Bougie Bayou Witches Podcast
"Would you compete for a man/women? "
Ever found yourself in the emotional tug-of-war, questioning if you should fight for someone's love or gracefully bow out? That's the heart of our latest Bougie Bougie Witches podcast episode, where Tia and our special guest, Egypt, join the circle to unravel the complexities of love, competition, and self-worth. With a blend of humor and raw honesty, we address the modern dating arena's unwritten rules, challenging the notion that love requires a battlefield.
This spirited conversation takes an unexpected turn into the realm of gender roles and the courage it takes to step outside societal expectations. We laugh at our hesitations, share the trials and triumphs of making the first move, and dissect the emerging trend of women proposing to men. But it's not all giggles and light-hearted banter; we dive deep into the pressures shaping our self-image and the paramount importance of self-love, even when the path to finding it is lined with the thorns of rejection and mixed signals.
As we wrap up, we find solace in the shared experiences of letting go and the transformative power of solitude on our journey to self-discovery. Navigating the aftermath of past loves, from the euphoria of first encounters to the lingering shadows of parental influence, we emerge with a message of empowerment. With Egypt's wisdom resonating through our discussion, we champion the belief that investing in oneself and cultivating self-love is the ultimate triumph, not just for our hearts, but for the legacy we pass on to the future lovers and dreamers. Join us for an episode that promises laughter, enlightenment, and a fresh perspective on competing for affection in today's world.
Ever found yourself in the emotional tug-of-war, questioning if you should fight for someone's love or gracefully bow out? That's the heart of our latest Bougie Bougie Witches podcast episode, where Tia and our special guest, Egypt, join the circle to unravel the complexities of love, competition, and self-worth. With a blend of humor and raw honesty, we address the modern dating arena's unwritten rules, challenging the notion that love requires a battlefield.
This spirited conversation takes an unexpected turn into the realm of gender roles and the courage it takes to step outside societal expectations. We laugh at our hesitations, share the trials and triumphs of making the first move, and dissect the emerging trend of women proposing to men. But it's not all giggles and light-hearted banter; we dive deep into the pressures shaping our self-image and the paramount importance of self-love, even when the path to finding it is lined with the thorns of rejection and mixed signals.
As we wrap up, we find solace in the shared experiences of letting go and the transformative power of solitude on our journey to self-discovery. Navigating the aftermath of past loves, from the euphoria of first encounters to the lingering shadows of parental influence, we emerge with a message of empowerment. With Egypt's wisdom resonating through our discussion, we champion the belief that investing in oneself and cultivating self-love is the ultimate triumph, not just for our hearts, but for the legacy we pass on to the future lovers and dreamers. Join us for an episode that promises laughter, enlightenment, and a fresh perspective on competing for affection in today's world.
Hello, welcome to bougie body witches podcast. This is Tony, I'm the host and this is my co-host. Come on up, and this is my guest.
Speaker 2:Egypt. This is my guest.
Speaker 1:All right, today we're gonna be talking about would you compete for a man slash woman. So we want to know your views and ideas and all that. Like I said, you can always, you know, come in below, but we're gonna go ahead and get started with Tia. Would you compete for me, mmm?
Speaker 2:you know, honestly, because I feel like I shouldn't. Like, if you really love me and you really want to be with me, I there should be no reason why you're focused on another woman. I should have to compete. Okay, with another woman to. If I have to compete with another woman to Try to show you how much I want you, I don't need to be with you. Okay, I don't. That needs to be what about you.
Speaker 1:Come on, no, I'm not competing for no man. Now, you know I'm a G when so like, I'm very giving and you know Trusty and loyal. But I'm not gonna compete, I'm gonna go, I'm not gonna change who I am, you know, but at the same time I'm not gonna compete. If I know that you got somebody else, or whatever, you know I'll back up. I may still, you know, mess around with you.
Speaker 1:All right but I'm gonna back up and you know, let you be with her. I'm not gonna compete for you, for a reason. No make sense I don't have to right, what about you? You just let you compete.
Speaker 3:I don't feel like it's competing for me, because you cannot compete with no comparison. My point you know, exactly I don't.
Speaker 3:I'm not gonna compete for your time nor energy, but I'm also gonna respect, just like I'm gonna have different people, you're gonna have different people. It's all about. I worry about my vibe with someone other than what you got, going on on the side when we're not speaking to each other, because I feel like I've always drawn people in, no matter what, just like that. So I always worry just about myself and I stay in my lane and it's never it's never proved me wrong. So I kind of just stay in my lane, but I'm myself. You can't be in the same lane as me. I've had. I've had I'm sorry, I've had issues where men that brought me up that I have texted them. They're my partners. I've never done anything with them and the women that they're with would be upset Just because it's my name and they know. They've know something about me or heard about me. Whatever it may be good or bad or whatever, but for sure my energy is unfuckable with. So therefore, people, be they, some Women will fear women like that. They'll be jealous of them.
Speaker 2:They're like oh, I don't like her, never met me.
Speaker 3:They never had a day in their life. I'm talking about when they mention the name, I'm like who is that? They're not and it's not even to be funny. It's like I don't even know you them and it's no beef.
Speaker 1:No, what's?
