Perfectionism, Perms & Room Service

Have you ever had the moment as a mom where you feel like you’re trying so hard, but nothing is coming together? Well that just happened to us, and it’s the reason that we don’t have our kids on an episode for you guys this week. Join us as we go into the heartbreaking detail of the Mother’s Day episode that isn’t - and ultimately is another fail, but also a testament to our ability to overcome and also accept . Isn’t that just a giant part of motherhood and the journey we’re together?

This week we take you on a journey from growing up, watching America’s Funniest Home Videos, and a theory we’re developing about why that turned us into adults who love reels. We tackle room service, The Apple Watch “scheme”, and one of our favorite movies “The Breakup” with Jennifer Aniston and Vince Vaughn.

And even though you invite us into your homes and your cars, every Thursday for a listen, find out why you don’t want us in your kitchen, baking. We share some of our kids favorite memories - from dropkicking rotisserie chicken to torching Easy Mac (3 times, all on accident). And remind ourselves that it’s the little things that they remember - the imperfect - and maybe just maybe those are actually the big things . They are literally watching us every day as we face adversity, and we walk through failure and we show love.

A giant happy Mother’s Day to all of the moms out there because of all the hats to wear and all the jobs we have, this one is the hardest and the most rewarding, and you probably don’t hear it enough! You’re doing amazing, you’re beautiful and we see you. We love you!

For more mayhem, be sure to follow us:

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And don't forget to leave us a 5 star review! Or message us to deep dive into your topic or just give us feedback!

Hosted by @raebecca.miller and @jennyfromthe843

Transcript

Speaker 2: 0:10

We're back. Well, let's talk about this really quick. It is Tuesday on the 7th of May.

Speaker 1: 0:22

Yep and we're recording for the Drop Thursday which is less than 48 hours from now to be clear, unprecedented.

Speaker 2: 0:33

This is not how we do things.

Speaker 1: 0:36

This is the first time this has happened. In the entire time we've been doing this, yep, yep.

Speaker 2: 0:41

True story. True story. We had a podcast for you guys. We had it. We recorded it last week. We were so excited to share it and such is life we shared failure. A few episodes ago Happened again.

Speaker 1: 0:59

Computer had horrible audio and I'm not convinced it's actually your fault. I'm not.

Speaker 2: 1:06

I sound like.

Speaker 1: 1:07

I was on the toilet like 100%. Oh my god, like it sounded. Like I was in the bathroom with the door shut like on the john, and I was like we cannot hear this, we can't, and so but we were so excited because we actually had our kids on.

Speaker 2: 1:22

No, it was so, it was so cute. So we're having like the mom guilt, like the heartbreak of it, because and obviously we're going to rerecord it but we had this whole idea for, like Mother's Day and the kids are so curious about the podcast so we're like we'll get them involved and we asked them questions like the stuff that you would see on Mother's Day, like cards and stuff.

Speaker 1: 1:46

And it was so funny it was, it was so cute y'all I'm just I'm heartbroken that it didn't work out. Really it was.

Speaker 2: 1:49

They were so excited and should we share some of the stuff they said, because next time it's going to be completely different.

Speaker 1: 1:55

Like I, feel like you should give like your topic.

Speaker 2: 1:57

Yeah, okay so what's your favorite thing that clark said about you, or three?

Speaker 1: 2:01

things okay. Yeah, let me go back to the questions we asked them. Um. So one of the questions we asked him was what is your favorite thing to do with your mom?

Speaker 2: 2:10

and clark's answer was snuggle it was so sweet, she was so proud to say it too.

Speaker 1: 2:15

She really meant it, she did and I am one hell of a snuggler. I'm gonna be honest with you.

Speaker 2: 2:21

I'm pretty good I know her little face. When I said you slept over in my bed and you snuggled, I was like wait, maybe I shouldn't have said that.

Speaker 1: 2:31

What was your favorite thing? Your girls were all one that day.

Speaker 2: 2:36

You know what I think it is. They like got it. You give a gymnast a stage and she's like boom. So one of the questions was like what's your mom really bad at? And summit was like I got, I got it. I got it like she wanted to answer because obviously the two of them, and she said, is singing and driving. And I'll have, you know, the driving thing, I'm a very self-aware driver, but the singing thing, I sing a lot and I was I don't know now like if that's okay, I'm concerned.

Speaker 1: 3:03

But to be clear she, I mean she did not to be clear. She, I mean she did not hesitate. She was like I got one. I mean she did not miss a beat. No, she was like driving. I'm like you know what, simon? I agree with that.

Speaker 2: 3:16

A hundred percent I shouldn't be and like the singing thing, that took me by surprise because I don't think I'm like Taylor Swift, but I feel like I can get us through like church and maybe a couple country songs, but apparently not.

Speaker 1: 3:28

Apparently. Your daughter's been judging you her entire life.

Speaker 2: 3:32

How about favorite memories. You go first because yours was hysterical.

Speaker 1: 3:37

And I think this begs a bigger conversation. So like, okay, someone tell you Clark's answer first and then we can talk about the lesson that I learned from. To tell you Clark's answer first and then we can talk about the lesson that I learned from it. So Clark's answer was was it the favorite core memory or was it the? No, it was core memory.

Speaker 2: 3:54

I think it was core memory. Are you talking about the skipping on the sidewalk, the chicken?

