The Calling: Follow your spirit- all the way in

019 The Essence of Surrender, Shameless Radiance and Divine Flow Featuring Sofia Sundari

• Homaya / Sofia Sundari • Season 1 • Episode 19

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Welcome to another enlightening episode of The Calling! In this episode, I am thrilled to be joined by the remarkable Sofia Sundari, a dear friend and an embodiment of spiritual wisdom. Our journey together spans over 15 years, filled with profound adventures and transformative experiences.

Sofia, a true visionary, epitomises the evolution from indigo child to crystal woman, radiating clarity and depth in all aspects of her being. Our conversation delves into the essence of surrender, the dance between willpower and divine flow, and the transformative power of embracing chaos.

From her early career as a lawyer to her spiritual awakening following a profound personal loss, Sofia shares her journey of surrendering to the call of divine purpose. Through moments of chaos and uncertainty, she found liberation in surrendering to the divine flow, leading her on an extraordinary path of self-discovery and service to love.

We explore the paradox of surrender: an active state of presence and dedication, rather than passive resignation. Sofia's insights illuminate the path to true humility, transcending the ego's desire for validation and approval. Embracing the wild, untamed aspects of her being, Sofia discovered the transformative power of radical self-expression and authenticity.

Our conversation invites listeners to embrace the full spectrum of human experience, recognizing the divine perfection inherent in every moment. Through surrender, we open ourselves to the infinite possibilities of growth, expansion, and divine connection.

Join us on this journey of self-discovery and liberation as we navigate the sacred dance of surrender and empowerment with Sofia Sundari.

Key Takeaways:

  1. Surrender is not passive resignation but an active state of presence and dedication.
  2. Embracing chaos and authenticity leads to profound self-discovery and liberation.
  3. True humility arises from transcending the ego's desire for validation and approval.
  4. The divine madness of life invites us to embrace the full spectrum of human experience.
  5. Through surrender, we open ourselves to infinite possibilities and divine connection.

Thank you for tuning in to The Calling. May this conversation inspire you to embrace the sacred dance of surrender and empowerment in your own life.

Sofia Sundari Resource Links: 

Homaya Resource Links:

Homaya:

Oh, blessings, everyone. Welcome to another episode of the calling. I am so happy to be in this episode with my dear beloved longtime friend, Sophia Sundar, which in my heart eyes is walking legend. Having the privilege to be part of her life, she's a part of my life for around 15 years worthiness if we can count something like she's a wonderful lover. Wonderful teacher, wonderful guide. And I experience you Sofia your presence in there were a talk about indigo children years ago, those Indigo children's are now Indigo adults. And I've seen that in you. From the first time that I've seen you that Indigo Child, Crystal tile, you know, Crystal woman, leading with this clarity, with depths beyond the common frequency. Welcome.

Sofia Sundari:

Thank you so much for the beautiful welcome them in so much to be seen by you, and to have you in my life and just love you so much, and so grateful for all the incredible adventures we've had together. And this also feels like another adventure.

Homaya:

Yeah, I do feel our life together. It's like a dance. We dance with each other, we show up in different moments. And sometimes it feels like we're doing the same movement. And sometimes like a dance, we change roles. But it is so beautiful to have this type of relationship with someone that is so open, and so active, so devotion, so connected, so thriving for the truth, and for the highest truth, or the highest frequency and to walk next to someone like that. It's always it's a treasure, it's a blessing. I've enjoyed my life next to you,

Sofia Sundari:

thank you, I feel once we taste the nectar, then you become drunk, I think cannot help but learn to be with the Divine and then recognise each other because we just drank mystics who just to bridge those realities, and especially that, that I feel that for a lot of people who have a very strong spiritual connection, they don't want to do things in the world. It's the nectars here, why bother doing things. But I feel that's what keeps bringing us together is that we both also have a very strong sense of purpose here. Very strong sense. Actually, yeah, to maintain the fire of the will in the manifest reality,

Homaya:

holy fire with fire that gave this breath, the fire that gave this heart the fire that created this world. And when you so I know your history, the way that I know, your original shift, the first shift came from actually being a lawyer into starting following your heart. And since then, I'm seeing you again and again and again, through valley and mountain high. Following your heart. What leads you How does it feel? For me,