Speaker 2:so ever.
Speaker 1:What I compete for a man. First of all, I will be the one to tell you. You can go ahead and be with her, him, whatever you know, because at the end of the day, I don't want to run after nobody, I don't want to compete and have to hold me and no.
Speaker 2:Because you don't want me.
Speaker 1:Yeah, for me who I am and you, you got your ass out. Somebody else gonna be with them, because I want somebody that's gonna want to be with me, and me only. You know, I'm sorry, you know, you know.
Speaker 3:Now the other person, that's a different story but what if they don't look up to par?
Speaker 1:They don't look up to par.
Speaker 3:Yeah, what if they all about you? Beautiful spirit, but I Pistol.
Speaker 1:I can go be with one of us. It's not gonna keep your eyes on me. Wait, no, basically, oh, but oh.
Speaker 3:Women. We asked for a man that only wants us eyes on us, but, baby, they not gonna look like young GZ or eat just Elba do you hear what I'm? Saying, I'm just saying. I'm just saying they might be looking like Cuba good and junior from radio with a cop.
Speaker 1:We never know. We never know from all them filters being a baby. Why is he using a filter?
Speaker 3:as he wouldn't be cute to exactly they, they, they won't spotlight I know, maybe that's just me, but I ain't that a little feminine. No, I don't think.
Speaker 1:No, it's just, you know, just like females do it.
Speaker 2:Show me you.
Speaker 1:No, I never said. Here's the thing everybody use.
Speaker 2:Something within themselves, and you know.
Speaker 3:When you're.
Speaker 1:You know like sometimes, even when I'm out and about and I want to get a cute picture or whatever, sometimes I throw a filter, but like Feminine, because they use filters, because just like a woman wants it, you know, cover up. Okay right they can do the same things, but like every picture would.
Speaker 3:I.
Speaker 1:Have seen you don't a guy to use filters, but like Miss. Tell me who is this.
Speaker 3:It's a social media, they feel like it's a social media world. They forget about reality so quickly. That's why so that I won't compete for y'all simple money, that's all it is.
Speaker 1:You know what I mean by like competing is. I'm not gonna see here and be trying to go off or or try to go my way out. You know for me to get your attention if you can't accept me for who I am and you see somebody else and they catch your attention, they're gonna be with them. I'm not gonna run a chase behind you. It's too many other more fishes in the city. You know PLF, plenty of fishes.
Speaker 3:So yeah, but it's so it you know it's a nice TV, something to do.
Speaker 1:You're best. But no, some females, don't you know? Think you know, think that way. A lot of females like you know, if they really want to be with somebody, they're gonna do whatever they can to keep that person around.
Speaker 1:And you know, I have, you know, known females to do certain things like I won't do it me personally, I'm just gonna still be the person that I am. You know it's not competing with another woman. But you know, I know people that, do you know, change up things because they really want to be with that person.
Speaker 2:What's all the?
Speaker 1:feeling on that, when you know you got a female, that or a male, not just a female, but really, really want to be with a person and what they ugly Possibly no. You know, a woman want to be with a guy. A woman or a child.
Speaker 3:Author.
Speaker 1:Alter they look, alter their not comfortable with themselves.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and they unhappy as hell to get you know more attention from public and and In the man that they're with or woman or whatever. So, with that being said, it's not gonna do anything, because if y'all too are not meant to be, you're not gonna be, you can go, do all the body enhancement and all. It's not. If they don't want to be with you, don't be with you, you know so like why sit here and keep chasing them and try to force them to be with you? I'm not gonna run into a room. I'm not gonna compete yeah you can have you.
Speaker 1:I'm not tripping, that's just me. Hmm, and if it's meant to be, it mean if that person chooses to come back best.
Speaker 3:Quick little nigga go. Yeah, come back in my book. You know that I'm living my best life.
Speaker 1:So how do you feel about the man approaching the woman, like you know, since it's we all into me, and so how do you feel, egypt, if a man approached you? You know I'm saying like he saw something he won't they always do, because I don't go for a man.
Speaker 3:You tell you honest truth and women will not accept this or admit this is I do not have. I don't know. I deal with rejection. That's right. That is one of my flaws and that is something that I am comfortable enough with sharing I don't know how to deal with rejection. So therefore, I've never, I've never tried to go after a man.
Speaker 1:Just because he buy percent of the work?
Speaker 2:Yeah, but I have encountered.
Speaker 3:They have came for me or they always can say something. First thing, Of course. I mean, it is what it is. It is what it is. I don't go for me. It is what it is. You don't have to respect it. That's fine, all that. Oh, will you marry me with women? It was going viral for a minute when the proposal to me?
Speaker 1:I do not. Was not raised that way, I don't need you have to get on what? Need asked my daddy or ask whomever my elder is Just a post like you think women's are really are. It's some women that's taking the stand they want that man, so they go get on that me and ask you to marry.
Speaker 3:I'm sorry oh.
Speaker 2:I'm not switching the rose.
Speaker 1:I want that man, I want that man to do that. You know, I mean and I agree with that. But you know, when I did see a couple videos of women's proposal, I really I thought they were doing it just to go viral.
