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The Modern Moms Roadmap to Balance Podcast
Is it really possible to find balance as a mom? Each week, I'll be bringing you inspiring chats, interviews, and dialogues all based around helping moms like you unlock their potential and lead the balanced life they want. If you enjoy listening to topics that help you lead a more balanced life, then you've come to the right place. I'm obsessed with helping moms lead the life they want without the guilt.
With the right information and support, you can find balance in motherhood without sacrificing your needs.
The Modern Moms Roadmap to Balance Podcast
Episode 52: Parenting, Productivity, and Play: The Art of Family Systems with Special Guest Lindsay Garrett, LCSW-S
Feeling like your family life could use a bit more structure and balance? In Episode 52 of The Modern Moms Roadmap to Balance, Kayla welcomes Lindsay Garrett, LCSW-S, owner of Indigo Therapy and an expert in fostering thriving family dynamics. Lindsay brings her expertise in play therapy and her real-world experience as a mom to the table, offering practical, actionable advice for navigating the chaos of parenting.
In this candid conversation, Lindsay shares how systems transformed her household and made co-parenting with her husband a true partnership. From family meetings with set agendas to shared Google calendars and collaborative chore management, Lindsay provides tips that are easy to implement and designed to reduce stress for both parents and kids. Whether you’re juggling multiple responsibilities or simply trying to survive the dinner rush, these strategies will inspire you to work smarter, not harder.
The episode also dives into the neuroscience of play and how unstructured time is vital for kids’ development. Lindsay unpacks her family’s mission statement and values—tools that guide decision-making and help prioritize what matters most. Plus, learn how to set boundaries, navigate shared responsibilities, and challenge traditional gender roles in parenting to create a more equitable and supportive family dynamic.
For moms who feel overwhelmed by the mental load or find themselves gatekeeping responsibilities, Lindsay offers encouragement to let go of perfectionism and trust in their partners. Her insights extend beyond parenting into maintaining balance and joy in all areas of life.
This episode is perfect for parents seeking practical advice, a little humor, and a lot of validation. Ready to reclaim balance and harmony in your home? Tune in now!
Helpful Links:
Website: https://www.indigotherapytx.org/
Social Media Handles
@thetherapistbookworm on IG
About the Podcast Host
Kayla Nettleton is a licensed therapist based in TX, business owner, mom of 3 kids and coach for therapists who want support and guidance in their journey in creating an aligned business model so that they can live the freedom based life they've always dreamed of without sacrificing their own needs.
In her private practice as a therapist Kayla specialize in helping women overcome anxiety, perfectionism and people pleasing tendencies so that they can lead a more fulfilled and authentically aligned life
Find Kayla on IG
@kaylanettleton_lcsw
@themodernmomsroadmaptobalance
Email: kayla@kaylanettleton.com
TX Residents can Schedule a Free 20 minute therapy consultation here.
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Hello, hello, everyone. And welcome back to the Modern Moms Roadmap to Balance podcast. I'm your host, Kayla Nettleton. And today our special guest is Lindsay Garrett. She is an LCSWS and owns Indigo Therapy, a private practice in Hearst, Texas. Lindsay's Jam is helping parents be the best they can be and go from drowning to thriving, and also using the neuroscience of play and regulation to help kids process hard things. Lindsay loves posting up in a coffee shop with her bullet journal, anything color coded, driving people into being friends with her through her main big goods and watching as much TV as her small humans will allow her. Welcome Lindsay.
Lindsay Garrett:Hi Kayla. I'm excited to be here.
Kayla Nettleton:Yeah, I'm also a huge TV fan. What are you watching right now?
Lindsay Garrett:Oh, um, I'm finishing the back half of Emily in Paris. Okay. Yeah. And then my husband and I just started watching a new Apple TV show called Bad Monkey that has that spawn in it.
Okay.
Lindsay Garrett:It's very fun. Lots of like witty banter and like weird humor. I do mostly comedies cause I do enough of the serious stuff at work. So okay.
Kayla Nettleton:I do enjoy comedies here and there. Okay. But I'm not, like, a sitcom person, so there was, like, lots of people who loved The Office. I could never get into The Office. That was just, like, those types of shows.
