[00:00:00] Monica: Welcome friend. The thing I love most about yoga is the effect that it has on our minds, and I can honestly say that the mental side of yoga has been life changing for me. And today I'll be sharing two secrets to a happier mind. Before we dive into today's episode, let's take a long, slow exhale.
[00:01:28] Now the information I share in this episode is for entertainment purposes, and it's not medical advice. It's always best to seek advice from your doctor or mental health professional before you start yoga or meditation. The main reason I started yoga was to feel better, physically and mentally. I used to have a lot of muscle tension, I used to get a lot of tension headaches, I was just very tight and stressed when I first started yoga.
[00:01:59] And although I was feeling better physically, I kept coming back because I loved how I felt mentally. For the first time in my life I could find that place of peace and calm at the end of a yoga class, and for me that was addictive. So like you, I have a busy mind. I have a constant narrative or chatter going on in my head.
[00:02:22] Sometimes I'm narrating to myself what I'm doing. Often I'm repeating past conversations, especially going over the things that I wish I'd said in hindsight. Sometimes I have silly songs stuck in my head. Often I'm telling myself about all the things that could possibly go wrong, and sometimes I'm criticizing myself and beating myself up.
[00:02:46] So I know what it's like to have a noisy, busy mind that won't shut up. Now, most people associate yoga with flexibility, but yoga's been around for a thousand years and was originally devised as a process to calm the mind. And according to the Yoga Sutras, the purpose of yoga is citta vritta nirodhah, or stilling the fluctuations of the mind.
[00:03:13] And it just so happens that we use our body and breath as tools to calm the mind. So if you have a busy mind too, you're not the only one. And it's not just a modern phenomenon either. It's not because of social media or the fast pace of life. A busy mind is a human condition and most of us struggle with it from time to time.
[00:03:37] Ancient yogis struggled with a busy mind too and they devised a systematic approach to calming the mind. And think of the rungs on a ladder. With the top rung being the ultimate goal of yoga, which is to take us to that blissful state. So the process of yoga starts with the bottom rung of a ladder, and this is our attitudes and beliefs called yamas and niyamas.
[00:04:05] And there's a whole podcast episode in itself on yamas and niyamas, but suffice to say that there are a range of behaviors and attitudes that are conducive to creating the conditions for a calm mind and living our best lives. The next rung on the ladder is asana, or the physical poses. That's what most people associate with yoga.
[00:04:27] The next rung up is breath work. And in terms of a hierarchy, the breath is actually more important than the pose. If you can breathe, you can do yoga. The next step up the ladder is sensory awareness, or pratyahara. Which is really about our ability to tune into our inner space be able to detect what's going on in the inside proprioception.
[00:04:53] Then comes concentration, which is our ability to hold our focus. And we practice this in yoga when we focus on our breathing. Concentration
[00:05:06] is a precursor to a calm mind, because without the ability to hold our focus, we're not able to sustain our attention for long periods of time. Above concentration is meditation, and meditation is the ability to rest our mind on an object of focus for sustained periods of time, so that we can go beyond our ordinary thinking and into a deeper state of mind.
[00:05:34] And the final stage of yoga, the top rung on the ladder, is Samadhi, or the bliss that arises when we still the movements of the mind. Basically, we're alert and awake, yet we have no thoughts. And this is an experience that's really hard to describe, it's something that you need to experience for yourself, but it feels really still, it feels really peaceful, it feels really blissful.
[00:06:05] So when we view yoga in terms of these rungs on the ladder, more than half the yoga ladder is mental. So this episode today is about two mental secrets I learned that were a massive paradigm shift for me, meaning that I had a completely new perspective on my mind and how it functions. And the first teaching of yoga is this, we are not our thoughts, we are not our minds.
[00:06:34] And I used to hear this statement in a yoga class a number of times, but it took a while to sink in. Or maybe I just wasn't ready to hear it. You know how you have to hear something, or sometimes you hear something a hundred times and it's the hundred and first time that it finally sinks in? Well this is something for me that I'd heard a lot before, but it really took a while to get it.