Speaker 3:Down talk. Women is very simple mind and women who will do anything for love. Yeah and I think that's not talked about enough. You gotta love yourself, yeah, because you're looking like a fool trying to alter your looks and change yourself for a nigga that's gonna go out and cheat on you anyway and I know you're steady taking them back because, oh, this is who I like and this is who looks good.
Speaker 3:This is what what I want. This is, this is who looks good on these Instagram posts with me. So this is what I want? No, it's not. You need to love somebody so you have somebody that wants you for you.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and I agree with that. I agree with you, yeah, 100% on that, because you know that's one of the generational curses that I'm breaking it breaking within my family, because a lot of women's in my family. Oh, they just got to have a man. Got to, got to have a man love your own company would you um? Would you approach a man or would you prefer the man that approach you?
Speaker 2:um, I Think it kind of goes it'd be nice to approach me, but then I will approach them like if you're attractive and you're cute and I was like, okay, yeah, yeah, I will approach you, but I prefer you approach me.
Speaker 3:Okay. I have approached a guy before we all have yeah.
Speaker 1:Sometimes they say close enough, don't get fed to me, since something you want you can. You know this.
Speaker 2:I have, but will I?
Speaker 1:now know I haven't passed.
Speaker 2:I don't want to. So what changed?
Speaker 1:So what changed when I started learning how to love myself Big up? So, by you, okay. So you think a woman has less self-love? Is she approaching a man? No, I don't think a woman has less self-love, but I feel like if a man's interested in me, he will come approach me Big up. You know what I'm saying? Right, and I don't knock any woman, because it's some women that like it. They like to go after what they want. Like I said, a closed mouth don't get bad, but I don't like rejection. And if a guy's interested in me and they see something they want, I feel like they should come to me.
Speaker 2:Why should I go to them? You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1:Because then they make me wonder do he really want me? Or was he just carrying on conversation or just exchange numbers, so he wouldn't be me and hurt my feelings? But men don't like rejection either. Yeah, men don't like rejection either. I was just fine, men don't like rejection either.
Speaker 2:So men cannot hear the rejection. Oh no, you didn't hear the effect I'm talking about your booty face anyway. What.
Speaker 1:I just wanted to sleep with you.
Speaker 3:Okay, and you did.
Speaker 1:Exactly, you still got the reaction. Oh, and then?
Speaker 3:there's the imaginary homeboy. My homeboy said who is your homeboy? Call him Because. I've had situations where my name being so many people's mouths, and they'll get on the phone and I'm there and they'll be like, oh, I was just playing. Exactly Because that's that pressure, because what? Who are you? I'm not the only one who's been in my life, but yet my name in your mouth it tastes good, don't it, I know it.
Speaker 1:I think that question really can go both ways, I just I don't think a woman have less self-esteem if they do choose to approach me, because a woman can be filled with high confidence.
Speaker 2:It's this slide, that's me, that's the person.
Speaker 1:I'm fun to see People forget my Very conversational too, and I'm shy.
Speaker 3:See, I'm funny, I'm outgoing oh she's flirting.
Speaker 2:No, I'm funny as hell.
Speaker 3:And a lot of people do get back at me like that.
Speaker 1:I don't even like you, like that. Yeah, look at this. Men can get confused so much. Oh, she won't say, because I joke.
Speaker 3:I joke all day just to make time pass. It's good to get. I heal with laughter. That's how I heal people around me.
Speaker 1:That's good. I love to make people laugh, I love to be mad and smile and I'm just being upset and mad and frowning yeah no, I always bring hot energy of fun and laughter and love and kittiness.
Speaker 3:That's me. So a lot of men will get that oh, she won't be like that. I don't even want the niggas that want me. I don't even want. I don't even want these people on my phone.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that question, let me eat that question. So, tia, I have a question.
Speaker 3:You said that it's okay to I understand that you go. I feel like that's a strong woman because, baby, I can't take no rejection, because do you want to fight?
Speaker 2:Because I feel like you're going to get rejected plenty of times in your life, and sometimes rejection is protection. So you may think like you wanted and stuff, but then at the same time you might be getting protected.
Speaker 3:But then that's why I don't go after it.
Speaker 2:But I don't think people should be scared of rejection or fear, because at the end of the day you're going to get rejected in your whole life.
Speaker 1:You're going to get more nose than you're going to get. Yeses, I'm shy, so they got to come talk to me.
Speaker 3:Tony's going to stare your ass down for months because she actually have a conversation with me. I was shopping at Tony's store for, I think, like well, at least a good four months. But I started talking to her because you're going to listen to me, and then it's just like I grew on her and we grew on each other, because I spaced out too, because she won't see me for a month or so.
Speaker 2:And then I come at you like oh, where you been.
Speaker 3:Oh, you miss me. You notice I wasn't here. Oh my God. But no, like it's the same thing. Rejection is something big, but I feel like going after a man. I feel like that's big as a woman because I don't like rejection. That's one of my flaws. I have to work on that.
Speaker 1:But do you consider rejection as a part of it having pride and ego as?
Speaker 3:well, off the show. I'm cocky Because what I'm not going to sit in a lie to you like that. I'm real cocky. I know myself A lot of times.
