Mastering Memory and Managing Emotions: A Journey with International Speaker Bob Kittel

Bob Kittel, a master in memory enhancement, joins us to share the transformative techniques that took him from an inspired student to a sought-after international speaker who has shared stages with Zig Ziglar, Tony Robbins, Donald Trump and many others.

When anxiety creeps in, it can feel like a relentless storm. Bob and I discuss the dance between our emotions and well-being, emphasizing the importance of addressing past traumas and controlling the influence of our thoughts. Moreover, we shed light on the urgent topic of technology addiction, offering actionable tactics to help you reclaim authority over the digital distractions that chip away at our mental health.

Wrapping up our discussion, personal development takes center stage as we glean wisdom from influential books and the impact they've had on Bob's and my life. The conversation takes a turn towards the inspiring stories from Bob's speaking engagements, from invigorating junior high students to connecting with inmates and individuals in recovery.  Join us for an episode brimming with insights that promise to enrich your memory, emotional well-being, and perspective on life's journey.

Bob's website is below. Lots of great information!

https://bobkittell.com/improve-your-memory/



  **The information provided on this podcast does not, and is not intended to, constitute  legal advice;  instead, all information, content and materials available on this site are for general informational purposes only. Information on this podcast  may not constitute the most up-to-date legal or other information. This podcast contains links to other third party websites. Such links are only for the convenience of the reader, user or browser.     

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:01

So are you looking for more inspiration and possibility in midlife and beyond? Join me, leslie Maloney, proud wife, mom, author, teacher and podcast host, as I talk with people finding meaning in Moxie in their life after 50. Interviews that will energize you and give you some ideas to implement in your own life. I so appreciate you being here Now. Let's get started, all right. So welcome back everybody to another episode of Meeting Amoxy After 50. And welcome, bob. I'm so glad that you could join us today. I have Mr Bob Kittel with us this morning. How are you?

Speaker 2: 0:42

Oh, just, dandy, Thank you.

Speaker 1: 0:44

Yeah, good, so you have such an interesting background. I know that you are a national and international speaker very well known and you specialize in helping people enhance their memory, so how did you get into that?

Speaker 2: 1:03

Oh well, I listened to his Zig Ziglar tape, if you remember him, a great motivational speaker and in the back of his book See you, at the Top he had a list of books that you should read if you ever saw them. So I was at a bookstore and I saw one of the books and it was called the Memory Book by Harry Lorraine and Jerry Lucas. So I picked it up, started reading it and went you've got to be kidding me, this would make school a lot easier. So I went from a 3.0 to a 3.8 GPA I was getting my master's degree and I thought, huh, I wonder why everyone doesn't know how to do this.

Speaker 2: 1:33

So for a master's project, for three credit hours, I had to teach 200 students how to memorize. So I walked into an anatomy class on campus. The professor gave me five minutes. I did a demonstration into an anatomy class on campus. The professor gave me five minutes. I did a demonstration and the whole class came, including the professor. Two weeks later he calls me and says you've created a problem. He said I have three sections of 200 students and the 200 you taught just blew the curve on the other 400. Will you please teach the other 400? So Zig Ziglar said if you want to get experience, do it for free. So I started going around from class to class asking professors and ended up teaching 3,000 college students for free how to have a better memory. And then I graduated and thought I wonder if people will pay for this. And then took it to 100 universities all over the country and that opened up doors. That opened up doors and that's kind of how it got started.

Speaker 1: 2:22

Wow, that's really cool, that's really cool. And that's kind of how it got started Wow, that's really cool, that's really cool. So it was something, yeah, that you just used yourself and then you saw it in action around you and then took it out from there. So what are some of the things that you found in that experience of I used to teach? My background is in education and for many years I taught high school and college. I still teach college, but I taught psychology, sociology and psychology at one point and there was always a section in psychology on memory, and so there were those. I remember teaching some of those little tips and things like that. I can't, I can't really draw on them right now, but what tips and things like that? I can't really draw on them right now, but what were some of the?

Speaker 2: 3:08

takeaways from that experience for you? Oh, it was the visual memory for most people works better than just repeating it over and over. An example might be let's say you have 10 goals, visual memory Okay, I could actually put them on my body or I could put them around a room, or I could put them around my car. So let's just say I have a goal to run every morning. I might see somebody running on top of my head, so I closed my eyes and I see somebody running on top of my head. So I might have a goal to read more books, and so I see two books over my eyes. I might have a goal to eat less sugar, so I could shove some candy up my nose to remember. Not a good idea. And so by doing that, by visualizing it, I would seem to remember.

