Home for the Holidays: Crafting Memories and Traditions with Velvet Ventures

Join us in this heartwarming episode of Velvet Ventures as Ben and Channing dive into the essence of family traditions and holiday preparations. From their no-list gift-giving philosophy to setting up enchanting Christmas decor, this episode is a delightful journey through their family’s holiday rituals.

Learn about their unique approach to Christmas shopping, fostering a respectful and integrity-filled environment for their kids, and how they make each moment count. Discover the joy of creating traditions that resonate beyond material gifts, focusing on the beauty of family connections and the warmth of home during the holidays. Tune in for an episode that's all about making Christmas a time of joy, reflection, and memorable experiences. 🎁🎄✨

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Transcript

00:00
We have the tree upstairs, that is the family tree. And the kids have full control. So they do the lights, they put the ornaments wherever they want, there's whatever rhyme or reason they would like. There's no outside opinion from a grown up allowed. Yeah. Welcome to Velvet Ventures. Where we talk about life, marriage, and the pursuit of entrepreneurship. I'm Ben. And I'm Channing. Hey guys, I wanted to give a quick shout out to our awesome sponsor.

00:27
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00:55
Welcome to the Christmas episode of Velvet Ventures. It's the most wonderful time. I think today we're gonna kind of just talk about what our traditions, kind of what we think of Christmas and the things that we do. Yeah, and our Christmas hack. Yeah. Because I feel like a lot of people think we're really weird for it, but then they get really jealous of us when Christmas time is here because of the way that we do things. So why don't you go ahead and lead off with.

01:26
what it is. Well, we shop all year long. And so when we're out just shopping or window shopping or just exploring whether we're here or we're in another city or state, if we find something that we think somebody would like, then we'll pick it up. So we were already kind of noticing those things anyways. You know, we'd be out and like, Oh, your mom would love this.

01:55
But then we used to just like kind of put it back on the shelf and now we put it in the cart. Yeah. Well, I know that my mom, she did that growing up, especially like birthdays and stuff. Like she would find things, whether it's on clearance or just like good deals or whatever, like Lego sets or stuff. I remember her picking them up, taking them home and putting them in the closet. And then when it was someone's birthday, she's like, boy or girl, you know, and then it was like, okay, give them a Lego set or give them.

02:25
you know, a doll or something. And so I think that one of the ways that we're able to do that is by not going off of people's lists. Yeah, I don't care what people want for Christmas. I'll be real honest. If you send me a list, I can almost guarantee you I'm not getting you anything on that list. But our gifts typically are the ones that like make people cry or like they have a lot more emotional attachment to it. And it's because

02:53
We saw this, we thought of you, we wanted you to have it. And it's not something you could have bought yourself from Amazon. Right. Yeah, because typically what we're doing is, when we see something that reminds us of like a sibling, parent, friend, whatever, it's kind of, hey, do you think so and so would like this? And we're able to then recall like, oh, no, they don't.

03:19
care for that anymore, they're really more into this, or they like purple or whatever it may be. Yeah. And so. So it's not like we're just buying random things and then gifting them. There is a lot of thought or, you know. It's literally one of those things like, I was thinking of you. Right. So I got X. And I think that's why it means more, is this isn't what you told me to get you. Right. I looked at this and thought you would enjoy it. Yeah. I know you well enough.

03:47
that I thought you would enjoy this. Mine is fun because, you know, most of the people don't shop or go where we do or shop. And so the likelihood of them actually getting it is very slim. Yeah. So. Now the kids are a little bit different. We do get some like shelf bought stuff for them, but even the kids, like we like to shop, we like to thrift their clothing. Yeah.

04:17
It's like a 50-50 on them, I feel like, right now. Because they're at that age, I think that once they start getting older, it will make a little bit of a shift. Because for me, it's gonna be important to do, because my parents didn't do this for gifts so much, but they started giving us things that my grandparents saved for us, or just old traditions, like mom just gave me Kirby's cookie cutter container, and she did that for all the granddaughters, where she would find random.

04:46
cookie cutters like metal ones or antique ones and some of them are plastic but they're just a variety of different shapes and sizes for different holidays or just standard deals. But there's like 25 cookie cutters and she puts them in a cool glass container and like here, this is my grand, this is my grandkids. So, because doing cookies was always a big deal for us. And so- Yeah, we just did that this last weekend. About 150 or so, probably more.

05:16
Well, we didn't decorate all of them because we just basically ran out of time. Yeah, after four hours. Yeah, I baked probably about 150 and then mom bought probably about another 80. And then Heather brought a tray with a couple dozen or whatever on it. I told people, I baked plenty so you don't have to bring them, but I know my mom is pretty adamant about that. She brought hers and stuff. But yeah, it was...

05:47
hours of kids and then the adults, let the kids do it until they get bored with it and then they go run and play and then the adults take over. Yeah. And I mean, there was at least 15 people over and there was always six people decorating for four hours straight and we still did not get them all decorated. And just sugar cookies. Yeah, just sugar cookies. Like it wasn't like anything else, but yeah, just sugar cookies. But that was always a tradition. That's your family's gingerbread house. Yeah.

