Procrastination, Perfectionism and Rejection

On today's episode, Ben and Channing talk about their struggles with procrastination, perfectionism, preparation, and rejection, and how they've managed to work together and learn how to lean on each other's strengths and help out in the other's weaknesses.


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Transcript

Channing: I'm so scared of people rejecting me. I will either not say anything and stand in the corner or I share too much because I'm so nervous about you rejecting me. I'm just going to make you reject me from the beginning so I don't have to worry about it anymore.

Ben: Welcome to Velvet Ventures

Channing: Where we talk about life, marriage, and the pursuit of entrepreneurship.

Ben: I'm Ben

Channing: And I'm Channing

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Channing: So, you like to research and analyze, and I much more jump in and I'll figure it out.

Ben: Yeah, this is true.

Channing: So, like, the podcast, for instance, has already caused a few, I wouldn't say arguments, disagreements, for sure.

Ben: Sure. Differing viewpoints.

Channing: Yeah. Because for me, like, I found cheap microphones. And just figured that we had enough smart equipment that we could figure out how to make it work. And I've edited two podcasts when I worked at that financial. And so I used to edit their radio broadcasts. So, I just figured technology couldn't have changed much in eight years, six years. And, basically, once you said, yeah, sounds like a good idea, I took that as full blown like, we have a podcast now. What should we name it?

Ben: It's kind of like, the way that I attribute your decision making sometimes is, this is a bad example, but it's like when two people decide, let's have a kid, and the other one just says, Awesome. I've already found us a new house that hasn't had a bedroom. Um, I've already named it. I've got the room painted. I've already ordered I know what colors they're going to. I've already ordered all their clothes. I've ordered diapers. I've gotten this. I've gotten that. And the other person is just over here going I just meant I like the idea of it, and I want to do it someday, not, let's do it, you know?

Channing: And so, that's a pretty, I think that's a pretty fair representation of our styles in taking something and running with it.

Ben: Yeah.

Channing: Well, I think we both, in our own ways, frustrate each other probably just as much. Like, you frustrate me just at the same level as I frustrate you.

Ben: That's what she thinks.

Channing: And there's sometimes, when it's almost like we're in a canyon, but you're at one end and I'm at the other. And so by the time the word is getting to you, it's just a faint whisper, so you don't understand it. And the same for your end. Cause there's times when like, like the first time that we recorded, so it's like our pre, our pre launch episode, cause it's where we were kind of working out all the bugs and figuring out where to put the camera, or, yeah, where to put the camera, how the lights, and how close to sit to the microphones, and so the sound's not the best quality on that. And I had already found like, here's a software that's free, this is how I'm gonna edit it, and I'm just gonna figure out how it works, even though it's not the ideal look. Like, I don't like the way it looks. And so, I already figured that out, put it into iMovie, and like, had the first episode done. And then the next morning, you woke up, and you were like, When I came out of the bedroom, you had like, all this research that you were just like, throwing at me and I was like, I don't know what you're talking about. We've already, like, it's already done. I don't need to know how to do this. I already did it. For me, that's like so frustrating. But for you it's like, well, why are you just taking the first thing that you found and running with it? Like we could have done more research and how do you know that's the most efficient and what if that's not the way the, not the format it's supposed to be edited in and

Ben: Yeah. Well I think using, you know, I like parables. It's like you'll get in the car and go, and then we get, you know, halfway in the general direction and go, Oh, I should probably pull up the map and see exactly where we're going. Whereas, I've already pulled it up and looked at three different routes to see which ones are most efficient and looked at the menu.

Channing: Yeah, you like a vacation itinerary?

Ben: Yes.

Channing: I couldn't care less.

Ben: You'll just show up.

Channing: I don't even know if I booked the right hotel.

Ben: You'll just show up and assume everything's gonna work out and we're gonna go in and have made sure that we've scheduled fun time, but I'm very much a I will look into this and I will see, because to me, I look at it like with a lot of things from, you know, power tools to cars, to, you know, what, what kind of iPad or anything like that would be beneficial and I look at it because, you know, like when you're setting up automations in the business, you're looking at this as a way that's going to save time in the future. And that's the way I look at. a lot of the things in our day to day life. And equipment, too, because it's like, yeah, you can get a cheap X, Y, and Z, but it sucks. And it takes more steps, not always, but sometimes those things tend to take more steps to get them to work properly the way you wanted it done than it was to spend the hour doing research and find the thing that's going to do what it is exactly.

Channing: Sure.

