The Sweet Resilience of Baking with Ayo of Tabi Cakes & Tabi Luxe

The warmth of a freshly baked cake often carries more than just the promise of a sweet treat; it's a gateway to myriad stories and a testament to the resilience of the human spirit. Ayo, the heart behind Tabi Cakes and Tabi Luxe, joins us to weave a narrative that's as delightful and complex as her confections. Her journey – an intertwining of life as a diplomat's child in Austria, her vibrant Nigerian heritage, and her current chapter in the UK – unfolds to reveal insights into the delicate balance of her roles as a mother, wife, and entrepreneur, all while maintaining a zest for life and a penchant for laughter.

Running a cake business is no cakewalk, especially in the throes of a global pandemic. This episode slices into the sweet and the bitter of entrepreneurship as Ayo shares her evolution from a necessity-baker for her kids to becoming a social media sensation, thanks to a serendipitous color challenge and a push from a friend. Her tales of cake aesthetics, drawn from the world of fashion, and the critical choices that have defined her brand are not just icing on the proverbial cake. They are heartfelt lessons in thriving amidst adversity and finding balance between success and well-being.

And while the kitchen might be the heart of the home, friendships are the soul of business. Ayo and I reminisce on the power of having a supportive tribe, discussing how these relationships can be as essential as the most well-crafted recipe. We share candid experiences of resilience through friendship, akin to tales from my book. Our chat concludes on the sweet promise of the Cake Therapy Foundation – an endeavor to sprinkle hope and entrepreneurial skills among girls, using the therapeutic craft of baking as a vessel for empowerment and change. Join us for an episode that's rich with the flavors of life, love, and the pursuit of happiness, oven-fresh for your heart and ears.

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Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:03

Welcome to the Cake Therapy Podcast a slice of joy and healing, with your host, Dr Altricia Foster. This is a heartwarming and uplifting space that celebrates the transformative power of baking therapy. The conversations will be a delightful blend of inspirational stories, expert insights and practical baking tips. Of inspirational stories, expert insights and practical baking tips, Each episode will take listeners on a journey of self-discovery, emotional healing and connection through the therapeutic art of baking. There's something here for everyone, so lock in and let's get into it.

Speaker 2: 0:40

Hi everyone, this is Dr Alshersha Foster, again from Cake Therapy Podcast. Today we have an exciting guest and I usually, you know, tell my listeners that the guest is their slice of joy and healing, because that's what we're promoting in this space, and today we have none other than Ayo A-J-O. Did I pronounce that right? Ayo Noyo.

Speaker 3: 1:06

A-J-O. Did I pronounce that?

Speaker 2: 1:08

right, ayo. No, it's A-J-O, a-j-o. You know what? My husband and I were in the car and I said to him it's A-J-O. And he said no, it's A-J-O. And I was like no, that doesn't sound good. You shouldn't listen. I know, I know I shouldn't listen because he's more. You know, like I mentioned, like he's half. Nigerian a little bit watered down, but he's a Yoruba guy. Yeah, I should have just listened to him. So welcome, ayo, welcome.

Speaker 3: 1:42

Thank you. Thank you for having me.

Speaker 2: 1:44

Yeah, so welcome, ayo, welcome. Thank you. Thank you for having me. Yeah, so for our listeners, ayo is the owner of Tabby Cakes and now Tabby Lux, and I've been watching her. I've been watching her space grow because, guess what, ayo is the queen of reels and I've enjoyed watching her because she's brought like so much joy to the people in this space and through her baking and, trust me, she makes some killer cakes, thank you. So I wanted her into this place to kind of talk to her about who she is. How did she get here, like you know?

Speaker 2: 2:20

so welcome to this space, welcome thank you so much I love, I love you, I love your work and I I remember how excited I got when I saw you in canada and I'm like hey, so girl tell us, I love that so much.

Speaker 3: 2:37

I love that. Thank you so much. Thank you. Thank you for having me um. Why right? So what? What do you want to know? Where should I start?

Speaker 2: 2:44

yeah, start like who is? Ayo, I mean, there's more than.

Speaker 3: 2:48

Tabby, you know, yes, I somehow I still don't know how to answer that question. Like, even in like formal interviews, I still struggle with answering that question. There's just so many parts of me, um, but yeah, well, I'm Ayo. Um, I live in the UK. Um, I'm 39, I'm gonna be 40 in December, I know, um, I'm, I'm a wife, I'm a friend, I'm a mom, I'm a baker, I'm a program manager, I am. I, just, I love life, I love to laugh, I love food. Um, I've got a sweet tooth. Uh, yeah, I love to travel when I can. My kids are a bit older now so they don't need me as much, so it's time to explore the world. Um, so, yeah, that's, that's pretty much it. Um, if you ask me a question, yes, so so were you born um.

Speaker 2: 3:50

Were you born in in the uk, um I know? You have nigerian heritage, so yes, weird.

Speaker 3: 3:59

Um, I was born in austria, in, in in europe, um, so my, my parents would were diplomats, so I moved around um a lot. Um, so I've been. This is always kind of when I introduce myself and kind of like a what's it called? In a party I can't remember the name, but then so I've been to 17 schools, um, in my lifetime, which is a lot more than most people have. So, yeah, so I was born in Austria and I spent, I think, my whole life. I spent about five years in Nigeria. I moved back when I got married for a little while and then I thought no, this isn't for me, and I came back to the UK, but I spent most of my life in the UK okay, well, good yeah so what?