Speaker 2: 3:54

An example also is like in an anatomy class, the pituitary gland. So they would see a pit bull on top of a car and go, aha, everything I know about the pituitary gland is on the car. So they start with the bumper and they see hair growing out, because it's a growth hormone, because hair grows. They might see their thigh up on the hood because it's a thyroid stimulating hormone. So I mean, that's a quick example of how it works.

Speaker 1: 4:23

So somehow, yeah, making it more concrete in a visual way and then tying in something that has meaning and relevance to you.

Speaker 2: 4:32

Yeah, you already know what a car looks like. You don't have to memorize what a car looks like and you just put it around the car or put it around your bedroom, or put it around a house or put it on your body. Unless it's something like a vocabulary word and so, like the word abnegate, I would go Hmm, what does that look like? Sound like a remind me of. Sounds like a gate. It means to surrender. So I closed my eyes and see hundreds of gates waving white flags, surrendering.

Speaker 1: 4:58

And I imagine you could use this with remembering people's names. Use this with remembering people's names and things like that. How would that work?

Speaker 2: 5:07

Well, you know what Funny? You should ask that because I teach a lot of companies how to do that. And here's a quick example A lot of times you don't say to somebody you know what, I recognize your face, it's your name, I forgot. You hear that all the time, right? You never say hey, bill, how's it going? I remember your name, it's your face, I forgot. So what are the key things to get the person's name? So, for example, let's see if we can see that. Can you see that guy?

Speaker 1: 5:33

Oh yeah.

Speaker 2: 5:35

So I would go his name is Mark. I go Hi Mark. So I get the name and repeat the name and then I would go Mark, mark sounds like a marking pen. So I would take a marking pen and I'd look at his face and go what's the first thing that catches my attention? Well, he's kind of got a big nose. So I take a marking pen and shove it up his nose. Now when you start laughing, I tell people, don't tell him why you're laughing. Just one other quick example this is Scott. So I say hi Scott. And then I go Scott sounds like scotch tape. So I put scotch tape on his beard and rip it off and go hurry.

Speaker 2: 6:14

So I've taken people through, a number of individuals, even the people in the room, and they tend to remember everyone. Like Bob, my name's Bob. So somebody go hi Bob. And so Bob sounds like a little bobber. You see a little bobber, there's a little dimple on my nose and sounds like a little bobber. You see a little bobber, there's a little dimple on my nose and there's a little bobber bobbing up and down my nose. Of course, another thing you do to help people remember your name I usually go like this Hi, my name's Bob B-O-B. You can spell forward or backwards the same way. You see me bobbing around.

Speaker 1: 6:36

Yes, yes. So the sillier it is and the crazier it is, probably the more likely you are to remember it and the crazier it is probably, the more likely you are to remember it.

Speaker 2: 6:48

Yeah, you get in the habit of doing that after a while. Where's the one other thing? There it is just in case we get to that. So the other thing I've done for me being practical is I'm a professional speaker and I noticed that a lot of professional speakers would have quotations or stories. So I have 160 stories memorized by number and about 400 quotations memorized by number, and here's an example. That's just. I would say to people I wouldn't be looking at it and say, okay, go ahead and choose a number on the page. So I've got my eyes closed. Choose a number on the page. Do you see it at all?

Speaker 1: 7:27

125.

Speaker 2: 7:28

125. The bride white of hair. That's how it starts right.

Speaker 2: 7:31

Uh-huh the bride, white of hair, scooped over her cane, her footsteps in certainty guiding while across the church aisle with a wand, toothless smile, the bridegroom in a wheelchair comes riding. Now, who is this elderly couple thuswed? You'll find, if you closely observe it, that here is that rare, most conservative pair who waited till they could afford it. So when my mother saw me do this, she goes when did you get smart? So 10 years ago, I think it was 2006.

Speaker 2: 7:59

I was doing an event with Trump, who at the time was known for his apprentice. Well, he was going to be two and a half hours late. I'd already spoken. I said I'll take care of it. I walked out on the stage with the quotations and I said if anybody stumps me, you get $20. So they'd pick a number, I'd tell them the quote. They'd pick a number, I'd tell them the quote and I said now here's some stories. And they'd choose a number and I tell them the story. And I was up there for over two and a half hours. The promoter said man, you're coming to all my events from now on.

Speaker 1: 8:27

Oh, now how does you go and develop that so you're, so you're, are you in your memory now? So you've got these numbered and are you practicing them over and over? And then you say, okay, I've got this one down now, so it gets added to the list. I mean, how are you making that happen?

