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In this episode of the Sweet Slumber podcast, host Meredith Brough, sleep expert, instructor, and marketing coach to sleep consultants, shares 5 valuable tips and principles on how to become a powerful and effective mentor and coach to parents. You'll learn guidelines that will bring success and more clients than you can handle!
Meredith emphasizes the importance of not making assumptions about clients' experiences, listening actively, and respecting their sleep goals and personal boundaries. She also stresses the need for empathy and understanding that parents know their children best.
Throughout the episode, Meredith shares humorous and heartwarming stories to illustrate these principles. She has a way of making you feel at ease and proud of the skills and abilities you already have!
Bonus Insight:
Meredith shares a personal story about integrating her faith into her professional life, recounting how positive feedback encouraged her to openly discuss her beliefs.
Topics:
- Importance of listening, showing compassion, & empathy
- Not assuming you know what people are going through
- Focusing on & understanding the client's goals, values, & priorities
- Coaching from the heart by showing compassion & empathy
- Accepting that parents are the experts on their children (not us!)
- Sharing personal experiences to demonstrate empathy & inspire
- Techniques for focusing while listening
- Setting boundaries and waiting for clients to share personal information
- Embracing & sharing personal beliefs & experiences with courage
If you'd like to learn about the Baby-Centered Sleep Consultant Program or Mastermind set up a call with Meredith HERE.
Don't forget to leave a rating or review and share your favorite episodes!
Keywords:
sleep expert, sleep consultants, mentoring skills, coaching, empathy, compassion, listening, client's goals, values, priorities, personal experiences, ADHD, boundaries, families, faith, God, personal stories, authenticity, connection, confidence, attracting clients, coaching success, referrals, word of mouth, rewarding career
The Baby-Centered Sleep Consultant Certification Program Launched on May 27th, 2024!
Check out the links below & add your name to our waiting list so you can join our next session in the Fall of 2024.
Learn More About the Baby-Centered Sleep Consultant Certification Program HERE.
Learn about our Baby-Centered Sleep approach, methods and principles, hear from a few of our graduates, and get to know Meredith HERE.
Meredith (00:00:00) - Welcome to the Sweet Slumber podcast. I'm your host, Meredith Brough. Whether you're a seasoned sleep consultant, a sleep coach, a birth world professional, or a mother aspiring to enter this fulfilling field of sleep expertise, you're in the right place. I'm here to teach you my baby centered solution so you can help exhausted, struggling parents reclaim their sleep and help children thrive along the way. I'll teach you how to find harmony in your life and avoid burnout. Build a thriving business and become a financially independent woman. My goal is to help you fall in love with sleep coaching and never look back. Let's embark on this journey together, for dreams are sweet and the work is rewarding. Stay tuned for a show that will transform your business and the lives of those who touch. Hello, my name is Meredith Ruff and I am here with you today to help you fine tune and hone your coaching and mama mentoring skills. I'm so excited. There's so many things to talk about, so hopefully this won't be too much of an overload on your brain.
Meredith (00:01:10) - I spent a lot of time just thinking and reflecting on lessons I've learned, skills I've developed, things I've experienced over the years, and I'm just really excited to be able to pass on what I've learned with you so that you can learn sooner, and maybe not the hard way like I did sometimes. So there's going to be lots of tips and insights to help you be fabulous. You're going to make a greater impact, and this will help you get more clients and you can handle. And I say that because when you're an incredible coach or mentor, people talk. They're going to be telling each other about you. It's going to be really exciting. So the way I want to start this is that there are five principles that I want to talk about first, that are just really important, and I'll expand on them more. And then I'm going to just start listing out other things that will help you, other ways for you to be more professional and really an excellent coach that. Sets you apart from others.
Meredith (00:02:15) - You know, more talent, more skill and more abilities in this area. I am happy to be here with you today, and I hope that you get a lot out of the show. Looking forward to getting feedback from you. All right, so number one is don't assume that you know exactly what people are going through, what they feel or everything they're thinking. And I learned this one the hard way. Assume you haven't heard their story yet, that you don't know how people feel or think. Let people fill in their own blanks. So the way I learned this, luckily, was with someone I was practicing my coaching with. And when we started talking, chatting, I said something that really threw her off and she didn't say anything to me until later when we finished, which is probably a good thing. But what happened is while we were chatting and she was telling me about her sleep struggles. Maybe from experience, I assumed that her situation with her child was heartbreaking. It was really, really difficult and hard on her.
