Marketing & Mayhem
Gypsies, Journaling & Tough Convos with Kids
What starts as a simple conversation about Raebecca’s favorite Netflix show “At Home With The Fury’s” quickly becomes a very deep conversation about our relationships with our children, and how we foster communication and create safe conversations around some of the harder topics we are tackling as parents.
From keeping a journal, where both parents and children write in it, to the pros and cons of having eye contact while you have tough conversations. We talking about the importance of conversations - and that valuing communication and “saving space to talk” is the best, first thing.
The delicate dance of big reactions and over-explaining what’s really in question or even what’s age appropriate - Kirsten discusses how to meet your kids where they are. Add in the concept of “rituals of connection”, those seemingly little monotonous (but not) family dinners, weekly movie nights, and you begin to purposefully save space for connectivity.
We cover really big topics like food and body image and the consciousness at which we enter our own home space every day with our kids, but then we take a second to ponder how different their generation will be because of this awareness and emotional awareness we’re sort of all experiencing in our 30s and 40s.
And we tackle a tik tok book trend - that started a big conversation at school and at home - and how we tackle the more jaw dropping conversations we have to have as parents. Another great episode with our friend Kirsten Hatcher from the “Raising Marriage” podcast !
You can find her on Spotify and on Apple and on all of your favorite places to stream podcasts :
Spotify - https://open.spotify.com/show/4DthJ2Abr1qaROk7jtNLj1?si=rF7ZnDpmQQWVy0w5gIneZw
Apple - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/raising-marriage-podcast/id1495746521
A big shout out to “Girlology” in Charleston for helping us in these conversations and topics -
https://girlology.com/
For more mayhem, be sure to follow us:
Insta @marketingandmayhem
YouTube @MarketingMayhemPod
And don't forget to leave us a 5 star review! Or message us to deep dive into your topic or just give us feedback!
Hosted by @raebecca.miller and @jennyfromthe843
What starts as a simple conversation about Raebecca’s favorite Netflix show “At Home With The Fury’s” quickly becomes a very deep conversation about our relationships with our children, and how we foster communication and create safe conversations around some of the harder topics we are tackling as parents.
From keeping a journal, where both parents and children write in it, to the pros and cons of having eye contact while you have tough conversations. We talking about the importance of conversations - and that valuing communication and “saving space to talk” is the best, first thing.
The delicate dance of big reactions and over-explaining what’s really in question or even what’s age appropriate - Kirsten discusses how to meet your kids where they are. Add in the concept of “rituals of connection”, those seemingly little monotonous (but not) family dinners, weekly movie nights, and you begin to purposefully save space for connectivity.
We cover really big topics like food and body image and the consciousness at which we enter our own home space every day with our kids, but then we take a second to ponder how different their generation will be because of this awareness and emotional awareness we’re sort of all experiencing in our 30s and 40s.
And we tackle a tik tok book trend - that started a big conversation at school and at home - and how we tackle the more jaw dropping conversations we have to have as parents. Another great episode with our friend Kirsten Hatcher from the “Raising Marriage” podcast !
You can find her on Spotify and on Apple and on all of your favorite places to stream podcasts :
Spotify - https://open.spotify.com/show/4DthJ2Abr1qaROk7jtNLj1?si=rF7ZnDpmQQWVy0w5gIneZw
Apple - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/raising-marriage-podcast/id1495746521
A big shout out to “Girlology” in Charleston for helping us in these conversations and topics -
https://girlology.com/
For more mayhem, be sure to follow us:
Insta @marketingandmayhem
YouTube @MarketingMayhemPod
And don't forget to leave us a 5 star review! Or message us to deep dive into your topic or just give us feedback!
Hosted by @raebecca.miller and @jennyfromthe843
from raising marriage. You guys were obsessed with her first time on our podcast, but we have more questions and we have more to quote, unquote, unpack, because I know how much you love when I say that but you didn't say that much in the last episode when.
Speaker 3:I was here.
Speaker 1:I've been saving it now for important things.
Speaker 2:Nate and I were watching something we were watching Summer House the other day.
Speaker 3:And they said unpack and.
Speaker 2:Nate went like this. He was like that's Becca's word. I'm like, yes, it's Becca's. He's like you should trademark unpack, it's officially your word. I should like that's becca's word. I'm like, yes, it's becca's. You like you should trademark unpack it's.
Speaker 1:It's officially your word I should actually hold on wow, what does that take to trademark a word?
Speaker 3:I feel like you guys. I don't know, but you paid on it basically, um, really quick.
Speaker 1:By the way, have either of you ever watched at home with the furies?
Speaker 3:no, but you shared it on your it's the wrestling people, he it's, he's uh is he a boxer?
Speaker 1:I think he's a like world-class, like heavyweight boxer okay massive. He's like six, nine. He's a big boy, for sure you watch?
Speaker 2:them as random things, ever no, no but listen.
Speaker 1:This is why I really kirsten's gonna die over. You should really watch it too. First of of all, I love human behavior. I like funny. They are in Europe, they are travelers, so they're actually like true gypsies, so their perspective is a little bit different. And then also they have six kids three boys, three girls. The house is basically on fire. But also he is a professional athlete and so he has major mental health issues. And she is just this boss sauce. She unpacks it all the time. She talks about it, she gets after him. So that's his wife, yeah.
Speaker 3:Wow.
Speaker 1:He can be pretty manic, so he'll just book a ticket to go look at Mayan ruins or something. And she's like you know, Tyson.
Speaker 3:Because he probably has. If he was a boxer, he probably has traumatic brain injuries, Right.
Speaker 1:Also he's bipolar and he can be depressive and there's something else. So there's this one episode where she gets the chance to be on a TV show. But she has to travel a little bit and then she comes back and in the car she's like gosh, I really hope he hasn't. However, she says it because she's a gypsy, so she says it amazing, but she's like I really hope he hasn't gotten into anything he has. He has.
Speaker 1:He absolutely has all of the kids in this random RV. He's got them camping like out back and she's like you know, tyson, for once it would be really nice if we just didn't do this.
Speaker 3:So she like.
Speaker 1:Well, she's a saint for but she goes through like one of his worst episodes and it's just. But the whole show is very endearing, but also so funny, I mean you've got to give it a shot. It's so funny, I mean you've got to give it a shot.
Speaker 3:What's it on? It's At Home with the Furies. What like Netflix Hulu?
Speaker 1:Oh, I think it's Netflix. I'm pretty sure it's Netflix.
Speaker 3:All right, we're always kind of looking for good humor. Oh really, yes, you can watch it with your kids.
Speaker 1:It's not like when she goes into the dark. She does it in such a way that my kids are never pulled into it like they can't pick up on the show. Okay, all right, we'll have to check it out actually it's a perfect intro to what I wanted to talk to you okay about this, mouth to my baby.
