Bougie Bayou Witches Podcast
"Jealousy"
Ever felt the sting of envy or been the target of someone's jealousy? Join me, Toni, and my charismatic guests, Bossa Nova B and Q the Alchemist, as we unravel the complex web of jealousy within our relationships. Together, we dissect what fuels this emotion and the impact it has, from our personal lives to our wider societal interactions. Hear us share our candid experiences, and discover how jealousy can manifest as a sign of mistrust, inequality, and even unfold into the desire for what others possess.
Jealousy doesn't have to be a relationship-ruiner; in fact, it can be a force for profound self-discovery and growth if navigated wisely. We get real about the thin line between healthy admiration and destructive envy, examining how the energy we radiate influences those around us. Get equipped with practical strategies to turn jealousy into a motivator, to protect your emotional well-being, and to foster partnerships that reflect your aspirations. We also open up about the power of constructive criticism, differentiating it from the negative spiral of jealousy, and how it can steer us towards personal betterment and relationship resilience.
Wrapping up our deep-dive, we spotlight the transformative power of love and unity in conquering jealousy. The conversation is a treasure trove of insights on maintaining ambition alignment within relationships, embracing teamwork, and celebrating communal success. So tune in, join the discourse, and let's uplift each other by turning jealousy on its head – because at the end of the day, it's about who we become through our challenges that truly matters. Don't forget to engage with us by sharing your journey and thoughts, as we foster a community of support and empowerment.
Ever felt the sting of envy or been the target of someone's jealousy? Join me, Toni, and my charismatic guests, Bossa Nova B and Q the Alchemist, as we unravel the complex web of jealousy within our relationships. Together, we dissect what fuels this emotion and the impact it has, from our personal lives to our wider societal interactions. Hear us share our candid experiences, and discover how jealousy can manifest as a sign of mistrust, inequality, and even unfold into the desire for what others possess.
Jealousy doesn't have to be a relationship-ruiner; in fact, it can be a force for profound self-discovery and growth if navigated wisely. We get real about the thin line between healthy admiration and destructive envy, examining how the energy we radiate influences those around us. Get equipped with practical strategies to turn jealousy into a motivator, to protect your emotional well-being, and to foster partnerships that reflect your aspirations. We also open up about the power of constructive criticism, differentiating it from the negative spiral of jealousy, and how it can steer us towards personal betterment and relationship resilience.
Wrapping up our deep-dive, we spotlight the transformative power of love and unity in conquering jealousy. The conversation is a treasure trove of insights on maintaining ambition alignment within relationships, embracing teamwork, and celebrating communal success. So tune in, join the discourse, and let's uplift each other by turning jealousy on its head – because at the end of the day, it's about who we become through our challenges that truly matters. Don't forget to engage with us by sharing your journey and thoughts, as we foster a community of support and empowerment.
Hello, I'm Toni from Bougie by you Witches podcast, and today we'll be talking about jealousy. I also have a few guests with me and I'm gonna go ahead and let them introduce themselves to you. Hi, hey, it's Bossa Nova B.
Speaker 4:Q the Alchemist.
Speaker 1:All right. So today we're gonna be talking about again jealousy. Now I'm gonna go ahead and get started with asking my guests some questions. Now, how do you personally define jealousy? How would you personally define jealousy?
Speaker 2:there's different kinds of jealousy. There's jealousy between friends, there's jealousy between spouse, couple, whatever. So it's just. Jealousy to me means no trust in between that relationship. So jealousy If you're jealous of me, you feel like I'm above you in a certain way and it should never be like that. To me it should be the same. We're all the same Right. So that to me is jealousy. It shouldn't exist, okay.
Speaker 1:What about you?
Speaker 3:boss, I feel jealousy is a certain person that sees somebody and they want something that they have, but they feel like they can't attain that. So they kind of. It's different from envy, it's more stronger I feel. It's more stronger I feel and it's like you want what that person has so bad that you're just like you start to have these ill feelings and ill intentions towards that person and it's just like why, why, why you can attain this too. You just have to put in the work or whatever the case may be. But I mean it could be with anybody. Could be friends, family, you know, co-workers, colleagues, any, anybody, yeah, children, you know. Your own child could be your own biggest hater, you know, but but yeah, um, that's just what I think about jealousy all right, what about you?
Speaker 4:sir, oh man, jealousy. It all stems from, um, a syndrome of uh, willingness syndrome, having us jealous of one another for no reason, no particular reason, and we all could come together and just create so much together. But the thing about it that we so stuck on this gotta have more than another person, or put their foot on her neck, or this crab in the bucket mentality, to where that we there's something that we have to release and get off ourselves, because the thing about it is creating more and more of a generation, of a cycle to our kids, and we have to one understand that part. To where, like, if we have kids and we love them that much, we have to create that thing. To where we have to just break that curse, we have have to let it go. That's the main thing, that's the main source of the whole situation.
Speaker 4:And understanding that man, because it all stems from that and he broke history on that. He says he's going to continue to keep going, going and going and going, and it never did stop. But we have to break that curse, we have to stop that, we have to stop the jealousy. So we have to come together. It's so hard, though. Do you guys get it? Yeah?
