25 ways to recover from a bad day

We all have hard times and tough days. In this episode, we explore a variety of strategies to try, when you need to pull yourself out of the muck.

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Transcript

This is episode number 25. And in honor of that number, I thought let's talk about 25 ways to recover from a bad day. 

We'll start by talking a little bit about why it's important to assess your current state when you're trying to recover from a bad day. So how bad is bad? Start there. And I'll share why I think it would benefit you today, which hopefully is not a bad day, to create an emergency toolkit so that you have the right strategies ready when you need them. The idea from this episode actually comes from my Get Yourself Together Chica program. Where during one week of the program, we always open by sharing: hey, how do you recover from a bad day? That's given me so many new and fun strategies to try out in my own life. And it's also given me a window into the different types of comfort and recovery techniques that other women use. 

So many of the things that you will hear today on the list actually come from women who've come through the program. 

If you have questions or tips that you want to share, send them to podcast at, get yourself together. chica.com. And you can head over to get yourself together. chica.com/podcast, easy enough, right. For the show notes. And that will give you the full list of tips that we talk about in this episode, plus links to anything else I mentioned. 


What I've been reading: Into the Wild
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But first, I want to tell you what I've been reading right now. Just last night I finished and I think actually started yesterday too into the wild by John Krakauer. This one has been on my, I should read this list for many years. 

It came out in the nineties and as somebody who loves a wilderness memoir and a story of someone going off into the woods to try to find themselves this one has always been the kind of sad, cautionary, interesting tale that I've been tangentially aware of, but I've never gotten around to reading. So I finally did. 

I don't remember exactly what inspired me to, I think it was mentioned in a different book. I was reading and I happened to think I could put a hold on that, the library. So I picked up a copy and boy, is it an interesting book? And it's a particularly interesting internet rabbit hole, a trail to fall down after you read the book too. So perhaps you've seen the movie that was back in 2007. 

There's since been a few other books and statements released by the family. And I think each one sheds a little bit more light on. What inspired this young guy to head off into Alaska and unfortunately not make it back out again, but it was a, I wouldn't say enjoyable read. It was an interesting read. 

And I'm glad that I got to it.


The Window of Tolerance
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All right. So let's talk about how to recover from a bad day. First, take a look at your current state and really assess. Where am I at right now? If you observe that you are struggling in one of two ways, either your central nervous system has just gone into overdrive. 

And you're just thinking, thinking, thinking you can't stop. You're anxious. You. You're angry rage filled, filled with worries filled with sadness. And you just feel like your mind is whirling a million miles an hour. If you are struggling to keep control over your emotions, you feel like screaming or crying and you're having a hard time not doing those things. Okay. That means that you are outside of your window of tolerance, you're outside of what you can really regulate yourself within. You're in a state of hyper arousal. 

You're in overdrive. And it's going to take you some time. And some care. To come back down from that state. At least 20 minutes for your body to recover from where you are right now. So just know that. And be gentle with yourself. You can do some of these strategies, but start with the really easy strategies for you. And take a little time to come back down into a space where you can actually do some of this work. Your priority number one, when you are in hyper arousal is just to bring your mind back to a state of what you can tolerate. Back to a state of calm. And I'll put a link in the show notes to a video about the window of tolerance. So you can understand this concept a little bit better. It comes from Dr. Dan Siegel. But the basic idea is when you are inside your window of tolerance. When you butt up against the edges of that window, you might feel very stressed out, but you also feel like you can handle it. 

You can learn, you can grow, you can self-regulate take care of yourself. You can use strategies like the ones we're going to talk about today. And bring yourself to a spot where you're like, okay, I'm all right. I got this. When you get bumped outside your window of tolerance, that's when you're in that hyper arousal state I just described, and you are really going to need to do some gentle work and give it some time to come back to inside that window of what you can tolerate. If you feel like, gosh, what is wrong with me? 

That's what's going on. It's just too much for your system to handle right now. And it might be that on a different day. Or in a different circumstance. Whatever just happened that put you into that state. Actually you could manage it. You'd be okay. But for whatever reason, Today is not that day. And you're in a tough spot. 

