Bougie Bayou Witches Podcast
Know the difference between when to stay or walk away from a relationship/friendship
Unlock the secrets to nurturing healthy relationships and friendships with insights from our special guest, the wise alchemist Nisha. On this episode of Bougie Bayou Witches Podcast, we promise to guide you through identifying the vital signs of a thriving relationship. Learn to master effective communication, mutual understanding, and the art of resolving disagreements respectfully, all while emphasizing the importance of self-love and personal healing.
Join us as we dissect the subtle distinctions between manageable relationship issues and deeper, fundamental problems. We highlight red flags like a lack of reciprocity and insincere apologies, urging you to stay vigilant for the sake of your emotional well-being. Nisha shares her expertise on various coping mechanisms, from meditation to nature walks, and the critical role of self-awareness and boundaries in maintaining mental health.
Our discussion also uncovers the delicate balance between words and actions, and the complexities of maintaining relationships amidst challenges. With candid conversations about trust, accountability, and the risks of sharing relationship woes with outsiders, we shine a light on the essence of true friendships versus mere acquaintances. Tune in to discover the value of intuition, personal growth, and setting the stage for meaningful connections.
Unlock the secrets to nurturing healthy relationships and friendships with insights from our special guest, the wise alchemist Nisha. On this episode of Bougie Bayou Witches Podcast, we promise to guide you through identifying the vital signs of a thriving relationship. Learn to master effective communication, mutual understanding, and the art of resolving disagreements respectfully, all while emphasizing the importance of self-love and personal healing.
Join us as we dissect the subtle distinctions between manageable relationship issues and deeper, fundamental problems. We highlight red flags like a lack of reciprocity and insincere apologies, urging you to stay vigilant for the sake of your emotional well-being. Nisha shares her expertise on various coping mechanisms, from meditation to nature walks, and the critical role of self-awareness and boundaries in maintaining mental health.
Our discussion also uncovers the delicate balance between words and actions, and the complexities of maintaining relationships amidst challenges. With candid conversations about trust, accountability, and the risks of sharing relationship woes with outsiders, we shine a light on the essence of true friendships versus mere acquaintances. Tune in to discover the value of intuition, personal growth, and setting the stage for meaningful connections.
Hello, I'm Toni from Bougie Bayou Witches Podcast and of course you know I'm the host and I have guests.
Speaker 2:My cute alchemist Nisha.
Speaker 1:All right. So today this is episode 16, and we're going to be talking about know the difference between when to stay or walk away from relationships or either friendships. So I'm gonna go ahead and get started by asking my guests some questions. So the first one would basically be what are the key indicators that a relationship or friendship is healthy and worth maintaining? All right, Ma.
Speaker 3:If both friendship and relationship, if both can communicate, no relationship will be perfect or friendship. But if both of them can, at the end of the day, come to like talk about it and understand it and an agreement, even if it's agreed to disagree and you guys are both, are like, okay, we're not gonna see eye to eye, but it's okay and we can still be friends or we can still. You know, like we're still, we're not gonna get divorced when I end up like separating, like I don't understand where I'm coming from like I divorced my friend.
Speaker 3:But yeah, that's to me understanding each other and okay, okay, what about you?
Speaker 2:oh, when it's less draining. You know when you got to take out too much of the energy to put into something, and to where y'all can meet on a balanced level. You know what I'm saying when you can understand each other and how to agree, disagree, like Mike was talking about. Just learn how to come back together and not say the wrong things or the things that you regret in a friendship or in a relationship when it comes to the times you get upset or get mad. So learn how to put it back together.
Speaker 3:And whenever you do say those things, we're not human, we're all human, and if we do say something that is offensive, be a grown adult and say hey, I didn't mean it like that.
Speaker 2:Or hey, I didn't say it like that, Apologize Go back and talk about it. Be mindful of the person's feelings. Yeah, basically you know so. Don't say no hurtful things that degrade a person or to tear them down. You know Right.
Speaker 1:But you know, sometimes you can come up and talk and seem like you might be being harsh, but it could be like the way that you talk. Some women have a lot of masculinity in them so therefore they're not good.
