The Calling: Follow your spirit- all the way in

034 Unlocking the Secrets of Conscious Lovemaking featuring Diana Richardson

• Homaya / Diana Richardson • Season 1 • Episode 34

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Hello beautiful people! Welcome to another episode of The Calling. I am thrilled to be here with you today. As always, our space is ignited with wonderful energy, and I am honoured to introduce our guest, Diana Richardson, a dear friend and a profound teacher in the realm of tantra and conscious lovemaking. Diana's journey is nothing short of inspiring, and I can't wait for you to hear her insights and experiences.

Summary

In this episode, we delve into the extraordinary journey of Diana Richardson, an acclaimed author and teacher of tantra. Diana shares her story, from growing up in apartheid South Africa to becoming a lawyer and eventually discovering her true passion for bodywork and tantra. She speaks about the importance of being present in the body, the power of self-massage, and how conscious lovemaking can transform our lives.

Diana emphasises the significance of awareness and presence in lovemaking, challenging conventional goal-oriented approaches. She discusses how being truly present in one's body can lead to deeper connections and more fulfilling experiences. Diana also highlights the natural differences between male and female sexual energy and the importance of giving women enough time to warm up during lovemaking.

Key Takeaways

  1. Presence and Awareness: Diana stresses the importance of being present and aware in your body. This awareness can profoundly impact your overall well-being and your relationships.
  2. Self-Massage and Body Connection: Self-massage can help you connect with your body, leading to a deeper understanding and appreciation of your physical self.
  3. Conscious Lovemaking: Shifting from a goal-oriented approach to a more conscious, present method of lovemaking can transform your sexual experiences and relationships.
  4. Differences in Sexual Energy: Recognising the differences in how men and women experience sexual energy can lead to more fulfilling and respectful intimate encounters.
  5. Trust and Relaxation: Trusting your body and relaxing into the experience rather than forcing or controlling can lead to more authentic and satisfying connections.

Diana Richardson Resource Links:
Books / Author Profile: https://www.amazon.es/stores/author/B001KDM6NA/about
Website: https://www.loveforcouples.com/en/
TedX Talk: https://www.loveforcouples.com/en/audio.html
Living Love Audio Series (Offering): https://www.loveforcouples.com/en/audio.html#interview

Homaya Resource Links:

The Calling Diana Richardson

[00:00:00] Homaya: Hello beautiful people. Welcome, welcome to another episode of The Calling. I am excited. I have a full body shivery, although of course we had a short conversation before we hit record, but now as you are in the space and the space was ignited and in the presence of Diana Richardson, a beautiful, dear friend who I walked by in different dimensions along the year.

[00:00:32] Homaya: I'm so happy to present you here. So beautiful. Diana Richardson is a well known author and a teacher for female and couples about lovemaking, tantric as art and as way of living. I so honored. I'm so honored that we are. meeting here that you are with us. 

[00:01:04] Diana Richardson: Welcome. Oh, so sweet, Homaya. Bringing tears to my eyes.

[00:01:10] Diana Richardson: It's ages since we saw each other, so it's beautiful to see you looking so

[00:01:16] Diana Richardson: Yeah. Yes, it's really my pleasure to talk on this subject with you. Honored to be invited into your podcast. And yeah, it's an interesting subject. . 

[00:01:27] Homaya: Would you share with us about this journey? 

[00:01:31] Diana Richardson: I was born in apartheid South Africa, and, which is a difficult society to be born into. Many people are brought into different societies. So I really had this impulse that I wanted to do something that would benefit people less privileged than me.

[00:01:46] Diana Richardson: So I became a lawyer, six years of university, et cetera, et cetera. But when I finally got into the courts, I just realized this wasn't me. I really wanted a life of the hands and the heart. And then I had already started, actually, when I was quite young, massaging my sister's feet, my father's back, and so on.