Speaker 1: 3:59

Okay, so yeah. So Clark and I were coming. We we often buy a rotisserie chicken from Publix Shout out to the Moho and one day I was carrying it. We had just gotten home and I was carrying it down our sidewalk to come in the house and it fell out the bottom of the bag. So like the whole rotisserie chicken is just like chilling on the ground and I'm like, well, shit, that was our dinner Right. Well, I'm picking it up. I'm like I'll just pick the skin off, no big deal, we were all fine. But the dog came out. It was like eating the sidewalk to get the chicken remnants and she thought it was. I'm like that was a core memory for her. This was like three years ago. It's crazy to me that, like something that I may have considered, quote unquote, like a failure, even though I just dropped a chicken Like she, she, that's a core memory for her because she thought it was hilarious.

Speaker 2: 5:02

Have you seen the reel where the dad and the mom talk about their spring break and they I mean they freaking killed it Like they took them to Disney. And then there was like some random Crayola factory and they did like 9,000 things in seven days and at the end they were like what's your favorite memory? And the kids all started laughing. And on the very first day the dad had too much in his hands and he fell down the stairs and that was their favorite memory of the. They must've spent $10,000 on their spring break and him eating on the stairs was there.

Speaker 1: 5:37

So what is this Cause? Like, I feel like I'm definitely like, oh, I have to make everything magical and like, all of these things made up, right and like, but she remembers the chicken drops and the snuggles. So, like, I think we should talk about that Like we overcomplicate everything.

Speaker 2: 6:00

Wait, do you want really quick? Do you remember what my girl said? They're, one of their favorite memories is of me. Was it snowman soup? That was something I make really well.

Speaker 1: 6:12

That was the cutest thing ever.

Speaker 2: 6:14

That was the cutest thing you know. It's like evolved into this like whole obsessive process. So snowman soup is really beef stew. But I like use baby carrots cause I have little kids and so like if there's really skinny ones I just drop them straight in, cause it's funny, it's like finding a nose, and then I don't use big potatoes, I use the little ones and I slice them up thin so they're circles still and like it's a whole thing. It's some it's like favorite meal ever other than chicken piccata. But no, she said that me lighting easy mac on cheese three times. It's like an event in our house. So obviously she's waiting for me to do it again.

Speaker 1: 6:53

But isn't that?

Speaker 2: 6:53

cute though the fact that I've done it three times, the fact that it's now like yes, she did it again. Britney.

Speaker 1: 7:02

Spears. I know I love it. We've got to post some. So I snapped a couple of pictures after we were done with the podcast and Summit's face up near the camera Y'all. We'll post them because they are that funny. But I mean, this kid, she is great, she's baby raccoon, baby raccoon, she is.

Speaker 2: 7:24

For sure, and you know she just lives for me doing like she laughs so hard when life is like I'm just. I think they just like us being real. I don't. I think they enjoy doing stuff and being busy, but it's not. I think the more real we are, the more they get a kick out of it.

Speaker 1: 7:44

I know, and I love that because I think that they're still finding their way as to what failure is and what failure looks like. We're finding our way with that, for sure, but like what a response to it should be. I think they're learning all of that from us. So, like I mean, I screw up on the rag and you now I'm just like, oh, you know, whoops, mom forgot that, you know. And she like pats me on the back oh, it's okay, like nobody's perfect, it's fine, not that big of a deal. What did she tell me last night? I know it was this morning, while we were getting ready for school. I was like frazzled she was. She touched my arm. She was like I know, you just got back from girls weekend. Just take, take it easy. Just take it easy, don't stress. Today I'm like she's my biggest cheerleader and I'm here for it. Her and Nate, I love it Like pilot will.

Speaker 2: 8:37

pilot struggles more with perfectionism, um, and everything being right and perfect and having the same as everyone. Summit doesn't have that.

Speaker 1: 8:45

That's Clark. It's that first child, though, I'm telling you.

Speaker 2: 8:49

Summit doesn't have a bone of that in her body at all. But so I was talking to my mom earlier and I'm really big on this, making sure I don't enjoy perfectionism. I remember I talked about this early in the podcast seasons. My sister-in-law said to me once perfectionism is a disease and I can be very obsessive. But I'm trying to make sure that I'm not being a perfectionist, because I think the obsessive part is actually just my personality.

Speaker 2: 9:16

Yeah, Like the cleaning thing, right, I just don't. I don't think I'm going to be able to not make my bed when I wake up. I don't think I'll be well, but the perfectionism part doesn't feel super healthy. So, and I don't think it actually is who I am. I think it was the nature of the beast before. But my mom said that perfectionism is when you don't enjoy the process. I know so it just happened in a conversation like three hours ago, so I've been thinking about it, but I was like, oh, I'm definitely putting this on Jenny now because that's such an interesting thought. She's like when you're doing something and you don't enjoy it at all, that's actually perfectionism.

Speaker 1: 9:54

Ooh.

Speaker 2: 9:55

I know we might need to look into this.

Speaker 1: 9:58

Yeah, I feel like I need to. I need to sit in that one for a minute.

Speaker 2: 10:06

I know, so I'm giving it to you. You're welcome. Thank you, you can keep it now for me.

Speaker 1: 10:08

I was talking about the hair. Well, I was about to bring up the hair. So, rebecca, she does not Facebook often, but last week, last week, I saw a post in a group that we are both members of Yep and it was by Rebecca and it said I should have pulled it up Long story short.

Speaker 2: 10:36

This is going to sound a little unhinged.

Speaker 1: 10:40

But she was asking for recommendations on where to get a perm and in true Jenny fashion, like I don't know if she knew I was going to see it, I don't know if she even knew I was in this group with her, but my response was whoa, whoa, whoa, we have got to discuss. And like all these people started like laughing and like commenting on it and I'm like, yeah, girl, people panic.