So have some compassion for yourself. The other state that you could be in, if you are not in that hyperdrive, hyper arousal state, where you're just like, go, go, go filled with energy that's overwhelming... is you might be on the opposite end of that spectrum. 

You might be in a state of hypo arousal. And this one is less well-known and less recognized by most people I talk to. So hypo arousal is when your brain and executive functioning and central nervous system have just gone offline. You feel numb, you felt depressed, you feel sad, or maybe you're really struggling to have any emotions. You feel like you're lethargic and slow almost catatonic. 

If things are really bad, you just feel like you can hardly form sentences. You can hardly respond to things that you would normally be able to respond to. You are struggling to be motivated to do anything like even getting off the sofa. It feels really difficult. Let alone going outside. So that's the opposite end of the spectrum. 

Think of hyper arousal. As you're in a state of fight or flight, we all are pretty familiar with those states, hypo, arousal, this kind of numbed out state. That's when you've gone into a state of freeze. So it's a learned response. Most of us naturally based on our life circumstances and experiences. We tend to go one direction or the other by default when we are overloaded, but either way. The cures are similar in that you need to do some gentle work with yourself to get back inside that window of tolerance. You might not feel great when you're back inside the window of tolerance, but you can manage your emotions. 

You can be in touch with them and understand what's going on. When you get knocked outside of it, that's a really tough spot and it takes some extra care to bring yourself out of it. So that's step one is just assess your current state. Are you inside your window of tolerance, but you're just hitting up against the edges of it. 

Okay. Great. Use some of the strategies that we're talking about today and you'll probably be just fine. If you're knocked outside the window of tolerance, remember you're going to have to give yourself at least 20, 30 minutes, and you're going to have to start with very easy strategies and try to do whatever the opposite is that your central nervous system is currently doing. 

So if you're in a state of hyper arousal and your mind is spinning, spinning, spinning. You want to do very calming things. You want to listen to calm music. You want to walk slowly outside. If you're in hypo arousal and your brain is just like moving, like you're in jello, you want to do something to stimulate your central nervous system. 

So maybe go for a brisk walk or even a run listen to some upbeat music. Often it's the opposite of what you'll be inclined to do. So I share that just to give you a sense of when things are really rough, take a look at whether you have been knocked outside your window of tolerance, and if you might need to take extra care, when you think about what strategies to deploy. 


Your SOS Toolkit
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The second thing I wanted to share with you before we jump into the list is. Think about as you listen to the strategies today as they spark. Recognition and as they make you think of strategies that you already deploy, sometimes when you're in a good spot and can remember. I want you to make an SOS, anxiety, sadness, overwhelm toolkit. That's just a list, a list of strategies that you're going to try, so that it's ready when you need it. 

Because the thing is when you are in a really hard spot, when you're having a really tough day, It's incredibly difficult in that moment. To access. What is it that I do? When I'm feeling like this, that helps me feel better. Your brain is already a little overloaded and now you're asking it to try to solve a complex problem. 

It's a lot easier if you have a list, because then you can say, where is my list? Okay, let me pull something off this list and try that. And it also is reassuring. If I try one thing and it doesn't do the trick. I've got hopefully 20, 25 more that I can try. So ask yourself questions as you listen to these strategies, like what worked well for me the last time I felt that way. What's something I've tried in the past that helped me feel 10% better. There's probably nothing you're going to do. 

That's going to get you from feeling awful, to feeling amazing. In 20 minutes flat, but think of it as laddering upward toward a better state of mind. All right. Without further ado, here are 25 ways to recover from a bad day. 


Strategies #1 - 5: Outdoors & Movement 
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First up on the list are a couple that I hear frequently from other women that they find helpful and that I personally find helpful. So number one is go for a walk outside. Especially in the woods or in a park, in a green space. But even around your neighborhood is helpful. Even these moderately green spaces are helpful. There's a couple of reasons why going for a walk outside makes a difference. One is that it gets you out into the world again, which if you're struggling with feeling like holing up in your home, That can be a little forward motion that's helpful. There's plenty of research that indicates that spending time in nature, even moderate amounts of nature. Helps us regulate our breathing, our heart rate, our stress levels. A good 15 or 20 minutes outside makes a really big difference. And if you can't get yourself to walk outside, Even just going outside and sitting on your porch can help or it can be a good start. 