[00:02:03] Diana Richardson: So I just had this thing, I want to. And through, I went, I left Alaska, I went to the UK and I went to a clinic and there I was invited to come and give massage. And I had no training and the people just said to me, you know everything you need to know, just go down there, there was a written schedule.

[00:02:21] Diana Richardson: So I went down there and I could do it. And it's just, massage was just like, such a passion, still is, although I'm not teaching anymore, now I'm 70. So this would have been, I was like 27 or something, so a large part of my life. has been to do with my body and other people's bodies. So I've massaged, hundreds and hundreds of people.

[00:02:44] Diana Richardson: I often put it in kilometers, I've done thousands of kilometers. And I've also done a lot of taught a lot of people. But what also, what was really helpful for me was to get, was self massage because basically, of us don't have the are not embodied, right? So we don't really have that much connection with our bodies.

[00:03:06] Diana Richardson: And through self massage, it was like discovering this body and also realizing my body all the same. Mind might be different, emotional things, traumas might be different, but body is body. That's why you can go to an acupuncture session, like I've just come from acupuncture, and this point is the same on every single body, so through starting to recognize how this feels good or that doesn't feel so good, through massaging myself, and I've really gone from toe to scalp, over, 16 hours, many times.

[00:03:37] Diana Richardson: Then you start, the more you know your body, the more you know other bodies, because we are similar. So if this spot on me is juicy, then that spot on you is going to be juicy. And I had it verified again and again. So this gave me a lot of trust in the body. And I started to, like you said, that same body is the bridge to the inner world, to the outer world, to the out, this is our vehicle that we move around in. And at the same time, we are not very conscious in that body, particularly mechanical in that body. We have a lot of patterns and habits with the body. And all this impacts, our psychology and also our joy of the moment. So certainly for me it was a process of, Becoming more and more into my body through giving, through self massaging, and through also receiving.

[00:04:29] Diana Richardson: I've had lots and lots of different kinds of body. And so definitely, there's this Genesis song. Maybe it's, I don't know the age of your audience, but there's a Genesis song. I think it's Genesis. You've got to get in to get out. And that is absolutely the reality. With our reality is you've got to get in to get out. So many people just want to get out.

[00:04:54] Diana Richardson: Have ecstatic experiences, or altered state experiences, or things that move and touch them. But the way is through going in, and in and in, and learning how to be in. Then that expansion happens. Not through your doing it. It happens because you're in. So I'm totally fan of, you've got to get into that.

[00:05:17] Diana Richardson: But getting in, but getting into this. 

[00:05:20] Homaya: Can you get deeper? Can you, do you feel that you can go deeper around you need to get in? So in your, if I get it well from you, from my knowing from this aspect, when you say you need to get in is through the touch, through the connection. But can you massage a little bit this area of the conversation?

[00:05:45] Diana Richardson: It is the first thing when I work with people in women's groups and couples groups, the first thing is that I teach them how to go in. And so look, of course, massage and stuff makes you feel juicy and very nice, but it's To learn to anchor the awareness inside yourself, and to hold that awareness, as a, ongoing feat through your day, so you in, so it's not a from the outside, okay, you've touched and spoken to that.

[00:06:14] Diana Richardson: But so the first thing I say to people is just look inside, anywhere below the neck, head neck, and just find a place that feels like home. Now home means somewhere where you feel relaxed, somewhere where you can connect with, can be anywhere. But it's and then you make that your anchor point and you keep coming back to that anchor point.

[00:06:38] Diana Richardson: You notice your arch, you come back. And that, after time, really becomes like the ground you walk. And it sounds simplistic, but it really works. And also another thing that I'm very hot on is the midline. Most of us, when we stand or sit even, we slightly collapse. But if you can keep your midline, then You know, the body is symmetrical.

[00:07:01] Diana Richardson: Of course, it's nothing is straight or square, but it's perfectly balanced symmetrically. What's on this side? What's on that side? Now, when we connect out of our midline, we're actually out of reality. We're out of the here and now, but as soon as I come here, da When I'm available to the magnetic forces around me, they can, settle inside me.

