13 - To Filter or Not to Filter | The Sleepy Sisters Podcast

CW: explicit language is used in this episode
We use filters (and masks) to survive in the world, but what happens when they hurt us? It's hard enough to be human, so where can we find more ease and less hiding our full selves? Let's discuss!

Sleepy Sisters podcast is hosted by Elizabeth Brink and Sarah Durham. This show is unedited and often unprepared for, so we hope you enjoy our resistance to perfection!
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Transcript

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Just like what? Hello, welcome back to the sleepy sisters. I'm Elizabeth brink, Sarah Durham. And we are sisters, and we're tired. And we're talking about filters today and not the like, well, I don't know, maybe we will end up talking about who knows photo filters, but thinking more of like, you know, your internal internal filtering out your mouth. Yeah, I mean, I think any type of self expression, let's say, like, what's the difference between filtering and masking? Are they the same? I feel like masking to me implies more like when I think about it personally more about my neuro divergence, and kind of how I show up in all ways, I guess, like my face, my express through my body, you know, in addition to like, my words, and, and all those things, but I think if filtering, for me, I think more of just that human experience of you don't get to say all the things to everybody all the time. I hate that. hate that. I think that's mostly what I want to have. I was like, I just, I'm tired to have them. Tired of having a filter. I don't know if I said this before. But I did one time, say to Cory, like, I just wish that I could sit and talk about whatever I want for as long as I want until I have nothing left to say about it. And then even I can come back and say more if I want to. And I want somebody to like sit and listen. And just the look on his face was like, who knows? He thought I was like asking him to do this. He looked a little panicked. But he was like, Who would do that for me. And I was like, wow, I guess my sisters kind of do that. Like, I could, in theory, get on Marcopolo and send y'all you know, an epic video talking forever and about something and hope that you will watch it in like two times speed. But I it's like, then when I think of that, I'm like, No, but I would actually want engagement, I would want a response. I don't just want to talk at a wall. I do want to like interact. But I just want to be able to have all these words that I have have a lot of words. Yeah, I hear you. Okay, so before we get into, like, full on, I just want to say a couple things. I don't think we're necessarily going to like decipher between the filtering masking thing today. So we're just gonna like, is that fair? We can just chalk it up to whatever we can name it different things at different. I mean, yeah, your own nuanced definitions of all things. Yes. And I want to circle back to the Vanderpump comment that I made early in the season, because I set it on public record. I don't even remember what you said. But I remember so I had watched the I was watching the whole series because I got Vanderpump Rules as of the show on E. E Network Bravo on the Bravo network. It's just trash. It's reality TV. Right. And I had made a comment at the time, because I had been curious about this whole, like, scandal thing. And so I ended up going back and watching all the seasons. And because I didn't really do a deep dive into what the scandal thing was, I decided I was gonna go back, watch the seasons, and then work my way up to like, and then have context right. And I made a comment then and I have I feel like this is important to me because I made a comment about Tom Sandoval. And I was like, I don't understand what everyone's upset because he seems so likable. Okay, and I said, but I don't know I need to circle back to this later after I finish watching Well, I have finished watching I'm completely up to date. And that means no way in any dimension to me likable. He's a full human for humanity. On text all that I just Yeah, so I just wanted to hang my hat on Team Ariana. Okay. So I need to say I'm not going to get into it because it's not that important. I just had to make that full circle. Well, there's a new season and apparently she's not that likable in the new season by so if you're gonna bring that up, let me just say sorry, I haven't watched and we're gonna lose people. We can't talk about this show. Let me just say I have watched all of the season And great now I'm gonna have to come back and say he's only unlikable because of boundary she has actually has boundaries that doesn't really fit in with reality television. So Oh, yeah, attention. So all that to say full circle ended period at the end of the sentence, we're done. And moving on to. Okay. So I also want to say to that, because we're talking about filters, I just want to say to the audience