Ben: Not to say that they both don't end up at the same destination. I'm just very much, I want to figure those things out ahead of time, and you will create a problem to solve.

Channing: I'll run full force into the wall, and then cut the door.

Ben: Right. And so, yes, we're very opposite in that regard, because then it just stresses me out sometimes whenever you are sitting over there just like, I'm so frustrated that I can't figure out how to make this work. Give me 15 minutes, let me go look, and I'll get back to you, and then five minutes later it's, here, try this. And then, a good amount of the time it's, If that didn't work, it led you to the thing that does. Like, oh, there it is. There's that setting. There's that toggle.

Channing: And sometimes, my technology just needs me to tattle on it, and you don't have to do a dang thing, but look at it, and so it can make me look like a fool. I get gaslit by my technology constantly. Constantly.

Ben: I think you are definitely one of those people that loves, or likes the idea of technology, but in practice

Channing: Yeah, I'm more like, I want technology, but I just, I just want it to do what it needs to do. Like, I don't need all... But there's other areas too though, cause like our CRM... All the bells and whistles, love it. And I use literally every single function of it on a weekly basis. But then there's other things where I'm like, why'd you make it so complicated? Like, it needs to do this one thing. Why did you add 27 steps to do this one thing?

Ben: Yeah, you have this immensely robust CRM. You just get tickled to death with all the automations and this, that, and the other. But I cannot get you to download the Sonos app for the home and use it. Because, like, I put a speaker in your office.

Channing: You did?

Ben: And, well, I took it out of since. Oh. And you never used it. It just sat there for a year.

Channing: If I can't use it with my voice, I don't want it.

Ben: Well, and even if you do with your voice, half the time you don't, you know, you don't utilize things on a regular basis, I guess. So it's funny to me, sometimes, because I just wish there was a piece of technology that would do this. I'm like, We have seven of them. But you don't care to use them. And we've had them for years. You know, and so, and sometimes it's funny too, because then they don't even listen to you. You know, if you're talking to Google, or you're talking to Siri, and, you know, you ask it for something, and it just goes, you know, and so,

Channing: She doesn't listen to me.

Ben: So, I look at things like, I just want things to work. And I think that I've learned, and I mean partially too, because like, so back when I was growing up, and growing up on a farm, we had a lot of, there's a lot of moving parts. And so, you know, and we, we didn't live in town. So obviously, I mean, you know, part, it would take an hour out of your day to go get that part and so. I'm going to attribute some of this to my upbringing and just verify, verify, verify this, what you need, because we're only going to make one trip. And so that I think has bled into the way I make decisions in that. You have the part, you know, this is what it needs to do. Or, you know, you've created a whole schematic because you need this thing to do this task and you have to build it. So like you're, well, I need a two inch pipe here and I need a male threaded nipple over here, and then it you know, an elbow over here. So like you're creating, whether that's plumbing or, you know, something you'd be creating it. And then it's, you know, then you go to the hardware store in town and then you build it out there with them. And, you know, you talk to them and he can advise you on how to do this because you, last thing you want to do is get back, get it 90 percent assembled and realize it was a little bit too small. And so now it doesn't flow. You know, the water doesn't flow, or the oil doesn't flow, or whatever it may be. And then you gotta start all over, or you just waste half your day. And so I think that some of that has bled over into just my every, most, for the most part, everyday life and decision making is, you know, you go into it without any expectation of having to redo it. Just do it once. See, and I'm very much not that way.

Channing: Right. But I think what is good is like, I'm a really good starter, and you're a really good finisher. And so like I can get in and start a project and then I hit the wall and you come in and cut the door. So that I can just keep going full force.

Ben: Right.

Channing: But I have had to realize like, once, once I give you a task, it needs to be yours. And like, unless you ask me, I just need to let you have it, but if I have an expectation of a timeline or a deadline or whatever, then that needs to be given when that task is given. And so like, with the content, now you're doing the captions. And so I have to be very clear. That I want them finished by this date every month and here's the pieces and here's how many pieces and for what companies and then I have to just step out and so if you want to take the whole two weeks to do it. I have to be okay with that even though for me I'm like, no, I would just work 12 hours and then it'd be done. But like you want it done to the best of your ability and so I need to give you the time to do that. So that it's still getting done by the time that I want.

Ben: Yeah.

Channing: And you'll get faster as you get more comfortable with the tasks.

Ben: Right.

Channing: But like, it'd be like you asking me to build a cabinet and then saying I have one day to do it.

Ben: Right.