Speaker 2: 4:48

about Nigeria that you thought wasn't good, was it?

Speaker 3: 4:51

you know so so I moved to Nigeria as an adult. Um, so okay, exactly. So it's kind of different when you know you go there, you've got your poems, you've got. So I've moved there and and I tried to have a business there. I did a bit of event planning and it was just the wrong climate for me. I I'm a planner in my head and there's just too many things that go could go wrong every day. It's too much of a hustle culture and I'm like oh, this is too much.

Speaker 3: 5:22

I on holiday, it's the best place. I love Nigeria, but to live it's a completely different situation.

Speaker 2: 5:32

Yeah, it sounds like you. You have like somewhat of an OCD. Are you OCD? Would you consider yourself as someone who is an OCD person, who has to have everything in order for it to work?

Speaker 3: 5:45

No, Well, you can't really be that and be a baker? I don't think, because then you'll go crazy.

Speaker 2: 5:52

Yeah.

Speaker 3: 5:54

But I do kind of like to know what tomorrow would look like. Okay, at least tomorrow, yeah. So there's a joke I have with my husband. You know, sometimes, like every day, when I come out up my house here, I know my car is going to start. I have no doubt that my car is going to start. But in Nigeria sometimes the car just like, nope, not today, I don't want to, and then the whole day is just wrong because of that one thing that's happened.

Speaker 2: 6:20

Yeah.

Speaker 3: 6:21

And you know, there's, there's, there's almost no options. I mean, there's a transport system system, but it's not kind of the same as here. Yeah, um. So yeah, it's. It's not so much of OCD, it's more of there's too many things that can go wrong in that country at the same time, it's all about systems working, systems working, that's the one. That's the one, yeah.

Speaker 2: 6:44

So you did mention that you were more into event planning. What types of events were you planning?

Speaker 3: 6:54

Yeah, so I worked with this. I think she's the most popular event planner in Africa. Her name is Funke Bakno. So in Nigeria, like when you finish, finish uni, you have to serve the country for a year. It's called something called NYSE. So I went back to Nigeria to do NYSE and somehow I was sent to her company. Um, so yeah, she, she kind of plans like you know, the president's ministry, v v v v, vip, okay, planner, she's like an interest, great uh, and that's how I started so, um, from there, and then she started like a decor arm and then I started to run that. So I worked with her for two years or three, I can't remember, and that's kind of how I started. Um, but yeah, so the kinds of events was like really super luxurious, super for the super, super, super rich people in Nigeria okay, that's good.

Speaker 2: 7:50

So do you think, um you were into this super luxe space, um do you think your love for baking these luxe looking cakes? It started there, like, where did where did this? Where did tabby cake develop, did it, you know?

Speaker 3: 8:08

yeah. So tabby cakes, developed kind of out of necessity, but my, my kind of the art was, I would say, kind of started from there. So, backstory um, I've got two kids and, um, when my daughter turned one, I ordered a cake from some baker online and when I got the cake I was so mad it was, it was awful, it was just terrible. It was literally, you know, you know when you put the pictures, what I ordered versus what I got. It was terrible. And I said myself there's no way I can be worse than this person, so I'm just going to bake my kids cakes by myself. So then I tried and of course it was worse than that cake and I thought, okay, it's not that easy, is it? And also, from, I didn't understand at the time why cakes were so expensive. And they weren't even expensive. It was just, I'm not going to pay 100 pounds for that. It's only cake and it's only eggs and sugar. And you know, that was that, honestly, that was my mentality right beginning. So I thought, well, it can't be that hard, it's just, you know, follow a recipe and do it. Obviously not that. Um, so my daughter, she turned one. I hated the cake and then I thought I'm just going to do it, and then of course I couldn't and then, but then I figured I actually liked it.

Speaker 3: 9:33

Now, for me, um, I, I, I enjoy transitions. So turning all these things butter and sugar into a cake, that that never gets old for me, that just always fascinates me. You know how everything comes together from scratch. So I could I could never use a box mix, there's nothing wrong with that but then I could, I just really love the whole. This is how it started. And then I've done, anyway, I, I, I started kind of you know YouTube videos and that, and of course that also didn't work. So I took a course and, um, I had a friend who paid for a course because I think you like this, so just do it. And then she paid for a course. And then another friend of mine, she bought me my first Kenwood mixer and then it's like, okay, well, we're invested now, so you have to do this properly and yes, we get you some good friends.

Speaker 3: 10:28

Um, so my two friends, one paid for my course, for a baking and decorating course, and the other one bought me a mixer. And I've not looked back since okay, that's awesome, that sounds good.

Speaker 2: 10:41

So you, you still work in IT I do, I do, yes, yeah tell me how, how, the duality like what's the difference between cake and it? Or do you find any similarities that you know? That keeps you going, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 3: 11:00

So, um, there are many similarities, um, because I work as a program manager right now and many times I have to start a project from scratch. So someone has a vision in their head and they've said well, I want to build this thing for this purpose, and then my team and I have to figure out what they mean exactly and bring that to life. So in many ways it's when, like when a bride comes to me and says I want a cake, and we have to work together to figure out what that cake's going to look like yeah now there's every possibility that they might completely hate it at the end or they might just completely love it because you've gone over and beyond, so in and it's the listening.