that maybe this isn't the one that you listed with your kids in the room, because I may want to cuss today, and we typically try to not cuss. We had a conversation on that early on just, even though we don't really plan for these, we wanted it to be something that was, I guess, accessible anytime for people to listen to. And, you know, I may not, I may want to, like drop an F bomb today or something. So speaking of filters, we've been filtering out the cussing, and it's been fine. There are moments when it's like, there's a word I need. It's not here, because it's guesswork. But honestly, I might have dropped a shit here and there early on and didn't even remember. So if you're like, oh, yeah, no, Sarah is already cast. Well. We just didn't. Thank you for listening so closely. But I was thinking about, now I want to talk about Vanderpump Rules for this whole episode. But thinking about reality TV in general. And like this idea of like, how we found this space, where we can kind of glorify the lack of filters, and kind of Marvel in it. And I will say, like, from a young age, I have really loved reality TV, I think in part because of that, like, watching human beings, I guess be themselves, which I think was more true early in the years of reality TV than it is now. But be themselves and try to navigate the filters, try to figure out what they want to filter and not filter. And I just find I mean, I you know, it's like one of my special interests is people. So of course, I would love reality TV where I'm getting to just like, I'm in a lab coat watching thinking about all the ways these people are managing the perceptions of them their own perceptions of themselves. And a lot of it does come down to the filters and like who they don't use the filters around, and what kinds of filters they use at different points. And it's very relatable, I think, for me, like, I have different filters I use in different environments. And similarly to the masks that I have. I like the distinction of like, masks being about like, I'm trying to mask, I'm trying to keep people from seeing some part of me at all, and filters feels more like I'm trying to, I don't know, they both probably this Yeah, we're not going to do this sorry. So we're not going to do this mask, filters piece like feels like I am really trying to manage the perception other people have of me or the opinion that they have of me, or the access they're willing to give me based on the filters I use or don't use. And I think with filters, too. I mean, there's also the understanding that we're in a reciprocal connection. And I do try to when I'm filtering, especially when it comes to custom, because, listen, I have no problem with cussing, and I don't find it morally objectionable or that so I mean, I don't necessarily drop him in front of my kids on purpose. Maybe when I stub a toe, but I know that society everyone has different feelings about that and all of that. And I know that I don't necessary want my kids going to school and feeling other than some other way because they're dropping F bombs at school. Even though I won't be the only person they're getting language from I am a very impressionable person. And so I do try to be more creative, I guess with with how I express myself in those ways, but we know that sometimes a well timed cuss word just really hits a point. Like when you stub your toe or when someone you know, like meet some type of tension in that moment. It's like it only feels good to say only it feels good to say. So all that to say I Do you think that sometimes the filtering too, I think about that, and when I was thinking about talking about filters at all, my biggest tension is I, one of my values is being wholehearted, and being completely authentic. And when it comes to my social media presence, and like, how I share my art and the things I share in my art, or in my reels, I really have been struggling with that part of myself of I'm not necessarily a polished person. And so I don't want to spend an exorbitant of time like putting something out there, that's going to be super polished. Because it starts starting to lose that grit that realness to it, you know, but I'm also like, I don't have submission as a children's book author. And so it's like, people are gonna find me, like, Who is this person and, and I, but at the same time, I am a full human with all different types of things. And I actually posted a poem The other day with the word fuckery in it, and I just felt really rebellious and wonderful. And just like, this is just one another part of who I am. And it just felt like the right word. And I feel like there's always that tension with how much of me and how I want to self express in this moment, I read this specific topic. You know, is okay, you know, without some type of like, consequence, and do I care about a consequence, and I mean, it's really like a, a lifelong learning to kind of pose yourself as a certain way or a certain person, so