[00:06:59] Yoga teachers might have said it in class, but maybe it was out of context, or it wasn't explained in a way that was understandable to me at the time. And I'm a big explainer. For me to get something, I need to understand the how and the why. We are not our thoughts, we are not our minds. Now, for most of my life, I believed that my thoughts were who I am.
[00:07:23] It was my thoughts that made me uniquely me. So hearing this statement that, we're not our thoughts, we're not our mind, kind of rubbed me up the wrong way, if I'm to be honest. I placed a lot of importance on my thoughts and my mind, and I didn't want to give it up. I believed that I was the sum total of my thoughts.
[00:07:44] And in hindsight, this was my ego talking. But I didn't really know what the ego was either, and I just thought the ego was someone who was arrogant. So it makes us wonder if I'm not my thoughts, who am I? yoga has the answer to that. At our core, yogis believe that we are pure conscious awareness that our true essence is consciousness.
[00:08:10] And yogi's call this admin and this consciousness is wrapped in many layers or ous. Kind of like the layers of an onion where we need to peel it back, peel it back until we get to the core. The innermost layers are mental, then we have the emotional layer, and the outer layer is our physical body.
[00:08:33] Basically we're consciousness wrapped in flesh, and the system of yoga helps us to find and connect with our true selves by clearing the physical, emotional, and mental layers that obscure Our pure self. It's like a cosmic game of hide and seek according to philosopher Alan Watts. Now here's a key point.
[00:08:57] Thoughts aren't consciousness. Thoughts are happenings within our consciousness. They are occurrences in our consciousness. So imagine consciousness to be an infinite field of pure awareness and everything that's ever happened to us or ever will happen to us happens within this field of awareness.
[00:09:22] Thoughts and feelings are happenings and imagine that consciousness is the container in which all of these happenings take place. Our thoughts come and go. And we can't stop ourselves from thinking. Thoughts are a sign of life, they're the involuntary pulse of the mind, but the container or the space in which our thoughts take place, that remains unchanging.
[00:09:52] And here's a really useful metaphor to understand this. Imagine watching a play in a theatre. And the actors are on the stage, they come and go, they act out different dramas. Consciousness is the stage on which the play of life takes place. The stage is always there, unchanging. The actors come and go, the play comes and goes, the stage remains unchanging.
[00:10:24] And sometimes we can get so caught up in our thoughts that we mistake them for who we are. We think that we are our thoughts. We don't realize that there's more to us than our thoughts. And when we're able to step back from our thoughts and experience the space in which our thoughts take place, we immediately feel a sense of relief.
[00:10:48] We connect back to our fundamental nature, which is consciousness. And that can be incredibly calming for the mind. Especially in times of stress. That's why meditation is so popular because it takes us to that place beyond our ordinary thoughts. And once I learned how to step back from my thoughts and recognize that I'm not my thoughts, and my thoughts are just objects or happenings within my field of awareness.
[00:11:21] I felt an immediate sense of peace.
[00:11:24] We Are Not Our Thoughts is more than a powerful reframe, it unlocks the door to one of life's greatest mysteries, our minds. And I'm so lucky to have found that key and to be able to share that with others. Becoming the witness or observer of our thoughts doesn't just help us feel better, it's a powerful perspective to maintain in everyday life too.
[00:11:50] When I'm operating out of witness consciousness, when I'm the observer of my thoughts, I make much better decisions. I'm in greater control over my thoughts and feelings. I'm much more observant, less reactive, and more effective in all areas of my life. But even more important to me, I'm much more present with my loved ones.
[00:12:15] Because I'm not lost in my own thoughts, I can really be there for others, because I'm not stuck in my head. Now here's a really simple exercise to experience this for yourself. But if you're driving or out and about right now, please skip this exercise until you're at home. So sit comfortably and close your eyes.
[00:12:38] And take a couple of slow, deep exhales.
[00:12:58] Now turn your gaze to the back of your eyelids, and just notice what you see with your eyes closed.