Channing: I don't frickin know. I mean, I can get it done, cause everything's figureoutable. It's gonna look like total crap. But it is not gonna be functioning either. It's just gonna look like a cabinet.

Ben: Ikea is your worst nightmare cause it's almost all done and that I think would just stress me.

Channing: It would, yeah. Although I do love Ikea.

Ben: Yeah. So I mean, I think for me. Very much, I want to try to do it one time and I understand that that's not always the case, but even like with the captions, when I was going through, you know, I'm trying to do my, I'm trying to do all the edits then and there and see like, okay, so we've used this opener ready to launch twice in two weeks. So let me bump this one down over here and I mean, it's not perfect, but when I would try to notice those things. I try to move things around and make sure that we're not using

Channing: Repetitive?

Ben: Yeah, and just, and it's not even about repetitive, but similarities. So if there's, you know, a week during this month long campaign that, you know, had multiple questions, I would maybe move some of those around and make it to where it has some questions and some other content, some facts, and not just, and this week is all questions, questions, questions. I think that that's where, and I wouldn't even call it perfectionism, because like, it's not perfect, but it's definitely, I want it to where when you take over, you can just go do your job. You know, it would be like, going back to my culinary days, you know, it'd be like if I broke down a piece of beef, but I left the bone in the middle and just said, like, well, I mean, I got most of it. Well, that's going to really slow down the next guy. And yeah, I did pretty much what I was supposed to do. Like, I didn't do what I was supposed to do to the fullest and a hundred percent. And so that's, that's where I will take longer and I'm more, not more, but I am a more methodical person, um, when it comes to just about everything. Um, and so as someone who likes to run, not physically. Um, I know that that's frustrating, and sometimes for me it's frustrating because I get brought these problems that you, and it doesn't happen all the time, but when you run, run, run, run, run towards something, and you never once read the instructions, or never once

Channing: We called them destructions in my house.

Ben: Yeah, you never once looked at anything and you just bring me a problem. I can't get used to work. Did you all look at this? Oh no. Yeah. You should go do that. Yeah. And then you can come back and talk.

Channing: Well, I just have to realize, too, like, when we started Dallowry, you were still working in 9 to 5, so you weren't in the business.

Ben: Right.

Channing: And so, I just needed content going out. Like, that was, that was the expectation. It wasn't that it's the best, or that it's the most original, or that it's not repetitive, or that... Is it there?

Ben: Right.

Channing: And now, that you're in the business... The quality can go up because there's a whole other person that can devote time to this task.

Ben: Right.

Channing: And so it's not reasonable for me to expect, nor is it beneficial for me to expect, that the task takes the same amount of time, or is done in the same way, or is done to the same quality.

Ben: Right.

Channing: Yeah, I mean But it's still very frustrating. Just like I'm sure it's very frustrating. For you. And I just have to realize, too, like, because we use ChatGBT for a ton of stuff, like, we're gonna, I use ChatGBT at least once a day, if not more, and so we run a lot of our content ideas through ChatGBT so it can help us with the exact language, like, we'll have an idea and we kind of push it through, um, and so I have to realize, like, I've been using ChatGBT every single day for six to eight months. You have just started using chat GPT on a daily basis. And so I have learned How to communicate with it.

Ben: Yeah more.

Channing: I was gonna say more better. This is why we use chat GPT Mo better But I know the kind of language that it needs to get me the responses that I'm actually looking for and so now you're trying to learn that and some of that needs to be me walking alongside you and helping but because of the way that you learn and so that our marriage isn't constantly in friction, like, you need to be able to research some of that on your own, and you need to be able to trial and error it on your own, and there's been times you hit that wall and you're like, hey, it just keeps spitting out the same, like, I don't understand, it's giving me the exact same response three times in a row, then I can come in and say, oh, okay, well, throw this at it, and then it breaks that chain, um, but I, I definitely think there's positives and negatives to both. And what's funny is, now that we're talking about it, I actually think it is our fear archetypes coming out.

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Channing: So we read Do It Scared Earlier this year by Ruth, I think you say her name is Soukup. Something like that. Anyways, it's called Do It Scared. Very good. Very good. Highly recommend. And it's about the, what are there, seven fear archetypes?

Ben: Seven fear archetypes.

Channing: So, I am a, what was the word that she used? Basically, I'm so scared of people rejecting me. This is my people pleaser coming off

Ben: Procrastination or something.