that you can either fly under the radar or get attention or whatever, like, for some kind of reason that's protective. And this idea of filtering, I think, is protective. And I think it's necessary, just like I think that way of masking and but this idea of casting, what's interesting is that I in recent years have met multiple people who pass around their kids, they don't filter, they let their kids cuss. We grew up in Texas, this is just like not commonplace in people's homes. They're, for all all kinds of reasons people can just fill in the blank. And so it's interesting because I, it really challenged me the first time that I met someone who their kids cast and they didn't have any feelings about it. They it didn't, it wasn't a thing in their household. Yeah. And I also think back to like, knowing that mom's favorite password was shit. And I it's like, she made some negotiation with herself that like that was the one she was just going to not filter out. Like, I'm just this is one I'm going to use. I don't remember her using it around daycare kids. I will say that. But I remember at least as a younger person. I remember her using that word every now. And they always like, excited me. Yes. Well, Jake, my eldest like, he thinks it's just absolutely ridiculous that I monitor that in any way in front of the littles. He's just like, who cares? Who cares? This is a made up thing about these words. And I'm like, I get it. You're also not a parent, I get it. And I actually don't, I wouldn't necessarily, I think it's funny if I hear kids cuss or whatever. I think for me, it's like I think about all of the challenges and I think about how not progressive like the systems that they're in are, yeah, well, I want to add that to their plate where they're already struggling and saying, you know, hey, like, it's your own way of doing way like we are raising kids in these parts of the country where like, this isn't like socially acceptable, especially coming out of children is making me laugh because my kids right now have this thing that they're saying. It's okay, I'm gonna get it wrong because we've been practicing because they correct us every time but it's dang it. Darn get hard target market. So it's something appropriate for that because they use it the right way. They'll go dang it. Don't get hung up. Margot. Coin, I started doing it. Divergent I don't write ever. It's so hilarious. Cory and I have been saying it. We often get the order wrong. So then one of the kids will be like, dang it. Torngat Arn get Margot. Yeah, it's brilliant. But what I was gonna say about that is that they say it really fast. And we were at a playground a couple of weeks ago. And one of them was saying it and I felt in myself a little bit of constriction and like, just that like activation of like, oh, no, I should tell them to stop doing that, right? Like, there's all these parents around. And also, we're getting to the point at six and seven, where my kids are the big kids up on the playground a lot of the time now, which feels so weird. And so, yeah, I was feeling like very, a way about it. Like, I need to make them stop saying that, but then I'm like, they're in the middle of playing? And am I really going to have a conversation with them right now about how that's maybe kind of inappropriate? Or maybe some people don't want their kids saying, dang it, which, you know, was like the clean version of dammit. No, I don't know. It just like did something in me, because it's like the closest to cussing. We've let them come. And it is really funny to us. And it's also like, I don't know, it's just like, not that big of a deal. But then in this other setting, I was like, Oh, I wonder if like they would get corrected at school. And I have kids who are incredibly sensitive to negative feedback if they have broken a rule, like really sensitive. And so I absolutely don't want them to be in a position if I can help it, which I can't always to be like corrected on this thing and have them devastated during their school day because they're saying this thing that their parents think is funny. Yeah. Also, though, too. Let me say something about that, too, because that's a really good point. The other flip side of that is I had my eldest you know, Jake, he very much the same. But as he was experimenting, do you remember that thing that happened in my living room where he came to me when he was in like, is he gonna want you to tell this story? Oh, I don't think he'd care. Cuz he's like in fourth grade. Okay. And so I were, we try to be good, but this is I feel like this is a pretty good I don't think so. He came to me one night, and he was very, very distraught and was pacing back and forth in front of me could not spit out this thing that was and he was crying. And he was I mean, he was untethered, stressed, I could not get him to tell me what was going on. I thought something terrible had happened to him. And after several long minutes of me feeling like