Meredith Brough (00:00:00) - Welcome to the Sweet Slumber podcast. I'm your host, Meredith Brough. Whether you're a seasoned sleep consultant, a sleep coach, a birth world professional, or a mother aspiring to enter this fulfilling field of sleep expertise, you're in the right place. I'm here to teach you my baby centered solution so you can help exhausted, struggling parents reclaim their sleep and help children thrive along the way. I'll teach you how to find harmony in your life and avoid burnout. Build a thriving business and become a financially independent woman. My goal is to help you fall in love with sleep coaching and never look back. Let's embark on this journey together. Her dreams are sweet and the work is rewarding. Stay tuned for a show that will transform your business and the lives of those who touch. Hello everyone! Today I am sharing part two of my favorite tips and insight that can help you become a fabulous mama, mentor and coach for a greater impact and more clients than you can handle. Today I'm going to be talking more about how to act professional and coach from the heart.
Meredith Brough (00:01:09) - So this is just a list of tips. Some things that I think are really important. It's a long list, but I don't think everybody knows these things. It's not second nature to everyone to understand professionalism, to understand how to really connect with others. Maybe you're really shy, you're an introvert. Maybe you haven't been taught many social skills. I don't know, maybe some of this will just be like, oh yeah, you know what? That's a good idea. Or some of these tips come from my own experience and my own mistakes, so hopefully they'll be insightful to you. If you haven't experienced what I have. So that's my intention. I'm not going to be numbering them at all, just going to be a list in my own perspective of what matters. I'm just listing them as they came to me and as they make sense. So there's no like, this is the best or that's the worst. It's or this one's less important than another. I just really want to point out these things that have been really, really instrumental in helping me be a good coach.
Meredith Brough (00:02:19) - So let's just start with this one. Prepare ahead of time for your coaching calls. Have questions written out? Be prepared to know what you want to share and instruct your clients with. And you know, maybe you make an outline. Make sure that you have information about them. I always do an intake form, and I spend some time taking in all of this insight. And I also do a temperament test, and I really understand the children that I work with through that test. And then I usually come to my calls with a list of questions. Maybe I need clarity on something, maybe there was too much information and it didn't mesh together. And I want to make sense of it. And I just always have questions. And then I present what I want to teach, and we make adjustments as we go, because sometimes I find out something else is more important. One thing I love about those coaching calls is that when I'm on these calls, instincts and intuition kick into gear and I come up with ideas, solutions.
Meredith Brough (00:03:27) - I think of things that I wouldn't have if I didn't have an opportunity to talk to them. So I think it's really important to do calls or visits or face to face sessions with people. For me, that's when my gift, my abilities kick into high gear and we come up with solutions together. So that's just a little side note, but make sure at the end of your conversation that you give your clients time to ask questions. There have been times when I've done a coaching call and run out of time, and then we're emailing back and forth a little bit, and that's okay. It's a way of saving the situation, but I'd much rather help my clients, help my clients feel listened to and given that time, because it makes them feel important and makes them feel like I care. And sometimes their questions are what's really pressing on their mind, weighing on their heart. And if you're in charge and you're running the show, they're going to respect that and just maybe keep that stuff to themselves.
Meredith Brough (00:04:30) - But a lot of times it's important insight or maybe an opportunity to reassure them and help them feel better. So it's just really good to give them that time. This is something that I learned from another coach. I really love it. She was helping me with some mindset mindfulness tools. I guess you could say she's a hypnotherapist and she was actually helping me after I was in a car accident. And so that was really, really helpful timing, good timing, and she helped me work through some of the trauma that I experienced. And before we work together, she gave me a quiz to find out my learning style. And then when we work together, she always focused on that learning style. She said that I was very visual and auditory, and so she customized her approach and things, the tools that she gave me to the way that I learned. So that's just a side note, an idea, something that I haven't even got to really delve into much. But I think it's a great idea.
Meredith Brough (00:05:29) - This is going to be one of those basic tips, guys, that you're going to laugh at, but it still matters beyond time. Try to be responsible and show up for your calls on time. Be there early. Make sure you communicate well. These two go hand in hand because you want to make sure you're reminding your client you're. Meet. Talk to them beforehand. Ask some questions and if anything's going wrong on your end that to communicate ahead of time. You know if you can't make it. If you're going to be late. I have always had very, very kind not only clients, but, you know, the parents that I met with that I didn't work with, they've always been really kind of something came up. I'm a mom. Things happen. Things happen with our health. Things happen, and people are always really cool. But I'm the same way in return. So I'm flexible. I'm kind. Something happens on their end. I'm never angry or, you know, feel like I don't want to work with that person anymore because it's very normal to have interruptions in family life.