Channing: Like she used No, no, it's not procrastination. It's almost ostracization. So I'll walk up

Ben: Outcast

Channing: Yes, the outcast. I'll either not say anything and stand in the corner, or I share too much because I'm so nervous about you rejecting me. I'm just gonna make you reject me from the beginning, right? So I don't have to worry about it anymore. Like, it was my choice that you rejected me.

Ben: Right.

Channing: And so, I'm the outcast and I'm the people pleaser, because those are both fear archetypes. And for me, those go very much hand in hand. And it's one of the reasons why networking does make me nervous. Like, it doesn't matter how long I've been doing it. When we have the big, there's a quarterly event that happens. It's called Conversation Over Cocktails. And every time that we've had it, I prefer to be at the check in stand with a job. I don't want to walk around and mix and mingle, like, that makes me very, very nervous. But the table is a really good compromise because I still get to see everyone, I still get to say hi to everyone, but it's not putting me in that vulnerable state of being rejected. And not to, like, nobody's rejected me. It's a, it's a subconscious fear that, and it's not really all that logical.

Ben: Yeah.

Channing: But it is what it is, and yours was the procrastinator, and the procrastinator is not so much that you like, procrastination is looked at as laziness a lot. It's not laziness. It's actually stemming from perfectionism, and you're so nervous about it not being everything that it can be, that you wait until the last minute. And then there's another side of procrastination, which I don't think you're really this side, but there's the hero complex with procrastination. So, I'm gonna wait until the last minute and then I'm gonna, well I just put in 80 hours to get this done.

Ben: Right.

Channing: Okay, but you had a month to do it. Right, that was your choice. Yeah, so it doesn't make you... A hero or anybody.

Ben: Right.

Channing: But, I think that our fear archetypes come out a lot in the way that we operate. Because for me, like, I'm just gonna run full force into that wall. And when that wall rejects me, like, it was my choice. Right. You know? Instead of, and like you, I'm gonna research this because I want it to be everything that it can be.

Ben: Right. I just, I can't stand the frustration of when something doesn't work. You know?

Channing: And I prefer a little bit of chaos.

Ben: Yeah. And so I want I will spend an hour reading about how to, you know, and, and that's kind of over exaggeration. I'll spend 15 minutes reading how to like reboot or reset something before I try to reset it. Because if I'm trying to reset, I mean, for instance, like whenever I first got my, you know, first iPhone, for instance, and came from Android, you know, it was very frustrating for me. You know, just the new, learning a new task. We're learning how to transfer over all my data. And so now, even though I've been using. Apple products for a long time. Anytime I go to transfer from a newer device, because it is newer and things move and systems change, like I will watch something or read something on how to transfer data or how to reset or how to do a factory reset, or like when I buy a Sonos speaker, if it's secondhand, how to do a factory reset to remove the old system, put it online because the first time I did it. I spent 20 or 30 minutes trying to figure out something. It, it should just be unplugged and push this. And that wasn't it. I was missing, literally pushing one other button or holding it down until it linked a certain color. And, you know, typically you hold something down and you think I'm going to wait three, five, maybe 10 seconds, but it was very specific, you know, whatever it was, it was 15 to 20 seconds. That's not your typical thing. So I was letting up before then. And that was just very frustrating. But then once I watched a two and a half minute long video that showed how to properly do this, now it's just a breeze to do.

Channing: I really like problem solving. So I think subconsciously I create problems for myself a lot more frequently than I need to.

Ben: I would agree with that one thousand percent.

Channing: But I do, I like problem solving and so it's not that I intentionally do it, but between my belief that everything's gonna work out, everything's figureoutable, if I hit the wall it's not gonna hurt that bad, and I love solving problems, like that's a perfect storm for me to just It is a china shop.

Ben: And I think that, for me, I love, I mean, I also love solving problems, but I like solving other people's problems. I don't like creating problems for myself. Marrying you was my ultimate self proclaiming problem to continually solve because you bring me problems to solve. Thank you.

Channing: You like solving other people's problems? I bring you problems. I just want to make you happy. You know, I just want to please you.

Ben: You do so good. Um, but yeah, I mean, I like, I like being there to help people and walk through them, not through them, walk with them through their problems to help them self realize how to fix it because they probably already knew or like, it's kind of like that whole thing of, you know, is this the right thing to do or is it not, and then you kind of walk through it and you just, you knew what the right answer was all along, you just need someone else to kind of walk you through the reassuring yourself, and so I think that I enjoy that part of problem solving, but I do not enjoy Just having problems. I want everything to work as it should. I want, um, I want everything to connect and work smoothly. And so, yes, I will typically read through or whatnot to make sure that that will happen. Like, at this point, my MacBook and iMac won't really, like, I run into problems all the time when I'm trying to, like, export movies or export long form videos or whatever.

