Bougie Bayou Witches Podcast
"Have You Been Ghosted While Trying To Date?"
Is ghosting the silent killer of modern relationships? Join us on Bougie Bayou Witches Podcast as we explore this emotional minefield with our special guest, Nisha, who shares her raw and personal story of being ghosted after revealing she has children. Kamona unlocks her detective skills to expose deceitful behaviors, while we dissect the reasons behind ghosting—from finding a new interest to feeling overshadowed by a partner’s success. We also touch on why some men might lean towards toxic relationships over those with independent women.
Ever wondered why the dynamics of dating have shifted so dramatically? Let's discuss the changing responsibilities and expectations between men and women in the 20th century. We candidly talk about the allure of toxic relationships and the role of social media in perpetuating these unhealthy dynamics. Through heartfelt anecdotes, we emphasize the importance of mutual respect and shared responsibilities, teaching you to recognize red flags and trust your intuition. Our conversation underscores how vital it is to view your partner as a bonus, not a necessity, in your life.
Ghosting and cheating: two sides of the same coin or entirely different beasts? We unravel the frustrations of dating in the digital age, revealing red flags like inconsistent communication and social media misrepresentations, such as outdated profile photos and 'hatfishing'. From the hilarious to the heartbreaking, we share stories about height preferences, self-esteem boosts, and the aftermath of infidelity. Tune in for a rollercoaster of emotions as we explore modern dating complexities, offer tips for moving forward with confidence, and suggest empowering music to lift your spirits.
Is ghosting the silent killer of modern relationships? Join us on Bougie Bayou Witches Podcast as we explore this emotional minefield with our special guest, Nisha, who shares her raw and personal story of being ghosted after revealing she has children. Kamona unlocks her detective skills to expose deceitful behaviors, while we dissect the reasons behind ghosting—from finding a new interest to feeling overshadowed by a partner’s success. We also touch on why some men might lean towards toxic relationships over those with independent women.
Ever wondered why the dynamics of dating have shifted so dramatically? Let's discuss the changing responsibilities and expectations between men and women in the 20th century. We candidly talk about the allure of toxic relationships and the role of social media in perpetuating these unhealthy dynamics. Through heartfelt anecdotes, we emphasize the importance of mutual respect and shared responsibilities, teaching you to recognize red flags and trust your intuition. Our conversation underscores how vital it is to view your partner as a bonus, not a necessity, in your life.
Ghosting and cheating: two sides of the same coin or entirely different beasts? We unravel the frustrations of dating in the digital age, revealing red flags like inconsistent communication and social media misrepresentations, such as outdated profile photos and 'hatfishing'. From the hilarious to the heartbreaking, we share stories about height preferences, self-esteem boosts, and the aftermath of infidelity. Tune in for a rollercoaster of emotions as we explore modern dating complexities, offer tips for moving forward with confidence, and suggest empowering music to lift your spirits.
Hello, this is Toni from Bougie Bayou Witches Podcast. I am the host and this is the co-host, kamona, and this is our guest, nisha. All right, today is episode 21. We'll be talking about have you been ghosted while trying to date? Okay, so let me explain to y'all first about ghosted, what it is.
Speaker 1:Being ghosted while trying to date is, unfortunately, a common experience for many people, and ghosting occurs when someone you are communicating with suddenly stops responding without any explanation, just cut you off. Okay, this can happen at any stage of a relationship, whether after a few messages on a dating app following a first date, or even in a more established relationship. It often leaves the person who was ghosted feeling confused, hurt and wondering what went wrong. Oh, okay, so we're gonna go ahead and get started. Yes, have you been ghosted? Absolutely. Yeah, yes, I've been ghosting, absolutely.
Speaker 1:I was actually ghosting recently. I was ghosting on a date map shoot date all the time too, and I didn't do the ghosting. We introduced ourselves to each other. He asked me what do I do if I have kids? And maybe that night about 9.40, he deleted, he was gone. I don't know what I said. I have kids and, like, maybe that night about 940, he deleted. He was gone, like I don't know what I said.
Speaker 1:I went back and I thought maybe I pronounced words incorrectly. It wasn't even nothing you did or said. No, he was talking to other women and somebody else caught his attention, yeah, and he went with them and left you hanging. Oh, okay, I was wondering. I did a day nap, I do. I be like, okay, let me get a day nap, a break, so I can try to see if this person is talking about it. Then I'd be like I'll get back on it. Oh, I'm so sorry. I've been so busy with work A whole week later trying to respond to the other people, yeah, to catch up. Yeah, I was really going back, like it's multiple people they're communicating with. Okay, that's okay, cause as far as conversation conversation, right, I was like, okay, he was somebody that I would like to move forward with, but he moved forward with somebody else, or, or you can look into like, um, I'm the fbi when it comes to these guys.