Speaker 2:And that's what I get to. My tone is like I try to tone it down.
Speaker 1:It's a little stern, but it's passion behind it, because I want you to get it when you passionate you can talk a little bit more aggressive yeah.
Speaker 4:To piggyback what everybody said too communication. If they're not ready to talk right then and there, just give them a few moments to get their thoughts together, but still have that conversation on. You know what we can do and improve, instead of just bickering and not talking about it at all and just say you know what, you're fired, I'm not going to talk to you anymore, you're fired?
Speaker 1:No, you're not firing them too.
Speaker 2:And to add on to that, you know, when it comes to friendships or relationships, like everybody was trying to find an exit or a reason to exit, and not really just trying to, just, you know, work on it. You know, because everything requires work, man, it all requires work.
Speaker 1:They trying to be a runner. You know you can't always run every time. It gets tough and it's hard. Sometimes you got to toughen it out and stick through and talk. You know it's all about communication. I feel like communication is the key to a successful relationship, friendship, anything If you communicate and a lot of us, we don't know how to communicate, we don't know how to talk, so that's why a lot of times, instead of us communicating and talking, we just run.
Speaker 4:Right. You know, so, and then you know quick to find a replacement. And then they. They were worse than what you started out with wait a minute you don't even need to worry about no replacement.
Speaker 1:You need to work on their self love. No, I understand but I'm saying they need to work on their self love and then jump into that next relationship once they, you know, done, you know loving themselves and healing, because it's all about healing. That's what's wrong with people they try to jump out of one situation into another situation.
Speaker 2:See, that's codependency the thing about it. They got to keep somebody at all times, they got to be by themselves. Those things be the catalyst to help you grow to back and force you back into loving yourself or falling in love or growing in love with yourself. So you have to go through that dark night of yourself and to understand that part.
Speaker 1:Then you can get with somebody, because you're gonna bleed all over that person well, not even that you're gonna attract the same thing that you just left that part you can too and then if you're not done healing, then you're gonna bring what was causing problems in your last past relationship or situation ship you know, into this new one, as well as friendships too.
Speaker 4:So yeah, right, and it's also good to understand.
Speaker 3:When people like you said, like you need to heal people, to be understanding man you're with the relationship, like, hey, I need to heal for some something, give me some space from my friend. Hey, I need to heal through something, it doesn't mean that we're, like, no longer good and we're not like you know what I'm saying, but I need to heal in order, so I can be the best version of a wife or a friend, a sister, whoever it is.
Speaker 3:We need to heal, and then for friends also, yeah, I agree, and not just wait till Sunday or Monday and say hey, you good now.
Speaker 4:No, it takes time. It takes about one, two, three weeks.
Speaker 2:I'm going to talk to you in one or three weeks.
Speaker 1:No, you separate between normal relationship challenges and signs that the relationship is fundamentally flawed. So then I make you go. Hmm, no, but seriously, how do you separate between normal relationship challenges and signs that the relationship is fundamentally flawed? Like say basically, for instance, if you're having problems and things, how do you know whether or not it's a challenge, if it's just a challenge?
Speaker 3:or if it's something that's completely done with. How do you determine the two? Because this is dealing with the relationship.
Speaker 2:Like how do you determine the two? Ooh wee Right? I like that one.
Speaker 1:Because this is dealing with the relationship part. We'll get to the friendships in a little bit.
Speaker 4:Okay On this friendship part, like the draining it's. I'm always doing more and more and more, and you're not even doing less, but you expect more Okay.
Speaker 3:But you're not, you know, not maintaining the equal balance in the relationship, or? Um, that is a good question.
Speaker 4:It's like if you're pouring more into it than what you're getting poured back into.
Speaker 3:Yeah, if I keep having to pour into you more and more but I don't feel like I'm getting the same thing in return, then yeah, that that to me is a flaw. And distance well, if it's not being reciprocated, it's like you're pouring into a cracked cup and also the cycle when it's not being reciprocated.
