Women on Fire Episode 40: “How to Go From Pressured & Overwhelmed to Connected & Confident As a New Working Mama” with Chelsea Wilson

In this "Women on Fire" debut episode of the Sweet Slumber podcast, host Meredith Brough talks with new mom and confidence coach Chelsea Wilson. 

Chelsea discusses her transition from helping women with body confidence to aiding moms in finding their identity and work-life balance postpartum. She shares her personal struggles with motherhood, including a difficult delivery and anxiety, and offers advice on starting with essential self-care steps. Chelsea shares the wins in her current life, including more freedom, being on the same page with her husband, and the ability to be fully present with her family.

Chelsea introduces her program, "Confidently a Business Mama," and explains how to implement a flexible schedule and establish a balance as a new mom.

The conversation also covers the importance of seeking help for postpartum depression and the transformative power of personal growth. 

Topics:

• Chelsea's personal journey and struggles with confidence and self-esteem
• Challenges of early motherhood and the importance of meeting your needs
• Discussion on seeking help for postpartum anxiety and depression
• Importance of mindset and personal growth
• Finding work-life balance as a mom and entrepreneur
• Three main components of work-life balance
• Tips for creating and sticking to a schedule and meeting essential self-care needs
• Discussion about coaching and what's rewarding about this work
• Chelsea's transformation and positive changes from following her own advice 

Find Chelsea Wilson:
https://www.instagram.com/confidentlychelsea/?hl=en

If you're interested in working with Meredith, click here to set up a free Sleep Intervention Call.

If you'd like to learn about the Baby-Centered Sleep Consultant Program or Mastermind set up a call with Meredith HERE.

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Keywords: new mom, confidence coach, life coaching, psychology, matrescense, work-life balance, meeting essential needs, self-care, postpartum depression, postpartum anxiety, mental health, connection, entrepreneur, time management, mom-life, schedules, mom entrepreneur, work life balance, new baby, postpartum

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Check out the links below & add your name to our waiting list so you can join our next session.

Learn More About the Baby-Centered Sleep Consultant Certification Program HERE.

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Transcript

Meredith (00:00:00) - Welcome to the Sweet Slumber podcast. I'm your host, Meredith Rough. Whether you're a seasoned sleep consultant, a sleep coach, a birth world professional, or a mother aspiring to enter this fulfilling field of sleep expertise, you are in the right place. I'm here to teach you my baby centered solution so you can help exhausted, struggling parents reclaim their sleep and help children thrive along the way. I'll teach you how to find harmony in your life and avoid burnout. Build a thriving business and become a financially independent woman. My goal is to help you fall in love with sleep coaching and never look back. Let's embark on this journey together for dreams or sweet and the work is rewarding. Stay tuned for a show that will transform your business and the lives of those who touch. Hello! So happy to be here today. I have a guest I'm really excited to share with you. Her name is Chelsea Wilson. Hi, Chelsea.

Chelsea (00:00:59) - Hello.

Meredith (00:01:02) - Um, you'll be learning lots more about her and hearing from her in a second.

Meredith (00:01:05) - I just want to tell you a little bit about why we're here. So I met Chelsea recently, and she shared her story about motherhood, and she has some wisdom and some inspiration to share with you. So I'm really excited for today's episode.

Chelsea (00:01:21) - Thank you.

Meredith (00:01:23) - So Chelsea is a 28 year old new mom to a beautiful seven month old baby boy who's engaged to be married. She has a background in psychology and behavioral analysis. She's worked in numerous jobs, but for the last three and a half years has been a confidence coach. After she became a mom, she pivoted over to strictly helping moms get their well-being back, find a work life balance, and maintain their confidence. So, Chelsea, I, I love your story. I hope that you'll expand on that and tell us a lot more. So why don't you start by telling us a little bit more about your little family, where you're coming from, and, and then go into, you know, your story of your background? Yeah.

Chelsea (00:02:04) - Thank you so much for having me.

Chelsea (00:02:05) - First of all, you're welcome. I'm actually from Canada, so I live just outside of Toronto in a smaller area just called Oshawa. I we've been here for probably a year and a half. I've been with my fiance actually not that long. But we were best friends for about a year before we decided to, I guess, get together romantically. But we got pregnant and that was a roller coaster to say the least. I didn't love being pregnant, but it was a roller coaster and now we have a beautiful seven month old boy. He is just like so happy, such like a gift to us. And he's added such like beautiful aspect to all of my life. Hey. My fiance. So what kind of got me into the field of, like, helping people, as I've always had an interest in? I guess helping people find solutions for things that they struggle with. Growing up, I was not a confident person at all. I lacked, I was quiet, I was shy, I just didn't really feel comfortable in my own skin.

Chelsea (00:03:09) - I was worried about being judged how people would perceive me. I had quote unquote daddy issues, as you would say. So I really struggled with my life for a long period of time, which is finding like my place and. I would say. When was this? Like four years ago. I had a really bad experience. Happened to me, and I hit my rock bottom. And when you hit your rock bottom, like, what I like to say is, the only place that you can go is up. So I went to a conference, a personal development conference all by myself, which is totally out of character for me. I do not usually do stuff by myself, and it's the beginning of like a beautiful journey where I started, like finding my voice and I found confidence. And after that I realized, like this unlocked a whole new world. And I thought that was my gift to the world. So I was a confidence coach. About three and a half years, I helped women with body confidence get over, um, sexual assaults.