Meredith Brough (00:06:30) - It's really normal for a mom to have things go wrong on her. And or maybe she's too stressed out that day and she doesn't want to talk. If she doesn't feel well, maybe your kid doesn't feel well. That stuff's really normal in our field, so we've got to be flexible and kind about it to an extent, right? If people just keep on canceling, keep on not showing up, we're not communicating. Well, maybe that's a sign you don't want to work with them. But for the most part, I don't see that sort of thing connected to this. Again, be aware of people's limitations. So that's not just an individual basis like, oh, well, that person doesn't have this quality. That person is too busy to do this. I'm talking about limitations when being a mom, limitations if they have postpartum anxiety limitations because they have a lot of children or their child has health problems, or just the fact that they're totally distracted on the call because their child's there, or they're feeding their kid or, you know, there's interruptions, that sort of thing.
Meredith Brough (00:07:25) - So one way that I help people through this is I give them notes, I record our calls, I send them. If I don't send them notes, I send them a meeting summary, which zoom does for free with I. And I always, you know, have my written plan to make sure that the steps are very clear and easy to understand. I'm also aware that moms get overwhelmed, and especially if someone has postpartum anxiety, they get overwhelmed and so I try to limit what I send in my first email with directions. It might still be a lot. I might still send like six steps, but I make sure to tell them in that email, hey, will you please just do the first thing? And after you feel really good about that, move on to the next thing. And you don't have to get all this done in the first week. You can, but if not, just let me know when you're done with this list and we'll meet again. So I try to take the pressure off, and I try to limit how much I give them.
Meredith Brough (00:08:20) - And I could probably do better in this area. You know, I do my best and it's worked pretty well. All right. So I guess this kind of goes along with that one too. Don't expect too much of people. And if you do expect a lot of people, I guess more specifically mothers who are busy and have a lot on their plate, maybe they are really anxious. Maybe they're in a tough situation. Be really considerate and understanding about those sort of things. But also, if someone doesn't do exactly what you say or as much as you want them to. Don't be upset or don't show that you're upset. We have to be flexible. Even though we still want to give people accountability, we want them to follow through. We want them to follow our plans. We want them to be great learners and students and people that follow through. But at the same time, we just need to be kind and forgiving, accepting and encouraging. That's the key. If we're hard on people or we're discouraged and it shows, then they're going to feel that and they're going to feel like quitting or they're just not going to feel motivated.
Meredith Brough (00:09:25) - So we need to do what we can to motivate people. So using positive language is the next on the list. And that is a great way to motivate people using positive language as a way of helping other people see the best of feeling good. It's a way for you to have positive energy and help them have positive energy. And I think positive energy is super important for my clients to progress. So I give them tools to help them think more positively and feel more positive so that their baby can feel that. And that's a totally nother different topic. But I just think that we should all be more aware of the way we talk. Sometimes our language is limiting, and sometimes that is something that we want to help our clients work on too, especially when it comes to hoping for change, hoping for things to get better. So work on yourself so that you can help others. Follow through on promises, but make promises with timelines timelines that are realistic for you. Following through on promises is huge, I promise.
Meredith Brough (00:10:32) - Haha. Funny, I promise that you will not make it far in your career if you don't follow through. An example of that is if you have a coaching call and people are expecting follow up notes, a plan to follow and you don't send it, or you take days and days to send it. So make sure that that's all very clear in the expectations. Tell people, you know what, I need a day or two to write the plan. I will get it to you as soon as I can and just understand that they're waiting. That's important. If you support people in person or on video, look in the mirror and practice coaching. Notice any habits that could be distracting like touching your face or your nose, often looking around the room and not at your clients biting your nails. There's so many different things that could be distracting. I once had a call with someone who may or may not have been picking their nose while we were talking on video, and it was very discouraging to me because if that's a long, long habit, it's going to be very hard to break it, a hard conversation to have.
Meredith Brough (00:11:44) - And then. You're going to scare clients away. They're definitely not going to be interested in working with you because it's very uncomfortable and it's not professional. Another key to being professional is working on eye contact and smiling, or at least having a pleasant, upbeat appearance. You know, not everybody is as smiley as I am or laughs as much as I am. People can have different temperaments or dispositions and that's okay. But we just want to at least have an approachable face. Unless you do everything on audio and never get to talk to people face to face, but people can hear it in your voice when you're friendly, so it's something to work on. And this is something that you guys might laugh at because the next one because I do this and I like to edit out my mistakes. So you don't always hear all of them. And I think it's really natural for us to say,, and, and like and stutter sometimes, but if you do it a lot, you want to work on that.
