[00:00:00] Monica: Welcome, friend. Today's episode is all about gratitude, and what it does for our brain, our mood, and our health. I wasn't always into gratitude, in fact I used to roll my eyes at it, but now that I understand the science of it, it's become a daily practice. And before we dive into today's episode, let's take a long, slow exhale together.
[00:01:27] Now the information I share in this episode is for entertainment purposes and it's not medical advice. It's always best to speak to your doctor or mental health professional. Also this episode contains a little bit of swearing so best not to listen to it if little people are around. Now I used to roll my eyes when yoga teachers preached about gratitude.
[00:01:51] Gratitude was never really my thing. I'm not the kind of person who wakes in the morning and goes, wow, I'm grateful to be alive. And for decades, I'd heard about this thing called gratitude, but I thought it was just a form of spiritual bypassing or a way of sugarcoating our problems. I didn't resonate with it, I didn't understand how to do it, and I didn't understand the science behind it.
[00:02:16] But gratitude found me in my darkest moment, and since then I've become a big fan. Some of you know a little bit about my story, but a few years back I was going through the darkest time of my life. I was mid divorce, I had breast cancer, and my dad was dying of cancer. On top of that, I was trying to sell my house, run a successful business, and desperately trying not to fall apart.
[00:02:43] I would usually wake up in the morning with dread about what my day would bring and everything felt out of control and hard. But I remember vividly opening my eyes one morning and staring at the ceiling and thinking to myself, at least I have a roof over my head and a comfy bed to sleep in. Everything else might be fucked, but at least I had that.
[00:03:10] And I sensed a profound gratitude for being supported by my bed and the roof over my head. I had a thousand problems, and some of them were pretty serious, but I was suddenly so grateful that I didn't have to worry about a roof over my head or where I was going to sleep. And that's when things changed for me.
[00:03:30] When life goes to shit, we tend to focus on all the things that are going wrong, and this only makes us feel worse. But if we can find one small thing that's going right... Like a comfy bed to sleep in, and focus on that, it can shift our mood, can shift our state of mind, and apparently does wonders for our health.
[00:03:54] Research shows that expressing and feeling gratitude improves our sleep, lowers our blood pressure and heart rate. decreases our stress, boosts our mood and improves our physical health and immune function. Maintaining an attitude of gratitude releases feel good chemicals in the brain which improve our mood and help us to be more optimistic and positive.
[00:04:23] Robert Emmons, a well known mental health specialist, conducted several studies on stress and health which indicated that gratitude effectively reduces stress hormones and increases positive emotions like happiness. And a regular gratitude practice can really help to reduce negative emotions. Reduce our stress and feel more positive and optimistic about life.
[00:04:50] So there's clearly a good reason to adopt an attitude of gratitude, but what I find really interesting is the effect of gratitude on our brain. So our brains are wired for survival, not for our happiness. This means we have an inherent negativity bias. Our brain is programmed by default to look for the negative, to look for the problems, to look for what's going wrong.
[00:05:18] We have a greater propensity for negativity than positivity, and that's just how our brain is wired. And this is really great at keeping us safe from danger, but it's not so great for our mood and mental health. So basically we have default program running where our brain is looking at things through a negative lens.
[00:05:38] With the intention of keeping us safe. And if we perceive everything as negative or problematic, it can cause us to feel fearful, anxious, worried, overwhelmed. And then we invoke the fight or flight response of our nervous system. And when we go into that fight or flight response, we get all those stress hormones in our bloodstream.
[00:05:58] Then our amygdala, the fear center of our brain kicks in, which makes our thoughts even more negative. And we can go on a negative spiral for days, weeks, or even months. Now our brain has the capacity to change. This is called neuroplasticity, where our neurons or our brain cells form new neural pathways.
[00:06:18] And one of the best ways to consciously alter our neural connections is through repetition and positive emotion. The brain cells that fire together, wire together. So when we repeat a regular thought, and that thought is fused with a strong positive emotion, it reinforces that neural connection. And gratitude can interrupt those old patterns and pathways by deliberately choosing to focus on something positive.
[00:06:48] Rather than going on a negative spiral, rather than going down those old, worn pathways that lead to negativity, fear and anxiety, we can consciously engage with a grateful thought, and a bunch of neurotransmitters are released in our brain and bloodstream. Serotonin causes us to feel happy, dopamine gives us a reward and helps us feel satisfied, and oxytocin helps us to feel love and connection.
[00:07:15] So when we focus on something in our life that we're grateful for, and we actually feel the corresponding feelings of gratitude, you know, like get the warm and fuzzies, we get a smile on our face, feel positive and uplifted, that means a chemical change has taken place. We've literally changed our inner state.
[00:07:34] And these chemicals act like fertilizers and reinforce or myelinate those new neural connections, which has a positive effect on how we think and feel. And the stronger those new neural connections are, start to become our default, and those old negative patterns begin to atrophy or dissolve. So when a new neural connection is made, it requires protein or energy to myelinate that connection.
