The Calling: Follow your spirit- all the way in

033 Void to Victory Through the Path of Gratitude and Freedom Featuring Shilamida

• Homaya / Shilamida • Season 1 • Episode 33

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Hello beautiful people! I'm absolutely thrilled to be with you today and to share this incredible episode with my dear friend Shalamida. This conversation is filled with profound wisdom, personal transformations, and heartfelt moments that I believe will inspire and uplift you.

Episode Summary

In this episode, we dive deep into the extraordinary journey of Shalamida. From her beginnings as an acupuncturist and a single mother to her miraculous health transformations and spiritual awakenings, Shalamida’s story is one of resilience, growth, and profound wisdom. We explore the significant jumps in her life, the voids that preceded these leaps, and the sacred tools she discovered along the way. This conversation highlights the power of spiritual wisdom, the importance of living through moments of void, and the transformative nature of gratitude.

Key Takeaways

  1. Embrace the Void: Understanding that moments of nothingness are essential for the universe to recalibrate and bring forth your desires.
  2. Sacred Wisdom: The importance of spiritual wisdom and recognising the unique soul contracts we all have.
  3. Transformative Health Journeys: Shalamida’s inspiring journey of losing 120 pounds and discovering her sensitivities to various foods.
  4. Power of Gratitude: How practicing gratitude consistently can shift your life and bring forth manifestations.
  5. Listening to the Calling: Shalamida’s journey into acupuncture school as a calling rather than a logical decision, highlighting the importance of following intuitive guidance.
  6. Voice Codes: Discovering and harnessing the power of voice as a tool for activation and manifestation.
  7. Breaking Patterns: Overcoming deep-rooted negative patterns and embracing a positive, grateful mindset through conscious effort and spiritual practices.
  8. Non-reactive Gratitude: Cultivating a state of gratitude that is not dependent on external circumstances but is an inherent part of one’s being.

Join us for this enriching conversation as we explore the profound lessons and insights from Shalamida’s incredible journey. Her story is a testament to the power of resilience, spiritual growth, and the transformative potential of gratitude.

Thank you for tuning in, and I hope you find this episode as inspiring and enlightening as I did. Let's continue to embrace our journeys, trust the process, and always be grateful for the unfolding path ahead.

Connect with Shilamida: 

Homaya Resource Links:

The Calling EP33

[00:00:00] Homaya: Hello beautiful people. I am so happy to be with you and with my dear friend Shilamida. How are you darling?

[00:00:11] Shilamida: I am excellent. Thank you so much for having me on today. I'm so excited to chat with you. Yeah,

[00:00:20] Homaya: we've been knowing each other for some time and I have, we can say the privilege to witness you, your growth, your evolution, your sacred wisdom that I really love and appreciate so much. And I've felt the wish to call you here to be with us in the calling podcast because of the way that your soul contract is unfolding for you is such.

[00:00:52] Homaya: In such a unique way, one of the things that I've noticed is that you move, and probably will continue moving, in huge jumps. So for those who do not know who you are, I can share a little bit, but you're going to refine and adjust and make it clear, right? I will need to introduce the practical aspects, yeah, the practical aspects. So you were an acupuncturist and you were a single mother to, to, to one, okay, so you were a single mother to one, and in a miraculous experience, at least it feels like that, You've met your men, and then you also went into a health journey and lost, how much can we say gave away?

[00:01:52] Homaya: Gave. Why should we say lost? Gave away. Liberated yourself.

[00:01:57] Shilamida: I love that. At this point, I'm probably at 120 pounds.

[00:02:03] Homaya: Yeah. So

[00:02:05] Shilamida: I gave away an entire human being.

[00:02:09] Homaya: you gave away. It's amazing, right? Oh my god, and now you are through another jump and another transformation. In between you dedicate so much to learn about health and to offer health support and consultation and guidance to people through nourishment, through your wisdom. Now you went into the yoga journey, you're now a yoga teacher and all along the way you had a secret.

[00:02:42] Homaya: Tool that I want to go deeper into, but, 

[00:02:46] Shilamida: Yep,

[00:02:47] Homaya: so those jumps, because I saw you and I also, reviewed a little bit your journey and what was there and I saw that there were like seasons where it seems like nothing is happening and you were also saying can I do that or nothing is happening and so on, but.

[00:03:11] Homaya: Underneath things were brewing. And that is such an important experience, because we want to think that all the steps are equal. How is it to live through that?

[00:03:28] Shilamida: it's interesting First of all, I'm so activated right now as you started talking I started getting chills all over my body when you said spiritual wisdom. It was like some really excited for what's to come through and Yeah, I've lived through massive moments of void Which is a term that I now know and understand. I didn't really know that before.