Chelsea (00:04:07) - I did a lot of that type of work with women and I really enjoyed it. It was very satisfying. But when I became a mom and when I got pregnant, I saw how society treated pregnant women, mothers, and I just didn't love it. We were put on the back burner and I believe, like we're so important, we're raising the next generation. Yet people don't really care what's going on with us. And I'm more focused on the baby and kind of tell us, without telling us, that we're not as much of a priority anymore. And that we, society doesn't care about us. So my mission became helping moms find their identity, finding their work life balance, finding what makes them happy, and within that. It was an amazing growth in myself, within others. But like I said, I have a seven month old. I struggled really hard the first like month and a half. I was emotional, I was overwhelmed, I didn't know how to juggle a house, how to have a good relationship.

Chelsea (00:05:09) - My relationship with myself was hard and that's where it stemmed in finding a work life balance. That's where I specialize in now is I just realized how much it dominated in my life and how when one aspect was out, my mind was out, my business was out, everything was out, and I just couldn't show up as the best mother, best fiance this way. So I did the work. I took a lot of the tools that I had before. I had a lot of conversations with other moms that made it work, and now I've crafted like a program to help other moms kind of avoid that or pull themselves out of, um, I did mine in a short period of time, and that's where my mission is to try to help women do the same thing, to get the result as quickly as possible, just because no one wants to sit in that uncomfortable, not happy place. And we all want to be thriving and learning. It is a process. But when you get the foundations in place, I feel like.

Chelsea (00:06:04) - You can get a little bit more relief in what you're struggling with. So that's kind of my story on how my business kind of happened to my family and all of it.

Meredith (00:06:14) - I love it. That's so awesome. Thank you so much. We'll. When Chelsea shared this with me in the beginning, she probably remembers, I was like, how old is your baby? How in the world have you already come that far? And like, even pivoted your business. Like, that's just really impressive. And I think it's such a blessing that you had the tools before to know how to pick yourself back up. That's, I'm sure, a big part of why it happened quickly. But like you said, you've got a process that people can repeat, right.

Chelsea (00:06:45) - And you have to also like like want to be going through these hard times to get better. I think that's a huge thing, is like some people do have the tools, but they're not making the change because they don't want to go through this.

Chelsea (00:06:57) - Uncomfortable moments when you're also being a mom like society tells us again that our children are a priority. So we put ourselves on the back burner and they don't want to. We don't want to go through those things and take the focus off our children. But it's very crucial to be spending that deep moments and that deep time with yourself, so that you can pour into each aspect. It isn't easy, it is hard, but you have to be able to dive into the hard to get rid of the pain in your life.

Meredith (00:07:23) - Wow. Very profound. And I think that maybe deep inside we all know that. But just hearing it from you is is an eye opening thing to go, oh, okay, I am avoiding this. And yeah, a lot of this comes from what's expected of me. And then I internalize that and pressure myself to write. Will you talk about that first month and a half? What was hard? I mean, you shared a little bit, but just more in depth for sure.

Chelsea (00:07:51) - So I had a really rough delivery. It was not good. I had PTSD, I had to go to therapy. So my I didn't have postpartum per se. I just had anxiety about like, other children and like my body. And I didn't want to really be touched by anyone. I didn't want hugs, I didn't want anything like that. So I went through a little bit of that, which not everyone can go through. But that was a struggle. And then as well as I couldn't breastfeed, I couldn't keep up. So watching my child be given a bottle was very triggering to me. Thinking like, this is something. As a mother, I'm supposed to be able to do. So I struggled with that for the first month as well, and then it was just like the I would, I like to say the basics, just because I feel like this is fundamental stuff. It was like looking around my house and seeing a mess and being like, why can't I keep my house tidy and have a child and be doing these things for myself? Why can't I do these things like I'm supposed to? Other moms do it.

Chelsea (00:08:47) - Why can't I do this? And when your mind is wanting to do something, but physically you're exhausted and you're drained, I experienced a lot of that. It was like, I want to be making lunches for my fiance. I want to be making dinner for us. I want to be making healthier choices. But there's just so much going on in my head like, I have to do this. I have to worry about my finances. I have to worry about the baby. Like there's so many things going on in my head at that point that I just didn't know how to manage them, and they were so overwhelmed that I wasn't even taking care of my fundamental needs. This is a little story I like to tell people, and I laugh every time when I when I tell it. It was about a month and a half after. I didn't like. I said, take care of myself at all. Like I didn't do any, like maintenance, anything. So I went to see my mom.

Chelsea (00:09:34) - She took my baby and she was like, you are not leaving my house until you shave your legs, because I had to move my legs. They were so long. It took me five minutes to do. And that was like one of my moments of being like, Chelsea, like, why aren't you doing these fundamental things? Like, you can find time and it's just like a funny story that I like to remind myself of, like. I was the back burner. I didn't do those little things. I didn't take those little moments and everyone around me noticed, and my mom kind of forced me to do it. And that was like a switch in my head being like, okay, if I did a little bit, maybe it wouldn't take me 35 minutes a month and a half later, little moments. So I struggled with that, that those things were really hard for me. And then it was just like as a mom, like, what am I supposed to be doing? Where am I supposed to be at? Like, am I measuring up to other moms? Like a big thing is, like, I'm online.

