Men's Transformative Influence in Family Faith and Disability Ministry

Discover the often-unspoken power men wield in shaping the spiritual fabric of their families, a topic I, Tracie Corll, tackle with heartfelt insight in this episode. I delve into the striking correlations between a father's church attendance and the religious lives of their children, underscoring the enormous potential for positive influence. We also confront the societal stigmas that can dissuade men from immersing themselves in caregiving ministries, while highlighting the importance of fostering an environment that encourages their participation. Through candid stories and real-life examples, I reveal the transformative impact men can have when they step into roles within disability ministry, and the necessity for policies that ensure a safe and welcoming space for all.

Embrace the journey with me as we navigate the importance of identifying and celebrating the diverse gifts each individual brings to the table, especially within disability ministry. Overcoming fear is no small feat, but it's vital to helping individuals fulfill their calling. This episode is a clarion call to action, inviting listeners to join in fostering a ministry environment that is inclusive and empowering, allowing everyone to contribute their unique talents. The conversation doesn't end here; it's an ongoing commitment to ensure that everyone has the opportunity to engage with their faith and serve in meaningful ways. 

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:03

Hi, my name is Tracy Coral and welcome to Indispensable People. I'm a wife, mom, teacher, pastor and missionary and I believe that every person should have the opportunity to know Christ, grow in Him and serve Him with the gifts that he has given, no matter their ability. Over 65 million Americans have a disability. That's 25% of the population. However, over 80% of them are not inside the walls of our church. Let's dive into those hard topics biblical foundations, perceptions and world-changing ideas. Hello and welcome to Indispensable People. It is episode 27 and we are excited to share this topic with you.

Speaker 1: 0:58

Hold on hold on men, specifically men in ministry, men in disability, ministry men and their impact on their family. So just recently I was reading an article from. It's called Theology for People and it is by Nick Caddy, and it's the impact on kids of dad's faith and church attendance. So first of all, I hear this crazy statistic, which I did not know, but Father's Day is the holiday with the single lowest average church attendance, lower than Labor Day, memorial Day and even the 4th of July. Here's the flip side Mother's Day is one of the most highly attended Sundays of the year. What in the world does that tell us? Well, here's a quote from Scott McConnell from Lifeway, who says clearly mothers want to be present for the affirmation that is typically offered in most churches, but families are also present, knowing their attendance will honor their mother. The attendance difference between Mother's Day and Father's Day is telling. Either churches are less effective in affirming fathers or families believe Christian fathers don't value their participation in worship service Ouch. So here's something that we need to take into consideration. You're thinking we're talking about disability ministry. We're not talking about dads and how fathers impact their families and the church and all of that kind of stuff, but we are, because men have an incredible impact on the people they surround.

Speaker 1: 3:02

Here's some interesting statistics. Okay, if a father does not go to church, even if the wife does, only one in 50 children will become a regular worshiper. If a father does go regular, regardless if the mom goes or not, between two thirds and three quarters of their children will attend church as adults. If the father attends church irregularly, the kids will also tend to attend irregularly. So there is an impact. Another study showed that when both parents attend Bible study in addition to a Sunday service, 72% of their children attend. When only the father attends Sunday school, 55% of the children attend when they're grown. When only the mother attends Sunday school. Listen, 15% of the children attend when they're grown. This is fascinating, fascinating. So why is this important? Wait, wait, wait. I missed a really crazy statistic. So if someone in a household becomes a Christian, there is a 3.5% probability that everyone else in the household will follow. If the mom is the first to become a Christian, there's 17% chance that everyone else in the house will follow. However, if the father is the first to believe, there's a 93% probability that everyone else in the household will follow.

Speaker 1: 5:01

That is mind-blowing, and what I want to say to you is that that impact that a man can make on his own family translates when a man serves in ministry, especially disability ministry or kids ministry. The impact is huge. Men may think I don't need the church, but by these statistics, let me tell you the church needs those men. They are gain changers, they are life changers, they are impactors for eternity. And it shows the statistic shows how much it changes. And so when we take a step into disability ministry, there are a lot of things that make men step aside and they'll say things like women take more of that caregiver role. We have things in society. Now that causes the difference of how men are seen providing different care needs than women. In a setting like that, However, every ministry, regardless if it's a disability ministry, a kids ministry, a youth ministry, whatever has policies and procedures that are put in place to protect their volunteers.

Speaker 1: 6:38

Some go as far as saying men can't change diapers in the infant room at church. Others just go as far as there always has to be two individuals and they might say that they can't be related, so they can't be husband and wife, or they can't be, you know, father and son or father and daughter to provide safety nets. So I don't necessarily see that being a stopping point if you have the proper policies and procedures in place to provide those cares and care needs. And fathers do nurture. They do it in a different way than moms, but that doesn't mean that they aren't capable of it or that they can't do it.