I was going to vomit because I didn't know what he was going to tell me. He tells me he was experimenting with cussing on the playground with one of his friends. This kid was didn't even get caught. He just, he was confessing. And he was experimenting with these silly words. And thought he doesn't mean so morally era. Era. Era era. reprehensible that err on the front sounded right. Um, or maybe irresponsible is what I'm saying but reprehensible that, like he thought he was like, basically confessing murder to me. So it's like, there's also this part of me too. That's like, with the littles. I'm trying to toe this line that they do ask me about some of the stuff. And I will say, I mean, they're just words, but then we have to think about like, who we're saying them to and whatever, because I go back to another theme that's been coming up with Elizabeth and I, and that is you and I talking about healthy aggression. And what an easy way to pop off some healthy aggression than just right, like just like this. Yeah. And like your, you know, your vocal cords are really close to your vagus nerve. So things coming out of your mouth sometimes is soothing. Your system is sometimes part of your nervous system having a response. I want to do a whole episode on healthy aggression. Okay. I wanted to like yeah, I totally want us to get into that because I Yeah, also too, with like, the cutting tool. I'm definitely not talking about name calling. It isn't I'm just talking about the like, you know, yeah. AD and like, something happens. And this is out to like, the third. It's not towards a person, necessarily, and that kind of thing. So yeah, I don't know. So thinking of these kinds of words that get filtered out of homes. When we were growing up, we were not allowed to say Shut up. You remember that you weren't either. And it was actually the S word. So when you're someone's like, oh, they said the S word and you're thinking, oh shit, even suck. We couldn't say suck. Yeah. Yeah. So we couldn't say shut up. So I don't want my kids say that. I just find it to be so utterly mean and rude and like, I just don't like it. I do not want to be told to shut up. I don't want to be shushed. Like all I just like find that very irritating and triggering. And I also think it a lot because I do want people around me to stop talking or stop, whatever. And. And so in the last like week or so one of my kids, I'm going to try to keep this from like, who it is, but it'll be probably pretty obvious. One of my kids has been having, oh, what are they calling it, they're calling it like a an angry party, I think is what it's being called. And this child will bury their whole selves headfirst into all of the sofa, cushions and blankets. We have a bunch of like, throw blankets into the corner of our couch with this big sectional. And then we'll scream on the top of their lungs. I hate you shut up. You're stupid, ugly. And it's kind of a combination of those things. I guess you're a stupid ugly is a pretty big Zinger. I don't know. But Shut up. And I hate you. Now I do let the kids say I hate you to me. And as part of like, Dr. Becky on line. Good enough. What is her thing? Good enough? Good. Good. We're having a hard time or something. Yeah, I don't agree with everything that she says it does. But this one particular thing she was saying like kids saying that they hate you is like a part of how they are accessing that healthy aggression. And so I've really tried to like not monitor and like, correct them for saying that, and have just chosen to not take it personally even though whew, it's hard sometimes. But yeah, so these, like, these angry parties will talk about this more on the healthy aggression episode too. But what's interesting to me is the words that are being used, because I'm like, these are the words that this little person has like, catalogued as the ones to filter out, right? And they're going into this angry party to release the filters and let it all hang out. And like stupid, ugly, I hate you and shut up or the like, you know, this is a young child. Yeah, they are still technically doing it in front of us. But I just think it's interesting, because I feel conflicted around like, I don't want to necessarily sit here while you unleash all this stuff in front of me. It's loud and all that. And I don't I'm kind of glad they're not like running up to their room where I can't hear it at all, because I'm like, you're still actually here. And they come out from the pillows and say, Oh, much better. I'm having an angry party later. Yeah. So it's just this like whole thing around like, I think cussing, at least from my experience growing up. Is there is this like, heavy correlation to aggression? Around crossing out laughing and joking around to be but it's always kind of has that connotation of hedge. Right? Spicy aggressive, right? Yeah. Yeah, like ill mannered. And what's what's funny about it, though, is that you and I don't know, I could definitely