Chelsea (00:10:32) - I'm doing a lot of Instagram things. I'm sure a lot of people are on social media. You're seeing other moms and I'm not. I've never really compared myself, but in that stage, my mind was everywhere that I started comparing myself like, oh, look at these other people doing these things. And I just think that it's a domino. It is a complete domino effect. These are some of the things that like when you get overwhelmed and there's so much going on, and in that first month and a half, little things turned into massive things and they consume you. I didn't even want to get out of bed. Some days I didn't even want to. Like I wasn't eating properly, I didn't eat breakfast. I would maybe eat a little bit of lunch, like I wasn't taking care of myself as well, like my child was taking care of. That was my priority. But everything else around us kind of felt like a hurricane, and I just couldn't get grips on it. Yeah, and that was the struggle.

Chelsea (00:11:21) - What?

Meredith (00:11:22) - What are some of. I just want some insight about how you how you change that, um, dynamic. Like where did you start? How did you start to figure out how to take care of yourself? I mean, just. Consider one thing. A lot of my listeners are raising extremely difficult, demanding children who need their attention a lot, and they they have to, like, hold them while they nap. And they hold them sometimes at night, and they're getting terrible sleep. And so a lot of people will come to me saying, my baby needs so much from me that I really can't prioritize myself. And I do believe there's ways. So I guess I just want to get a little bit of insight from you about what you did to put yourself back on the radar. Where did you start?

Chelsea (00:12:09) - Yeah. So for me, just as a little tidbit, my child slept with us and I did contact naps, so my baby was with me 24/7. So I can relate to those types of moms 1,000%.

Chelsea (00:12:24) - Like every nap he had, I was holding him. Every time we would go to bed, I was holding him like there wasn't much time, that I wasn't connecting. And so it does get overwhelming. And you do feel like you don't get those tidbits of time, but it starts with, for me, it was starting to realize, okay, what are three things that I can start doing when I'm with my baby? And what's three things? And you can be holding your baby. You could be like putting your baby down. It's three things you want to do. And it starts little like mine was making sure to brush my hair every morning. I'm not like, you don't have to do these crazy, magnificent things. It's starting with the fundamentals, right? And building off of that. That's how you get a work life balance is you start little and you start piecing it together. It's not this do everything at the same time and figure it all out. And the juggle. Do you know, you start small and you build a foundation.

Chelsea (00:13:21) - So it was brushing my hair, making sure to shower every three days. And shaving my legs.

Meredith (00:13:28) - For me, it was remembering to eat. Yeah. To grab water and bring it with me to the basement where I was staying. And. Like, sometimes we're so bad we don't even go to the bathroom. You know, fundamentals is is a big thing. You have to start there.

Chelsea (00:13:45) - I would hold my baby to go to the bathroom and then I'd be like, oh my gosh, like, how do I do this? Like, and I'm like, why am I doing this? Like, I need to find a different solution. Yes, it works, but it's not the best thing for my mental space. Right. So you find solutions. Mine now is he loves lying on the mat. I literally would put him on the mat and I would laugh or give him a toy. And he learned to love it. Yeah. And then I would get that little moment. And he's still close to me.

Chelsea (00:14:16) - And that's how we did it.

Meredith (00:14:18) - So because of my role, I don't. I have to bring this up. Um, because it's. Yeah, like I said, it's part of my role, and I've got all these other people listening and wondering. You said you did not have postpartum depression or anxiety. Why do you say that?

Chelsea (00:14:36) - Because postpartum is a very common thing. But I didn't have the intrusive thoughts. So with intrusive like postpartum thoughts, I've done a lot of research on it. Everyone is different. Everyone goes through different things. But that's consuming in itself without what I went through.

Meredith (00:14:57) - So you're saying your anxiety. But it was it was like more in the low end is that you're saying it.

Chelsea (00:15:04) - Wasn't like I wasn't having bad thoughts. I wasn't thinking like I was like I was struggling, but I wasn't like I'm a bad mom or like there was no wanting to hurt myself. There wasn't no wanting to leave my baby. There wasn't like, yes, I would cry and get overwhelmed when he would cry too much, but it didn't consume me the way that postpartum does.

Chelsea (00:15:22) - I did a lot of research on it. I also, I don't know if people know, but it's very common in males. My partner had postpartum. Yeah. And when I looked that up, for people that don't know, postpartum in males is very common. Every two of the three males now have it. And the reason that it happens is because they've seen their partner go through something traumatic like mine was a traumatic delivery. It could be traumatic anything, and they didn't get time to heal it. So when the baby is getting loud or like there's so much going on, it triggers that response that they felt when they were watching you go through this trauma. Yeah. So it's a very similar but a little different because the males brain and mind works different. I experienced postpartum through him a little um, and then the research. But I did not go through the like doctor diagnosed postpartum.