[00:07:23] Diana Richardson: It's not something I look for, but it's something that, you're just more present, more open. So I'm constantly telling people to hold us in awareness of the midline. That means you're standing with your weight 50 50. You're not 75 25. The moment you have a conversation, 75 25. You know what I mean?

[00:07:40] Diana Richardson: With your weight over, you're not really present in that conversation. And it sounds like all of it Mickey Mouse, we can say, but it's silly. But if you try it, you have a conversation, even with your dearly beloved, with your weight tilted over, 75 25, then you have the same conversation in 50 50.

[00:07:59] Diana Richardson: It's a different conversation. You're much more authentic. Much more natural. You're not so judgmental. You're also not so easily knocked off. So because I, you the main thrust of my teaching is about lovemaking. That this is very important. The midline and the inner home. What I call the home point, the anchor point.

[00:08:19] Diana Richardson: Because, how we are imprinted or conditioned as far as sex goes. Because unconsciously, through the society, We have adopted certain behaviors. It's not ours. It's something that we've adopted. So one of the things is that when you get together with a person, with a partner, this one's attention is on, the attentions are crossed over.

[00:08:42] Diana Richardson: My attention's on my partner's attention's on me. So there's nobody really home. There's nobody really in their body present. So that's why that whole thing we have to invert. That thing that goes out, turn it around, invert it. Now, that immediately brings a We are making love with our bodies.

[00:09:04] Diana Richardson: So you need to be present in your body. So that is, and the more you do that, the easier it becomes. And, 

[00:09:11] Homaya: This is such a beautiful definition. How sweet. Yes, because it's like, the consensus we can say is the entire attitude is that making love is to each other or with each other. And it almost All relationships, there's so much give and take attitude.

[00:09:32] Homaya: The survival attitude is just kidnapping even those areas of love and lovemaking and connection and intimacy, while the remembrance of the self in the unity, is one of the things that makes the unity. And as you are describing it through the body is really, it's, it moves me even to listen. It is, it's a revolution, I would say.

[00:09:58] Diana Richardson: We always say you are, the individual is the priority. And because like you said, the sense of self, that's, really beautiful way of putting it. And people think, oh, that's selfish or egotistical, but it's not, it's You need to be in your body to bring something into the situation.

[00:10:19] Diana Richardson: You don't reach over and expect your partner to give you something. You have to enliven yourself and, one can do that through breathing, can get more cheer going in the body. You can do that through more sensitive, the more inside your body, you can start to realize it's all the cosmos inside.

[00:10:38] Diana Richardson: There's just planets, stars, everything constantly moving. And so if we tune into that, oh my God, this moment, any moment, is magic. And if you can bring that sensitivity and that awareness, into the person you're making love with, you just enter a different world and it's really the world of the present.

[00:10:57] Diana Richardson: And then time, yes, time disappears and yes so making love, pe I love what you said in the beginning about what did you say? Oh, making something. It can change your life, totally Could change your life. Something. And I want to say yes, your life. It's not just your sex.

[00:11:17] Diana Richardson: What we don't really appreciate is that, um,

[00:11:23] Diana Richardson: Sex is the foundation. And if we get the cornerstones, the foundation in real, in alignment, presence, everything else above it changes. So people take, Oh, I do that in my sex life, I do it in the dark, it doesn't really matter, but it does matter. How you do it, and then, I'm not teaching techniques or anything, in fact, totally against techniques, because technique then becomes doing, and already we're doing in sex, that's half the problem, we do.

[00:11:54] Diana Richardson: And I teach with my partner Michael, and we say, it's not what you do, but how you do it. And, so the elements are the same, you've got the same genitals, you've got the same, all the elements are the same, but the constellations and the how is with awareness and it is so simple.

[00:12:13] Homaya: It's fascinating, there's something in the air as I'm listening to you and I wonder if you will feel comfortable to go in it, because one of your books is slow sex. And I hear that, that also when you are using the word slow sex. it's actually present sex, right? Slow allows us to be more present and less in the doing.

