T3 (Training Together on Tuesdays)
Love Languages
Have you ever found yourself pondering whether a simple hug or a well-timed compliment could hold the key to a loved one's heart? Prepare to have such curiosities satisfied as your favorite trainers bring to light the transformative powers of the five love languages. With Valentine's Day on the horizon, our candid exchange sheds light on how these love languages—words of affirmation, acts of service, quality time, physical touch, and receiving gifts—play pivotal roles in fortifying bonds, whether they be romantic, familial, or platonic. Through personal narratives, we reveal the magic that ensues when we tailor our expressions of love to align with our partner’s, children's, or friend's emotional dialect.
Have you ever found yourself pondering whether a simple hug or a well-timed compliment could hold the key to a loved one's heart? Prepare to have such curiosities satisfied as your favorite trainers bring to light the transformative powers of the five love languages. With Valentine's Day on the horizon, our candid exchange sheds light on how these love languages—words of affirmation, acts of service, quality time, physical touch, and receiving gifts—play pivotal roles in fortifying bonds, whether they be romantic, familial, or platonic. Through personal narratives, we reveal the magic that ensues when we tailor our expressions of love to align with our partner’s, children's, or friend's emotional dialect.
Good morning, good afternoon, good evening, cheers everybody. It's 5pm somewhere in the world, and welcome to T3, training Together on Tuesdays. I'm Trish, and with me are Tony and Jamie, and we're here to learn from each other's tales, share tips and discover new tools. In this episode you know, because Valentine's Day is in the future, of course we're going to talk about a relatively new concept, which is love languages. What are love languages? Why is it so popular now?
Speaker 2:I'll start this Trish. I don't know if we can see it in our video, but we're red now because Valentine's Book has been published. I first heard of this love languages during the past, way back in 2012. But I still don't understand it that much. But I think it was conceptualized by Gary Chapman in his book in 1992, love Languages. There are five ways now on how a person show his or her love for somebody.
Speaker 1:What are the love languages?
Speaker 3:I think there are a couple of a few of them. There's the love language of affirmation. There's a love language on acts of service.
Speaker 1:And then there's also.
Speaker 3:I'll reserve the rest to Jamie, but those are the first two I think that I can recall.
Speaker 2:And, I think, the other ones. You said the words of affirmation acts of service. There's quality time, physical touch, receiving gifts. This is where you give something to that person to show your love for them.
Speaker 3:We can talk about it one at a time. I remember distinctly we even had a course on this To say something to your goal, yeah, yeah. And then we tie it to communications.
Speaker 1:That's great.
Speaker 3:There's a stem that connects it to it, when you're able to express your needs to someone, and it's not limited to just spouses or your lovers, but even, let's say, in the family or even in the workplace. The stem of all our being comes from the way we interact, our small interactions that we map early, so it's an expression of your needs to someone.
Speaker 1:So you know what, if you have love languages or you just have a gut feel, what's your love language?
Speaker 2:When I didn't know much. I mentioned 2012, but before I wanted my love language, because there's receiving and giving love language. There's a difference between receiving love language and giving love language. I learned that receiving love language I feel at best when I receive words of affirmation. I feel love when I hear it. But giving is the acts of service that I show my love by doing special things to the people I love, like cooking, cleaning for them, the usual stuff that I do here in the house. But when I finally understood what love language is, I understood what my husband was doing, because before we weren't too in sync, because he has ways on how to show his love that I wasn't too good at receiving words of affirmation but he wasn't too good at loving me.
Speaker 3:He wasn't too good at calling me.
Speaker 2:He wasn't too good at calling me, so I was waiting for him to come to my house, but he was more of a service, so I just understood that he has ways to show his love. He loves to be kind to me, so I got him to be kind to me. So even for my children I have three kids. My eldest is not really the acts of service, but he's kind enough to hear the words of affirmation coming from us You're doing a good job, Keep it up, You're doing very good. He's better than the other kids I have. He's always receiving gifts. He always wants to give them to feel that they're in love. So they have those. So it really helps in establishing communication or harmony in the house by understanding the different love languages of each other.
Speaker 1:So that's a way you can improve your relationship with other people. I think I don't really practice love languages. I don't analyze them. I think it's not just for lovers, it's for family members, and Jamie also does it with her family, so I think maybe I should also do that with my kids. I don't analyze them, but I think it's a good idea to have a good relationship with them. That's my new habit for today. I think home work will be on.
Speaker 2:You're like a little girl. What are your love languages?
Speaker 3:I shared mine words of affirmation, but you when I was younger wow, that's so good, that's so good.
Speaker 1:So I'm older now.
Speaker 3:Okay, so when I was younger, the love language that I want to receive I'm the receiving end. I want affirmation and a lot of physical touch.