Speaker 1:I got you, I was like me or her. If I, I was. No, it's me, it's me, it's me, it's me, it's me, it's me, it's me. So one of the things you discussed last time that I've been thinking about is journaling, and I really wanted to talk to you. We really wanted to talk to you about parenting and relationships with our kids in this age, and I did see this tip the other day where it was like oh, I have a journal with my daughter and we both write back and forth in it Like we have a place that we leave it and like she can put something in there where she doesn't have to come face to face but she can say something and then I can answer it.
Speaker 1:And then, in the same breath, this other person, which I don't even remember who they are, but they were talking about how, also, with kids, it's a lot easier to get them to unpack or unload if they aren't looking directly in your eyes. So okay, this is so interesting. So taking a walk or doing something where you're together but you're not making that direct eye contact or you give them this other thing, like the journal.
Speaker 1:I mean, this is a really big topic, but having a continued deep connection with my kids as they grow older is so important to me. How do we do that? And I know that's a really big question.
Speaker 3:I may end up answering this as much as a mom, as a therapist because I still have. It's funny I'll sit in sessions with clients and they'll say something that, like their parents did growing up, and I'm like screwing up my kids. I do that. I'm screwing up my kids. You know, like you're in therapy now, I do that with my kids. So some of this might come more from, like, my experiences with, uh, layla, who's 12, and Maxwell, who's nine. Um, she's amazing though Actually that's another connection I have with Layla went to Park West preschool.
Speaker 3:No way, yeah, so she would have been gone, though by the time you guys were there with Clark and pilots. So, yes, I loved. I toured preschools. I like took a day off work and I went to five preschools and I remember calling John, crying, and I'm like these places are like institutions. I can't drop my baby off. It was like a mess. I was working at a group home at the time. I was like I feel like I'm dropping. That's so terrible to say, but I was like I feel like that's where we're going and I walked into Park West Preschool and the birds start singing and I'm like everything's going to be, okay.
Speaker 1:Shout out to.
Speaker 2:Park West Preschool. They're the best.
Speaker 1:Oh, Hillary's the best. Jenny's best friend is Hillary.
Speaker 3:Really oh. I love Hillary and Kiki's leaving I I love Hillary and Kiki's leaving.
Speaker 2:I know she is All my best friends came from Park, wesleyan School.
Speaker 3:Kiki, her first year was when Layla started there. It's like she had just started when Layla went. So, yes, I just got off on a run with that. But having a 12-year-old, I do feel like I'm maybe like a couple years ahead in some of the parenting experiences and Layla and I. I actually started one of those journals with her when she was in second grade.
Speaker 2:I love that.
Speaker 3:So, but the main reason was she had a not so nice girl in her class. I'm very careful in using the bully word, but it was kind of teetering a little bit where she would like do stuff to Layla and then she would go tattle on the teacher that Layla did that to her. It was like very manipulative, very manipulative.
Speaker 2:It starts so early now we have a question.
Speaker 1:Yeah, how are you being careful about the word bully. Can you just tell me what?
Speaker 3:Oh, I sometimes feel like it's overused, Like Maxwell will come home and be like this kid was bullying me. I'm like no, that kid was being a second grader or third grader and it sounds like you had an argument over a thing and sometimes you could be the reactive one. So you know, let's not just be careful, Just let's just not throw that word all around, is what I say. I do think there is bullying and then I think sometimes just some child behavior.
Speaker 1:You're saying like we need to protect it, when it's actually bullying but not just that's yeah, you don't want to minimize it.
Speaker 3:Like sometimes I think that happens with OCD and anxiety Like it's just such a descriptor word now I might've definitely said I was OCD, sorry. Oh, oh, oh, sorry. Well, I wasn't thinking that, but I think it just becomes a descriptor that when it's necessary to actually look into it, it's not as maybe valid or whatever.
Speaker 1:So yeah.
Speaker 3:So she had this girl. That was not being very nice to her and so I would find that she, you know, being in second grade, she wouldn't know. So she would like explode on us about something silly and then, you know, a couple hours later we'd realize what had happened. So I started this journal with her. It's this bright blue journal. It's still in her room. So she's in sixth grade now.
Speaker 3:We don't really use it as much, but if there's something she wants to talk about she's better. Actually, now that I think about it, she'll just come to me and say hey, can we talk for a minute? So maybe the journal helped that. But the way it worked is she would write on the journal and she would put it on my nightstand. Or if she wanted to talk to my husband about it, she could. It could go on anybody's nightstand and that's where it went, and I would know that she put the. I would see the journal and then I would read in it, read it, write in it and give it back to her, and then I would always end it with if you want to talk about this more, let me know if you, and sometimes the journal was enough. Sometimes that just kicked the door open to start the conversation, so which was helpful.
Speaker 1:I'm so cute because my my big fear right now is that, like the, bullying thing the girls are going to start keeping things from me.
Speaker 1:Or like Jenny and I talk about this a lot because we work in social media and in marketing, and marketing is scary. I mean, we don't choose scary marketing, but we have been exposed to it forever. You have been exposed to it forever. Companies are getting better about it now by showing oh, we talked about this in an episode, but about Aerie has, like you know, there's some cellulite or a paraplegic or an actual, real stomach, not something that's been you know. But now we have AI in it. And then we have social media platforms and I'm like, oh my gosh, like I can't just put them in a cave, but like, how do I make sure that I create conversations where they can always come to me? Like, how do I protect that?
Speaker 3:Well, one. The fact that you guys are aware of it is the best first thing, right? Like we're aware, we want to have these conversations, we want to foster these relationships is huge. I also think it's how, how are we responding to them when they do bring things to us? I realized a lot of times Layla would get in the car and dump on me oh my God, this happened and this happened. I'm like, well, what did you do? Well, what did you do and why didn't you do this instead of that? And so I actually had to step back and I would start saying sometimes, like I tell marriage counseling do you want to vent about this or do you actually want my help on how I think you could make it better? Because I've lived some life and I've done some things, and so I really started setting that stage for those conversations as well.
Speaker 3:But I think it is just having the conversations. I joke a lot in marriage counseling that it's just about talking and having the conversations. We don't always know what we need to talk about, but it's. Are we creating the space to talk? And so it's kind of like an elusive answer. But how are you responding to them? How are you responding to them when they bring it to you. Are you panicking? Are you sounding the alarms? I also think, as parents, we always want to over-explain, we want to give so much detail so that they get it all. And I, are you an over-explainer? Yeah, I definitely am. Yeah. And then we confuse their little brains because they weren't even thinking about the five things we explained. And then we've confused them and, trust me, I've done this too and so typically responding to their little questions with one or two sentence answers, stopping, letting there be silence, and then they will ask you more questions based on what you give them, so you allow their little brains of understanding to really guide the conversation of where it goes.
Speaker 1:You don't leave the witness.