Speaker 3: 11:48

So I need to understand, in my nine to five in IT, I need to understand what my stakeholders want. I need to know exactly what they want. They need to give me details. When I click on this, it's going to do this. When this happens and that happens when I put in a password, then it opens this up. So those are the kinds of things that I have to do and consider every day in the cake world. I have to also know you know baking powder always has to be this much, and you know there's there's sciences to this.

Speaker 3: 12:20

But then also working with customers is similar to working with my stakeholders at work, because of what they want and you know and the business needs. So in many ways they're similar but then at the same time they're completely different. So at work it's formal, it's work, but then when it's a cake, it's the happiest day of someone's life, which is two completely different emotions some people's profit, some people it's just pure emotions. Um, and I think that's where I can kind of work in both areas, because then I get to experience both, both areas and I just love doing both. Um, but so most of the time, because most events are kind of weekends and I work fully remote, I don't go into the office at all, um, so I get to do my cake, sometimes while I'm even in the meeting, as long as my camera's off or whatever, just make some flowers and whatnot, but most of the time flowers I'm sorry, not flowers um, cakes are on weekends, so it doesn't really affect it and I'm still a home baker. I don't have a shop or anything yet.

Speaker 2: 13:30

So, yeah, it just works out so you say you don't have a shop yet. Is that, is that the plan? Is that the end for you?

Speaker 3: 13:38

yes, it will be. It will I. I really, really enjoy, um, baking and decorating. No, I don't enjoy baking, I enjoy decorating cakes. So I would love a studio and also just where my business is going in terms of the Lux brand. You know perception, expectations. I'm going to charge a certain amount for cakes. They are going to want a full experience, so that's where I'm going to charge a certain amount for cakes. They are going to want a full experience, so that's where I'm going.

Speaker 2: 14:08

So I love that, because I did notice that you did. There is a transition for you from Tabby just Tabby's Cakes to Tabby Lux. But who is Tabby Like? Where did you get this name from? Right, Because I'm sure you have people.

Speaker 3: 14:29

DMing you hi, tabby, right, so my name isn't Tabby. I just nowadays I just kind of say, okay, yes, my name is Tabby. It's too hard to explain, but my children are Tayo and Toby and I just kind of mashed up both their names. It's pretty, pretty simple, but many people think I'm Tabitha and so that's fine, yeah no, but we're tell me about.

Speaker 2: 14:50

Tell me about Tabi's brand, like where did you see it being this big?

Speaker 3: 14:57

no, where did you where?

Speaker 2: 14:59

did you think it was gonna go and tell me about, like, where you see it going?

Speaker 3: 15:04

right, okay, that's a great question. So, um, when I started um, I guess I started from need, because I was going to bake my children's cakes it was too expensive not, it's not like I couldn't afford it, but I just didn't value cakes that much right um, I've never been kind of like a birthday we I, I've never had a birthday party. It's just not my thing yeah um, but my kids love them.

Speaker 3: 15:27

So I thought, okay, well, I'm gonna start making their birthday cakes. And when people, people, just seem to like the taste of my cakes, and then I thought, okay, well, I'll start. You know, my, my first ever cake that I sold was to my friend and she just said, well, it's my daughter's birthday, do whatever you want, I'm gonna give you 70 pounds, that's all I have.

Speaker 3: 15:45

And I was like, oh, okay, and that's how that was literally my first customer yeah now, when I took the course the course my friend paid for it was at the end of 2019, so I had only just started to get new customers, get a few baby showers here and there, and then COVID hit in 2020 in March.

Speaker 3: 16:09

So I had I had almost no practice. It was just kind of family and friends, and then I started to kind of post my little bits and bobs on Instagram. But everyone around me in my kind of local area needed that people still people's birthdays, isn't it? So they didn't have a choice because other bakeries were closed. Yeah, so it would just be hashtag cake in London and are you open? Can you make a cake? And I'm like sure. So I got to practice on many, many cakes over. So for my business, covid was a blessing because I got tons of customers and they didn't have a choice. So you get what you get.

Speaker 2: 16:55

I was like that right, you get what you get you get what you get.

Speaker 3: 16:58

So I would you know practice and practice. I made so many mistakes. I was charging next to nothing, but I got the practice in right um. So I would kind of charge 50 pounds for an eight inch cake. It was, but of course I still had my nine to five, so it wasn't really paying my bills, but I was getting the practice in yeah um, and then I got all my frustrations that I I needed, and again there was nothing else to do.

Speaker 3: 17:26

So that's when I started to make these reels about what, what I'm going through in the cake world, and it just seemed like, oh wow, everyone could relate to that and that's how I slowly started to kind of build on.

Speaker 3: 17:39

You know, tabby yeah and then I was like, okay, well, it's great that people are following me, but I still don't know what I want to do. I was making oreo, was those cookie treats? I was making cupcakes. I was making I cakes. I was doing everything okay, but I hated doing everything. I just only liked making cake. But you know, I was still figuring out who I was. And then, when the world kind of opened a little bit, I had to leave London and move out just outside of London and to Hertfordshire, where I am now, and I had no customers again. It was kind of back to square one, because you know how cakes are.