Speaker 1:Sometimes too, I've learned that when you do go approach a guy, he can either be married in a relationship, or something. So that's why I know. I feel like if they're interested in you and they see something they want they don't come to you. And they can still be married and in a relationship. Say it again, mom. I'm like what is that? They just say it, they should be. No, you're right, they can.
Speaker 2:So it's either or but it's on them to tell you that In my way, so you can say it again Say it again no, no, you can't Okay, I agree, but then I also agree. If he really loves that woman, though, then he's going to tell another woman Before he can even tell me.
Speaker 1:I'm going to ask how many children you have. That's it I don't know if he's going to have a reason, to have a reason.
Speaker 3:Sometimes I don't know, sometimes I don't, I'd take mine off sometimes. Tony, I'm going to say that, oh baby.
Speaker 1:It was probably like a baby Tony. I was going to say I love a. I'm 10 years.
Speaker 2:So, God he never wore a ring.
Speaker 1:So I'm just like, just because a person don't have a ring on them.
Speaker 3:I'm not a ring person Baby.
Speaker 2:And what if that?
Speaker 1:woman in there or somebody you know, a friend or something like that. They just probably you know over the top that right there can start a bunch of drama in there. Like I said, I would have that man come approach me but I'm going to approach them, that's respectful, that's respectful Cause, like I said, it goes both ways. If I see something, that's just, oh, I really I'm just, I'm the queen, I mean if I keep giving each other the eye.
Speaker 1:Now that's a different story. If you keep looking, he can't look at you. Hold on.
Speaker 3:Hold on, Hold on. What if you had a party and y'all keep giving the eyes but you still never had a conversation? He had a ring on him, but I will. I ain't calling him.
Speaker 1:So how does he read you after that? How he read you?
Speaker 3:after the party. But you still remember it in your, in your dreams. So how does, how is it supposed to reach you at this? You ain't got nothing.
Speaker 1:I mean y'all just don't keep staying. Okay, so you in a party, like she said, y'all both looking, looking like you're going to buy this and then you're going to bump back into each other again, that's spiritually canon. Let me get back to the question. We had a party y'all 45 minutes in and y'all just staring at each other Chemistry there and he just, I mean, you just want to get to know him.
Speaker 1:You ain't going to walk up to that man. I might beck him over here, so I'm going to see if he comes, but what is it?
Speaker 2:But what would you say to me? You're my what? Yeah, I'm just giving him a little finger.
Speaker 3:So okay, what if?
Speaker 1:you give him a finger and he just still staring. Okay, he just want to look. Okay, so you okay.
Speaker 2:So that's what you say Okay, so what?
Speaker 1:you saying that you're a back of him if he choose not to come, and you was like I'm not going to. That's a part of pride, yeah. That's a lot of pride.
Speaker 2:Mother, you and I business Very much.
Speaker 3:I'm just like if you know a lot of pride ego really stops a lot of younger for relationships.
Speaker 1:No, not all the time. I think it also protects you from a lot of fucking failures and relationships of hurt that you don't have to go through Because they say oh no, we're going to either make him or her come on up.
Speaker 3:Cause we might be blinded because we might want something, and they see through all that bullshit that we do not see through.
Speaker 1:And I can't watch y'all say it, but that chemistry I'm trying to get while I'm still in the staring contest with him, oh my God. I'm mad with him because she ain't going to budge. I already know she's not. I already know she's not. I'm just messing with it at this point.
Speaker 3:That gets spiritually cancelled. I'm done. She will have a staring contest for five hours and still won't budge. With that smile. She got that little smirk on her and get the budge of fingers. I swear what she say back in you, okay.
Speaker 1:You know how you do that? Yeah, so you don't go far. With your fingers to the head. But you know we do back in the day. I already know, I know.
Speaker 3:What y'all doing back in the day. Let me see.
Speaker 1:Oh, so something we wanted. We wanted to go throw that stuff on it. Oh hi, just dancing, you know what I mean. Bye, bye.
Speaker 3:We know that we not saying just going back in the Sam's Grocery Club, now People like to comment, say ignorant stuff. So no In a good setting of dancing and having fun. Just slide up on, that's it.
Speaker 1:I'm going to slide on. I'm going to slide on. When I had the good knees, Look, can you all say can?
Speaker 3:you drop it. I'm gonna bring it back up like a Luke warm.
Speaker 1:now I'm like I can't do it, that's the end of it. You drop it. It's so dropping like it's high, so much because now the knees like dropping and that's it, Baby, I can drop it that far.
Speaker 3:I was so sore after you reported.
Speaker 1:I can't drop nothing else. I can drop it, but I'm gonna be a little slow bringing it back up Real slow I'm gonna do a whole new dance on the floor so I can right there.
Speaker 3:You don't even know what I'm doing, but you gotta get the knees back. I'm trying to get them back, knees. Don't do that. No more, can't do it. That's the snap.
Speaker 1:I can't do it. Look, you stepped into your 40s and it's just like I wish you would. I wish you would. I was like who else would want the good knees instead of dropping like it's high?
Speaker 3:Hey, y'all would break your knees.
Speaker 1:I mean, I could feel it dropping and bring it back up and just a little extra slow.