Speaker 2:it really is hard. We can all get along and be like, oh yeah, I wish the best for you, I wish the best for you, but behind they're like no, and that's the hardest part Like yes, being enlightened and being vibrating at a higher frequency now that I like to use that term.
Speaker 3:Um, other people are just not the same so you can, you could sit there and literally shake them they're like, and they will not get it and I feel like it's internally something that they're battling internally, you know, yeah, and it's just like it's kind of unfortunate because it's like we all possess that power right within right, you know, and it's like if you I mean it's also I also blame society as well, because they really they, whoever they are yeah, you know, like just they, you know, they put so much stuff out there, for it's kind of like inevitable, you know.
Speaker 3:That's why we have to combat it and really do the work on ourselves so we don't have these feelings and I feel like it kind of is a natural thing and and to a certain extent, but then it's like no, because we're all here to win right you know like we're here to be our best versions of ourselves.
Speaker 4:It's really a mind over matter you gotta put in the work.
Speaker 3:If you're willing to put in the work and you love your babies.
Speaker 4:Man do the work everybody's scared to do the work. Everybody's scared to go into that dark of the night, that shadow side they bad at themselves. Whatever man, that's the best place to go. Just think about light. Before it's light, it was darkness it does not even exist. If you don't go into the dark to walk into the light, create light so we have to understand that part, the biggest fact of man. We let our babies man do the work the work.
Speaker 4:It's the work, and nobody want to do the work. Everybody want a handout yeah, a free thing and it don't work like that. You have to put it in so you got to give something to get something. You have to give, you know you have to give it, you know. So that's the main part yeah, totally agree.
Speaker 1:What about you? So how I feel, um, that, um, how do I personally define jealousy? I would just say it's more like a resentment, a bitterness, um, and styleity, have hostile, like environment. It's, you know, more like, I would say, people that are jealous, are envious of some of the things that you have. You know, it's things that you might be doing or something you might have that they envy and want.
Speaker 4:So therefore, they become jealous of you More of a, more of a self-doubt, it's more, yeah, it's kind of, and they look down on you, I would say more like selfishness.
Speaker 1:But, I mean you're going to have people like that. It's family, like she said, friends, acquaintances, associates, co -workers. I mean it's sad that you have to go through that in life, but you do. But you know you got to live and learn from that. Oh yeah, live and learn man.
Speaker 4:Yeah, you have to.
Speaker 1:Right, right you. You have to live and learn. They can get the finger in the middle.
Speaker 2:Some of the people that are the biggest haters that I've noticed and I call them haters is within your own family, within your own circle. They're like okay, well, I have this much of money, wealth. To them that's important. But then they see somebody like me me, and I'm talking about myself. So, um, and my light is so much more brighter and they don't understand. They're like why does she get to have all this and have all that? But I'm like, but you have like a $2 million home.
Speaker 2:Or you're not like happy with your $2 million home.
Speaker 4:That's the part that gets me. That's the part that gets me, and you know what A?
Speaker 1:lot of times it is people that have way more than what you have, but it's that personality, your aura, your spirit that they're jealous of they jealous of that they can have everything that they want but, they still going to be jealous of the next person, exactly. You've been in the gang way longer than me.
Speaker 3:I was in the dark.
Speaker 1:I was in the dark, I didn't want to come out, I didn't want to expose myself. But guess what? You are jealous of me because I'm shining brighter than you. And you're jealous.
Speaker 2:Make it make sense.
Speaker 4:That's ever seen. That's what's up. That's what's up.
Speaker 3:That's where it's at oh, yes, girl, you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 4:Yes, right low vibrational man.
Speaker 1:It's just low, alright so our second question I have for you all can you share an experience when jealousy impacted your relationship or decisions significantly? What's that with you, ma? That's a tough one. Jealousy impacted your relationship or decisions significantly.
Speaker 2:What's that with you, Ma?
Speaker 1:That's a tough one to answer. Come on, we all got experiences and we know some, you know reasons.
Speaker 2:I'm trying to figure out which one I can. I want to talk about it, which one I don't. All right, which one affected me from jealousy.
Speaker 1:Impacted you on your relationship or your decision significantly dealing with jealousy.
Speaker 2:I wouldn't want to say so much more jealousy, but it's just more of like not understanding my path that I'm on now and I don't see it as jealousy. I don't see it, though the person might see it that way, but I don't see it that way.
Speaker 2:And they're like well, you're doing this and you're up here, do what you got to do, but that's not for me and I'm just okay. So that to me it's a personal relationship that I'm in, that affects me. In that perspective, that you know being spiritually gifted, being who I am I, you know being spiritually gifted, being who I am, I was born with this. I can't just put it to the side Like I have to continue to go with what I'm supposed to do for this world and I'm not going to stop.
Speaker 1:That's fine.
Speaker 3:You should. What about you, hon? I feel like I mean basically what she said Basically, like that's just how I, you know, I understand what she said basically. Like that's just how I, you know, I understand what she just said and that's just how I felt too, you know, like so I really have no words for that.