Speaker 2: 11:10

Like a large portion of my friends. People were like absolutely not what is happening here. People were dropping like the gifs. I at one point I was like trying to defend myself inside of the group. I felt like I was like at the front of a castle with swords. I was like I have gotten permission from my stylist and then I was like it's not bangs. I'm like I don't want people to think I'm getting a perm because they got divorced.

Speaker 1: 11:31

Well, no, and that was definitely what I thought, like for sure. I was like no, I'm not even kidding, I'm like she is grabbing her freedom by the balls and say by the balls, and say, by golly, it's the season of the perm. And I mean like I think people hear the word perm and they immediately go back to like coming to America like the Jerry curl, like you know where everybody's sitting on the couch, and it like leaves like Jerry curl jeans, or something but if you would have prefaced.

Speaker 1: 12:07

So we started a text message chain about it, clearly, because I was ready to stage an intervention and she was like, we know, like she sent me a picture of blake lively at the super bowl and I'm like, oh okay, I see where we're going now. So like I was I, I was, I was, it was not, it was not coming to America, per perm, it was Blake Lively. Like you look like a lion ass.

Speaker 2: 12:32

Yeah, it was like I just feel this whole. You know I love my gold jewelry and you know I like what does it have to do with gold jewelry? Blake Lively? Okay, and you know I like love, I do actually this is going to sound stupid, but I do actually like love my hair.

Speaker 2: 12:51

I feel very thankful, I love it and I like have a million reasons why I'm very thankful for it. Like I have a maternal grandmother who actually passed away from breast cancer and there's a whole portion where she like didn't have her hair and had wigs and I was really young and that just looked hard to me and I'm sure in her process there were much harder things happening, but it just looked hard. And so I've always been like I've never been somebody who's like I hate my hair. I have hated what I've done to it before and I learned more about it. But like we are not entering this season where really pretty straight hair or well, like curled hair is going to do anything. It is. We are on the doorsteps of what summer is like in Charleston and there's no so, and I have naturally wavy hair, right, and I have naturally wavy hair.

Speaker 2: 13:48

So I was like how do I tap into this natural wave? But I also was trying to be lazy. So I talked to my stylist, ashley, and I was like I just want something. That's no maintenance. She's like this is all a lie, the fact that you thought you were going to get a perm and you're just going to wake up and scrunch your hair for two seconds and go out your door. That's a lie, you told yourself and she started being like you know, you have to grow it out, it's permanent.

Speaker 1: 14:13

I do, yeah, so I'm sitting here. I was judging you, but in 2007, 8, I got a perm. I was in my twenties. I got well. Back then we called it body waves. I feel like that's like it was the beach wave era, you know, it was like I want to look like I just came off the surfboard. I mean, let's be real, no, I don't do that, but anyway. So I had this body wave. I did a one time. Like almost 20 years later, I still have this body wave, so like if I don't dry my hair, then I have like waves, and that's all I do all summer. I never dry my hair in the summer. It usually is frizzy. I mean, we live in Charleston, it's hella humid and I just roll with it, and so I will say you don't always have to maintain it, but it might take you 20 years.

Speaker 2: 15:11

So then my stylist, who, by the way, is significantly younger than me. I basically started going to her right after she graduated high school and it was like in the middle of COVID. So we've been through a lot together and I posted a reel about her the other day Cause I heard I have actually been through some really hard things together too. They didn't have to do with us, but she was amazing, um, but she was like I'm Blake doesn't have a perm. I'm going to teach you how to do this to your hair. You have natural wave. We just need to like lean into it.

Speaker 2: 15:43

And I was like what do I do about the humidity? And she was like there's not a single product out there that is going to save you from humidity. Like JLo gets frizzy hair. So you got to move on from it. What do you do? So she taught me how to do this. Today was my first day doing it. I'm actually kind of obsessed with it. It is big, so I feel like I don't know how everyone's reactions are going to be, but I also don't care. I'm kind of obsessed with it. I love it.

Speaker 1: 16:06

I think it looks great, it varies. Reminiscent of Blake Lively.

Speaker 2: 16:10

Okay, and the barrel I got was a little bit too small, so I made a joke earlier on Instagram like apparently neither of us knows what a quarter inch is and the box looks of course it came. Have you ever had an Amazon package where they just put the label right on the box and they just yes?

Speaker 1: 16:26

And I love when they do it during Christmas. I'm like dude, like come on, come on, come on.

Speaker 2: 16:32

Well, so it's. And I bought it in pink because you know, obviously it looked so sketchy. When I was bringing it back to my apartment, I looked like the most single girl here. It just like a giant pink wand. I most single girl here, it's just like a giant pink wand.

Speaker 1: 16:47

I was not proud of myself at all. Well, I've seen your neighbor. Some of them in their underwear, not by choice, yeah, you did see one of my neighbors in his underwear.

Speaker 2: 16:55

It wasn't at my place.

Speaker 1: 16:56

No judgment.

Speaker 2: 16:58

He's married. He's happily married. It has nothing to do with me.

Speaker 1: 17:01

No neighbors have been in my apartment.

Speaker 2: 17:04

No neighbors have been in my apartment in their underwear. Okay, just to clarify. Yep, so we're working on the Blake Lively hair. I'm going to change a few things and I have another iron coming tomorrow for a little more depth. I like it. Should I wear it Thursday?

Speaker 1: 17:20

Do you think it's too much? I don't know we need to marinate on that one.

Speaker 2: 17:24

You need to. We have a whole day, though, so it would stay actually really nice it would.

Speaker 1: 17:31

It would. I don't think it's that wild. I mean I can only see you in the podcast square studio. I love it. I'm going to be honest with you. And then we kind of have like the straight hair and the curly hair thing going. A little more of our yin and our yang. I'm here for it, yeah.