Speaker 1:So I was looking at the pictures and the guy sent me a picture nice looking guy, told me what he did, come to find out, did a background check. That ain't what he did. He had took a picture he was in the hotel stand there and so he had a house on I guess I'm not really remembering about, I guess on 20. So he said he had a house and he lived on such and such. So when I zoomed in on the picture from the iPhone he had been like he'd been living in this hotel for months. Why he lying like we ain't going to forget. He should know us women got friends.
Speaker 1:I might know how to do our own investigation PI. You see, in those situations you know what I appreciate if you ghost me, like because I don't even want to have to deal with, you know, going down that path or whatever to, yeah, ghost me in those situations. But what if you and that person been talking for a while and y'all don't got serious and he ghosted you, how would you feel? Then? I probably feel the way. Yeah, I don't feel the way, because you don't put your time, energy exactly and introduce them to probably, I'm pretty sure, your family, your friends, and then you know your wife's looking. So why you? You know you're gonna turn me down. For what right you say you not even nice when you're nice looking, they still turn you down.
Speaker 1:I was thinking that I was getting ready to ask of that. Do you think that's an insecurity? Or they, you know, feel like um, you know they're not good enough for you because I have been without. What a guy. I think it was like four weeks in. You know we had met plenty of times and you know we went out, you know, to dinner or whatever everything. But as I start opening up to him more, I think I was too much, and when I said too much, and when I say too much meaning you know I really have accomplished a lot of things over my life and I think he was kind of intimidated by it. Yes, and that's another thing I've noticed Men and I don't care what y'all say, because I know, because I talk to men they're the ones that come up and tell me A lot of men get intimidated by women who have their stuff together, especially if you have multiple businesses and you got so many more accomplishments and you're a goal-oriented person and you ain't finna deal with no business.
Speaker 1:They don't like that. They'd rather just deal with somebody who ain't got nothing really going or someone that's working a nine-to-five. I'm just saying different things like that versus dealing with a woman that actually owns businesses and stuff going on, because they feel like if they do try to do something wrong or, you know, might want to play around some games, she ain't gonna put up with that because she's been doing, you know, taking care of her own bills and business. You know, taking care of her own self, basically without you. So why would she put up with some crap if you come into her life and start, you know, acting up versus a woman that might actually depend and need you and they'll just put up with it?
Speaker 1:They like toxic women. They like them. They need for toxic women. That's probably what it is they like the toxic women. I don't know if that's one of your questions, but toxic women they get control. They think they're saving the toxic woman from whatever she's supposed to be saving from, but after all that the toxic woman is actually smarter than what they think. And then they get mad. Okay, the toxic woman is the one that teaches them the lesson that I'm learning. That's the karmic lesson. Exactly exactly.
Speaker 1:I have been in a situation where I really cared for someone and he chose, you know, someone else over me, but that was his karmic lesson that he needed to learn, because I didn't have it in me to teach him that, because I don't have time for all these guys. No, we're too old for that. You and all these different circles making you buy me out, I don't, yeah, I don't need all that, I don't need all that time, and you know that's hard. Yes, we kind of like where we want to be at, we're just looking for our other, better half so we can go on trips we can have fun with, we can chill, relax. And I want to be goofy on TikTok, do a Netflix and chill. Wait a minute. You said you want to be on top of them. I want to be. No, no, well, that too, well that. But you know, I want to be goofy. Baby, where is your body? I want to be that girl, she's head, head, head. I want to be goofy at 10 on top, top, with the little, you know, the little couples and stuff. Yeah, with all the little questions, you can be crazy, but I just I take it, as you know, a blessing If you ghost me. You saw, you know the universe saw something that I didn't see, so I just have to, you know, appreciate it.
Speaker 1:But there was this one guy. I really, really cared for him Because I had just started opening it up to him. Don't we all? You want me to go beat him up for you? Yes, okay, go for it. No, but look, we be opening up and then it's like, okay, guy number two, guy number three, guy number four, I'm like you know what I'm tired. Next year, yeah, 25.
Speaker 1:I don't like the dates. I mean I'm learning how to date, I guess, because I was never taught how to date. It's like I'm having to date. We would get with a guy and sit with him for a while, right, and you know, yeah, I just, we gotta be married. So we don't. You know, yeah, because we got married when we was young and I 20s and stuff.
Speaker 1:So it's kind of like now, when you do get with these guys, now that we're in the 20th century, it's just like what the heck wrong? These men? Yeah, they don't know more at all. Oh, they soft drizzle. No, I'm not they asking you for money. You know, you know how to do the yourself. What is that? Oh, you going to cash out me some lunch money? No, I'm not they asking you for money Cash out. You know how they do the soft drizzle, drizzle they want. Oh, no, I ain't going to pay for that kind of money them days over with. If you ain't got no money, I don't even need to talk to your partner. We ain't on the.