Speaker 2: 8:47

Oh yeah, if I find an additional story that sometimes it just pops into your head like something happened in the past, they go oh, that's right, but somebody's gonna go into professional speak and I said write down every story you've ever had. I don't expect them to memorize it like I did, I just did it. Memorize it like I did, I just did it. So I would add that to remind me of, like there's the cookie story, so that's, that's my signature story that I'll. I talk about my TED talk. I use it if I've only got one story to tell an audience. But then there's the second story, and the second one deals with the car seat story, that. The third one deals with the let it go story, and these are. You know, I could stand there, just go from one to another, to another and be able. I went to speak at the prison, the correctional facility, and they said you can't take your computer in. I went oh well, no problem, I've got it all up here anyway.

Speaker 2: 9:35

And I only had a 19 on my ACT, and I say that to some kids. And then when somebody starts to laugh and I go, don't laugh. I'm not a blithering idiot, but I used to struggle in school, I used to be hard and then, as far as memory goes, man, this was a big game changer for me.

Speaker 1: 9:50

Yeah Well, and it's strategies, as you're talking here. I remember talking about this generally with my students, some of those basic strategies. And there was another one I remember chunking, where you chunk things together and that our memory can only hold like seven things at a time, like a phone number. But you can chunk things in greater amounts and it's easier to remember that way as well. So I don't know if you're familiar with that one.

Speaker 2: 10:19

Oh well, that's your memory. But when you're visualizing it, like you could give me 100 objects to memorize by number, you could say it to me and I'll have it memorized. For instance, you might say two is a camera. You see how two looks like a swan and you see that in your mind.

Speaker 2: 10:37

So I would see a swan taking pictures with a camera. You might say nine is a table. So do you see how nine kind of looks like a balloon with a string? I see a bunch of balloons and floating a table up into the air. So I've done a hundred people have given me a list of a hundred things. They go okay, one is a camera, two is a tree, three and then I could give them all back. It's because of visual.

Speaker 2: 11:04

Now, the chunking you're talking about. The example I use with that is, I go like a foreign language it's either masculine or feminine, right? So in spanish, so if you take the word table, it's masculine, so it's that anything that's masculine. Chuck it in the water, so the table's soaking wet. Um, hand is masculine, so I'm going to take my hand and stick it in the water and it's soaking wet. Well, pizza is feminine, so anything that's feminine. I put it on the beach, so I take a bite out of the pizza and it's got sand all over it. So I've taken kids through like a hundred different objects and then I'll go hand and they see it's all wet, masculine. Bam, just like that.

Speaker 1: 11:42

Oh, I like that, I like that, that. So it's really about more the visualization strategy than anything right?

Speaker 2: 11:49

yeah, because it actually. It goes into the long term instead of the short-term memory uh-huh.

Speaker 1: 11:55

So what do you say? My this podcast is obviously focused on people over 50 and um, although we have younger, younger, younger listeners. But you know, you hear people saying, as they're getting older, oh, they're talking about their memory and so on, and they're saying that it's not as sharp as it used to be, which I question that for a lot of people. What do you say to that?

Speaker 2: 12:23

Well, part of it is we don't pay as much attention. It's not that important. You go, I can't remember where I put my keys. Well, you weren't paying attention when you put your keys down, so I learned this. I am now putting my keys on the table and it works great. Not only do I know where they are, but everybody in the house does too. So to you know to pay attention to what you're doing. That's part of it, and you know part of it is aging. You know, maybe there is something going on, but there are things that I've learned that you can do to sharpen your memory. You know crossword puzzles, mental games. You know me I go over my quotations. You know, while I'm driving to my car I go okay, quotation 101 is this quotation? 102? Is this quotation? Oh, I, I can't remember that one, so I go back and review it. So it's actively learning instead of sitting there.

Speaker 1: 13:08

You know watching the television every single day yes and I I think that's yeah, the keeping the mind sharp in whatever way lights you up and and, um, yeah, that you know not being a passive learner but being an active learner. There's a big difference there in whatever you're choosing to do. So how did you start to? So this started to develop for you and I really like what you're saying. I know that our mutual friend, cara Lee you all know each other through Toastmasters and I like that idea for speakers to have their stories ready to go, and it was somebody like you to sort of really have that mapped out must be very useful. Do you coach speakers?

Speaker 2: 13:56

I have over the period of time.

Speaker 1: 13:59

Okay, so how did you begin to get on this platform? What sort of took you from one level to the next on this national and international platforms, of doing these seminars?

Speaker 2: 14:20

I go, you guys, I'm an outlier, I'm in that 2%. Just weird things happen, Like I'm doing memory seminars at universities. The guy walks up and says, hey, I big arenas all over the country with former presidents of the United States or sports stars or celebrities like Michael J Fox, and so he said, hey, we need this topic spoken on. Could you do that in front of 17,000 people? I said, yeah, probably. How long would it take you to get it prepared? I said give me about four or five days, maybe a week.