Speaker 3:I can do the. I can do the. I can do the. I can do the private. I can do the rocking on my knees for about five minutes, the STs up in their necks I can do the. I can do the I can do the three day.
Speaker 2:Give me a couple shots.
Speaker 3:I give you 10, 15 strong, oh yeah a couple shots. I'm giving you seven. I'm the ooh yeah, so what's the question?
Speaker 1:Have you ever like honestly be honest in the past? Have you ever competed for a man? Uh, no, Okay, what about you, tim?
Speaker 2:Yes, okay, what about you, mom? Uh, no, and that's what they didn't give me.
Speaker 3:Nowhere, never competed but I took a nigga bitch. I took a bitch nigga before Okay. I never could control me, Like I said you ain't gotta do it.
Speaker 2:I'm a true.
Speaker 1:I don't know if that person he can perceive it as that. I ain't gonna feel. Okay, I don't know if that person probably perceives it as that, but no Me in my mind, often to change this, often to do this, often to get him. Okay, I wish, I would, I feel like like if a man's talking to you and say, well, you know, I got my eyes on this other woman and stuff like that, like you gonna be like no, don't leave baby, look, hold on.
Speaker 2:Or you're not gonna get a candle or something I wish.
Speaker 3:I would burn it you know, so you can try to get him why I can't just do a money spell and get over that.
Speaker 2:Thank you, I'm not people get confused when I say I do voodoo.
Speaker 3:I do it for knowledge protection and mercy. I don't care about love candle and work you have to keep on doing. That's why you go and tell me, because I got the patience.
Speaker 1:It's a waste of time. I mean, I'm not knocking nobody for doing it, but I would rather bring myself money and prosperity.
Speaker 3:I don't know how to get over it.
Speaker 2:That's when we come beating phone.
Speaker 1:Now I will light a red candle for self love. Don't get me wrong a red and a pink candle Pink.
Speaker 3:yeah, I'm gonna pay for self love.
Speaker 1:But I figure, when you get to that level where you pour in a lot of love, being that true love will come.
Speaker 2:Yeah, what about you? I've done it, she'll. I've done it before. I competed, but it didn't get me anywhere. And I started doing it where I was spending more money than I had to really show for, like I wasn't doing nothing for myself, like I'm sure I'm like, okay, maybe if I buy him this new phone he'll come this way. Let me buy him some clothes, let me go ahead, and what made you do that?
Speaker 2:To be honest, I just wanted love, just to feel love, because I felt like, because I was a homebody I don't go nowhere, I don't go out with people and nothing. And then I was with that person from like, like the age of 13 to like just a few years ago.
Speaker 3:They said let him go.
Speaker 2:Cause you still gotta hold on to him.
Speaker 3:Do you still have a hold busy? Still have a hold on him. You don't talk to him at all. No, last time you talked to him, don't lie. I'll say the marriage is chipped. Keep playing.
Speaker 2:It's a tea toning month, oh, what so, not a year? I was talking about the one, the first one, the first one.
Speaker 1:No, okay, okay, no. The first one, so it's been about two months Okay, that sounds right.
Speaker 2:How many months? You said about two months. Oh no, he's been longer than two months Because I don't text messages. I will say, I will say, with about four or five months I have not spoke to him.
Speaker 3:I don't have nothing to do with him. That was the first one. We said let him go. He said, oh, I let him go Four or five months ago. It's not that much, but I love that you let him go.
Speaker 1:It's because I did get the chance I'm talking about.
Speaker 3:okay, I heard you.
Speaker 2:Like loud and clear. But I couldn't be with that person again just because there's nothing there anymore. I think it's just because I was young and that's the first person I was with.
Speaker 1:First person everything so that's what I attached myself to. So you would never come to him. No.
Speaker 2:No he no. Now that I'm not with him, I look at him differently.
Speaker 1:What about the?
Speaker 3:other guy the other guy Go with the DJ. Who's this?
Speaker 2:Let me know the other guy I'm going off with Mmm. In the beginning I would've, but the more that I'm not in contact with that person it makes me look at you differently. So once it's like out of my, out of sign, like I look at you completely differently versus like if we were seeing each other every day, seeing each other every weekend, constantly with each other, then I'm be like yeah, that's mine. Like ain't nobody finna say what's mine.
Speaker 1:I don't care who you are, it's okay so you don't have to be. But you say it ain't. Nobody won't take what you're saying. Don't be no, Jayden.
Speaker 2:Alexis, no, I'm saying in the beginning, okay he can handle it.
Speaker 3:Wait, what's in the? What's Blue Face's baby mama name Jayden Alexis Chris. No, jayden, oh Jayden, don't be Jayden or the other one cause yeah, child.
Speaker 1:He entertaining honey. He keep on getting her. Yeah, trying to get that movie with her.
Speaker 3:And that's the proof Cause Chris Shaw used to reach out. Now, when she, on her own, look at where he at Now, you're gonna be the baby with him.
Speaker 1:But I think, okay what you said, you made a valid point in the beginning, when you were younger. A lot of young women they do do that because they don't know better, Cause that's the first person and then I think with it too, if like even down to your moms cause your moms portray like what you see your mama do and what you see.