[00:12:41] Homaya: Yet, in the collective consciousness it's almost a terrifying I don't know how many people know to make love, in that way, or even are aware of that. There's such a disconnection from the body, so such a disconnection from spirit within. There's such a lack of being present that it goes also into lovemaking and into sex.

[00:13:08] Homaya: And I add into it, when you're saying sex is fundamental, which is an absolute truth, because there would be no life without it. No you, no me, no human, no evolution without it. And yet it is not respected or respected. honored. It's not within a ritual. It's not within the highlight of life. It is a taboo.

[00:13:37] Homaya: It is hidden. It is so complex. Can you share your insights, your vision about that? 

[00:13:45] Diana Richardson: Basically, if we were in our bodies, body, we would make love naturally. So it is our nature, but like you said, we are not there. We've like, we've just abandoned that nature. Now full of ideas. And so sex.

[00:14:03] Diana Richardson: Which I'll talk about in just a second, but that is, is actually who we are. And one of the problems with sex is the goal orientation, that we think it's about having a big peep. So we work towards that, so we get faster and faster. But that's another subject. We gotta get through this. Look, first I want to talk about the term slow sex.

[00:14:25] Diana Richardson: We don't like that title because that's already saying go slow, and then slowness is a technique in how slow is slow, right? We would rather have had the title conscious sex. Because when you publish this, it slows down, naturally. I could just lift this glass to my mouth and drink, but if I really, do it with awareness, it's slow.

[00:14:47] Diana Richardson: So the first thing is awareness, and it's always only about awareness. And but the publishers wanted the title Snow Six, and they do have the final right, and they sell the books, so you said this, but we, it's first. conscious, and their slowness happens by itself. And then when you slow it, just quite naturally your sensitivity.

[00:15:11] Diana Richardson: So these, three things are, look we are conditioned, we are input, that we can unlearn all these errors. Actually, there are mistakes in understanding sentences. So for me, when I was like in my early thirties I'm a disciple of the spiritual master Apsha, like he talked a lot about Tantra already in the 70s.

[00:15:34] Diana Richardson: I became a disciple in 1979. Prior to that he talked about Tantra a lot. And but this is all in the books. So I was reading that, and I thought, wow, that just sounds so cool. So that was the first kind of inkling I got, that there was an alternative. But then I thought, look it's quite it's not very specific, genital specific for example.

[00:15:53] Diana Richardson: And then I came across, now this was early 80s, an Australian man, an Australian master for very long, Osho and Barry are now deceased. And Barry Long did two tapes for me. At that time it was cassette tape era. Two, three tapes. Called Making Love the Divine Way. And so I listened to those hundreds of times.

[00:16:14] Diana Richardson: And he really was very chapter specific and really tough. Not much sense of humor, but yeah, not much sense of humor, like Osho had a great sense of humor. So anyway I practiced that for a long time with one person. And then I read Osho and I said, Oh my God, I know what he's talking about now.

[00:16:35] Diana Richardson: Because I got that basic, how do the bodies come together? So look, this was all experimental. Nobody else I knew was doing it. I couldn't talk to anybody about it except the person I was making love with. And, um, it must have been for like five years or something I had no intention ever to teach, but then I was living in Ashurbanipal.

[00:16:57] Diana Richardson: People, they saw that I'd vanished from the party scene. They were like, what are you doing? We don't see you anymore. But basically I was in bed. And so then people, the word got around, okay, she's, checked on sex situation. Then couples started to come to me and ask advice. And I found I could talk very easily about it because I was a massage teacher, give me a shoulder trapezius and thumbs, I know how to talk about that. It wasn't much of a shift to start to talk about. testicles and penises and breasts and vaginas and stuff. So that kind of evolved into me designing, of course, a retreat, a week long retreat for couples and then starting to write books.