say myself, I don't want to speak for you. But I definitely don't filter myself in many ways that are not that are probably not socially acceptable. Like, I will be like, Oh, this is ridiculous. I'm not doing this anymore. And yeah, you know, I gotta go to bed. This is for the birds. You know, so it's not like I'm looking to be I don't need everyone to like me. I know. Not everyone's gonna I you know, I really try to be my most authentic self. And I also have a visceral reaction to like in authenticity. And so when I'm in a room of like, someone checking off things, and it's just like, whoa, killing me small then I'm, I am more likely to like give an eye roll or just be refinished. So it's not like my filter is like a gold star. It's like all those memes that are just like this could have been an email or I will say that text me instead next time. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. I I have the It's like a very complicated relationship with this stuff. Because I feel like I appreciate filters, other people, sometimes. And then other times when people are so heavily filtered, yeah, I feel like they're not human, like, I don't even know anything about them or what they stand for don't it's like, really hard to get to know people who are really heavily filtered. But then people who have no filters, that just does sometimes make me feel unsafe. Yeah, they just start talking about. I had someone in the last couple of months that was talking to me about how they have a coworker who just starts talking about all their trauma, like and like graphic stuff. Yeah. You know, at lunch, it's like, Excuse me. I mean, there's boundaries. I mean, boundaries are parts of filters as well. And I think that when you're thinking, when I'm thinking about my filter, I'm thinking about, where do I need boundaries? What boundaries, you know, do I want to like offer in my own way of showing up, I feel like as respectful unknowns that are in the room and stuff like that. And I think with middle age, too, coming off the menopause, it was so too, is that you just have less of them as you get older, because? Well, I do anyway, because of her perspective. And yeah, and you get more comfortable with who you are. And I think you're, you know, most people as they get older, they have a smaller circle of people around them. Just logistically, it's hard to keep up with a lot of relationships. It's not true for everyone. But I would be willing to guess for some people. It's also like, oh, I have a much smaller circle and the people who are in it, I am not that filtered around. And so I forget that this is a filter that should be used in this environment, especially as you actually have memory issues. Like you're in a space and you're like, Oh, I mean, I can remember being like, I don't remember specifics, but I can remember with both grandmas having moments where I'm like grandma, Oh, yeah. That's, we don't say that or what? And feeling like very uncomfortable. Like, they're not children, but they're, what is this? Like, unfiltered? I don't care. I'm just gonna say the thing. That's so true. You know what I mean? Like, you said, that was farting. Because I feel like legitimate filter is such a filter topics, like who does not struggle with like, and I get it all along with cussing. It's, it's like it's gonna come up. And it's like, you have to choose very wisely and sometimes with my kids and I will say as you get older and go through like, I mean, sometimes it's not super easy. Like we used to laugh about mom like walking across the room, like sound like a tugboat like floor strength, your pelvic floor back to the menopause up. It's no joke. And my kids will just be like, what they're getting more used to it, but, but to say is that one of the best the grandmas, they would do stuff more, especially the great grandma's. And the and they were much, much older. I remember thinking it was so taboo. And I'm like, now I'm like, I get it. I can't be I can't be sitting here with every single part of me clenched and constricted, every possible thing coming out of my body and still breathe. Like that's just I'm going to keel over. I'm gonna have to loosen up some muscles here. And that means that like, natural things might happen. And that topic is it's just like, hysterical to me because it is so taboo. And I would be willing to bet if we like went and looked up, like, at what point did we feel like women didn't do gross things that are natural things. You know, women don't poop. They don't. To they don't all this stuff. I told Cory when we got married. I do not shoot. Yeah, yet. Yeah, yeah. It's not true. But like, and he knew it wasn't true. But it's just like the party line. Right? This is our filter here, honey. I do not shoot and that is your statement about it. And that is my statement about it. We do not acknowledge this part of me being a human. Yeah, it's just so ridiculous. And rattle. Sometimes he'll be like, nice. Mean, scorecards. I