[00:13:17] Notice any sounds that you can hear,
[00:13:22] listening to everything going on in your environment.
[00:13:33] And notice what you feel in the body,
[00:13:39] feel what you're sitting on,
[00:13:43] feel your clothes on your skin,
[00:13:51] feel the air on your skin, and
[00:14:02] feel your breath flow in and out of the nostrils.
[00:14:16] Now notice what's on your mind.
[00:14:25] Notice yourself having thoughts.
[00:14:34] Observe your self thinking.
[00:14:43] It's as if you were watching a play. Your thoughts are playing out on the stage while you sit back and observe. Notice
[00:14:55] the story, the narrative.
[00:15:02] Try not to get too involved in any particular thought. Let the thoughts unfold as you become the observer of your thoughts. As
[00:15:23] you watch your self thinking.
[00:15:41] And as you watch the thoughts come and go. There might be a theme, or maybe your thoughts are random.
[00:15:54] Now notice, who is watching the thoughts? Try
[00:16:04] to make the distinction between yourself having thoughts, and yourself watching the thoughts.
[00:16:17] See your thoughts in the foreground, and yourself watching in the background.
[00:16:29] Notice there are two things taking place here.
[00:16:36] Part of you that's thinking thoughts. And the other part of you that's watching yourself think your thoughts.
[00:16:45] Try to connect to this observer, the
[00:16:54] witness.
[00:16:56] Try to connect to the part of you that's always there in the background watching, observing, witnessing.
[00:17:20] This is your awareness, this is your consciousness.
[00:17:28] Our thoughts are just happenings or occurrences within our awareness.
[00:17:40] And if we can watch ourselves think, then we know that there's more to us than our thoughts.
[00:17:51] If our thoughts were the only thing, we wouldn't be able to observe them.
[00:17:55] So that's a really simple exercise to practice stepping back from our thoughts, to step into that observer or witness consciousness. It's a really powerful tool to be able to do in the moment when we're feeling stressed, when we're feeling overwhelmed by the contents of our minds. Now the second secret to a much happier mind.
[00:18:22] Is that our thoughts aren't always true. Sometimes our thoughts are true. Sometimes our thoughts are a partial truth. But very often our thoughts are plain wrong.
[00:18:38] Sometimes we lie to ourselves.
[00:18:42] And the problem is that we tend to believe what we think. And we try to understand ourselves and the world through the filter of our mind and our thoughts. And so we believe all the shitty things we tell ourselves, and we feel terrible when we believe all of those negative things we say to ourselves.
[00:19:03] And our mind isn't designed for our happiness, in fact it has a negativity bias, which means we often perceive positive or neutral situations through a negative lens. And no one knows how many thoughts we have in a day, but some estimate it to be around 80, 000. And if most of those 80, 000 thoughts are negative or untrue, it's no wonder we feel bad.
[00:19:34] This secret that our thoughts aren't true can give us a whole new perspective on our inner workings. And a change in perspective can be a real turning point for breaking the habit of negative thinking. Our thoughts aren't the truth, at best they're the partial truth, at worst they're wrong. And we regularly think things that aren't true.
[00:20:00] We make assumptions about other people's behaviour. We leap to conclusions. We think that other people's behavior is a reflection of what they think of us. And we can fall into negative spirals in some really dark places when we keep believing the things that aren't true. And if you've ever planned for the worst case scenario only to find out that things turned out better than expected, you'll know for a fact that our thoughts aren't always true.
[00:20:30] And when we realize that our thoughts aren't always true, we can take some of our negative thoughts with a grain of salt and challenge their truth. It took me a long time to realize that I suffered from continuous negative thought. It's like an addiction that I didn't realize I had. And if we know that our thoughts aren't true and that sometimes they're actually lies, then we can see them for what they are.
[00:20:57] Just happenings within our awareness. And many of us have a voice in our head constantly talking. It's not a modern problem either. The ancient yogis recognized that this constant inner chatter was a cause of suffering. And the whole system of yoga and meditation is designed to quiet the internal conversation.