Speaker 4:I mean, she pretty much answered for me, it's just basically, when you'll be in a relationship with somebody that's been jealous of you the whole time and when they want to be you so bad because they low vibrational, they light is not shining like yours and they want to. You know, if they can't get it, they want to crush it, they want to tear it down, they want to rip it apart, they want to just destroy it because I can't have what you got and they want it so bad and it's just like that's how my ex was that you know, and they just want to destroy it.
Speaker 4:So if I can't have it or I can't, you know, gain it, or if it's not in me.
Speaker 2:I'm going to destroy it. I'm going to tear it down.
Speaker 4:So it makes it like you were just sleeping with the enemy, the whole time.
Speaker 2:You sleep with the gun the whole time. You know what.
Speaker 4:So you had the snake on side it. You go back and like it's now, when you're out of the situation, you can look at everything, how it played out, everything script to script. You can rewind it, you can fast forward and you can look at it. You can play it again and you can be like dang.
Speaker 3:That's what it was the whole time that is so crazy that you say that it was the thank you.
Speaker 4:It's crazy, it's just, it's being with somebody that was jealous of you the whole time. I'm trying to tell you that's the thing.
Speaker 2:That's the thing, man. That's not even just with a couple like real spouse, it could be like a friend right, right, right, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I was out with that, um, you know, with.
Speaker 3:I had a friend that I was like I was her, she was my quote-unquote best friend right for like 15 years, whole time. The girl was just super jealous, super jealous, um, you know, and it's just it was. It was really sad because I looked at her like a sister, right, you know, I did and I would like help her because you know just I. You know, that's how I am with my friends you know I like to see them grow, see them elevate and stuff.
Speaker 3:And you know she did help me too, you know, like with my daughter and stuff like that. But then I noticed I was like, okay, I noticed some funny funny business and I was like okay, I gotta distance myself, and once I did that, everything out Like she started slandering me. She started bullying Like she started doing the most, like it was crazy I had to get cops involved. It was yeah, she started stalking me, like it was like that.
Speaker 4:But see, that's the crazy part, when somebody's so jealous of you. Yeah, want to make you the monster, yeah.
Speaker 3:For backing up from the position of yourself.
Speaker 4:Yes, exactly, want to go to the shrine to your name to make this self look good. But you was the monster, the whole time. Yes, exactly, that's the crazy part man. Like, wow, like man, you know, that's the part that just gives me the most, like you know, then, you're so intuitive, you're like I know what you're doing already, just stop it.
Speaker 4:You know what I'm saying? You know exactly, but digging yourself a deeper hole. So, like my ancestors, the poppin by spirit, let it go. You know, because more you boy, you added more karma to it the karma that you got already. So you're just cashing out, you add more to your list, like let go, stop it, like chill, yeah, but they still want to keep going.
Speaker 3:Yeah, it's like you know they want to keep going. Yeah, I don't get that part. It's like you know.
Speaker 4:They still want to keep going.
Speaker 3:And for me, like I just stopped giving it energy. You know what I mean, Because if yeah, because I was like I'm not going to like play this game with you girl. Like she was, like she started going like to like joining forces with, like you know, your aunt.
Speaker 2:Yes, powerful, we gotta join together. Yes, we gotta come together.
Speaker 4:They gotta join forces.
Speaker 2:You know that's, that's like the weak road that's like the simp road that you took like so you're not strong enough to take me on one, so you gotta add five, six, seven eight, nine and ten.
Speaker 4:You're still not doing nothing it's still going back to sender. Yeah, it's still going back, you know, so you know man it's. It's funny because at the end of the day, when you look at it, it's like man you don't know who fight for me on this side and you still try to come at me with this Uh-huh, yeah, Chill.
Speaker 1:Well, I'm going to say me, my experience is like how you had your friend. It was a close friend of mine, we were good friends back in Louisiana, in Louisiana, and I noticed like when she was doing well, she was like helping me, you know, hey, don't worry about it. I got you da-da-da-da. But then as soon as the tables turned and I started doing well, it's like she disappeared and I was like, hey, don't worry about it, I got you, remember, when I wasn't doing well and you had me, I got you and it's kind of like she was like oh no, I'm good, and she just disappeared and vanished. And I was just like what happened to my friend? And I was like, damn, you know, I'm doing great. She done disappeared. And I mean, I did hear from her a few times, but it's only when she needed money to help pay bills and I had her because I felt like you know, she was there for me when I wasn't doing well, so why not be there for her?
Speaker 2:But that was.
Speaker 1:I know it's not what I think it is, I know, but it is what I think it is.
Speaker 1:But when sometimes you do better than the next person, that you are around you, it can create jealousy. They don't have to tell you, but you can sense it and pay attention to the way they move, their actions, because actions speak louder than words. And so I paid attention to the actions and I never got a congratulations or this or that, never got you to come to my 40th birthday party when you said you would be there. So I realized and it all started making sense to me because we don't even communicate to this day. That is jealousy. I'm doing good and now you don't even care to be around me or be in my presence. But when you wasn't.
Speaker 1:We were cool ever since I was about 17 years old.
Speaker 2:She's a couple years older than me, but she's a couple years older than me, but you gotta understand, I always hung around older people because you know.