just need to be free. I don't need like the person on the side. Olympic point six. Just need freedom and I need the earthquake. I needed to not be a conversation. Just let it be the one which is how I treated it with mom and grandma. It was just like they were walking by and they too did it all. I would almost look like a busier than I was before. You're looking at something on the calendar. I know. I am so busy. I'm gonna clean it. I'm gonna make someone just make a noise, nothing, nothing here, nothing here to see. Which is like, what was I doing? A nobody told me to do that. But there was just this, like, I need to protect their dignity at all costs. And like also, why did I think them passing gas? A natural bodily function was like undignified? Well, one of the things you know, I agree as a middle school teacher. Oh, why? Oh, tell me before I get into myself. I mean, it's like, you know, when deodorant was invented, it was marketed to women. Oh, yeah. It was all about and same with like Listerine and all these like, things around hygiene were all marketed toward women, not smelling in any possible way. And I think that's it's part of the holdover from that our ancestors were not holding in their toots. Now, they didn't have time for that they were like, farming and gathering her busy, hard labor, like no one had time to clench. Well, I won't be. So as a middle school teacher, the one of the worst, most humiliating things that could happen to you is to rip wind by accident in silence or like, not very loud. And you're sitting there, whatever. And so, I mean, no way would I do that, that was painful as a teacher, because I would never live that down. But I got a fart machine and start hiding it around the room. And it was really fun before they really figure out what it was. But I would just put it out. And I would just animate all kinds of like different kinds of farts. But it was, I think it helped not make those things such a big deal. It was also hilarious, but it helps make some of those things not a big deal, because someone would inevitably do it. And you would watch like the fire the rap, go up them and you're just like, they wanted to die inside. And it's just kind of like, what they did they after I would do that as a prank, right? And then I would give one of them to do it as a prank when like the sub would come or whatever. It just kind of what if it did happen? It just was like an added bonus. But it just didn't say though. Do you have the machine again? Yeah, sure the machines going. But it is that that whole idea that like this basic human natural function, along with all the other things that go on in our bodies, become shameful has to be hidden away. I mean, do you remember like getting your period and like, you would have to like you would go to the bathroom? But the stress of no one like what am I going to put it in to carry so that as you take your purse, right? Everybody knows everybody knows taking juicy Sarah, she left she had her purse. She has her period. It was terrible or brilliant, like put something in your pocket? I mean, God forbid, like you didn't know that day. And it was just I know. Okay, so I'm listening to that book. It's so awkward about modern puberty, highly recommend anybody who has a young child. And I just was listening to the chapter about periods earlier today, and they were talking about how Gen Z kids like have been a lot less discreet about period products. And that like they just are like it's just a part of life. Like I need these things. I have to use these things sometimes. And so they're like, just carrying stuff around in their hands. Can you imagine carrying a pad to the bathroom at school? Fair hands watching Z they made me so happy. I'm like good job, y'all. Come on. Yeah, yeah. Okay, so I don't know where we go from here. Except that I do think that there is like a helpful space of like reflection around how do you filter yourself? Is it really necessary? Where are there filters that are actually like, causing you discomfort or pain or right like making your life a little bit harder for you to just like be who you are. You know, if you while we were talking about holding in your Toots were like feeling the memory in your abdomen of what that feels like to swallow a tooth. It is not the same as swallowing a yawn, y'all. It's just not. Oh, yeah, that's another filter. So, like, I will have like, clients. I remember having students. I mean, sometimes you just have to yawn, and I am not I tell me what, I do not take that, as you're bored. Yeah, you might just be relaxed, you might just be whatever, and you might just be tired. Well, I don can be a sign of like a somatic discharge to like, in therapy, you can have a big yawn or a burp. Or you can start sweating. There's all these somatic things that can happen when you actually like, do loosen up something somatically within your body. So it can be a sign of like, goodness, yes. And I had someone swallow a