Speaker 2:It's like you're pouring into a cracked cup. And also the cycle when it continues as a cycle and it doesn't grow and a person apologizes, and it's the same continuous thing and it never changes and it goes back to the same thing. It's flawed Straight up.
Speaker 1:It's flawed because the thing about it apology can't, especially if you apologize all the time. It's going to come a point in time where the apology no. I don't know if it's real.
Speaker 2:Right because it don't be genuine.
Speaker 1:no more Right because you keep saying like a little boy that cried wolf, you know he cried wolf so many times to wear what? When it really was a wolf, nobody believed him.
Speaker 2:Right, so when the cycle continues after you cover it up with apology. Then you be like well, okay, you sit back and like, okay, you want to see what color the wall will turn this time, or see what color it's going to be, what it's going to be this time, because you just showed me this. So now I got to sit back and see, okay, well, let me see what the cycle going to be, or whatever it's going to turn, or if she going to you know whatever. So you got to pay attention to it.
Speaker 2:You got to be open-minded about the whole situation.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I totally agree. I would say, when it comes to that, I would say, between a normal relationship versus one that's kind of like having problems or flawed, I would say, pay attention to the red flags and the signs. If you can't pay attention to those, then that's all on you, but if you pay attention to it, then you'll know when it's time to just say deuces.
Speaker 3:And if you don't know what the red flags are, because people are oblivious Get on TikTok and Instagram what are red flags.
Speaker 2:You don't know, because people are oblivious to that and they think that this is okay.
Speaker 3:No, it's not okay. No, it's not, no, it's not. You need to put a stop to it.
Speaker 2:But they got this thing to where they wear the mask real well. Oh yeah, they represent it to it, they wear it real, real well, Like they got it all together but at the same time that mask got to slip off.
Speaker 1:Okay, that's what I'm going to say they're going to Wait a minute, Wait a minute. But sometimes people let their heart get in the way and once they start loving a person, they look past all those red flags all those flaws. They're like oh no, no, he's okay. You just hating because you ain't with somebody, and in reality we really not hating. We see it way clearer, but you can't see it because you're in love.
Speaker 2:So, you're blind.
Speaker 4:Love is blind and you're blinded by the love. You know you got your blind, you really think he love you, but he playing you and then you'll be on that. On that, but YouTube, I didn't know who I married. The red flags were there. Julie Sleeping with the enemy? Huh, it's crazy man.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 3:So how do you assess the impact of a?
Speaker 1:relationship on your mental and emotional health. How do I process it? Yes, how do you access the impact of your relationship on your mental and emotional health? Like you know just how would you deal with you know the relationship on your emotional.
Speaker 3:Alcohol no.
Speaker 1:That's how some people handle it. But no, no, I know I know you might be with your girlfriends and y'all have a drink and talk about everything you're going on in life.
Speaker 3:So yeah, I guess that is one way some people handle it. I separate myself.
Speaker 2:I shut down. For me it's I back away from everything and I shut down from the world and I just go into meditation or I go step out in nature, I go walk around the grass and, you know, ground myself and regain my energy back from all the energy that I put out. And it especially became a mentally battle within myself to like, well man, I keep depleting my energy dealing with this person and I'm like, well, I'm not getting filled back up, so I have to do something to get back to me I have to get back on my block.
Speaker 3:You kind of have to go like this and just be like you, you, you tunnel vision and then you get back to feeling better and then, it's kind of like okay, what was the problem?
Speaker 1:again, I'm good what are you sitting there communicating talk? Because I don't care. I'm good, yes, no, I'm good, but what's?
Speaker 3:the problem. Let's talk about it, Right right.
Speaker 1:Okay, so how can you tell if conflicts in a relationship are resolvable or indicative of deeper incapabilities?
Speaker 3:If they're not able to understand or decipher that there is a problem, or like they can't understand where you're coming from.
Speaker 1:Or maybe they might take a counseling class and then they realize oh, we went through counseling, honey, and we tried to do everything we could to work it out, so maybe it really is a problem. That's one-sided.
Speaker 2:Well being accountable for your actions.
Speaker 1:That too.