Sofia Sundari:

it really feels like surrender. Because if I were to try to imagine my life, like 15 years ago, I would have never come up with anything close to what I'm experiencing. I wanted to be happy. Yes, I wanted to be wealthy. Yes, I wanted to do something meaningful, but I could have never, ever put a goal or make a plan or make a vision board or anything like that. And I feel that from the moment that my best friend died from drug overdose. That was such a big awakening for me and put me into such a stressful situation that activated a very familiar scenario because I grew up with a very stressful situation and a very chaotic environment. And so that death to me, right into that state, and I also managed to burn through a lot in that state. So I was living completely unconscious life. I had questions about who are we what is this life? What is my destiny? What is my true path, but still I was living a very disconnected and unconscious life. And then with that death, it gave me a life you It shook me up with that unexpected thing. And I, the way I showed up even in that def portal doc into his family, organising thing is some invisible force took over. Because I feel like the pressure was so strong. So if something had to pop in, I feel from that point on. That was all I do towards the end of my career career was just two years, but still, then I worked another year, and that was the completion. And then I discovered the spiritual path. And so many questions were answered, and I understood why he was addicted to heroin, because he was telling me you never tried, you will never know. And then I was like, he was looking for God. Actually, that's what he wanted. And when I had my first spiritual experiences in meditation retreats, and where we met in Thailand, I was like, Okay, I get it. I didn't need to try that. But I tasted this nectar. And I understand. And from that point on, it was such a homecoming, there's nothing else I can dedicate my life. So that's it. This is not a fantasy, it's not a concept. It's something that there was a direct experience of. And since then, I offered my life. So I created this consecration ritual for myself, consecrate my life, in service to love in service to the divine. And I feel like I go where surrender takes me. And I could have never imagined that surrender would take me into this way. I thought surrender will take me to Himalayas, somewhere living in isolation, with surrender takes me in the being of a multimillionaire and having global impact and having incredible success, and the only just getting started. So fascinating.

Homaya:

Yeah, I'm starting to write started to wrote a post today. And one of the things that I was writing there is that energy is not something that we can reproduce, or recycle, or recreate. We cannot, we can recycle matter. We can recycle, that come with a conversation that you and I had this morning. And we were speaking about how we create energy, because you cannot, it needs to come from somewhere. It is always here. But something navigate this energy to become alive. And in this conversation, one of the things you are saying that it's like a pressure, you create a certain pressure. And you learn gradually, in your mastery, how to create a certain pressure, pressure that creates a movement it is our role in life is to keep that movement alive. And to keep the sensation alive all the time as fresh energy can come through this portal because it's so easy to search for either alternative, or Demi type. Something similar was that but not the real thing. And also is very easy to fall into nothingness and into stagnation, where you don't feel vital is divinity awakened within you? Right, you can feel that I can hear that from the story.

Sofia Sundari:

Yeah, absolutely. I feel with the numbness is is really really truly a disease of humanity, that we lose this sensitivity. And then it shows up as tension in the body. It shows up as belief systems, it shows up as conditioning, all these layers. But actually, it's just like us being contracted. And like human experience in itself is like a contraction to come into the body, we already contract. But then we can talk more and more because we forget who we are. And in the remembering then this relaxation happens and the pleasure happens. And then the natural orgasmic states happen as well. This is quite fascinating. We get to live a life full of pleasure in the embrace of the eternal.

Homaya:

You would have one of the things that I feel about success is how much pleasure and how much joy can you actually hold? This is success. There's so many ways to say it but it's staying in this place of joy stay in this place of fulfilment of realisation of luminosity of pleasure of aliveness.

Sofia Sundari:

Yeah, and even more what I find that at some point, there has to come a moment that we realise that to hold it we cannot hold it in the way that we hold other things to can't hold it like I'm holding it, but there's rather a relaxation into being held.

Homaya:

Now this description, it's another way way of being, it's another way of holding, it's a way of being held. Yes, it's a way of you becoming, you're not holding space, you are becoming the space. So what is for you this quality inside of you? How do you feel it inside of you? This devotion, this flame, this Holy Flame, this passion? How does? How do you feel?

Sofia Sundari:

I love this question. So, I find that something that's really paradoxical about my path is that there exists this big surrender, together with incredible willpower. And this fire that we talk about, that then makes me keep on keep keeping on keeping on. And how I experienced that is that there's just no other option. I don't even perceive myself as being courageous or brave or confident, there is a certainty, I know where I'm going, it's clear to me they live. And that's it. It doesn't require for me some to build an identity and get confident and that identity and suddenly, like, it's just very clean, very simple. I know what this life is about for me. And that's it. It's very clear, very simple.