Meredith (00:16:08) - Okay. You keep saying postpartum. So postpartum depression or post oh home depression.

Chelsea (00:16:13) - Tell me.

Meredith (00:16:14) - It's okay.

Meredith (00:16:15) - It's okay nickname for you. So and I've I've been trained to spot it. And so I focus on a lot of things a lot. And so another reason I bring this up is because I want to make sure that there's no one out there who are looking at themselves and saying they're the same as you, and so they're okay. So guys, this is a pretty in-depth thing where you do want to talk to a doctor, you want to talk to a therapist, you want to make sure because I side on. So I would rather see people just go see someone and get the help or find out if they need help, even if it's on the low end. So. After three weeks, it's no longer baby blues. Um, if your anxiety is just with you all the time, if your emotions are a roller coaster, that's enough. Those red flags are enough to go see someone and and get the support. It's not all about drugs necessarily. It's more about having support. And they do help you come up with a wellness plan.

Meredith (00:17:13) - One of my clients recently told me she wasn't happy with her therapist, who was treating her postpartum anxiety. Um, because she wasn't really helping her progress. She wasn't really helping her, like, solve things. And I told her that the role of the provider during this time is actually to let you vent and to help you come up with a wellness plan. Those are their two main jobs. I think that's really good for people to know, because it's not the time to solve like childhood issues or even relationship issues in the past, maybe what's going on now, but you know what I mean? It's very different. And that's actually what's healing. So is there anything you want to add to what I just said?

Chelsea (00:17:52) - Yeah, I actually, um, I maybe should have noted this. I actually did go to the doctor to see if I had postpartum depression. Good. Because I was low. And I think it is important because you do go for it usually, like, I don't know, in other countries, but in Canada at the six weeks mark, they do do a doctor's appointment and they say if you need to go before or go before, um, I do think it's important to have these conversations and actually be transparent with your doctor.

Chelsea (00:18:17) - I know it's hard. I know you don't want to admit it, but like you said, it doesn't always have to be medication. There's other things that are going to help you. And with my doctor, he was just like, you have the tools in place. They're not as intrusive as thoughts that most postpartum depression people have. And that's why he cleared me. But you may experience what I'm experiencing and you may have postpartum depression for sure. So make sure to be talking to your doctor because you don't have to one. Do this alone and like to be stuck in your own head without any like, resolution or things to help you. Yeah. That's key.

Meredith (00:18:57) - Well, and it could get worse. So you just want to you want to get in there as early as you can. Oh, sure. I don't want to live with it. And you don't want to hide it. You don't want to bury it. And honestly, everyone I've ever talked to about it, things get worse in your relationship in the way you're feeling, so it's just not worth it.

Meredith (00:19:12) - I know moms think, look, you're doing so much for your baby already. Then maybe take that angle, do this for your baby. But we want we want to help you think more about do this for you today right. Yeah. Mhm. So how how is your life different now after. Like there's there's a lot that my listeners might want to know, like, oh my gosh, tell me your system. Tell me what you do. Well, this is her business, so I'm not going to ask her to share everything. And she probably customizes based on what people need. But I do want to at least hear about, like when you applied the tools, when you applied all of your awesome magic, what changed for you? And we'll go over a tip in a little bit. So don't worry guys.

Chelsea (00:19:58) - I was like, yes, let me share some things. Yeah. Um, the change was it starts small. Like I said, it's the small changes and you feel a little bit of release.

Chelsea (00:20:11) - But now looking back seven months. So I've been probably I've had this relief, I would say for four and a half, close to five. You just feel like you're living as. And before I was like, it just feels. It felt heavy. Now I can enjoy moments as and before I was trapped in my own thoughts and what else I need to do in the mental checklist now? I'm like living more. I'm getting to plan things and be excited for them versus looking at my schedule and being overwhelmed. Um, it's enjoying those little moments and not having my mind somewhere else. I get to sit there and watch my son and actually take it in. I wasn't at the beginning, and that's the reality a lot of us are going through because we're healing too. But now I get to look there and be like, oh, I see the progressions. As when he was younger, I really didn't see them because I was so consumed with everything else. My relationship with my fiance is a lot better.

Chelsea (00:21:08) - Like, we realize that we weren't prioritizing our relationship and we're the foundation of our family. So now that we do like, we go like it's fair season here. So we go to fairs every weekend. We've done date nights, and if we can't get away from him, we'll do like a wing date night still together with him. Like we prioritize these moments, but we're also present for them. As in before we want prioritizing these things. And we weren't doing it. We were just running amok because we didn't know how to juggle everything because there is so much going on. Now we get to enjoy our life with ease and grace and like, feel happy and confident. It's still a journey. It's always going to be a journey. There's going to be obstacles, is going to be boundaries. But we have some tools in place to help us kind of combat some of it and still get to have those moments like, I feel like me again. As in, like before, I was like when I first had him, I was like, Is Chelsea gone? Like, is this going to be the reality for the rest of my life? Like, now I'm my son's mom.