Speaker 1: 7:30

And I don't know about you, but I live in a house with a man who can handle medical things better than I can. He is the one who takes the emergency room trips and I take care of the other kids when he goes. If it's something that we both don't have to be a part of he handles. Listen, when it comes to the stomach bug and things that happen when you get the stomach bug, if my husband is here he's the one that's handling it, so it's not an all across the board kind of thing. So I don't want men, first of all, to think that's not my role. Second of all, in the statistics that it shows what men, how men, impact their families, you tell me that doesn't translate in the rest of ministry, so what they can do and what happens when they come full on in changes lives.

Speaker 1: 8:44

Men are needed, so my husband and I coordinate a week long summer camp and part of the challenge is getting volunteers and the biggest challenge is finding men who will willingly volunteer. Part of our policies for our ministry is that women serve with women and men serve with men, and that provides a layer of safety. But every year we're always looking for more men to serve and I also understand that there are other things that come along with that where maybe the manager provider and taking off work is not an option. There's all kinds of other reasons why men may or may not participate, but the biggest one that I hear is the comfort level that men have in serving and providing those care needs for people who may need things in the restroom, who may need guidance, direction, help in, you know, hey, go ahead and put your socks on, get your shirt, you know whatever, whenever they're in the shower. Hey, do you wash your hair? You know that kind of thing. However, that is first of all I always say to people.

Speaker 1: 10:11

Whenever you're thinking about the care needs that you have to provide for someone else, let's just say, for instance, no one really wants to do all those care needs for someone else. It's really not like I get to give somebody a shower today, nobody's, you know, out there celebrating their excitement for that type of thing. It's just what has to be done and it may help or bother someone Now we're talking things that aren't going to happen in your church, but I think sometimes that's what men's minds go to. They go to the worst possible thing that they might have to do. And here's the thing you me, my neighbor next door, my family, whoever were all one health event or car accident or whatever away from someone needing to provide those care needs to us.

Speaker 1: 11:11

I had that experience whenever I had COVID and I was on a ventilator. When I came home, my husband had to practically do everything for me the first night that I came home. I hadn't been showered or cleaned in two weeks, and so I sat like a wet noodle in it's kind of a funny story because we didn't have a shower chair or anything. So my husband went and got the you know the wicker chair from outside that was covered in snow and that's what I had to sit in while he took care of me in the shower.

Speaker 1: 11:48

Nobody wants to do all of those things, right? It's not? You know, like I said before, it's not the celebration Woohoo, I get to help somebody in the bathroom. It's just real life things that need to happen. And Again, the church isn't going to incur. You know, they're not giving showers or dressing people and all that other kind of stuff. However, there might need to be assistants in the restroom or things like that. So how do you get over that? How do you take that leap, that jump? And I honestly really think, if you go, if it were me, what would I want someone to do? How would I want someone to feel about it? How would I want someone to react when I asked for their help? If it were me?

Speaker 1: 12:37

I think that is a game changer and I think once we get over the caring and nurturing part of it and saying that you know that's not a man's thing, baloney again. Women and men don't do everything the same, and God created it to be that way. However, men are fathers. Men participate in things that with their children that require them to handle some of those things, so it can transfer into if it's a need and somebody needs it, and this is how they're going to be able to hear about Jesus. Experience Jesus, serve God. Then you know what. I can put myself in a place of discomfort and I can get past the awkwardness of what it might feel like so that I can serve, because, again, like I said to you, the statistics that we saw in the beginning changes everything. So here's what I'm saying we need men and we need men as a part of the disability ministry. So how does that look on a regular basis? Well, let me just tell you how it looks for me.

Speaker 1: 14:01

With any volunteer, a lot of times I will personally invite people to become involved. I will share with them how I see something in them that I think would be a great impact for the disability ministry. Now, with that at times comes a lot of nerves and concerns and I don't know if I can do that. And so then comes an invite hey, just come and see. Hey, you know what, if you're really good at running sound, will you run sound for this event at my disability ministry thing? Or you don't have to be the buddy or the caregiver, but what if you started in a different role? That's one step. It's one step closer to seeing what God could do within a ministry, which then opens the door for a willingness, or breaks down those barriers of fear, fear of the unknown, where then that man can step into a bigger role.

Speaker 1: 15:05

I've done this with many volunteers. There's a few that it didn't work out with, and that's okay because, again, god has a plan and a purpose for every life and he has a sweet spot for every person to serve. And sometimes that's not it. But let's not do, let's not skip out on that sermon because we're afraid, because that is not God tailoring your giftings to what he's called you to, that's you allowing fear to take over your choices. So open the door, provide opportunities that may feel less risky, that might feel more comfortable, and then open the door little by little to help them to experience and break down the barrier of the fear of the unknown Because, again, men have such influence, there is such an impact and we need it within our disability ministries.

Speaker 1: 16:16

Do I know everything about disability ministry? Do I have all the answers? Have I done everything perfectly? I have absolutely not, but we are gonna continue this conversation so that people of all abilities can have the opportunity to know Christ, grow in him and serve him with the gifts that he has given them. So join us on our next episode, episode four, where we're gonna talk about putting people in boxes. Crescent of the amored debates by Jeff 조od天, programs you.