Speaker 1:My mama and I wasn't doing it, let me say. Let me say with they brother, they homeboy, their baby mama, or I gotta take care of my mother, so I gotta live in her house for a while. That's what it is. I gotta take my mama. She real sick. In reality, he ain't got his shit together so he's staying with his mama, but he's trying to use that as an excuse.
Speaker 1:But I'm, you got some women that are doing the same thing. You got some women that are doing the same thing, all this material stuff and you know, not handling their business. That's, that's true. But I do have a question. Okay, that's kind of not even all it's off topic, but why do y'all feel that women love more of the toxic relationships versus a woman that has their own businesses and that you know that can hurt a lot?
Speaker 1:I think it's social media. I think social media portrays this certain image that you need to be with this woman. That's going to drive you crazy, that's going to have you toxic, and some men they just fall for that. They like that. They don't want a woman that don't care and that's not into all that toxicity and stuff like that. They want someone that's going to drive them crazy, that's going to constantly blow up their phone, that's going to curse them out, put their hands on them, versus a woman that ain't going to do all that because we ain't got time for that. I'm just saying Because I ain't trying to catch no cases or nothing like that. So like, why, what about us, those good women? They don't want that, I think too. And they feel like that, the woman that's toxic, that's very needy, and they feel like, okay, yes, because men do want to be needed and I have a, I still have a problem with that. And then you gotta, they want you to stroke their ego. Okay, yeah, it depends, it's my ego. I will do that now. I will do that. I will compliment you and I will shrug your ego. Yeah for it.
Speaker 1:You, at a certain point in our relationship, yes, yes, yes, but that whole I got. I need you, I have. I struggle with that Cause I'm I don't like, you know, to show my vulnerability. Yes, no. So I think that's you know where I go wrong Cause I'm going to give it 100. But I don't need you.
Speaker 1:I feel like a man in my life would be a bonus because, at the end of the day, I have been providing and doing for myself Absolutely so by me wanting to get a man, it's a bonus. You know, this man be like okay, like I got it, I want to have it. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Don't get it twisted. No, don't get Women and men. Your partner should be a bonus for you. Yes, not somebody that, oh, you got to take care of or they got to take care of you, the way that it's portrayed in reality. That person should be a bonus for you. Not your child, not somebody you run over, use, abuse. That person should be a blessing to you.
Speaker 1:Yes, I like Cheesecake Factory. I love Cheesecake Factory. To to the women that don't want to go to Cheesecake Factory, I do. I have everything on my plate and dessert. Same thing what she said I love Cheesecake Factory. I'm trying to see Did I go to the Cheesecake Factory?
Speaker 1:I think I might have went when I was staying in Houston. There is absolutely nothing wrong with it. But it's nothing wrong with going to Chili's. Okay, you know, just make sure you open my door, going to like Chili's and affordable restaurants that they can afford, or their drinks. I don't want them to say I spent all this money taking you out and we didn't move forward with me. So you know, I'll take them to somewhere a little less expensive If you want Everything. She just said Love me some Starbucks Macchiato. Yeah, stone, I can't die with you On the forehead. Look, we ain't do a little team, we'll do it. In fact, I'll make it easy for you. Let's do the grande. No, I want the venti. I'll do the grande, let's do the venti. I have a little bit of a word. I want Starbucks. I went to Starbucks.
Speaker 1:So let me ask y'all something? Did anything seem off or different? Like, did y'all see any red flags? Whenever these guys ghosted you, did you kind of get a hint? Or your gut intuition was trying to let you know that he might not be the one shouting, he might not be the one tweeting? Well, with one guy yes, I was waiting, actually waiting on him to ghost me. Okay, because it's just like I didn't.
Speaker 1:You know, I wanted with certain guys I'd be like to build friendships, but I don't think guys it's either they want to go meet with you. It's no in between, it's no friendship. But with this one particular guy I was waiting on him to ghost me Because he, yeah, we weren't going nowhere, but I was still conversating with him though Because I wanted to at least, because I'm the type of person, if we can't be nothing more, we still could be free, that's right. But a lot of guys, but I want to have all them guy friends in your phone and stuff like that you do, I don't know, just in case I might need an oil change exactly. No, you know, seriously, okay, I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you.
Speaker 1:What kind of oil change you talking about, ma'am? The one on your body? I'm talking about the oil change. I'm talking about both. Oh, okay, okay, why? Because she need an oil change. Okay, I'm talking about the one involved in the car, not my body part. That too, I just want to sit there and look at him while we at the dealership, because he going to pay for it, that part.
