more of a conscientious person. Or are these traits such that want you take the test, that's how you're kind of stuck for the rest of your life. What are your thoughts on that? 

Angela: 12:38

You're absolutely not stuck. I have learned over time that I can't please everyone. There is going to be people that do not like me. And I have come to a point in my life of accepting that and saying, I am the person who God created me. I have certain talents and gifts and quirks about me. And there's going to be some people who love that about me. There's going to be some people who don't like me. There's going to be some people who are indifferent. And I just need to be myself. myself. I've learned that it's okay that if you're out with a group of friends, you can say no to things without making a big deal about it. So you can go in and you can just say, Oh, I'm not really in a spending mood today, or I don't really like those outfits well enough to spend money on them or you don't have to say anything at all. Your friends, who really like you and enjoy your company probably are not even paying attention. And they may be high on agreeableness and feel like they have to spend money in order to be liked. And so if you're not spending the money, it takes the pressure off of them as well. So you can change. You're not locked into these personality traits. And also another thing that we talked about, I believe it was in the first episode of the series, is that depending on what's going on in your life, when you take the personality trait test, you may score a little bit higher in a trait. It's not like the test would be wrong that maybe you would score a little bit higher in a trait than you normally would. let's say, you lost your job and you're down and you're depressed and you're anxious about how am I going to take care of my family, Where am I going to get my next job? Are we going to have to move? Am I going to be able to have enough money to pay my bills? You have all of these worries and concerns, even though you've given that over to the Lord, it can be a little bit deflating when you've been fired because that's basically a company saying either we don't have the ability to pay you anymore or to have this position or you didn't meet the requirements that we needed in order to keep you. And that can cause a lot of anxiousness. And so you go take this personality trait test and maybe you rank higher neuroticism than you normally would because of all these things that are going on in your life at the time. But you go out and you get a job and things start to settle down and then a few months later you take the test again and you may find that you're ranking lower in neuroticism because you don't have that anxiety that is related to losing a job. 

Phil: 14:58

A lot of outside factors can impact how you score on the test as well as, you probably your age, your life experiences or self-confidence, anything like that. So that can really move, move you up or down one scale or one of the others, which would impact how you're going to be spending money or saving money or even working. 

Angela: 15:18

Sure. You had mentioned previously about the age part, the experience, and I know that when I was younger, in my teenage years in my early twenties, I had a lot of things going on in my life that were really tough. And during that time I probably was very high in neuroticism. I don't think that that's where I live. I don't think at that time that I lived in that space of neuroticism, but because I had experienced a lot of tough life situations and circumstances at that time throughout my life, I was having a difficult time coping with those things. And so I was a lot more anxious, a lot more depressed. I wouldn't say I was pessimistic. I tended to look at things from an optimistic viewpoint. But at the same time, I was also in this place of, oh, life isn't going to get better. It's it's always bad, it's going to be bad. And if I would have taken this personality test, then I probably would have been very high on neuroticism and also over the years, I have tended to be more of a very high agreeableness person. But with age and life experience and just this change in my circumstances, I've have settled in a place that's more of who I am. So I don't struggle with the anxiety, those things that I experienced as a child and in my teen age and and in my college years, I have dealt with those things. so my reaction to those things has dwindled a lot lower. But when it comes to agreeableness, that has taken me a very long time to get to a point where I'm not always overly accommodating, not always agreeing to everything that everybody else wants to do if I don't want to do it. Not always saying yes, I've entered a space where I'm okay if someone doesn't like me. 

Phil 17:00

So, if you have spouses who have different personality traits and obviously we've talked about how that has impact on how you approach money. Do you see that as a constant source of arguments and fighting with spouses based on those differences? 

Angela: 17:16

I don't think that the differences in personality traits are necessarily this, okay, we're always going to have fights and we're always going to have arguments. If you don't understand your spouse and where they come from, how they think about things, what their motivations are, and particularly what drives them from a personality perspective, that can cause misunderstanding. For example, let's say you have a spouse that's high in extroversion. They like to go out. They like to spend time with friends because they get a lot of energy from that. the other spouse who's not high in extroversion, may struggle with that for a variety of reasons. They may feel like, Oh, my spouse doesn't love me. They always want to be around other people. My spouse doesn't care about our finances. They just want to go out and spend money all the time. They just don't understand that their spouse has a need to just be around other people. They find energy from that. And so that can be confusing to a spouse. but once a person understands, oh, my spouse they enjoy being around people they love to eat out, there's things that you can do to go, okay, I want to help meet that need. But at the same time, I don't want to blow the budget And I realize it's not something that's against me personally. They just like to be around other people. 

Phil: 18:28

If you have two spouses, so you have two conscientious spouses, does that mean that it's just all smooth sailing when it comes to money? 

Angela: 18:36

Not necessarily. And the reason that is, is within each of the five personality traits, you have subcategories. Those can vary I don't think that there's two spouses who are exactly or identically alike in their personality traits. example, you and I are both high on conscientiousness. I think that is our highest trait. We still have conflict at times and I think that's because I tend to be very low on openness and you tend to be very high on openness. we are those people who are both really high in conscientiousness, but because you're high on openness and I'm low on openness and then I'm higher on agreeableness than you are that right there can cause some conflict in how we view things and how we manage things and how we go about making decisions. 

Phil 19:22

Is there anything else she can think about you want to cover on the personality traits? 

Angela: 19:26

The only other thing that I would say is that when you're doing the personality traits, it's the five categories of openness, conscientiousness, extroversion, agreeableness, and neuroticism. But within those five categories, there's subcategories, and it makes for a total of 120 different personality types overall. 

Phil: 19:45

Wow. That's a lot, 

Angela: 19:47

Right. And then based on what's going on in your life or external factors such as a sudden illness, a car accident, a job loss, those types of things, it can change, you something that we're low end can change and become higher during that time period. So stress can really have an impact on how we react or respond to something. 

Phil: 20:08

All right. Well, great, folks, we want to thank you for listening to the Life Love and Money podcast as we've gone over personality types and how they impact your spending savings work general overall approach to money. And can you tell the folks out there if they want to subscribe and get notices of new episodes, how they do that? 

Angela: 20:28

You would just click the subscribe button on the podcast app that you're using. You can also subscribe to my email list at angelakayelove.com, that's angelakayelove.com. Just scroll to the bottom and click on the email list and subscribe to that and you will get a notification about new episodes. 

Phil: 20:49

All right. Well thank you folks for listening today and we look forward to seeing you on the next episode.