Speaker 3: 18:20

It's not like I can ship a cake, it's yeah they most people kind of have to be local to me, but no one knew me here, um, and so it was a crossroad. So it's either I I make my cakes that good that people are going to travel to find me, or start to just improve myself and figure out what I wanted to do. So then I didn't know what to do and my sister was like well, why don't you just challenge yourself and say I don't know, let's make a challenge and do a color challenge. And I thought, well, she said, yeah, just make a, just start to make colorful cakes and let that be your thing. And I was like huh, and I was like I don't even really like colors. So she said well, figure it out. And then I I was, you know, just making cake.

Speaker 3: 19:10

One day I made buttercream and, um, I fell asleep. I put it in the fridge, it was rock hard, so I put it in the microwave. I never forget it was blue. I put it in the microwave and I brought it out and of course it was too long, but then it had turned a nice bright blue and that's how I learned how to make these bright colors right. So it was a nice big, bright blue and I thought, oh, I put it back in the fridge. I'm like, okay, it looks like I'm onto something.

Speaker 3: 19:39

And then I started to practice and practice, and practice and I told everyone that ordered a cake after that look, I'm gonna make your cake any color I want. If you hate it, then don't pay me. And that's kind of how I started. Luckily, no one ever said they hated it, right. Um, it was always just, oh my god, I love it, I love it. And, and most of the most of the times, I got my colors from, like Pinterest, from fashion influencers and how they would match their colors. And that's how I started to match my colors. So, like a red and a green, I'm like, oh, it looks nice in an outfit, it can't look that bad in a cake, right? That's how that kind of started oh, that's amazing yeah.

Speaker 3: 20:16

So I just started to match colors that way, match flowers that way, but it's still now. I was selling a lot of cakes and I was. And then I started to teach classes, but I was tired. I was working Monday to Sunday, you know. I was working all different time zones. I had students in the States and Australia. It was. It was too.

Speaker 3: 20:36

I was burnt out and I thought I can't, I can't do this, it's just too much. It was great in terms of money, but I was just tired. So then I thought I need to figure out how to make more money from this or just quit, because it was, it was getting too much. And that's when I said, well, so, oh yeah, then I started this mentorship thing and then all that also didn't work out, and then I thought, okay, I'll be kind of like an influencer, you know, in the cake world. And well, it turns out that didn't work out either, because I, I I was passed on, which is I don't know if it's okay to talk about that here, it's just, you know, but there was a lot of racism yeah, it's okay, we want to talk about everything.

Speaker 3: 21:22

So, yeah, so, yeah, so I I, oh, my goodness, I remember when I hit 50k and I was like, oh my god, and all these brands. I was like, okay, let's you know, I wanted to do a giveaway and it was great, and I couldn't find anyone to sponsor me. What, and I'm not joking. I sent emails, I sent dms, I'm not going to mention any names, yeah, but it was heartbreaking. I cried so much because I thought, wait, some people told me, oh, they reached their capacity for the year. And then I'm speaking to other people in the cake world who are white and they're like, oh, no, no, no, no, just contact so and so and so I just got a mixer contact, so, so, so, so, no, no, no, no. They can't say that, I just they. I just got it last week. I'm not, yeah, okay. Then there's, like you know, color brands as well, like food coloring brands specifically yeah um, they didn't even respond to me.

Speaker 3: 22:26

They read my messages, read my. They didn't respond to me and I'm friends with some of their brand ambassadors. So I said, guys, I just need people to do a. I'm not asking to be a brand ambassador, I just want give me something for my giveaway. And they're like oh, my god, do they not know? It's you? I said I don't know what to do, and it wasn't until they put in a word for me that these brands started to respond. And it was. And I didn't even get. It was like, oh, yeah, here's, here's a box of six colors. And I was like, oh, what is that? It? Um, I did.

Speaker 3: 23:05

I did get support from the, from some brands, but many times it was the door was just shut in my face. Um, yeah. So there was another brand who said oh, you know that you can even be our brand ambassador, that's fine. And they asked me to pay for, yeah, they asked me to pay 50%. And then I said, oh, that's odd. So I asked other people who were not Black, they didn't have to pay. And I was like, oh, wow, this is crazy.

Speaker 3: 23:37

So I said you know what? I don't care about these people, I'm just going to up my game and sell cakes. There's no point trying to be a brand ambassador. There's no point trying to be a brand ambassador. There's no point trying to be all these things. I'm just going to be the best at what I do, or at least try to be the best at what I do, because we have to work twice as hard to get hot. And this isn't me feeling sorry for myself, it's just the reality. So, yeah, and then I thought, okay, I'm going gonna have to figure out how to stand out, how to be bomb, how to just go through and be a luxury brand, because I like doing this, but it's a business and I really do want this to be full-time eventually. Yeah, and that's when I took a Lima course, and that's when I went in February, um, to to Sona, and then I thought, okay, well, yeah, let's go, let's let's just do this properly, yeah.

Speaker 3: 24:30

I haven't looked back. I'm doing much better. I'm charging what I'm supposed to charge. I've got high net worth clients. Now it's, it's just great yeah, well, that's amazing.

Speaker 2: 24:42

But how do you, how do you push through all of that? We're going to call it what it is the racism in the space. How? Where do you find the strength to be able to say screw that. You know, there is so much more to me than what you're. I don't have to pay you so that I can represent. Imagine that when do you find? My strength to push through all of that. How do you deal with that?