Channing: And I mean, honestly, I just assumed I need to get a new machine.

Ben: Sure.

Channing: I'm sure it's something simple, but like, I don't know. I, my iCloud doesn't work unless I click a button. That's probably not normal.

Ben: Like, yeah. Well, I think a lot of times too, it's again, this, this falls under the, uh, the over analytical side, but you know, like when Apple releases updates and you have it set on auto update. You have no clue when it updates or that it updated. Sometimes when Apple updates stuff, they will toggle things off by default. And so when you have this problem, instead of just looking it up real quick, like, Hey, I'm having an issue. It could be because they just rolled out, you know, whatever version 3.0 of and when they did that, now this, you know, airdrop is off by default and you need to go manually toggle it back on.

Channing: Yeah. For like six months, my Mac book would not accept any airdrops. I had the email now all of a sudden works. I told you about it works gas lit.

Ben: And so, um, and so I think that that's, that's one of those things too, where, you know, I know several people that refuse to like get on a chat to ask somebody, because like you will sit there and try to figure something out and I will immediately, if after five minutes can't figure it out, I am on a chat bubble. I'll figure it out or I'll just live with it. Yeah, I'm not going to waste my time trying to figure it out when there's literally someone who gets paid to show me how it works. So, I will utilize them nine times out of ten when it comes to things that, you know, I need this to work. I'm not going to spend two hours clicking through and maybe deleting all the work I've done so far in hopes that I can figure it out. I will open a new window and I will go to chat. Yeah. And figure it out, or have them figure it out, or just tell me like, oh yeah, let's go here, go here, go here, done.

Channing: So, to close us out on this topic, Rose and thorn of your personality default.

Ben: Rose and thorn.

Channing: Which, just so everybody knows, Rose and Thorn is a game that we always play to my family. It is, and I think it's probably pretty obvious, but just in case, let's over explain it and make sure a 6th grader can understand. A rose is the highlight, or the top thing, or the best benefit, or the, the most exciting, or, so rose is the, the good thing. The good, the pro. And then the thorn is the worst part, or a bad experience, or something that's not positive. It's pros and cons, but flowers.

Ben: So, I think, I mean, my con is that, and I think it's different for different people, but for you, you know, I think it's the, uh, the not moving as fast. Decision as you do.

Channing: I'm more curious what you feel your thorn is.

Ben: What I feel like my thorn is, my thorn, I think, is that I don't always communicate that I want stuff done and therefore I get frustrated when people don't take the things as serious as I think they're, or they don't follow the process in which. It's going to get the best outcome and then to me, it's like, you know, you just don't respect it. And so you didn't take the time to learn it. Um, and yeah, and just getting frustrated by not communicating. Because of the thoroughness, you know, if you start laundry, finish it. If you start dishes, finish it. And dishes don't just mean, you know, the dishes in the sink. It means wipe down the stove, wipe down the cabinets. Why do you know what I mean? Like, yeah, I mean, that's just, it's, it's one of those things. Again, going back to upbringing,

Channing: I don't think I've I mean, I've done the dishes, but I've never done the right.

Ben: And so to me, it's like, yeah, I mean, we've been married for three years and almost three years, and we have.

Channing: I don't even know that that's a thing, but yeah, I mean, just like do the dishes

Ben: It includes the kitchen, like maybe not the floors and, you know, wiping the refrigerator down. But to me, it's like,

Channing: I definitely don't like the dishes, right?

Ben: It's like, no, you've wiped down the stove, the counter.

Channing: Cause even laundry to me doesn't mean you hang it up.

Ben: Right.

Channing: It just means that it started getting clean.

Ben: Right. Yeah. I did the laundry. I'm like, you put it in the machine and the machine did the laundry. You just moved it from area A to area B.

Channing: The accomplishment.

Ben: Right. And so, yes, to me, it's like, and you know, same thing with pulling up weeds. You know, when you go and you would weed the flowerbed and you just leave the little piles wherever you were sitting.

Channing: I just figured they would die and get rid of them.

Ben: And that's, and yes, that's logically sure, I guess. But. That is infuriating for me, because now there's these little bitty stacks of weeds over here, and it's like why?

Channing: I thought some bird would come pick them up and use them in its nest.

Ben: They don't use grass in their nests.

Channing: Well, I, that was not a fact I was aware of.