Speaker 1:I tend to want more guy friends than the actual lady friends. I can understand that part for me. I just they don't let you know if you in the wrong. Tell me if I'm wrong, because I ain't going to lie. You know, if you in the wrong, absolutely, and I love it Tell me if I'm wrong, because I ain't going to lie. I do be wrong sometimes. Be like Tony, you was wrong last night, I know right, I be hardcore on you and I appreciate that.
Speaker 1:So, because I'm quick with the you talking about, you talking about, have you been ghosted? Have I ghosted some men? I don't ghosted some. Oh yeah, I didn't ghost it. It's called Cut you off Very quickly. But did you warn them before you cut them off? No, I don't say nothing, I just do what they do. I ghost. I stop texting. I just get dry, that part Dry, and stop texting. I'm like oh hi, and then after that it gets real dry, Very, and they get the picture. Thank you, they're like man, she must not be that into me, okay. Next person yeah, yeah, it's no fun when they're like that.
Speaker 1:So how did y'all move on with y'all life after y'all was ghosted? She got that shit. Just move on. Went to work the next day. Yeah, she's bad in your feelings. You wasn't crying. You wasn't playing your love songs, music you know by the artists I was playing.
Speaker 1:Uh, future, yeah, toxic, you gotta be toxic. That period where I cry behind the guy yeah, no, that that's so. It's kind of like okay, he left me hanging. All right, fuck it. Oh, excuse me. Thank you, universe, for showing me he wasn't the one. I show gratitude and I move on. I should have seen if he had any friends. Oh, that's the toxic, okay, okay, that's a new toxic thing. When you haven't been toxic and you want to be toxic, it's fine. Yeah, yeah, I like that, okay. Oh, my goodness, the one that was with you, because I think he might be the one.
Speaker 1:Have you ever had that where you know you had a party, right, and your friend brings some guys over you but you check it out, his whole boy versus him. But then you'd be like dang, I can't try to talk to him because she tried to come out with him. I'm like I knew I should have got that. I totally agree, because they be trying to talk to all them girls on the slide. I don't know why not they do.
Speaker 1:Have y'all ever called the person and asked them why they ghosted you? No, you never did, never you. Yeah, I had a text he texted back. So that was a real ghost. Okay, I might have texted and be like, hey, how you doing if he didn't respond, or something like that. Then I just stopped, because then I realized, okay, it's over, yeah, but that might have been the past, I don't know. I took it back, I did. Well. Since you ghost me, I'm like, well, I guess the afterlife called you back, yeah. So, yeah, I did.
Speaker 1:Yeah, right, because you've been watching that white girl two, three days and he's silent and he'd be like, is it that other chick? Is she more intriguing? Hey, how are you doing? I haven't heard from you, are you okay? And he didn't reply. So maybe it's okay.
Speaker 1:He just didn't want to talk to me, and that's okay, that's okay, that's okay, that's okay, because some men, they ain't got the guts of the balls. They ain't got the guts of the balls to let you know. Why do you think that though? Why they toxic women versus the women that they actually could have. So I think too, when they juggling all these women, they they don't, and they were, they forget.
Speaker 1:I even had one guy told my he forgot he was even talking to me. Oh, he forgot he was talking to you. He was like um, a friend of mine friend of mine, I got a similar situation at that time. Who gave me, gave him my number, got a picture. We were talking one day and he had text and said, um, no, we were only having a conversation. And he was like yeah, so, um, how was puerto rico? I was like I never told you I went to puerto rico. But since you know, I went to puerto rico. So who was the last person that you talked to that talked about going to puerto rico? And I said we never talked about that. And then another thing we didn't talk about was was so dumb, you gotta learn how to write it down. Man, come on now, uh, going on with the women you're talking to. I said so, we never talked about going on a date. So, since we are going on a date now, meet me at the press cafe. So he showed up and I didn't show up. I ghosted him and blocked him and then told a friend of a friend what it is ghosted and blocked him. That's what that's what I'm talking about. Give him a taste of his medicine and then roll the bicycle down where he was at. No, ma'am, no ma'am, that's extra short time. He can't roll the bicycle and see if he's shoulder. You was being petty that day. I paid him $20 for two hours. I should have rolled that bicycle down and he was sitting there waiting. Look, you was like you know what I'm going to be paid with your hair. I cannot Do.
Speaker 1:Y'all feel like sometimes, when men or women you know ghost each other, that it can display some kind of mental state upon a person you know. Because what if they done invested some time in this relationship and they just up and ghost them? Sorry to hear that. It's just how, when you say invested time, like years, or just yeah, it could be some years and stuff like that, because it's happened before, it's not just only for just us on the dating apps and stuff like that, it can also happen to people that's actually in relationships and it may just up and disappear. Yeah, because I think you know some people have they all reasoned for doing it could be a mental thing. They know that side chick could be putting it down a little more than the main chick, so then they'd be like I'm not gonna be with her. It could be a number of reasons. Yes, I think he can play on somebody mental, but at the same time.