Speaker 3: 25:10

um, unfortunately, we've been dealing with it, haven't we? Since we were born. It's just what it is, so it's not new. It's not new. You know, when you're in in in school and you know everyone's running in the hall and it's like aya, why are you running? There's 10 of us running, why are you only calling my name? Um, so it's not shocking, but you would think that in, you know, in this day and age with diversity and all these kinds of things, um, that people would be more open-minded.

Speaker 3: 25:43

I for a brand to ask me to pay for. You know, I asked four people and I'm friends with these people and I said did you? And they're like no, it doesn't work like that. That's not what it is. And I thought, okay. Then I asked the other one and the other one and the other one, and they all said I felt stupid for even asking like, yeah, why? Why would I pay? Why would you pay to be?

Speaker 3: 26:08

Um, but how I push through is just how I always push through. It's like okay, well, when one door shuts, another one's going to open and that's just. That's just life. Yeah, we're used to already having to create our own tables, create our own spaces, create our own everything, really. And I'm looking around and it's like you know, many black people are not representing these brands in the cake world, right, but then they're coming up with their own flavors. I think portions they're coming up with their own flavors, coming up with their own scrapers, building their own tables. So, if you're not going to sponsor me, I'm going to make my own stuff and I'm going to send it to my own um, my own people. So, and, and that's fine, and yeah, just how we were taught and it's just how we have to survive. Yeah, we will push through. It's this resilience we've always had since we were. We were born with it.

Speaker 2: 27:07

It's just what it is I mean, you're correct, we, we were born with this kind of resilience because, um, I, I owe you a book but, like in my book, I talk about you know how I had to overcome so many things to become me right. So, we, we, it's a story of, of so many of us and the generations before us, and it's not going to stop with us. So I do understand all of that, um, but you've mentioned your friends, your friends and having good friends, um, prior, how has your friends, you found that, your friend circle, how important is a friend circle to, uh, a new entrepreneur, or even someone's mental well-being, because I'm going to talk to you about you know?

Speaker 3: 28:00

yeah, so so my, I, I, I don't have a large friendship group, it's it's kind of small.

Speaker 3: 28:10

I'm popular, I know loads of people, but then, like the people I would phone if I had a flat tire, I can probably count them on one hand. Yeah, um, so I've got friends who they challenge me and I kind of do the same to them as well. So it's like, okay, well, it seems like you like this and why don't you just do it properly? And I'm like, well, I don't think so, but why not Just do it? And then I said, well, there's tons of bakers. And then they said, well, if there's tons of bakers, I don't. And then they said, well, if there's tons of bakers, you wouldn't have had a rubbish cake for your daughter's birthday. There's not tons of bakers, there's still space for you. So, um, having. But then at the same time have friends who said, well, who do you think you are charging 400 pounds for a cake? I'm not going to buy that. Um, and I'd never forget.

Speaker 3: 29:14

One friend said to me and and I was, I was begging and I said it was her mother-in-law's 70th birthday. And I said, well, I'll do it for free. And she said, no, it's my mother-in-law's birthday. I can't, you can't, come on. And she just laughed in my face and I was like, wow, um, I don't pay her for it because it was her mother-in-law, so come on. Yeah, you can't practice with my mother-in-law, but it was the how she kind of just loved like, oh gosh, hell, no. And I I still keep a grudge. I've never made a cake for her since. I'm just like, look, I'm fully booked, I'm busy. I'm just you didn't have faith in me back then. I'm not making your cake, go, go find someone else.

Speaker 3: 29:57

Yeah, um, but having friends who believe in you and having friends who will speak up for you in those kinds of spaces, so it's like, um, well, someone's going to call you and I've just said you make the best cakes and I'm thinking I really don't want to make a cake. Well, I've said it's you or no one, and you know sometimes, and they've got the best of intentions, yeah, um. So it's like, okay, well, my office, they need 200 cupcakes. I don't make 200 cupcakes, look, that's not my thing. But well, what I've said you know. So it's really, really important to have friends who would speak up for you in those spaces.

Speaker 3: 30:33

And then so also I've had people say, you know, they're just in a place and someone says, oh gosh, you know that girl, tabby Cakes, she, she, just, she's so arrogant, she's so proud, yeah, and and, and. Then you know, I've had people say, well, no, no, no, that's not my experience. You know, she, she was really. Maybe check yourself, maybe it was how you came at her, or, but tell me why. You think she was probably like, oh, I, I sent her an email and she didn't respond, or she took a couple days to respond, or something. Just ridiculous stuff.

Speaker 3: 31:06

Yeah, um, but yeah, so I think my, my, I've got good friends, um, and it's really important to have those kinds of friends. You don't need many, it might even just be one, um, but you need friends kind of like outside of, like your family or your husband, or because your husband's always going to say your cake looks nice anyway. So you need this, you need those friendships to you know to be, and you know, as a sounding board as well. So many times I've said read this email, am I bugging? Like was I wrong? And then they're like, oh, no, maybe you know you could have done this a bit different. And other times like, no, no, you were right, they were wrong, you know. So, yeah, my friends are great.

Speaker 2: 31:54

Yeah, yeah, you remind me of a New Yorker how you respond sometimes in your posts. I was like, okay, tabby could survive in New York. She's straight fire, tabby. She's straight fire, she's straight gangster. I was like you read Aya's stories and you're like, yep, she's a New Yorker for real, that hard probably.