Speaker 2: 17:48

I know that's what I was thinking. I was like your hair always looks so nice and perfectly straight. I was like maybe this is kind of like our thing.

Speaker 1: 17:57

Yeah, I love that. This is how we meeting prep. Well, we have a big meeting on Thursday. How are you wearing your hair?

Speaker 2: 18:09

We is how we meeting prep. Well, we have a big meeting on Thursday. How are you wearing your hair? We continue to grow. We are meeting with a potential client, but in the meantime we also have another meeting with a current client after, and then we have a girl's dinner. Yes, so I can't look like a melted snowman by six o'clock, because that's when the fun starts. That's when the fun starts. Yeah, we got to plan our meeting prep, okay. So you know, I have this epiphany the other day.

Speaker 1: 18:29

I want to share it.

Speaker 2: 18:30

Lay it on me. Okay, it's brief. It's like a two second part of our conversation, but I was thinking about how obsessed with America's funniest home videos I am. Do you have this?

Speaker 1: 18:41

Yes, I've been obsessed with AFV since, like afv whatever year it came out okay, so same like bob you don't call it afv yeah, sure, I just like.

Speaker 2: 18:54

I just love the throwback. It's like okay. So yes, bob, we've been through everyone like bob saget, um, I can't remember anyone? Yeah, tom.

Speaker 1: 19:03

Bergeron, and then you got Carlton.

Speaker 2: 19:08

I could only think of the name Carlton.

Speaker 1: 19:12

I can see his dance. I can't think of Alfonso. Blah, blah, blah, something Riviera that sounds it.

Speaker 2: 19:20

oh god. We're not going to do names, but here's the thing and I don't know, maybe it was like a hair wash situation, but I started to come up with this entire concept about how I think that we have been reels trained our entire life, because we grew up watching three and five and 10 second videos on America's Funniest Home Videos and being so amused by it. And now we can do that any like 24-7, at the drop of a hat. We can sit there and have that same experience, and I actually think Disney is the reason we're obsessed with reels. Ooh, I mean, it's like a nothing theory, but I was like wait a minute, this is exact. I watch, I love funny videos, I love oh my god, all right.

Speaker 1: 20:08

So, like what's your top video that you've seen in the past two weeks, I'm gonna put you on the spot real quick I'm gonna have to think about that.

Speaker 2: 20:17

I don't know. I thought you're gonna say forever I'm ready go.

Speaker 1: 20:21

I was just telling ro Roxanne about it this weekend. Go the one with the ladies walking on the porch.

Speaker 2: 20:27

Oh my, is it Gladys Bobby?

Speaker 1: 20:30

Bobby, oh Jesus Bobby, done fallen to bushes. Bobby, how'd you let that happen? Oh my gosh. That is one of those ones that they have gotten a lot of engagement from me, because I swear I have watched that thing at least 60 times. It makes me belly laugh, trips me out.

Speaker 2: 20:50

I just watched it again last night. It's like so funny to me.

Speaker 1: 20:54

It's so funny because I feel like it's something that would. So I think the ring cameras are one of the best inventions ever for a variety of reasons. Best inventions ever for a variety of reasons yeah, but like the, the content that we have been able to get from a ring camera is I just I love them. I'm sure you've seen that one where the dad's on the porch like talking to my mom who's coming to drop off her son or something, and he like twists his ankle the wrong way and completely falls down the stairs like trips over his flip-flop. Because I'm like the funny, like AFV, like I know for me a lot of times I'm like why were you recording that? You know what I mean. It's like were you trying to fake it? Like what were you? But then with ring cameras, you know it's genuine because it's just it's.

Speaker 2: 21:43

You know it's live and you know it's live. No, no, I like live for it. I um, you know I love the golf girls, my fairway ladies. I'm obsessed with them. You are obsessed. I am, I think, because it reminds me of my girlfriends, it reminds me of you and I.

Speaker 2: 22:00

There was the one yesterday that I posted where they were together and the one goes my boyfriend just texted me and the other girl goes AP and she's like my boyfriend and she's teasing her, and I 100% know that the day that we're doing it I'm like, oh sorry, my boyfriend had texted me, you're gonna roast me for the whole day, 100%, 100%. And like they make me laugh so hard just because, like, first of all, the one's a terrible driver. Yeah, like, if you watch that further, yesterday she I don't know what she had the parking brake on, so the whole thing like locked up at one point and they couldn't figure out what was wrong. Even If you watch that further, yesterday I don't know what she did the parking brake on, so the whole thing like locked up at one point and they couldn't figure out what was wrong, even though they were driving, it was the parking brake.

Speaker 1: 22:46

I identify with this. But I think, like to bring the conversation semi full circle, like I feel this goes back to like the core memories with our kids. Like, yeah, it's the simplest thing, yeah, and everybody over complicates it. Like the things that are a big deal to our kids or the things that are funny to me are just like the day to day some lady falling in a bush, you know.

Speaker 2: 23:15

I feel like the time it's me. That's what.

Speaker 1: 23:19

I'm saying, oh my God, my kids, girls riding together in a golf cart, just be. I mean again, that's like me and you on a normal day in the car.

Speaker 2: 23:28

You know what I'm surprised? The girls didn't say one of their favorite things. Do you remember when they were redoing? This is closer to preschool, so you would definitely remember this is when you and your dad had the business inside Park West. Yeah, but they were redoing all of like the sidewalks and stuff when they were widening the road and they had like that big black cloth basically all the way along the other side of the path. They were like cutting the woods back for the walking path and the golf cart path.