Lindsay Garrett:It was too cringy for me, but I love all the rest of like those creators, like love Parks and Rec, love Brooklyn Nine Nine, The Good Place, all of that. So
Kayla Nettleton:yeah, I do, I do love Brooklyn Nine Nine for some reason. I think it's because of the dad jokes, maybe like most of their jokes are like dad jokes. Uh, yeah. And so, I finished watching Emily in Paris. I loved the second half way more than I did the first. So I was excited about that. I'm excited to see where the show goes. And then my husband and I have been watching Game of Thrones. He had watched it a long time ago and then finished it without me. I mean, we watched it together for like the first season and maybe the second season. And then he just kind of went along and then I never watched it by myself. So we started over and we're watching that together. All right. Yeah, but so what is your definition of a balanced life just to get into the show?
Lindsay Garrett:Yes, I would say my definition of a balanced life is Being able to do both all of the things you have to do and also The things that you want to do I think when we get out of balance, it's when we're only focusing on the things we have to do, or, maybe we're avoiding the things we have to do and only focusing on the things we want to do. Or we've gone down a rabbit hole that is neither. But having that balance is, kind of being on top of your stuff as much as we can. But also getting to do things that are just for you, that you enjoy, that bring you joy and pleasure.
Kayla Nettleton:Yeah. And you're a big systems person, right? Like you like to have systems and use those and implement them. That has helped you to create a balanced life. And for context, Lindsay and I had a coffee chat probably a month ago now, a few weeks ago. So this is how I know if you're like, where did that come from? Yes. So tell us a little bit more about that.
Lindsay Garrett:Yes. So my personality is very type a I'm an Enneagram one, if anyone does Enneagram so I love it. First of all, I love any like structure that I can implement. It just brings me comfort. But I also love working smarter, not harder. So if there's any way I can make something like more streamlined or efficient, or just like not have to. Think about it. That is the thing that I try to do in my personal life and professional life. I mean, as therapists, I have the system set up where my clients can schedule their appointments themselves once they're established. So I've eliminated all of the back and forth of like, well, are you available this day? Are you available this day? Well, not that like, I'm not doing any of that work anymore. They just go in and they do it and then we're done. So I use those things at home as well. So systems, my husband and I have implemented around running our household and managing kids stuff that have been really helpful. And when I mentioned them to other people, they're like, That's a great idea. I've never
thought
Kayla Nettleton:of that. Yeah. so talk a little bit more about what exactly. Those systems are, but first, what led you to input these systems into your, like, your home life? I know for a lot of us, it's easy to think, oh yeah, I have these systems in my work or in my business, but that doesn't always translate into our, home.
Lindsay Garrett:Yeah. Probably started when we got married. So before we got married we're doing all the marriage prep. We got married in the Catholic church. So we had to do like the required prep, which was like, total bullshit. And just like, you know, weird gender roles And then I was like, well, that was bad. Let's also do one with a therapist. My husband is a really good sport. So he said, sure. So we did the Oh, I think it's the preparing rich. So we did that where you like take the test and you see your different roles. But as we were going into being married, we were having a lot of discussions because I did not want us to divide responsibilities by just. Gender roles
Kayla Nettleton (2):and, Mm-Hmm,
Lindsay Garrett:Also I am like the doer in our relationship, so if things were just kind of left to fall where they were, I would just end up doing a lot more. Okay. Yeah. And I also didn't want that because that was gonna make me really resentful eventually. So that's kind of where it started and we started implementing some systems at that point. Like we have a weekly family meeting where we have. literally an agenda, like you would for
a work
Lindsay Garrett:meeting where we, talk through our schedules for the week. And we talk about any financial things or things that are coming up that we need to get done. and then we kind of decided how we wanted to divvy up certain household chores. Like he does all our laundry. Like wash dry, but he hates folding and putting it away. So he washed dries and I fold and put it away. And we used to alternate weekly, but we shifted to monthly who cooks dinner. So now like every other month that swaps,
um,
Lindsay Garrett:which is one of my favorite ones, because it's like a whole month of not having to think about what's for dinner.