Speaker 3: 32:14

I was okay in New York. When I went I was like what are you looking at? What are you looking at?

Speaker 2: 32:18

yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm sure, I'm sure you survived there well. So you did mention that you know the importance of having a circle. It doesn't have to be big, but just having like a unit that's, you know, an extended family unit. Right, not necessarily immediate family, but then you do have a lot of followers. You inspire a lot of followers. You inspire a lot of people, including myself. Tell me about that. What does that mean to you to hear from bakers, women, girls, anybody who bake, that you've inspired them to do this work?

Speaker 3: 33:04

Yeah, oh gosh, that that is very, very humbling. I still don't know how to act, like I'm just walking on the street and someone's like and I can just see and it's like oh, are you Teddy? Sometimes I'm like, are they talking about me? Um, and even my sister. She looks like me and sometimes she goes, no, no, I'm, I'm not tabby, that's my sister. Um, so it's really humbling. But then I also realize that comes with a lot of responsibility. So sometimes I just want to cuss out on my stories, like, and then I think people are watching. People are watching me and people do look up to me and that is scary because I'm not always going to get it right. I didn't ask for this.

Speaker 1: 33:55

I didn't plan this.

Speaker 3: 33:56

So it's not like I'm Beyonce, I'm a celebrity. But even if it's just one person who's telling me, oh, you inspired me, it's a big responsibility, just one person who's telling me, oh, you inspired me, it's, it's a big responsibility. And I didn't realize how big this responsibility was until I started making reels. Now, when I was making these reels, um, not everyone always understood my message. So if I said I don't know a reel, for instance, was about a rude customer I would never, ever, ever, be rude back to a customer, Not in a million years. I'll just put my phone down or put my laptop down, breathe, collect myself and respond. I'm not going to just tell you know, cuss a customer out.

Speaker 2: 34:40

Yeah.

Speaker 3: 34:41

So if I make a reel saying this is what maybe I want to do to a customer, how I feel when I talk to a customer. I've had a few times people have sent me dms of what they've said to customers and I'm like and they said yeah, tabby, you get it, don't you? No, I don't, I don't get it. That's not what this is. No, no, that's completely wrong, that's completely inappropriate. You don't speak to people like that. Um, but I also know a lot of young black girls follow me and you know there's this I need to be to be not excellent, but I feel responsible a lot of times and you know people come to me and say, oh, I don't know what to do. This happened to me. You know, someone's asked me for a refund. I don't know if I should Excuse me if I don't know if I should. I have to spend time talking to them. It does get a bit much.

Speaker 3: 35:49

I have to spend time talking to them. It does get a bit much. I'm like, okay, that's my one hour of the day done talking to everyone in my. You know, yeah, I had to stop taking orders via Instagram because it's my DMs full of people and I can't find the customers anymore. Um, but it's it's. It's a good feeling, um, that, because they could loads of people, inspire everyone for for many, many different reasons. But my message is just always if I can do it, anyone.

Speaker 3: 36:17

I'm not a rich kid, I'm not. I mean, in many ways I am privileged. I've traveled the world, etc. Etc. My background's kind of it's colorful, yeah, but at the same time, I've had to work really hard for everything that I've got. So you know, when I see these young girls, like, no, it's not, it's not gonna happen overnight. Love, you're gonna have to work for it, especially in this kind of business. You know you have to find your own customer. I can tell you how I did it. It doesn't mean it's going to work for you. Um, I'm not naive. I've got 80, whatever thousand, followers. 80,000 of them are bakers. They're not my customers. They don't bring me any money, you know. So I'm not naive I. I understand this business but at the same time, if and they're like oh, we just want you've got so many followers, how'd you get the followers? I'm not, I didn't. I'm not doing this because of the followers, I'm doing this because it's an actual business yeah you need to understand that followers doesn't mean business.

Speaker 3: 37:19

Um. So and that's kind of why I started the mentorship things, I mentor a few people. You know just how to do, how to do how to run a cake business. I can't take on too many, but you know I don't have the time anymore. Um, but yeah, it's, it's. It's a really, really great feeling to to be an influencer, I guess, but not in that way in the, in a more positive kind of look you, you don't have to, you can. You can get it if you work for it.

Speaker 2: 37:48

Basically, so I love that you, that you see that there is a responsibility that comes with being an influencer or inspiring youth or even anyone in the baking community, youth, or even anyone in the baking community um baking for me has been a hobby, a therapeutic source, um, and I'm that's the message I'm sending right that you can do business, but you can use it to sustain yourself or to level set when you need to be.

Speaker 2: 38:23

Have you ever like? Do you find baking to be therapeutic and you know? Have you found individuals reaching out to you who are experiencing, you know, types of trauma and are using baking as a therapeutic method?