Speaker 1:Your product of your environment. So that's what I'm seeing, but everybody's different. You probably looked up to your mama a lot and married and loved her and stuff. And me it was a little different. I was more of a daddy's girl so I was communicating. Oh, you had your daddy in your life, people don't know that's effective.
Speaker 2:I didn't have my daddy. Until then, my daddy was a whole, whole outcher.
Speaker 3:You understand me. He used to take me to his side home's house and I'd be eating with the kids while they doing whatever, and we playing the game, watching TV. Yeah, you see, oh, father.
Speaker 2:Because my dad, he was in my life. I ain't tripping, so, man, you get up in there. My dad was in my life, but he was more of the type to I'ma go out every single night. So was my daddy, and so that's what he did.
Speaker 1:He was near physically.
Speaker 2:But he was never Emotionally, or so that.
Speaker 1:I was like that's kind of.
Speaker 2:Yeah, until I got older, but now that I'm older, the damage is already done. Yeah, so now that sticks with me because it's so you can fix it.
Speaker 1:Yes, you can. You can't fix it, like she said, but you fix it at your time right.
Speaker 3:That way, when you, when it's fixed is completely exactly, and you won't it's not rush yeah but I'm gonna tell you this until you fix them, daddy and mama issues, you're not gonna date successfully. Yeah you're not gonna love yourself since. That's because you have to forgive yourself of being so angry with them and hold me.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so you definitely got to and I say if you have anger towards a past relationship, let it go, because it will literally stop you from any type of relationship, then gonna be mad at the next product, the next man that comes.
Speaker 1:Because I still had a lot of resentment and anger Towards an X and you know it stopped me having successful dates. Yeah cuz I thought everybody was going to treat me like no, let me say something.
Speaker 2:Even even to this day, that man thought we was never in a relationship. So I did all that. Competing for what Exactly? Yeah, it did. It always made me mad. But then, once that was finally said to me is like you got to know yourself.
Speaker 3:You got to pour yourself. Love to yourself. Yeah, you need to get one of them. Crystals, tony said love Chris. Hey, you know it broke and I thought I've been shot and ever since I think you I? Used it for like six months.
Speaker 1:I'm gonna cuz, because they were Necklace and it just broke. Yeah, no, lily was wearing it.
Speaker 2:I said do it. I do think I look.
Speaker 3:I look at myself differently now and I upset.
Speaker 1:I am obsessed with myself because I feel like now you know what I'm at that point, yeah. Boy I used to be so and it may sound funny, but and I know another lot of women's can relate I used to be so embarrassed about loving myself. Yeah, you know. I used to think like, okay, you know me, artery myself and making myself priority always selfish, no it, I know that now.
Speaker 3:They don't have that. That goes up to.
Speaker 1:Like when you start learning how to take a break on being in relationships and dating. It teaches you how to love yourself. Cuz then you're spending time by yourself Talking to another guy. That's what I need to love myself and know my work, cuz I Was accepted anything. So you know it teaches you. You know to know your work and to love yourself.
Speaker 2:Boundaries are very important. I wish I would have. I wish I would have known what boundaries were like a long time ago. Yeah, but the good thing is, though, now that I know, for when I have children a daughter that she won't go through what I went through. Oh, that's why I? We. It can still be a chance.
Speaker 3:Exactly I have a seven year old daughter looking at me. When she say your mom, she think her mom is the biggest hustler, pimps. That is into that little girl, baby I am. Do you understand that I don't wait on nothing from I put it up to the dining room table. She'll tell you how my mom put our friends together. She don't know any different. She hasn't understand that. You know, at times mama might be crying in the restroom. She don't see that. She'll never see that. That's not what that's for. My daughter will not do that. You see, I'm saying I tell her you always love yourself and baby. When I say she is cocky, she is cocky and she she's. I don't like them. And they say Great, stay.
Speaker 1:That way we talk about orders. I don't have a daughter, but you got to do it for your sons too. Oh, the Sun, yeah, yeah you have to pour that into your boy, please do because, if not, you know, they can get confused, Emotionless yeah, is that motionless exactly?
Speaker 3:and then that is so big. We were talking about that at work yesterday. There's a there's a worker and he works with me knees, you know, likes the same sex. But it was like his dad accepted him and a lot of black strong women do not accept if their son comes out gay or something. They do not let them express their emotions and I feel like that is where sometimes we fought, falter and fail, because these, these men are emotionally people and people too, yeah, they need a safe space.
Speaker 3:They're coming out of you. You gave them life. What do you mean? Suck it up, it's not sad enough. Tell me how you feel. So I realize. I tell myself. I don't tell myself, I'm a day woman because my mom and she.
Speaker 1:She had a. She wanted to song me. When I found the toro, I was with a woman. Oh, she was like give me the key back to my house. You know I didn't live with her at the time, but you know.
Speaker 3:Yeah, just having that urgency, yeah, you know, just like give me that and I'm like yeah, because she didn't follow the, because she didn't understand Shut up, just stand. She was. She was wrong, but my dad even turns back.
Speaker 2:Do you think this is?
Speaker 1:There's a lot of. If you think about it back in the days now, it's a lot different. You know more people are open, but back in the day, when you have has just coming out, thank you, like it's more people Because it's more talk about now. You listen, yes you. I'm sorry, but I think, because it's more talk me. They still have some parents that get upset, yeah, but at the same time they have more parents that are open.