Speaker 2: 15:04

He calls me a week later the CEO of Get Motivated OK, how's that speech coming? I says I think I got it down. He says hold on. He gets the owner of the company on the phone. He says great, let's hear it. I said well, did you want me? I'm speaking to 17,000 people. I don't hear them chuckle, I don't hear any feedback for 45 minutes and at the end he goes sounds good, we'll see you in Seattle. And bam, I'm in front of 17,000 people and it worked. And so they just kept me on all the stages. And then one day the em, the MC, doesn't show up and they go Bob, could you do the? Could you be an MC? I said well, I haven't done it before, I'll give it a shot. And I just cracked jokes, because I've got over a hundred jokes memorized too. And he goes you're coming to all the events.

Speaker 1: 15:58

Wow, yeah, so that's fun doing a podcast. Yeah, oh, okay, do you do very many of them.

Speaker 2: 16:06

Oh, I've done a few over time.

Speaker 2: 16:07

Okay, I imagine the two messages I like to give everybody. Do you want to hear what those are? Sure, because my TED Talk. I have a TED Talk that deals with connection, quietness of the mind. I went from massive anxiety and panic attacks back in 2011. And I actually got through it. And the two things first, you've got to heal childhood trauma. You've been in psychology. I took care of that. I didn't know about that. Then I found out all these things that didn't seem to work, but people kept saying, oh, this is the answer, like positive psychology. Well, I became the most positive, anxious person. Then happiness I became the most positive, anxious person. Then happiness I became the most positive, happy, anxious person. Then, gratitude I became the most positive, grateful, happy. Anyway, finally, I learned about connection after healing trauma and there's a couple of important points I learned. One was this I asked 1,400 United States Air Force officers how many of you believe somebody can make you mad, right? How many hands do you think go up? Almost all of them, yeah sure.

Speaker 2: 17:10

And then I told him I spoke to all the counselors in the state of Utah. Nobody raised their hand and I said guys, if you learn this one thing, you're going to grow up really fast. Nobody makes you mad, you're triggered. It's like the little boy who says mommy, where are the stupid idiot drivers today? They only come out when your father's driving and in that moment it clicks for a lot of people.

Speaker 2: 17:31

I go both two people saw the same thing One gets angry, one does not. I go it's not what's going on out there, it's what's going on in here. And then I go to is anger bad? And then I go. Oh, you know what? It changed my life when I found out anger is a secondary emotion covering pain. And when somebody's angry, the blood leaves the frontal lobe and they will do and say things they normally wouldn't do or say. And if somebody's angry, I just sit there and listen, as long as they're not swinging their arms at me. So I let them get it off their chest. But then this is the important part I go. How many of you'd like to stop worrying about the future, beating yourself up over the past? And do you know Byron Katie's work?

Speaker 2: 18:06

oh yeah and so I I bring that up uh, what would you experience without that worry? And so I said your thoughts, your emotions are real, but it comes from thoughts. And your thoughts aren't real. And somebody goes what do you mean? I go well, picture a spider crawling across your face. They go and I go hey, there's no spider, but look at the power of thought. So, making a long story short, somebody wants to watch the ted talk. They could hear the longer story.

Speaker 2: 18:30

For three months I practiced what would you experience without that worry? I went oh, I'd be at peace. And I put reminders all over my house, all over my car. And after three months, bob, when you wake up, I'll tell you one of three things that got outside your bladder we can't save you. Or two it got into the bladder wall. We removed your bladder. Or three, it got into the lining. You've got a 95 percent chance of living the next five years. When he said that, I went OK, I'm on the operating table, he's ready to put me under. And he looks at me and he goes what's going on with you? I go what, pal? I'm looking at your vitals. Your heart rate is 60. Your blood pressure is normal and you look cool as a cucumber, aren't you worried what I'm going to tell you when you wake up? I go no, I'm fine. Hey, did everybody have lunch? Is everybody happy? And I'm cracking jokes? He goes how are you doing this? I later.

Speaker 1: 19:26

Wow, yeah, thoughts are so powerful. And yes, I Byron Katie that, that piece where, yeah, who would you be without this worry or without this thought? And it just when you, when you I know the first time I read that from her I just I could feel the ah, who would you be without that? And and just choosing, well, I'm not, I'm not going to choose that thought right now, I'm going to let that go. And sometimes you know that that that can sound. Maybe that's too easy, sounds too easy, but it really is true once you start to practice it and it brings you back, even if you are going to, you are feeling anxious or you're worried and you, okay, who would I be without this? Because it gets to more I think of our essence and who we really are. We're not our thoughts.

Speaker 2: 20:13

I like that quotation. 99% of our thoughts are a total waste of time and they do nothing but freak us out.

Speaker 1: 20:18

Yes, yes. What's the name of the TED Talk again?