Meredith (00:03:19) - She had done some sleep training. There was a lot of crying involved. When I heard about it, I said, that must have broken your heart. Well it didn't. She wasn't bothered by it. It was no big deal to her. And so I put these words out there that she didn't relate to. And I just realized that it's really important to just listen and let people tell you what they're feeling. And don't assume that, you know, because we are totally different people. We don't know what others are thinking or feeling. And if you say something like that and you're trying to get a new client, that could really be offputting or offensive. You know, situations can happen where you lose that client. And so that's one piece of the puzzle. But also just so that you can connect with your clients. Another piece of this puzzle of not assuming that you know how people feel or think is keeping your personal opinions to yourself. It's totally great for you to talk about what you believe in, especially when it comes to topics like parenting.
Meredith (00:04:23) - It's important to teach people what's best for a child or even a mom when it comes to how they're taking care of, you know, needs being met based that instruction on science. Share what you're learning personally. If it's applicable or helpful, be neutral. Don't decide what's right for everyone. Another thing that people do in this area on accident is to say always or never, or maybe in your content or on your website. You act like you know exactly what people feel or think. Well, guess what? You probably don't. You're going to miss some people. They're going to read those words and it's not going to connect with them. And you can be really specific and you can say things that are unique and you will reach people. The key here is to say things like may and might and can and maybe and possibly. Does that make sense? So we're just trying to make sure that we, you know, if you're listing out different experiences or feelings, people might go through that. You're not assuming they feel that way.
Meredith (00:05:36) - You don't come across too forceful or strong or sure of yourself. You're saying maybe you've been through this, this could happen to you. This could have happened to you. This can happen to you. You know, like promising something's going to be a surefire solution. Well, you don't know. So you say this can. So it's just been something that I've been aware of for the last year or so that I feel like it's more respectful and not offputting. So number two, tip listen closely to what people say. Validate what they're feeling and going through. And you guys know how to be a good friend. You know why this is important? I don't have to explain it that much. But one of our jobs as a mentor or coach is to listen, to reflect back what people are saying, instead of us acting like we know what they're going through if we haven't been there, you know? So if you do have empathy, then you can say, oh my gosh, I've been through that and this is how I felt.
Meredith (00:06:34) - But for the most part, what people need is to be listened to, especially during postpartum. And just a side note for me, it can sometimes be hard to listen closely because I have ADHD and so I my mind might not be focused enough. I might not be able to retain what they said, I might get distracted or something like that, you know, like, oh, I just thought about what they said and now I'm thinking about this. So I found my own way of focusing while people talk, I type what I hear, and I think, again, this depends on you. Are you someone who can hear something and process it better while you're typing it? Are you someone who's more visual or you someone who's, you know, there's there's just different tools. So find a tool that works for you to help you focus. My approach works really well because I make notes. So that way I can go back to see if there's something I want to share or address, or a detail that I forget.
Meredith (00:07:32) - And I don't have to ask the client or the prospect to repeat themselves. So listening closely is important, and we're going to keep talking about that too. Just a few other guidelines for this specific tip. Don't pry. You should set some boundaries for yourself. Only ask questions when you need to know something. People aren't always open books. They like to protect their privacy, so wait for people to open up about topics that are personal. I'm so good at this that it comes to personal things. I often don't ask enough questions that happens with my kids. It happens with my husband all the time. He'll be like, why? Or well, what is it that they're doing? Or where is it that they're going? And I'm like, I don't know. So I'm not saying to be that oblivious, but do practice it, practice and understand that people have boundaries and they don't like it when you push too much. And like I said, if it's personal, just wait for them to share it.
Meredith (00:08:34) - That's a really good skill when it comes to listening. It's just waiting, you know, waiting for them to get to that point that they want to share or waiting to see if they're going to share it. This makes people feel safe and it makes people feel comfortable. So a couple more pointers on this one. Try not to talk too much unless you're teaching. So, you know, we tend to want to solve things for people always when we're coaches. But we need to make sure that we leave that time for listening and showing compassion and caring. And then it's a time to teach or to instruct. That's the time to open up. But, you know, you can also work on being concise so that you don't talk too long, which I'm not very good at. That's why I have a podcast. I'm just kidding. Help people see all the good they're doing. How wonderful they are. It means we have to be positive and look for those things. Help them know what they mean to their child and family.
Meredith (00:09:31) - You don't know exactly, but maybe you'll hear it in what they're sharing with you. So point those things out. For example, my friend was telling me yesterday about her husband telling her she could invest in a program and that he trusted her. And I told her, wow, your husband really loves you. I am so impressed with how much he loves you from that story you told me. It's just amazing that he wants to show you how much he cares and give you that level of trust. It was just, you know, in my mind, it was an opportunity to help her see how much he loved her. So look for things like that. Number three, tip number three. Don't come up with your own agenda for from start to finish. When you're working with a client, learn what your client wants. What are their goals, what matters to them. You know, what are their values? What are their priorities? Make that your focus. So those are some questions that I ask in my intake form, the questionnaire that people fill out before we start working together.