Speaker 1:You know I was. You know I had a Tracking a lot of older people. I didn't hang around a lot of people my age I did, but a lot of the people that I did associate with were way older than me. Yes, I was so mature. A lot of my friends be older. You know. They be like 10, 15, 20 years older than me.
Speaker 4:Yeah, yeah, yeah, yep, yep, yep, but yeah, it hurts though.
Speaker 1:She lives out here and that's kind of somewhat the reason I mean not that she was the whole reason that I moved here. My mama, you know, taught me in the movie here, but she lived out here. So then I was just like you know what, forget going to dallas, I'm gonna come to fort worth because you know what, my best friend lived there. Yeah, but now I can't even say she's my best friend because I don't even hear from her, never, I don't know.
Speaker 1:she just disappeared that's crazy and the last time I told her, I was like, you know, I started the business to say, yeah, you know, I knew you always would do good things, because you know, that's just you, that's just proof right there, and that's, it's just a harsh reality I'm sorry, yeah, yeah and you know it's just a harsh reality.
Speaker 3:You know like it's really sad because I've had that.
Speaker 1:It's sad you wouldn't be happy. Yeah for you, because, just like how you had me when I didn't have nothing, I will have you, but it's like they don't their pride getting away they don't even want you to have me.
Speaker 2:They just like goodbye oh well, you about to say, mom. It just kind of reminded me a little bit of a situation when I had you know, I don't, I'm not, I'm a loner, I'm a loner to this day. But whenever I was a younger in high school, I do remember having a best friend quote unquote and she did the same thing to me, but it was the weirdest thing. It wasn't like oh, just money thing, it was about beauty, like she didn't she didn't understand that she's like why are you more attractive?
Speaker 1:why, why do you?
Speaker 2:oh adam ben never fall why do you get to have that face structure, that that smile like, and I'm, I was just like, am I hearing? This is this right and I was? Just like yeah, so that it's taught me to just I don't know keep your eyes out and just like open and yes, definitely.
Speaker 1:I remember when I was younger and I will be around my friends, and some of them were a little heavier than me, and they would say these like why the guys always want you. You look Skinny Metabolisms fast, you know. But like they would say things like I want him, but he don't want me. He wants you. You hate, you mad, get like me let's go ahead and get to the next question. So can jealousy ever be a positive or productive emotion and if so, how do you feel like jealousy can be positive or negative.
Speaker 2:I do, Okay. So jealousy for me? I think people twist it to however they want to see it. Jealousy for me doesn't necessarily mean that it could be a bad thing. Jealousy could be like I see what you're doing and you're doing it so great, Right? I want to be like you. That doesn't mean that I'm jealous of you, Right, but I want to be like you.
Speaker 2:That doesn't mean that I'm jealous of you, right, but I want to be like you, your steps, how you're moving, how you're talking, what you're doing, like it's making me want to do the same thing, so it's an influence. So it's not really jealousy, but people would say, no, you're just jealous of her right you want to be just like her, you want to do this. No, like inspired.
Speaker 1:There you go. We want to use the word inspiration.
Speaker 2:But they see it as like you're just jealous. You want to be just like her.
Speaker 1:No, it's like I'm motivated yeah, for real so yeah, I mean it can't be a positive and a negative. The positive will be like they're so jealous that they admire you and they want to be like you, and so they want to pay attention to you, watch you and do what you do so that way they can elevate and be on that level that you're on.
Speaker 1:So yeah, I mean you can't be because I know like times we have said like oh man, girl, look at you, I'm so jealous of you. But it wasn't in a negative way, it was a positive way. We like, girl, your body banging or look how your makeup is, look at the man you got look at your life like we'll say we're jealous, but it's not in a bad way.
Speaker 1:It's just like, dad, you know, I wish that was me. You know what I'm saying. I'm struggling over here. But in other words, you know, we're just saying that we're jealous, but not in a bad way and I feel like everybody has their turn.
Speaker 3:You you know what I mean. It's like if you see somebody like your friend, for instance, and you know they got what you want and stuff. It's like okay, I'm next.
Speaker 2:I'm next up.
Speaker 3:You know what I mean. Like, I mean, my time is coming, so it's okay.
Speaker 4:Yeah.
Speaker 3:What about you?
Speaker 4:I would always look at it like if you want to become a millionaire, hang around a millionaire.
Speaker 2:Exactly, if you want to hang around people with a positive mindset it rubs off on you.
Speaker 4:So, the thing about it is what you hang around. You become a part of Just like your product become a part of your Bible. It's mainly what you be around, so it's like an energy reciprocation type of thing. So, whatever you put out project hang around. You know top tier people you know, and it's not saying that you you're jealous, but hey, man, turn me on to what you're doing.
Speaker 4:Yeah, like you know, help me so I could just get there and I can reiterate it into my you know what I have going on to help me take these steps and to keep going and keep moving forward to where I could. Just hey, let me critique me.
Speaker 3:Yeah, let me help me. So it's that type of thing.
Speaker 4:So we have to just understand that, like it's a negative and a positive, it's all about the mindset.
Speaker 1:Balance. It's all about the mindset. Yeah To.