Speaker 2: 20:22

It's called Connection Quiets the Mind. It's on my website, expertsbobcom.

Speaker 1: 20:28

Okay, connection Quiets the mind, oh, and, by the way, long as I'm on a podcast.

Speaker 2: 20:32

I've told audiences for 10 years. I speak to kids in schools and to addiction recovery centers, halfway houses in the military and prisons pro bono. And so I said you can open up the door. I'll show up. A guy from Iowa calls me how many high schools can you do in a day? And I said probably two, because I like to hang around afterwards. Calls me a couple of days later he goes I got 20 schools lined up for you.

Speaker 2: 20:56

So I flew out there and I did 20 schools and had the time of my life.

Speaker 1: 21:01

Oh, that's fantastic and I know that technology is part of your message and blue lights and all that's tied up with our smartphones and I think that applies very much. It's great that you're giving this message to the schools, but I think it applies across all ages and what this technology is doing. What are your insights there?

Speaker 2: 21:27

Oh God, there's so many. For instance, our brains are being overstimulated. Every time you get a notification on your phone, you get hit with cortisol. Cortisol is a stress hormone. Every time you see something you like, like you're scrolling, you get hit with dopamine. And that's the addictive feature. It's like a thought machine you lose, you lose, you lose, you win An intermittent variable reward when you don't know when you're going to win, and that's what hooks you into it.

Speaker 2: 21:52

And the problem with our kids is, you know, seven years ago, when I mentioned this, I'd say how many of you have heard that smartphones aren't good for you? Nobody raises their hands In a high school right now I could walk in any school. How many of you have heard these might not be good for you? They all raise their hands, but if they're under 25 years old and you know this they can't self-regulate, they're addicted, and there's a lot of adults that are addicted Just to be aware of that that if your brain gets overstimulated, then it's going to shut down and that's what depression looks like and then you go.

Speaker 2: 22:23

Why am I sad all the time? Why can't I sleep all the time? Well, there was one individual professional whose doctor said pal, just get off your smartphone, your stomach problems will probably get better and your headaches. And he goes I can't do that. He says well then, don't complain anymore. And he finally did. It told the staff this is what I'm going to do. If you need me, come to my office or call me on my regular phone and his physical ailments went away.

Speaker 1: 22:49

And I think we can't say enough about this issue because it is affecting us more than we realize in a lot of cases. And what would be some strategies that you recommend that people try, if they're trying to get it under control, and it takes really some consistency and some discipline, to sort of put it. You know, I always used to say to the kids you control and our kids, my own kids, and then my students you control the technology, the technology does not control you and some, somehow it starts, seems like it's starting to shift there. So what are your strategies you suggest to people?

Speaker 2: 23:29

Well, yeah, it goes back to it's a great tool, but is the tool using you and it is using you if you and there's some questions you can look am I addicted? Is it? Do I have to take my phone with me everywhere? Do I feel like I'm missing out if I don't keep looking at it? There's a lot of times seem to go by when I'm on the phone. Well then, you might be addicted.

Speaker 2: 23:54

So one of the first things I did because I was addicted, like everyone else, I'd get that phantom buzzing in my pocket when there was no phone there, etc. I went to black and white. There's a gray screen. You can, especially if you have children, if you want to get them off of it. You can't just go cold turkey because they're gonna have a fit. It's it's an addiction and there's a withdrawal. So I went to black and white, made it less appealing. Then I tried to go I'm not going to look at it for 30 minutes and I set an alarm where I'd see it in 30 minutes, but I turned all my notifications off and I let everyone know hey, I'm not going to get right back to you if you send me a message or I don't look at all my messages on Instagram and Facebook. If you need me, I've got a phone, call me and nobody wants to talk anymore. They want to text, so it's just weaning yourself off.

Speaker 2: 24:38

When you get in the car, throw it in the trunk, do not have it next to you, do not take it into your bedroom with you. Well, I need it for an alarm clock. Buy an alarm clock, keep your phone out of there. But it's little things like that and there's so many articles and podcasts on it. But, yeah, step one, go to black and white. And then, if you can get off of all social media and here we are on social media. But once again, if you're using it as a tool, that's fine. I'm using it to learn Great, you're being educated, that's great.

Speaker 2: 25:10

But if you got to look at it and go, what you know? Who just divorced? Who in you know hollywood? Uh, and what's the latest breaking news? I mean somebody's dealing with depression and anxiety. I mean you, you know this probably. Stop watching the news, quit looking for the one place in the world where the weather's bad. Look out your window, go. It's a beautiful day. I like what Byron Katie said You're in heaven right now, except for the thought that kicks you out of heaven.