Speaker 2:Being accountable for what you say and what comes out your mouth and the energy that comes behind the words. So, you have to be accountable and we all have to be accountable. So it's just being accountable for you know your part that you played in the conflict.
Speaker 2:And also getting the things to fathom around your brain to be like, well, ok, I messed this up, let me go ahead and just get this right, and let me just, you know, be the bigger person and say, look, I messed up and being accountable for it. Really, it's accountability.
Speaker 3:Yeah and actually saying the words. I know a lot of people like to do things like I know it's important for some people to say actions speak louder than words. There you go. Because that's my favorite word they do, but at the same time, it's also nice to hear it from like a spouse, or from you know like another to be like hey, you know what I did was wrong. I apologize for that. I'm going to fix it, and you'll see how I'm going to fix it.
Speaker 1:And we're going to fix it by showing them actions. Right, we can tell you a lot, but the actions you know.
Speaker 2:So it's the actions after the reactions.
Speaker 4:There you the actions after the reactions and how long you keep it up too, Because some of them.
Speaker 1:keep it up briefly that part. It'd be temporary and then they'll go buy you something.
Speaker 4:They do something else for you. See, money can't buy you. Wait a minute.
Speaker 1:Okay, I'll do something wrong in the relationship. I'm going to get a Birkin purse. She'll be all right.
Speaker 2:Right, we'll get a G-Wagon. That's fine.
Speaker 3:We're going to shoot.
Speaker 1:Maybe. Okay, what you say, honey, we're good now.
Speaker 2:See, money get mixed up with tangible assets of your energy, that you're being reciprocated, because your energy is like currency, we have to protect it. So basically, our energy is like money, but you know.
Speaker 1:I think, like why some women and men deal with certain situations, when it does get rough and they're being tried or tested, is because they think, well dang, I've invested so much time into this relationship and stuff, so why would I go out and meet another person? Because they might turn around and do the same thing? I might as well just stay in and deal and stick with this one, because you know, there's so much in my time and that's all I know and I don't feel like getting to know someone else because now it's so much harder dating men or women or both or whatever. You know what.
Speaker 2:There are a lot of people that don't believe in that it's harder to step out and just thinking the grass is greener on the other side and thinking everything is alright.
Speaker 2:One thing you can feel a spot that you can't replace. You can't replace it. No, there's no fact. So the thing is is that people don't understand what they have in front of them because their eyes, so wide, shut up on the things that they got, and they got people spitting venom in their ears saying this or saying that. Have people jealous of them the whole time, get there, be their friend, talk them out of everything and then, after it's over with they, vanish.
Speaker 1:They're gone when they at. They don't vanish and go. They might be with them. Yeah, but I got you out of the picture so they can have them, right, right right, right.
Speaker 2:So you gotta really be mindful here, baby, you gotta really be careful who?
Speaker 1:you're sharing your problems with about your man who you're going to because they could be sitting here like oh girl, you need to leave and let him go the whole time behind Baby, we working on it, we trying to get rid of him so we can be together. Man, I'd be seeing that stuff in real life and then you hear that. And then you hear come the first 48. Then they come back. Oh, I, you know, I liked him too, but I'm so sorry.
Speaker 2:I was vulnerable.
Speaker 4:I was vulnerable or you should have told me it wasn't what you thought it was Couldn't be me. I just wanted to get a taste, and it wasn't Just imagine that A friend could be there.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, you know the guy you was messing around with and went out to eat. Oh, if you watch a hair girl. So yeah, true facts. I mean, it's real life, real talk time.
Speaker 2:It's tough out here, man, god, man, I'm telling you.
Speaker 4:Let me stop being petty. That's why the good women in the house no, it's real. It's real, it happens.
Speaker 2:It's real because you know what. That's why with me I kind of just stay away from a lot man, because they got good men and good women out here, they do, they understand too.
Speaker 1:They just camouflage, because they just can't handle all this BS and stuff.
Speaker 2:So we're introverts, we in the house.
Speaker 1:But we about to be back outside this summer. Yes, indeed yes indeed, we about to be back outside all 2024. Go ahead and say it. You sure Go ahead. Q. We want to hear it.