Kayla Nettleton:Yeah. And it's like, I know in the book by Eve Brodsky,
Lindsay Garrett:Fair play.
Kayla Nettleton:I hear that a lot. Fair play. So she talks about this exactly what you're talking about in terms of, so he cooks dinner and you just said, like, I don't have to worry about what we're having for dinner. Does that mean he also like does the grocery shopping, make the list and then, okay, cool. Yeah. You're responsible for dinner. Miss that step in terms of if this person is cooking dinner, they must also be in charge of these other things because they're the only ones who knows like what they need.
Lindsay Garrett:So we made a family Google calendar. And that's where all our stuff goes, that like, everybody needs to know about. And if it's not on the calendar, it doesn't exist. Yeah.
Kayla Nettleton:I love that it's just Google calendar, right? so it's just using what you kind of already know and have and you don't have to go and get this whole separate app for this fancy thing that costs money or whatever. It's, these are some basic things that you probably already use on a day to day. Yeah, so we
Lindsay Garrett:use Google Calendar for that. in the early days, it was some of my husband being like, when are we doing this thing? And me being like, I don't know, have you looked at the calendar? What does it say? Yeah. But now it's just like a machine. We also use Google Keep, which is Google's list making. App that we use for grocery lists or even for like brainstorming stuff and you can share it with each other and it just updates in real time. So now we have a system of like, Hey, I'm going to the grocery store today. If there's anything that we need to put it on the list. And it even saves our grocery lists. And when you check something off, it doesn't disappear. It just like moves it to the bottom. So if we're going to the grocery store, you can go through our list and all of the things that we regularly get are still on there. And you just uncheck them to make them
happen.
Lindsay Garrett:Oh, wow. Instead of like starting from scratch every time thinking about what do I need from the grocery store?
Kayla Nettleton:Yeah. So that's, I guess highlights the difference between having it in like a Google doc and having it in this Google key in terms of kids. Okay. Okay. That that's so much more helpful. Cause I was just thinking, Oh, how was that different than a Google doc? It sounds like, but it makes sense.
Lindsay Garrett:Yeah. You can also add like photos. there's been times where, my husband's going to the grocery store and I need something like tampons or whatever or like that. I need a very specific kind of like a makeup product or something. Add links or photos and be like this exact one. So that you're not doing the, you know, we've probably all had the experience of our partner calling from the store and being like, which one, what is it called?
Kayla Nettleton:Yes. Yes. And I think that's part of the reason why some women will not give up that specific task is because they don't want that to happen. And then they're like, oh, well, I'll be wasting more time anyways, trying to answer all of his questions, but that already would. Help mitigate that.
Lindsay Garrett:Well, that's a good point too. I think when I started doing my kids prep many years ago, well, not that many, my oldest is almost seven, but I learned about the concept of gatekeeping.
Hmm.
Kayla Nettleton:Are you familiar with this? Yes. I mean, I understand the concept of gatekeeping, like in general, how people gatekeep information, but go ahead and explain. Yeah.
Lindsay Garrett:So it's a concept that I learned in the context of parenting. And I think it also exists a lot in the context of cisgendered hetero marriages where, we want our partner to do the things, but we also want them done a certain way. And we're not. able to or willing to experience the discomfort of allowing them to do it wrong or do it differently.
Yeah.
Lindsay Garrett:I'll give an example. So like we divvied up our laundry. Well you know, women's clothes do this really fun thing where you can't dry half of them. Right. So were I doing the laundry, I just know all the clothes that I'm not allowed to dry. And I will remember which ones and I'll like pull them out of the washer. Right. Yeah, the air dry. Well, my husband doesn't know that and he's never going to remember them all because they're not his and it's not that important to him. He's just like clothes, wash, dry. So after a couple of instances of my clothes getting ruined, we had to like have a discussion about like, okay, this is a problem. How are we going to handle that? And I didn't want the solution to be now I'm doing the laundry.
Oh
Lindsay Garrett:yeah. So we came up with a solution of we made a separate like laundry basket that was just stuff that can't be dried. And so all of that stuff went in there. And so he knew that like, okay, this entire load of laundry can't be put in the dryer.