Speaker 1: 25:35

That's right. That's right, I know. For me, in starting this podcast I had pretty much gotten off all social media and with this podcast I'm back on because I realized how do I let people get how you know I, how do I let people know I'm doing this? So I've had to make peace with the social media thing again in my own life and I think I'm there, I have my moments. But but even even monitoring that with with this podcast and saying Okay, I put it out there, I put it down, walk away. There's some. There's a family down the street from us that has five kids and the rule in that family they were just telling me the other day that they do not get a smartphone, they don't get a phone until they're 16. And I was so impressed by that because I can't imagine now raising kids in this sort of climate and trying to deal with the technology all around them and have it be healthy.

Speaker 2: 26:43

Well, there was an 18 year old. I was at a, I was at a event and we had this wonderful conversation. And I said this out of the blue I'll bet you your parents don't let you use electronics. And she goes how did you know? I said cause you can carry out a conversation.

Speaker 1: 26:58

Yeah, and and it's. It's something to really think about with with the kids. What do you say about the blue light too, because I think a lot of people don't realize how that can affect their sleep and mood.

Speaker 2: 27:11

Well, yeah, I'm speaking to at an Air Force base where the guys are all drone pilots or intelligence officers. I go, guys, you're all looking at a screen all day. I'll go. How many of you go home and then you're playing games? And a whole bunch of them are. How many of you are having trouble sleeping at night? And a whole bunch of them are. How many of you are having trouble sleeping at night? So I said, if nothing else, go get blue light blocking glasses, because I mean gamers, professional gamers they wear blue light blocking glasses. There's a reason for that Because it's better for you. So if you're stuck looking at a screen, you know there's adjustments and stuff you can make, but that's not good enough. Go get blue light blocking glasses. In fact, if you have a prescription, you can add that to the prescription too.

Speaker 1: 27:56

Oh, really Okay. Yeah, I know I've made some adjustments in my screens to block some of it, but I feel like I could do more with that.

Speaker 2: 28:06

A simple pair of glasses. You can get them on eBay. You can walk into any pharmacy.

Speaker 1: 28:11

They have them yeah, and the black and white was that that adjustment that you made to make it less colorful, so it was less appealing. Was that a setting that you changed, or?

Speaker 2: 28:22

yeah, there's a setting on there and you can. You can look up how to do it. I don't remember anymore because I don't I, I'm not in. In fact, I'll actually go out for the day and not even have my phone with me sometimes. Right, so I finally got to a place where I go. Oh, I'm not addicted anymore.

Speaker 1: 28:38

Yeah, I quite often will leave it in my car. When I'm out and about, I don't bring it into places. If I'm meeting with friends and stuff, I don't, I don't bring it in and inevitably I'll be the one at the table that, oh well, when are we going to meet again? And everybody pulls out their phone and I'll say, oh well, I'll just write it down and when I get in the car I'll change it. Because the other thing I'm noticing, even in the last month, six weeks, these QR codes that everybody wants you to scan for something I'm going, what are we doing here, people, I that I'm really resisting but I'm finding I'm, I'm having to. There's a couple of governmental situations where I had to, I had to scan it in order for me to continue on and get get done what I needed to get done. And I thought, boy, this is coming hard and fast.

Speaker 2: 29:28

Well, once again, it's a tool. If it's a tool to keep in contact with everyone, that's great. But if you're sitting there where you know, there was a joke I saw where the husband and wife both put their smartphones on, taped it to their forehead so they could communicate with each other. You know, I was at junior high school this was about five years ago and this kid goes you're a nobody, I go. What? You didn't talk to five million people all over the world? You're a nobody, I go. Oh, that's interesting.

Speaker 2: 29:56

Why did you say that? Because you don't have a following on Instagram. I went, really. So I started asking my professional audiences to follow me. I said now, I'm not going to follow you back, it's just so I have a big number, so that I can get into the schools and have credibility to tell them to get off of social media, which is crazy. So two years later, I go back into that same school and these girls on the front go wow, you've got 10,000 followers on Instagram. That's great. I said well, what if I had two followers? Well, that would be bad. Well, not bad, it just means you don't know anybody. I go. You think I know 10,000 people? I go. You guys have been hoodwinked into thinking having followers has something to do with your worth. In fact, can I tell you one thing about worth real quick.

Speaker 1: 30:36

Absolutely.

Speaker 2: 30:37

In the book the Path of no Resistance. He's a sports psychologist for the NFL and he was asked what do you do to get the kicker ready to kick the winning field goal in the Super Bowl? He goes. I don't get the kicker ready to kick the winning field goal in the Super Bowl. I get them ready to be okay either way, because your worth has nothing to do with the football going through the uprights.