Speaker 3:Right, don't leave the witness. That's and that cause. That looks different. With conversations with Layla in third grade versus sixth grade we had some. We had a little bit of exposure to a big, big conversation that I knew was coming working with teenagers. I, I know there. I was like I know what's coming. I know she's going to be exposed to stuff way sooner than any of us were.
Speaker 3:I just I was more concerned about like seventh grade than I was for middle of sixth grade, um, but I think it's just laying the little stepping stones of you know what it looks like In their version of whatever they're in.
Speaker 1:Yeah. Like so interesting too, because I have two girls, and so you know what it looks like In their version of whatever they're in. Yeah, Like so interesting too, because I have two girls. And so you know pilot will ask me something like we do this thing called family dinner. They call it family dinner, but it's just, we eat spaghetti and the garlic bread and I don't know why they can't be. If there's not garlic bread, then it's not family dinner.
Speaker 3:I love it.
Speaker 1:Kids are so cute.
Speaker 3:I love it.
Speaker 1:It really is. It's been going on for years. So we do it quite a bit and we'll like sit at the table. And that's usually when they start to like give little things. And you know, pie will start talking about something at school and then someone will be like do you ever think about how your spoon tastes? And I'm like what I love?
Speaker 3:that she sounds like she's a piece of work.
Speaker 1:She is a hamster and a half. She's also part raccoon, same as me, so she's the second child. She's a true second child. Her perspective is just very different. Well, do you?
Speaker 3:know what you're doing. I want to talk about your spaghetti dinners. That's actually called a ritual of connection. So this is huge. I know in the last podcast I talked about the Gottman method. So we have different rituals of connection that we can create. There's your traditions, right, like what we do for birthdays, what we do for holidays, all those things. But there's also, and you can do it with your partner, you do it with your family. So rituals of connection.
Speaker 3:Like in our house we started pizza movie night on Fridays when Layla was in kindergarten, john was working as a CPA. Days were bleeding into each other. I was exhausted, like I didn't know. So I'm like we're doing pizza movie night every Friday because I'm done. And now to this day, it is still pizza movie night on Fridays. Like if my in-laws come into town, it's pizza movie night. If we're at my parents, the adults will usually have dinner together and we give the kids pizza and a movie. Well, layla is now in sixth grade, so she has ramen and Max has pizza. So that is a ritual of connection. So what you're setting this place that like it's this moment of comfort, this safe space of like hey, this is our family time and anything goes. We can talk about what's happening at school or how your spoon tastes. It's perfect.
Speaker 1:You know we, and so we actually do. Like we light candles, Usually I'll put like old school Italian on, like the Alexa and like it's gets like a little. I mean it's fun, I mean I'm a New Yorker Like we would go to you know your nana's house, or like I didn't have a nana but I had friends that did, and like grandma would be like at the kitchen table smoking and there would be like music playing and she'd be like making the sauce. Like this is an old I'm like I live for this, so I already have it in my heart, obviously that's not what I'm doing.
Speaker 1:But I'm like let's light the little tea lights that look like you're at an Italian restaurant and let's make it. Let's vibe out. We get in our pajamas.
Speaker 3:And then that's when they so you're already setting the stage of like, hey, this is where we all come together and talk. We talk about our day a little differently. Especially, having two girls could be special because they're going to have similar experiences, but their personalities are different, right? So what would you do there and what would you do? And it'll evolve as you guys all grow up together.
Speaker 1:We are growing up together, which I try really hard not to put big things on them. But back to this divorce thing. We're in this really weird experience, so they're starting to ask questions.
Speaker 3:Oh yeah.
Speaker 1:Like it could be random stuff, like it was like you have had a boyfriend in high school but then pilots like get remarried and I'm like yeah, I don't know, but I'm not going to say never, cause every time I say never, god himself makes me walk through that door. So not saying never and with those big questions.
Speaker 3:You just give them the simple kid answer.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 3:Right.
Speaker 1:So I'm just like huh, but there we're getting. You know we have our kids are in the same class. If you guys missed her previous time, on our podcast, so we hear some interesting things about class, as anyone's third grade would Third grade is a really weird. No one's teeth are really falling out anymore, but people are starting to develop friendships influenced by different things and they're starting to separate based on what they like and don't like, and I think that is stronger with girls, for sure, yes, they're learning about boundaries in some ways too or lack of yes, which most of them have.
Speaker 3:Probably lack of yes, yeah.
Speaker 1:And so, navigating that, I find myself saying things to Pilot where I'm like if I had a friend and she treated me like that, I would probably think twice about how I spent time with them. Cause I don't want to say, like I don't like that girl yeah.
Speaker 3:Well, and because it's hard too, because we also know like their little personalities are still developing and forming. So who Sally is in third grade is not going to be Sally at 35. Right? So it's like, okay, what are the? You don't want to just say, well, you shouldn't be friends with them. Right, Because then you don't want to teach them that we just have to write off everybody when we have conflict with them.
Speaker 1:So it is a fun world to navigate, Well, they have their little moods too, where they're like, oh, one day she's nice and one day she's mean, and nice and one day she's mean, and I'm like I have no idea how Pilate's even showing up. I know how she shows up as my child. I'm not a third grade teacher. I don't think everybody's a saint.
Speaker 3:Hearing you say this. It's so interesting to me because I'm now having flashbacks to Layla, where I don't Maxwell. Those aren't really. He'll have his conflicts and he has some of his issues, but he does get pulled out for some things at school so he has extra supports, like in the school. So I don't know that he's always. I don't know if it's just him because he's a boy or if he's just not in the mix of it all as much.
Speaker 1:But I think sometimes he's allowed to bring friends sometimes. Have you ever heard this?
Speaker 3:Yes, does he sometimes bring pilot?
Speaker 1:Yeah, this, yes. Does he sometimes bring pilot? Yeah, sometimes they go to the library instead of going to recess.
Speaker 3:Yes, he books. He prefers to not. He's so funny, he's like so social, yeah, but when there's a lot of chaos and it's funny act nutty at recess.
Speaker 2:She's like, yes, not if I can just leave with clark's like that she hates, she hates used to hate eating in the cafeteria a lot because she was like when they were in loud park preschool, clark and pilot were in the same class and they would always be off in a corner like the kids were acting nutty and those were like, that's not for me actually.
Speaker 2:I'm gonna sit here. I don't know if it's her being an only child or what, but she just, at the end of the day, she just gets in the car and she's just like let's have some silence.
Speaker 1:She needs her alone time All the time Cause summit talks 24, like could you just stop? I could use nothing right now. I could use some silence, Of course Summit just can't. She's a dog. You never thought about nothing. Please stop. Is there a snack I could get you?
Speaker 3:Yeah, can I get you some gum to keep your mouth busy? Yeah, I love that. Yeah, I forgot that. He's taken that. Yeah, he's like I'm just going to go on my own and I'm going to go. I'm like, well, good for you knowing what you need. So Kyla loves it.