[00:03:55] Shilamida: I just thought, why isn't anything happening? But it's really important to live through the void, right? Where nothing is active, where nothing seems to be moving, because the entire universe is recalibrating to bring you your every desire. So in order for that to happen, there has to be moments of pause.

[00:04:17] Shilamida: There has to be moments of nothingness. But when you're a really active person and you expect things to happen all the time, it's hard living through that void. And so my journey started when I was 17 years old. My father got diagnosed with cancer. My mother got diagnosed with cancer when I was 23. So from the ages of 17 to 27, all I knew was cancer.

[00:04:45] Shilamida: All I feared was death. My whole life was fight or flight. I didn't know what to do. We weren't holistic. They went to doctor after doctor and they just listened to what the doctor said. None of it really felt right for me and my father passed away. I broke up with my boyfriend at the time and then I found out three months later that I was eight weeks pregnant with his baby. after I broke up with him. So my life went from sadness, grief, heaviness to, I don't want to live. How am I supposed to live through this? How am I supposed to bring another life into this world when I don't even want to live right now? And so I started to eat my sorrows away, and I gained a hundred pounds during that pregnancy.

[00:05:39] Shilamida: It would take me over five years Wait, and I wouldn't start losing the weight until I went to acupuncture school and I started learning things from a very different perspective. I remember my first day of acupuncture school. I walked into school and with a big bag of candy. From the dollar store, I went to the dollar store, bought all this stuff and I put it on my desk and I'm like, if anybody wants some candy and everybody looked at me I was crazy right now.

[00:06:10] Shilamida: If you paid me, I wouldn't eat a piece of that candy, but I was so far removed from. What is health? What is healthy? What am I supposed to feed my body with? What does my body enjoy eating? What do I love? And food was always a clutch for me. I wasn't eating for enjoyment. I was eating out of sadness. I was eating because I was depressed.

[00:06:35] Shilamida: I was eating because I thought that was the solution to the things that I was going through. But as I started going through acupuncture school, I started learning about things like Qigong. Tai chi, breath work, acupuncture, right? There's all these modalities that can help you with the mental and emotional stuff that we're going through.

[00:06:58] Shilamida: And then I started learning that the food that I was eating was actually the enemy for my body. My body was sensitive to gluten. It was sensitive to dairy, soy, corn. And when I started receiving all of this information, it was like, What do you mean I eat pizza five days a week? I ate McDonald's several times a week.

[00:07:20] Shilamida: Subway sandwiches were a part of my diet because I would get these 1. 99 coupons and I was on food stamps. I was broke. My life seemed like it was shambles and here I was learning all these things and It was pretty crazy and in the interim of everything I was manifesting and I didn't really understand Manifestation, but I would lay in my bed and I would pray and I would say please just change this for me I just need to live life.

[00:07:49] Shilamida: I wanted to motivate other people. I always wanted to be a motivational speaker I always wanted to be an author which was interesting because I never wrote I was never a writer and I didn't really read a lot, but I just had this knowing that this was supposed to be what I needed to do. So one day I asked the universe please, if you just put me on my path, I promise I'll make something out of my life.

[00:08:14] Shilamida: And the journey that happened is the journey that we're on now together.

[00:08:18] Homaya: Oh my God, I have phobia of discovery, but I want to stay for a moment with you, the one that decide to go to acupuncture, because there, there is an unfolding of the contract. There is a moment where you hear a certain calling. You don't eat like that. You don't think like that. You don't look like that.

[00:08:41] Homaya: You don't move like that. And you become that. What was the logic, if it all existed, that made you sign up for something like that?

[00:08:52] Shilamida: It was literally a calling. And so after I asked the universe to put me on my path, I reconnected with an old friend from high school. I had this group of guy friends that I hung out with and the world of Facebook was just beginning. And so I met up with him and the one day he invited me to his home and his wife was there.

[00:09:15] Shilamida: And she was so socially awkward. And now I realize that I am as well,

[00:09:24] Homaya: Was.

[00:09:24] Shilamida: the moment, yeah I am

[00:09:27] Homaya: Okay. I'm not sure about that anymore, but okay.

[00:09:31] Shilamida: in the moment, my ego was like, Who is this girl? I can't be friends with her. Like she's she was just so out there for me. And so she friended me on Facebook. And this was a time when I had, like 250 friends on Facebook. You knew everybody who was on your Facebook. And the calling had sent me to a psychic.

[00:09:53] Shilamida: Right after I broke up with my ex, my son was about 18 months at the time. He had bought me a gift certificate to a psychic for Christmas. I broke up with him three days later, and the beginning of January, I went to go see the psychic. And it was the first time in many years that I had done anything like that, because when my father was sick, he had told me that when he was younger, a gypsy told him that he was going to die in his 40s.