Kayla Nettleton:Wow. Yeah. I would have never thought of that because we've had the similar situation. And what I did was I didn't take. control of the laundry. I just said, I'll wash these clothes. Even though I was already making the separate pile because that was my wash pile when I could have just put it in a different basket. Like, okay, this is the basket that you don't put in the dryer. How funny. Yes, yes. And you, I don't know if you recognize this, you probably do, but you have a lot of awareness. In what it is that you want to happen, what it is that you don't want to happen. Like you said, I didn't want to be the one to do the laundry. Like that wasn't going to be the solution. I don't think a lot of people go in with that. I think they go in with like, I don't know the solution. I'm just going to have to do it.
Lindsay Garrett:Yeah. So I, I agree with you. It is a bit of a shifted mindset of thinking about what are my boundaries? What capacity do I have? Cause it's not, you know, it's not like something you set once and it works forever. You're constantly having to kind of negotiate and adjust and problem solve, especially when you got kids into the mix. And figuring out what am I willing to do? What am I able to do? And then working together as a team to be able to come up with a solution that works. For both of you and for whatever season you're in.
Kayla Nettleton:Yeah. What has helped your clients in becoming aware of those things? Because I find that it's hard to let go of certain tasks that. You really just don't have the capacity to do, like, that's the one thing that's kind of draining you, but they're thinking yeah, but I'm the only one who can do this the right way. like what's coming to mind is like maybe putting the kids to bed or this, you know, this child only wants me to do it. So it's always going to have to be me.
Lindsay Garrett:I think it's going to be different for everyone because it depends on your priorities. So let's use that as an example. That is my life. I am the preferred parent because I'm obviously the best, which is a blessing and a curse.
Kayla Nettleton:But
Lindsay Garrett:we have two kids and we alternate putting them to bed. Because we, when we had the second kid, we talked about it and decided we both want to bedtime is a connection time. So we both want to be able to have that time with each child. So this is the system we came up with we rotate every night. Our kids know that we actually have little hangers on their doors that tell them whose night it is. However, every single night, whoever gets dead. Complaints about it. but I think that's deciding what is the priority with that situation. So, like, we decided. My husband and I, as parents and partners ahead of time, like our priority is having this connection time with both of our kids. So this is what we're going to do. And then we communicated that. And even when they're complaining, we hold the boundary of like, I know you would rather have mom right now, but it's a dad night. And mom will put you to bed tomorrow night. Are there compromises sometimes? Absolutely. Do I read a kid a book? Okay. As like a little compromise. Do we swap sometimes if somebody had a really rough day yes. But for the most part we hold the back. So I think a lot of parents one may not do that first piece where they talk about it before they ever get to the kids.
Yeah.
Lindsay Garrett:So there's not this, we're on the same team and this is what we're doing. Baseline. And then they just get there And it's the end of the day and we're all tired and we just wanted to fucking go to bed. Yeah. We just give in to whatever. Right. Oh yeah. And then you do it over and over and over. And then that just becomes the system because that's what you've done a million times.
Kayla Nettleton:it's usually a mom that's a preferred parent and it ends up being mom who does everything. Cause that's who the kids want. Mm. Hmm. But there also has to be a
Lindsay Garrett:certain level of trust in your partner that they can handle it and a certain level of your partner stepping up. Like if your partner is going to come get you every time, then that's not going to work.
Kayla Nettleton:Like
Lindsay Garrett:they have to be able to hold the boundary too.
Kayla Nettleton:Yeah, yeah, and I want to highlight here too that you have many conversations with your partner at least Weekly at least I'm sure you have more you had conversations at the start This is very important For not just the marriage, your relationship, also for the, how the, your household is run one person, even if they are not working, cannot run the household on their own. It needs to be a partnership. Yes, that does remind me when
Lindsay Garrett:we were hashing this out before we got married. One of the big things we decided on is we both wanted to be able to run our household, do everything in our household if needed. So that if one of us is at a town, if something were to happen to one of us, like both of us know all the nuts and bolts and administrative stuff that goes into our family and our household.