So you can ask yourself. Can I just put on a pair of shoes? Maybe a coat. And sit on my front steps. 

And sometimes if you get out there and you sit for a few minutes, you'll be inspired to say, okay, can I just walk? To the mailbox. Can I just walk down the street. But go outside, go for a walk in the woods. If you can muster up a little bit more energy and enthusiasm, second on the list is go for a run or a hike outdoors. 

So that faster movement, getting your heart rate up, getting out there and being more immersed in the outdoors that is of course, really helpful. If that sounds like too much. What about, can you walk to a park? Can you drive to a park and just sit on a park bench. Again, that contemplative time outside, time in nature time with the birds and the squirrels has a way of putting life into perspective. Another one that I heard several times from women in my groups is go for a drive. Or if you live in an urban area and you don't like to drive, or you don't have a car go for a ride on the bus, on the subway. That idea of aimless wandering in a kind of autopilot state. A lot of people find that helps their mind sort through things and settle down. 

If those are not an option, another one that's very popular, although for some people harder than for others. Is to go hit the gym hard. So go do something that is going to make you work up a sweat. Get some of that angst out. It's one of those things that many people I know who are hardcore exercise enthusiasts. They say, I don't like running necessarily. Or I certainly don't always like running. But I always like having run. And I think the same applies for many forms of more intense exercise. 

You don't necessarily enjoy it while you're doing it, but you really enjoy having done it. 


Strategies #6 - 13: Cozy activities
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If those seem out of reach a very simple one that I love to do, and that becomes more comforting. The more often you use it as a source of comfort. Is to have a cup of tea. Or some other comforting warm drink. And I will say that the flip side to this strategy is have a glass of wine, have a beer. I would really encourage you to not develop that habit. If that is a pattern you fallen into. Maybe see what you can do to break it. 

You would be surprised if you condition yourself every time that you feel low, you're going to go make yourself a cup of herbal tea, decaffeinated, of course. So that it's available at any time of day. The first few times, you'll be like, well, this isn't wine, but after a little while you can condition yourself, it's a Pavlovian response. 

You can condition yourself to associate that with comfort. And it starts to give you the benefits of unwinding and taking care of yourself without the downsides and disadvantages that regular alcohol use can bring. And in particular, using alcohol as a way to turn your brain off as a way to unwind. It's a little bit like overindulging in junk food. It feels good in the moment, but alcohol is a depressant. 

So over the long run, it doesn't really help. It actually tends to make things worse. And one of the most striking findings. That I have seen in the last few years. Is that. Alcohol use when you turn toward it. To alleviate your sadness. It tends to spiral down pretty quickly as you get to midlife and older. 

So many people who earlier in life did not have problems with alcohol dependency. Develop that over time when that association between alcohol and comfort. Grows stronger and stronger. So really rethink what role you want alcohol to play in your life? If that's something you're doing regularly and ask yourself, is there another strategy I could try even just first. I will tell you, I made a decision during the pandemic. That I do not as a general rule, keep wine in my house anymore. Because it's too easy for me for that to become a frequent habit. To become a cue. 

Okay. It's my treat. It's my time to wind down. It's my time to say the Workday has done. It's a pick me up when I feel low. I just recognize in myself, I have that tendency. I have a routine, addictive personality and it's just not something I want to encourage in myself. So I do drink. But I do not drink at home as a regular routine anymore. 

And I've been much happier. In general when I stopped doing that, in fact, I discovered it was contributing to low mood that I didn't realize. So I'll get off my soap box, but have a cup of tea or a comforting warm drink. 

Another one I like is to grab a fuzzy blanket or even I have full on fuzzy footie jammies that I will put on if it's cold enough. And do something that feels very comforting. Sit on the sofa. Maybe grab a book, maybe watch TV, maybe call a friend. There's lots of strategies you can use beyond that, but there's something very comforting about wrapping yourself up in something fuzzy and taking care of yourself is what we do for little kids. 