Speaker 2: 23:53

Okay Well, so we were taking the golf cart, I think just to publics, um, but like there was a branch that kept scraping the golf cart when we went by. So I finally got out of the golf cart and like put it in park and I was I meant to snap the branch off, like just so it wouldn't keep scraping everyone's golf cart. But when it finally went I had already been putting so much my body weight in. I like flipped over the cloth part. I like went down with the branch and for years summit the exact spot she'd be like memo when you flipped over that thing and everyone was watching when they were driving. I mean I went like head over tea. What is it head over? Keister head over?

Speaker 1: 24:37

I've definitely heard this one tea kettle over teacup. I don't know you are saying something that sounds extremely southern. It's like blowing my mind right now. I don't know teacup over tea kettle. I've never heard that in my life, but I might be butchering it, I'm pretty sure. Whatever it is, oh god, my feet went up, but I might be butchering it.

Speaker 2: 24:56

I'm pretty sure, whatever it is, you are. Oh God, my feet went up in the air. I went all the way over Like I ate shit into the woods.

Speaker 1: 25:05

I was like great now.

Speaker 2: 25:06

I'm going to get poison ivy. So like made us go in the bathroom and I like washed my arms because I'm so afraid of poison ivy. Huh, fun fact.

Speaker 1: 25:15

Yeah, absolutely, it's awful, it looks awful, I don't know. So afv back to afv. So you? So you think that? I mean, I guess that makes sense that we've been programmed to like those short snippets of entertainment yeah, we were literally trained as young kids.

Speaker 2: 25:37

Like I love to think back on the fact that you and I were around when MySpace started and you know we were born in the 1900s.

Speaker 1: 25:45

Oh my God, I literally just imagined us with like a bonnet on and like an apron Turning our butter.

Speaker 2: 25:53

First of all, if I'm in an apron, you better hope that it's not you in the room or we're not baking, because I am not built for baking, oh no.

Speaker 1: 26:01

At all the worst baker. We're in the middle of Teacher Appreciation Week this week. Oh yes, shout out to our incredible teachers nationwide we love you all you are. We just don't deserve you. But I made dessert. And when I say I made dessert, I went to Publix and I ordered, like the cookie sandwich tray, okay. And so the mom was like, or one of the teachers was like, oh, did you make these? I was like, no, no, no, nope, nope, nope, nope. I was like I love y'all way too much to be begging for you.

Speaker 2: 26:38

A hundred percent.

Speaker 1: 26:39

Don't beg Not a beggar.

Speaker 2: 26:41

No, I can't do it. I mean, like I can get us through Christmas cookies and I have a really good recipe from my grandma, but like there's no sourdough girl inside of me, I mean I love sourdough, it's my favorite. I have a person locally um saltwater sourdough, kara. That's amazing.

Speaker 1: 26:59

She's shout out to her and her chocolate chip cookies, dear Lord.

Speaker 2: 27:05

So good.

Speaker 1: 27:06

They're so good. They are some of the best chocolate chip cookies, and I'm a chocolate chip cookie snob.

Speaker 2: 27:12

Hers are perfect, like no, she really is like the bee's knees of sourdough. Like for me, loyal to the core, like I love her. Get her stuff for gifts. You can get it now at the coffee shop that's right by me. I'm obsessed with her and she's such a good soul Like she was you know what. So her and I this is going to sound. This is a weird story.

Speaker 1: 27:33

I would expect nothing less sound.

Speaker 2: 27:38

This is a weird story. I would expect nothing less. Two years ago I joined like the gym in our community and I was like working there, working out, and she came up to me have I told you this story before? I believe so. But so she was like I have to ask you something really weird. And I was like great, I love weird, let's go. I mean, I had no idea what she was going to say, but she asked me what my name was and she was like I have been like following you for a little bit. I just think you're so funny. I'm like so excited to like like meet you and now we're friends and I'm so glad she said that that day because I like love her soul. She's like sunshine. Our kids both are competitive like swimmers on the same summer league but for different teams.

Speaker 1: 28:39

So I see her out doing that too, and she's. She's like us. She hustles, she does the work Like. She's up early mornings, she's up late nights, she volunteers her time at school and at swim team. I have such a deep respect for people who feel like it's's easy to look at people like you or I and be like what are you doing?

Speaker 2: 28:46

yes, I definitely I feel that muscle. But there I know like what am I? What am I doing? You're right, what am I doing? But then I see other people like her and I'm like gosh, she's such a good like, she's just such a good egg. And then I see other people like her and I'm like gosh, she's such a good like, she's just such a good egg. And then I'm like you know, if I'm going to pick a circle to swim in, if I'm going to pick a group of people to be judged by or to be likened to, I'm picking people like Kara. Yeah.

Speaker 1: 29:09

Well, the thing that I love about her is that I feel like and I follow her on social media as well I feel like one of the things that she conveys, whether she means to or not, is that she genuinely loves what she does. Yeah, I mean, it comes across in every picture, every post, every. She is just someone who she just really loves what she does and she's really proud of it, and I really I find it extremely inspiring as a woman business owner. I just think that she is incredible because, I mean, it makes me want to follow her, because I'm like who doesn't want to love what they do that much? Like she's just and it makes you want to buy from her because you can I mean, especially when you're talking baking like you bake with love, right, yeah. So like, especially when you're talking baking like you bake with love, right, yeah. So like, yeah, you just feel it. You just feel it in all of her and all of her social when I'm like we're on this journey.