[00:10:21] Shilamida: And with that information, I didn't want a psychic to tell me that he was going to die. So I stopped all of that spiritual stuff. And I sat down with her and all of a sudden I felt full body chills. I hadn't felt like that in a really long time. And she handed me the cards and I held on to the cards and she said, In your minds, I ask a question.

[00:10:45] Shilamida: So my question was, did I make the right decision by leaving my son's father? So the first card flips and she said, you might made the right decision. He's not the right guy for you. And I didn't say that out loud. So I was jaw dropped at the answer I had just received. She flipped the second card and she said, I didn't tell you this, but I'm also a medium.

[00:11:09] Shilamida: Is there somebody that you'd like to speak to on the other side? And so I said, maybe, because I didn't want to give her any information to work with. And she said there's a father figure coming through and chills came about me. And she started saying, he's so proud of you. He's so proud of the mother that you've been.

[00:11:32] Shilamida: You're on the right path. You're doing the right thing. And then she said to me, you have a gift and your son has the same gift and he's going to turn to you to develop that gift. And so I sat there and I was like what is my gift? I don't know what kind of gift I have. I was an event planner at the time and I'm like, okay, so I know how to throw great parties, but that can't be the gift.

[00:12:02] Shilamida: And so I left that it was like a little like a little crystal shop. I left there that day with my first deck of angel cards. with a CD Chakra CD and something else. I forget what I bought that day. And the following day or days later, I was at a plastic surgeon office with my mom who was battling breast cancer and they wanted to remove her breasts.

[00:12:26] Shilamida: And she was I don't know the word that I'm looking for, but obviously very upset about this. And in that moment, I said, I have to help people. I have to help people like my mom. Cause I said to her, it's not a big deal. Okay. So you don't have breasts. So it's not a big deal in your life to not have breasts, but how do you say that to someone who's about to get their breasts removed?

[00:12:49] Shilamida: And so I sat in that office and I did that chakra meditation as I was waiting for her and the message dropped in. That I needed to go to massage school. And so I started researching and I found a massage school that was 12 weeks. I called the owner. I was there that week and I was starting massage school the next week and three weeks into massage school.

[00:13:14] Shilamida: I was like, I cannot do this for the rest of my life.

[00:13:18] Shilamida: This is not the profession for me, but it was the very first time that I heard the word acupuncture because my teacher had Lyme's disease. And so she would come in and she would explain to us the different modalities of what she was doing. And so when I met that friend and he introduced me to his wife, she was an acupuncturist.

[00:13:43] Shilamida: And so when we connected on Facebook, I was in the middle of my massage journey. And so she kept asking me questions. When are you graduating? Where are you planning on working? Are you going to have an office? And Ego was like, stop asking me questions. Why do you keep asking me questions? And so right at the end of that 12 weeks, my friend, the guy texted me and said, Hey, we're having my daughter's birthday party this weekend.

[00:14:12] Shilamida: If you're not busy, come with your son. And so I was never busy then I lived a pretty boring life. And so I went to this party. And I was an event planner and I walked into a household of people that did not know how to throw a party. so they had all of these kids and nothing to do. And so I whooped in and got the sprinkler and started, doing what I do.

[00:14:39] Shilamida: And at the end, I sat down with the wife who was so grateful that I showed up to that party and the questions started again. Where are you going to work? What are you going to do? And I said I honestly, I don't know. I said, I, just had this calling to go to massage school, but I don't know. And she said, I want to hire you. I was like, okay, and she's I'll pay you a dollar a minute. So at this point i'm on food stamps. I had no money Every month was can I pay my rent or will I pay my rent? It was a pretty tumultuous time for me So a dollar a minute was like wow, if I worked the whole hour I could make sixty dollars, right?

[00:15:20] Shilamida: And so I was actually going through a quarter life crisis. I was turning 30 at the time, so a little bit over a quarter of life. And I was always very well endowed and it was very bothersome for me. So I wanted to go for a breast reduction. And so I had said to her, I'd love to come work for you, but I'm having this surgery and I don't know, how long it's going to take.

[00:15:43] Shilamida: And she said why don't I come and I do acupuncture for you and it'll help you heal faster. And I said, okay. And so the day after my surgery, she showed up to my house and she laid in my bed with me and she was my soul sister. The things that she was talking about, I was like, no one has ever had these conversations with me.