[00:08:03] And that's like wrapping it in a protective sheath or insulation. And the more emotional charge associated with that connection, the more energy or protein is available to insulate or protect that connection. So repetition reinforces the connection and the strong positive emotion really helps to insulate that connection, so it becomes our default pattern by habit.
[00:08:28] By consciously practicing gratitude, we can train our brain to attend selectively to positive emotions and thoughts. And this can help us to overcome anxiety and feelings of worry and overwhelm and negativity. It's really cool when you understand how gratitude can change our brain. Now, a lot of people think that gratitude is just a mental exercise.
[00:08:53] They just think of a couple of things that they're grateful for, or maybe they write it down in their journal. But to experience the neurochemicals of gratitude and to change our brain, we need to feel it. We need to have heart. We can't just say, Oh, I'm grateful for my family, or I'm grateful for my dog.
[00:09:12] We actually have to really tune into it and feel the sensations of gratitude in our body. And sometimes we have to manufacture those feelings just initially to, to get ourselves into that mode. But after a few times of sort of faking it till you make it, the gratitude becomes genuine. We train our brain to experience those positive emotions, which in turn releases all of those neurochemicals in our brain.
[00:09:41] another really cool thing about gratitude is that it can improve our relationships with others and also ourselves. So if we're having relationship problems or there's someone in our life that we're having conflict with, it's all too easy to focus on the other person's negative traits, or the things that really annoy us about them, or all the things that they've done wrong.
[00:10:04] And when we focus on those negative traits, we can build resentment and bitterness, which is not great for that relationship. But we can change that by focusing on their positive traits. Focusing on the things that we really appreciate about them. Focusing on the good things that they do. And by a funny quirk of our mind called the reticular activation system, we'll actually start to notice more and more of their positive traits.
[00:10:32] And as we focus more on their positive traits, it can transmute our resentment for them, which is always a good thing. And when we're feeling more positive towards somebody, we're much more likely to get along with them.
[00:10:46] And gratitude also works in our relationship with ourselves. We can focus on some of the positive traits of our personality, or the things about us that make us unique or special. Maybe you've got great hair, maybe you're really funny and witty, maybe you have a really unique perspective on things. we can also practice gratitude for the things that we've achieved or overcome.
[00:11:12] And again, this shifts our focus away from our problems and flaws, and focusing on the positive, on the good. This is changing those neural connections, we're redirecting our focus away from the negative, so we're no longer going down those negative spirals, those negative pathways. We're choosing a new way of thinking and feeling, choosing to focus on the positive.
[00:11:38] And this brings a lot more balance to our relationships with others and also ourselves. And gratitude can help us to get out of the stress response, which means we think and feel better. And when we think and feel better, we're much more likely to pursue our goals and really go after them. But when we're feeling stressed or anxious, we're much more likely to feel negative, to lose motivation, to feel discouraged, which means we're less likely to pursue our goals.
[00:12:08] So here's a little scenario for you. Imagine you had a goal to achieve 10 and your starting point was 1. It doesn't matter 10 what, just imagine that the goal was 10 and the starting point was 1. And let's say you get to seven. Now, if you're annoyed at yourself for only reaching seven, and you feel like a failure, it would be unlikely that you would keep going towards your goal.
[00:12:34] You'd probably just give up and think it's too hard. But if you got to seven, and were really grateful and appreciative of how far you've come, and thought, wow, I used to be one and now I'm seven, I've come so far. Even if you're not a 10 yet, you're much more likely to keep going, much more likely to achieve your goal, much more likely to continue to do the things that are going to contribute to the achievement of your goal.
[00:13:03] And that's the role of gratitude. It gets us out of that sense of lack and negativity, brings that positivity, that optimism, which can be very motivating and inspiring. And gratitude can also prime or prepare our brain for future success. If we imagine how good it will feel to achieve our goal and invoke those feelings of gratitude now.
[00:13:28] Gratitude is a key feature of manifesting and conscious creation. And that's something that we do in our yoga alchemy program.
[00:13:37] Gratitude can help us to overcome self criticism, self judgment, and feelings of failure. And when we start showing gratitude towards ourselves, it can silence the inner critic. And really start to make some positive shifts in how we feel about ourselves and how we go about our day. I start my day firstly with meditation, that's a non negotiable.
[00:14:01] But at the end of my meditation, I imagine my day ahead and I imagine it going well. And I actually visualize and I think of the things that I have to do, all the tasks, the various things, and I just watch myself go about my day. And choosing the, the attitude or the energy that I want to bring. So imagine going about my day feeling calm, relaxed, confident, getting everything done, but without feeling stress.
[00:14:28] And then I imagine getting to the end of the day and reflecting back on the day that was and feeling really grateful for myself. And then I bring myself into the feeling of gratitude, either feeling grateful for the things that I achieved that day. Or just generally feeling grateful about someone or something in my life, or even feeling gratitude towards an aspect of myself.