Speaker 1:They accept you know, but I still, you know how people tell me oh they, mom is mad at you. I tell you, or they, you know, don't have nothing to do with them?
Speaker 2:Do you think it's because they like, don't understand, or is because they're ashamed? Because they're ashamed, ashamed, ashamed.
Speaker 1:And that's not how it should be A rapper being mad at you Cause they, like you know, or they have to be with a man. Yeah, yeah, oh, love, love is love, love is love, love is love, love is love.
Speaker 3:It doesn't matter the color, love is love. But that's what it is. Love is love. Love is about power from magic dreams.
Speaker 1:Love is love you know Me personally.
Speaker 2:Love who you love. I do not care, Cause I think that I'm not the one that has to do with it.
Speaker 1:Why I don't?
Speaker 3:have to judge you.
Speaker 2:I don't have to judge you.
Speaker 3:I rubbed my feet together every night of home. If it brings the world, I'm the first to be.
Speaker 1:The world is more open to it. The world is more open, I guess, because you see it on TV now. You see it here on the radio.
Speaker 2:People are more open.
Speaker 1:They're not afraid to hide it and try to keep it to themselves, cause they're scared of what somebody gonna say and how people gonna judge them and stuff like that. So yeah, it's true, but now that that that was a good topic, that was a really good topic. Love who you love.
Speaker 2:Love who you love you you have to. That's how you can do. You have to, and that the people don't accept you I mean parents is hard for you. You want your parents, you wanna make your parents proud of anything, but your parents is not you in the ascending realm. Exactly, you gotta be here for you.
Speaker 3:You have to learn. You're ascending in your journey. Cause once you hear it.
Speaker 1:parents are supposed to hear it out of life. That's the part of being in your office itself.
Speaker 3:You can still make somebody proud and be who you really are, but sometimes your parents were literally just here to give you birth, and then you had to figure the rest out. That's part of your journey. I was looking at the video and it said durability was part of the testing of the chosen ones. A lot of the time. How much, how durable are you? You go through a lot by yourself for a reason, and that reasoning is because your journey, you're gonna be very lonely right around.
Speaker 1:It's a very lonely journey. It's a very lonely journey.
Speaker 3:It is so, therefore, if we're always depending and it's okay to have support but if we're always depending on another person or a significant other, I feel like that's when it becomes a problem and you lose yourself. It's yeah, I gained weight in my football. It's like I was with my ex and I did not spend it.
Speaker 1:That's on the other next topic is that independent woman Baby?
Speaker 3:But I had to let that go. I found myself. I was in a dark place, I dealt with demons and I found. You know my journey with magic in Boodoo and Hootoo. It started with Hootoo and ended with Boodoo, so I feel like it's just all about what you pull from it, because it's not all about how much someone else loves you and competing for someone else. Compete for yourself, exactly, compete for yourself, refill yourself.
Speaker 1:Like running and chasing after someone that don't love you.
Speaker 3:If it's city walls, it's that it is.
Speaker 2:If they want you, you ain't got to compete in chasing, you know they gonna be chasing and competing around out here.
Speaker 1:My daddy used to always tell me. He said, baby, don't never chase no man, that man is interested in you and he wanna be with you. He's gonna go come to you. And I always kept that in style in my head because, again, my dad did give me a lot of you know he was pushing me, he was like my number one cheerleader and stuff like that. So you know that's why I speak highly of my dad, my mom. She had her own life, she had other things going on. So you know she was busy working and stuff like that providing for us. But that's always another topic. But, like I said, you know you wanna always make sure you love yourself and know not to chase around behind somebody that don't want you Like chasing and running compete. That's the way I want you?
Speaker 3:Yeah, there's a billion of people out here, billions, billions of people, plenty of fish, and now I got to tell you that. I always bill some people, somebody's gonna want you. Somebody, and they do want you. It's just sometimes you're not ready for that. Yeah.
Speaker 1:Sometimes you gotta finish out what you're doing. You gotta sign for your life and sometimes they don't want you to be distracted by being in a relationship, so they're gonna say you can stay single for a couple of years cause I got something that I can't do and I need your undivided attention and when it's time for you to have that person.
Speaker 2:They'll come.
Speaker 1:They'll come In the by time In the by time In the by time and I've learned to accept that Cause. At first I was like I wanna be in a relationship.
Speaker 2:I wanna be in a relationship.
Speaker 1:Now, that's the point. If they happy, they happy, I don't even care Cause I took this again to the money, but I've noticed.
Speaker 2:I'm a done better single Than I've ever done. Like, if I don't talk to a certain person within a week or so, I'm doing, I'm feeling better. Don't leave me like that. I'm doing better, I'm feeling better. It may bother me like messing my head for a little bit, like why are we not talking? Like what's going on, especially if a person go ghost? That's the one thing that'll make me mad. Do not go ghost.
Speaker 1:Like, at least give me an explanation.
Speaker 2:But if you go, that's gonna make me even more mad. And then I'm one of them people, too, where I feel like You're not gonna miss out closure.
Speaker 1:Yeah, nope, you're not Cause God think is to where sometimes you're not gonna get that closure.