[00:16:06] Shilamida: I always thought something was wrong with me. I'm like getting teary eyed because literally in my twenties I would spend time arguing with people, what if there was a bunch of guys doing acid and they wrote the Bible and you're spending all of your time on this one book, right? And the things that I thought in my mind I just knew that I had lived this life before.

[00:16:28] Shilamida: I just knew that there was things that didn't make sense to other people. And here was this girl that I gave no chance to in the beginning. And she was. Speaking to my soul and she said to me in that moment, you have to go to acupuncture school. It'll change your whole life. And so the next day I called the acupuncture school And I showed up to my interview with the dean And I had no idea what I was getting myself into, not even a little bit.

[00:17:00] Shilamida: The massage school that I went to, I call it a BS school because it was only a 12 week program. Most massage schools are not 12 weeks. It takes much longer. But back then in the state of New Jersey, you didn't need a license. So you were able to complete the program pretty fast. So I thought in my mind that acupuncture school was going to be the same way.

[00:17:19] Shilamida: I was very mistaken.

[00:17:21] Shilamida: Four board exams. I was very mistaken.

[00:17:25] Homaya: Homaya,

[00:17:27] Shilamida: he said to me, do you have any questions? And I said, no, I did not have one question for him. I didn't know what to ask. I didn't know what I was getting myself into. So then he sent me to the bursar office.

[00:17:40] Shilamida: where she showed me the bottom line of what acupuncture school cost. Acupuncture school was over 50, 000. It was 50, 000 to the school plus books, plus this, plus that. And so I had just spent 8, 000 on massage school that I was still paying off and I had no money. So I left and I called my friend and I said, listen, this is a really expensive spiritual journey you're sending me on.

[00:18:09] Shilamida: Like I can't afford this. And she said to me, figure it out. You'll make your money back in the first year. And so I left there and I said, what am I going to do? Who am I going to call? I couldn't call my mom. I knew she would tell me I was crazy. I couldn't call my, I couldn't call anybody. There was nobody who was going to support this decision for me.

[00:18:30] Shilamida: And so I called my ex because school was on the weekends. And so I needed to know that he would take my son. So he was the only person that I told, and then I went to the bursar office and I said, I need help. I don't know how to do this. And so she told me that I could apply for loans that would cover about 35, 000 and that she would put me on a delay. to pay off the rest. But I wouldn't be able to sit for my board exams until I paid off the money. And so I showed up to acupuncture on that first day with my bag of candy. And I think it was about three weeks into acupuncture school when my mom called me one day and she said, where are you? And I said I'm in acupuncture school.

[00:19:16] Shilamida: What are you crazy? And I got exactly what I knew that I was going to get because at this point, my track record was not good. I had 30 careers by the time I was 30 years old, that was actually supposed to be the name of my first book. And so I knew that nobody was going to support my decision to go spend another 50, 000 on a career that I probably wasn't going to move forward with. But I did.

[00:19:42] Homaya: indeed, you

[00:19:43] Shilamida: I did.

[00:19:44] Homaya: and then you did not.

[00:19:46] Shilamida: I stayed in acupuncture for 10 years. It was that's a big deal for me in my life.

[00:19:52] Homaya: it's a big deal.

[00:19:54] Shilamida: And it completely changed my life. In acupuncture school, I met a teacher who taught me kinesiology. And then she started explaining to me that I was sensitive to all these foods. And at first my cognitive dissonance, I don't have celiacs, but I'm not sick all the time.

[00:20:12] Shilamida: She's no, you just feel like shit all the time. But that's your normal feeling. So it doesn't feel off for you. Wow, what powerful words, right? Most people they live feeling like shit most of the time. People who have headaches every day, they think that it's normal to have headaches every day because that's all that they know, right?

[00:20:37] Shilamida: People who live with pain in their body, they think that's normal because that's all that they know. And so now looking back in hindsight, Feeling the way that I feel in my body today at almost 45 years old. Wow. I felt like shit all the time.

[00:20:55] Homaya: Yeah. Yeah.

[00:20:58] Shilamida: And so

[00:21:00] Homaya: we're telling ourselves stories. Sometimes we're telling ourselves stories that we arrived to the top, that this is the best, that this is the health, that this is chocolate. And then somehow by the power of grace and by a power of, you didn't question. The guidance. This is so important because it's only the mind that can question, only the mind can stop and trying to figure out, but you have voice codes and you are also very much activated by voice code.

[00:21:38] Homaya: So once someone is offering something to you in this right frequency, the right words, this right transmission. You get it. You don't stop in, okay, let's go back and try to figure it out mentally. No, I've got the frequency. I've got the download and I'm now ready to move forward. Even if there would be no clarity around it, there's no, there would not be support.