06:17
That was always a thing because my grandpa loved sugar cookies. So it kind of started out that way. And then we just, we took a break for a little while because, you know, everybody went and grew up and had their families and whatnot. And so mom would still do it. I think some of the grandkids that live there on the farm, they would help, but it wasn't like a to do. And so it was, it was last year or two years ago that we started three years ago. The three, the one moved into the other house. Yeah. So we started, this is our third year.

06:45
of doing it where we just hosted our house because it's just something that's real important to us to create traditions that the kids can hopefully have fond memories of and will want to continue. But yeah, so I mean our shopping, we start all year long. So when we put up Christmas, which were those people that put it up the day after Thanksgiving or the weekend after, depending on

07:14
I'm allowed to do it the day after Halloween. Yeah. So. So it goes up. Oh yeah, not Thanksgiving. Sorry, Halloween. Yeah, I'm like, Thanksgiving's way too late. Yeah, sorry. I meant Halloween. Halloween. It's typically like within a five day grace period of Halloween. Yeah. But it has gone up on Halloween before. But. I like a quarter of Christmas, not a month. Well, and so like, I mean, when we put the tree up, then typically you're wrapping a couple days later because we've already gotten probably.

07:44
that point, we try to like to be at least 60 to 75% done. We're just kind of filling in the gaps. Right, then we do have the inventory. Those things we might get off of Amazon or off the shelf. Yeah. But we've already gotten most of our like unique finds for people already done. Yeah, because we try to keep a list on the, we just use the Notes app on iPhones and stuff to be able to share it. And then we don't have a list for people, but we just, as we find things,

08:14
we'll put Scott, Dash, found, we have this and this and this. And we just kind of keep track so that way, when we're still shopping, we can see something like, oh, I think so-and-so would really like that. We can look and say, like, hey, we've already gotten that person three things. Yeah. So like, do we? Well, like there's some things that we always get for certain people. So like, I always get my siblings a mug, a coffee mug. And so we'll track who has gotten, who have we already bought a mug for and who are we still looking for?

08:45
and then your family exchanges names for the little kids. And so we'll kind of keep an eye open for what those three that we, or the two that we buy for, what they might like. So, but I mean, we're so done that this year when we needed to help somebody else Christmas shop, it wasn't like a big, it was a blessing for us to be able to do.

09:15
because it wasn't adding to our stress of our Christmas because our Christmas was already done. And it's something that I would love now having to, getting to be able to do that. It's something that like, if we could foster a family for Christmas every year, like I would love doing that. Yeah. Well, I think it goes to some of that. But it was more stressful because we knocked it out in two days. Right. Well, and so for me, that kind of...

09:44
is one of those deals where when you're prepared, you put yourself in positions to hopefully be a blessing to somebody because like if we had been trying to do our stuff like that just probably would have been something we would take on. Yeah. But I thought that's just kind of life lesson in general when it comes to when you know something's coming, which there's always something that's gonna happen. There could always be a tragedy. There could always be an unexpected expense. So being prepared helps.

10:14
helps you to be able to be a blessing or for that thing not to be so detrimental because it's very easy to spiral when you start getting overwhelmed. By being prepared and having everything lined up, we were able to not even think or have a discussion about it. It's just jump on it. Yeah. Well, and we always communicate what our expectations are of each other for gifts. Last year, we had a $200 spending limit.

10:43
And you could get whatever you want. It could be one item or several, but no more than 200. Or you had to get approval. So I think I asked you like, hey, can I spend an extra 50? Cause I'm missing like $50 that I really want to get this thing. And you were like, yeah, that's fine. This year we decided no gifts, but then the kids were asking like, Hey, what are we getting dad? And so, you know, we kind of sat back at the drawing board and said, okay.

11:09
It's not really fair to the kids to not be able to get us something if they want to. And so we set a $50 spending limit this year. And so one of the things you've already gotten, because we were out, there was no way I was going to be able to hide it from you because it was in an estate sale and it was like this big, massive copper burner that I had to get off the shelf so nobody else bought. So I was like, I know you're just going to see me carrying this thing around. But the other thing.

11:37
I told the kids about when we were out shopping and they didn't help me buy it, but they know what you're getting. And so they're really excited that now they've got like this secret that they don't, they can't tell you, you know, and so it's really fun for them. And if the kids were, you know, if they were to come ask me, is that all he's getting, my next recommendation would be like, why don't you make him something? Like we've got tons of stuff here to paint or craft or crochet or.

12:06
You know, do whatever you want to do. Or I'm sure he would love for you to just write a letter, you know, just something that's thoughtful that you are making yourself. Yeah. And allow them to do that for you. Yeah. Yeah, I think I think for us, like this year, especially, it just kind of is one of those where. You know, I think we discussed and had a conversation with like the things that you would get me, I'm just going to tell you.