Speaker 2: 30:59

If the fans are upset, who's got the problem? And by now the kids the kids in a high school assembly go the fans. If the coach is upset, who's got the problem? They go the coach. If somebody goes, I'm disappointed in you. Who's got the problem? That person and I go, you guys are getting it now. It's not your job to go tell your coach at that point because the blood's left his frontal lobe, he's not in a place to talk, but if you just understand. So I had a kid in a high school and, uh, he goes. Dude, I don't get grounded by my mother anymore. I said why? Why not? Because when she's mad I know she just needs a hug.

Speaker 1: 31:33

Oh yeah, giving her that space, giving people the space to, like you say, they've been triggered for whatever reason, and giving them the space to come back into balance.

Speaker 2: 31:45

Wouldn't our whole world change if everybody quit blaming everybody else for how they're feeling? I'm offended that you said that. Well, you're the one with the problem.

Speaker 1: 31:53

It is yeah, yeah, because I mean we could go, and it's perspective, perspective, perspective. What, as you walk around your world, what are you interpreting and what are you deciding has meaning for you?

Speaker 2: 32:06

Yeah, gail, I was dating called me one day and goes okay, let me get this straight. If you're doing something that's ticking me off, I'm the one with the problem. I go, yes, but feel free to let me know, cause I'm not going to do it on purpose. You've heard of pushing people's buttons, or?

Speaker 1: 32:22

triggering them. I'm not going to do it on purpose. Thank you for letting me know. Yeah, yeah, because we all can adapt and adjust. And and I, I, I love the four agreements is another very favorite book of mine, and the, the, I think it's the third one where it says don't take things personal. Yeah, and and that a lot, a lot of what's going on has nothing to do with me.

Speaker 2: 32:47

Right.

Speaker 1: 32:48

I that so often when I'm dealing with those, that someone has been triggered around me and I and I think to myself well, this, this, probably it could have something to do with me, but it probably doesn't, and so don't take it personal right yeah, that's one of the things I got memorized, the four agreements and then the seven habits of highly effective people, and so I just always add those on to the things that I've got sitting in my head.

Speaker 1: 33:13

Yeah, oh, stephen Covey had so many great ones in that book. So in wrapping up here, you sound like a very busy guy. What are some of your favorite places where you like to go and talk? What are the most gratifying for you?

Speaker 2: 33:31

You know it's really funny. I was asked to speak to 408th graders at Lake Ridge Junior High School about 14 years ago and I'm speaking on the big stages all over the country. Right, they asked me to come back the next year, so I did. Then they asked me to come back the next year, so I did, and I had this awareness one day going. This is my favorite talk speaking to the kids. So eighth graders and up college students and the other ones I love speaking to are the correctional facilities and the addiction recovery centers and the halfway houses, because, if you, I can look at those guys and tell them I love them.

Speaker 2: 34:12

And I said it's amazing, you're still alive and if you've heard their stories, you just go. If you had been in this situation, would you have even made it that far? And I had one of them come up and say if the guards could see us the way you see us, we'd never have a problem here. But yeah, those, those are my favorite audiences, the ones who want to learn that want to go. I, I don't like where I am, I'm trying to figure this out and um and. And my favorite part is to see their eyes light up, like, oh, I didn't know I could memorize like that. Or or, oh, I didn't know that I'm triggered, that I could stop blaming them. Or, oh, I didn't, I didn't know that connection is so important, like looking in each other's eyes, you know, just to teach them that. Did you know that when you look at somebody's eyes, that actually calms both of your sympathetic nervous systems? Well, unless you hate them, but anyway.

Speaker 1: 35:00

Mm-hmm. Well, unless you hate them, but anyway. Well, it sounds like you are empowering and uplifting. You know a lot of different groups and planting seeds, giving them food for thought, and probably in a much greater way than you even realize.

Speaker 2: 35:19

Every once in a while I am reminded. It's like that thing. There's no such thing as a small act of kindness. Each act creates a ripple with no logical end. Yeah, every once in a while somebody reminds me that, uh, they go keep doing what you're doing.

Speaker 1: 35:34

So what's next for you in 2024?

Speaker 2: 35:39

Uh, I just have a policy to wake up every day and go who can I inspire today, teach today or make laugh today? And then sometimes it was 30 000 people in an arena or 1500 kids in a school, but and I tell everybody this, more often than not it's the lady behind the counter in the convenience store and across from lone peak. I know her name and when I walk in for the last four years she knows, she knows I'm gonna make her smile or leave her with a smile. So you know, I just stepped through the doors that open. Actually, when COVID hit speaking, died, and then my promoter, two of them died, and so I'm not on the big stages with Tony Robbins all over the country anymore, with the ones that he set up. So I speak at little things like the, you know, future farmers of America for the high schools in the area, or, you know, something always turns up.