[00:22:05] Homaya: There's not going to be money. And still it's just happened. It can find its way, but we're stopping ourselves so many times. On the way, trying to figure out all the nitty gritty aspects, while we don't necessarily need to do that. We can just move with a trust that the evolution is not linear, and sometimes you move first and get the support after, and not necessarily the other way around.

[00:22:38] Shilamida: Every part of my life is like that. Every single step that I've taken has been move and then you'll see and by the way You nailed it with the voice codes That was the gift that my son has. And I can tell you the exact moment we were sitting at dinner and it just came to me. We both have voice codes.

[00:23:03] Shilamida: He has it too. And in that moment I realized what my gift was. And then it made sense that I wanted to be a motivational speaker. I wanted to be an author because I have a voice. And either my voice is going to take you to the stars, Or my voice is going to trigger you so hard. But if you can come back from the trigger, I'm going to take you to the stars.

[00:23:29] Homaya: Yeah. Yeah.

[00:23:31] Homaya: is carrying, the voice is carrying so much. This is like a huge portal of manifestation. It is, in some way we can say, it is the cross, right? But it is the cross between heart, mind, and what I move into action, my hands. This is where, this is this place where we either integrate truth, we are either aligned with what we feel, with what we think, There's either alignment or distortion.

[00:24:04] Homaya: It's either truth or anything you say. BS, lies, whatever you want to say, distortion, misalignment, etc. And truth is triggering,

[00:24:18] Shilamida: Truth is hard. Truth is hard. And I love Facebook memories because it shows the whole journey. And, I had a post from probably 2009 that said, stop asking me if you don't want to hear the truth. Because even back then, even before I knew what I knew, I was always a truth teller for what I believed was truth, right?

[00:24:44] Shilamida: And now I didn't always know. But I did know, but I didn't always do the research. Now my truth is backed with research. I try not to speak unless I really know, and I can back it up because I think it's important because most people, they trust and they don't ask any questions. Just like when I showed up to that Dean's office that day, had I asked the questions.

[00:25:13] Shilamida: I probably would have talked myself out of it, right? So in that moment, I knew that I shouldn't have asked the questions. But because I'm so committed to living a healthy lifestyle and helping other people live healthy lifestyles, I see the way that people blindly trust. They hear the word wellness. They hear the word healthy.

[00:25:35] Shilamida: They hear the word safe, effective, and it's just not true. And they don't ask the right questions for themselves.

[00:25:46] Homaya: And yes, at the same time, you do have this research and I know that you know so much about food and nutrition and acupuncture and homeopathy and herbs and oils and all of those stuff. But the truth that you are relating to, the one that takes you and really makes those jumps in your life, is not a scientific truth and it's not a proven truth.

[00:26:10] Homaya: It's a knowing and a recognition. A frequency truth. When that friend was sitting with you and speaking with you, you heard the words, but not only the words, you heard a frequency that was the frequency of your soul. And you could say, Oh, here's my soul sister, because we speak the same language.

[00:26:33] Shilamida: And I specifically asked, right? I specifically asked the universe, please put me on my path. Show me what I need to see. And I started using that kind of language on a regular basis. And am I allowed to share the secret now?

[00:26:51] Homaya: Yes. I'm like, I'm eager to ask you, can I ask?

[00:26:54] Shilamida: Yeah.

[00:26:55] Homaya: When did gratitude enter? 

[00:26:57] Shilamida: I was in this place in my life where my ex and I were just, I knew, I knew he wasn't the right guy before I knew I was pregnant. So the fact that I got back with him and stayed with him was amazing. It was very tumultuous and we went to some event and I met this amazing girl.

[00:27:19] Shilamida: She is my earth angel. I have gratitude for her beyond. She was from Australia and we met and I invited her to my house and she came to my house to see the baby. I think Mikey was probably around nine months at the time. So it was a nine month journey until I actually left my ex. And we started talking, and she said to me, Gosh, you're really negative.

[00:27:46] Shilamida: And you complain a lot. But I was like, Okay. And for some reason, my ego was not like, bitch, why are you saying that to me? My ego was like, listen. And so I listened to her and she said to me, haven't you heard of the law of attraction? And I said, actually I have heard of the law of attraction. I said, when I was 21 years old, I was in an MLM.

[00:28:18] Shilamida: And I went to their conference and I sat by a woman at lunch and she said to me, you need to learn about the law of attraction. And so I bought the book and I read three pages. It had no pictures where I told you I didn't like to read. And so I put it on my bookshelf. And so when she said that to me, Seven years later, I went to my bedroom.