When they're sad. Sometimes we do it for our pets. Why not do it for ourselves. Number eight is ask for a hug. It's surprising what impact a good hug can have on you. So whether you're asking a kid for a hug, a friend, your partner. Maybe not a stranger. That's a little weird, hopefully there's someone in your life who you can ask for a hug and let yourself receive it and don't break it off before you need to. Really take that hug in. You can also wrap your arms around yourself and give yourself a hug, especially if you have a blanket. If nobody else is available, that is sometimes a reasonably nice substitute. And in fact, there's some studies that indicate if you lay your hand on your chest or on your heart. That triggers a lot of the same chemical processes as a hug does. 

So he can try that as well. Number nine is phone a friend. So who could you call when you're feeling low, that you could talk to you for just a few minutes and would help raise you back up again, help you remember who you are. And that everything's going to be okay. That one in particular, many people know. Theoretically is available to them, but they really struggle with just picking up the phone and making that call. So next time, consider it an experiment. And just try it and see how it feels. You might find that the more you are vulnerable with other people and the more you reach out to them for help and support. The stronger that relationship grows and the more they open up and reach out to you in return. 

Number 10 is a fun one. Go shopping for a trinket. So you don't want to create financial problems for yourself. You don't want to contribute to waste, to consumerism, to filling up landfills with things you don't need, but you can probably think of something little, that would be a nice little treat. So one woman I know, loves to go to H Mart when she's feeling really low, she will drive to H mart, which is a Korean grocery store. And just wander through the aisles and look around. I was talking about it with another friend and she said, I wonder if it's because so much of the packaging inside of the H Mart is so cute. 

Like it's got all these little cartoon characters and it is cheery. So, I don't know if that's the reason why, but maybe have a place or two where you go and you don't have to buy anything either. You can go and just browse. You can go and put things on a list of things I might buy for myself someday, but just get out there in a space that you enjoy being in and have a look around. Sometimes that's a fun little adventure. 

You can even go shopping in a way that is for things you need, but that is a little bit indulgent. So if you don't normally go to the fancy grocery store, what if you just went to the fancy grocery store and you told yourself I'm going to go find the perfect one piece of fruit. A little bit quest, a little bit indulgent, certainly healthy and not going to break the bank. 

Another one that comes up frequently is watch some comfort television. Do you have a show or two that you could put on that would remind you of happy times that would transport you to a fun place that makes you feel. Just loved and happy. Mine is. I love watching the great British bake off that one. 

Always picks me up and makes me laugh. Makes me smile. I love that. It's so friendly. Nobody's out to get anybody else. But your favorite TV show or what signals comfort to you might be completely different. Maybe it's friends or Seinfeld. Maybe it's mad men. Maybe it's CSI. Maybe it's British cozy mystery shows. 

I don't know, whatever it is. Think of what your comforting TV is and maybe tune in. 

Number 12 on the list is pet your cat or your dog or whatever furry pet I don't know your Chinchilla. They're supposed to be really soft. This is one that I have to remind myself to do. But it's always so satisfying. My dog loves a belly rub. He's really soft and sweet. And just seeing how happy that little thing makes him. He tends to lift my mood to. And it's also very comforting to kind of stroke something that's that fuzzy and soft like that. So pet your dog, pet your cat bet. 

Your neighbor's dog. Pet a stray cat. Number 13 is read a novel, you know, I love to read, but pick something that's really light and silly and fun. Maybe a cozy mystery, maybe a romance, maybe something trashy, maybe a silly detective procedural. Young adult is another popular genre for when you just feel low and you want to pick me up. Some people like to reread favorite books too. 


Strategies #14 - 20: Pleasant distractions
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That's a very comforting activity for some folks. Another source of comfort that I use quite frequently is look at some of your favorite photographs or otherwise explore memories that make you happy. I like to pull up photos from our favorite trips, or sometimes I like to look at videos of my kids from particular ages in their childhood. Looking at our trip photos, it just always makes me smile. 

And it reminds me how fortunate I am and how many wonderful experiences I've had the chance to have. It makes me just really remember to be grateful for. All of the wonderful things in my life. On a related note. Number 15 is avoid social media, surfing the internet and watching the news. Those are all mindless activities that we tend to think will bring us comfort. But in most cases, if you look at the studies on how people feel after they do those things, It's a little bit like eating a bag of Cheetos for dinner. The first couple of bites feels pretty good. And then next thing you know, you have bright orange fingers and a stomach ache for the rest of the day. 