Speaker 1:I think that person should be strong enough to say you know what this could be a blessing for me. Maybe this person is ghost to me for my true blessings, that part, yeah, that have happened. You know, after dealing with somebody for many years, they just, you know, hey, I'm just, I've gone by my business. Well, they didn't tell me, hey, but they just, they just disappeared. I know, right, Let a man go, I'm the real ghost, because you're going to be a ghost if I ever see you. In the beginning I was worried if something happened to them. It do make you confused because you be wanting to know. Like all I want to know is what happened, what happened. But once they tell you, then you feel better because if you get closer you won't. But the side chicks, let them win now because they didn't get have to deal with Right, right right, the side chicks is winning, they are winning.
Speaker 1:So when a person do do somebody you've been talking to for years and they up and ghost you and they come back, how do y'all handle that situation? And they come back I moved, I moved. I won't change my number, but I moved. So you gonna go to that old address. That wasn't there, I don't go backwards, I go forward. So I don't go backwards, I go forward. So they call your number. Okay, so they ghost you. They call you from a totally different number and they be like hey, how are you being? How y'all hanging up? Oh, I'm hanging up, I'm hanging up. I'm going to tell you like this oh, now you finally decided to call me Boy. Bye, I'm all, I'm all, I'm all. Yeah, cause I have people that have.
Speaker 1:They always come back and I'm like dude, you don't gossipy what you coming back for? Oh, your dating life still boring, but we don't even get that far. They just be on the phone like, hey, how you being? Like they just disappear for 2-3 months in public with them, or they always on their phone. If you with me and we're out somewhere on our first date, why are you on your phone? His phone saw nothing on the phone. If you with me and we're out somewhere on our first date, why are you on your phone? You shouldn't even be. His phone should be on the table, not face down, but on the table. On the table, yeah, because I'm trying to be nosy and see who's dancing. Yeah, because I'm going to see, like you know what I'm a stinking, you know. Let's go for a dance. Right, let's go for a dance. Okay, I'm not ready for this date to end. I'll grab you by your ear like this.
Speaker 1:But y'all know what ladies you so sexy, you know. I feel they could be in relationships and stuff. They are, and they're just probably doing this because their wife or fiance or girlfriend isn't giving them that attention. So a lot of times they get on these dating apps and they go out in public and meet women and communicate with them so they can get that attention. Because men don't get it twisted Now, they like attention too. They do. They love attention, they love it. They get attention from that current person. They with they better get it from their wife. You know some other chicks they might meet when they run into or dating people. That's so true.
Speaker 1:Yes, so, yes, okay. So have y'all ever tried to kind of like reach out to them, like on social media and different things and stuff like that? No, ma'am, if I investigated you, I'd investigate. Oh, ma'am, if I investigate, I investigate. Oh, you said investigate. You know, like trying to go on social media, create fake pages? Oh yeah, I didn't get that. I ain't did that yet. But as far as reaching out to them, after I already text you and ask you if you're okay, you didn't respond. Reaching out to your social them, absolutely not. But I will, I'll investigate. I don't find that man. He was married to a whole family and had kids. Tell me about it, honey. Facebook is why you calling you. You like, look boo, what you calling me for. Tell you what you need to be. Uh, checking your man because he said he was single. No, true story.
Speaker 1:So I met this guy. Where did I meet this guy? At BLK? No, no, no. Pinch PLM no, no, no, no dating app. But I was out in public.
Speaker 1:Okay, so I met this guy. We started talking for a few weeks we would go out. He didn't live too far from where I live, but I would never tell him where I live. Okay, so he actually worked for TSA at the Atlanta airport. I put it like that. So let's just say we went out, we walked there my little. I do my walks and stuff.
Speaker 1:Okay, something was weird about him. He, after a certain hour he didn't want to text, he didn't want to talk. Red flags, he'll start sneaking around and I'll call him on purpose at 11 o'clock, just sit there and pick up the phone. Uh-uh, how about he only talk to you when he in the car? That too, don't you have one of them, men, that only communicate and sing voice clips when they in the vehicle? That too Okay. And then, after a while, I was like, okay.
Speaker 1:So I was waiting for his wife because he had messed around one day Sent me a picture with his oh. So I was waiting on his wife to call me. You've been old. So she did. She texted me and I said well, call me. And when she, when she called me, I said I've been waiting on you for two weeks, so let me, let me get fast forward.
Speaker 1:We, we talked. She told me that they were had. He had been doing. It's been on apps and all this crap, such as such and such. I know something to do, so I tried.