[00:28:40] Shilamida: I took the book off the bookshelf, blew the dust off of it, and I said, look, I have it. And then she said to me, haven't you ever heard of the secret? And this is when the secret first came out. And I said, I've heard of the secret, but I don't like to read. And she said they have it on CD. And I said, I have it and I went to my dining room, which was my office where I was doing massage.

[00:29:07] Shilamida: Oh, no, I wasn't doing massage yet. It was just my dining room. And I pull out the CD set that somebody gave me. I don't remember who, and I said, I don't like listening to things. I had an excuse for everything. And then she said to me, buy the damn

[00:29:25] Homaya: right?

[00:29:26] Shilamida: DVD. I didn't like to read. I didn't like to listen. So she said, buy the DVD.

[00:29:31] Shilamida: There's a DVD. And so I bought the DVD, I think, after that whole psychic experience. I don't think the gratitude came until a little bit later. And I was sitting watching, I, by the way, I read the Law of Attraction book within three days, right? Couldn't get past page three. I read the Law of Attraction book, so now I started.

[00:29:53] Shilamida: And then, In that whole process, I also got into a lot of the Hay House authors. So Louise Hay, Wayne Dyer, Deepak Chopra. I was also studying Kabbalah. And so every single thing that every which way I was turning gratitude, it was the one constant between all of the things that I was learning.

[00:30:16] Shilamida: And so I was like, I'm just going to focus on the gratitude. Because the everything else was too much for me. It was too much for me to do all the other things. But you needed to have a practice. And so I didn't have a good track record, right? I wasn't able to do things on a regular basis. So I started being grateful with my son.

[00:30:37] Shilamida: Every night before bed and we started being grateful for things. And then I started manifesting. I started being grateful for the things that we didn't have as though we had it. And I remember so clearly saying, I'm so grateful for my walk in closet. I'm so grateful for our backyard where I throw these amazing parties at.

[00:30:57] Shilamida: So grateful for our pool to swim in. And my son said to me about mommy, we don't have those things. And I said, but Mikey, we're going to have those things. I know we're going to have those things and we need to act as though we already have it. And so in that same conversation, he said to me, mommy, I'm grateful that we have an oven.

[00:31:17] Shilamida: That's a double oven so that there's an oven that I could reach and cook in myself. And then he said, mommy, I'm grateful that we have a house that has a ping pong table in it. And wouldn't, it that when I met my husband. The first house that we moved into had the double oven and it came with a ping pong table. Tell me that isn't wild. How many times have you rented a house that happened to come with the gaming things that you wanted to come? But he fully manifested that. And it was because I started this practice with him every night and when he would go to his dad's, I wouldn't be grateful. I would forget because life would take me where it took me.

[00:32:02] Shilamida: And so I lived in this roller coaster of up and down, until I realized you're not being grateful all the time. And so here we are 16 years later, and I can tell you that my almost nine and 10 year old in 10 years, maybe a handful of times that they have not practiced gratitude with me. Game changer.

[00:32:29] Homaya: Shil, I remember being in your presence practicing gratitude twice and it was such a spectacular experience.

[00:32:43] Shilamida: Thank you.

[00:32:44] Homaya: You want to be grateful for a moment here with us? Yeah, 

[00:32:48] Shilamida: my life. I'm grateful for my voice. I'm grateful for the ability to activate others. I'm grateful for the opportunity to be seen. I'm grateful for my home. I'm grateful for my husband. I'm grateful for my children. I'm grateful for the love that I receive. I'm grateful for all of the opportunities that life has to give me.

[00:33:07] Shilamida: I'm grateful for the ability to taste. I'm grateful for the ability to see. I'm grateful for the ability to hear. I'm grateful that all of my senses are aroused and heightened all of the time. I'm grateful for the beautiful friendships that I have. I'm grateful for the relationships that come my way. I'm grateful.

[00:33:26] Shilamida: I'm grateful. I'm grateful. And there was a time. where I couldn't be grateful. That's why I needed my son to help me because when I looked around my apartment, I hated my life. I hated where we lived. I hated the air conditioners in the window. I hated the fact that I didn't have a washer and dryer in my apartment. I hated.

[00:33:49] Shilamida: And then I shifted that hate. And I started thinking about all of the people living out on the street. And then I was grateful for my apartment. I started thinking about the people that didn't have clean clothes and I was grateful for the fact that I could walk across the street and wash my laundry with my quarters.

[00:34:07] Shilamida: I started thinking about the children that would never wear a pair of shoes. And I started being grateful for the shoes that I had. And so I needed to take myself to these horrible places in order to feel the gratitude of my life. Because we get stuck in The knowing that things are supposed to be this way, right?

