Episode 60: Introducing a Special Series: Love After Kids

Does marriage feel like another thing on your to-do list? You’re not alone. In this special series of The Modern Moms Roadmap to Balance, Kayla dives into the challenges moms face in balancing romantic relationships with the chaos of motherhood. From tackling resentment to rebuilding intimacy after kids, this series is here to give you the tools and mindset shifts you need for a thriving partnership.

In this series, Kayla will share:

• Why marriage can feel harder than it should—and how to change that.
• How a supportive relationship can transform your life as a mom.
• The power of learning skills you were never taught.

Your marriage doesn’t have to feel like a struggle. Let’s start the journey toward deeper connection and balance.

About the Podcast Host
Kayla Nettleton is a licensed TX-based therapist, business owner, mom of 3, and marketing coach for therapists.

In her private practice, Kayla helps women break free from cycles of anxiety, perfectionism, and people-pleasing. Her holistic approach guides clients toward authentic, fulfilling lives by reconnecting with their intuition, setting boundaries, and building confidence.

Kayla also works with couples, especially parents balancing marriage and family. She offers both traditional couples therapy and focused intensives (6 to 18 hours) to help partners address key issues like communication, trust, and intimacy.

Through empathy and effective therapeutic tools, Kayla helps couples reconnect, thrive, and create healthier, more supportive relationships—benefiting the entire family. Her practice transforms self-doubt and disconnection into growth, healing, and lasting change.

Find Kayla on IG
@therapy.with.kayla

Email: kayla@kaylanettleton.com

Free Consultation: Schedule a Free 20 minute therapy consultation here.