Speaker 2: 30:03

she's so authentic. So she'll talk about how she doesn't like showing up on camera, but then how she's got to and she like makes it fun and she's gotten some new like some like serious equipment lately. So I love seeing the growth too. I know, I know. I know what this is like the special oven. Don't know what that means, but I do know that it means that she's growing and she outgrew whatever she was using previously and I just get so excited for that part.

Speaker 1: 30:30

And then she got that huge mixer and I was like yes, yes, I know it's so great, so we got to talk about something real quick about being on camera. What so about? What? Was it? Becca, like two or three weeks ago?

Speaker 2: 30:44

Oh yeah.

Speaker 1: 30:46

So y'all know I don't do this. We had hit what. What did we hit? Listen, we're going to talk about the weird stuff, because that's why we're here Was it 500 or was it 750? It was a milestone of some sort.

Speaker 2: 31:00

I think it was 500. I think it was like yeah.

Speaker 1: 31:03

So I recorded some videos of me thanking everyone for their listening. It took me about seven to nine tries just to find a light that I didn't look like Chewbacca in. And then I shot these videos and I sent them to Rebecca. I'm like, listen, I know I need to do this, but I really, really don't want to do this. And Rebecca, in her sweet supportive fashion, she's like just just, basically, she was telling me I was being long-winded and I'm like I just can't do, I just I'm not ready. But I recorded them so I'm going to consider that progress.

Speaker 2: 31:47

So I started right like I started telling you you were being long-winded. I was trying to give you a tip on how to like gather your thoughts quickly. No, I was like use the time thing so that you know you only have to live, live in this little spot and then try to shove all your thoughts into this spot and then, as soon as the time thing is done, you can be done.

Speaker 1: 32:11

Yeah, I did not pick up on that.

Speaker 2: 32:15

Y'all, it was not my thing. You were in a self. That was your own self talking to yourself, because you already were like I look like chewbacca. I did, I definitely did like 13, that was your narrative. That's not. That, did not I?

Speaker 1: 32:27

know I'm not pushing, I'm not pushing that on me, I'm not pushing that on me. But long story short, y'all did not see these videos because just I don't think you were in the right headspace.

Speaker 2: 32:40

I'm trying, but I think you were being. I think you were in the thankful headspace but you weren't. I know, but I don't go, I don't go live as much as I used to. Why is that? I think I'm just busy now. Yeah, yeah, I mean, I really think I just like, and then somebody will write to me and be like where are you, Are you okay? Oh, that's nice. Yeah, Well, I think there. Let me just tell you Well, let's be honest here, Hold up. I think there are still a certain amount of people who are trying to figure out if I'm laying on the kitchen floor sobbing they're watching for that.

Speaker 2: 33:20

Are you about to kill a bug? Yeah, it's been driving me this crazy this whole time. If you just smack it real quick.

Speaker 1: 33:28

That's what you did.

Speaker 2: 33:30

I think there's this Ooh, if that didn't do it, he's scared. Now, yeah, he should be. I think there's a certain amount of people who are like watching to see if I'm like laying on the floor crying and I continue to kind of mute those people but isn't it funny that you're like the opposite, like you're like up throbbing and doing a jig and like certainly I cry, but it's usually out of like it has almost nothing to do with I don't know.

Speaker 2: 33:56

It's the process, I think more than anything and, but it's usually out of like it has almost nothing to do with. I don't know. It's the process, I think more than anything, and then it's I have a. We have a lot going on, and so when I get frustrated or when I get overwhelmed or like lately, I feel like I've been learning a lot and that should be exciting. But I will tell you, nothing makes me more mad than feeling like a fucking idiot.

Speaker 1: 34:14

Sorry, Wait, we're more explicit. You're good. No, listen, I feel that like and I think you and I too are really trying to like learn how to do all the things, and it's May the busiest month.

Speaker 2: 34:32

You guys don't know when you're a mom. The school year here ends at the very beginning of June, so they shove. It's like the alphabet Every day is a letter Teacher appreciation week Party Teacher appreciation work In here. Oh God, State testing. We've got a field days.

Speaker 1: 34:52

Color lines I mean it's just like I can't, I just like I can't, I just can't do it. And so I know I personally am feeling the same way, because it's like when they ask me at the end of the day, oh, like, how was your day? I'm like I forgot to get groceries, like I had to end my dinner at like 5 o'clock today because I legitimately forgot that I had to feed my family tonight. That's how busy my days are.

Speaker 2: 35:22

It's not even that you forgot, it's just that like 4,000 things came first.

Speaker 1: 35:29

If it's not on the list. On my calendar list it does not happen. I told you I needed some. Buy cream cheese, cream cheese today for Teacher Appreciation Week. I remembered to do that. You know why it was on my calendar. I forgot to get dinner for my family. Thank God, shout out to Ronnie, my Instacart delivery man. Today you saved the day we had tacos. Dinner was done in 20 minutes. Instacart best money I spend.

Speaker 2: 36:00

I know I actually I'm a big fan of Instacart and somebody actually gave me pushback about it the other day. But I'm like I have got to outsource. I don't know Just whatever. You know how people are, but if I don't outsource a few things, I just can't get it done. It's not possible. I told you I stayed up until 3.30 the other night.

Speaker 1: 36:22

I wish I could do it. I do, I wish I could join you.

Speaker 2: 36:26

You know what it was? It's the fact that no one else can get to me because everyone else is asleep. So I'm like let's just freaking hustle. There's no phone calls, there's.

Speaker 1: 36:40

I've been saying I was going to do it. I've been saying I was going to do it. No, you got rid of your Apple watch.