Speaker 4:We want to hear it. Go ahead, I'm good.
Speaker 2:I'm good.
Speaker 1:You good, you ain't going to be outside in 2025?.
Speaker 2:You got to be, I'm going to be out this summer, but it's going to be a new, different type of version of the greatness of me. Okay.
Speaker 4:There you go. Okay, we'll get you outside.
Speaker 1:We'll see you outside, oh summer 2024. Yeah, oh, yeah, you going to be outside this summer.
Speaker 4:I already got my two-piece.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 4:She said ooh, my two-piece.
Speaker 1:I don't know if I want to put my two-piece on. You should do. I don't want to. No, you should do. No, it might be too much problems. You know, I'm going to leave that for the 20-year-olds and 30-year-olds, you know what I'm saying, yeah, yeah. What you trying to say. I, because you know I'm not going to put no two piece on this time. I'm chill. I'll be sitting on the sideline while y'all be in the pool.
Speaker 3:I'll be chilling alright scouting.
Speaker 1:I'm going to go ahead and drag your butt up in there.
Speaker 2:I can dig that alright, y'all okay.
Speaker 1:So how important is open and honest communication in deciding whether to stay or leave a relationship?
Speaker 3:Oh, it's very important.
Speaker 4:Oh my.
Speaker 3:God it's. Once you stop seeing each other, you don't have to always see eye to eye on things, but if you can't understand where the person is coming from, that's it. It's a wrap. It's like we have no communication. Without communication, there is no relationship. Yes, ma'am, well, it's one wrap. It's like we have no communication. Without communication, there is no relationship.
Speaker 2:yes, ma'am, well it's one of those things that conversation rules the nation. So you have to be able to come together and to talk about anything that when it comes to that perspective, because who's how you'll get to understand, uh, of the relationship you know. So you have to communicate, you know, conversing on a platonic intellectual level to understand why these things you know, why I fell out.
Speaker 2:What's going on. You know, if you're too mad, write down a piece of paper. Look, you know you give me, switch your paper, I switch my paper. And you know we have to put it together, man.
Speaker 3:But you make it hard, people do make, the people are they make, not make it hard. I'm sorry, I'm taking your word, but like people um conversate different, so like, let's say, for example, communicate different, like they might not be good talking face to face because either their anger might get overwhelming, or maybe they might speak. So some people. What I've learned works for me is we just text each other and and you know what, that's crazy.
Speaker 2:Because see, because see me on an intellectual level. I want to be in the flesh. I really want to feel your energy.
Speaker 3:I want to see what you look like.
Speaker 2:I want to see what you feel like instead of you know, because, see, I want to get to the, I want to get, I want to solve the problem. I want to hear about the next day, the next week.
Speaker 3:No, we're going to resolve it, right now we're going to sit down and we're going to talk about it. If it's a big problem, yes. If it's something small like you didn't take out the trash. I'm just going to text you. You didn't take out the trash, is that really?
Speaker 4:bothering me. I'm going to need you to do before you leave and just leave.
Speaker 1:You know, but you know.
Speaker 4:I'll just push it by the door, See everybody's different.
Speaker 1:I like to communicate and talk it out. I want to see your eyes. I want to look into your eyes, because that tells me a lot. You know when I'm communicating, like if we have problems in the relationship and stuff like that, we're going to sit down and talk about it. No, we're not going to wait, we're going to do it now.
Speaker 2:Right, see, I have this list written in my head, so my job is not going to go undone. I know when I punch off my work clock I still have work to do at home or whatever like that. So I still keep everything in mind to understand that my job as a man is never done until. I go to sleep so I just keep those things in inventory in mind to understand that you might get white.
Speaker 2:you know I'm trying to tell you, you know, because, like every man is white differently, you know, I know how I'm wired, so I just I'm on it, you know, and it's like I'm my own drill sergeant, so you're not going to catch me slacking Like it's just it's just hard on myself.
Speaker 4:It's dumb when he go to sleep, if you don't know women mind. Are you?