12:34
or you're gonna get me things and I'm one of those people that I don't love the random gift giving as much as you do, you know? And so I'm much more of like, here's the 20 things that I would like, and I would like one of these things because I'm just one of those ones that if I wanted it, I would just buy it. But there's certain things that I want. You're a list person. Yeah, and there's certain things that I just, I have a hard time buying myself and so that's where like Christmas or birthdays come in. Like if you wanna get something.

13:03
I do have a list of things that I would like, but that I'm probably not going to buy myself. So here's if you want it to, I'm not opposed to getting random guests at by any means, but, and so to me, and I think, you know, with our discussions was that it's like, we have everything really that we need right now. And

13:26
I think we would rather... There's not a lot that I want from Amazon or a box store. It's like, I would rather, hey, why don't we just save the, you know, thousand dollars we would probably, you know, have spent on each other or on random stuff or however much that would have been. And like, let's just know that we're going to buy stuff throughout the year for each other or for ourselves when we're out shopping and we find things that we genuinely want or could use or love. Yeah.

13:56
When I'm just in the season of being content, and that has not always been the case, I was definitely a consumer, and I'm still a consumer, but I'm more like a treasure hunter now than a consumer. I've not been on the Amazon app. The last time I was on it is because this family we were helping out had sent an item they wanted, and it was an Amazon link, and I looked at it and said,

14:26
I think we could thrift something like this. And so we made makeup bags that were the theme of these characters instead of buying the $45 character makeup set. And I mean, that's the last time that I was on Amazon. And we did buy stuff from Amazon for the kids. So that was back in October. It's not that that is a bad thing.

14:49
to be on Amazon or to order the stuff, but. No, but I'm just saying like the drastic change in myself. Like I used to get on Amazon every single day, literally every single day to see what deals I couldn't pass up on because I had to spend money. I had it, it had to leave my hands. Like it had to go away. And now I'm just in the season where I still really like to spend, but I really, I enjoy tithing.

15:16
and giving and looking for opportunities to, how can we get rid of it but bless somebody else instead of just getting more stuff ourselves? Yeah, well, and I think also the other thing is our mind shift has changed from, instead of what is on the cyber deal of the day from Amazon, it's, we go to an estate sale and you find a fur, to wear, or we find things that could be heirloom pieces or things that actually have meaning.

15:45
or they may have had meaning to somebody else and we're gonna give it life instead of it getting thrown away or donated and who knows where it ends up. And so that mind shift, I think, because it's the same thing with like, some people look at, oh, you thrifted makeup bags and stuff. And it's like, well, the thing about it is, is what we were able to do with this much.

16:13
If we had just gone to the store and bought it because it was convenient like two things each they would have gotten it Well, even the kids didn't anybody like instead of everybody getting like one Thing that was on their list like is it exactly something that was on their list? No, was it something that we thought of like yeah, okay. Well cool you're getting you know three or four books and a mug and then this and that and You're getting a lot more bang for your buck essentially because we're not

16:40
this has to be brand new and it has to be on Amazon or at this retail store. Right. It's like now we use retail stores for food. Right. And that's really about it, unless we're in a pinch for something very specific and we don't have time or we haven't been able to find it. Yeah. You know? And so, but I mean, even like, you know, holiday cards or anything else, like there's so much out there that is going to either help, whether that's a goodwill or...

17:09
a hope center or somebody else, like your money, spending your money there, not only are you getting a great deal and you're getting cool fines and things that nobody else has, but you're helping a good organization. And so instead of just your money going to a corporate office, which I'm not opposed to because I like spend, I'm an equal opportunity spender. But I would definitely rather it go towards a local mission or a local charity or something.

17:39
than just to a corporation. Yeah. Well, I mean, the other things that we do for Christmas, especially as business owners, because you wouldn't think that people would request your time on the holiday, but they will. And so like I've already pre-booked out the days that I expect, I don't want any meetings because this is family time or this is the day before family time. So I just want to relax and like fully charge.

18:06
so that I'm walking in and I can be the most present and the most enjoyable for our family holidays. And so like we've got Christmas this Friday with your family. So like Thursday for me is already booked out. Nobody can book my time then or Friday. The weekends are always booked off for me. But then Monday, just in case somebody gets a crazy wild hair and says, book on the 25th and maybe they don't celebrate Christmas or they just completely forgot that it was Christmas because they don't have family, you know, whatever the case may be.

18:35
I'm like, nope, the Thursday, Friday, Monday, Tuesday, those are all booked out for me because I know I wanna be refreshed and ready for our holidays on Friday, and I want to be refreshed and ready for my clients on Wednesday. And so those days are already booked out so that I don't have to worry about it. I'm not sitting there racking my brain. I don't have a deadline the 26th of December. It's already done and I can be

19:04
fully focused on making memories that are going to be enjoyable for our kids. Yeah. Yeah. Well. Because we're already competing with the in-laws. Like, that's what we're doing. We want our holidays to be so much fun, and that doesn't mean money. I feel like so much now when you talk about the holidays, everybody just sees like dollar signs. Like for us, last night when we got done at the Nutcracker.