Speaker 1:She's like I'm just going to go on my own and I'm going to go. I'm like, well, good for you knowing what you need. So she's like I, just I would rather be at the library. Yeah, you know, of course, right, so we're raising kids. All three of us are in a world where and I don't know if your parents are like this, but my parents grew up a lot differently.
Speaker 1:So you know, even in an example like that, I feel like my parents' first reaction would be like why don't you go out there and play, though it's nice to get outside? And I'm like, wait a minute. And we talk about this a lot in my house, even about like food, because I'm trying really hard to protect my kids from the food stuff that we all grew up around.
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:It gets it, but then you're parenting them in front of your parents, who have no idea what you're really saying.
Speaker 3:What are you talking about?
Speaker 2:Yes, Do you know that I have asked every member of my family to not ever use the word fat? Oh, like I correct them if they're in my home. I'm like I don't want to talk about losing weight.
Speaker 1:I don't want to talk about.
Speaker 2:I don't want to hear the word fat. You can use the other F word, but not that one.
Speaker 3:I would rather the other F word.
Speaker 2:I'm like we just it. Like I get unhinged about it. I'm such a freak about it that, because for that same reason, like Clark will hop on the scale. I'm like what are you doing? No, I don't have one. She's like oh, I just want to see how strong I am because I've been doing that since she was like three oh, what are you doing, mom?
Speaker 2:I'm like just seeing how strong I am, just seeing how strong I am because I'm such a freak about it I think that's the biggest shift is like what's the language that we're putting around things?
Speaker 3:right, Because there is some level of, like, healthy life we want to teach, right, Like we all want to live off? Sour Patch Kids and not Twinkies I don't like Twinkies, but whatever cupcakes Right, yeah, so how are we? How do we teach healthy lifestyle without falling into this like body image trap, which it's? It's really. It is very tough. I think I, I, my parents, I think actually would have been very appropriate parents for today. Like my mom was our Easter baskets when we were younger was like dried pineapple fruit. She made our baby food. I'm like Mom, I don't even do that now and you were doing that in the 80s when that was not easy. So I think I naturally just kind of grew up and we're going to be active and we're not going to be focused on what our body image is. So I, but I understand how it's like. How do we do that with grandparents that are involved, I think?
Speaker 2:my parents think I'm bananas, like they think that my parenting is absolutely off the rails.
Speaker 1:Really.
Speaker 2:My dad will be like, oh, I'm going to pick Clark up from school. I'm like, no, no, no, she needs to come home. We are on schedule. She does best routine Sunday through Thursday. Yes, take her on a Friday, take her on a Thursday afternoon because she doesn't have school on Fridays. I'm like I just run such a tight ship when it comes to bedtime and homework and all of the things I'm like and I know those boundaries and that's good. And maybe I know, but they think I'm a freak.
Speaker 1:I know that I think my parents definitely support my parenting, but it's very different. So I grew up in a house where my dad openly talked actively about like earning food, like he would like work out to like get meals or to have a bigger plate and so like I. One thing that makes me crazy is like this concept of dessert. Like it when you say you can't say fat in your house. We do not say dessert. And if I hear somebody say dessert in front of my kids I lose my cool a little bit.
Speaker 1:I'm like we do not earn our treats, we don't have a treat at the end of every day, Like if you have a treat here or there, but like why don't we call it what it is? So would you like ice cream?
Speaker 3:Love that.
Speaker 1:Or like my parents in the past when it was newer, would be like well, everyone needs to finish their plate. And then I'm like, nope, my kids do not have to finish their food to eat ice cream, and my kids will be the first ones also now to have two bites and be like I actually don't want it. And then the next older generation reaction is like we're not going to waste it, like we actually are going to waste it. We don't have to be glutton.
Speaker 3:We don't need to be gluttonous and scarf it all down.
Speaker 1:So those are my like big trigger things, things that are a little out there for most people, and I'm just like we're going to call the food what it is.
Speaker 1:We're not going to earn it. I don't want my kids obsessing about anything. So if that means that somebody mentioned a milkshake, I'll make sure in that week we get it so that when we have it we're not chugging it all the way down to the bottom. We can be done at a third and I feel I'm more happy to throw away a full plate than I am like an empty one If I know that it costs my kid anything mentally.
Speaker 3:I will. I come from Maxwell can be a very picky eater, so there are times where he'll be like I'm not going to eat and I'm like, okay, but you don't be asking me for a cookie because you're too full now. So I'll do it with that language it's not eat your dinner, get a cookie. It's just very clear of if you're too full to eat the chicken or whatever's on your plate, then a cookie you are not getting.
Speaker 1:So I do parent the same way, and when they're like I'm not hungry for anything, but I am hungry for this, I'm like you're not hungry for ice cream we love ice cream because ice cream is delicious, but if you're hungry, let's start with a protein. Because I'm trying to also teach them. I always think like we shared in the last one. I try to think about the end, the finish line, and then I try to work backwards.
Speaker 3:So I'm like, how do I?
Speaker 1:make them understand that protein feels better in the longterm, or that they're about to go do two and a half hours of gymnastics, so quick carb is actually going to be really important in this moment. How do I teach them that strategy without shoving it in a food pyramid sort of mentality? So we do the same thing. I definitely don't just let them lay on the couch. I did let some during. Covid, she ate a lot of frosting.
Speaker 3:I mean, let's just do it Whatever. Sometimes I'm like you got to eat something, man, I'm going to go get you some donuts, it's like whatever, but I will say there's some. I am a little curious to see and this is just a mom speaking, not a therapist, I'm curious to see just a mom speaking, not a therapist. I'm curious to see, like, are we as as parents, right now, parenting, so sensitive to it that we're like overshooting, like what are our kids? You know, my, my goal is that my kids are going to be better parents, better partners than I, my husband and I are, and I'm sure my parents had that, you know, goal for me and you know, and maybe not the generations before, they were just trying to survive the great depression or whatever. But so I'll be curious to see what is. They'll know more, probably about nutritional value, but are we too worried about it? I don't know. That's just sometimes what I wonder.
Speaker 1:I feel like if you were in my house, you would never even think twice about it because it's so normalized. It's just like when I started doing it it wasn't normalized and I had to actively think about it. But now it's more like when I hear somebody say the F word fat or I hear let's finish our plate. My head is on a swivel and I'm like what is your problem?
Speaker 3:I hear let's finish our plate. My head is on a swivel and I'm like what is your problem? And it may be that I just don't hear that stuff as much because my parents do, kind of just let me do with my kids and my in-laws aren't always around as much, so there's, they're not parenting, they're not the grandparents that are coming to parent my kids around mealtime, and we've set some boundaries around that too, like when you're here, you're here to hang with your grandchildren. So it could also be that I don't hear the F word and I don't hear the finish your plate or what that all looks like. So that that could also be part of it for me.