[00:17:36] Diana Richardson: Because I was just curious, like when I wrote my first book, the one that you mentioned, The Heart of 206, I was just curious is it possible to put in words what I experienced in that body? I've never written before. I'm, English speaking, so I'm not particularly concerned. But, so I sat down in India and wrote this first book, and it has been so well received.

[00:18:00] Diana Richardson: Obviously it was possible to put things into words. Now, there's a lot of books about sex that are increasingly but, I dare I say this about the content of mine is that it's so different. Because it's about the awareness and being in the present, relaxation, and not about doing this and pushing here and pressing there and controlling your ejaculation or forcing orgasms.

[00:18:26] Diana Richardson: And so I think that, I can only say that is why it's been well received because it just comes from the heart. So one book led to another, and they led to another sentence, everyone. And now stop. You've got this hard scene.

[00:18:42] Homaya: Yeah, I feel that this is a beautiful point also to share with those who are listening, that this, retreat that you created for couples are still running and actually fully booked years ahead. So this is the time if they choose to go deeper with you or to go deeper in the teaching and in this specific uniqueness that you have in the teachings, I'd love you also to if you feel comfortable elaborating a little bit more about the difference between this goal oriented orgasmic experience reaching a certain top and the difference of comparing to living in love and love making as a way of being.

[00:19:28] Diana Richardson: One thing that is so important is that to know that there's a spiritual outpouring You know it's as simple as that. If you're in the awareness, if you're in awareness with your partner, love is generated. But if you can bring that even further into the actual, love making, and increasing awareness of being more in the present.

[00:19:50] Diana Richardson: And you really can start to generate love. And I've seen it. I've seen it in my workshops in three days people already did. Simply because they're given the opportunity, they're given a few guidelines, not rules. Try this, try that. And suddenly love opens because love is in you. It's not the other person.

[00:20:08] Diana Richardson: You are love. So people start to get that experience that I am love. And, uh, the thing about conventional sex is the big emphasis is on the peak, coming, for men and for women. Now, for men, that's a bit of a, it's quite difficult because often men have premature ejaculation, so coming is, you know, a bit of a torture in their lives because they can't last.

[00:20:36] Diana Richardson: But they do like to come, that's sure, even if it's in the beginning. But women, they don't. They don't come so easy. And so, there's reasons for that and maybe we have time to go into it. But the point. Go. Yeah. It's just, there's so many things to talk about. Bring me 

[00:20:54] Homaya: back to this point.

[00:20:56] Homaya: Okay. 

[00:20:56] Diana Richardson: About difference between men and women. Crikey.

[00:20:59] Diana Richardson: So basically we're all striving for orgasm. So when we're doing that, every move, every, like thrust and so on, is angled towards increasing the level of excitation. Actually what we're doing is we're increasing the level of tension. Because it's not really what the genitals choose to do, it's what we impose on the genitals.

[00:21:20] Diana Richardson: And they're quite powerful, the body is very powerful. And

[00:21:24] Diana Richardson: so this focus on all that, and thinking this is what it's all about, is a big misunderstanding. Because we're building up overcharging tension, and then discharging that, and then we are up to Q2. And that's very clear in the case of men. With women, if we observe it, we'll also see a sudden feel disconnected.

[00:21:43] Diana Richardson: You come, the jokes man turns over. You maybe feel sad because your sex was a bit short, or you didn't come, or maybe you did come, somehow you didn't come. Um, what, yeah, so the orgasm creates a loss of energy and a disconnection. Then it takes you a while to find your center again, and to, the actual aim, can we say, or, the body is designed to contain sexual, not to discharge it. We discharge it through patterns of misunderstanding. So one of the things that, it doesn't happen quickly, but we do encourage people like over time, I'm talking about years. It's not that once that you start to stop coming, not as a controlling way, but as a relaxed way.

[00:22:29] Diana Richardson: That doesn't even come into the frame and start to contain the energy because that is your life. And when that energy is being discharged, it's inverted, then, it's empowering and you just feel it a lot better and more self confidence, no doubt, self doubt. More trust in yourself, more trust in your body, more trust in your partner.