Speaker 3: 38:41

um, only once has anyone ever kind of opened up to me and said, um, she, because I shared my story about how well my daughter's cake was rubbish. But her, her, her, she had a sick child and her child has to be at home and that was the only way baking was how she could kind of get her child to want to do anything. So it's like you know, see, touch, smell. You kind of use all your senses, don't you, to bake or to decorate the cake. So it's like, oh, she loves the bright colors and she loves the texture of you know even the taste of like buttercream texture of you know even the taste of like um buttercream, which she loves. So it's like her child. I can't remember what disability or I don't know the correct term. The challenge, yeah, was um, but I remember that she, she specifically asked me and she did a class with me and she was saying this was for her child, because then they can do this together and watch all these ingredients become something. It doesn't even have to be pretty, but at least it's become something and and her child's doing okay now, um, but, but at the time it was really rough. They had just only got the. The diagnostic? I can't remember, but it was. The news was new at the time and she was really, really struggling and I had to talk her through loads of things, um and and that that was one of the more rewarding um students I had.

Speaker 3: 40:21

So it's not just always oh, I'm just going to run a business. Loads of people come to me and they're like I need to learn to make a cake, because I've always just said I'm going to make my son's first birthday cake. I'm not going to sell them, but it's just a personal thing for me and that's what I want to do. Um, other people have just kind of said oh, um, you know my, I've got a teen and she needs a hobby. We're just going to over this. I don't know how else to get through to her. Maybe this is it, you know so. So for many people, though, I don't know them, but I've had a few people who have, you know, kind of said oh yeah, for me, baking is just my thing, it's therapeutic for me, especially you know, decorating, you know, even for some people, when they finish baking, clearing up the mess for them.

Speaker 3: 41:12

I don't know how, because I hate cleaning. For them. It's a big deal for them to clean the mess and it's something that they really enjoy. I don't know why, but they, they hate, they enjoy it, right, yeah. So, yeah, I've, I've had a few people I've spoken to who this, for them, is it's more than just it's not even a business for many people, it's just for them. It's how?

Speaker 3: 41:45

Because you need a lot of patience to be a baker, you need a lot of you know inner strength. Sometimes to be a baker, yeah, depending on the design, you could be sat for hours and hours and hours just doing the same thing over and over again. Um, for some people like me, I struggle with that. I've got ADHD, so for me to sit down and it gets a bit much, I have to leave it alone and come back. And you know, leave it alone and come back. So, yeah, um, I can't really speak too much about it being therapeutic, but yeah, but for me, it's taught me a lot in terms of patience, in terms of just pushing through and getting it done, because now some, apart from that, the fact that they've paid you your cake is supposed to be the centerpiece of their event. You're gonna have to push through whatever it is that you're going through. Yeah, you're gonna have to deliver their cake absolutely um.

Speaker 2: 42:41

What do you want your legacy to be?

Speaker 3: 42:45

oh, you mean just generally, or in the cake world both.

Speaker 2: 42:52

What do you? But yeah, what do you want your?

Speaker 3: 43:03

I want my, I want my overall legacy to beone she tried her best, um, but just, my kids, every day, they, they understand, and it's um, I, I keep learning, even about being a parent. I keep learning about apologizing, about, you know, not making the same mistakes. So I keep, I've told. I told my friend yesterday I said, well, I've tried my best. I just hope, whatever it is I got wrong, somehow my kids can forgive me for the parts that I got wrong and not hold a grudge, because I'd love for us to. You know, these days it's just I cut my mum off, you what? Um? But in terms of my legacy, I would really want it to be that this person came to this world and she, she did her best and these, she didn't take life too seriously. Um, you know it's, it's never that serious. Whatever it is you think it is you, you're just, it's never that serious, it's never, ever that serious. So for me, I'd like for people to just try, try, just, she tried her best.

Speaker 2: 44:21

Yeah. She tried her best.

Speaker 3: 44:24

Because I do try my best in everything.

Speaker 2: 44:27

Well, that's good, that's good. So right now, the Kick Therapy Foundation is teaching girls to try their best, right? I want the Cake Therapy Foundation to be able to teach girls how to really channel their best to become like, fruitful contributing to society. I want them to also contribute to society.

Speaker 2: 44:53

I know that in the community where I live, generations of girls have gone through trauma because of poverty, and so the foundation is teaching girls to own this skill set if it's something that they're interested in, to become entrepreneurs in their own right. So you yourself, you're slowly. Thank you, thank you so much. And you, you talk about the spirit of entrepreneurship and I I admire the moves you make. Okay, um, what, if? What advice would you give to a young lady who's found baking and she wants to become an entrepreneur? She really wants to monetize, commercialize this talent. One piece of advice that you'd leave with her.

Speaker 3: 45:47

I would say always, always, always, over deliver. If you say so, your integrity is the most important thing. So if you say you're going to do something, you have to do it, but on top of that, you're always going to do extra. So you're going to put that extra sprinkle, you're going to put that extra candle, you're going to put that extra candle, you're going to put that extra. There always has to be more. You're always going to give people more than they paid for.

Speaker 2: 46:22

Yeah.

Speaker 3: 46:22

They don't know how much it costs you. So that's fine, but Always on each cake. It doesn't matter if it's your mom's cake, it doesn't matter if it's your mom's cake, it doesn't matter if it's your friend's cake, it doesn't matter if you did it for free. You're always, always gonna do more, you're all that. That's, that's what's brought me this far, because if I say my cake's gonna be eight inches tall, it's gonna be nine. It's just always. And and not in a. I'm trying to over, um, not in a negative way, where I'm overstretching myself and, you know, eating into all my profit.