Chelsea (00:22:14) - Yeah. We're like, Who's Chelsea? Because you also do change. Like I'm. I am the same person technically, but I'm different since I had my son. It's not a bad thing, but you learn to grow. And now I get to know who like Chelsea is again. And that was fun. We discovering who I am and what I'm capable of and, like, have my little sidekick with me. Like, it's a fun thing that we get to go through, but there just needs to be a little bit of structure in order to get there, because I was running amok, and I know that lots of people are going to do so. That's why I want to help people so that they don't have to go through it long term. Because now that I feel it, I want you guys to feel. And enjoy your life. That's why we had kids. That's why we have a family. We want to be present for those moments. So if we set those things in place that allow us to get to spend time with our kids more and be there, actually be there.

Meredith (00:23:11) - Mhm. Which is interesting because when you're. In survival mode. You're not. You're definitely not thinking about what you're missing. You're just trying to get through the day to day. Right? And the moments. And I think that maybe we get a chance every now and then to think about what we're missing and long for that. Are we like, just notice how empty or miserable we feel. So Chelsea, just this is great because you're helping us think more about what matters. And it's really easy for us to go off track in life the rest of our lives. Guys, doesn't matter if you have brand new baby or you're my age with a grandbaby who's won, it's easy to go off track away from what matters most to you. And then we live with regret and guilt and we wish we could get it back and so many other feelings. So I love what you're doing because you really help people embrace what they have now, so that there's less guilt and there's less regret and we can't go back.

Chelsea (00:24:05) - And it's like you're capable of it. It drives me insane. When you look online, people like you can't find the balance. Yes you can. You just don't have the tools in place like this is possible. And I know in our head we're like, mom, guilt will never go away. These things will never go away. Well they will. You may have moments that they come back, but if we use the tools to combat them again, it will go away. We don't have to live with mom guilt. We don't have to live in the overwhelm. We don't have to. Yes. Society, yes or brain? Yes. So many things try to tell us we do, but we actually don't. That is the biggest myth that I hear. And when my clients come to me and they are like, Chelsea, is it possible? I'm like, yeah, it is. So, like, it's so possible. Yeah. No, you're working what you're capable of because you started this family.

Chelsea (00:24:51) - That takes a lot of work. You're capable of this. We just gotta train our actions in our brain to open up to it. One and then do the thing. Number two. Yeah.

Meredith (00:25:03) - Yeah. And if you're out there and you're thinking, I'm sorry, I just cannot wrap my mind around this because I have the toughest kid. I totally get it. But it's interesting how much our brains try to protect us and how much mindset plays into change and embracing happiness, right? Yeah.

Chelsea (00:25:22) - And our mind doesn't want us to change. It's going to give us the easiest way to stay comfortable. It doesn't want like it doesn't want you to grow. It doesn't want you to move forward. It wants you to stay comfortable. It wants to be neutral. It doesn't want to have the highs. It doesn't want to have the lows. It just doesn't. That's how our brain is wired. So it's going to combat you like you said. It's going to say like no you can't. You or you're not strong enough.

Chelsea (00:25:46) - You like, it's going to tell you these things, but you can. That's the thing. So you just have to believe it. That's why with me, I also still incorporate my confidence coaching because I think a lot of it is mindset, like you said, and building up that voice in your head and like combating that in itself. Is important as well.

Meredith (00:26:07) - Yeah, we just don't realize. I mean, people in general need a lot of work on their psyche, on their mindset, and not just women, but I just feel like we just have a unique set of of struggles and maybe even natural instincts that can kind of get in the way because there's a lot of tendencies that we all women have in general, especially moms, you know? And so I love this, I love this. It's just being willing to grow, being willing to open the box and see what's in there. And I got to tell you, looking back on my life, I'm so grateful for growth. And I actually am thinking about that with you.

Meredith (00:26:48) - Like you have a seven month old. And here you are with this wonderful perspective about enjoying things, and you sound like you're 40, not 28, and feeling like you have a 17 year old and a seven month old. But there's so much ahead of you with the mindset that you have right now for growth, for experiencing the best of life. And I'm just so happy for you. It's just exciting. It's so exciting.

Chelsea (00:27:15) - That's important though. Like, I really do feel like it's important because if you want to grow, you have to reflect. Yeah, you have to accept that you may not have done something that you wanted or in the way you wanted, but that's part of your journey. Not everyone believes it, but I do. Everything happens for a reason. You're on a journey. You're on a path to become a better version of yourself, to get where you're supposed to. And if you hold yourself back, you're not going to get there.

Meredith (00:27:42) - Well, let's talk about the other piece.

Meredith (00:27:44) - This is so important to me. We go through things so we can help other people. Not everybody's open to that. So not everybody gets this experience, but I'm open to it. And so many of the people that I know are. So it's I've talked about this on one of my recent podcast that a lot of people in the coaching world have had these experiences, and then they're inspired by them and they put it into a business. And I love that you're a model of that and that you can share your journey. We skip something though. What were you doing before three and a half years ago?

Chelsea (00:28:19) - I was everywhere.

Meredith (00:28:21) - Here, everywhere.

Chelsea (00:28:22) - So I was my mom had a conversation with me at one point being like, Chelsea, you need to pick a job. I was a job jumper, as they call it, but the like, and I hated working for people. I liked being the boss because I didn't like the way that people talk to each other. I didn't like the disrespect.