Kayla Nettleton:Yeah. And people don't, they, I don't say, I don't want to say they don't want to take the time, but they don't make those conversations a priority
Lindsay Garrett:because that's where I feel like it's choose your heart. Like, do you want to do the work here at frat or do you want to do the work afterwards? Like what work do you want to do?
Kayla Nettleton:Yes.
Lindsay Garrett:And it is easier to do ahead of time than it is to kind of back up.
Kayla Nettleton:It is, but more people are resistant to doing it ahead of time, right? Like there are studies that show there's less people who go to like marriage preparation Then they are to go like once problems start. Preventative versus like in the moment crisis or it doesn't even have to be a crisis, but stuff is falling apart, breaking down. Yeah.
Lindsay Garrett:that makes no sense to me because I have a huge.
Kayla Nettleton:Yeah. Yeah. Like you can't wrap your mind around, but I see it happening all of the time. Yeah. And so the other thing too is going back to the calendar piece because I love that you said, okay, well, can you check the calendar? Because your partner's learning from you, right? Like, I don't want to say you're training your partner, but you are in terms of their learning in how you're responding to them. If you were going to tell them what's on the calendar, every time they ask, they're going to continue to ask you versus Hey, check the calendar. Eventually they're going to be like, Oh yeah, I have to check the calendar. Like, she's not going to tell me like, this is not a conscious thought process, but they're going to learn to just check the calendar because it's easier than asking you.
Lindsay Garrett:But I've also had those conversations. I think you have to have the logistical conversations, but then you have to have what's underneath the logistics. You have to have the conversation of like, when you're asking me these things that you can very easily look up, It's making me the keeper of all the information I don't have, I either don't want to do that, but I don't have the mental capacity to do that. When you ask like what's the starting point of being able to offload some of this stuff, a lot of it is just making the implicit explicit. I think sometimes our partners don't know all the things that we're keeping in our head. They don't know that cooking dinner also means planning what we're going to make, going to the grocery store, knowing what the kids will eat, you know, figuring out cleanup afterward. Yeah. So you have to actually go through all of those little things and make them very out in the open. Before you can even divvy up. There's a concept that Brené Brown uses. I think it's in her dare to lead book that's focused around like the workplace. But she calls it paint done. So when you're talking about a task or project, they go, okay, we'll paint done. That means what does that look like when that's done? That looks like this and this and this and this. So like the laundry paint done for me would be like separate all the colors and wash each one separately and fold them this certain way and hang the hanging clothes and put things in their drawers and their cute little dividers and all of that. Paint done for my husband would be like wash everything on cold, dry it, Don't fold any of the underwear. And then just hang everything up. It's fine.
So it's different,
Lindsay Garrett:right? Our ideas of completing that task are different. Which he is. Got me to stop folding my underwear because that was a waste of time, but I always did it because that's just how I learned growing up. So not only having the conversation of who does what, but what is even the, what that we're doing?
Kayla Nettleton:Yeah. Yes. I I'm glad that you brought that up in terms of like, now I don't feel my underwear. That was just something I learned. I had a client and she was giving her children a bath every day. And I was like, why, why are you doing that? She was like, I don't know. I just thought that that was what you did. I said, do you, do you take a bath every day? No, I don't. I don't take a shower every day. You do not have to give your children a bath every day either. She goes, thank you. Sometimes we have to start just bringing like whatever we're doing into awareness because sometimes we don't even know that we are accidentally making things harder for ourselves.
Lindsay Garrett:Yeah. We just get an autopilot and we do the thing.
Kayla Nettleton:Yeah. And so she felt like she was fighting with her children and then she realized like, Oh, I can just be like, okay, we'll do this tomorrow. So that time became so much easier for her. It wasn't like, Oh, we have to have a bath every single day. It was like, Oh, well, if we don't get a bath today, it's fine. We can do it tomorrow or the next day. And it was breaking that down. Like, what is the most important thing for you? Like, what is the absolute minimum that they have to take a bath? And she figured out what worked for her and that's what she's going with.
Lindsay Garrett:Yeah. So there are people that it's important to them, their kid takes a bath every day. So if that's important to you, knock yourself out, but if it's not, why are you doing extra work?