19:31
I said, you know, with all of us dressed up like this, I want to go to McDonald's. Like let's go in our suit, our fanciest clothes and let's go to a fast food place. And the kids loved it. We had a blast. And now we're talking about just making that, you know, like a quarterly tradition that we do as a family. Yeah. And we also were able to get both the kids to agree to not do drugs. Right. Based on a homeless man that wandered in.

19:58
Exactly and started screaming. Yeah, cuz they were unsure of it. Yeah, which is a joke just so you know, right We said don't do drugs kids. Yeah, and curb goes I can't promise I won't the eight-year-old If I can promise that and so now hardcore promise their pinky sworn in so it's just kind of a joke But then last night, you know, and again, it's one of those things like it's a sad truth But like especially around the holidays, you know, it's kind of those things. I'm like this person doesn't have anybody

20:26
that we know of and I mean, there's just, you don't know what's going on in people's life, but it's definitely one of those things that's like, look how blessed, you know, we are and the things we're able to do and you don't want that. You know, we don't want that for you. We don't want that for this guy either. And it's not funny that, you know, he's in this situation or that the employees are put in a situation where they're having to call, you know, law enforcement and whoever else because as we were pulling out, here comes a fire truck, you know, with firefighters from down the street.

20:56
coming in because you know this guy was just in the back like just screaming and so which that's not the christmas memory that we were really shooting for sure but i mean they all found they did find they found the instance of the yelling because we didn't know what it was in the beginning um they found it humorous later on when it was like we realized what on earth like what would we even thought why someone was even yelling

21:22
And so anyway, it's just it's a whole full circle of, you know, getting them to come out with us, creating memories and, you know, creating silly memories, creating impactful memories, but also fun memories. And then, you know, going and looking at lights and driving looking at Christmas lights and decorations and not worrying like, okay, well...

21:52
I think most people would probably consider us not strict necessarily, but we have very high expectations of our kids. But last night was the reason why we do, because we can go out and 100% enjoy each other's company without having to constantly correct or threaten or yank or pull or spank. We don't have to do any of that.

22:22
Our kids went and sat through a two hour ballet. And there was some whispering, but like, that's totally fine. Totally understandable. Like we didn't get onto them or anything. There was only a few times. Kirk realized like 20 minutes into the ballet and leans over to us and said, I would just like you to know that dad said I could eat a sugar cookie earlier. And I just realized I never ate it. And I said, that's great. I'm watching the ballet.

22:51
Other than that, like, and again, that was just innocent and it was really funny. Right. But they were able to sit through a two hour show, no complaints, no, you know, how much longer. No slumping to the floor. Right. No fit throwing. And it's just, it's one of those things where, again, that is the preparing aspect. I don't think we realize just how many areas of our life, for me, it's 100% like, I like, you know, it falls into

23:19
you know, keeping a clean house or doing these things like, cause you never know who's going to come by. And it's not that people can't know that we live in the home. Like it's not that, but I always want us and our family to put our best foot forward. So whether that's, Hey, you can't wear pajamas in public, you know, I don't, I mean, if we're going on a road trip, that's that's different. But when we're going to church or when we're going to go do this or whatever, like we don't have to get dressed up, but, but put,

23:48
pants on, put an actual non-stained shirt on or something. And so I think it's just always about putting your best foot forward and that just comes from preparedness and just us being able to take the kids out into nice places or even to more adult places where it's literally just music and people dancing. There's no singing, there's no real comedy that they get really and stuff. We have snacks. Yeah, there's no snacks, there's no drinks.

24:17
and it's dark and you're dressed up and we had a walk, you know, and stuff. And so it's just, there's several things that kind of happened where it's like, yeah, you realize that's why you put in the effort or that's why you put in the work or just why it's worth it. Yeah. One, cause once they are married or seriously dating or whatever, like we've invited, you know, our sons.

24:46
girlfriend to come over several times to just come hang out because I want to instill like we want to be part of this part of your life and it's important that this person fits in with this part of your life because It's not fun when you have somebody that doesn't fit in or doesn't want to be there And so we want to create memories that welcome your friends welcome your girlfriends or boyfriends or whatever and let's make sure that We all like this person, right?

25:16
Like, wouldn't it be so much more fun if we all liked this person? Right. I think there's a lot to be said and I feel like Craig Grichel and our preacher kind of gave permission to do that, to kind of, you know, hey, asking your siblings, your family, your mom, dad and stuff, like, what do you think about this person? Because like they do that because they're a tribe and they take their family very serious. And

25:45
I don't think that that's something a lot of people do is they find someone who they can click with and then it's like, well, we're just going to create our own life. And while you are creating your own life, you know, if you still want to be a part of this tribe and stuff, like, you know, you kind of, they don't have to all get along and agree a hundred percent, but it just makes life so much more enjoyable. If there's a lot of, uh,

26:13
cohabitation and can get along and can be around each other for extended periods of time without just absolutely wanting to... I could easily go another three months without seeing you. And so I feel like we both have had that in past relationships or whatever to where it's like, yeah, I should have listened to my parents or I should have at least...