Speaker 2:To piggyback on what you said, though. It's kind of like whenever you said, put me on, a lot of people don't want to put people on, because then it's like I worked so hard for this. So the way that I view that is, like I'm not going to ask somebody, hey, how did you do that, how did you? I just watch.
Speaker 3:I watch, watch them and I take notes. And I take notes, and I take notes, and I take notes, because not everybody's going to want to like share.
Speaker 4:You have certain people that will share, but they got certain people that will be like well, you know what, if I share this, he's going to do it better than me. I'm not going to give it to him, so I'm going to stick it in my pocket and I'm going to hide it from him.
Speaker 1:You can give it to them and you can help them to a certain extent. Because, let me tell you something what is for you is for you Ain't nobody else going to be you.
Speaker 2:Ain't nobody else going to do what you do, only you going to do what you do.
Speaker 1:So it don't matter if somebody else come along and they want to do what you're doing, let them, because let me tell you something.
Speaker 3:It's enough money out here for everybody that part. It's enough People so greedy.
Speaker 4:They think it's free, take it. I want to see you go. We could all pull up a chair to this big old table and eat together that part.
Speaker 1:But see, that's the point Now. Everybody want to come to the table with you and eat.
Speaker 4:Some of them want to be at their own little personal table, the kitty one right with a little bit of yellow hard plastic chair.
Speaker 2:yeah, yeah either you're coming with me or you're in that little chair back there you're gonna grow with me.
Speaker 4:You know, if you can't go with me, if you can't grow with me, definitely, yeah, that's true, alright y'all.
Speaker 3:So how do you differentiate between healthy and unhealthy jealousy in a relationship oh oh between healthy and unhealthy jealousy in a relationship oh unhealthy, like what he had said earlier, is, whenever they like, it's like they see your light and they just want to just do anything to crush it.
Speaker 3:And then it's like, because I've felt like that before, when he says sleeping with the enemy, I, when I was with my ex for seven years, I literally would say that like I'm sleeping with the enemy because I just knew you, you just kind of like, you feel it, you feel it in your soul, you feel it in your heart and your soul that, uh, you know you get this attention and they see you getting this attention. When y'all are out and stuff and they want it so bad and they try to emulate you and it doesn't work or they can't do it like you and they just want to just tear everything down on you, like they want to break you down. And it's like dude, like, and you know, with my ex he would be like, oh, like he took pride in breaking girls down, he's. He would say that like, yeah, weak, really weak, yeah, and it's yeah, and it's like, ooh, like who hurt you?
Speaker 3:You know, what's going on? Yeah, exactly, and you know, like people like that, you know, I mean I hope he takes the time to heal now, but he did not. He didn't see nothing wrong with him and I was like yo, I gotta get away. You know I can't do do this like you are just gonna. He did break my spirit. He did break my spirit, but guess what? My team is strong, and look at me now like, look at me now so yeah, so definitely that's very unhealthy. Yes, you know that's super unhealthy.
Speaker 2:What about you, ma? I think I'm gonna go more towards the healthy. So myself and my husband he's always been the tough person that says I want you to be like me, like if I have something, you're gonna have the same thing, whatever it might be, whether it's materialistic or whatever it is, but we're gonna vibrate together and we're vibrating to get higher and higher and higher yes, so to me and people are like oh why, why are they doing so good?
Speaker 2:why are they doing so good? They don't deserve to be doing that. Well, I'm like well we're, we move as a team we are a team. If I'm taking a left, if I'm stepping left, he's stepping left with me. If I'm saying right, he's stepping right with me. It's like I don't know and people are jealous.
Speaker 3:That's beautiful, though teamwork make the dream work.
Speaker 1:I'm trying to tell you because y'all got together and they've married, your relationship probably going downward, and so they despise and jealous of what you and your husband got going on. Stop being jealous. Yeah, for real. Stop being jealous. Yes, I could be like her.
Speaker 3:That's the most.
Speaker 4:You know that's the most hurting, detrimental thing when you have that person at a significant other that you thought was rooting for you, Uh-huh, and be the one holding the knife the whole time. Yes, it's not about the knife, it's the one who holding it, yes, it's the one who, doing the trickery against you to was like I just wanted to show you different, yeah, help you different. You know what I'm just Yep. It's always be that part man and we don't know Because those masks be man, they wear the masks.
Speaker 3:Uh-huh Don't they but see it got to slip off. I was about to say well, it has to slip.
Speaker 1:It can't stay there for long. It's got to slip off. But see when you start seeing through them, oh man.
Speaker 4:Take off those red colored lenses.
Speaker 3:Yeah, and see straight through them.
Speaker 4:And it's heartbreaking.
Speaker 3:Oh man.
Speaker 4:Man, it's heartbreaking.
Speaker 3:You get to the point where it doesn't become you, oh, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah. Once, once you've been through so much of that and you find yourself and you love yourself and you know what you're worth. It's not as heartbreaking anymore.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, right, right, right, right, right right, okay, moving on to the next one.
Speaker 4:Yeah, for sure, right, right, right yeah.