Homaya:

If you are to guide the common you can see either people who are moving in life and having those questions of what is my purpose, or people who are so awakened spiritually, and at the same time feeling that it is all here it is all of them. So egoless means I will not exist. What would be your guidance to those situations? What do you feel that you experienced inside of you that can share light?

Sofia Sundari:

So can you say again, if the sutra these two polarities, yeah, some people just go I want to be egoless. And other people get so preoccupied with worldly accomplishments.

Homaya:

Yeah, that's And what's with you, you have this beautiful cocktail, no beautiful nectar by itself, where there is a combination of I feel divinity passing through me, I'm in full surrender. And while I'm in full surrender, and running forward, so it's a beautiful mixture of spirit and matter. It's a beautiful mixture of purpose, and acknowledgement, often higher purpose, and the delivery of that higher purpose, something in you is such a beautiful messenger. And when I look, many times, people are coming also, to me with questions about my purpose, how can I fulfil my purpose? And the most of the scenarios that you see, it's either people who cannot tap into their inspiration into the feeling that they are worthy that it's already here, or people who feel that it is. So here, that there actually there is no need for anything more for this or this? For both? What would be your medicine? What do you feel like you can inspire them?

Sofia Sundari:

I feel like both are true, in a way. And because on one hand, you it is all here, everything is already here, there's nothing to accomplish. It's just, it's just hear, there's no separation. There's only one of us. It's already done. And it's also true that it's not the ego who has to do it. So we cannot do it from the personality. We cannot do it from just like just deciding I'm gonna do it because other people are doing it that seems to be working for me. So let me do it. It also cannot be it cannot come from this contraction. It cannot come from grasping whenever in my life. And I'm saying this because I've done that also, because sometimes some worldly goals, some payments that have to be fulfilled when I was having the scheduled payments for my apartment coming in. Every month I was experiencing this grasping and I felt that it's impossible to create from grasping. I tried it really did not work. I had my lowest months in business ever when I was coming from the place. And quickly I realised that it's completely against the very finger made of it cannot come from grasping to create really magnificent things on this planet. In our lives cannot come from grasping because it cannot come from personality, it can only come from the magnificence that is the divine. And so within that it's a, it sounds like a paradox to the mind. But when we go higher in the consciousness, we see that it's not a paradox with it's a perfectly orchestrated way of the universe, that they're that we get to be this big space, this loving space, remembering that there's no separation, no distance between you what you desire, but at the same time, you open even a little bit more, and then a little bit more, and then you find the power that moves you, that makes you unstoppable. So it's like in the openings, it's like you crack. And then there is this force that goes through. That's how I experienced it. Because it didn't create this for security, you know, fake it, but it's like you have to you learn so much. It's like the flower it grows. And it looks so beautiful. So delicate with it has a massive root system. But it also goes in how what does it take from a flower to actually open to its beloved because it wants to be kissed by the sun, is it has hot, why does because nothing else matters. It wants to be kissed by the sun is that's what makes the flower blossom that what gives purpose of life. This is what it's everything for the flower and then it has to create all these routes and do whatever it needs to do to get the nourishment that means but the goal is this to open them to be kissed by the light. And so through this, okay, I feel this line I feel as and at the same time I grow the roots because I really care so much somehow is the paradox but it's also seen the nature

Homaya:

and the Infinity nature of the here that this is something also to highlight that there is no point where that is that love can stop or divinity can stop or even life can stop. There's no point we can have a lot of thoughts of how the world will add how our life how a relationship will end and at the same time at the same we do know that there is no end there's no stop there's an operator pointed over the week I heard when filthy when you were saying crap even war. And the mind could ask how do you crack but it's also It reminds me a contract construction we're giving birth you don't you don't need to do anything you crack and crack even more it is just happening it is happening in relationship is happening in your creation in writing books. When you allow this virus to pass through you

Sofia Sundari:

not resist the experience and even not resist the resistance because it also I can imagine and the contraction that there is also like a part of that oh my gosh, this is like painful. Can it stop? But then okay, so relaxing. They didn't do that and, and stay with it and okay, you will contract and you will try to resist it will still take over. So eager to give him

Homaya:

Yeah, it will take us further give it I agree. I I experienced it Leslie like that. The same. Like the highlight I want to give here this conversation for both of us. And for those who are listening is that it's not only us that are surrendering. It is spirit, passing and US melting in the presence of this truth. The presence of this clear frequency. We're like, I feel myself in the presence of God as someone who's melting my surrender feels more okay. I gotta melt also here. I gotta let go also here. It's a very, I would even say active surrender. Like this war with this gift that I can come sometimes with questions and I can come sometimes we doubt and sometimes I will receive answers and sometimes I will receive silence. And in this presence of silence like look, be less you know what I mean? Be literally be less you okay, I can definitely be coming more in. Bless you.