26:40
Considered x y and z and had this discussion with this person and I think that's what we want for the kids is We want them around You know I want their spouse to feel like family right? Like I don't consider your family like a byproduct of this marriage like your family is my family and I would go You know I would do pretty much anything for any one of them right regardless of what?

27:10
inconvenience that might bring me and not because there's any expectation on the other side of it, but because I genuinely love your family. Your family is my family. That's my family. That's my daughter. It's mine. And I don't treat them any different than I would somebody that's blood related to me. And I want that for the kids. I want to look at their spouses and that's my

27:40
you know, for the in-laws, not just this is my son's wife. Like, no, that's my daughter. Right. And these are my grandkids. And this is our family. And this is what we do. Yeah. Well, I think for me. And I want them to want it, because, you know, you've got those families that, like, expect it. You're obligated. I don't want it to be an obligation. I want it to be a blessing, because we've we've worked hard enough creating this environment that they want to be a part of. Right.

28:10
Well, and I look at it too as I want them to want it in the downtime because to me, like, if anybody, I mean, if anyone of my friends or, you know, acquaintances called me, even if it's someone who I haven't seen in years and they said, Hey, I got a flat tire, like I've called everybody, like I could, I really need some help. I would go help them because it's a lot easier to help or to spend time during moments of need or where you're feeling like you're helping or, you know, or getting help.

28:40
to be able to sit in silence with people, like to me, that's what I want. I want our future in-laws or whatnot to be able to want to just spend time. Because if it's just the holidays or it's just tragedy or it's just celebrations, like those are all fairly easy things to kind of do. Yeah. But it's like, Hey, it's a Tuesday.

29:08
and we're having leftover spaghetti, y'all want to come over? Having fancy fast food Fridays, which we termed. F, F, F, F, F, F, F. And so I think to me, that's what I want to create because we are already as a family pretty good about being able just to be without, we can have a screen free night where

29:35
you and Kirby may paint or we can read or we can do stuff. We don't all have to do it together at the same time per se, but different people are doing different activities that are not screen related. And maybe we're all in the same room or maybe we're not, but that's kind of that. How can we just be together and it not be entertaining per se? And so I think we're trying to be intentional with how we're raising

30:05
the kids, but also how we are repositioning ourselves for that in our own lives.

30:15
Because yeah, I mean, I don't think either one of us just want the kids around during the holidays or graduations or birthdays, but I want them just to stop by and whatever. Like it's going to be an inconvenience because I mean, it's, you know, but I would rather than I'd rather those be the inconveniences than us only get together at funerals and birthdays and holidays. Yeah. Well, and the other reason why our shopping early and that Christmas hack works.

30:44
is because of the boundaries that we've put in place. Like our Christmas hiding spot is around the corner. In the corner, we're a Hutch's in our bedroom. Like it's not necessarily covered with anything. It's not, we don't have to hide the presents. They're just in our room because our room is a no-go zone. Like you don't come in here, you don't cross this boundary. Like you're not allowed in this, this is our space.

31:12
And so we don't have to hide presents. We also don't have to worry about the kids opening them because we focus on integrity and respect and just overall being good human beings. But when they were younger, 100%, I had to threaten and say, for every present that you shake, I'm taking one away. For every present that you open, I'm taking one away. Or every, like, and so there's, we have presents out all year round. Or not year round, but under the tree from Halloween,

31:42
through when we're actually opening them on Christmas. We never have an issue with shaking or guessing or opening or sneaking a look or anything like that. And even the nieces and nephews, when they come over, they know, even the ones that, they'll open presents at their house, they don't open presents at our house because they know like, this is a boundary. I don't care if that present has your name on it. It's not time, so don't touch it. So. Yeah, well and.

32:12
You know, they, um...

32:16
It's been crazy to see as the kids get older and then as just other people are around, whether that's friends or family members and just different stuff, like how we are all, like for my family and stuff, like we were all raised by the same two parents in the same house, but obviously because of age gaps and stuff, like everybody was raised with a different set of parents because there's a decent gap between each one of those kids, but you know, it's just, it's always interesting seeing.

32:45
how everybody is different and just people are different. So obviously, you know, our kids are not going to be the same as my sister's kids or my brother's kids or your brother's and or sister's kids. If they have children someday, like it's just, it's going to be, they're all different. But, you know, it's, um, it definitely makes me. Feel proud and blessed that, you know, we don't.

33:14
really have to worry about.

