Human First, Musician Second: How to Set Boundaries and Take Care of Your Mental Health As A Musician
May 14, 2024
Eleanor
Last summer, I was working myself way too hard. I had so many things on my plate, not only practicing, but also reed making, creating this podcast and so much more. The result? I got migraines every weekend. That was my body telling me to stop, and for a while I didn't listen to it. Flash forward, and I have found some crucial skills to make sure that I take care of my mental self as a musician, as well as be able to work at my, at the projects that I'm doing and be passionate about them and excited about them. We're going to spill the tea about that today.
Last summer, I was working myself way too hard. I had so many things on my plate, not only practicing, but also reed making, creating this podcast and so much more. The result? I got migraines every weekend. That was my body telling me to stop, and for a while I didn't listen to it. Flash forward, and I have found some crucial skills to make sure that I take care of my mental self as a musician, as well as be able to work at my, at the projects that I'm doing and be passionate about them and excited about them. We're going to spill the tea about that today.
Last summer, I was working myself way too hard. I had so many things on my plate, not only practicing, but also readmaking, creating this podcast and so much more. The result I got migraines every weekend, every Saturday, seriously, just like on the nose every Saturday. That was my body telling me to stop, and for a while I didn't listen to it. I didn't set any boundaries with myself and, to be honest, I really should have Flash forward, and I have found some crucial skills to make sure that I take care of my mental self as a musician, as well as be able to work at my, at the projects that I'm doing and be passionate about them and excited about them, and we're going to spill the tea about that today.
Speaker 1:
Hello and welcome to the Confident Musicianing Podcast. I'm your host, eleanor, and, after countless practice sessions, a ton of broken reeds and seven different music school acceptances in three different countries, I have learned a thing or two about savouring your practising, becoming your best practice companion and actively working towards your musical goals, and I want to share this with you because I want you to become your best musical self. Are you with me on this? Let's get started. You with me on this? Let's get started. Hey there and welcome.
Speaker 1:
Today we are going to be talking about how to set boundaries with ourselves so that we don't overwork, and how to take care of ourselves and our mental health as a musician. So let's dive in. You know the feeling I'm sure you do of practicing without any structure and pushing through when your body is clearly telling you to stop. I was there. I get that feeling and, let's be honest, it's not the best thing, because, as musicians, we are told to keep going, to keep working, to do our very best. So we work and we work and we work, but because we're overworking ourselves, we aren't going to perform our best, because we need rest. Rest is productive. So let's talk about some ways to incorporate rest in our just daily lives.
Speaker 1:
The first thing we got to do is listen to your body. When your body is telling you to rest, then rest, or else your body is going to make you rest, just like with me and the migraines. Now, when you create time to rest, remember to include your mind. When you're thinking about practice while you're resting, that's not fully resting, right, when you're resting and you, your body is resting, resting, but your mind is like oh my gosh, we got to do this, we got to do that. What about that? What about that? That is not fully resting and I know it's hard. It takes practice to get your mind to calm down sometimes, but that should be part of what you are focusing on as well in your rest. Remember, your body is a guide. You got to listen to it. If your body is saying stop, then stop.
Speaker 1:
When I finally stopped forcing myself to work harder, I set a rest time every day. It was around 8 pm, or exactly at 8 pm, and I would sit and crochet and watch a show that I was watching at the time and it was really relaxing and it made my work time more efficient. So not only was it relaxing, it was giving me the rest that I needed, but it also made it so that I looked forward to my work. I was like, okay, I'm rested enough to really be passionate about my work and what I'm doing and be excited about it, and that's what we want. So what does that look like for you? Right, are you going to set a time to rest? Maybe it's around lunchtime, maybe it's in the evening? The evening, whatever it is, make sure you cut out time for you and remember, your mind has to rest as well.
Speaker 1:
The next thing is setting times for practice so that you don't feel guilty the rest of the time. Now, me just saying don't feel guilty. It's easier said than done. I get that, but setting times for yourself can really, really really help you feel less guilty when you're not practicing. So remember this your practice time is really sacred. It really is. So treat it like that. Plan what you will do, use a timer and focus during the session. Do it like you mean it Okay, like you got this. For instance, creating goals for each session can really help you focus in that session.