Sofia Sundari:

That's beautiful. Where are they? You said you said there's surrender that feels active. And that's exactly the point that I feel. There's a lot of confusion around that it sounds like surrender is like giving up and surrender is like doing nothing. But I feel like that There's nothing passive about surrender, it's it takes so much presence, it takes so much dedication, it takes so much fire to actually surrender. And then in that oh become visible in that surrender will become visible to the invisible realms, and then there's all the support that comes in. That's why it's so hard to explain them because we truly experience our multi dimensionality. And seeing that, it seems like it's all my creation, and it is, but at the same time, I'm actually in a constant co creation was the entire existence and there's so much support

Homaya:

with Sophia, do you feel that inside of you? There's a question about humbleness. I will elaborate a moment. And of course, around humbleness. Yes. Because surrender, can people some people confuse surrender, we'd be lethargic and letting go and not taking ownership and let things be what they are, are. There's also another aspect of surrender, which is, I'll be humble not that I am not, meaning there's no meaning within me, but rather, that the the I that I have not will be clear. So I that I had, will shine. And it was this frequency receptive frequency that is similar to humble this, that the arrogance of the mind is not showing up. Arrogance is or humbleness is not a question of the heart, although many people can confuse with that. Because the only thing that can be arrogant inside of us is our head. Do you feel that inside of you? Because you came from an education and you are Sophia? Right?

Sofia Sundari:

I feel like there were many years in my life where I was really putting a lot of emphasis on being humble. Because I thought that's the right code of conduct. Because as I was growing up, I was told the proper Yeah, be nice, all those things. And then also with the spiritual upbringing, also those things came up like was my spiritual studies. Yeah, as a yogi on a big combo. And then they realise it's another ego trip, to try to be humble. There's nothing holy or spiritual in trying to be humble. It's just another play that takes you out of surrender and out of what truly matters. Because when you surrender does not matter humbles mumble, you do the right thing, how it's perceived by others, because to be humble, normally, we do it to stay nice so that others like us, because we like humble people, they are not showing we're not taking too much space, space, what is there not to like about them, they're so modest about their results. So they do for the world. They're so quiet, there's so nice to be around. But it's a strategy to be liked by others. And as long as you're strategizing you're in your head and you're not in your heart and you're not on your highest path.

Homaya:

Remember what is the first moment that I've seen you breaking through in such a beautiful way? was when you started speaking about the wild woman? You were like crazy around her? Do you remember that time

Sofia Sundari:

I had like pictures on my on the rocks everywhere on the Instagram like wild Yeah, it was hard.

Homaya:

I felt that she needed to live because the good girl was so present, right? The good girl do the right thing that is working with the right staff and everything is already mapped out. And then again, if we speak about the spirit that exists within the spirit that exists within service, Sophia, we support you or we have other plans for you to do some rocks,

Sofia Sundari:

which pissed off a lot of people. And I also most people out of my life it also was my wild expression. And because that's how I was showing up and also the rooms I will show up and then completely see through red dress to this party was a flogger also, people who feel very intimidated, some curious but most prefer to keep a distance because you never know what to expect from a wild woman, of course was over the top often, but I needed that we knew sometimes radical things to break through those shells of conditioning. And the nice girl the good girl is a big conditioning on this planet.

Homaya:

It's a boundaries that we're taking on myself which are not ours. We take it and this is go back to this humbleness in the sense of pleasing, right. And this same quality the good girl wants to know the map. The good boy wants to know the map wants to know that it is secure. We're not to make mistakes not to fail. Not to be bitten to take the downside.

Sofia Sundari:

And normally it wasn't that it really criticises itself. Yeah, the good girl, she's so mean, on the inside, she said all the mean things, how you should look how you should talk how you messed it up. Oh, he's such a terrible environment to live in internally. And then, of course, this reflects on the external reality.

Homaya:

Yeah. So it's almost like you pick zero. It's almost like saying, there is a mess, whether you like it or not, even if you're spiritual, even if God is alive within you even more when God is alive within you, there is a mess. Where would you like to experience that? Where would you like to go through that. And this dynamic, this belief system that we have around this mess, is messy by itself. I hear so many people saying that the expression of how you are connected spiritually and humbler awakened spiritually is a representation, your manifestations. As a spiritual person, I'm asking myself, is that the truth because as a mystic, myself, as a person who's surrounded by so many people who are mystics, I'm not sure that my manifestation is a representation of my spirituality, I'm not sure that a spiritual person in high frequency is interested in all day long, in manifestation, rather accepting that there is a manifestation it is here already happening. And he's actually the play with it.