[00:34:29] Shilamida: This is the apartment that I live in and this is good enough, but no, it's gratitude. You could be living on the street, you could not have shoes, but that's not the life that I was incarnated into. I was incarnated into a life that has opportunity and has possibilities where the sky isn't even the limit, right?

[00:34:51] Shilamida: And That's where I needed to go. And with my father, when I would grieve, it was so hard for me. He was the love of my life. He was the parent that was everything for me. And I would cry and I would cry. And finally I stopped crying because I would think about all of the children who didn't have a father.

[00:35:13] Shilamida: And I would think about all of the children who got abused by their fathers, and I would think about all of the children that didn't get to experience the love that I got to experience from my father. And that's how I was able to move through the grief, with the gratitude of knowing that I received more Then a lot of people in this life and gratitude. It's what we have. It's the secret. If you could be grateful for what you have now in this moment, every single thing that you desire will come your way. It's inevitable. And that's why my life is so beautiful right now, because I know that everything that I've asked for is on its way to me.

[00:35:56] Shilamida: I just need to be patient. I need to live through the void. I need to be okay with the moments where nothing is happening because everything is actually happening.

[00:36:08] Homaya: Yeah. And everything is happening. So one of the beautiful things is to recognize first how beautiful your life currently is.

[00:36:18] Shilamida: It's amazing

[00:36:19] Homaya: You're living in health, in wealth, in love, in impact, in evolution, in growth, in all the amazing things that one can pray for. And still, the gratitude is leading forward and leading forward. One of the things that I love, tell me my love, one of the things, go ahead.

[00:36:45] Shilamida: because the truth is that I'm programmed I actually work very hard to be this positive. What that friend pointed out in that day, the negativity, the complaining, If I'm not in my spiritual work, you will find me. Negative and complaining. I actually have to put forth the effort. So when you see this happy person all the time, I work to be this happy all the time.

[00:37:20] Shilamida: Because my programming, my lineage, the stereotype, I came from a Russian background, I was born in the Ukraine, and the Russian stereotype, they need to see it before they believe it. And so it was a lot of reprogramming for me. And if I don't stay in my work all the time, I fall back into those old habits.

[00:37:46] Homaya: And you feel that the gratitude can, is taking you up not to fall.

[00:37:53] Shilamida: A hundred percent, the gratitude shifts everything immediately. As soon as I hear my, as soon as I hear the complaining coming out of my mouth, I stop, I take it back and I find something to be grateful for. It's so easy to complain. It's so easy to complain. I can walk into any room and rip everything apart.

[00:38:15] Shilamida: Because I am an attention to detail person. I love beautiful things. I love art. I love magic. And so it's so easy for me to walk into a room and start, or a meal or anything. And instead to be able to stop that thought to catch yourself, Because that's the key, right? It's not that you're never going to judge anybody again, right?

[00:38:40] Shilamida: Like I'm human. It's not that I don't judge. It's I catch myself in the judgment and I'm able to stop it in a track and then I'm able to reverse it with gratitude. You shift the energy. You have to shift the energy.

[00:38:56] Homaya: Yeah. So one of the things that I wanted to share a few minutes ago, and I feel that it's very relevant, is that we relate to gratitude as a reaction, right? We react with gratitude. Someone is giving us something, or we receive, we still, we first get it, and then we're grateful. And what we are speaking here is about innate gratitude is an absolute gratitude.

[00:39:21] Homaya: It is. Non reactive gratitude is a gratitude state as a state of being as a state of living as a constant experience that from time to time being pulled to fill it or express it. It's a whole different attitude towards gratitude that I've been with you in a certain period in your journey. Where there was like, okay, I'm complaining and complaining.

[00:39:50] Homaya: And then you were pushed, I would even say. Are you aware that there are more layers of gratitude, there's higher ceiling, if at all there is a ceiling, for even being more grateful? And I feel that this is also important for us to realize That sometimes it is, as easy it is to be negative, it is also easy to fall asleep when things feels good and feels okay, and then there is like a little bitterness from here and there coming in, and you like, you dismantle it, and you are grateful, but then there's There's more love, there's more light, there's more wealth, there's more joy, there's more gratitude as a vehicle to the next step, and the next step, and the next step.

[00:40:44] Shilamida: Yeah. Yeah. When we started this call before the call, we were talking about how is life and I said, life is so good. And it's because I didn't think it was possible to love at this level. I didn't think it was possible after I met my husband to experience. love anymore.  I don't need to hide anymore. Before I used to talk about freedom because that is my core value. My core value is freedom. We came here to live free and then we have all these rules that we have to follow, all of these laws that we have to follow, but I don't really believe that there's a right or a wrong.

[00:44:18] Shilamida: I think that there is experience, right? 