Speaker 1:
I recently had a conversation with Maestro Jacob Joyce, the associate conductor of the Pittsburgh Symphony Orchestra, and we talked about a lot of things, but we talked about how Maestro has never consistently practiced four hours a day. Instead, he focuses on specific things and has a plan to achieve them in the practice room so that he can spend more time doing other things as well. So when you're in the practice room, it is focus time, you have goals, you are ready to go, and so then, when you're not in the practice room, you can rest or do other things that you need to do. This conversation is episode 21. It is called Practice Efficiency Finding Opportunities and Leading Youth Orchestras with Maestro Jacob Joyce. There is a link in the show notes for that, so make sure you go check it out, because the conversation was so extremely insightful. Like even recording it, I was like I need to go back and listen to this when it comes out because it's so good. So make sure you go listen to it.
Speaker 1:
Now, in terms of goals for me personally, I create practice goals with two things in mind the time and the goal. So, for example, I will make these runs smoother in the next 15 minutes. I set a timer for 15 minutes and I focus on runs, or I will deepen my vibrato in this section in the next 15 minutes. I set a timer for 15 minutes and I focus on runs, or I will deepen my vibrato in this section in the next 20 minutes. So I set a timer and I focus on that, specifically those two elements the time and then what you're doing is really really, really helpful for setting practice goals.
Speaker 1:
The last thing we're going to dive into is negative self-talk or not doing negative self-talk. This is so important because you know how we talked about how our practice time is sacred, right? Well, negative self-talk hurts this practice time and this is your opportunity to grow. This practice time is your opportunity to grow. We're focusing on goals. We're focusing on how we're going to, you know, get better in the practice session. It is sacred, so beating yourself up is really, really, really not going to help with that. Instead, speaking to yourself in an affirming and encouraging way is so important. For instance, if you say something like, oh my gosh, I can't believe I've gotten this yet. I've tried so many times and it's just not coming, like what the actual heck? Then maybe reframing that to say something like this is taking longer than expected, but I'm still working on it and I'm working on it consistently and it's going to get better. See how I completely shifted that from something that was degrading and honestly rude to something that was encouraging and uplifting. This is the energy we need in the practice session, so make sure to do that. We dive right into all about this and how you can talk positively to yourself in the practice room, along with some other mindset shifts. In episode three it is called turning practice into power three essential mindset shifts to transform your session. I know episode three. I felt like a really long time ago. So make sure you go check that out in the show notes. It is in the show notes for you, so make sure you go click on that.
Speaker 1:
Remember your value as a musician does not equate to how much you practice or what you can play. You are a human first and a musician second. Remember that and take care of yourself. Let's do a quick, quick, quick recap. First thing listen to your body. If your body is saying rest, then go and rest and make sure your mind is resting as well. The next thing is set times for practice and then don't feel guilty the rest of the time. I know that's easier said than done, but if you really focus on creating goals and focusing on those goals, then those practice sessions can become so more efficient. And then, when you're not practicing, you can say I practiced, you know I did that and now I can focus on this other thing that I am doing.
Speaker 1:
Make sure to go as well. Check out that episode with Maestro Jacob Joyce, because, oh my gosh, it has so much good stuff and we talk about how Maestro effectively practices. And the last thing is negative self-talk and how you can reframe those negative statements into positive and encouraging statements. We dive more into that in episode three, so make sure you go check that in the show notes as well. All right, that is about it for this episode. Thank you so much for hanging out with me and for going through this. I am so grateful. As always, all of the things to do with this episode will be in the show notes, from the blog post that goes with this episode to episode 21 with Maestro Jacob Joyce and episode three all about three essential mindset shifts to transform your sessions. Do yourself a favor and check these show notes out, because, let's be honest, there are some good stuff in there and if you want to support and show your love for the Confident Musicianing Podcast, make sure you give it a follow and I will see you in the next episode. Bye.