Chelsea (00:28:37) - I didn't like the not team atmosphere. So I found I was in a lot of different jobs. I was an event coordinator, I ran restaurants, I started a brewery. I was in a lot of service based. Um, but I and I worked in a daycare with special needs. I did a lot of those types of jobs, but I was not finding what actually, like, fired me. But now all of the things that I've learned from all those brought me to here and gave me the tools to run my own business. It gave me the tools to be able to help people. If I didn't go to school, I wouldn't have the psychology background. If I wasn't a boss, I wouldn't know how to combat problems. If I didn't work with special needs children, I wouldn't know patience and that behaviors aren't what they seem like, that there's other things that are going on. So each. That's what I mean by like everything happens for a reason. Each job taught me. What I needed you to move forward.

Chelsea (00:29:29) - And I think that's a really important part of a journey, is to remember that. Give yourself some grace, because I did. I was like, oh, you're so silly. Just you. You don't stay at a job, you can't find anything. What's wrong with you? But in the long run, I wouldn't do it any different. I met amazing people, I learned amazing things, and now I have the tools to do what fires me as well as help people.

Meredith (00:29:54) - Yeah, yeah. So I'm just thinking about so many of my clients who might be listening and the type of people that I work with. They often have a story, you know, going through a really tough pregnancy, traumatic birth, a lot of difficulties raising a child. Maybe the child had health problems. It was really hard to figure this out. Maybe it was all about, you know, having a very active baby or a highly sensitive baby. The sleep thing. So this is just an opportunity for you listeners to be thinking about what we're saying and wonder inside about your future.

Meredith (00:30:27) - Maybe it feels too big right now, but in the in the near future, I just challenge you to think about your experiences and what you can do to turn those around and relate to people and offer tools to people. And you know that I have a sleep coach training school, so I'm here for you. We'd love to, you know, bring anyone into that field and help you love that job. But I also love talking to people about other job opportunities there are and just helping them kind of think about what's inside, what's in my brain, what do I want to do, you know, just explore that. So I hope that you guys will take an opportunity to, to set up a call with me, and I'll talk about that here at the end. But I just really appreciate you sharing your journey, Chelsea, so that people can think about that for themselves, because we didn't really talk about how are you loving it like the last three and a half years? And now what is it that you love about what you do and how does it fit your life and who you are better?

Chelsea (00:31:22) - So the confidence coaching I loved, because my favorite part is that moment when someone makes the connection like.

Chelsea (00:31:30) - I feel this. Like I feel confident or I don't have to live with that pain I had anymore. That's the reason I confidence coach was to get that result for people. And the look on their face and the way that they felt, the messages I would get later being like, oh my gosh, I had this conversation with my mom that I hadn't talked to in three years, and I felt amazing because I, I stood my ground, I set boundaries, and now we're going to have a relationship. So those moments like causing that relief for people and then moving into doing my business now and helping moms is. That moment when they realize that they can do it. One like you when you see it. Two when they decide to invest in themselves and not like, oh my God, I'm scared. But like this is happening. And then three getting that result of like now watching them on Instagram and seeing like they're spending more time with their family or they're making more money in their business so that they can buy house for their kids, like to see that progression? I think it carries between both jobs.

Chelsea (00:32:40) - That's my favorite part. And then also being able to spend time with my family. And I had a lot of debt, and I had not known where I went. And to give me a little bit more of like a release to pay that all off, to live happily and to be with my family is a gift in itself, especially doing something that I love.

Meredith (00:32:59) - Yeah, well, and you work with a lot of people who most of your clients are working moms. Is that true? Or they're going to go back into the work field?

Chelsea (00:33:07) - Yeah. So I have a lot of entrepreneurial. It seems like. But then I'll work with any moms that have a 9 to 5. It's just a harder sell. Usually people in the 9 to 5, they may not be right at their mindset or their mental health, um, journey. Yet it's a mindset shift, right? So when you're ready, that's when I'll. Be like a great addition to your life. I've just noticed a lot of moms going back.

Chelsea (00:33:34) - They need some time for us to kind of get into their routine before they're ready. But a lot of younger, entrepreneurial mom come to me right away. Yeah.

Meredith (00:33:44) - Well, it's just a different thing. And I don't ever want to, like, act like coaching or entrepreneurship is a perfect world. It's challenging, but it's so rewarding, right? Like, I hated working for people, I hated schedules, I hated that I had to be at work every day from this time to this time, and I needed more flexibility for my family's needs, too. And. Yeah. So this is freeing and it's flexible and. There's there's a lot to it, but it's. How do you weave this into your day as a mom, right. When you're an entrepreneur? How do I balance this much time? How do I choose to use this time, and how do I not get burnt out? And like you've said this whole time, how do I put my needs first? So it's quite a it's quite a juggle.

Meredith (00:34:32) - And so I love the idea of having a coach like Chelsea to walk you through that and to keep you focused on the right things that matter to you. I'm sure that you have a wealth of knowledge to help people. It's wonderful.