[00:22:52] Diana Richardson: It is a shift from discharging energy to containing energy. What's very important is that, especially in the case of men, we're not talking about controlling ejaculation. Because there are techniques which we do not endorse at all. Where, you build up the tension or the excitement until it's almost the point of no return, but then you drop.

[00:23:13] Diana Richardson: You just drop down, you push a pair of wheels or whatever, and you build it up, push it down, build it up, push it down. And actually what is happening in the end to men is they get congestion in their testicles. And ultimately Can 

[00:23:29] Homaya: you Sorry. Can you repeat what is happening to men? This 

[00:23:33] Diana Richardson: is, they create a congestion and then afterwards they will feel pain if they don't come.

[00:23:38] Diana Richardson: So basically this practice of building up and repressing, building up and repressing is creating pain. We are very much in the domain or the sphere of relax, take it easy, moment by moment, let it unfold, because if you of going for orgasm. You're in the future, even if it's like a millisecond.

[00:24:00] Diana Richardson: There's a world of difference between here and a millisecond ahead. The whole thing is to that absence, which is unconsciously being built into sex through the orgasm, fixation or drive or wish.

[00:24:15] Diana Richardson: We start to balance that presence, so we've created unconsciously absence now, we start to build in presence, just so many ways, softening, just becoming more inside your body, and then the body is known how to make, it is amazing, and I know many people have had extraordinary experiences, right?

[00:24:39] Diana Richardson: That certain space and then suddenly, you just so in the here and now the whole thing is just unfolding. And then it never happens again your whole lifetime. And then you wonder, why was that so special? And the only thing is, the only thing, but it's a big thing, is you were present. You were totally in the thing.

[00:24:56] Diana Richardson: There was no mind. In this way, we can consciously start to unwind all the misunderstandings and replace it with a presence of relaxation. And it's very interesting. It's not a quick fix. It's not going to happen in a few months. You really got to give it space. You've got to make a lot of love.

[00:25:15] Homaya: And yeah, there's paradigm change. There is a mental change, emotional changes, so many shifts that you're going through in order to move yourself into that state of love. 

[00:25:26] Diana Richardson: There's only one thing. He's making it an appointment. That's it. And then you just do that again and again. Practice.

[00:25:33] Diana Richardson: It's not it's not to say that if you come anything's wrong, but it's a process. It's a process, but you keep to need to keep engaging in it. And it's lovely. So it's a very pleasant thing to do. It's not a hardship.

[00:25:46] Homaya: I love this dynamic that I feel that is coming in your presence where, okay, you need a level of awareness to, to be in this lovemaking, in that way of lovemaking and it is rewarding you as it is increasing your awareness. It's almost like a circulatory aspect. It's like you're coming to it with your level of awareness and you allow that to open you up even more and even more.

[00:26:19] Homaya: Yeah. And rise your consciousness and expand your presence. 

[00:26:23] Diana Richardson: Yeah, that's a really good point. And, what we say what I say is that start to be more present. Not just in the bed, start to think in the night, like how your shoulders are like this, soften them, keep, use your body, to hold you in the present during the day.

[00:26:41] Diana Richardson: Then that comes, you bring that to bed, like you said, that gets amplified through your consciousness. Then you take that out of there, and then that comes to you. So it's an, it will slowly increase it. Experience and empowerment. You just feel happier, feel better in your body, you have a different vibration.

[00:27:01] Diana Richardson: So I, I, there is a lot available on the market and increasingly so because people are receiving all kinds of, and it's what do I do? Now look, I'm not knocking anything, but I've just said, sex is the closest we can get to ourselves. There's nothing else that is going to take you down to that singular experience, and also address injuries, it's very healing, it's very integrating.