Speaker 1:Well, I think my parents are definitely growing in a big way. I think they're actively more like. My parents do a good job about thinking about things that are important to us as their kids. So when I started talking about it they were, you know, like more curious than anything because it wasn't something they'd heard before.
Speaker 3:Well, there's also so much information out there now. Right Like we do with what we have at our disposal, so were our parents doing us a disservice? No, but it's just how things were. Everything was fat free in the eighties and all you know it was kind of the marketing.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it was the marketing side of things, and so honestly say, my dad really did instill a love of like trusting your body and being strong and working out and like it's okay to be sweaty.
Speaker 1:You know, like there's a lot of like cause. He also was like a very physical person in that like he could build things. He would build our deck Like there was. I could understand how that really benefited us and I've always put a lot of time into like exercise. I used to be more for aesthetic. Now it's because I feel like in your forties you start to realize that if you don't put the time in now, we're not talking about what size your bikini is.
Speaker 1:We're talking about bone density and like mental health issues whatever comes along with that so there's a greater respect for it, and I think, but I think that his goal at the time was still very pure, like he wanted us to know that you needed to take good care of yourself.
Speaker 3:Yes, and I do do that, and the messaging is just different everywhere of what it all is. Well, let me ask you guys this, because I do have the 12-year-old who I know is going to start asking me for social media. We gave her a phone sooner than we thought we would. We gave her one going into sixth grade, but that's been nice. She lets us know when the bus isn't coming. All that stuff that's been helpful. And she's very responsible with her phone. She puts it on the charger every night. It's not in her room, it's not on her at all times. I know she's going to start wanting social media like Instagram and Snapchat, which I am like. No, but I struggle with Snapchat because I hear from clients that's how middle school, early high school age kids communicate. They don't text on like they don't do messaging through the phone. So when should I give Layla social media? Girls?
Speaker 3:You know, we were going to ask you this.
Speaker 1:This is like one of our things we were going to talk to you about. Yeah, because Snapchat does really scare me.
Speaker 2:Scares me.
Speaker 1:And I know of a local situation where actually somebody's Snapchat came back to potentially have them lose their football scholarship for college. Because of a screenshot that somebody else took and they're kissing kids so high level without saying cause. I mean, I don't know and we're going to, we're going to unpack this together. Yeah, I do think I wish and I would be happy to do it. So if you're local and you want us to come and talk about it as a gritty gal team, we can.
Speaker 1:I really wish that we were putting more into these teenagers about what the repercussions are and how to be safe, whether it's like an old school assembly or something like that, I don't think anyone on that football team. I think they talked about practice and they talked about drills and they talked about warmups, but nobody said you should never put your uniform on and do this anywhere that there's going to be a photograph taken.
Speaker 3:Right, yeah, because that kid may not have taken the picture.
Speaker 1:Somebody else could have taken the picture and then a little like war cry about the next game and they were getting each other pumped.
Speaker 3:But the way that he said.
Speaker 1:What he said got misconstrued by somebody on purpose.
Speaker 2:Oh gosh.
Speaker 1:And it potentially cost him a very nice football scholarship, and that's just devastating to me holding them Okay. So, as a parent, one thing I hate is when we hold kids to an accountability that we don't hold ourselves to as adults, and I think that's unfair. Amen, take a kid and take away his opportunity. Because we didn't say very clearly multiple times you were engaging in dangerous behavior.
Speaker 1:This is what it looks like to be on social media unprotected. We talk about unprotected sex, but we don't talk about what it looks like to navigate these waters. And then we just expect them to live in an adult world, and we haven't been clear.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I always hate the argument of well, we have to teach them how to properly an adult world and we haven't been clear. Yeah, I always hate the argument of well, we have to teach them how to properly use a phone. I'm like I don't even. I have fallen asleep scrolling on Instagram the past three nights, like I'm not properly using my phone. How am I supposed to teach my 12 year old how to properly use the phone?
Speaker 1:You can hide on your phone.
Speaker 3:It's wild. It is wild and I will say they do. Layla was at. She was at a charter school. She's now at the neighborhood middle school, but she was at a charter school and so I know that they did some like cyber safety stuff and I feel like they do, they probably will, and like the guidance classes talk about it. So she'll know.
Speaker 3:Like I go through her phone and I was really proud of her one day. I could tell that somebody was trying to bait her Like what do you think of so-and-so? And she was like she's great, I love her. Or she was like well, I'm mad at her, she hasn't been, she's so, she's still so mad at me. And Layla's response was give her time. I was like I'm so proud of you for not like falling into the trap. And she's like oh, mom, I know they, they taught us. So she took in the information, but I'm also not a fool to know that she's still going to be 13, 14, 15. And they can sometimes have all that information and still be a 16 year old, and so like that's the the fine line. Nobody has a phone in their room like we did to get all tangled up in the court anymore. Right, that is the the mo.
Speaker 3:That is how they connect, so it's so hard to maneuver. So that's one of the reasons we were like, okay, we're going to give her a phone, but you're not. You're probably going to be the last of your friends to get social media.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 3:But then I'm probably going to struggle with that.
Speaker 2:I personally hate it, even though I work in the marketing space. Like I hate it. I truly, truly hate it Just because I do. I think it's such a time suck when I could be doing other things that are better for myself personally mental health, my family and I just you know, I think, putting that responsibility on a kid they don't have that buffer of. Oh, I need to stop what I'm doing because it's mindless. And I mean again, this is easy for me to say because she's nine, but I mean.
Speaker 2:I see it now with the iPad already. So I mean about three weeks ago she started getting super sassy, super, super sassy and I was like no more iPad at all during the week. So, now we don't do that at all during the school week, cause it's just like you know. I need you present.
Speaker 3:We're on week three of earning it back right now. Yeah, it's like you got this week to earn it back, yep.
Speaker 2:And that's just the iPad. I can't even imagine throwing friends and conversations and conflict into it. Just, I'm going to hold out as long as I can.
Speaker 1:One thing I will say oh sorry, no, you go ahead. Well, I was going to. I can actually do a reel about this or a post. It's not about the conversations they're having with friends, cause I think those are significantly more dangerous, but there are. There is a way deep in your settings to actually turn off their exposure to certain things.
Speaker 1:You can actually do it by keyword and you can enter as many as you want. So go in and add things like if it's sex, if it's diet, if it's fat, like you can go term by term and you can actually limit what the algorithm will show on that Instagram. Like you can basically cause I turned mine off. I kind of. I think I did the post maybe two years ago on mine and I specifically showed people how to turn off diet culture in your Instagram Cause I was getting intimidated with this like summer body. I think that's how I started it with the summer body idea. Yeah, um, but, and I'll post hot girl summer.
Speaker 1:Yeah, right.
Speaker 3:We're in Charleston. It's always a hot girl summer. We're hot, it's hot.