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Transcript

kayla-nettleton_1_01-27-2025_133852: 1:02

Hello, hello everyone and welcome back to the Modern Moms Roadmap to Balance podcast. I'm your host Kayla Nettleton and today I'm very excited to introduce this new series that has been on my heart for a really long time. And the reason for that is, because I am also a couples therapist and the work that I've been doing with couples has been Incredibly life changing, not just for the couples that I work with, but also for myself as a mom and a therapist, because what I have noticed is a lot of the clients that I have are also parents and many of them struggle with how do we give as much attention to our marriage that we have given to our children because For some reason, well, I mean, not for some reason, but when we have children, our marriage and our relationships, even the relationships we have with ourselves, they get pushed to the back burner because we've been taught, and especially as moms, we've been taught that our attention needs to go to others. And our attention really needs to go to our children if we're going to be good mothers. Because if we're not a good mother, then we're going to totally mess our children up. So we can't give anything else attention but our kids. So not only do we lose Ourself and our own identity. We end up also losing that connection that we once had with our partners, because we've been so focused on trying not to mess up our kids. And this is kind of where this new series has stemmed from, from me. And if you haven't already guessed, this special series is all about marriage and relationships, specifically romantic relationships, and how to balance that on top of the role of being a mom. So if you've ever felt like your marriage It gets put on the back burner because of life with kids or work and everything else is overwhelming. You're not alone. It happens to so many of us, and I want to break down some of these barriers that have kept us stuck from connecting with our partner in a way that allows us to both feel supported and seen. Because when your relationship feels solid, it's so much easier to face life's challenges. And a healthy marriage isn't just about the two of you. It supports your mental health, your parenting, and your overall well being. So this was really kind of the aha moment for me. Working with some of my clients and just even my clients who we weren't working on the couple, but working on some stuff individually is when the couple is strong, when mom is feeling very supported in the partnership, she thrives. So that is one of the main reasons why I'm even bringing this. Into the podcast, this special series is because I believe that when we have strong, supportive relationships with our spouses, with our longtime partners, us as moms are going to be healthy, we're going to thrive, We're going to feel safe enough to engage with the things that we're passionate about and rule the world. As cheesy as that sounds, but we're going to be able to thrive when we have healthy partnerships. And I want this series to be able to Be a place for you to turn to when you're feeling stuck in your relationship, when you feel like you're the only one who is going through this thing, because I promise you, you are not the only one who is feeling this way. I myself have felt this way, especially early on in my relationship with my now husband. We've been together for 11 years. married in 2018, but we, got together in 2014. I'm kind of like doing all this mental math in my head because our son is 10. Oh, no, he's not 10 yet. Sorry. He's 9. He'll be 10 in August, but Our relationship kind of happened in like a chaotic manner and I got pregnant within like the first few months of dating my now husband. And when this happens, you're not forced to make a choice. I feel like now you are, but. You have to make a choice of, am I sticking with this person because I know a two parent household is best, or am I sticking with this person because I'm in this position where no one's going to want me anymore, or do I have actual feelings for this person? And so I love them and I'm going to stick with them and choose to marry them. And for me, honestly, there was a mix of all of those things. so when you start a relationship and it's a bit chaotic, you're not always in the best place to connect. Because you're really not on the same page, and that feeling can feel really disempowering. It can feel like you're stuck in this circumstance, and there's no way out. And I'm here to tell you that you don't have to be stuck. I realized that there were qualities in my partner that I did love and was attracted to. That was the reason why I started a relationship with him in the first place. And when I gave myself a chance to really focus on those things, and granted, side note, there was no kinds of abuse or anything like that. And I know sometimes people are put into unsafe situations and this was not that, but I gave myself the opportunity to look at the strengths that my partner did have. And I leaned into those strengths. And I know probably listening with VBeat on the other end, you're like, well, I don't see any of the strengths my partner has. There's a reason you were, attracted to your partner in the first place, and not just physical attraction. There were likely other things that led you to connect with your partner. And it's remembering those things. And focusing on those things that are going to help you to connect better with your partner. Those are the smaller steps that will allow you to start breaking some of these patterns that you at this moment might not realize that you have. And no, it's not your sole job as mom, wife, or mother to do all of this work. But sometimes when we pay attention to the hand we have in our relationship. and the work we need to do within our relationship. It can be so much easier for you to have your partner want to do the same. And I'm not saying like you have to convince them, but oftentimes when we see our partner growing and they're inviting us to grow with them, it can be hard to say no. And I want part of this to be a place where you get to make choices and decisions. Because for me in the beginning, I did not feel like I had a choice or decisions. I felt like the choice that I had to make was to be with my partner and I'm getting emotional because I love him so much. And I am so grateful that I stuck through this hard times that we had. and we moved through all of the mistakes because they were some big mistakes. And we are now so connected, he sees me and I see him, and I want that for you too. I want you to feel so connected to your partner and so supportive that everything that has happened in the past, the mistakes you, both of you made, are just a tiny part of you. Piece of your story because the mistakes that have been made in your relationship do not have to define them and so this is not about trying to fix a broken marriage or Avoiding conflict. I want this to be Helping you to learn skills So that you can build connection and show up for each other. And many of these episodes are going to be episodes where you might want to share with your partner. You might want to go through this series together. Yes. Most of the episodes are going to be from a mom's perspective, but the intention is to help you and your partner get closer, gain new skills, And be a better version of yourself for each other because you both deserve better. And I don't want this to feel like another thing on your to do list. I don't want you to feel like you have to walk on eggshells around your partner. And if there's something going on within your marriage, I want you to know that it's not your fault. You and your partner likely have not been given the tools. Or were taught how to have a healthy and successful marriage. You were not taught how to have communication where you were both heard and understood. And I want this to be a space where you can learn some of those things, where you can take something and use it in your everyday life. This isn't just going to be a podcast series where we're just like venting and complaining about our experiences. This is definitely going to be a show where we talk about our experience. And also talk about what we've learned from and what we used to help us move through our own struggles and our own rough patches within our marriages and relationship. So some of the topics that you can look forward to within the series are communication skills that actually work, rebuilding intimacy after kids, tackling resentment and unmet needs. Parenting as a team and conflict resolution that brings you closer and there's definitely going to be a mix of guest experts, solo episodes, and of course, there's always going to be some practical tools in each episode that you can use. try with your partner. I'll be sharing insights, actionable steps, and of course, bringing in some incredible guests to help us navigate this journey together. these guests are not just going to be professionals. Some of these guests are going to be moms who have gone through rough patches within their own marriages and how they've been able to. mend and repair and grow from those experiences. But as we start to close, I want to just leave you with some questions to ask yourself I want you to think about one thing you love to feel differently about in your relationship. Is it feeling closer, communicating better? Or just being on the same team. Again, wherever you are right now, it's never too late to create the kind of partnership that you want. Your marriage doesn't have to feel like a struggle. With the right tools and mindset, it can become one of the most supportive and fulfilling parts of your life. I invite you subscribe to the show so that you never miss an episode, and if right now you feel like you're ready to start making changes. I encourage you to reach out and schedule a free consultation. You can find the link to that in the show notes and let's start working together to create that relationship that you deserve. And I will see you in the next episode.