Speaker 3:asleep. I need you to go over there. Nope, you haven't clocked out. Come on. Goodbye on the bed.
Speaker 1:I was ready for that one.
Speaker 4:Pull out the muumuu. Alright, I was ready for that one Pull out the muumuu?
Speaker 2:Alright, I wasn't ready for that one. Alright, what?
Speaker 1:are some red flags in communication that might suggest it's time to walk away. Come on now, hit me with them. Red flags, I'm snoring.
Speaker 3:Me? Definitely no communication. You're not coming home, you're not, you know, you're just distant, you're not coming. You're not coming home, you're not, you know, you're just distant, you're dry, you're. People just start thinking what are you doing?
Speaker 2:where are you?
Speaker 3:at. I'm out like I need to reevaluate the whole situation and if I don't know, just my intuition tells me everything. So for me it's a lot easier. I'm just like I just got to look at you. Okay, that's what you did.
Speaker 2:And you can see straight through them like glass. So mainly me is the energy you're putting behind it, and also that when you get silent, you don't want to talk, and the disrespect I'm like oh no, I'm good, I'm good, we can talk about this another time.
Speaker 2:We can't talk, we don't even need to be even just you know conversional, even being each other's energy, because the simple fact is I'm wasting time. It's like pouring into the crack cup. There's no reciprocation back of the energy, so it's like the infinity sign. We have to feed one another in that, in that, in that way, you know that energy got to be reciprocated in that way, in that form. If it's not, it's useless, it's pointless. I have learned, though, that there's different kind of energy, though it's not it's useless, it's pointless.
Speaker 3:I have learned, though, that there's different kind of energy, though. It might not be the energy, like everybody thinks it's beautiful.
Speaker 4:Like let's change, let's change and let's go ahead.
Speaker 3:No, it's like the energy that they might give you. You might not want to hear it, but you need to hear it, and vice versa.
Speaker 4:Right, and then like that.
Speaker 3:It's like oh dang. Okay, now I understand where you're coming from. I didn't like how you said it, but damn Okay, I get it, it helps.
Speaker 2:It makes you self-reflect. You know what I'm saying? Because you have to self-reflect instead of deflecting, so you have to just really go within. Most answers are within anyway.
Speaker 4:Go within.
Speaker 1:Yeah, totally agree. All the above too yeah, totally agree.
Speaker 4:What about you, nisha? All the above too, and then how you interact with each other. It says a lot too If it's actually, especially if it's been level and not just be so distance-wise. You said a dryness or no, just silent treatment, like kind of the roommate.
Speaker 3:Yeah, the roommate situation Right.
Speaker 4:Like we're like roommates now I'm not talking to you, so this is why, right, and then sometimes too, a vacation or a quick getaway, that would be nice. That will kind of bring things to.
Speaker 2:Yeah change the environment.
Speaker 1:Well, I think some of the red flags in communication that might suggest it's time for me to walk away is if we can't come to a mutual agreement. We're constantly arguing, we're fussing, we're getting into it, we're distant, we're realizing that we're just not meant to be. You know, like we have really actually grown apart and we're not going to make it. You're going to start getting all nice and fly for the next chick. You're going to start communicating with your little work wife and stuff like that.
Speaker 1:So at that time it's probably time for us to probably just decide that we might need to, you know, go our own separate ways, because you don't want to be in a relationship and it's not healthy and it's not working and you two are not happy, right? If you're not on the same page and you're not at agreeance of things, then you're just best to leave, because why be in something toxic, you know?
Speaker 1:what I'm saying, Like I see a lot of people that deal with toxic relationships and situations. I can't do it If you got the energy to do it cool, but my energy I've got to save that.
Speaker 2:See, but that's when you know you're not healed, because, see, people think that trauma is love.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:If you ain't to the time to sit down and heal, right, because some of this stuff stems from childhood. You know and think that one thing we have to understand we just can't heal from a relationship.
Speaker 2:We got to go all the way to go back, like it took me to go grab that little boy out the dark and to walk hand in hand with my adult self right now and to walk him into the light and to understand that that was the best healing ever. Right, the best healing ever. Man, man, and I found greatness. You know, I love it. I love where I'm at right now.