Speaker 1:That worth is a whole lot healthy relationships is. I just try to make sure the next time I'm in another relationship, that I get with someone that I can share a lot in common with and someone that's not too different from me, because if you get with someone that's not really like on the same level as you, you're going to probably get some jealousy, you're going to get some hate and stuff because at the end of the day they're not where you're at and they might despise you because of that. And so I try to make sure I get into a healthy relationship with someone that has no problem with what I'm doing, because they're probably doing the same thing.
Speaker 1:They probably got a business. They don't understand what I'm going through, how sometimes my time might be valuable. I might not be able to. Hey, babe, I might have to skip out on a date night. I got this and that I got to catch up on. There'll be understanding. I don't want to talk tonight.
Speaker 4:Yeah, you know like we got to you know it's funny. You said that because, like you know, we got these apps man, when the high vibration apps at.
Speaker 1:You know high vibration people. Only you know what I'm saying, that's.
Speaker 4:We got to be here, Somebody's the right one, we got to be here. You can't be here this or that or whatever, because it'll never balance out Because the thing about it, I'm going to be drained trying to pull you to my attention, exactly so the thing about it. I can't pull you up, and then if you can't meet me it's not going to work. So we got to be here. We got to be at this point, right.
Speaker 1:So we got to be here. Got to be here, got to be here, I agree. So are there any specific triggers or situations that tend to provoke jealousy for you or others? Yeah, think about that one.
Speaker 2:Not really, you know, I'm not jealous of people, so I don't have triggers Same.
Speaker 1:I'm sorry, you don't feel like other people might trigger you into you feeling like they're jealous of you and your husband or like what you got going on with your business and your life and stuff like that. Oh yeah.
Speaker 2:I go to spiritual warfare with them. You're not going to ruin my marriage and You're not going to ruin my marriage and you're not going to ruin my financial situation. You're not going to ruin anything. But as far as that, if I feel it Because I am who I am If I feel the attack, I'll stop it and I'll just return it right back to them, right there, and then but normal people. Normal people, not spiritual people.
Speaker 3:I just I don't care. Yeah, it'll face me.
Speaker 2:I'm just like keep talking, I don't care, I know who I am, I know who he is, I know what we are exactly.
Speaker 1:So what about you? Are there any specific triggers or situations that tend to provoke jealousy for you or others?
Speaker 3:um, basically what she said, it's like, if you know who you are, because people are going to talk regardless, right, you're going to feel how they feel regardless, because you could just be.
Speaker 1:They can see into your future and know that you're going to be exactly amazing.
Speaker 3:And they get mad and jealous, yeah, and that's their part, because there's something that's like something they have to deal with within right. You know that has nothing to do with me, yeah, so I'm gonna keep doing what I do you know?
Speaker 1:and like be Beyonce, say you know, always stay gracious. Best revenge is your paper Exactly. Keep it to your paper Exactly. Yes, ma'am.
Speaker 4:But see that part, that is the energy.
Speaker 3:Uh-huh.
Speaker 4:You got your energy popping and you think about it, no matter how much they try to break you to the core you come back relentless.
Speaker 4:Exactly back a whole different person. So it's been every time that somebody tried to get mad at me because of the energy that I'm carrying and I had to go places. I went to gyms and they got one guy came to me bro, every time you come on you change the whole energy in the building and it's like I had to back up and I was like hold up, man, these people watching me. So I got kind of paranoid. But I say so, I kept going and he was just like you know he was going through some things and he started talking going and he was just like you know he was going through some things and he started talking to me and I was just like, okay, cool, so all right, you know it was some things I helped him out with. You know some things he was younger.
Speaker 4:But it's the energy that always just been for me, that people, you know, just jealous of how he do it, how he come back, no matter how much I try to break him, but guess what? You can't break what's bendable. You can't, yeah, for sure. You can't break what's bendable.
Speaker 1:You can't break a chosen one. Yeah, that's hard.
Speaker 4:You can't break what's bendable man, so the thing about it. I've always been like every time I throw this at him, throw this at how he keeps coming back. That's just what it is.
Speaker 3:Yeah, it's just because. And to add on to that, I feel whenever people are jealous. I like to transmute that.
Speaker 1:You know, basically, like you transmute it into something positive, right it's like thank you.
Speaker 3:I guess you're giving me your energy.
Speaker 2:You know I know it's bad, but I'm going to take that. Yeah, I'm going to take that.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I'm going to take that and make something good out of it. So touche.
Speaker 4:Because you're spending a lot more time and your energy worrying about me and I'm going by my own. Yeah, I got you.
Speaker 1:We're like who is you? Yeah, for real. Oh you, I didn't even know you existed For real, so yeah, I've seen you somewhere. The only way I hear about you is through people, but oh wait this. Right right.
Speaker 4:Right, right, right man, this I love it.
Speaker 1:No, but seriously, I love it I would say, like a lot of times when I deal with you know situations like that I take the negative and turn it into a positive. Yeah, I feed off of that, like when you say I ain't going to come back even harder Because I got to let you know, yeah you irrelevant. I don't even see you, I don't see me. So I'm going to keep it moving and keep it popping.
Speaker 4:And you can try to hit me to the core, you can try to tag me to the core, Look break. But every time he gets stronger and stronger every time. So I just climb.