Meredith Brough (00:12:51) - Funny story. Before I met my husband, I realized, I don't know how, but it's been too long. I realized that, I say, I said like almost every other word. I said it so much. I grew up in California and it was back in those days. So I was a valley girl for sure. That was funny too, because for sure it's a really girl thing. Man. I'm just hilarious today. Anyways, you want to just be aware. And so sometimes you might ask other people if they notice these things. You can make videos, your audios and listen to yourself. I recently I think there was this period of time when I took a break from podcasting, and when I started up again, I noticed I was saying like a lot. It was when I was being interviewed quite a bit. So that's even more embarrassing because these people were thinking, she talks like a valley girl. I probably just sounded like a teenager, but I didn't like it and I didn't want to keep doing that.
Meredith Brough (00:13:47) - So I've worked on it saying,, or as normal when you're thinking sometimes, but if you can challenge yourself, do some some silent thinking, because that's easier to edit out and it's easier to listen to. These habits take time to break. Be confident. And why does that matter? Well, you need to learn how to brag about yourself and your solutions, your talent as a sleep coach, because people are going to meet with you. And they need you to reassure them. They need you to believe in yourself. They need you to come across as someone who can solve their problems, or they're not going to hire you. Confidence actually can be faked a little bit. We'll talk about that before we go. And it's something that we can develop and work on. So don't be discouraged if you aren't feeling confident. Confidence comes through experience. That's why I have a mastermind, because people and even in my other sleep consultant training group,, sorry, training certification. We have weeks of mentoring because while you're working with people, having that support system or community around you to help you solve problems and think of all the solutions, and then you're you're sharing your own ideas and your own solutions.
Meredith Brough (00:15:06) - And along the way, you just find that you're more and more confident. So this is a really natural process, and it works even better when you have a community to lean on and a mentor. So you have to learn how to brag about yourself. And there's ways to do that. We'll talk about that too before we finish. Okay. This is a tougher one, guys. I really, really had to learn this there experience and even aging. There's a certain things that come easier to us as we get older. This one is be slow to react and let off steam. When you're a coach and you want to come off as professional. It's important to be able to control your emotions, to stay levelheaded and to think clearly, to not overreact. There's this thing called Google reviews and Facebook reviews where people can talk about you, and you want to make sure that the things they say are positive. So this is so important. My advice to you if something happens, if someone offends you most of the time that's only happened in writing with me and not necessarily face to face with clients.
Meredith Brough (00:16:13) - Maybe once or twice it's ever happened. But my advice to you is take your time in responding. Even if it is face to face. I would excuse myself. I would say, no, this isn't going as well as I hoped, and I think I'm going to take some time to think I'm going to get back to you. And in writing, you just wait, you know, an email comes through and it's upsetting. Maybe you write something right away. That's fine, but don't send it. Wait a day or two. Let the steam go away. Let the clarity come. And then go ahead and write them that email. I think it's so important to be diplomatic in this field because parents are at the worst. They're so exhausted. This is happening in their home. Often for most people where they blow up at each other, they say things they don't mean, they're feeling awful and it shows, comes out in the way they act, things they say. And sometimes that trickles down to us.
Meredith Brough (00:17:10) - It is the nature of our work. When you're working with exhausted parents, for those who have postpartum mental health issues, it's just the nature of the game. So it's really good for you to go into this work expecting to have some of these experiences. Sometimes it will be people having mean natures and others. Most of the time it will be people who are just really tired or frustrated or in a hurry to get their little ones sleeping and. Perspective can go a long way in helping them feel better about how long it can take. But it's our job to present ourselves in a very professional way and to be calm and in control and kind. In most cases, a lot of cases, people come back to me later and said they were sorry. They're taking things out on me. They didn't mean it and they appreciate my response. And that took time. Leads me to my next tip, which is be personable, but don't take it personal. That's such a hard thing to actually live, because another natural piece of the puzzle in our work is to form relationships and to become very connected, very involved in people's lives.
Meredith Brough (00:18:24) - And seriously thinking about all my best friends right now. There are people in other countries and in the states that I worked with in the past, and that crazy. Most of my close friends were my clients, so it can be personal and you can build personal relationships, but the work you have to somehow try and disconnect just a little bit, or even just in those cases when things go wrong, try not take it personal, whatever works for you because this is a job and it. And to be professional, we have to be able to separate those things that, you know, hurt, hurt us, hurt our feelings, offend us, make us feel upset. That's the part where you want to have some separation in your job and not take it personal. That makes sense. Be diplomatic and humble. This will help you so much. And I feel like those are keys to being successful in this business. Don't take things too seriously. Learn how to be kind and in control. Be humble.