Speaker 1:Okay. Well, how do mismatched values and life goals affect the longevity and quality of a relationship you never get ahead.
Speaker 4:For one, then not only that, it's just that you two have grown apart for so long and it's like, even if you try, we're both not gonna be on that same journey. And then it's like I'm pulling you or you tugging me and we're just going back and forth to a separate direction, right. And the next thing, you know, you're like you know what, I give up, I quit. And then that's when unresolved issues don't get resolved in your next relationship, because you're still not healed and you're still carrying something that you didn't close that chapter in. And then it goes. Then it goes back to childhood trauma because my parents or somebody in family's parents couldn't get it together in their situation. This is the way it's supposed to be.
Speaker 2:Yeah so see, it's like that thing uh, you outgrow. If you can't grow with me, you can't grow with me you can't go with me, right. So you have to be a balance, you have to find that balance, you have to communicate for that balance, because if it's not a balance, it's going to be off. That's one thing understanding when it comes to a relationship, to even keep the dynamic flowing.
Speaker 3:You've got to find the balance.
Speaker 2:You've got to find the way to conversate and talk to each other the right way.
Speaker 1:basically, you know the way to conversate and talk to each other the right way.
Speaker 3:Basically, Totally agree, Emma Me. I guess it's a little bit hard for me to connect with that question because I am in a relationship, I am married and my husband doesn't fully believe, like on everything that I do, but he respects it. So to me that's good enough for me as long as he respects that I do but he respects it. So to me that's good enough for me as long as he respects what I do and I respect. Respect what he believes in and he respects what I believe in, and but we're not putting each other down about it, I'm okay.
Speaker 2:You know that's kind of hard to find.
Speaker 3:It is. It took us a while.
Speaker 2:That's why, you know, I'm still single. You know I didn't find nobody to understand my walk, my journey and what I'm doing when it comes to spirituality. You know it's. You know sometimes it's hard. That's why I was actually telling. I said, man, do they have a dating app for all spiritual people?
Speaker 1:but you know, we got that spiritual.
Speaker 4:I'm supposed to be coming up. Life love, life love.
Speaker 2:That's right, man.
Speaker 1:People can't get that out to you. All right, I got the perfect building for it now.
Speaker 2:All right, so we're going to jump on the friendship part.
Speaker 1:What role does trust play in maintaining a friendship, and how do breaches of trust affect your decision?
Speaker 2:See one, when it comes to to friendship, you have to be honest. For one being able to be that friend, to be like, hey man, look, I love you this much, I'm gonna tell you about yourself in front your face, you know, and to let you know like, hey man, you messing up. So I would rather that type of friend, or to be around those type of people to let me know that you know, I wouldn't be, you know, self-sabotaging myself. So if I don't have that type of friend, you're really not a friend to me. If you just help me sabotage myself or help me go down a journey or a road that is going to lead to destruction.
Speaker 1:So if they doing that, that's because they don't really. They're not your true friend they're trying to watch you go down. I don't want you to get ahead right because they don't want you to get way more ahead of them. Right, because if you do that, then we're not friends.
Speaker 2:Right, right.
Speaker 1:Right and they're mine Right, but yeah, friends help friends out. Yeah, supposedly, but this new world of friendship, good or bad, I don't even know what is friends of some of the folks that's out here in the world, like they say, yeah, we friends, but then you turn around and you do this and you do that and you, you know like what see those, those, they don't know the definition, the definition of the true meaning of being a friend.
Speaker 1:They feel like, just because you got facebook friends, instagram friends, oh, they're my friends, they're friends. I'm just some acquaintance associates that you don't even know half the time, you just you know they're just robbed and you're like you're following each other like come to's and mess with's. They're putting that social media to reality. Right, because I don't own a donkey, you know she said you don't own a donkey.
Speaker 2:It came across my feet.
Speaker 4:You own a donkey, get out there.