33:18
you know, the house or stuff or, you know, them crossing the boundaries or I mean, like we could leave they know where the presents are. And they're uncovered and they're, you know, whatever. And like, we could leave the house for two hours and leave them home alone. We wouldn't. But we could and like, we would not even think twice about, I hope they don't go look. Yeah. You know, because I mean, we've been out in the garage working on stuff for hours at a time and the kids are inside. Yeah.

33:47
very easily done whatever they wanted to. But we don't have to worry about them doing that. They just don't. Yeah. Well, I think it's just made the holidays more enjoyable because one, we can have all the stuff out. We can have the tree decorated. We can have the stuff under it. And we don't have... We only have plastic ornaments for other people's kids that come over. Otherwise we'd have glass. Well, I don't even think that right now because I think we like to change it up so much. Yeah.

34:16
because every year we change color, so it's like, you know, we just get rid of them. We have our ones that our family passes down or that, you know, my parents get us each year they get us an ornament. And so we have the tree upstairs. That is the family tree. And the kids have full control. So they do the lights, they put the ornaments wherever they want. There's whatever rhyme or reason they would like. There's no outside opinion from a grownup allowed. Yeah. But downstairs is the pretty tree. And

34:45
They help with that one, but it's definitely curated by you. And so. But even this year, they've been doing it so many years now that like, I really don't have to like tell them, Hey, there's too many black ornaments here. Like let's space them out better. Cause they'll even say like, purple say, Hey Zay, I need this one up here. And she'll hand him and he'll, and he's like, all right, Hey, this color would look good down here. And so, I mean, at this point they've just done it so many.

35:14
Yeah. That... Well, I think that that stands to the test of our consistency in general. You know, because it's not like one year we do something willy-nilly and then the next year it's, you know, something completely different. It's, you know, we're pretty consistent in this tree, particularly how we want it done. It could be different colors and a little bit different styling, but the general aesthetic and design philosophy behind it is...

35:44
generally the same. Well, that's why I'm just kind of shocked that the kids have not brought up their ornaments this year because like your parents get them ornaments, but we also always go shop for an ornament for everybody. They've not brought it up at all. They brought up the nutcracker. Like, hey, we have not picked out our nutcracker this year. And we were like, well, that's because we're gonna get one at the ballet. So that's why we're waiting. But I'm shocked that it has not been brought to our attention that we have not shopped for an ornament yet. Yeah.

36:12
So we've got a week left to do that. That's the one Christmas thing that we have procrastinated on this year. Yeah. Well, I mean, with the kids going back and forth, but also I think too, just with what's been going on here recently, like that thing is something we typically would have done the month of December, but the month has kind of gotten away from us. And so, yeah, we have a few days left where we can probably still go get that done, but.

36:41
Um... What else?

36:47
I mean, I think those are at least our key takeaways for Christmas, our key thoughts. And I mean, I would start if you don't like the holiday or it stresses you out every single time, find the thing that brings you the most amount of stress and figure out a way to change it. Even if the change is super, super simple for now.

37:15
And then just like you build a habit, compound on it year over year over year. Because we definitely didn't get to this point overnight. Right. We have been practicing and perfecting our Christmas together for seven years. And so now we're at a point and there's still changes that we need to make to make it even better. Or like, hey, that was a lot of fun. That needs to be here every year. Hey, the kids aren't really into this anymore. So let's change it up.

37:43
And you know, so there's always going to be adjustments that we make, but I love Christmas. And whatever we need to do to reduce the stress or the... I don't understand the people that don't enjoy Christmas. I don't get it because we've made just the changes or the sacrifices that we need to to make sure that we enjoy it. Thankfully, that for us isn't cutting family out.

38:12
You know, I know that's a really, really tough thing for people that's serious and should be done in a lot of cases. We don't have to do that. Yeah. But, you know, at first, the first year when I decided I was doing a no list thing, like you were super against it. You were like, this is no, they know what they want. They gave you a list. You need to stick to the list. That's because you're a list person. And I was like, I don't care. I'm not sticking to their list.

38:40
I'm gonna get them what I wanna get them. And that's that. Because even this thing that they think that they like, they might use three times and it's still gonna go in the trash. So what's the difference between me getting them something I think they would like and three months later it going in the trash, if that's where it's gonna end up. And the gifts that we've given over the last few years, people have framed some of them, they've built shelves literally for the gifts to sit on in their homes.

39:09
It's a story they tell their friends. And so we'll never go back to being list people. I think doing an evaluation, my advice, however valuable that may be this person, but like hearing that it's okay to not go to your family function. If that is where your stress, if that is where your...

39:38
It's just a negative experience. Then is, I know it's easier for me to say, but don't go, you know, and I'm a, or make a change. Right. I'm a proponent for saying why if you can, I mean, if it's not like an abusive thing, then, Hey, I'm not coming because. You know, I can't, I can't do it because that's just a horrible thing. I think for people to have to do, and I feel bad for people who are in that position where.