Chelsea (00:34:47) - I can give you guys a ten bit of, like what the basic meaning of work life balance is. Okay. Because a lot of people don't actually know what the three main core components are. Mhm. So if you had to take a guess, what would you think the three main components of a work life balance is like if you're lacking it'd be one of these three when you're thriving. Although we work together.

Meredith (00:35:11) - That's a tricky question. Um. Well, I think about it for myself. So for me, I think about what I need to do, I think about. So priorities would be one piece and then like systems, um, routines. Trying to have some predictability and structure in your life. I don't know exactly how to answer your question, but I just.

Chelsea (00:35:37) - I'll tell you the answer.

Meredith (00:35:38) - We got to keep ourselves up there, our needs being met. Go ahead.

Chelsea (00:35:42) - So it's time, okay? Energy and money.

Meredith (00:35:46) - So simple. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Chelsea (00:35:48) - Simple. And then an umbrella is right. So there is a thousand components that go into it. But these are the three main core. If one of them is off all of them are off because they don't work cohesively. And that's what the true like that's what you work on to get the balance. But people look at everything, especially work life balance, as a huge thing, and they try to tackle every little bit at one category at a time.

Meredith (00:36:12) - So Sam, again, what are they time?

Chelsea (00:36:15) - Energy and money. Okay. So if like for some people they're like, oh Chelsea, my finances are good and like that one's balanced. I'm like, but is it balanced? Are you planning for the future? Are you an entrepreneur that doesn't have any setup for the future because you don't have a pension? No, I don't have a pension.

Chelsea (00:36:33) - Like maybe your body's holding a little bit of that weight. So there's a lot of components that go into it. It's not just the superficial, like my energy feels great. How is your energy when it comes to your living environment, your parenting, the way that you act on your morning routine? How when it comes to cooking, when it comes to other duties, when it comes to your family, these like there's so many compartments in it, but you got to focus on the ones that are causing that negative resistance and work on those first and then time, obviously, like your schedule. What's going on with your kids? Schedule the time that you make for yourself.

Meredith (00:37:14) - How about people who hate schedules? Yep. How do you help them? Like when people are having an aversion to it? What do you how do you handle that?

Chelsea (00:37:22) - So usually people have an aversion to it for a few different reasons. One is because they feel like they don't ever stick to a schedule. Mhm. Two is that they think that they're too busy for a schedule.

Chelsea (00:37:35) - And three is that they just think they don't like schedule. Yeah. What I say to you is you just don't have the right schedule. If you are looking at your schedule and it's not empowering you or making you feel good, you're not doing it right.

Meredith (00:37:47) - Well, it's interesting because when it comes to babies, you can have a flexible schedule, you can have a loose schedule, but it is something that I teach, and I have clients who come to me and say, I can't or I hate them, or I'm just a type of person that that needs, you know, a lot of flexibility. And I help them figure out some pieces of the puzzle with their baby schedule that really matter. And it's like you've said before, if you just do things a little at a time, you find yourself living that way, right? It doesn't take that long. And so just keep in mind, guys, that we're not talking about something real rigid and we're not talking about something that's unrealistic. It's it's probably pretty simple.

Meredith (00:38:32) - Yeah. Simple.

Chelsea (00:38:34) - Yeah. We're moms. Like, I have a seven month old. If you think that my schedule is by the book and it's like filled in 24 over seven. No, it's that's not how it works. Like and when I say schedules, I understand that like schedules don't always go as flow. Like he wakes up at the same time every day, but sometimes it doesn't go down for his nap at the same time. Well, I don't want that throwing off the rest of my schedule and then giving me anxiety all day. So there is ways that you can make a schedule that aren't so structured, but they're still giving you a relief in the sense of like, you know, you have time, you can find time here. And that you know what's going on. If I didn't have a schedule, I would forget everything. There was so much going on. Right. You need to have some form of a structure, but it doesn't have to be so linear. People thinking when you say schedule that, it's like, okay, from 915 to 930, you're doing this.

Chelsea (00:39:25) - And if that gets thrown off, the whole day is gone.

Meredith (00:39:27) - Yeah. No, that's what I'm picturing. I'm picturing more like time blocks and then having some things in place. And actually, this is a great topic because I teach my clients to have a set wake time, and there's about a half hour leeway. And I, I helped them think about a bedtime, which with young babies is hard to to get to, but it's a goal and you can be flexible a little bit in that when you get there still with that half hour leeway. But those are actually really important ways to improve sleep.

Chelsea (00:39:57) - And seeing trends, like when you see trends in your life. Stick. Follow them. Like I said this to you, and this is like about my son with his sleeping. We co slept. Eventually he told me he was done. He just didn't want me to touch him. I could have been like I wasn't ready. I could have been like, no, you're sleeping with me.

Chelsea (00:40:16) - This. We're just gonna fight this. You can cry. Oh my gosh, we want to cuddle. No, I listened to him. I saw the trend. I saw what was going on. So then when I put him in this crib, it wasn't as hard as it would have been if I was trying to force him. Just see the things in front of you. It may not be as like open or like clear as that, but sometimes when you look, you're going to see trends or see things that are working at those to the schedule. I'm not trying to go and create a brand new schedule, see what's what's working right now and stick it in. And that doesn't work. Okay. Change it.