Speaker 1:Oh, my goodness, I don't know what role does trust play in maintaining a friendship and how the reaches of trust affect your decision. I feel like this I'm a forgiving friend Like you. Can cross me once, you can cross me twice, you can probably cross me three, but after the third time I'm done, because it's like this Three strikes and you out. I done gave you three strikes and it's out.
Speaker 1:So if you keep on messing up and I'm forgiving you and you're apologizing and I'm accepting it, get it together or you about to miss out and I'm going to tell you like this don't try to come back and be like oh yeah, what's up, friend, remember me? Look, I had to take some time off. I'm back Because I'm going to be looking at you like who is you? Oh girl, I don't even know you by now. But yeah, so you know, you just got to make sure that you have the right people around that are your friends and actually know what the meaning and definition of friendship, because a lot of people will call you friends when in reality you they're really their foe, you're their enemy and you're someone that they're trying to use and manipulate and get their way with. So just have to be careful.
Speaker 2:Well, old school always told me, you know my dad always told me an old friend is a for sure friend, a new friend and a true friend.
Speaker 1:I'm trying to tell you because I got this shirt where it says no new friends. No, no. It says I make money, not friends, and I know this man had that's me. That's no, it's not. It's the truth, because what I've learned is those old past friends I had, those were some friends, some of them now, some of them you know, but it's like the new ones that we're starting to come across and meet.
Speaker 1:you gotta wonder and keep an eye, or at least one eye, because you don't really know if they are around you for the right intentions and stuff and so it's kind of like I'd rather focus on my money than be worrying about having a friend. I'm not one of them type of people where I'm needy, where I need and gotta have friends. Friends ain't gonna make or break me, you know. I'd rather focus on my career and get to that check, cut that bag.
Speaker 2:I don't do friendly bobbing.
Speaker 1:Or the ones I want to do that too. Really, what if you would have not met me? Would you still be impressed and admired and want to do what I do, or would you be on somebody else's coattail wanting to do what they're doing? I'm sorry, I just speak facts, they're out there. I'm going to go ahead and we're going to wrap this up. What is something that you would like to leave for the audience that are watching or the audience that are listening to this podcast? We do have listeners too. Hi listeners, okay.
Speaker 2:I got one thing you got two ears to listen. You got one thing you got two ears to listen. You got one mouth to speak. Listen two times more than you speak.
Speaker 1:Listen two times more than you speak. You heard me. Okay, go ahead.
Speaker 4:Oh, I thought I was going to last. Yes, you are. Oh, I'm last. Okay, I'm really last, but yeah, okay, just make sure you always move in silence, watch them more than they watch you, and then always keep a backup plan just in case something happens the first time around.
Speaker 1:Okay, that's what's up. I would say, when it just comes to relationships and stuff, just trust your gut intuition, because I know a lot of times we want to trust it but then we second guess ourselves and when we second guess ourselves we'd be like damn it. I know I should have listened, so you should have listened, and then you know. As far as the friendship part, if you feel like it's something that is is dead and over and done with and it's not there anymore, just let it go. You know, move on. It's better to take care of yourself than be sitting here being in something toxic or something that's not meant for you to be in dealing with friendship, relationship, whatever, and just move on, because I'm telling you that peace is everything. Oh man, that peace, again, is everything. My phone very rarely ring, let me tell you so and that's my everything because I like that peace versus dealing with gossip and drama and stuff.
Speaker 1:like I don't mind my friends calling and telling me about the latest thing that's going on, but a lot of times I don't really want to be in the mood to hear that Because I hear enough things that's going on with me running my store and business and stuff. So sometimes when I get high I just want to just listen to my meditation music and just wind down and chill and relax.
Speaker 2:And I'm starting to realize I'm loving that better because.
Speaker 1:I'm just relaxing and getting that new time that I actually need.
Speaker 2:So yeah, you got to treat that peace like currency too, you sure, do you? Got to treat that peace like currency man, yeah, but you know it's the greatest thing.
Speaker 1:But soon my superhero will be with me, so we'll be sharing it together. So, with this all being said, like always, leave your feedback down below Like, share and subscribe, and until next episode bye. Bye, Watch out man.