Speaker 1:I saw a post the other day that was like why are we saying summer body? Like when did this become a battlefield from April to August? Like please stop Right.
Speaker 3:Right, yeah, let's just go swim.
Speaker 1:You can limit some of that from the backend and I'll I'll talk about how to do that. I'm happy to. I haven't thought that existed until just now.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I like that, one of the things that I do, and we didn't tell Layla to do this. But it's just, this happened, like I said, she turns it in at the end of the night and she kind of knows. And I'll have clients that are like, well, they make me turn in my phone at 9.30. And I'm like good, what are you doing past 930? Yeah, you don't need to be on.
Speaker 3:So I do think, as parents, what are the boundaries we're able to set around those phones? And kind of mentally preparing yourselves a little bit, you know, like I'll want to take her phone away because of something probably very small, but it's like that is her her thing. Well, I say small because she doesn't. Usually she's a pretty good kid, and so I. But that's her thing, that's her currency. But then I don't want to take her phone because her phones. If the bus isn't right or I need to go pick her up early, how do I? And so I'll say you can take your phone, but do not turn it on on the bus, on the way home, on the way there, and I can tell if you've been on your phone, so like.
Speaker 3:But then there was a time where, like phone's not going to school with you for the next two days and you just leave it here and it's not a big deal.
Speaker 3:And then I went to go text her that I was coming to pick her up and I was like are you ready for some of the inconvenience of giving it and then having to take it away? But I do think turning it in at the end of the at a specific time is very appropriate. And we still tell her like we'll get in the car and she gets on her phone and I'm like did you ask to use that? So there's still some permission granting that needs to be on it because she is only 12. She's young and so. But I knew the friend that sixth grade was when I started talking to friends on phones and we don't have a house phone like that. So I was like there is, I gave it. She got it a lot sooner than we thought she would, but because I saw the social aspect she went to summer camp and she gets numbers and then they're all talking and so that was why we gave it sooner.
Speaker 1:We. So I will say this pilot has a phone, so, but we're in a different circumstance. You are very different circumstance. I'm not surprised to hear that conversation. So she has a phone, so there's no internet but you don't have to have like she can't, as in she can't surf, there's no internet on it, it's a kid's phone.
Speaker 1:It's a Samsung, so it's a phone phone. Oh yeah, and it's like off of. I got it off Amazon and you pay monthly. But she doesn't have to have internet to use it. She can call me at any time.
Speaker 3:Oh, that's awesome.
Speaker 1:And it has music and it has calling and texting, that's great we did it because obviously we're in this divorce and I got it for them for Christmas and she'll use it to talk to me whenever. It's like a kid's jitterbug.
Speaker 3:You remember the jitterbug? Yeah, yeah, for like old people when phones came out, yeah, it was like a kid's jitterbug.
Speaker 1:It literally looks just like an iPhone. It's a Samsung. It took me a little bit to use an iPhone, but it's a gab phone and so far, so good. I had a friend who got it first and somehow somebody got her daughter's number and randomly was like what's your favorite color, when's your birthday? And she caught it really fast. I know, but she caught it really fast and at a fairly young age they got to have a pretty important conversation because there's no internet involved yet and there's no social media and she was like listen, it's like the new stranger danger. And so it's opened up some of these conversations that I'm not mad about having because I'm like you live in a different world than I lived in. So she immediately was like because we can see on our phones what's going on in the gap phone?
Speaker 1:So she immediately is like hold on, unless you know who that person is, unless you know unless they're a conversation to have. Like we don't share our personal information, we don't send pictures, and her daughter, of course, was like I didn't send a picture, but we know, what is potentially coming.
Speaker 3:So I'm like okay.
Speaker 1:Well, after her and I had this heart to heart conversation about this phone, I felt a lot better about it because I liked the idea of okay if we don't have to rush into every conversation at once and we can sort of cascade like we don't share our favorite color with somebody we don't know.
Speaker 3:It seems innocent, but I love that you're saying that it's the stepping stone, right? So when Layla learned what she did this year, it was of a sexual content. But I have been slowly having conversation. I didn't just sit down and say let's talk about sex and let me completely freak you out. I talked to her about.
Speaker 3:You know, she's my daughter, so she sees me with tampons and she's like well, what are those? Well, I get a period and this is what it is. This is your eggs getting ready to have a baby. And every month, if you don't get pregnant, you know I get a period and this is what it is. This is your eggs getting ready to have a baby. And every month, if you don't get pregnant, you know I. So I walk her through what a cycle is, and then I walk her through like, okay, an egg and a sperm make a baby. She never asked where the sperm came from. If she did, I would have to share that then, Right. But then as she got a little older'm like, okay, now I need to tell you where the sperm comes from, and then we had the set. So she kind of had the mechanics behind. Yeah, some of these things.
Speaker 3:So when I talked about sex it was still oh my god, that's oh. I don't want to say what she said on a podcast because I don't want to embarrass her, but maybe at the next school functional. It was hysterical. It's like all my girlfriends that I share it with are like oh yeah, that's probably very appropriate, but she was just like mortified by all of it, which, as you are, when you hear that the first time. But having those stepping stones that I started with her probably second grade, let's talk about a cycle. The egg makes the baby. She didn't ask any more questions. If she did, I would have clarified, but I, the egg makes the baby. She didn't ask any more questions. If she did, I would have clarified, but I just kept with what I gave her and we moved on.
Speaker 3:So, and like you're saying, so you start these. We only talk to people that we know on a phone and we only do this and and it, and especially cause it can be hard these kids get each other's numbers and then they text and it's like hey, is this Layla? Layla's like, hey, is this Layla? Layla's like, yeah, who is this? And they'll be playful, Like, oh, I'm not telling you. And I'm like is this really just a kid from class being playful? Don't tell them your name until they tell you you know. Or how are you exchanging numbers so that it makes sense? And so to have the bigger conversations, we have to be planting the smaller seeds along the way, right Like if we're trying to change the course with a 15, 16 year old, the course the map's already kind of made. And so what are we planting when they're younger? And it sounds like you're both already doing some of that.
Speaker 1:I think we're just trying really hard, like you, to think about it. So I'm like when this friend said that about the because at first I was just. I went back and forth and I was really torn about what to do, but I wanted to be able to communicate very freely and I didn't think full disclosure. I didn't think it was going to be the healthiest thing for my ex-husband and I to constantly be like we want to talk to our kids, but that doesn't mean we want to talk to each other every five.
Speaker 3:It's not because, then, if he's busy, because you're not by your phone all the time and you're like I'm just trying to talk to my daughter's work, not saying you would do that, but I hear that, yeah, you feel like they have a control over your access to your children, which is not true of what's happening. But when you want to talk to your kids, you want to talk to your kids.