[00:44:42] Shilamida: that was chosen for those souls. People have to live through the duality. We don't know happy without sad.

[00:45:06] Shilamida: We don't know joy without anger. We don't know anything without the opposite emotion. And so that's why these horrible things are happening on our planet. Because that's a part of that soul contract. If we really broke it down, do you think that someone came to this earth wanting to not have food, not have shoes, to live in the poorest of conditions?

[00:45:32] Shilamida: But the truth is that they chose that. That was a part of the experience that they needed to experience in order to live out eternally blissfully. And I truly believe that no matter how you live on this planet, you're either going to come back and experience it all over again, or you get to live in that bliss, happiness, and tapping into that energy of knowing I'm going to live this life as best as I possibly can, because I don't want to come back and repay karma.

[00:46:05] Shilamida: I want to pay it now. So if I did you wrong, I need to face that now. And maybe in the heat of the moment, I don't see it. But I always end up seeing it. And that's the beautiful part of the journey.  We're coming together for a reason. And then I know from acupuncture that we cycle through experiences. We were in Aruba and my wrist started hurting out of nowhere.

[00:47:12] Shilamida: Like my wrist started hurting so bad I was not even mobile. And I actually asked my husband to take me to urgent care. And you know how I live, I don't go to doctors. It takes a lot for me to have to go seek out medical attention, but I was like, Oh my God, if I don't fix this, how am I going to pack? How am I going to make it through the week?

[00:47:30] Shilamida: My husband joined me to urgent care. I walked inside. I saw the line. I saw everybody with masks on. I turned around, I walked out. I said, take me to the nearest pharmacy. Take me to the nearest pharmacy. I'm going to figure this out on my own. And I put on, like one of those wrist spray, like whatever the wrist things, and I started going back in time, when did I hurt my wrist?

[00:47:50] Shilamida: When in my life did I have an experience where this is coming back to me? And I couldn't pinpoint something, but there was a time in my life where I needed attention so bad that I made myself sick for attention. I would take myself to the hospital so that people could feel sorry for me. And so I started doing some of my practices.

[00:48:12] Shilamida: I started doing the Ho'oponopono. I'm sorry, please forgive me. I love you and thank you. Within 48 hours, my wrist was healed like nothing had happened. And so the same thing, I have the shoulder thing that's been bothering me for a couple of weeks. And yesterday I went to the chiropractor and on the way to the chiropractor office, I remembered when my little, when my middle guy was four months old, I got into a car accident and the seatbelt hurt my shoulder.

[00:48:41] Shilamida: And so I said that to the chiropractor, I said, I think I might be cycling through that experience. And she said, whatever you bring your attention to comes forward. And so I started doing some of that spiritual work, forgiving the person that hit the car. The baby was in the car. There was a lot of trauma that came with that.

[00:49:00] Shilamida: My shoulder started to feel better.

[00:49:02] Homaya: Yeah.

[00:49:03] Shilamida: So nothing just happens for me.

[00:49:05] Homaya: Nothing just happened for no one.

[00:49:07] Shilamida: Yeah, exactly.

[00:49:08] Homaya: just happened for no one. Nothing just happened for no one. And yeah, and then again, when you are speaking about good or bad or something is happening to you or whatever drama triangle, which is part of this trigger activation and so on, you can stay in the drama and find your position in the drama and actually travel through different locations of the drama, whether you are the villain or the victim, et cetera.

[00:49:37] Homaya: And one of the biggest life experiences is where you don't need the drama anymore in order to move, you don't need the drama anymore in order to evolve, in order to know yourself, in order to connect, in order to allow energy to move in motion. You don't need that anymore. It is just when the mind is still operating and having the main responsibility to what to do and how to move.

[00:50:04] Homaya: But if you would look at your life and you look at all the breakthroughs that you described today, none of them were out of drama. All of them were out of connection. The connection that you had, right?

[00:50:17] Shilamida: But there was a lot of drama.

[00:50:20] Homaya: Of course. Of course.

[00:50:24] Shilamida: But yeah the drama was my manifestation of not being able to deal with things. I didn't know how to deal with the life that I was living.

[00:50:36] Homaya: Yeah. Okay, my love.

[00:50:39] Homaya: Long story, and there's so many aspects in it to still look and explore. Thank you for being here. Thank you for your gratitude and your beautiful prayer. I love hearing you grateful. Thank you.

[00:50:59] Shilamida: Thank you. I love you so much. Thank you for having me today. Thank you for this beautiful conversation. Thank you for listening to my story. Thank you to the listeners who are listening. And thank you to God, universe, the angels, the ancestors, everybody that was here with us today to facilitate this moment.