Meredith (00:10:32) - I actually asked them what matters to them. And later on, when they're filling out the plan, I asked them again, is there anything else that matters to you? And it's really cool how much people open up. So sometimes it's about asking the right questions and then, you know, they've they've learned to feel safe with you and they think of new things. And I really appreciate that. That works well. You can give people what they need, you know, as you go. Like, for me, I have a system when it comes to solving sleep problems, and I believe in it from experience. And so I always follow my system. But that's just an order of things, you know, like wanting to do holistic sleep solutions. So let's cover those first. And then I don't do a sleep method until later in the program because we prepare for it. So again, you can give people what they need, but just make sure that you're facing the steps that you have people take and the direction they're headed.
Meredith (00:11:28) - Make sure that's all based on what they really want. Sometimes people don't want to change their co-sleeping situation. They want to set up a situation where baby can sleep next to them in the bed. They I don't know, they have very specific desires. And so we we have to make sure that we don't force what we would do or what we think is important on other people. Honestly, if you do that, you're not going to have happy clients here and they're not going to go around and tell people about you in a good way. You're not going to get referrals that way. I say this because people often come from experiences with other sleep coaches, sleep consultants. They come to me to solve their problem, and they've worked with someone else who was really pushy, who told them what was right and wrong, who refused to bend and do things the parents way, or maybe even shame the parent for what they wanted to do. And it's not our place. And if you disagree with something, make sure you screen for those things when you're first meeting with them, and then that's you're okay turning away business.
Meredith (00:12:35) - For example, if you if you work with someone who refuses to change a situation that's very unsafe, like sleeping on an armchair, sleeping in a chair, sleeping on the couch, sleeping with an air mattress against the wall, you know, those really dangerous things. Or maybe they put pillows in the baby's bed and they're unwilling to change those things. Then maybe you don't want to support those people. How can you make your clients happy if you don't put their happiness first? So just remember that little guideline and you'll do fine. Tip number four show compassion and empathy. Connect with your clients heart to heart if they're open to it. And I say that because I've had so many different types of clients, you know, people that are like. Oh, we could be best friends forever. You are? So much like me. We really, really get each other. Those are the people you can definitely speak heart to heart with. And then sometimes you can work with people that are more formal, or they want to keep things in a professional level.
Meredith (00:13:39) - And so you might might not have those experiences as much in those cases. But whenever you can, and if you're the right type of person yourself, I encourage you to have those heart to heart conversations where when someone's sharing something, you're showing compassion. If you've been there, you're showing empathy. You're sharing your own stories. You're making people feel so safe that they really open up to you. And,, that's actually been my favorite type of work when it comes to coaching and mentoring. When I work with someone who is comfortable enough to tell me about their personal life and what's hard and cry in front of me. We really, really connect. Like I said, we might become lifelong friends, but those are experiences where they might feel like you're changing their life. You're that lifeline, you're that life preserver that they needed to cling to, and they didn't even know it in the moment until they found it, you know what I mean? And oh, I've had some pretty powerful testimonials come through when people have experienced those types of connections in our conversations.
Meredith (00:14:47) - More than that, my heart was so full and it just it fuels me in my work. You know, I spend the whole weekend after a colleague that just flying, soaring over the moon. So it depends on you and what's important to you and what feeds your soul. But those are really meaningful experiences for me. So just another tip for you to reflect on with this. Tip number four show compassion and empathy. Take some time to reflect. Why do you do what you do? Do you care about the people you serve or their children? Why have you experienced troubles like theirs? If you think of experiences you've been through, times that have been hard with your children, with sleep. Maybe postpartum depression, things like that. Write those out, and maybe it's just like a little tiny description so that you can, like, bring them to mind quicker because while you're talking. Those are also times when we have past experiences come to us. When you're working with people. These are things that you want to share, to show your empathetic and to connect with people.
Meredith (00:15:50) - Okay. Tip number five. If you help parents with their children. Do not assume you know exactly how a child will respond or what they will do in every case. Do not assume you know a child as well as the parents do either. Parents are going to be better at this. They still can't predict their children 100%. They're experts on their child and they have the instincts, the intuition and the connection. So we should never think that we know better than them. I know there's times when parents might be misguided. I do see that because there's myths out there and they influence people. But when it comes to, you know, making your sleep plan, choosing methods, discussing what a child needs, what will work, what will set them off, what will not be good. You should definitely rely on parents. Kids still surprise me. After 30 years of child care and 21 years in this field. And after raising five kids. Some of my associates and I talk about how crazy kids can be.