yawn. I said, Oh, don't do that. You don't have to swallow your yawn. And she started giggling. And I said, Yeah, I mean, I don't take that in any type of way. And she's like, oh, gosh, I mean, yeah, you know, your front row with your like, Professor or whatever you think. And I'm like, Yeah, I just, I don't look at that as a sign of anything other than, like, you just had to yawn. And we don't need to get into why, but just let your body do it. The worst part about yawns is how strong the mirror neurons are, because you're just talking about them as making me want to yawn. It's like this whole thing, right? Where like, our bodies just will sync up and we will yawn together or, yeah, that's a really interesting filter to like, just, I think talking about this made me realize, just, they're just everywhere, we have to think about them constantly, and renegotiate and act like ask ourselves questions and decide how you want to show up. And I guess when I first was thinking about talking about this, I was thinking, maybe we could come up with like, something that would make me feel like it would be less work. And the truth is, I just think it's just part of the human experience being in systems and relationship and all that. Because I definitely don't want to become one of those people who just says whatever they want, whenever they want, it doesn't consider others. But where can I be a little more authentic and challenge some of those old stories about? Really, what does that say about me that I use the word fuckery. And nothing and I actually feel proud of it. And I didn't take it down, and I'm good with it. But it still is live and free. A little bit up there. Right. And I just, I wonder and I'm making a note of this, because I think there's another topic here for us. But I think the like correlation not just to healthy aggression with filters, but also to embarrassment. Like being embarrassed. Oh, you're trying to avoid feeling embarrassed. Yeah, that's the filter, isn't it? Yeah, it's like it's protective. It's like I do not want to embarrass myself. I don't want to feel shame I don't. It's like a lot of these things. We're filtering are just our humaneness, which is gets tricky, fast, you know. And again, and if you have some, well, I think what's funny, too, about the filter, too, is let's say you're in a room or in a meeting or something and someone farts or someone Mexican belches or something. If you are unapologetic about it, and you're just like, yeah, that's my body. Just wow, just keep on going. People are offended. You ever see and people will be more likely to be like, I don't I'll do but if you are like, oh, excuse me, oh, it's, it's just part of being a human. No worries, like, you know what I mean? Like, I feel like there's also this other like layer of how you, you know, show up in these human ways to depends on how accepted they are. That's another societal No, yeah, you know, or whatever. And I think I just want to show up in some of these areas, and just it not even be a conversation. Yeah, that's how that person decided to express that numbness of the fourth Pro. That's exciting. You just had to do a thing. Definitely sat on a plane with someone behind me or in front of me who was passing gas was to the whole flight. It was very, very uncomfortable for me as someone who has sensory issues with everything smells too. And I remember like getting up to go to the bathroom to see like, is there a baby around here, that poopy diaper so that I can just like relieve myself of the irritation? Like why aren't you holding that in? And like really feeling like, the good and decent human thing to do is to hold it in and it's like, of course I felt that way. But also it feels a little shocking and like disturbing to be like, Oh my gosh, I just This was like, Y'all are not going to be human for the next however long This flight is and then if need to be human, there's a bathroom and you can wait in line. Go through it in there. Yeah, yeah. And the rules change from environment do. Yeah, yeah. Airplanes. Okay, this was fun. That was fun. I had a good laugh. We're going to talk about healthy aggression. Embarrassed. We're not promising the next episode. We don't know. No, but these are topics that have bubbled up. Hey, if any of you who are listening, now that we know we do actually have a handful of listeners, literally a handful. If y'all have a topic idea, please send it to us. Yes, we would love that. Also, we are going to at some point be bringing our siblings on one at a time and interviewing them. So you're going to get the full experience of the Snyder pod or family. Just yeah, we also are not promising when that will happen. But it'll be this calendar year. We can say that. We can say that we still have a ton of things to talk about. Yeah, never, never not having things to talk about. Back to Full circle. We have a lot of words, huh? All right. Thanks for hanging out was fun. All right, love you. Bye bye.