Speaker 2: 36:45

I took it off. Oh my God, I'm jealous. Do you know? I am four days into this new situation? Obviously, I still have it. I didn't throw it out. I don't know what will happen. It's a social experiment, but I will look down. I will feel the vibration and look down and I'm like this is exactly why I had to take it off. So I'm not judging anyone who's wearing an Apple watch, but I will give the backstory.

Speaker 2: 37:12

I started to feel and maybe this is like the divorce or other stuff, but I've been very deep lately and in my feelings, but I started to feel like I was a dog, like this Pavlovian, a treat, buzz treat. But you know, I hate like checking off the emails. I don't care if the apps tell me like I've like 11 teen Snapchats here that I haven't like, I haven't seen them. I don't care because to me it's all this made up like it's a way to compartmentalize us and keep us small. So I'm like well, if I have to sit here and delete 19 Bath and Body Works and I'm on some European dating site, I'm really not. I don't know what happened, but it bombards my email you should be.

Speaker 2: 37:56

It's like 47 emails a day. I can't log into my profile. I don't know how I got there. I don't mean to be there. It's all made up. It's all like AI. I can just tell it's all bullshit. But that's like 47 emails a day. I don't have time for it.

Speaker 1: 38:10

I am really proud of you. I feel like that's a very healthy boundary.

Speaker 2: 38:15

It is, and so I have my ringtone on. Now you can get to me on my phone, but this Pavlovian like buzz, buzz, buzz on my wrist had to stop. It was making me feel like a shock collar. It was making me feel like I was in prison that's. I feel like I need to try this. It felt like my ankle bracelet. I started to really when I started to think about it and I was having a visceral. I was irritated when it would go off and I had shut everything down, Like the only thing that notified me was calls and texts. Nothing else notified me and it still was like oh I'm sure, Like I'll look down.

Speaker 1: 38:49

I'm like I have texted her like 12 times without a response and like I'm irritated with myself. But then there's days that doesn't bother me, oh no, it bothers me. But then there's days when I get that many text message for you and I'm like I text you back and I'm like did you have cocaine for breakfast? Like what is going? Like why are you? Like you were on one this morning, like it is funny, like I love the same days. I love that about you. You're either like sleeping till 10 am and like getting up and having a lovely little breakfast, or you were texting me at 6 15 am out the gate with like I'm like, oh my gosh, I just opened my eyes. But this is true, it's so true and it's so funny because we it's a, it's a dance with us the fact that you know that there are days that I sleep until 10 am is also kind of mind-boggling.

Speaker 1: 39:46

What? No, I love that. I love that you allow your body to rest. I mean my gosh staying up until 3.30 in the morning. I would be a psychopath. That's the thing.

Speaker 2: 39:55

I'm just making up time, so it's kind of like I just tipped my time.

Speaker 1: 40:00

But I did, I took the Apple Watch off.

Speaker 2: 40:01

We are four days in. I'm so proud of you. I'm really enjoying it so far.

Speaker 1: 40:10

Okay, I need a full detailed report in about a month because I feel like I'm kind of I need to get off of it as well.

Speaker 2: 40:16

It feels like a weird drug but it feels kind of abusive right A little bit. Yeah, I don't get irritated when I feel it drug and it, but it feels kind of abusive right. A little bit yeah, so.

Speaker 1: 40:23

I think you're like. I just like you. I don't get irritated when I feel it. It's just like these building blocks of overwhelmed like. Even from target, I'm like, oh my gosh, do I need to go to target? What do I need to target Today? I needed to go, I need to get deodorant, I need to get this, I need to get that. So I feel that in my soul.

Speaker 2: 40:43

Well, I will let you know, but I'm pretty sure that I'm not putting it on anytime soon. I bought a watch that I love from a brand that I love, and in the meantime I was like I'll make a mild investment nothing crazy at all and so far, so good. I also used to love a good timepiece and I worked at Michael Kors forever, so I like loved the watches in the watch case so, and I love a man's watch. I don't know why I feel like I. I feel like I can't have a little skinny watch. See, I love a skinny watch. I knew you were going to say that, so I had this funny feeling that you were going to say that I love this about us. I like love a massive time piece. I don't know why, like this is how weird it is.

Speaker 1: 41:27

Like there's this movie. Do you remember, do you remember that movie, the Breakup with Vince Vaughn and Jennifer Aniston? I freaking love that movie. I was obsessed with the watch that she wore in that movie. Like, know, it was like this small black, like dainty watch, but it wasn't like feminine, it wasn't like masculine and like I looked everywhere to try to find, like, what kind of watch it was and I didn't have any luck. But like I was obsessed with this water, like that's, like it stuck out to me that much, but I, can you find me a picture?

Speaker 2: 41:59

of it, because now I don't know what it is, I'm like so.

Speaker 1: 42:03

I did get one thing Like you watch, I love this.

Speaker 2: 42:08

First of all, I loved that movie. Second of all, I think my obsession with like the large time piece came from my time at MK, because I started off with the smaller ones and then they only got bigger, and then when I re-bought this time I was like I just want it bigger.

Speaker 1: 42:29

And then when I re-bought this time I was like I just wanted to feel, now that I'm about to say you call it a time piece, like again, I see us in like bonnets and aprons, like I'm churning butter and you're sitting there reminiscing about, I mean, like what we are from the 1900s.

Speaker 2: 42:38

If you're calling something a time piece, just say it at mk it's like a time piece. It's like a time piece. We also called it the wrist party, which I obviously have never left, because I love a full wrist party.

Speaker 1: 42:48

You do love a full wrist.

Speaker 2: 42:50

I know it's like the emotional support hoops.