[00:21:22] If we pay attention, we realize that the inner voice is talking all the time. And if we allow it, it will talk non stop. Most of that internal chatter is random and meaningless, but for some people it can be negative and really critical. And this is a problem because our inner self talk affects how we feel.
[00:21:44] And we might be having 80, 000 of these negative thoughts that are influencing our mood, influencing our behavior, and we have no idea that's what's going on. We have no idea that's what's causing us to feel so bad. And this inner narrative, the part of us that's talking non stop, it's constantly seeking stimulation or entertainment.
[00:22:08] It likes to ruminate on past events and conversations, making us relive it in our minds. Always thinking about the past or the future. And our inner voice can be really self critical and judgmental. It's the cause of much of our suffering, stress and anxiety. But we don't realize it because we're so used to it.
[00:22:31] We've become accustomed to this constant negative chatter. And here's the thing. Our nervous system is always spying on our thoughts, and will assume that our thoughts are true. Our nervous system can go into fight or flight mode just from our thoughts alone, even if those thoughts aren't true. So we can create a whole lot of stress and anxiety just from thoughts.
[00:22:58] And that's why it's so important to be aware of our thoughts, and yoga and meditation are the tools that I know of to build this self awareness. The way to free ourselves from this constant chatter is to step back from thinking and become the observer or the witness of our thoughts and feelings. And when we connect with that awareness we can see ourselves experiencing these thoughts but we also realise that we are not our thoughts.
[00:23:27] We are the one who watches, observes and listens to our thoughts. And when we step back and become the observer of our experience, we can create some distance or space between the problem and the one, the us, who is experiencing the problem. And this ability to step back from our problem means that we're no longer lost in our thoughts or overwhelmed by our problems.
[00:23:52] We have some mental space and perspective, and this is where we can find some mental freedom. Resting in this place of awareness is where our yoga and meditation practice takes us, and the Yoga Sutras describe the purpose of yoga to still the movements of the mind. And this stillness is achieved when we go beyond ordinary thinking and experience this pure conscious awareness.
[00:24:20] And over time, the awareness that we generate in our yoga practice permeates its way into our day to day life. We can use this awareness to become aware of what we're thinking about. And if we don't like what we're thinking about, or if we don't like how it makes us feel, we can choose different thoughts.
[00:24:40] Just like changing the radio station, we can step back and choose a different thought. And regular yoga and meditation gives us this ability. Next time you catch yourself in a bad mood or you're feeling anxious or stressed, Notice what you're thinking about. Become aware of your thoughts in the moment.
[00:25:01] And often, a seemingly small thing can cause enormous mental chatter, and if left to its own devices, that negative chatter can make us feel terrible. When we catch ourselves feeling bad, we can immediately become aware of our thoughts, and choose to step back from those thoughts and into the place of awareness.
[00:25:22] Instead of being overwhelmed by our thoughts and feelings, we can become the observer. And this gives us space from our negative experience. This gives us perspective. It gives us choice. for example, if we have an argument with someone and we feel upset, we can go into a negative thought patterns like, they always do this, or they never do that, or things will never change with them.
[00:25:49] And these thoughts cause us to feel bad, and when we feel bad, we create more negative thoughts. And a simple argument can ruin our day or our week. And we can notice that we feel upset after that argument, we can step back and become aware of our dialogue, our inner dialogue. And if we realize that our thoughts are unhelpful or perpetuating this negativity, we can choose more resourceful thoughts.
[00:26:17] Instead of focusing on all the things that person's done to upset us, we can shift our focus to the positive things. And this can bring us to a more neutral state, and when we're feeling neutral, we can then approach the person and discuss our concerns in a more balanced way. Being more aware gives us choice.
[00:26:37] Choice in how we respond to life so that we become less reactive.
[00:26:41] And often when we're unhappy or upset, we look to our external circumstances and we try to fix them. We might resolve the problem, but then another similar problem occurs. We try to control other people or external events in an attempt to feel better, but it doesn't work. A different approach is to pay attention to our internal environment, because this is something that we can change.