Speaker 1: 36:29

Did you end up doing online seminar type stuff and, as a result of that, during COVID there were a few people that had me do that.

Speaker 2: 36:40

I've done a few podcasts but see, I've never been a marketer. I don't go out looking for it, I just kind of, you know, go with the flow and see what happens, which drives some people crazy, but it seems to have worked for me.

Speaker 1: 36:52

But once again my son said dad, did you ever read the book Outliers by Malcolm Gladwell? You're an outlier, You're just not normal. Well, it sounds like you're just I call it following the magic breadcrumbs as they come to you, and really I mean, I think that's the more exciting way to live.

Speaker 2: 37:11

Yeah, it is funny and this goes into a long story, but making it short, somebody said what if life is a sacred journey, living from moment to moment? He said just go out without any plans and watch what happens. And I watched the most remarkable things happen. In fact, michael singer. After I did this for four years, I read michael singer's the surrender experiment. I go.

Speaker 1: 37:31

He's been doing this since 1986 yeah, I'm not the only one yes, I, that's one of my favorite books. Yeah, he's.

Speaker 2: 37:39

He's just right up here in gainville oh awesome, oh when I read untethered soul, I go, this is great. I love that little part. Favorite books yeah, he's. He's just right up here in Gainesville. Oh, when I read Unpethered Soul, I go, this is great. I love that little part. You know the talking going on in your head.

Speaker 1: 37:52

You know the talking, arguing with the talking. Which one is you? So any final thoughts as we wrap up here that you want to leave, uh, our, my listeners with my listeners with.

Speaker 2: 38:02

Maybe it's I have because I was doing the Instagram for that one school. One day I just got this wild idea I think I'll do a one minute with Bob. So I did five of them and I stopped and a bunch of people complained. So then I did 500 of them and then I stopped and I go. Well, I don't have anything else to say. And people complain, they go. The only reason I have Facebook is I have my kids watch a one minute with Bob every day and I go really. So I started doing them again and I've got them on Instagram, facebook, tiktok, but once again, I don't go. Look at everybody else's stuff. But the reason I'm just bringing this up today's was this Yesterday I was listening to a podcast and the guy said something interesting that caught my attention and it's this, and so I made it into a little acronym, asp, like an ask, and I put the letter J at the end Alleviate suffering, promote joy.

Speaker 2: 38:56

He said. If you can find that as your purpose, you've arrived. Alleviate suffering, promote joy. And you know what I was thinking Begin with yourself, figure out how to alleviate suffering in your life, like some of the things we've been talking about, and then go out and promote joy to the world, and that's what we need.

Speaker 1: 39:14

So we'll have all that in the show notes so that people can find it, because that sounds like something really cool that people would want to listen to daily.

Speaker 2: 39:23

Well, there's 500 of them, or 600 of them, that'll keep them busy.

Speaker 1: 39:27

Yeah, definitely over a year and a half's worth, almost.

Speaker 2: 39:31

And that's everything I know. So there you go.

Speaker 1: 39:34

Well, it sounds like you are the epitome of leading a meaningful and moxie-filled life. What would you say to your 20 year old self?

Speaker 2: 39:47

Oh, you know, it's interesting. When I was 19 or 20 years I think it was 19 years old I had 70,000 people jumped to their feet and gave my performance a standing ovation, because I just missed a field goal. And that team was that crowd because it was an away game at Arizona State. They were happy and I remember it saying, if I wish I could go back and put my arm around that kid and say, listen, it's going to be okay, it's going to work out. This isn't the end of the world.

Speaker 1: 40:18

Yes, yes, Words of wisdom for sure. Well, we thank you so much for taking time to be with us and giving us this really good food for thought and have us thinking about working on our memories and the show notes. Look for Bob in different places. Maybe you'll be coming over to the East Coast sometime and giving some. You ever come to Florida.

Speaker 2: 40:50

Oh, I've been to 300 cities all over the United States, but that's when I was on tours. Right now there's not tours. But I did go to Fort Lauderdale because somebody invited me to go to speak at four inner city schools. So if you want to hear me speak, get a school to have me come out. I've got tons of frequent flyer miles. I've flown over 5 million miles with Delta. I'll just fly out there. Have a vacation in Florida and come listen.

Speaker 1: 41:13

Okay, you're on, you're on. Thank you, mr Bob Cattell. We really appreciate you. Bye, everybody.

Speaker 2: 41:21

Bye bye.

Speaker 1: 41:22

Take care now. If this podcast was valuable to you, it would mean so much if you could take 30 seconds to do one or all of these three things Follow or subscribe to the podcast and, while they're, leave a review and then maybe share this with a friend if you think they'd like it In a world full of lots of distractions. I so appreciate you taking the time to listen in. Until next time, be well and take care.