Speaker 1:So we had one on the on the club date, and I said he showed up there. I got pictures that he was there with the girls, with the crew. So I said this is what we're going to do. So he remember who I am. Let me know when he's cooking dinner. I love people disturbing people at dinner time.
Speaker 1:So I got my girls. I got all four girls. We all work together, my trouble buddies. She texts me her address where they lived, what I like her. She texted me her address. It was so funny. So you pulled up. I pulled up with the girls. Oh, yes, and I can back this up. I can call the girls and back this up. So it was four of us. Me would be five. So we pulled up.
Speaker 1:Wow, she opened the door. He was in the kitchen frying pork chops. I don't want to say hey, boo, how you doing. They all came in. She was like I'm having some girls over for a girl talk. She had the drinks laid out. We was getting ready to do some paperwork and stuff. I popped up. When I popped up, he turned around yeah, well, got that pork chop. Huh, yeah, he did drop the pork chop.
Speaker 1:I was like so why you didn't show up at the park? Because you just texted me 15 minutes ago, said you was coming. What did he say? He didn't know what to say and I said I know your wife. He was like I know her. I said yeah, because all these are my homegirls.
Speaker 1:So I said tell your wife what you was telling me. And he couldn't do that. He was just like I'm not going through this today. I said see, this is why people get hurt. You cannot do stuff like this.
Speaker 1:So if you knew you wasn't married, you just should have said I was married. She said I'm married with problems or something. I'm even just I'm married and I'm just looking to you. Know, just be. So. I got your jacket, I got all your stuff in my car, I gave it all back to him.
Speaker 1:So I just let her know like, hey, I don't want him, because I already knew something was up. Yeah, but if you can't even do, the simplest thing is call me after hours. They let me know you have a whole life and you got two kids and your ring camera pops up every time you leave the house. That's how she knew you were leaving. Oh, wow, yeah, yeah, so they're divorced, but he ain't doing it now. But she used to be married with two more kids. That's good. I'm happy for her, because some women the men could cheat on them multiple times and they still going to be with her, yeah, but she's happy. We still keep in touch and she always say, hey, you remember the time you brought the girls over.
Speaker 1:So I met a new friend that day. Wow, she didn't waste no time. She already knew what he was doing. You probably wasn't the first person. No, I wasn't, you had to, because I'm like for most time, you know, women feel like you know what. Hey, if that's just that one time, I forgive you. But by her divorcing him, he did that multiple times. He did yeah, and then he yeah. But the poor chap thing boy, that was so funny. I just his. I would love to. I would love to. I'd love to do something like that too. I ain't gonna lie, I'm petty like the chick. Hit me up. You know what better yet chick, let's, if you think I'm playing, but without he said, invite me over to your house so we can all be there, instead of them running us and trying to fight. How about we just come together? And they're so immature, they want to fight, they want to get mad at you when you didn't even know he was mad in a relationship. You know these men be lying, yeah, but ghost me.
Speaker 1:Let me ask y'all this what hurts more, rejection or being ghosted? What hurts more Ghosted? I love rejection, I do too. I appreciate it. Um, because when, when you leave, there will be another one. It's I don't know. I don't know I might rock with the rejection. You know, rejecting a person versus ghosting them. Because I mean, if you ghost a person, you know, especially if y'all feeling them, y'all don't have some good conversation, they might hurt a little bit, but I think the rejection would really hurt. They just, you know, straight out, rejected you. Now you're in my cup of tea, I want you. I'd rather be ghosted. I'd rather be ghosted. I'm a Capricorn, I'm cutthroat and I'm curious. I'd rather just ghost me. Well, it's the burgo with me. So I don't know, I guess I saw a rejection. We don't like to be rejected Before you leave. So, it's okay, I need to text one back now. Oh, you need to text back. I'm not. Yeah, I'm busy. Okay, well, y'all.
Speaker 1:So like say, for instance, did y'all notice or see any kind of red flags whenever these guys ghosted y'all? None the dry text. Okay, there you go, dry text. When they text you, like once while they at work and then when they get off work, you don't even hear from them all, mine, I think. The last one that I did was uh, he would text me all throughout the morning, like at four o'clock. I'm not up at four o'clock and then, and then next thing that we'll text all throughout the day which I hate and then, right before I go to bed, it get dry, and then I'll just pop up and we'll call at 12. And I'm like, oh, you're not answering the phone. Okay, but it means if he texts me at 4 in the morning, that means he's asleep. No, because he still be on that app. Oh, it'll still show you on the app. So he might have forgot to log off. That that's what it was.