Speaker 2:That ghost is that foreboding.
Speaker 1:That ghost is gonna get that hurt, yeah, but sometimes you just gotta take it as that was fear you're waiting for that person. You need to be with that person and just keep it moving.
Speaker 3:Yeah, and you weren't paying attention. So now they finna, just yank them, yeah, basically. Like a one, two, three, Two three both eyes Quit, trying to keep lightning. That we're candle again.
Speaker 1:I just go, I have to be quiet. But yeah, quit lightning. Yeah, because sometimes that spirit trying to tell you let the person go.
Speaker 3:That's what they keep blowing it up, right, right, blowing it up, and they're gonna stop lightning, they're gonna be gone taking another way until you finally be like enough is enough, Enough is enough.
Speaker 2:So, yeah, yeah, make something happen where you can't handle it. No more Hope, that far I know, but it shouldn't get there far.
Speaker 3:That's why, in the last episode of this line, you gotta get in tune with your ancestors, your spirit your spirit guys.
Speaker 2:Listen to them, have to listen to them.
Speaker 3:They will hear prayers. You can be in tune. You can just listen to them.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Listen is number one, listen to them. They send messages to you through people.
Speaker 2:And I want to think about it.
Speaker 1:I get messages from her. I get messages from her. I get messages from you. I get messages from customers that come in and I listen, because when they come in and tell me something that I probably thought about and it was on my mind, I tell you that's. Oh God, that's it. Thank you, send me the sign. So you gotta learn and listen. Everybody's not out to harm you or hurt you. Or actually they care about you. They just try to let you know what spirit's that.
Speaker 3:But sometimes people are selfish and they're there to help you, but you have to let them go. Like your job is done once you help somebody in there. You have to let them go. Their job is done. Let it go. Like you said, they want to always get closer, but they were there for a reason In the season, in the season, and that's it. It might be just one season. They ain't made the playoffs, okay, you?
Speaker 1:got. It Okay, they now Super Bowl. Now, they ain't making the playoffs, though we can.
Speaker 3:You know what?
Speaker 1:I'm saying they ain't made the playoffs.
Speaker 3:That's it.
Speaker 1:That's true. All right, so we're gonna get ready to wrap this up. So, tia, what is the message that you have for you know?
Speaker 2:Never compete with a man. It ain't worth it, uh-oh.
Speaker 1:She said that fast Don't compete.
Speaker 3:Quit.
Speaker 1:Quit, quit. I can tell you she took some from this herself. Yes, no worries, just love yourself Self.
Speaker 2:love. Things are awesome to do, even if it's spending time with nature Doing a nice batch. Just love yourself. Men are gonna be men. They're still gonna go with who they want to go with. You could be looking like Beyonce, kylie.
Speaker 3:Jenner, everybody, and they still talk to you. You know, kylie, you can have what.
Speaker 2:you know that was in your bank account.
Speaker 1:That man will still go with you that man, that man still won't cheat on you If he wanted you, he wouldn't cheat on you.
Speaker 3:So, it's like why run?
Speaker 1:and keep competing for this man, because if he don't want, you just take it as a sign.
Speaker 2:All I know is it took one good time for me to really well, actually it took two, but hey we ain't gonna make it to the playoffs, All right. So it's 8-9-10. Okay, Bobby took a good little minute, but I'm like I feel funny what you saying, what got you?
Speaker 1:off the go, all right. All right, don't put a time frame on it.
Speaker 3:Just so she can learn the lesson. Focus on the lesson.
Speaker 1:Don't. Oh, I took it back one, two, three, four Time is an illusion. But as long as you learn that lesson, that's the most important thing, that spirit.
Speaker 2:Well, honey, I'm learning the spirit then. Hey, then Woo Spirit gonna make you take heat back whether you want it to or not, and they're gonna keep doing it until.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I forgot it. They're gonna give it continuously Over again. Oh yes, imagine, mom.
Speaker 1:The best thing I would, a vice I would give, is self love. Yes, you know, pour it to yourself daily. You know I agree Me pouring it into myself. Buy myself stuff and you know, just treat myself like the goddess that I am. You know it really changed me a whole lot. So just love yourself. Don't compete with no man, don't worry.
Speaker 3:The eyebrows cute.
Speaker 2:Thank you.
Speaker 1:yes, they're beautiful, they do do do, do, do, do, do, do, do. Exactly. So, yeah, why about you, ej? Yeah, I'm sorry.
Speaker 3:I'm a prank what. Yeah, my advice is love yourself, overport yourself, compete with yourself. That's it. Compete with yourself, stay in your realm Like, don't stop trying to change. It's you versus you. Baby, choose you every, every time. Love yourself more and more Every time.
Speaker 1:Oh, that's my back T-shirt. You versus you, Mm-hmm. You versus you, baby, yeah, don't compete with nobody, I compete with myself.
Speaker 3:Say it again I'm with that. All being said.
Speaker 1:I compete with myself, I don't compete with nobody else. So, with that all being said, again, thank you all for watching.
Speaker 2:Thank, you guys.
Speaker 1:And I always like share subscribe Comment below and leave that feedback below until the next episode.
Speaker 2:Bye Hi.