[00:14:52] And the important thing is to, to really feel the sensations of gratitude. So it's not a cognitive exercise of, Oh, I'm grateful for my family. I'm grateful for my friends. I'm grateful for my work, all of that kind of stuff. You want to be really specific and you want to actually create the warm and fuzzy sensations in the body in order to, to create that inner state change.
[00:15:13] And you don't have to spend hours doing it. The thing with gratitude is it can be a quick couple minute practice. But it puts me in a really good mood, and I seem to get a lot more done when I start the day with gratitude. I feel happier, I feel more positive, I feel more motivated, and I'm a lot calmer too.
[00:15:33] And gratitude's something that's had a profound effect on my yoga alchemy clients as well. They report a much greater appreciation for themselves. They report less anxiety and reactivity when they start their day with meditation and gratitude. And I really love coaching people to change their lives.
[00:15:55] And this is what we do in Yirka Alchemy. It's a 7 month transformational coaching program that will really help you to thrive after adversity, turn your wounds into wisdom, and change your relationship. with yourself. Now, we don't actually start until mid 2024, but if you join the waitlist, you can save 500 off the price.
[00:16:17] And there's no obligation to sign up if you join the waitlist. It's just that I'll open enrollments to you first. So you're probably wondering, well, how do I actually go about feeling gratitude? So I've got a little practice for you now and remember to focus on the feeling. So get nice and comfortable, either sitting down or lying down.
[00:16:44] And if it feels okay, you can close your eyes, or otherwise just gaze at a point on the wall or the floor.
[00:16:49] And take a couple of slow exhales to really ground yourself.
[00:16:58] Now pay attention to all the different sounds you can hear. Not just my voice, but the sounds around you too.
[00:17:26] Pay attention to what you can see. So if your eyes are closed, you're just gazing at the back of your eyelids. And if your eyes are open, notice what's within your field of view.
[00:17:36] Bring your attention to the sensations in your body.
[00:17:50] Feel the ground beneath you.
[00:17:57] Feel your clothes on your skin.
[00:18:03] Feel the air on your skin.
[00:18:10] And feel your breath flow in and out of your nostrils.
[00:18:19] Notice if there's anything you can smell. Is there a scent in the air, or is it neutral?
[00:18:39] And become aware of any residual taste in your mouth.
[00:18:50] Now bring your awareness to all five senses simultaneously. Hear, see, feel, smell, and taste.
[00:19:04] And when we become aware of all five senses at the same time, we arrive in the present moment.
[00:19:17] Now bring your awareness to your breathing.
[00:19:20] Feel your breath flow in and out of your nostrils.
[00:19:30] Feel your ribcage expand and contract with the breath.
[00:19:50] And then make your exhales twice as long as your inhales.
[00:20:08] Now bring to mind someone or something in your life for which you're grateful. It could be a person, a pet, or something else in your life. Try to get specific.
[00:20:58] Now form an image in your mind's eye. Try to see the thing that you're grateful for,
[00:21:04] and then really feel gratitude
[00:21:17] for this person, this animal, or something else in your life.
[00:21:20] Notice how much you appreciate them.
[00:21:27] You might feel love,
[00:21:33] you might feel joy, you might feel pride, or even excitement.
[00:21:45] Really feel the sensations, even if you have to manufacture them.
[00:21:52] Focus on how glad you are that this thing or person is in your life,
[00:22:04] and as you feel these sensations of gratitude, let it bring a smile to your face.
[00:22:26] Feel your facial muscles soften with your smile.
[00:22:29] Feel your shoulders and belly soften.
[00:22:44] Feel a warmth or tenderness around your heart,
[00:22:47] and imagine all the cells in your body are smiling with gratitude.
[00:23:00] Imagine all the cells in your body are buzzing or vibrating with gratitude.
[00:23:16] Imagine and feel yourself glowing with gratitude.
[00:23:31] Now contemplate one thing about yourself for which you're grateful.
[00:23:52] It could be your appearance, your personality, how you think. It could be a skill or talent or achievement. And try to visualize it and feel the feelings of gratitude in your body.
[00:24:11] Let it bring a smile to your face,
[00:24:17] feel a warmth or tenderness in your heart,
[00:24:26] and imagine all the cells in your body are grateful for you,
[00:24:38] they're smiling and cheering for you.
[00:24:44] Imagine all the cells in your body are radiating a sense of love and pride and gratitude for you,
[00:24:57] and feel that state change in your mind and body. Notice what gratitude feels like.
[00:25:08] And when you actually feel it, even if it's just for a split second, the changes are starting to take place in your brain.
[00:25:17] And the more you practice gratitude, the better you'll feel. But the important thing is to feel it rather than just think about gratitude. And at first you might need to fake it till you make it, but once you feel it, you know it's working. And gratitude can be a game changer for our mood and state of mind.
[00:25:40] It certainly was for me, and many of my clients are proof that it's never too late to change our brain and to change our lives.
[00:25:48] And if you're curious about working with me, you can join our East Brisbane Yoga Studio. Or if you want to go deep and actually change your life from the inside, then pop your name on the waitlist for Yoga Alchemy. The link's in the show notes. Until next time, my friend.