Speaker 1:Do y'all, would y'all like to hear, like a reason why that person ghosts you? If you ever get that opportunity and you cross paths with that person again, would you ask him why don't you? I sure would. If I actually need to see a guy that goes to me, I'd be like why did you go to me? But do you think you're gonna get me now? Hell, no, but you see what's on his shoulder. Why he goes to you? Because nine times in ten they don't look as bright most men. Yeah, yeah, they date down. They show them pictures when they was five, ten years ago, how they look, and then when you see them off that app, you'd be like you, ball head shifted to the side. I think that's what it'd be too. They'd be afraid to meet you in person because they really not that person they portrayed to be on that app. But that was 15 years ago. Yeah, and you, because I don't met guys before and they didn't look like they did on a date nap. I even had one. Tell me y'all look better without the pictures.
Speaker 1:That's a catfishing. Yeah, catfishing, basically, man fishing, man fishing. You got to check for hatfishing with the hat on, but when that hat come on, that's why I said bow headed, look at me looking like flies with that hat on. Oops, did I say that? I had to do that to me? I tell him put that hat on so I can see.
Speaker 1:You got some hair I need to shave my mouth dropped. I was like you look like an old man then, wasn't he? He had that little piece of hair back there starting to grow back. It was bad, but did he have some money? It's not care about that. You got to make sure you shave your hair up all the way back. Now he looked like why does it make such a difference, y'all? Because he had a George Jefferson look. Yeah, yes, I almost threw up on myself. When I saw that, all I could think about was I'm messing with an old man.
Speaker 1:That was this one. This one got. He went from 45 to 85 real quick. Did you do this and just watch all the stuff come off? Or it was just not there? It was just not there. No, this dude was so good. But you know, these men wear these, the man wigs and stuff too.
Speaker 1:Now, now you got to say can I feel your hair and see if it's yours? Just know, that's why I always grab the ear and then work my way up to the head and then I have to touch the. We living in the days when we gotta start testing that. Yes, yes, the man, you know, the man units. I'm telling you that head fishes, that's, that's a real. Head fish is real.
Speaker 1:So that's why the man wearing a head on top we were at the at the bomb rush right at frisco, and we went out on a date like he had the head on, like he was looking so scroptious and somehow I don't know how we got to the point where it was time for him to release the hat. But he took it out. My mouth was. He felt it. He felt it and was like you okay. No, sir, I'm not okay. Release, release the hat, put that hat back on. Put that hat back on and I'll ghost you too, cause you can't be doing it. You can't make me. Thank you, you were released the hat, put that hat back on. Put that hat back on. I know that's happening to folks too. I ghost you and I ghost you too because you can't be doing it. You can't make me think you fine with the hat on, and then when you take it out, you ain't without it.
Speaker 1:Okay, speaking of that, speaking of that, so would you date a man that was short or would you date a? Or he got to release the hat. Yeah, no, I met this guy. He actually had hair but he was just short, so he used the hat to kind of give him height, yeah, and he the shoes he had on. And then I'm like you're really short. I like tall men. I'm sorry, my daddy's tall, my brother's tall, I'm just a short one. Yeah, you gotta be at least five, ten or higher, but I know I'm attracted. Five nine is shorter. Why is that? You get them short, man. You get five nine is shorter lately. These past five weeks been five, nine and short. I like them when they six, seven, six, eight, because I'd be like gosh, yes, like I really have to look up to them. I'm like 6'7". Keep me up, keep me up. Yes, I got you. I got you. I got you. I got you, I got you. I got you. I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you. I Okay with child ladies.
Speaker 1:That's my preference is 5'11 and taller. It's our preference. But we will accept shorter. Okay, we prefer 5'10, 5'11, but we will accept shorter. I'll let you get away with 5'8. No, she lying, she will. I got used to being, since I've been here.
Speaker 1:Tall men are really sexy. So I like tall men. I like tall men, but I can't go past 5'8 if I do, but I can't go past 5'8. Thank you, I just can't. I had this workout.
Speaker 1:What about y'all ladies? He was 5'7, he gotta be tall. What about you, chyna? I can't do nobody. I can't do nobody. I can't do nobody. I can't do nobody. I can't do nobody. I can't do nobody. I can't do nobody. I can't do nobody. I can't do nobody. I can't do nobody. I.
Speaker 1:It's like you're looking down there. I think the height goes to, but I think I don't know. I saw a shirt when he had a nice piece of package. Down there I had somebody. Well, we didn't say they didn't have nice packages, it's just our preference on that.
Speaker 1:I had this one guy to ask me. He was like okay, what if you meet somebody that five nine and treats you like a guy that part? Yeah, what would you? What would you do? I'd be with him. Yeah, I'll make him breakfast in the morning. It's called compromise. Sometimes you got to compromise a little bit, you know.