So stay away from those things. But you can indulge in the impulse that drives you to those. So looking at your own photos or, scrolling through photos that a friend sent you. That will scratch some of the same itch as social media, without the downsides. Going and reading a book or looking for maybe a podcast on a topic that interests you , that scratches the surfing, the web itch without all the downsides and watching the news. 

I mean, if you're already feeling down, do you really think that's going to make you feel better? The only way it's going to make you feel better is if you like knowing that there are people all over the planet who have it way worse than you, which seems kind of self punishing. Just saying. All right. 

Number 16 is indulge in some reasonably healthy treat or comfort food. But avoid the junk. Indulging in junk food indulging in foods that will make you feel momentarily. Good. And then leave you feeling, blah. That's not such a great strategy. So you really want to look for something that, ideally you could enjoy in abundance without there being any issue, but just something maybe you don't do for yourself that often. 

So one of my favorites is mashed potatoes. I don't suffer any ill effects from eating mashed potatoes. I just don't make them all that often because I don't know, there's not the healthiest way to eat a potato. It's a little bit of a bother. But I can easily go and even just pick up some fast food, mashed potatoes and that's, a reasonably healthy little treat. Another one I like is I will go out and buy types of fruit or maybe trail mix that I don't normally buy, just because they're expensive or they go bad quickly. That's a nice little reasonably healthy treat that you can indulge in. 

In fact, toward the end of this episode, you will hear how I indulged in a treat of my own making this week where I was looking for something to cook that felt like comfort, but was also healthy. So you can, re-imagine some of your favorites in a way that won't make you feel yucky after you eat too much of it. 

Number 17 is water your house plants. Or weed your garden, take care of something green. I don't know why, but I always find this, something that I neglect doing. And then when I make the effort to go do it, I'm like, oh yeah, The little guys here, so nice. 18 is clean off one surface. Or make one window sparkle. 

So tackle some kind of teeny tiny bite sized, very satisfying household. Task, especially a cleaning or decluttering task. There's something really satisfying about that. Just cleaning off my desk, dusting it. Making one window that I look out every day, shine on both sides. It's gotta be something you can get done in a very small amount of time, whether it's a big payoff. One I will do is I will run. 

I have one of those robotic vacuums, a Roomba that I was given as a Christmas gift by my dear boyfriend, who knows how much I hate to vacuum. We don't share a house. So it really was a Christmas gift. I would not advise buying a robotic vacuum as a gift to your partner who you live with might not be seen as a gift, more of a hint or something. but in this case I do not like to vacuum. 

And so he bought me that and that's one thing I will do that just cheers me up. Sometimes I will run the Roomba and in fact, I will. I have it go do its thing while I go for a walk outside. Cause I don't really like the sound. Of a vacuum, but I love coming home to a sparkly clean floor. 

Number 19 is related. And it is tackle any task that's been bothering you. While listening to a podcast or a favorite playlist. So look around your house, look around your office. What's some little bitty thing that's been niggling at you that you could take on right now. And you would feel a big sense of accomplishment in getting done. The smaller and sillier, the better. Those can be a really satisfying thing to do when you're feeling low and just need a pleasant, uplifting distraction. Number 20 is go to the library. 

If you haven't been to a library in a long time, it's really fun to go in there. You can go in and get ideas for what you want to read. Next. You could find out if your library card is still active or how to get one. You can walk out with a giant stack of books that you don't have to pay for. And if you are lucky like me, you will find out that your library no longer charges, late fees. So it's extremely inspiring and economical to use the library. 


Strategies #21 - 22: Create space for yourself
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Number 21 is cancel a call or a meeting. Later that day or even that week. That you don't want to go to anyway. It feels very freeing and very satisfying to clear one of those things off your calendar. 

And when you're having a crap day, that is a great excuse to be able to say, you know what, I'm actually not feeling up for this. Let me wiggle on out of it. Number 22 is clear your calendar as best as you can. If this has been a really rough day. How effective are you going to be trying to soldier on and push through? Wouldn't you be fresher tomorrow. Later this afternoon later in the week. And look, if you feel guilty or more often, if you feel like, but I can't, I just have so much, I have to so much I have to do. Look, remind yourself. 