Kayla Nettleton:Oh, yeah. Like my oldest is in sports and he sweats like, oh, yes. We're
Lindsay Garrett:sitting down. Yes. We're, we're currently in second summer in Texas. Still 90 degrees. Yeah.
Kayla Nettleton:Yeah. So he takes more showers than like my little ones who are not doing those sports. And that's just kind of how it is. and we may reframe it in terms of like, you're probably going to sleep a lot more comfortable than being covered in sweat and saltiness.
Yeah.
Kayla Nettleton:so you were talking about Google calendar and Google keep, what other systems do you have in your home?
Lindsay Garrett:Yes. So those are ones that we implemented, around the time. We got married or engaged when we moved in together, merged households. And then we have others that we implemented when we had kids.
Okay.
Lindsay Garrett:So when we had our first child, again, lots of these conversations you say people don't do marriage prep. They also don't do parent prep so much. So there are not really programs that exist for that. So I wrote a book about it. Because I wanted that information
Kayla Nettleton (2):and
Lindsay Garrett:I'm in the process of developing that into an actual course that I'm planning to do in person and then hopefully online eventually for parents to like have these discussions ahead of
time.
Lindsay Garrett:So we talked about things like with our first baby, I was playing the breastfeed that ended up working out. So we talked about, during that newborn phase where all you're doing is feeding them.
Yes.
Lindsay Garrett:Like my job is feeding the baby and recovering physically.
Like those are my things.
Lindsay Garrett:And my husband's job was everything else. So we had that discussion ahead of time so that when the time came, we already knew. What everybody's job was, and we weren't trying to negotiate that, you know, at 2 a. m. when neither one of us had slept and I had just given birth. Yeah. One of the more recent ones that we've implemented which has been my favorite, and I tell everyone about it. When both our kids started school, and both were in school, you get all the emails, you have to download all the apps, you have to do like a second part time job to manage all those. And I was like, no, thank you. I do not like this because guess who they email even if you give them both parents emails.
Kayla Nettleton:Oh, yeah, they
Lindsay Garrett:mom
Lindsay Garrett:Only mom. So I decided when it was one kid, it was like, okay. And I would do the like reply all like, please copy my husband on these emails. So I got sick of doing that. So we decided we were going to make a family email. And so we have an email address that is, mostly for kids stuff, but we used it, like we bought a new house recently and we just did everything through that email. So it's a Gmail account. We both have access to it. We both see it at the same time. So kids, sports, girl scouts, school stuff like anything that shared that we both need to keep track of and see at the same time goes to that email. So I've eliminated the, having to ask people to copy my husband on emails and then whoever sees it first deals with it.
Yeah. Okay. Okay.
Kayla Nettleton:And that's great because it takes a, A lot of energy to keep putting, like, please copy my husband in this email. Like, sure. It maybe takes less than five seconds, but having to do that over and over and over and over again, gets annoying. Or like, I can't even
Lindsay Garrett:imagine. We did this when our oldest started kindergarten. So like public school, I can't even imagine the amount of work it takes if only one parent is getting the information from school, just to relay that information. To the printer. That's like an everyday thing. Yes. That sounds terrible. I don't want to do that.
Kayla Nettleton:No. And I love it. And I love how you're like, so that's not what I want to do. I think women need to be more empowered to be able to say like, I don't want to do that. It's okay if you don't want to do that. Let's figure out how we can take that off your plate. Let's figure out how. You can get your partner involved, but you first have to say what it is that you don't want. Yeah. You have to know what your boundaries are. Yeah. Yes, absolutely. And it takes some time to figure that out, giving yourself some space. And I know that can feel Overwhelming and thinking like I already have all of this stuff that I need to do. How am I going to fit my own time into my schedule?
Lindsay Garrett:But if you take things off your plate, you'll have time.
Kayla Nettleton:Yes. Yes. What about for people who are like, I feel like all of this stuff is important, but when it comes to their kids, like all of their stuff is important. How do I prioritize everything when it feels important? Yeah. So.