[00:27:30] Diana Richardson: Also you release a lot of conditioning, all this imprinting we had about sex. So I'm a big fan of really encouraging people to start. You don't need to come to a course at all so I'm not trying to promote those. You just read the book, read a chapter, try it out. You do need to have a little bit of vulnerability and not think you know everything and try and get it right, it's a pain.

[00:27:57] Diana Richardson: But one important thing, if I may, that I promised to come back to was one 

[00:28:02] Homaya: Yes, I want us 

[00:28:03] Diana Richardson: to come back to. Yes, is one, one very, um, men and women are equal forces, and in general we can say man is a dynamic force. Dynamic means flowing. An innate capacity for male energy to flow. So it's not a doing, it's not a doing.

[00:28:20] Diana Richardson: And women are a receptive force, right? And that's again, receptivity is not passivity. Receptivity is a power, it's a force. And so we do have this kind of magnetic setup in us. But the problem is That we think men and women are the same, but men get turned on to sex very quickly. They want to enter very quickly.

[00:28:44] Diana Richardson: But women, because she's more on the sexual side, she needs longer for her body to warm up. So women are not immediately attracted. Available for sex like men are. And then often when, oh, there's some drama coming out, what, how, frigid, why, contact it. So it really, so quickly, but it's really our magnetism.

[00:29:07] Diana Richardson: And in fact, female sexual energy is not raised, which was raised from the breasts. And I'm not talking about stimulating the nipples. I'm talking about, just like holding the breast, and entering the breast, and for men also to hold the breast. Because it's from here that there's an overflow, a magnetic overflow that then opens the vajra and makes her receptive, capable to receive that energy.

[00:29:32] Diana Richardson: When

[00:29:33] Diana Richardson: I 

[00:29:33] Homaya: do remember you, I do remember you also have a meditation, like a breast meditation, right? I remember 

[00:29:40] Diana Richardson: Yeah, I do. 

[00:29:43] Homaya: Yeah, and I feel that also, this dynamic. and the circulation and allowing circulation of receiving and giving, of opening and allowing that to open yourself, open up even more, like really allowing a flow.

[00:29:59] Homaya: I feel that this is one of the keys that is awakened within me in this conversation, that the more you are in it, beyond any contradiction of inside and outside, male or female, lower genitals and breast upper part, like the more you are allowing the circulation simply to flow, the greatest, the openness that is happening within you to tap into it again, really moving beyond duality, beyond contradiction.

[00:30:34] Homaya: That exists, the contradiction exists, it's part of the nature, if we're speaking about sex and lovemaking as a fundamental thing. A contradiction inside out, up, upper and lower, male and female, slow and fast, the contradiction exists. And part of this really making love is being able to take contradiction and unify them, find the unifying 

[00:31:00] Diana Richardson: point.

[00:31:00] Diana Richardson: Absolutely. And the beauty with, anyway, with heterosexual is that the other is the doorway to yourself.

[00:31:08] Diana Richardson: So the other is just a doorway, but ultimately what happens within you is the male and the female aspects of yourself. And also, like the master said, in a certain way, there's no difference between Yes. And in this consciousness, you may get to a certain state where you're totally bodiless.

[00:31:25] Diana Richardson: And this is where we can draw a distinction between orgasm and orgasmic. So you use the two words. Quite close after each other, but they are two different experiences, if we be really on the point because an orgasm, is a big, short experience and you work for it, but an orgasmic experience happens by itself, you can't make it happen.

[00:31:45] Diana Richardson: And this is where you just lose all sense of physical boundaries, you feel at the point of the universe, as it was, and you just but this arises by itself through putting certain building blocks in, in place. To be present and relaxed. And it's likely to happen when it's the last thing you're thinking about.

[00:32:07] Diana Richardson: So you can't create. Or you can do this. Create the foundation for it. It may happen, it may not, but it's not like the fulfilling thing. It's oh, I didn't have my orgasmic experience, but eventually I'll say to you, oh gosh, I didn't have my orgasm. 

[00:32:21] Homaya: Yes, allowing it to happen to you and through 

[00:32:24] Diana Richardson: you.