You're not an emergency responder. Nobody's going to die. If you reschedule this meeting, most of these things can probably wait until later in the week. Well, I mean, unless you are an actual EMT or a doctor on call. Obviously in that case, I guess, disregard that advice. Although I hope you're not going into surgery stressing about something else, at least not if you're operating on me. But figure out whatever you can't move off of your calendar for today. Figuring out how to make it more indulgent. So maybe go off camera and take that zoom call from your sofa while you pet your dog, or while you light a fire. Maybe bring a novel to the kids music lesson better yet. 

Go pop into the cafe nearby and enjoy it while they're doing their thing. 


Strategies #23 - 25: Deeper discussions with yourself
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Number 23 is a little more complex. Think about whatever is going on for you today. Has it activated what some psychologists call one of your little protectors. So has it activated some younger version of yourself inside of you? Maybe your four year old self, maybe your teenage self who is now rising up and trying to protect you from something that you actually don't need protecting from anymore. So are you feeling insecure? Are you feeling incapable? 

Are you feeling intense doubt? Are you feeling defensive? Are you feeling abandoned? Are you feeling alone? Are you feeling scared? Right. All of those very intense. Primitive emotions. Remember. You have little protectors inside you who become activated when you get faced with certain emotions that maybe were hard for you earlier in life. 

So really visualize them because they will activate inside of you on these tough days. And they'll start yelling very loudly. And if you don't recognize it's them talking. Then you can get kind of hijacked by them. So visualize, oh, this is three year old Rebecca inside of me, assign it an age. 

Is it a three-year-old? Is it a rebellious, angry teenager? Is it a pouting? Seven-year-old it's look at it inside of yourself. Give it an age, give it a name. Maybe it's, I don't know, angry, Andy. You want to really create a visual identity for it in your mind. And then talk to it. Comfort. Say, Hey. I know you're trying to protect me right now. When my boss said that thing to me. It made you feel like, Hey, that's not cool. You got to protect yourself. 

He thinks you're not smart enough. He thinks you're not capable. He's going to fire you. But I got this. That was really hard for you. Wasn't it? It was really hard for you to hear someone say that to us. But I'm okay. And you're going to be okay too. I know that sounds maybe a little hokey. Try it. You'd be surprised. How sometimes deeply emotional that conversation can be and how much it can help you pull yourself out of a shame, spiral and anxiety, swirl, and remember, all right. I'm all grown up now. I'm okay. The story that I'm telling myself about this situation. 

That's not even me talking. That's not, you know, Middle-aged me your 20 year old me talking that's my three-year-old inside of me. And wow. She went through some really hard stuff. And she forgets sometimes that she doesn't have to look out for me like that anymore. 

All right. Number 24. Is another deeper tactic. When you are having a really tough moment, the end of that tough day. I want you to sit down. And pretend like you are sitting and having coffee with a good friend of yours, somebody who you might go to, to talk about this problem with, or that you would, if you felt comfortable. Start to tell your friend out loud, you know, maybe I'll be in your car or be alone somewhere so that you're comfortable doing it. 

But start to tell them out loud about this day that you've had. And what you are thinking about this situation. So that might sound like, oh my gosh, I had this meeting with a perspective client and I went into it so excited, but. Gosh, they just started saying all these things that made me doubt myself. 

And I just don't even know what I'm doing. Why am I even trying to run a business for myself? I mean, I should just go out and get a job. I'm completely gonna fail at this. And, and they, they knew, I didn't know what I was talking about. What am I even thinking? Right. Say it as if you would say it to the person you felt most comfortable in the world, bearing your soul to. Just let it all out there. And then imagine that a third unhelpful person we'll call her. 

Debbie downer just walked up and joined the table. Your friend quickly catches her up and says, oh yeah, you know, Rebecca just had this meeting today. It didn't go well with a client. She's really struggling. And I want you to imagine that Debbie downer. Immediately starts echoing all the things you just said about yourself and the situation. So Debbie starts saying things like, oh, I really think it's time for you to throw in the towel. 