40:05
you know, they don't feel like they have an option or they can't say no or whatever. Because I think for us, like we are very rigid in our, like cookie decorating has to happen. It doesn't have to happen on this specific day. It doesn't have to happen that, you know, even the same people don't always have to be there. Yeah. It's just, this is what we're going to do. But I think we are also at the same time, we are very flexible in bringing in new things or, Hey, I didn't care for that last year. Like it didn't, I'm not thinking about it still.

40:34
And if I'm not thinking about it, or if I'm not looking forward to it, then like, maybe that's something we don't have to do again next year. Like let's find something else to do. You know, but I think like going and driving around, looking at the lights, going to the nutcracker, um, decorating sugar cookies, and then having the kids on Christmas morning, like those are just things that are pretty rigid about. Like what do we have to do to make sure that these things happen? But outside of that, it's like, you know, what?

41:05
We're kind of down and open for suggestions. And I hope that more people can find that in their life. And just finding that hopefully people can be accommodating. Because my parents have always been very accommodating. So we're doing Christmas days earlier because- Well, your family's never done it on the day of the holiday. So Thanksgiving is not on Thanksgiving. Christmas is not on Christmas. Easter is on Easter. Fourth of July is on Fourth of July.

41:35
But outside of that, no other holiday is celebrated on the day of the holiday. And so... And that's just because too, you know, my oldest brother, who's almost 50, I mean, he's been married since he was, you know, 18, 19. So for the majority of all my family's adult lives, there's been in-laws. And so my parents were just, will be accommodating. And I don't know what those discussions were in the beginning, but then it's just, that's just how I've always known it. And so...

42:05
You know, I don't remember spending Christmas morning ever. I know we have, but with my older siblings, because by the time I got old enough where I remember, like they were already married and they were doing stuff with their family or the in-law side, maybe on Christmas morning. So we always did ours on Christmas Eve. We've just in the last. Maybe 10 years deviated from Christmas Eve because it was always Christmas Eve, but in the last, you know, yeah, 10, 12 years we've deviated.

42:35
into doing it around Christmas. And it's typically before, a couple days before. But yeah, I really hope that people can find the courage to put themselves in a position or to start working towards that position of being able to make this a joyous time and not just a pure stressor. And I understand people who have either lost loved ones or it's just, there's a lot of trauma.

43:04
or whatever around Christmas. I get it. I get how that could be. Well, and I think if you're ready to start taking over some of the Christmas traditions because you're becoming the adult and you feel like it's your time to now take the holiday and kind of run with it and you still want your family to be included, then just explain why. Because last year we drove to my parents' house to open presents on Christmas morning.

43:33
and everybody else kind of rolled around at 930. So this year I said, hey, you know, we're gonna open presents here. We would love for you all to come. You're welcome to come whenever, but when the kids get up about eight, we'll do stockings and breakfast, and then we're gonna let the kids start opening presents. We're not gonna make them wait on anybody or whatever. So you can come whenever, but we're gonna let the kids start. I don't want them to have to just sit there and wait and look at wrapped presents under the tray while you...

44:03
roll in at 930. And they're all like, yeah, no, no problem. Because we're also the one that puts up the big tree and puts up, you know, more Christmas decoration. I'm like, I don't want to just come to your house and open presents. It looks like it does every other day. I want it to feel like Christmas. And because that's how it wasn't my Mimi and Puppos. And so, you know, I just said, this is what we're doing. We'd love to have you all. You're welcome any time. Here's about the time we're starting. But it's

44:32
pretty much up to the kids. This is their day. We're going to let them kind of set the schedule. And so everybody's going to get here around nine to 10. And it'll just be more of a relaxed kind of vibe. But and the kids might be done first because they open all of our presents before everybody even gets here. But I also I didn't like last year that we opened half of their presents at our house and then went to my parents. And so they got to open these presents and then they had to leave them.

45:00
And then we went to somebody else's house. And I'm like, that just doesn't seem fair. Like they had stuff they wanted to play with. They were really excited. It's like, hi, hello, meet this new puppy. Okay, now don't see it for a week because they're going back to the other respective houses. And so we made a change. And if it wasn't gonna be accepted, like that would have sucked. But it was the change that we were gonna make regardless because it's what the kids needed to have the best Christmas possible. Well, and especially too since like,

45:29
with like your family right now, we're the only ones with littles. And so, you know, your brother lives at a state, so there you're flying in, so they don't, it's not like they have a house that we would go to. Your sister and her boyfriend, they don't have children and they're not, I mean, I know that they decorate and stuff, but like they're not interested in hosting. And then your parents, you know, I get it. They're just, they don't deck it all out because it's just kind of them. Exhausting. Yeah.

45:57
They've done it for so long, I think they're just kind of done with it for now. And maybe that'll change, but I think they're just kind of over it. And, um, and so it's like, okay, well, this is up to us and giving our kids the best experience, because to us, I think that we're both like just very enchanted. You know, like I'm not a Disney person, like a Disney world and like, Oh, this is so enchanting, but I am definitely a holiday person when, because I think, you know, everybody's nicer and everybody's

46:27
You know, you get to change things up a little bit. Um, everything just looks a little prettier and it's my birthday. And it's colder typically. So I like that. But, you know, I think that, you know, for us, I mean, I hope that someday, not only do we have the space for it, but you know, we've built such a.