Speaker 1:Well, and sometimes I feel like to us always talking puts us back in this husband wife dynamic, which we already decided wasn't the best place for us to be, and so I don't always want it to be going through this channel of like, like you said, control or even having us unpack, whether it's something that happened at school every five seconds or like I want to be careful about that too. So we got the phones, but if she hadn't said oh, this thing that was kind of scary, happened, but this is how I handled it and I love her parenting advice, so I.
Speaker 1:it was a great conversation anyways, but I was like you know what I actually liked that better. I would rather we slowly move into that. But to your point, even about sex, I think that I need to apply that even more globally. In general, Like I don't, sometimes I shy away from that stuff and then sometimes I think back and I'm like I shouldn't have done that.
Speaker 3:Or have the conversation, but you're still young enough. You can get to the candidates.
Speaker 2:Well, I do want to do a shout out real quick. So I am not one out real quick, so I am not one. I was extremely nervous to have that conversation with Clark and so there's a class locally here in Mount Pleasant called Girlology, put on by Coastal Pediatrics. They did a phenomenal job. They have one for little girls talking about periods and all the things there. They also have a, a reproductive one, which I may do later because they talk about the science of it but then also address, like the names that kids will hear about, bras and balls, testicles, like it.
Speaker 2:Just it was really good because it just really started a conversation with her that I was extremely nervous to have, and so now she asked me all these, my daughter is such a thinker like me? She has all these questions but it opened up the door to where we could have those conversations and it's a lot more comfortable for me because she knows the mechanics behind it.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I had a client tell me about Girlology Layla was. I asked her, would you? But she's like I'm not doing that. It was like she was like fifth grade but I've heard good, I've heard really.
Speaker 3:But, like you said, it's like we think we have to go in and all of a sudden talk to them about sex. There's so much mechanics that go behind it. And then that also like some of the stuff, with Layla being so mortified by the idea I said. It's not always just about making a baby. Sometimes it's about it's someone you love and it's the intimacy that comes with that. So I like planted that seed because I'm sure in a couple of years that's going to be a very necessary conversation. So but it is, it's just, I know it's so fun, but keep it simple Like that.
Speaker 3:I know it's so fun, it makes me sweat, but keep it simple. I do think when I talked to Layla about the thing a couple weeks ago that we had to talk about, I just kept it simple. Yeah, it can just be factual. It is what it is and this is something that happens.
Speaker 2:You know we got to get gritty here.
Speaker 3:I'll do it.
Speaker 2:Do you get into the other stuff?
Speaker 3:Like oral sex.
Speaker 2:Well, yeah, because I'm like surely there's From a Southerner.
Speaker 1:I was like how is Jenny going to say this? Because I already know where she's going, but she's like Palatio Is that a know where she's going?
Speaker 3:but she's like Felicio. Is that it for?
Speaker 1:others.
Speaker 2:Well, I mean, you hear all these names at school and I guess I would rather the dialogue be coming from me than somebody else.
Speaker 3:So it's like Well, let me I'm just going to put a little for other parents listening. So that was something. That's what we were exposed to. Somebody brought a book to school that had circulated around TikTok. It's called Icebreakers. If you look at the cover, it looks very like all the kids' books. It's about a relationship between a hockey player and a figure skater, and I got a call from this book.
Speaker 1:I read Icebreaker.
Speaker 3:Wait, so you know what book. You know what book it is.
Speaker 1:I literally read it, this summer, of course you would Cause.
Speaker 3:it's the smut.
Speaker 1:It was a really hot book. I'm not going to lie.
Speaker 3:Yeah, not for sixth graders.
Speaker 1:I don't know what a sixth grader is doing with it, so it has started circulating for middle school. Yes, cover looks like cart, they're hand-drawn and he is handsome and she's pretty and they're on the ice, so I could see how this would happen. It's a cartoon cover, and so I will say I was very proud of the school.
Speaker 3:I got a phone call from the school. They were like she's not in trouble, but this book has been circulating around TikTok so some kids are aware of it. Their parents are buying it because it looks very unassuming and I think the rating is actually 14. It might or maybe that one's not 14. No, and so Layla, somebody in her class brought the book up, opened it right to the page, and so we did that. But I was kind of prepared that that was going to be a topic she brought to me Maybe that's probably not good. And so we did. We talked about it. I will say her. She did say Mom, how did anybody even discover that that's something we should be doing? And so but we just I said Yep, we didn't get into depth about it, it was just very it. It breaks your heart a little bit as a parent because you're like that's the innocence of it. But so, yeah, that book is going around for middle schoolers. So I can.
Speaker 2:I'll post a picture of this book, just to be on the lookout for it.
Speaker 3:Yeah, and cause the school like the count the teacher knew to confiscate it, like that's how the probably, probably in Rebecca's book club.
Speaker 2:I'm going to say should we add it to our book club rotation?
Speaker 1:I hate that it's in school, but it was actually a really hot book.
Speaker 2:Okay, I'm adding it to my cart.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and so some of the books you can get different covers now maybe see if there's like one that isn't so cartoony and definitely just put it up, yeah, okay.
Speaker 3:Right I. But to kind of go back to what you were asking, jenny, about, like, is this what we have to talk about? I'm kind of of the school of thought, like there are some things you are just meant to learn from your girlfriends and you're like you're meant to learn just in growing up. As parents, we can be aware and we can be in tune, as we should be, that these are conversations they're probably having with friends, or we know what the conversations are. We all have them ourselves.
Speaker 3:So I do think there's a level of where some things are just natural to learn in childhood and adolescence and teenage life, of growing up. But if we have set the stage, as a parent, that I'm not going to freak out when you come to talk to me about some freaky kink that you heard somebody was into, you know what is that, but you want to know the doors open. I'm not going to freak out, I'm not going to say you can't hang out with that person anymore. So I think it is all about just the stage that we're setting for so many conversations.
Speaker 1:So many conversations? Yeah, yeah, back to the very beginning. I think, yeah, that's so important. I push myself every day to keep the conversation as open as possible, and there are days I'm reactive and I just want to kick myself. Well, you're human.
Speaker 3:There's days our kids are reactive too, so we're showing them that that's good and we go back and it's like, okay, I probably shouldn't have given you that advice. What do you think you should do? It's actually adorable. I will watch Layla give Maxwell advice. Actually, she gave him advice one day and then in the morning before he went to school he told us what that advice was. I had worked late that night and John was like, oh, I didn't even think to check in on the advice she was giving him to make sure it was helpful. We're like that's good advice, but let's hold off on that for a minute. So it's nice to see you might start seeing that with Pilot, pilot and summit, like just the. If you're creating the stage for conversations, they'll happen. And some kids don't want to talk about a lot of stuff and some kids do. But if the stage is set, yeah, no, I think this is.
Speaker 1:This was a really good conversation.
Speaker 3:Good. Well, I loved it too, cause hearing, hearing your tips too, I'm like, oh good. So the therapist is just as confused as the marketing people as to what we should do with social media for our kids.