Meredith (00:16:49) - And I don't mean crazy mentally. I mean, like surprising, shocking. Throwing us off. It's more that we think we've seen it all. And then we get surprised somehow. So keep your mind open. Recently in my mastermind, a few of us were talking about a case and we'd been trying to work through some problems for a while. We kept on giving her new ideas. She kept on thinking of her own great ideas. Well, a month later, she was like, guys. I did everything right. Everything that works for other kids. But this little guy hates to leave his bed. His parents bed. He will not sleep anywhere. We've done all the right things. We've done some baby step moves. We have tried everything. But this child will not sleep anywhere else. The good news is he will fall asleep with his mom out of the side of the room now. And he'll sleep in that bed with her, not next to him. But we cannot get him to sleep in his crib.
Meredith (00:17:51) - And we were all just so stumped because we'd never run into a child who would not transition. So we had to talk about the situation like, you know what? I guess this child needs to sleep in that bed and maybe the parents need to move out. So that's just one of those things that makes me laugh about how kids can still surprise us. Okay, this is very personal to me. So you may not agree, but I think it's okay to share your beliefs about God and or the universe. Don't hold back. You'll attract people who appreciate what you believe and what you share. People might have similar beliefs they may want to believe. And so it took me a little while to be comfortable with this. I think I did it when I became very good friends with some of my clients. I would start to be more open. But for the most part, I tried to keep a boundary around this because I used to work in the schools where it was against the law for me to talk about my beliefs or to talk about God in general.
Meredith (00:18:49) - And so it took me a while to break out of that. But one day I just realized I needed to be more open about this. It actually happened when I was teaching about 200 people and. It was such a great experience. It was so wonderful. And somewhere in there I told them my belief in God and that. He'd been in my life in so many ways. When people talk about chance or they talk about,, Law of Attraction, that it was usually God, and afterward people talk to me and they said not to be hesitant or apologetic about that, that they agree, and it inspired them. And within, I guess, a month, I had the podcast episode about my faith in God and motherhood and how that blessed me. My faith in God is so strong. I told you that I had some people come up to me that said, don't apologize. Don't be sorry for that. We appreciate it. We believe the same way. And your stories were beautiful. Well.
Meredith (00:19:53) - A couple weeks went by and a lady that I had connected with sent me a text and said, hey, let's get together and have lunch sometime. I really want to get to know you better. I love what you're doing on your podcast. I have a podcast too. And so we made arrangements. We made a plan to do that. And the day we were supposed to meet, I was sick. And so I texted her and I says, I'm not going to make it. I'm not going to be able to go to lunch with you. Let's reschedule. And she came back and said, you know, I would love to, but I've just been feeling. Really impelled, really moved to to share a message with you. That's in my heart something that God whispered to me when you were up there speaking. And I I've just known for weeks now that I was supposed to send that message to you. And she said. Don't be afraid to talk about God. He wants you to open up and talk about him.
Meredith (00:20:52) - It's okay. Don't be afraid. And what was amazing about that was that I had written my script. I had. A plan of what I wanted to talk about, and then I put it aside. I even planned a date and I forgot, and I wasn't doing what I was supposed to do. I wasn't following the inspiration and I wasn't acting on it. And so what was interesting is I looked at my schedule after I got that message from her, and I was feeling a little better, and it was the very day I had planned to produce that episode the same exact day. And it wasn't on my mind. I wasn't going to do it. I hadn't even recorded it yet. But let me tell you something. A message that clear. I made it happen that same day. And I don't know why. I don't know if I made a difference. I never heard from anyone saying, well, that was life changing or. Well, that was awesome. But I know that I was obedient.
Meredith (00:21:59) - I did what I was supposed to, and I had a good experience doing it. God has always been in my work, and so for me, I want to give him credit and include him in my own way. So I am going to wrap that up for today and do a part two episode where I continue this list of how to be a great coach and mentor, especially to mothers, but also parents and anyone that you work with. I really enjoyed talking to you and sharing these thoughts and feelings in my heart. Let me know if any of this was helpful to you. If you have had any experiences that are similar. Learned anything different from what I'm talking about? You can send me a DM on Instagram or an email. You'll find the links in the show notes. I just really want to hear from you. I'd also like to invite you to follow me on Instagram. I'll be sharing a free resource soon called Cash Flow on Cruise Control in five steps. So look for that on @sweetslumbertime.
Meredith (00:23:03) - Thank you for spending time with me today. Watch for part two very, very soon. Until next time. I'll see you soon. Thanks for listening to the Sweet Slumber podcast. We hope you enjoyed today's show. Before you go, please leave a review and hit subscribe and have a great day!