Speaker 1:There you go, I keep going. He's like, you're like that stallion in that stable.
Speaker 4:He just try to break me, but every time I just I come back Strong and relentless, every time it should be.
Speaker 3:Yeah, yes, so what advice would you give to someone that's struggling with overwhelming jealousy in their personal or professional life? My advice that I would give to somebody that is struggling with that I would just tell them, like, look, it's OK, it's actually normal to have these feelings, but you need to look within, you know as to why, see why you're feeling this way. You know and I know this is easier said than done, but you have to do the work on the inside, as because when you do that, it's like you're not gonna feel these feelings anymore. I mean they might come up every now and then, but overwhelming, no, I I mean I feel you know right, like, oh, that's my take I don't have the patience for that.
Speaker 2:I'm just gonna be keep it real with you. I'm just. I don't have the patience to be like, hey, I understand where you're coming. I'm just like you're jealous of me, stay way over there. Way over there, I'm gonna stay way over here and we do not have to communicate. Um, if you want to come, or if I want to come to you to talk about it, and just come to an agreement and a mutual understanding, or work spiritually like, hey, this is what's going on, this is what happened, let's fix it, cool. If not, I don't even see you because I don't have time for that. I don't have time to just babysit, I guess.
Speaker 4:Right. So what was the question again?
Speaker 1:Okay, so it's. What advice would you give to someone struggling with overwhelming jealousy in their personal or professional life?
Speaker 4:So it's overwhelming, with the person, or just the person, just being.
Speaker 1:Them just being overwhelming with jealousy towards you in their personal or professional life.
Speaker 4:Man, look you know, it's just that basically what she said. It's kind of like chill over there, man, I ain't got time for it Because like the thing about it you deplete me from somewhere or just taking certain things from me. And I'm trying to go here and I'm kind of got to worry about you in the background of looking at me with these ill intentions, the side eye, and you know so it's kind of like I have to.
Speaker 4:Just you know. Just okay, look, just stay over there. If you want to come talk to me, we can talk on a level to where we can get a mutual understanding. But if you want that mutual understanding, where you're going to keep being jealousy and hateful towards me, stay over there, stay in your area. Stay in your section For sure, put you at the kiddie table.
Speaker 1:Yeah, he's at the kiddie table.
Speaker 3:Y, yeah, it's one of those man like I don't have time for it, yeah, and I mean that's. That's basically what I meant too, but I still will tell them. Hey, you know, maybe you should look inside just to see what's going on, but still stay over there. But you know, just give them that little piece of advice, because you never know, you could actually help them in a sense and I'm all for helping people, so you know what I mean.
Speaker 4:Like it's kind of give and take on the jealousy part with the help, because I understand what you're saying. We can help on it to a certain extent. Yeah, of course they can still take the help and still add more to the jealousy. Yeah, or he think he knows more than me.
Speaker 3:I mean that's on them. Or he think I can't think this here and that's on them at this part.
Speaker 4:You try to do your part. It is a self thing. It is a self thing, so I just not waste the energy all the time.
Speaker 1:I mean, I guess the advice that I would give to someone that's struggling with overwhelming jealousy with their personal or professional life stop being jealous, look at them, admire them, take notes, sit back and observe them, because there's some things that you can learn from them. Why sit here and be jealous and be upset and mad at the next person when you can come together network?
Speaker 2:get with them and say hey, let me put some products in your store.
Speaker 1:You can put some of my products in your store like work together. Quit being jealous or hating, you know, on each other, um, you can work together. If you don't have stars, stores or businesses, maybe y'all might have, um, a podcast or something. Y'all can sit here and be on each other podcast and keep give each other tips and stuff like that. It's always something that you can do to inspire each other instead of being jealous of one another and competing against one another but that's good, but there's only five percent of us that want I know, I agree it is, but you know what?
Speaker 1:Somebody got to set the example.
Speaker 2:Right so long as you set an example, that's all that matters. If they don't want to sit here and move along, then guess what?
Speaker 1:They can kick rocks and get to stepping.
Speaker 3:Yeah, okay, flip flops, baby, kick them rocks, kick rocks with your flip flops.
Speaker 1:That's all I like to say okay. So let me ask y'all something, okay? So you know, a lot of times people can give us um criticism and stuff. So how do y'all feel about constructive criticism versus jealousy? Because sometimes people can be giving us constructive criticism. We could be, oh they jealous of me, when in reality they're not. They're trying to actually help improve you. So how do y'all feel about constructive criticism versus jealousy?
Speaker 2:I like constructive criticism, like if you're going to tell me that I'm doing something and that maybe I need to work on it in a different way, or maybe you're giving me a tip on it, I don't take it the wrong way. I thank you I actually did it the way that you told me how to do it, and it came out better than what I thought it was going to.
Speaker 3:Right.
Speaker 2:I'm all for constructive criticism, okay, I love that.
Speaker 3:Honestly, I struggled with that for a while because I was like, oh, this person is just jealous. You know what I mean and I can honestly admit that. But I have been working on that and you know I found that what she said like you know, when you do, you know, take somebody's advice like good advice, of course, and it's like dang like this actually helped me, like you know.