Speaker 1:I know that there are things we can turn on and turn off, and then I I do think it's really scary, but I also think this and I said this the other day, I think I was saying it to you I was like I don't know if it was easier back in the day either, when we didn't have social, because I do think that we weren't as aware and I think I think I used the example of even like family members that weren't trustworthy, and that wasn't my experience. But I do know other women who went to grandparents' house or went to aunts and uncles' houses and were exposed to a cousin or an uncle or a friend who was very. We just saw this thing about the sleepover and the dad that drugged all the girls. Oh, my God, yes.
Speaker 1:I think the reason that she's safe is because she had a phone and I did sleepovers all the time as a kid. But I don't let my kids do them now and I just think I don't. I sort of refuse to believe that life is more dangerous or less dangerous. I just think that the dangers are very different.
Speaker 3:And we're more like you said, we're more aware. I love. When I talk to my mom she'll say parenting's no different. You had the friends that were like this and the friends that were like this and the super you know. Whatever she says, it's no different. You all just have way too much information at your hands.
Speaker 3:She said I think it's great and I think it can be paralyzing at the same time, and so she's like times are different because of social media, but humans are still humans. People are still people. You know. Patterns of behavior are still similar. There's just a different level of knowledge and exposure. For sure, but, like you said, it could be a huge safety line as well.
Speaker 1:So yeah, I mean I there's. There's a part of me that's like the very positive part of me that's not like Pollyanna positive. But I'm like, wait a minute, I love perspective and so I'm like I just really refuse to see the evil in everything or only the good in anything. I just I don't know.
Speaker 3:It opens so many doors. There is a world outside of Mount Pleasant. Right, we're not all just, and so I think it. It can be great we just. At the end of the day, I think parents have to be monitoring phones more than they are, and it can feel like an evasion of privacy, but I'm sorry. If it keeps you safe or keeps you from losing a scholarship or keeps you from whatever, then I'm going to guide you through that Cause. As a parent, that is my job. I have to guide you and keep you safe and teach you, because your brain is not fully developed until 25.
Speaker 1:I was like 25 or 27.
Speaker 3:That's what everybody says. Yeah, it's a long time I got married, great. Well, I know we're going to wrap up, so can I ask you guys a question about your business? So I know and I don't know, maybe some of the listeners are like Kirsten, are you not listening? They say what? What is it specifically that you guys are doing with Gritty Girl Marketing? Because I know, as we're bringing back Raising Marriage, I'm trying to I like fumble playing on Instagram and then I'm trying to figure out the branding, whatever that means. I know you had that one episode on it. It's like who do you guys help and what do can I use? How can I use you guys? How can I be a client?
Speaker 1:Jenny.
Speaker 2:Well, we, we help small businesses. I call it middle-aged marketing. Okay, that's what I call it. It's middle-aged marketing for people who are business owners and entrepreneurs who want to do marketing but just don't get it. They don't get it, they don't want to learn it. So we help them, give, we give the tools to do that, be more comfortable with it, and then we do just a lot of different things. You know, we help people with business development, helping them refine their message, who they're speaking, to find their audience and really dig into their storytelling, because everybody, every business owner specifically, has such a unique story. We just help refine that message to reach who they want to reach has such a unique story.
Speaker 1:We just help refine that message to reach who they want to reach Yep. We have them. We figure out their platforms, we figure out what's important to them. We're doing some brand guides.
Speaker 1:We're doing some different.
Speaker 1:We're doing our.
Speaker 1:When we look back at this year, I think we're going to be really surprised, because we have our hand in a couple of different pods and they're all very different, and I don't know if that's a testament to our love of human nature and always needing to be like, fueled by something different, but it could be anything from a realtor to something really big or something as small as somebody who is at the very beginning, and because we're business owners and because we're so invested in Mount Pleasant, we don't want them to lose the dream.
Speaker 1:And we also have people who work with us that eventually want to be able to do it on their own, so we give them more information and we give them more foundation than we would somebody who's like I absolutely do not have time to do this in my business. I'm not even going to answer my Instagram questions so we go as far as serving them back up to that client when they actually need the client to answer them. But in the meantime, then we take care of the backend, but we have clients who do 50% of the work and then we have places where we do 100% and then we have people that we just help learn how to jump and get their voice and their colors and their focus and their pillars.
Speaker 3:So it's what I remember that one episode you guys had a while back where you were talking about branding, so where some people are like we're just going to give you a brand and buy, and then you're like, okay, so you kind of walk through like how to do the messaging on Instagram if that's where you like I call that in therapy like okay, we have figured out the problem, or we figured out your brand, now what are you doing with it? Now, what do we do? And so you then also help with the. Okay, you have your brand, now what do you do with it?
Speaker 2:And that's really what we did when we started the business. It was more of looking around at other marketing companies and what they weren't doing. They all seem, you know, they're all. You know I'm not dogging on people in their twenties, but they're not. You know, they're either super young and are just grew up in a different time, or you know they just they just don't. They just don't know. You know what I mean. They just don't know what they don't know. And so it's just really about that's why it's called gritty is getting down to the nitty gritty of what your business needs and wants to reach your customer, which in turn obviously helps grow your business. So it's that simple. We simplify the.
Speaker 1:It's more than just a pathetic. I think the younger people are more obsessed with the way things look or appear and ultimately, that's not how you grow as a person by worrying about other people and that's not how you grow a business, and that's definitely not how you grow as a person by worrying about other people, and that's not how you grow a business and that's definitely not how you market.
Speaker 1:So that is definitely what makes us different. We are. We're not going to just hand you something pretty that you didn't even that, you weren't even really part of.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I love that.
Speaker 1:Because it's pretty, and you paid somebody so many thousands of dollars for this brand guide. That doesn't even necessarily like speak to your heart, yeah, and then what do you do with it? Yeah, If you don't know what to do with it, then it wasn't created from you or for you. Yeah.
Speaker 3:Well, thank you. I had a feeling that's what it was, but I was like I'm just going to directly ask them and you can check out our new website very soon. Yay, well, I did see. I peeked on it before I came on. I was like we're working on it.
Speaker 2:It does look very pretty.
Speaker 3:We took a break from our podcast three years ago and my goal was to return on Valentine's day, cause I just thought that would be cute. And it's now what? April, whatever, yeah, so we're coming, it's coming, the website's coming, it's all coming, but in the meantime, we're raising kids that are fine with talking.
Speaker 1:You can catch her on Spotify, right? Spotify?
Speaker 3:podcast Apple podcast the Raising.
Speaker 1:Marriage podcast with Kirsten Hatcher. You are amazing.
Speaker 3:Thank you. You guys are too, thank you, thank you so much.
Speaker 1:I really appreciate you.
Speaker 3:Appreciate you guys too.
Speaker 2:Bye everybody. See you next week. Bye.