Lindsay Garrett:One of the exercises that my husband and I did that said my book and I actually do have an online course right now is creating a mission statement and values for our family and for parenting. So. We actually made a statement just like a company would like, what is our overarching goal? What are we working toward? And then fleshed out underneath that, what are our values?
So
Lindsay Garrett:this is the mission statement we came up with when our youngest was one is when we had this conversation to be the best guy for my child as they discover who they are, what they love and how to become a functioning adult. That's the big statement. And it's still pretty much applies now. our oldest is almost seven and then we also have four year olds, two kids now, so applying to both of them. And then we have shout the values are encouraging independent exploration and play. Developing life skills, developing their identity, and then having healthy sleep habits. So this is like the filter that we run everything. Yeah. Okay. So encouraging independent exploration and play. I believe, you know, I'm a therapist. We do a million things in child development. Like I believe that free play is absolutely vital for kids. So that means after school or on the weekends, we intentionally are not over scheduling our kids. So they have time to just hang out and play. We play with kids in the neighborhood. We play outside, we go to parks. Like that is what we prioritize as a family, because we have decided that that's important to us. Other families may decide that like academic success is really important and that is the thing they value. So those might be the kids that are taking a foreign language or doing extra school work or, you know
yeah,
Lindsay Garrett:their activities are very academic focus. That's going to be different than what our life looks like. Having healthy sleep habits is also one that's really important to our family because I need sleep. It's mostly because I need sleep, honestly. But also our kids need sleep. Like my We do. Almost 7 year old still naps occasionally. If she's had a busy couple of days, she'll fall asleep. She napped solidly. She was five, like, she was just a kid that didn't get that rest.
Yeah.
Lindsay Garrett:so like my four year old is in preschool. He only goes to preschool three days a week because they don't nap in his class and he needs a recovery day. in between to be able to sleep. So having healthy sleep habits may help make our decision about, how often does he go to preschool as well as what can we afford and what are our schedules like and all of that. That was a big part of it because that's a value for our family. That also means we don't keep our kids up past their bedtime. Like very rarely does that happen. Which means we don't do a whole lot of stuff in the evenings, especially on school nights.
Okay. Yeah.
Lindsay Garrett:So it helps you kind of whittle down what is the priority? And then because of that, what do I have to say no to?
Hmm.
Lindsay Garrett:Can't prioritize everything. I'll give an example of one thing that's not on our list, but I feel like is on a list for a lot of parents is having very balanced, healthy food. especially at early days of babyhood then like started all of that. So many Parents, so many moms, it's usually moms that I know are, making baby food from scratch and getting all organic and all of that. And like, I did the making baby food thing when I one kid, when I'm a second kid, I was like, here are all the packages. Yeah. Oh yeah. So like, that is not on our list of values. do I make sure my children are fed? Absolutely. Do they eat chicken nuggets almost every day? Absolutely.
Yep. Because my
Lindsay Garrett:kid is not one of my values for
Kayla Nettleton:lunch every day.
Lindsay Garrett:Yeah.
Kayla Nettleton:Yeah.
Lindsay Garrett:To put all of my energy and effort into that one, because I just don't enjoy it. Like my sister loves to cook.
That's like a
Lindsay Garrett:stress reliever for her. So she does a lot of meal prep. It's just like full breakfast for her kids every day. My kids have granola bars and milk for breakfast while they watch TV in the morning because that's when I need to drink coffee to be a nice human
before
Lindsay Garrett:I can really interact with them.
Yes.
Lindsay Garrett:But we have different values and priorities in that area. yes, my children still have to eat because they have to, to stay alive, but I'm not putting a lot of energy and time and mental work into, figuring out new things for them to try or, you know, buying all organic stuff and factoring that into my finances. Like that's just not one of our family's values, but for another family, that might be really important.
Kayla Nettleton:Yes. Absolutely. I can see that. even a few of my friends like pop into my head about how that is the value for them, whether or not they acknowledge it.
Lindsay Garrett:So the first step is defiant, kind of defining what are those big things? Cause you might already have them. You're just not naming them. Yes. Most of us already have them. And then once you define them, and I encourage people to keep it under five because everything can't be important. That's the point. Once you define them, then you know what you can let slide. You know what you can say no to.