Speaker 3:Maybe it goes with age, especially if you're in a romantic relationship that's what same to with Jamie Women. The girls always want to be praised, want to be affirmed, recognized. Or it's not just how beautiful you look, but it's really more about at work you did so well, or at home you fix this so elegantly, or whatever. I guess it goes with enough. I don't know, some women would be leaning on that. And then physical touch also.
Speaker 3:I'm a touchy-fee person because it goes with that all the time I always want to be close to the person I love. That's how it is, but over time it's also changed. I guess it's also changed. So now at this stage I have a love language. The love language I want to receive is really mostly time Quality time and then there's service also, because when you do service, you're also making time, you're also investing time to do your acts of service.
Speaker 3:Now as someone who provides love to someone else. Wow, my love language to someone that I love would be gifts. I love giving gifts because I learned through experience that not all people want that. Sometimes maybe some people get annoyed or they are not too comfortable with that. But, who doesn't want to get gifts. They're free and that's why we have a Santa Claus concept.
Speaker 1:Christmas.
Speaker 3:So I like giving not only gifts, but giving. What do you call that? Sharing your expertise to someone, sharing your knowledge to someone? So I guess it's also like form of a gift.
Speaker 1:Training, the thing Training the.
Speaker 3:Thing. Training your knowledge sharing your best practices to someone. It's a form of a gift as well. I also like so when I make time for you, because when I make time for you it means I like you, or you're close to me, or you're close to my heart. Because, when it's not important, why would you make time? And that's something which is irreversible, so you can't create that and you cannot recreate it. So when someone gives me time, it's important.
Speaker 1:And if I?
Speaker 3:give you time. Also, it means I'm investing on you.
Speaker 1:Because, time is something that you can never give back.
Speaker 3:So get back to that. You're making time for that.
Speaker 1:You can't spend that time that you spent with that person Exactly so time is so precious and when someone gives time is gold.
Speaker 3:Yes, very important. Trish also would like to hear from Trish, yeah.
Speaker 1:Actually we're the same but I'm new to him, so time really is my thing. I was very jealous of myself with time, with games. I didn't have any other aspects, I didn't have any other camps, but when it comes to time I really guarded my love language. If I love someone, I really want to spend time with that person. I'm a very clean person. I'm also very clean at some point my love language is physical, touch and time.
Speaker 2:Because I'm clean Nice.
Speaker 1:I'm very strict. I'm very strict. That's what I really like. I feel like the same as with Tony if you love someone, you make time for that person, and time is something you cannot give back. That's my husband. I think love is typical of guys. I don't think they are vocal, so I'm an affirmation that I don't want that person to be my husband.
Speaker 2:Okay, that's what that part is about.
Speaker 1:Yes, I think so, but love language is service. So he loves to follow and he cooks for us.
Speaker 3:So I don't cook, I cook at home. It's delicious.
Speaker 1:And his cooking is plating. They don't cook for him. They just have presentation effort. That's his love language. I think, like I said earlier, I need to analyze what my kids' love languages are. I don't think I've thought about that yet, so I'll give you a break.
Speaker 2:Because there are differences.
Speaker 3:I just wanted to highlight something If there are men listening to us, we're not saying that all of you can't express your love to everyone. So we just wanted to make it inclusive.
Speaker 1:We're not generalizing, because there are also some men who are really good at that. That has their love language.
Speaker 3:They can really praise you, they affirm you, they're all those things.
Speaker 2:We're all good at that. Our husbands are just being humble.
Speaker 1:Our husbands are like that, so we're not generalizing. Yes, yes, To be sure they're also good.
Speaker 3:And what I said earlier. Maybe not all women also wants the words of affirmation. I said earlier some women are leaning towards that.
Speaker 2:Is that possible, Tony? Because we have a specific topic right, I identified the words of affirmation of love languages. Can everyone do that? Yes, I think so.
Speaker 3:More than one of the love languages. Because when you analyze all those five, there's also a common thread that binds everything. The objective is to really express love.
Speaker 2:I mean that's a common element amongst all the five.
Speaker 3:So you affirm, you give acts of service, you make time, you give gifts. What's the other one? What's that? Act of service physical touch Physical touch the objective of all of them is really to social love, care, support, so I guess at some point they can be together.
Speaker 2:And you mentioned earlier, it could change over time, right? When you're younger love is different.
Speaker 3:So, at least for me, it changed. As you mature, you move to something that probably matters most to you, let's say, minus the romantic love in itself. Sometimes love also changes. You start with romantic love, and then maybe there's love between friends and then, as you, mature companionship towards the end. So I guess it also differs or it vagues or it changes.