Speaker 1:But when I put them high heels on, don't be jealous, because I'm going to be taller. I couldn't answer that. I probably won't be taller because I'm so short. Anyway, I'm 5'3". I'm just answering the question because you're 5'9". I don't know about that. But yeah, I'm going to answer. I think that's my problem. That's why I had Timmy argue me it's 5'9" or do this. But I bet you said the answer to you was to start wrestling and tussling. Oh, he's 5'9". I watch wrestling. It's basketball players. That's 5'9" and they're amazing in basketball. I bet I'm sure Squeaky shoes and all Came with y'all.
Speaker 1:Maybe we can talk about having surgery to extend their kneecaps or something. Oh no, I know you just didn't say have surgery for to extend his kneecaps yeah, extend his legs oh no, I know. You just didn't say. I didn't say that he had surgery for extending his kneecaps. Yeah, he extended his legs. Oh no, no, no, no, he's going to have to be that high. He might as well just take the legs off and just not even. So you might as well be in a wheelchair for you then. No, I just roll out. You know they do surgery to make his hips up.
Speaker 1:If the surgery can be done to make a guy taller by a few inches, we can consider that, like how they got that extends pill. They extend men things. They get the stands that high. You can actually buy three inches. You know it's like we're going to be going to California. I would have him to. I'm going to get treated like a goddess, but I need you to be a little taller.
Speaker 1:Can you consider having a surgery and Mr Tubbs is going to? I mean, it's an investment, why not? It's going to go a long way. Yes, it definitely will. It's an investment for the both of us, but I don't know I'm going to accept the height that he is, especially if he's good to me. I'm going to accept the height that he is, especially if he's good to me. If he's 5'9 and taller, I guess that's cool. I'll make an exception, because normally I prefer him to be 5'10 and up, but if he's 5'9, that's just an inch, it ain't going to kill me. So yeah, I'm short anyway. So yeah, even though I prefer him to be tall, I'll make an exception if he's real good. Bye, bye.
Speaker 1:And then look at his shoes. Oh, I'm done with shoes. Oh my god, misha, why you so petty? Oh my god, you said, look at his shoes. We just talked about those shoes.
Speaker 1:I do look at the shoes. I didn't go along. I do. When a man walks up to me, I'm looking down and then I'll look up. You gotta look down at the shoes and then look up. I don't do that though. You don't do that though you don't. But that's good that you don't, because you shouldn't, but that's just. That's just that part. I listen, cause if it's oh, hey shorty, hey mama, hey little girl, you know, hey girl, you know I listen to stuff. No, but what lisp. I rented them too. So I know, I never knew I, maybe I I never looked down and got shoes before because they he could have on a regular shoes but still have.
Speaker 1:Just don't buy him those shoes. Bank account full of money, yeah, so you can't judge a book by the cover. I mean, I'll look at the shoes, but I will like, baby, we need you some new shoes. How about you buy both of us a pair? Yeah, we not buying them, but we're gonna buy us and get them too. Is space still open? They don't close down. Yeah, they're gone, they got. Well, I've been. They didn't close down. But I'm like in 2024, fashion over it's delivering shoes left and right. Yeah, yeah, but no, I've. I never looked out at a guy's shoes before. Matter of fact, somebody sent me a picture of their shoes the other day. I was like I like them, they're nice. I can't. Don't let the shame tell me you got some nice shoes. I cannot.
Speaker 1:Personality, character, morals that's what it should be like. That you know. But you know these cultural norms and social media and all that got us all confused these days. But, uh, back to that five, nine. I'm sorry, but with that being said, ladies, we're gonna go ahead and wrap this up. What do y'all have for the audience and the listeners.
Speaker 1:When it comes to being ghosted, nisha, I'm gonna start with you ghost them back, oh my god, no, but seriously, if they ghosted you, how you gonna ghost them back if you meet somebody else, you could actually, yeah, they always come back, always, they always come back. But no, seriously. Um, okay, if you feel like if, if you're getting ghosted, you're about to be ghosted, it's called, it's okay, it's not rejection, it's because, you're right, they found something, they come back around, right, they thought they found something better, but they actually didn't, and and then they come right back to the one. That's the best. You are in the prize and they just lost out. That's right, because then you don't want them no more when they come back around. That's right. No, you ghost him that part.
Speaker 1:Okay, what about you? Mom? I'm going to second what she just said. You know, don't beat yourself up, don't feel like it, dear bro, just looking at it's a blessing. I'm just gonna say this if he goes to, just look forward and I'll look backwards when he come back. Those just ghost him to ignore him. Oh, that's okay. No, you know, just um, like she say, don't beat yourself up and don't get upset and don't get depressed or anything. Yeah, it's too many men. Go put you on some cardi b, go put you some megan estallion, some nick and minaj and city girls, and they're to boost your self-esteem back up and you're going to realize that you are the shit. Okay, so, with that being said, y'all, until our next episode. Like always, drop your feedback down below Like, share and subscribe, and until the next episode, bye.