[00:32:24] Diana Richardson: Exactly. And this takes tremendous, um, because of the imprinting, because of our minds, it takes tremendous, wow. You just got to trust, you just got to trust your body. As you speak, like my vision, my psyche, 

[00:32:39] Homaya: I'm seeing

[00:32:40] Homaya: flowers opening up in nature. Like you're walking in a garden, the flowers are opening up, they're opening up in their own accord, by their own wisdom. They're not calculating how to get to that point. You just ripen into that point where the flower is opening up.

[00:32:58] Diana Richardson: If I just want to go back to this thing about the main, it's very important that women's body opens up more slowly than men's body. And because of this fact, women are often I think I did say it, but women think they switch it all up and stuff. And as soon as you understand, ah, that's, Oh, my point is actually that.

[00:33:22] Diana Richardson: There is this thing that women lose interest in sex. It's well known. You meet, blah blah blah. good and glorious, but then there's a point where there's a withdrawal, and literally women lose interest in sex. And the reason for that is because women's not getting enough time. Now when you first, first meet, you're very present, but so the body's opening up, the heart's open, the vagina opens very nicely, but after a while everything normalizes, so because women are always crossing their own boundaries, meaning they're not ready for sex with a big man inside, because we really want our man to be happy. We often put him, his needs or his wishes in front of ours. So as women we have become, quite pleased, pleasers. 

[00:34:11] Homaya: Yeah. Also, there is a, there's a cultural standards, of course, right?

[00:34:17] Homaya: There's a cultural standards. And as there's no education about lovemaking, you get what you get. And you try to play with it, with what you get on the TV or conversations that you hear, it's like our fantasies that you have instead of softening into the understanding of how your body is leading you and where your body is leading you to.

[00:34:40] Diana Richardson: Yes. Yes.

[00:34:41] Diana Richardson: So this interest that happens in women, it's because we cross our own boundaries and we are never really engaged. We, we do it we, but we're not like really in it. So after a while the body goes, oh, it's not really worth it. So that's what happens. There's a slight withdrawal.

[00:34:59] Diana Richardson: But it's not because women actually lose interest in sex, it's because it's, they're not given enough time to warm up and really get engaged in the whole thing. And look, okay, I say women are pleases but it's really good to acknowledge what men have. And they have a tremendous performance. And this really knocks them away from their centers, from the trust in the body, because it's all about maintaining, getting an erection and maintaining it.

[00:35:30] Diana Richardson: So very often their attention is on that, rather than feeling themselves or, are they, connected? So that, that really has to be acknowledged, and interestingly, we hear from the band and our groups is that so great that I don't have to make my woman cry. Because that's his main thing.

[00:35:50] Diana Richardson: Okay, he wants to come, but he definitely wants to make the woman cry. And also, so the whole performance pressure just drops right out, which enables the band to be more the hero now. Yeah. Of course. Connected. Yeah, exactly. Being together. Yeah, 

[00:36:07] Homaya: exactly. A level of intimacy. Another level of intimacy.

[00:36:13] Diana Richardson: And it's just you just feel different. And it changes your life. It changes your relationship with people. As soon as you understand more about sex and so on. I think you've done well. That's so beautiful.

[00:36:24] Homaya: Oh my God. Diana, that was such a lovely conversation. Oh my God, I'm so happy that We dived into it and not only the topic but also the energy. We could go on and on. I'm grateful for your presence, grateful for your presence in my life, grateful for all that you brought here today. Thank you so much for this beautiful path that you took yourself, following your own master within who knew everything.

[00:36:55] Homaya: What you came here to be, what you came here to do, just followed it. in your own signature, in your own way, and the ripple effect that it, that is living on the planet. It's beautiful. 

[00:37:08] Diana Richardson: Sweet darling. Thank you. And thanks to you for all you've done, and do, and are, and experiencing. Thank you, my sweet.

[00:37:17] Diana Richardson: Take care. Thank you.