Meredith (00:40:46) - That's a great tip. And side note, guys, when you follow your child's lead like that, whether it's with play or what they want to eat or whatever, that is how you build a secure attachment. So like, even offering your child a different toy when they're interested in one is going away from letting your child, showing your child that what they want matters.

Meredith (00:41:08) - It's so cool. I'm not going to go on a tangent, but just know things. Secure attachment. It's so exciting. Okay, so that was a really good tip for how to. Figure out a schedule. Is there any other tips that you want to share with my listeners today to just to help them? Because I think in the beginning of this, it was more about meeting your essential needs self-care type thing. What would you like to leave with us?

Chelsea (00:41:35) - Well, essential care and needs, I think, is the first step because you can't show up as a good mom or like good anything in your life, or even just show up properly. Not even good. Take good out of it. You can't even show up in the way that you want to. If you're not okay, you're just not going to be able to. So I always say start with that. And then my next step is take little bits of time. I know everyone says, I don't have time for you to teach me how to have time.

Chelsea (00:42:02) - Okay. That's fine. 15 minutes a day. Pick your three things. Start with that. Then add something else. When those become essential, they go off. You're just doing them. Add something else. It starts and you'll start seeing change within yourself. And if it's not working, stop doing it. You don't have to do things the way that your mind says you're doing them. So if I'm like, I want to shower every day and I just can't or it doesn't feel good, okay, I'm gonna try showering every other day. Right. You can change things. It doesn't have to be the same way. That you initially set it to be. Give yourself some grace.

Meredith (00:42:44) - Yeah, and it doesn't have to be. Yeah. You said what your brain is telling you other people are doing, or what's expected, and doesn't need to be based on who you used to be before your mom. This is all really good stuff.

Chelsea (00:42:55) - And if you want to like, show your progression, journal it.

Chelsea (00:42:59) - Yeah, you're going to feel really good when you look back in a month and you still feel like you haven't gotten that far, but you look back and you're like, I actually have.

Meredith (00:43:06) - Yeah, or.

Chelsea (00:43:07) - Take pictures of what you're doing. Like, I started off by doing whiteboard checklists. Take it, take a picture of it. And then in a month like, oh my gosh, I've been doing my checklist for three weeks. Wow. Good. Me. Yeah, right. It's those little, little wins that create big wins.

Meredith (00:43:25) - That's awesome. Yes. Thank you, thank you, I love that. Wonderful. We've had such a wonderful conversation. Will you tell my listeners how they can find you and talk about programs that you have? Yes.

Chelsea (00:43:38) - So I actually just launched a new program. It's called confidently a Business Mama, and it's helping moms, business owner moms find a work life balance with with confidence and ease. So it's a three month program and we work and we dive into creating the fundamentals and making sure those are your core fundamentals.

Chelsea (00:43:59) - We'll go through like the roadblocks I'll help you navigate everything. Priority setting the schedule that we just talked about, I'll help you make one of those. We're going to mix up your own confidence spice. We're going to have fun with it. We're going to find what works for you and what doesn't. And we're going to get you to be a confidently a business mama. So that is my newest program. It's three months long and you can find me on my Instagram. I do most of my stuff is out of Instagram or Facebook, and you can find me on both of them at Confidently Chelsea so you can find me.

Meredith (00:44:33) - Yeah. And your website.

Chelsea (00:44:35) - I don't have a website, so if you type in confidently a mama, it takes you to book a call with me.

Meredith (00:44:43) - There you go. I just look it up on Instagram right @ConfidentlyChelsea. So easy to remember. And I'm actually proud of you for not having a website simplify. It's so funny because people think they have to have all these things.

Meredith (00:44:56) - I did it. I thought I had to have all the things and you can keep things so simple, I love it well. You are an excellent model of of what we can have and become. And I know that you're not trying to come on here and gloat and be proud like that, but but this is possible, guys, especially with your story of, you know, sharing that you had struggles in the beginning, that you held your son all the time and it's just very relatable. So really appreciate all that you shared and the tips and the insight that you gave me.

Chelsea (00:45:29) - Yeah, it's it's not easy. Like it's still going to be a journey, but you can find your own level of confidence as a mom, confidence as a business owner, confidence in your relationship, confidence in daily life. And you can have a work life balance. It's there's going to be roadblocks. You're going to feel a release. And it's going to feel amazing. So just do the little things. That's all my advice is to you.

Chelsea (00:45:58) - Just start little and it will domino and it will build into your own. Amazing work life balance.

Meredith (00:46:07) - I love it. Thank you so much. So perfect. So thank you listeners for joining us. Don't forget to look Chelsea up at ConfidentlyChelsea on Instagram and Facebook. She can help you become a confident mama, help you find balance in the chaos of motherhood. And I believe she'll help you feel more joyful and fulfilled as well. If you're thinking about becoming a coach, any kind of coach, please feel free to set up a call with me. Look for the link in the show notes, or go to SweetSlumberTime.com/contact and find the link there. Until next time, I'll see you soon. Thanks for listening to the Sweet Slumber podcast. We hope you enjoyed today's show. Before you go, please leave a review and hit subscribe and have a great day!