Meredith Brough (00:19:26) - Which? Means you're teachable, but also means that you know that you're human. You make mistakes. You make errors. You're not perfect. It's a lot easier to be diplomatic when you can think that way. I almost always include something in my emails to people. My responses when there's something wrong where I say, you know, I could I may have messed up in that on that. You're right. Thanks for pointing that out to me, I appreciate it. Sometimes people are wrong in their being jerks, so not always. But if you can be humble in some way like that apologetic. Sorry for how they're feeling, sorry for something that went wrong, and then even offering something, some way of making it up to them. People feel better and they want to work with you. Learn how to let go of insults, rudeness, or upsetting situations and this is a key to boost yourself back up when that happens. Have some affirmations or a list of things you've accomplished or done to remind you of who you are and what's awesome about you, so that that stuff doesn't settle in your brain and take over, and you end up with imposter syndrome that's just out of control.
Meredith Brough (00:20:41) - That's been really, really helpful to me. The encouraging, especially when someone lashes out at you. Isn't that funny? It might be easy to be encouraging when things are easy, so that might be no big deal. But when someone is rude or unkind, I still find ways to be encouraging. You know, sometimes you'll know that they're exhausted and going through something hard, and that's what you can focus on. And other times it's. Encouraging them. You know, maybe they don't work with you anymore and you wish them the best of luck and success in the future. There you go. Okay, this tip is hard for a lot of people. Be honest, but do it in a nice way. Don't speak all of your thoughts, only the constructive or important ideas or insights that people actually need to hear. There's been lots and lots of times when I kept my thoughts to myself, and that's been really good. And, you know, sometimes you might feel emotional and you might feel upset.
Meredith Brough (00:21:45) - You might feel critical or judgmental of someone frustrated with them and then later understand what was going on behind the scenes, why they did something. For me, that's always been a good reason to keep those thoughts to myself and wait and see what,, is going to come out of the situation. Does that make sense? So I just think not everybody has that boundary, but it's really important if you want to be a successful sleep consultant or sleep coach. Build up your clients, help them feel good about themselves, and grow in confidence. Don't. Oh, this is huge. Don't blame things on the parents. It doesn't matter if you think something is their fault. If you think they created a problem, if you think they could have done better. Maybe you're the program that you took has taught you that parents screw up, and it's their fault that kids don't sleep well. Try to put that aside. It is not a constructive way of thinking. Parents already have enough pressure. They're already blaming themselves.
Meredith Brough (00:22:52) - They already wish they were better. They already see their imperfections. They don't need anyone else to add to this burden. What you can do is focus on what they're doing well. Point out the things that they're doing to meet their little one's needs. The things they're doing to help their children thrive, grow, and develop optimally. Those are actually more important than sleep. And I say that all the time, guys. Parents who are rocking and co-sleeping and cuddling and nursing to sleep. Guess what? That's more important. That relationship, that connection, the physical contact, all the feel good hormones, the support, all the things that those parents are doing to help their kids. Babies, toddlers feel good and feel safe and secure. Those are the best things I can do to help the child's brain develop well, and all of the different facets of health to develop properly, and so many other aspects of life. The ability to learn how to comfort themselves or cope one day, the attachment relationship that they're building so important for future relationships.
Meredith Brough (00:23:57) - So I just want you guys to know that that stuff is more important than sleep. Little ones are actually built to withstand poor sleep, and moms and dads somehow survive poor sleep for years at a time in some cases. In most cases, people are still healthy somehow, probably because everybody is young and in these situations and they're more resilient physically. But these parents are actually impacting their children's health and development and well-being for the rest of their life in those first few years. It's huge. So if you can imagine telling parents that takes such relief off of them, because we can't go back and change things, can't we can't go back and fix them. We can't do it over again. So what good is that negativity? Parents tell themselves that all the time. Most of my clients come to me with the same exact story, that they think they're a failure. They think it's their fault that their kid doesn't sleep well, they know it's their fault, and they're not sure that their kids even salvageable. And I'm like, what in the heck? That is not true.
Meredith Brough (00:25:00) - And what is sad way to think and live? If you can help them understand that the way they've been responding to their child is them listening to their instincts and intuition and being in tune with their child, then you can, which is my next tip. You can help them learn to trust their instincts and their intuition and their connection. And that's huge, because then they're not going to question themselves all the time. They're not going to doubt what they're doing is, you know, this is bad for my kid. We need to help them listen to those three, to their three brains, which is logic in the head, heart and gut. There's neurons in all three of those places. It's so exciting and incredible that, you know, it's not just a made up thing that we can trust our gut or trust our heart. There are neurons in our heart and our gut. I think that's so fascinating. People excuse me, need to listen to themselves and trust themselves, and it will help them be amazing parents and raise their kids to the best of their ability and help their kids thrive.