[00:27:09] If we feel bad, stressed, or anxious, we might try to blame someone or something for our upset, or look for an external cause for why we feel bad. But it's our response to external events that causes us to feel bad. And our inner voice can make things much, much worse for us if we allow it. A minor upset can turn into a major drama if we allow our inner voice to take over.
[00:27:38] And it's possible to change our relationship with our mind. and create some space from our inner chatter. It's possible to choose what we pay attention to. And rather than being lost in thought, or being victimized by our thoughts, we can step back and become the observer. And this is why I love yoga so much.
[00:27:59] It's changed my mind for the better. I'm a completely different person now that I know how to manage my mind. And if you want yoga that actually calms the mind, then you'll love our yoga studio. Beginners and older people aren't intimidated by our classes because we focus on the basics. We don't do the splits or stand on our heads.
[00:28:22] We just do simple movement, breathing, and somatic practices to help you find that quiet place behind your thoughts. We don't care what you look like, we're more interested in how you feel on the inside. And you don't need to lose weight or get fit to start with us because we have clients of all shapes, sizes, and abilities in our class.
[00:28:43] Most of our clients are over 50, and our clients start with us because they have aches and pains or they want to sleep better. But the reason they come back every week is because they think better and they're feeling calm. They think better, they feel better, they sleep better, they live better with regular yoga.
[00:29:05] And you can too. Now we're going to finish this episode with a beautiful meditation to help you to connect with this place of conscious awareness. You can do this sitting down or lying down. If you're driving, keep your eyes on the road and don't do this exercise until you're safe at home.
[00:29:27] to get nice and comfortable
[00:29:33] and bring your attention to your breath
[00:29:41] observe the flow of breath in and out of your body
[00:29:53] and just breathing your natural breath here
[00:29:57] now bring your attention to your exhale
[00:30:05] follow your exhale from start to end and
[00:30:12] notice the point at the end of the exhale Before you start your next breath, there's a small space,
[00:30:31] there's a brief pause at the end of the exhale before your next breath starts. Focus your attention on that space.
[00:30:52] And we're not holding the breath or changing the breath here.
[00:30:58] Just paying attention to the subtleties of the breath. Noticing that natural pause at the end of the exhale before you start your next breath.
[00:31:21] And as you notice this pause at the end of the exhale, Feel this brief moment of stillness. And there's no movement, no breath, just stillness and space. Rest your attention there.
[00:31:53] And that space between breaths, that still point, is like a doorway. It's going to take us to our center.
[00:32:08] Now from your center, turn your attention to your mind.
[00:32:12] Observe the flow of thoughts through your mind.
[00:32:20] Observe yourself having thought.
[00:32:34] Now pick an individual thought, and watch that thought from start to end.
[00:32:40] Watch the next thought from start to end.
[00:32:52] Watch the chain of thoughts unfold.
[00:32:55] As one thought ends, the next one begins, and so on and so on.
[00:33:11] Watch this chain of thought unfold.
[00:33:37] And as you watch a thought all the way to the end, there's a tiny gap before the next thought begins. Watch the next thought all the way until the end. Notice when the thought ends. Notice the tiny gap before the next thought begins.
[00:34:04] Between each and every thought, there's a brief moment of space. Try to locate that space in between thoughts,
[00:34:15] and that space, that brief moment, might only be a millisecond.
[00:34:25] Turn your attention to the space between thoughts.
[00:34:54] Turn your attention to the space around your thoughts.
[00:35:13] And become aware of the space within which your thoughts take place.
[00:35:17] Try to sense the space in which your thoughts take place.
[00:35:40] Notice how vast and expansive it is.
[00:35:43] Feel how expansive this space really is,
[00:36:06] and notice how your thoughts are just objects or happenings within this space,
[00:36:13] and when we connect with this space, we're connecting with pure conscious awareness,
[00:36:36] with consciousness becoming aware of itself, and it's incredibly calming for the mind.
[00:36:47] It's a beautiful experience.
[00:36:52] And this is where I'll leave you. Till next time.