Sofia Sundari:

Yeah, we get to recognise that of, obviously, everything is our manifestation, but not in the sense that you are sitting there and visualising it, it's more of a sense of yes, your reality represents to you what, what is on the inside. And it's just it doesn't, it's not even good or bad. It's just what it is, you just get a very honest mirror everywhere you look so beautiful.

Homaya:

But the fact that something may go missing, or something will be on the edge or something will be provocative, not necessarily a reflection, that this person is disconnected spiritually, or this person doesn't have His Holy Flame awakened within no means I

Sofia Sundari:

agree with you. Because also, we have different different patterns that are also so interesting, and they are all beautiful. In the end, for example, I have a pattern that I've been working on for many years, and that I already refer to a little bit that therefore, my friend really put me into that pattern as well, which is chaos, to create chaos. And then to find myself in that chaos, and sometimes I'm just like, Whoa, what is this? Why is all this good? And then I would get overwhelmed and get so stressed and get so critical with myself and I would recognise while I'm creating this myself, why am I doing this, but then I recognise that I'm doing this because a four year old inside of me, that was her reality. And she's trying to recreate that so that I heal, so that I heal those patterns so that I become more and more free. So that and then now I also see myself sometimes creating chaos, not taking your passport when I go to travel, for example. And then be loving to myself about this. Yeah, okay, I'm doing the thing. What so what I booked the flight, oftentimes, they just don't even need to pay for it. And even if I had to pay for it, so what are the big mess? Is that, okay, I'll just go home, I'll arrest a few more hours. And then because in the past, I would create, I would make such a mess over the mess. But then we always have a choice when to stop the mess. Because we then with our attitude, our thoughts about the mess, and we just make ourselves suffer. But it is what it is, like you're saying it's just, this is the reality. And you can have a myriad of ways how to react to it.

Homaya:

Do you? I don't know if you remember, do you remember that I shared with you that I have this for imprints of the light activator people who are working with light and working with other teacher brothers. So the fourth time is, I call them the paradise openers. They love drama. They love gills, they love to create mess, actually, they need almost a create mess. Because this is part of how they move. And let's say like that, not necessarily they create this. Not necessarily they create drama, but because they have this ability to tap to the next level in tap to the next level, move to the next territory. See those things where people are not seeing that. This speed, this clarity, this boldness, this passing those boundaries, are creating a rebuild of things that might be breaking down kills drama, etc, etc. But there is a very clear knowing with them. That this is where they're heading this is where we need to tattle, this is what we need to do. And as you're speaking about it, I'm saying for sure paradise for them. They open the closest things, they open the place where there's this beauty is paradise.

Sofia Sundari:

Beautiful. Yeah. And that's also such a such a thing that we develop with time to see the multidimensionality of everything that's happening, because nothing is black or white, nothing is good or bad. There is this high aspect of it and divine madness is right there. And being the most delirious drunk head, so perfect, and there is childhood trauma, very real things to address are real things to heal. And all of that exists in this divine perfection spectrum. Or spectrum human, completely divine thing that's so heralding the acceptance of the full spectrum with acceptance that the spectrum will get even fuller, will get even wider, will get even more.

Homaya:

Such a beauty. My love, I'm so happy that we had a moment here to chat with you the beginning of another conversation, many times is happening it review for me, when we meet up like click forget about the world.

Sofia Sundari:

it can spiral into infinity.

Homaya:

Thank you so much for being here. Thank you for sharing your wisdom and your beauty. Again, I will say this is beautiful to see how you are stepping more and more higher and higher. Infinitely areas of opening.

Sofia Sundari:

Thank you so much. It's a pleasure to be here together.

Homaya:

This week, when we are recording the episode of my masters Darfur this was released yesterday. I heard that is not for nothing that I'm recording with you now. Because people can listen to conversations and try to grasp some things through their head. So meanings of words. But the most important thing is there is a frequency that is being created a certain knowing between you and I that we know. We really love the most we share the most. And I feel that this is a calling for the people who were listening to get the words and to feel Sophia and her beauty charity, but also to get the codes to get the vision to drink from the frequency of what was shared to me. Yes.

Sofia Sundari:

What is most important there's actually that which we're not saying that which is within these words. I love you. Thank you