What were you even thinking, going into business for yourself? You should go back and get a job. You're it's really much safer for you. I mean, I just don't know if you're going to succeed at this. How does it sound when Debbie starts saying that crap about you and to you? And what is your friend sitting there at the table say when she starts saying these things. Sometimes, if you can play that whole conversation out. And you can say the stuff out loud as if a friend is there and then imagine some other acquaintance walking up and saying that stuff to you and about you. For me, that's really helpful. 

It helps me tease out what parts of my inner monologue are supportive and helpful and reasonable. And what parts of it are just like, whoa. Who is that jerk in my head. And how did she start talking to me like this? 

All right. Last on the list. Number 25. After you have done some of these self care strategies. If you are still just really struggling and feeling stuck, it's been a couple hours. He's just feeling like, Ugh. I don't know what to do next. I can't motivate myself to do anything. Just ask. What is the next small thing? I can do. What is the smallest possible littlest, teeny, tiny baby step that I could take. Right now that would start to help me feel a little more grounded. That would start to help me get the clarity I need. The answers I need get out of my own way. 

And then. Take that step and break it into half, break it into quarters because I can almost guarantee you it's going to be too big. It's not going to be the smallest possible baby step. It's going to be about five baby steps one after the next. So, for example, if you say, oh, well, the next next thing I could do is dust off my resume. And get it ready to apply for jobs. Oh, that's a big step. 

That's not a baby step. A baby step might be. I could open up my resume. Set a timer for 10, 15 minutes. And try to just rewrite. My, you know, bullet points about my most recent job. Or maybe just write the little intro paragraph. Or just add in the newest job, don't start editing the rest yet. Just adding the newest, really make it a little micro, teeny, tiny step. 

Something that you have no doubt you can accomplish, even if nothing else goes to plan the rest of the day. What could you do that would give you a sense of both satisfaction. And a forward moment. 

So I hope that these 25 strategies have sparked some more ideas. If you are like many people, you've come up with 25 more in your own head as we've been talking. Write them down. What worked well for you the last time you felt this way? What are the strategies you're going to put on your list in your toolkit that you can reach for and try systematically one by one or at random, if you like to roll that way, the next time that you're having a bad day.


What I've been cooking: Vegan beef-a-roni (don't judge)
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Well, it's time to tell you what I've been cooking up in the kitchen. I've really been struggling with my cooking routine for the past week or so. Not sure what disrupted it, but I just kept buying healthy, healthy stuff and then not making it and letting it go bad and just not really taking care of good care of myself. Not really eating regular meals. 

Occasionally that is something that I struggle with when I've got a lot going on. So I needed some comfort food, something easy, not terribly unhealthy and something that frankly, I'd be willing to eat more than once this week.

At first I thought, well, let me go and see what kind of frozen prepared plant-based stuff is out there. So I looked at, some of the Amy's frozen meals and some of the others out there, but they were all just loaded with saturated fat and sodium and ingredients that couldn't be pronounced. 

And I thought, ah, I don't really want to spend the money on this food. That is not really very good for me. And then it's also going to cost a lot and I'll probably still be hungry after I make it. So back to the drawing board.

And I settled on, you know, what would be amazing is if I could make something inspired by the Stouffer's Beefaroni that I used to love to eat. 

When I worked at a grocery store in high school, they had it for sale on the hot bar. And for some reason, I just really loved it. And I really got in the mood for that. So I don't eat meat as a general rule, but I thought, okay. I could probably use a little bit of that beyond sausage that they sell, or maybe the beyond beef. And as long as I just keep the portion very small distributed within a broader dish of healthy ingredients, I'm comfortable with that sort of nutritional compromise. 

I try not to eat a whole lot of Frankenfood from laboratories, but now, and again, something like that does hit the spot. So I cooked up a little bit of that. Fake meat. And mix it in with a whole lot of keenwah brown rice pasta. I added some kidney beans and then I took a tomato marinara sauce. And blended it up with some raw cashews and nutritional yeast. Through that all together might not sound good, but it was actually fantastic. 

It was really delicious and I have enjoyed eating it. Probably two times this week and I froze a bunch so that it will be waiting for me in the future when I need food. And don't feel like cooking. So that is what I have been cooking up in the kitchen this week.