Kayla Nettleton:Yes. And I think this is also important too, because you're taking ownership of the decisions that you're making and this is your decision and not decisions coming from like, Oh, well, this is what we did when I was growing up. Or this is what worked for my mom or, you know, my husband's mom or whatever, like you're taking ownership and what works, how you want your family to be, to engage with the world, basically.
I don't
Kayla Nettleton:want to say like how your family is run, but how, I mean, yeah. Okay. Yeah. How it's run, how it flows, functions. There we go. Yeah.
Lindsay Garrett:Yeah. It's feeling empowered enough to create your own path instead of just doing autopilot or doing whatever society tells you you should be doing or doing whatever your parents did or whatever your spouse's parents did. Oh, yeah. Your kids seem to want that. Yes.
Kayla Nettleton:Yes. And, and being able to the support when needed. So sometimes this is really difficult to do just on your own. It's okay to hire a therapist or a coach to help walk you through this process. There's nothing wrong with needing an extra set of eyes or even just like that outside person who is not in your life. Who can help you to see things a little bit more clearly because sometimes we can't see things very clearly because we're so in it.
Lindsay Garrett:Yes. And it can get so muddled. Like what is something that's important to me versus what the world is telling me should be important versus my childhood baggage that I'm still carrying around and haven't worked through yet versus what my partner thinks is important that I've now taken on as well. Like it can get tricky.
Kayla Nettleton:Mhm. Yeah. So we are about running out of time, but can you talk a little bit more about who you work with, how you work with them, and what's the best place to like find you or get in contact with you?
Lindsay Garrett:Yes. So I work with parents, kids, teens, adults. my background is in adoption and foster care. So I love working with people in the adoption community. I also really love working with the LGBTQ community. My mom is gay, so I grew up in that community. And that is just kind of like a personal passion of mine and I really like doing the hard stuff with kids. I use a play therapy method called synergetic play therapy that's based in neuroscience and regulation. It's much more interactive than just Like typical play therapy it was really designed for kids that have been through trauma, but you can use it with
any kid.
Lindsay Garrett:But I really love working with parents on, how to flesh out all of this stuff and kind of live their best lives as parents because being a parent is really hard and no one really teaches us how to do it.
No.
Lindsay Garrett:And connecting the dots between, you know, their history and their relationship with their parents and then how they want their relationship with their kids to be and then actually how to get there.
Kayla Nettleton:Hmm. Awesome. And if anyone's listening right now and they're living in Texas and they want to work with you, what's the best way to get in contact with you?
Lindsay Garrett:Probably my website. It's IndigoTherapyTX. org and that has all my info and all the specialties that I work with, where my office is, all that jazz. Take all the major insurances, Cedna, Aetna, United, BCPS. I'm also licensed in Arizona, so I can do virtual in Arizona. I only do virtual with adults in like very older teens, case by case.
Kayla Nettleton:Okay, awesome. And then the answer to my next question, they do not have to be in the Hearst area to work with you.
Lindsay Garrett:No for kids, yes, because virtual sessions with children is terrible.
I like
Lindsay Garrett:literally did one With a client I was already seeing, it was just like scheduling and they're like, can we just try virtual this week just to like fit one in? And like, one, it's just like not effective. Especially with the type of therapy I do. And two, I was like, I'm a throw up. I'm a throw up from this child being like, look at my room. I'm like, Oh, which project I'm going to puke. I'm going to puke in the middle of this session. It's going to get real weird. Never again.
Kayla Nettleton:Oh my gosh. How funny. Yeah. Well, thank you so much, Lindsay, for taking the time to come and chat with us and share some of the systems that you use and what works for you in your household.
Lindsay Garrett:Yes, you're welcome. Thank you for having me. This was fun. I love podcasts. It's like, let's skip all the small talk and just talk about nitty gritty things. Oh yeah. Yeah. I was going to mention the mission statement and values. I think that I went over, I have like a little worksheet that goes with that. If you want me to send that to you and then you can share it.
Kayla Nettleton:Yeah. Yeah. we can link that up in the show notes for sure. Okay, well thank you so much for joining and I hope y'all have a great rest of your week.