Ben: It has to be like, dried out, and like, more like hay material, not wilty weeds.

Channing: I was just over here trying to save the environment.

Ben: We just use that as an excuse. To be, not picking stuff up.

Channing: Alright, Rose?

Ben: Rose? I mean, I think that typically if you tell me, I think that my personality is typically if you give me a task or you give me an assignment, it's probably going to be done very thorough and you may have two or three different options in whatever avenue you want to take, you know, so, you know, with a recipe, you can have a, I can give you this one that's super complicated and that's wonderful, or I can give you this one over here with comprehensive It's Steps and it's, it's good, but it's not as good, but it's going to take half the time, half the ingredients, half the skillset, you know? So I typically like to present options. How involved do you want to be? How difficult do you want to be? Not even difficult, but like how time consuming. It's like with dinner, like I can knock a dinner out in 20 minutes or I can do it in an hour and a half. They'll both be very good and they'll both do what they're supposed to do. But one is you can just tell, you know, this is more time and effort was put into this.

Channing: I don't feel like with mine you can tell, because if I cook dinner, I'm starting at like 2pm, and we're getting done by like 6:30 or 7, and it doesn't taste any different than like your 30 minute meal.

Ben: Yours is, while it's always good, the longer you cook, just says, the bigger the mess. Like, there's not probably gonna be a huge

Channing: And I'm definitely not doing the dishes.

Ben: Right. There's not, there's not probably gonna be a huge, like, flavor difference. necessarily, if you took two hours to cook dinner versus one hour. But there will be double the dishes, double the mess.

Channing: For me, when I cook dinner, I'm using it as like a form of therapy. So it's the four hour experience. You got your money's worth. Like, I'm making everything from scratch. I'm making tortillas from scratch, even though we have tortillas in the fridge. And then mine aren't good, and so I still use one.

Ben: I don't know what happened with these. Well, it the day before. Well, I figured it'd be fine if I did it an hour before. That's, that's not how things work. You can't just force that, that dough into rising. Yeah. But, yeah, I mean, I think that, that would be one of the, the benefits of mine is you're typically going to get a finished and maybe even a polished product if that's what you're needing. But I also get where. I can, I want way more information than maybe you are prepared to, to give. And so then, you know, it may be overwhelming. What about your Rose and Thorn?

Channing: Hmm. I'd say my Rose is, because I'm a starter, we get to experiment with a whole lot of different things to figure out what we want, what we like, and what we don't like. And we get to that answer pretty quickly, because I sprinted the entire time. Um, Thorn, I know for sure is, I hit more walls than what's really necessary, because I did absolutely no research. It just sounded, or it sounded fun, or I saw a need, so I made a thing, or I created a solution. You've never done that before, how are you going to deliver it? I don't know, I'll figure that out. And so I hit a lot of walls because of that, um, so I'd probably say that's my, that's my thing.

Ben: I will add on to that and say that I think one of the things for me, Thorn wise, is playing kind of off of that hitting walls is that it pains me to see sometimes because I obviously don't like seeing you in this way, but also it's like, I like, I don't know what a normal, you know, like family life would be like for us per se. Um, but typically the way that you work is you will obsess. And then you just go dormant, and that could be dormant for six hours, or it could be dormant for like two days or a day where I'm not going to do anything. So you'll go from start, you know, from dusk till dawn, and you won't stop and you'll just be held up trying to finish something or trying to get this done or working on it or whatever. And while I think, you know, like, we appreciate that, there are times when it's like, I wish that... You know, your personality type would allow you to say, Oh, it's this time. I'm going to go, you know, hang out or whatever, or I'm just going to call the day and maybe I'll start back up tonight, but like, I'm going to call the day and instead it's like, you will work incessantly, not all the time, but sometimes, especially when you find out either, you know, whether that's or whether that's something new. You may spend days just held up figuring this out or working on this and then you'll have your down day and it's like well our down days don't always fall on the same day and so sometimes it's disheartening whenever it's like I can't just hang out because I may have stuff going on or there's other things that need done And so that's a downfall of someone who has ADD and obsessive and like just wants to go until they hit a wall and then they just. But I would say, you know your rose is that you know, you are very ambitious And you are very i'm just going to attack this and we will know very quickly more often than not Is this feasible or is this not you know, and the fact that you will put in that amount of time um to get those things done, you know is Sometimes quite remarkable, but you know, it's, it's sometimes, you know, it's amazing to kind of just see because I don't get it. And I've also, I'm new to kind of this kind of office work.

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