Meredith Brough (00:26:08) - It's just so exciting. This really helps parents learn to trust their instincts and intuition, let them solve their own problems, or if they go through something where they don't think they handled it well or didn't go as well as they wanted. Talk through it. Point out what they could do. Help them recognize that they were listening to their intuition and instincts. They were doing the best they could. But it's just something that I've always done in my work because. I protect my hours, my personal life I don't really talk to. Into the evening hours or on the weekend? I used to, but I don't really need to because I'm not sleep training so I don't have to help parents get through those really ugly hours where they're kids crying really hard. And, you know, it's just different. I'm helping parents improve sleep in such a peaceful way. It's not as stressful. And so people are talking to me after they experience something and asking me for advice afterwards. But I'm also able to encourage people to solve problems on their own.
Meredith Brough (00:27:10) - Even when we're talking and we're troubleshooting, I'm asking them what they think would work. I'm asking their opinion on my ideas. You can ask your clients to think about something for a couple of days, while you think about it for a couple of days, and then come back together. There's some really great ways to encourage them so that when you're done working together, they they're ready to to be on their own and they're confident doing it. It's so cool. You can help them understand that they don't need to be perfect. Remind them that their infants or young children are forgiving and loving. They're not holding grudges. Nobody's keeping track, keeping score but you. The messy house is not going to be judged by the baby. And so what we do is, you know, to support our kids and be there for them. Even with messes happening, it's just more important. Here are some ideas to help you get better at coaching. Find good resources on parenting, motherhood, inspiration, books, podcasts, articles, roleplay your coaching, or maybe your sales call with a friend.
Meredith Brough (00:28:09) - Do market research. So meet with people and ask them questions and get to know what matters to them. And just have these conversations where you're just learning and you're not selling. This is really, really important. I love it, it's helped me make some good friends and,, find clients. Practice coaching in your DMs. This is where I started. People were sending me messages asking me questions, and I was answering them, going back and forth in writing before I ever had to be with them physically or on zoom. I think it's less scary. And then you get to go back and edit what you're writing, too. It's kind of nice. So practicing in the mirror, I kind of mentioned that already. You can actually give yourself advice that you need to hear. You can practice affirmations. You you can even talk about how much you're going to charge, looking in the mirror and looking in your eyes and being like, I believe in myself, I'm worth it. I, you know, the services that I offer are worth it.
Meredith Brough (00:29:10) - Maybe some of the affirmations could be on believing in yourself, showing up authentically, being courageous that you're making a difference. You will find people who appreciate those things about you and you'll reach like minded people. And for me, that's who I want to work with. I want to work with people that I understand and I get along with, and we get each other. Another tip for you in how to improve is learn what postpartum depression and anxiety signs are so you can be sensitive and aware. Help your clients get help. But also, especially when it comes to anxiety, people get overwhelmed. There's only so much they can take. There's only so much they can even listen to. So you have to try not to overload. Maybe you give a more baby steps in anything with postpartum depression or anxiety. Learn about mindset, tools and the law of attraction and mindfulness tools. Empower your clients with the knowledge that you find after you practice on yourself. Wow, that was a lot, but it was fun.
Meredith Brough (00:30:07) - I hope that you appreciated my advice on how to become a good coach, how to really connect with your clients, how to become a mentor to mamas where you're really, really inspiring them and lifting them and giving them hope and connecting heart to heart. I promise that you're going to find more success if you work on your coaching skills and you coach from the heart, there'll be more referrals, more success stories, more testimonials that are heartfelt. And this will really inspire people to want to work with you. I hope you learned something new today. Or even better. I hope you're feeling good about yourself and your coaching abilities. I hope you took note of what you're doing well in supporting others. Please let me know what was helpful in today's episode and something you're proud of in your coaching abilities. Leave a comment on Apple. Send me a DM on Instagram or an email. You'll find the links in the show notes. I'd like to invite you to follow me on Instagram. Soon I'll be sharing a free resource called Cash Flow on Cruise Control in five steps.
Meredith Brough (00:31:15) - So look for that. Look for me on @Sweet Slumber Time and keep an eye out for the resource. And thank you for spending time with me today. Until next time, I'll see you soon. Thanks for listening to the Sweet Slumber podcast. We hope you enjoyed today's show. Before you go, please leave a review and hit subscribe and have a great day!