Speaker 1:Correct. I think we can say that being aware of your love language actually improves your relationship With your family members, with your loved ones, because you are able to understand each other, because I think a lot of people are aware of their love language, but most of the time you choose your love language from other people Because that's what you expect, that's what you want.
Speaker 2:Time, my love language and I choose that, and if you're not giving it to you, you're frustrated, right?
Speaker 3:That's what you want World War III, correct?
Speaker 1:You're giving love language. We're all different, so I think we should also be aware that you should adjust the person's love language. That's what you give love language to. If it's about family, I thought that families are very vocal, like, hey, I'll give you my love language. How would we get it across to other people? This is my love language and I want to know yours.
Speaker 2:And ours may be different from each other.
Speaker 3:So I think the concept is rather simple. It's not rocket science, it's five love languages. So, I guess it's really just letting the other person know this is how I want love to be expressed to me.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 3:And then you can even share the concept about the five languages, the love languages, and then you can say you know, like when you do this to me, I'm happiest the most.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 3:But if you do your whatever way or your love language to me, I'm still accepting of that and I'm still appreciative of that but when you do this to me, I'm happiest the most, Because to me that's what I thought, and I'm also the type of person that's willing to adjust, Like you know you can surprise me with what your love language is for me.
Speaker 3:That's what my perspective is, so I'm very accepting of what you're going to show me, more than you know what I really need for myself. I'm like that's what I'm really like.
Speaker 1:You're really good at tone. Yeah, I'm like that's what I'm really like.
Speaker 2:You're really good at tone. Yeah, I'm good at it, but I'm still not.
Speaker 3:I'm just like I'm just playing here. You're just playing here, right yeah?
Speaker 2:that's what I'm like For me, because you know we never talk about my love language. You should do this to my husband. So since I have awareness, I made sure, or I have extra effort on my end. You know, I know my family too. What about them? So if I'm going to be with my husband, he's receiving physical touch. So if we're going to be a little bit more careful, I'll just push him.
Speaker 1:He's a little bit okay.
Speaker 2:So, even with my kids, I also tell them that, like I want to hear stories or tell stories. This is how I feel that you appreciate me, that you are being open to me. I appreciate them. When I cook, you say thank you, so I make them understand that this is the way that I feel that they appreciate what I'm doing, and they do it because they're thinking about it. They're doing it. They're beginning to understand that they have uniqueness and differences.
Speaker 1:How old are your kids?
Speaker 2:My eldest is turning 15 this year, so I'm going to be 13, and the youngest is 6.
Speaker 1:Your children are teenagers.
Speaker 2:Yes, they understand that they have a crush on them, so they have a concept of understanding love and giving love, receiving love. So it's easier for them to understand the ways of showing the people we love the diva, the things like that. So there are languages. This is my love language because that concept is heavier. But, on simple terms.
Speaker 2:I appreciate it more. I'd appreciate it if you say thank you or you tell me that you love the food that I cook, so at least they understand that they're the ones who are teaching or giving love, because until now my children are still young, even though they're older. Because, my husband wants them to feel that their children are special Just for doing stuff for them. So I'm telling them that this is the way of showing his love for you, so I hope you appreciate what Daddy is doing, so that's how we talk.
Speaker 3:I think in casual conversations we can always communicate how we want to be loved or how we want to be loved. Let's say this is my way of loving you, this is my way of letting you know that you're special to me. So in casual conversations, for example, if someone made time for me, like friends in the realm of friends, after you were hanged out, you were being mimicked that word is very 80s. So after you went out with the text to home Okay.
Speaker 1:So words of affirmation.
Speaker 3:So it's okay, right, and I'll say, for example Hatred, thanks so much for spending time with me. It was good to see you again. I hope we can connect very soon. That's it, it goes to show that you valued their time. And then you, you know so it can be, it can be considered. Even if it's that simple, you let them know that the time that you spent together is important Something like that yeah exactly.
Speaker 1:That's nice. So it helps, René, that if you're vocal and you get to, you know at least not to talk about it like a lecture, but a lecture Casually, Casually, that helps a lot. I think you know it will help your friends then and family members. If you know they have an idea of how to love you and it's kind of like, how do I want to be loved? I hope they can think about it. They can still be on their side.
Speaker 1:So I think that's this is a good you know topic for us To help us deepen our relationships with you know, the people around us. I think it also helps in trying to lessen misunderstandings. I think that's where misunderstanding begins. Sometimes people don't want to be given gifts. They're like, oh, you're going to buy a gift. That's sad, right.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's fine.