46:54
We've built such a network or a, you know, whatever with the companies. Like, I don't know if the kids would work for us or with us someday or own their own stuff. Like I would love it. I just remember my grandparents, they would always come in from Texas for like two weeks. Granted, they were retired and like my mom was a stay at home mom. And so my dad still went to work. He would take a few days off while they were there to visit. But like, I just remember that was the best time because my grandparents came into town and stayed with us. And then.

47:22
It wasn't like they were in a hotel or they did anything. They just stayed with us and they were just present. And you know, my grandma was getting up and making breakfast with my mom each morning and all this other stuff. So it was just great. And like, I want to have the space and hopefully our children have the desire, but also the means, you know, I mean, hope that I hope that they're here, but if they weren't like they could come in for a week or two and like they can bring their in-laws and their extended family. It would be awesome. I know that that's.

47:53
I say this, I think that the first time or two I'll have different feelings about it, but I like the idea of them being able to come and spend time and us all be together, you know, and because I don't want to compete for split days or for stuff like if we do, we do. Yeah. But if I can start planning this now while they're young, then maybe we don't have to do that.

48:23
And so I think that that's kind of our goal is to create this, you know, these generational habits and stuff. Cause I think that we're just so much more in tune to heirloom passing things down. Legacy of wealth, legacy of memories, legacy of tradition, legacies hanging out with each other. Like I want the great, great grandkids and the great grandkids and I want it. Right. To be a legacy. Well, I think we're so.

48:53
because we've had people in our lives that are no longer with us that were the memory holders because today I think we have such you know well it's on my memories on Facebook or just people just don't in my experience there's a lot of people I've come in contact with it they just don't have that kind of thought process when it comes to preserving memories or preserving traditions and so I think we are very aware because even even down to furniture like I want furniture to mean something

49:20
Not every piece, but I want there to be things that we pass on to the kids or that they want or that is just, which I think is why we like estate sales, because it may not have been our grandparents, but this was somebody's grandparents, the stories that this buffet may have seen and the dinners that this has hosted. We will honor this piece for you since you can't hold on to this. Right. And so I want the kids to have that also. Someday they're like, hey,

49:48
you know, we're moving into our house. Like I would really love it. Like if you ever want to redo something or I want that hutch because I want to put my China in it and that, that, that. So like starting those pieces, whether that's like, you know, my mom did with the cookie cutters, you know, I want to have my cookware or my knives or my, you know, these things, this is like, Hey, I may not be dead. Like, you don't have to wait until I'm dead for me to gift this to you for you to use, but like, this isn't something that is just another thing that you use. And then

50:16
Oh, if it breaks, you know, you just get rid of it. You take care of it. And so I think that that is definitely something that is super important to both of us. And so creating not just memories, but, um, but traditions and stuff that they will then want to continue on because well, it just wouldn't be Christmas if we didn't do X. Right. And so I think that all those things are super important. And.

50:43
I think it also just kind of gives you something to look forward to every year. Yep. Well, Merry Christmas, everyone. And a happy new year. We will be skipping a week, so we'll see you in 2024. Yep. Here's the next year and all the things is going to hold. And if you haven't listened to our goal setting before you make those New Year's resolutions, why don't you check out why we don't really like goals?

51:13
Yeah, and you can find some of these. You should check out our backdrop if you're listening to us. You should hop over to YouTube or one of the social media deals and check out our little small setup. And I think what we may do before either maybe sometime this week or something, but I think we should do a tour on the social media deal of the house and our decorations because I think it would also be fun just to document.

51:39
these things so that way next year we can do it. Next year we can kind of see how things evolve. But maybe again, for me, I know that I get a lot of inspiration from seeing other people's videos and like the aesthetic and the music and you know, I think that's another very important key that people leave out of because I mean it's a whole recipe that goes into making this holiday for us what it has become because it started off very...

52:09
you know, not that there's anything wrong with it, but like hobby lobby, you know, whatever. And then it's kind of progressed into more refined and we found what our style is and we found the vibe that we're going for. And so to me, it's just like, it's very hallmarky, like just old world classic. Uh, yeah, very Hooga and way of life. And so I think that.

52:36
being able to showcase some of the, whether it's the records or the playlists that we do, but then also kind of just showing people what, how we kind of did some of the outside stuff, but then the inside and kind of some of the vibe that, that we created. Yeah. So you should head on over and check that out on I think pretty much all the platforms, so, but bye.

53:02
Thanks for tuning in to the velvet ventures. If you'd like more information about who we are, what we do, or you wanna follow us or any of our companies, then feel free to check out the link below. Other than that, thank you so much to our sponsors for making this episode possible. See you next time.