Speaker 3: 47:02

But what makes people come back and what makes people refer you is the little bit extra yeah so and and it's never so it's if you think about yourself, even as a customer, what makes you go back to certain stores? You paid, yeah, but what makes you go back? It's always something small, it's always something extra. It could be that they're more friendly in this place than the other place. It could be that you know they help you pack your stuff and the other place doesn't. What is it that is the extra that you do to make people feel good?

Speaker 3: 47:40

So, for instance, some people say I see, on these little girls well, not little girls, because they're entrepreneurs but I see in people's um, bios, um, expect a response in 48 hours. Who, who do you think you are? Who do you think you are? 48 hours in 2023? I forgot, I've. I would have spoken to 20 people in 48 hours. They, I would have got, I can get a cake in 48 hours if I try, I'm sure I can. I'll find someone to do it, yeah. So saying, what do you mean? 48 hours to get a response from you, you know. So it's things like that. You know, have a good attitude, have a can-do attitude, and I've said more than one thing, but anyway, the one thing is always always, do more extra yeah, always do extra.

Speaker 2: 48:35

So always do extra. Tell our listeners what's on the horizon for io and tabby cakes and where they can find you well, for now I'm just going to be online.

Speaker 3: 48:52

I don't have a space yet yet yet, um, but on the horizon I would like to be, um, an international world renowned um cake artist. Um, there's a lot of stuff going on right now in my nine to five job, so I've not been working that much on cakes, um, but I would like to see the world while doing cakes. I'd like to be flown out, hey, to bake someone's wedding cake. Yeah, um, you know that kind of stuff, um, but my, my target audience now is kind of the luxury, kind of premium side, high net worth people and people who don't know about the global crisis. Yeah, those are the people I'm trying to target now. Yeah, people who don't know about the cost of living crisis yeah, they're. They're the ones, um, and this, this came from last year.

Speaker 3: 49:58

I had a. I had a customer who she's she had three kids, she has three kids and she just always orders us. So she said oh, tabby, do what you want, do what you want, make it blue, make it red, and I just send her an invoice and she pays. And last year I went from I think it's February, august and November her kids birthdays and in February she's like, oh, just do what you want. And then in August she said, well, what's your cheapest cake? And I thought, well, that's that's not nice okay, well, this is my chief mistake.

Speaker 3: 50:30

And then in in November, I just saw on her story she had bought a shop cake for her son and I sent her a message. I said you couldn't, if you asked me, I swear I would have done this for you for free, because you are that customer. And she says, well, she was embarrassed because she's buying a shop cake. She just can't afford to pay for a cake anymore. Now a cake is a luxury, um. So yeah, now I need to find people who, well, that kind of stuff doesn't affect them anymore. Yeah, I mean, I still make cakes for everyone guys, um, but yeah, it's more now trying to do more. You know, I want one cake to be my fully booked. Just I've just one.

Speaker 2: 51:14

Can you imagine people out there have that? They do four cakes, and that's it right. I was like what?

Speaker 3: 51:22

yeah, that's it. They're fully booked and their bills are paid and they've got loads on top and they're fine yeah, that's gonna be us that's the dream. Yes, yeah, yeah yeah, why not?

Speaker 2: 51:33

very? Why not? Why not? We like the soft life we deserve it, we deserve it.

Speaker 3: 51:39

We've worked hard already.

Speaker 2: 51:41

So of course, yeah, we absolutely deserve it. I have one fun question for you you said you don't do birthdays, but you have your 40th coming. You're really not gonna do anything for your 40th birthday so I am, and this is peer pressure.

Speaker 3: 52:00

Um, so my, my sisters have planned this trip to cancun. But now it's just like why? Why did I agree to this? Why, because now it's, it's just so overwhelming for me. But yeah, we're going to Cancun. I don't know what they have planned, but I'll be there are you?

Speaker 2: 52:16

gonna travel with a cake no oh, you're not gonna travel with a mini cake no, that's too much.

Speaker 3: 52:24

I don't want to do anything on my birthday. It's my birthday.

Speaker 2: 52:26

They can find me a cake well um, this has been an amazing conversation thank you so much.

Speaker 3: 52:35

I love being here.

Speaker 2: 52:35

Thank you I really uh enjoyed and I've learned so much from you. I I one one takeaway for me is going to be always do more always do more, and I'm I'm going to implore all our listeners right now to always do more. So thank you for being our slice of joy. I really enjoyed you. I love you. I love your work.

Speaker 1: 53:03

I love you.

Speaker 2: 53:04

Yeah, I love your approachability. You are a really, really one dope individual and I want you to be thriving and doing great in this space.

Speaker 3: 53:14

Thank you so much, archisha. Thank you so so much for having me.

Speaker 2: 53:19

Yeah, so this has been the Cake Therapy Podcast. Thank you all. I'm signing out.

Speaker 1: 53:25

Thank you for tuning in to the Cake Therapy Podcast. Your support means the world to us. Let us know what you thought about today's episode in the comment section. Remember to subscribe wherever you get your podcast and if you found the conversation helpful, please share it with a friend. Also, follow sugar spoon desserts on all social media platforms. We invite you to support cake therapy and the work we do with our foundation by clicking on the buy me a Coffee link in the description or by visiting the Cake Therapy website and making a donation. All your support will go towards the Cake Therapy Foundation and the work we are doing to help women and girls. Thanks again for tuning in and we'll catch you on the next episode.