Speaker 3:I'll be hurt if I do that. Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:Fuck it, they don't want my gift, but it was really like that. It just came across that way, because they didn't align with their love language. So sometimes it's big. Or if they're like, oh, she didn't know me, she didn't know me, she hugged me, she didn't love me, that's it. But it's not physical touch that you're with your love language right, so you should not be disappointed because you have to look at the other part. She didn't hug me, but she chose our ban every weekend.
Speaker 3:That's great, that's a good thing.
Speaker 1:That's her love language, because she knows that she wants to be loved.
Speaker 3:So I guess it really would help. It's just really to communicate. It's really to talk about things, because these are your needs and they can't be ignored.
Speaker 1:And people cannot also guess.
Speaker 3:Yeah, let's not be mind readers of each other. It's just simple to say this is the way I want to be treated or the way I want to see love. This is my way of sending you love, expressing my love to you.
Speaker 2:Do we align?
Speaker 3:or do we understand?
Speaker 1:each other on that. Exactly Very important communication, because we all have our languages, we all have our ways and it's good that we understand each other and where we're coming from.
Speaker 3:So maybe this Valentine's, if you don't have an agenda for each other, this is the way you can be.
Speaker 2:Yes, correct. So you can know, you better understand each other's love language and you can have a quiz on your date.
Speaker 1:You can put a link on our blog.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I think there's a survey for people like that. So I think I have. We can share that with us, so we can also share it with our listeners.
Speaker 2:They can take it.
Speaker 1:So this is your time to share our podcast. This is where you promote your loved ones, so you can be like I know, baby, you have a podcast. It's so great.
Speaker 3:It's about love language that's right, you're entering Valentine's Day.
Speaker 1:So, to our listeners, share our podcast. You'll see it'll help you. So you know, take the quiz together, maybe.
Speaker 2:We're talking about your relationships, right friends out there, on how they can use or utilize your love language even without a partner.
Speaker 1:Is it in finding, or are you asking how to find a partner?
Speaker 2:Or maybe in their own way or in people they care about, not necessarily a partner.
Speaker 3:I think it's still applicable. Let's say let's start with the self. How do you express love to yourself? Oh, so you tell yourself you're so good, you're a strong woman, you're enough, you're wonderful, you can do that Self-accirmation Exactly.
Speaker 2:I still have a lot of time.
Speaker 1:My love language is also about me time. Every time I go on a birthday, the thing I do is give me me time. I feel like I'm going to be a ghost. I'll be a ghost. I'll be a ghost. I'll be a ghost. I'll be a ghost. I'll be a ghost. You know, Pip, you're amazing.
Speaker 3:You're so good. I'm a good person.
Speaker 1:I'm a good person, that's how I understand my body.
Speaker 2:That's right, that's right, that's right. I'm a good person.
Speaker 3:I need that too. How about the rest? For example, I always give myself a gift.
Speaker 1:Oh I remember it, I remember it.
Speaker 3:They say I deserve that.
Speaker 2:I deserve that. That's for me.
Speaker 3:That's my gift, christmas gift to myself or birthday gift to myself. That's another one.
Speaker 1:What else?
Speaker 3:Physical touch.
Speaker 2:Oh, that's it.
Speaker 1:I'm a good person. I'm a good person. You're self-underb. And exercise body care. You can't let go of yourself. Can you also work with people in the office? I think so too.
Speaker 3:I can help you with the course before, Of course, not more than on the romantic love. Professionally we can also understand the needs of our peers, our leaders, the people that we work with. So let's say, if their needs are in time, then you share your time also.
Speaker 1:You set meetings.
Speaker 3:You set meetings, you conduct one-on-ones, you can get with them, or you can just peer catch up, there's no problem. Then, when you have an acts of service, you help them out, you give them best practices for a specific goal or something what else. Very good when we praise them, when we acknowledge them using empathy statements if they need it or if our training is in time.
Speaker 1:So the key takeaway for this podcast is that love languages is not just limited to romantic relationships. Love languages can be applied to your family members, to your parents, to your kids and to your coworkers, to your friends. It helps even to yourself, you can apply the love language to yourself.
Speaker 1:That's a very good point, tony. We can use it to deepen our relationships. It's something that needs to be communicated to make sure that we understand each other. Hopefully, this Valentine's Day, we use this knowledge to improve our relationships with ourselves, with our family members, with our coworkers, and to be able to have a healthy relationship with everybody. So thanks again everyone for listening to T3, pressuring togetherness today, yes, especially.
Speaker 1:We hope you enjoyed your time with us? If you did, please subscribe to our podcast and leave us a rating and review. If you have any questions or comments, please visit our website at pro163learningcom, and don't forget to check out our blog for more tips and advice. We'll be back next time with more tips and tools from your favorite trainers. Until then, keep the love flowing and happy Valentine's Day, everybody Happy.
Speaker 3:Valentine's Bye, bye, bye.