Speaker 3:and then that's when I had to check myself and I'm like, ok, not everybody's, you know, feeling, you know, just because they want to help you or, you know, criticize you in a constructive way. It's not that it's a bad thing, you know.
Speaker 4:so definitely, I had to work on that and, yeah, you know what same way I love it, because I was built off of it. Yeah I always was told that I was gonna never be this, I was gonna never be that. Like I tell you, I always felt like the style, you know, stayed because, like ever since a baby man, they've been trying to break me ever since and every time I come back strong and strong, every time. So the simple fact of constructive criticism. I love it Because be honest with me.
Speaker 4:If you're my friend, if you rock with me, we rock the long way. Be straight up with me. Don't sit here sugarcoating me and I'm going down and anything like that. And then you know you can help me, you know you can talk to me and tell me Be straight up with me.
Speaker 3:I and you know you can help me.
Speaker 4:You know, you can talk to me and tell me man, be straight up with me.
Speaker 3:I'd rather you be straight up with me and come tell me my face, than to let me just fall off. Yeah, right.
Speaker 4:That's just how I am. So I'm a realist.
Speaker 1:So if it ain't real it ain't me, that's right so that's just how I am.
Speaker 4:That's just how I live my life period. Yeah, Leave me alone. Stay over there. You want to hear the sugar-coated version. You want to hear the lies?
Speaker 1:That's right Stay over there, because sometimes your friends are going to tell you lies. They ain't going to always tell you the truth, because they don't want to hurt your feelings, but I would say, with the constructive criticism I noticed like when I was a manager, back in my years of being an assistant manager to a head manager, I got a lot of constructive criticism and I ain't going to lie, I used to be like ugh, they so hard on me, I'm like them.
Speaker 2:They're mean, ugh they racist.
Speaker 1:But when I realized they made me a better individual because I learned a lot from their constructive criticism, it really made me to who I am now. So I would say a lot of times we might get confused and think constructive criticism is jealousy, when in reality they're trying to make you a better version of yourself, and it's not that they're jealous of you.
Speaker 1:They're trying to help you become a better person. So people, please don't get confused with constructive criticism and jealousy. It is a lot of people out here that are jealous of us and what we got going on, but it is some that actually are not jealous. They want to just see us become a better version of ourselves.
Speaker 4:So always make sure that y'all take that into play and don't, you know, get it twisted Because they got some people seeing certain things in you that you don't see in yourself at that moment in time and they want to put it out of you.
Speaker 1:That's so true and that's just how they do it.
Speaker 4:They put it out of you Okay, well, he can't take it from me coming at him a certain type, a great version of being a friend.
Speaker 3:Being a realist, just not even a friend, just being a boss, a manager or whatever, Because a lot of times they give us constructive criticism when we're working at certain jobs nine to fives and stuff like that Not just being a business owner, then you can get constructive criticisms from just people like your employees or other friends and stuff that come along in your life that's trying to help you out, right.
Speaker 2:So, yeah. Constructive criticism. Constructive criticism, though, is also keep in mind, take it, if you are giving it in a nice way, don't say you're lazy because you're doing that. That's not constructive criticism you're just putting down.
Speaker 3:Right now, man, I'm going for real, but hold on wait a minute, hold on now.
Speaker 1:but if they is really lazy and we tell them you lazy, that mean you, you really is lazy. We're not just doing it because we're telling you the truth, we're telling you, we're giving you the down-earth truth, you lazy.
Speaker 4:okay, get it together.
Speaker 3:Right, right, right yeah I get what you're saying.
Speaker 1:Right right. All right, child, we'll go ahead and wrap up this episode, but is there anything you want to hear? Some feedback? What about you?
Speaker 4:Man, look, just have an open mind, man. When it comes to anything about jealousy or anything like that, or just when it comes to just reiterating yourself or changing yourself, take the advice from somebody trying to give you something. Man, just don't take it to heart. Take it as a win, because at the end of the day, when you think you're losing you're winning. To win again, you're not losing at all.
Speaker 4:Even when you lose something or a personal thing, you're not losing. You're learning how to win again from anything that you're learning. It's never a loss, it's always a win. Amen.
Speaker 2:Since you said, give our viewers something I'm going to give it Don't be jealous, like how tony says be like me. Be like me doesn't mean doing everything exactly how either one of us would do it. It's just take the constructive criticism. Don't be so in your feelings about it and then, if you want to be successful or you want to just be at a higher level, accept the, the, the advice that people give you and, instead of being jealous of them, admire them. There's nothing wrong with admiring somebody oh, looking up to them looking up to them, admiring them it's actually a beautiful thing.
Speaker 2:It's like that person has something that I I really want and I want to work on it. So you know what? I'm going to take some notes. So, jealousy, just don't do it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I would just say basically the things that I would tell my viewers just watching stop with the jealousy, start loving, start being one, start uniting, coming together and stop being upset and mad because someone that you know might be somewhere in life that you're not. We can always get there. Just work hard, have self-discipline, believe in yourself and stay motivated. And at the end of the day y'all know what I always say drop your feedback, your likes, your comments, share. We want to hear from you and until the next episode, bye.