Speaker 1: 42:55

You got some good ones too. I actually have that on my list. Of things to talk to you about is your hoops. Yours are very dainty and I like them.

Speaker 2: 43:02

I love my hoops. I have been a hoops person forever, the really thin pair that I wear all the time lately. Yeah, they're good, they're okay. So that's a Michael Kors hoop. I'm not saying yes, it's, they're 10 years old. I was at a meeting and I actually was extremely sick, like I. I was high enough up that this mattered, but I felt like shit. I was clearly fevering, but I was done up in this full jumpsuit and I was like I can't do this anymore. I was like I have to excuse myself. For a minute. I left, shopped on the way out, literally bought the hoops and a pair of jelly sandals, walked down to a nail salon. They put me in the last chair and I passed out for an hour and got a pedicure and then I came.

Speaker 1: 43:53

I did not foresee that story go in that direction.

Speaker 2: 43:57

I was like my boss is like are you okay? I was like yeah, I'm just.

Speaker 2: 44:01

I think it was something I ate, but I really made me need a pedicure Just well, I need, I needed a nap, so I couldn't come up with like how to fix this. I told the man. I was like, sir, something is like wrong with me, just put my feet in the water. He was like, no, I'll help you. So you like gave me the world's longest pedicure and I freaking passed out cold in that chair, and I would. I felt so much better when I went back. See, sleep does the body right? Yep, I went and had to be up all night. I like had to go to dinner and like do things Yuck, and I had brand new shoes. Oh my gosh.

Speaker 1: 44:44

Never a dull moment here, folks. Never a dull moment.

Speaker 2: 44:48

I had the most fun, though, at that job. I had the best time.

Speaker 1: 44:52

Except the job that we're doing now is even more fun.

Speaker 2: 44:55

Oh, this is completely different. This was like the fun you have when you're young and you don't have kids and you have like very little responsibility and like a little bit of extra cash that you just feel like I mean, they gave us clothes, they gave us clothes, they gave us shoes, they gave us like handbags and allowances and okay well, I wore the blockbuster and I got to see the new releases first See that's the stuff I live for.

Speaker 2: 45:24

I had the best boss. Let's talk about bosses for a minute. My boss was Derek Smith. To this day, we still talk every once in a while. I just talked to him two months ago for two hours. We had such a good dynamic. I always say that the best leaders are people who can follow, and that's what made me a really good leader for him. I always understood his message clearly. I could bring it back to the teams. He was a very clear communicator. I could tell when his heart wasn't in something, so I knew I didn't have to invest my heart wholly in it either. I feel like I'm going to pause this conversation.

Speaker 1: 46:00

I feel like this is like a whole podcast, do you think? Yeah, I would love to talk about like the best leaders that we've had and like the worst leaders that we have. I feel like that would be really interesting. I like that.

Speaker 2: 46:12

Okay, so I will tell a Derek story then that has nothing to do with leadership and we'll save the leadership combo. Okay, good, yeah, cause I want to come out of that one. Okay, so like they were fairly progressive, so like we stopped rooming together pretty early on in my career there because they essentially like they didn't want to put anyone in a position where they had to let's just say, without getting political gender identify, but this is like 15 years ago.

Speaker 2: 46:42

So, super progressive, but it's fashion. So just like, first of all, me not having to room with somebody is amazing. If I'm in a situation like that and the fact that we always had to it's kind of annoying. Yeah, that's weird. It just happens a lot in retail because there's a lot of clean bedrooms and it's like you got to get a bunch of people into a hotel. So this is fairly common and I loved everyone in my level and higher, so it was fine. But I had this roommate that I would always get her. Her name was Casey and one time we had to room together and it was actually like on my birthday. It was like three days and it was during my birthday time and I hadn't told her, but she had figured it out, cause I'm just not like that. I'm really small about birthdays, but the morning of she's like let's get a room service, and it was the very first one I was like, yes, we were at the Westin.

Speaker 2: 47:29

So, like a pot of coffee is like $36. We got the whole shebang. I had put the room on my card when we signed in so I was like, surely I'll just submit the receipt for the room. We both got like egg white omelets, we got hash browns, we got spinach, like we did it up. So we get downstairs and she's a little bit more of a rule follower and Derek gets like everyone together and he is like hey, like after a woman went to bed, I went and I put everyone's room on my card, so you guys didn't have to submit. Oh no, didn't have to submit. I know, oh no, didn't have to submit for it. And I was like and so she is like giving me the eye like Rebecca, rebecca, rebecca, we just spent like $130 on breakfast. Like we just blew the bank. You know how this would happen. Like we got a fruit bowl, like we were just whatever.

Speaker 1: 48:21

It was your birthday. It was a birthday breakfast.

Speaker 2: 48:24

The two of us together can be notorious. This is the stuff you and I would get into. It's not outside of the realm of possibility.

Speaker 1: 48:31

I live for room service.

Speaker 2: 48:34

Same Clark's room service is life, it's life. She's like you have to tell him, you have to tell him, you have to tell him, you have to tell him, you have to tell him. So we wait for everyone. And she's like dead silent, like her lips are just like going blue. They're so pursed together. I'm like so we wait for everyone to walk away. And I'm like hey, I got to talk to you really quick. And he's like yeah, I was like we ordered room service and he said yeah, me too. Did you get the parfait? The parfait here is amazing. I was like no, derek, we did not get the parfait, we got everything else.

Speaker 2: 49:07

He was like what did you get? He just knows the two of us and she's panicking, so she's giving off a different energy next to me, like what we basically got. So our bill is over $100. And I just want to tell you, first of all, I will handle it. I can go to the front desk right now, but also I'm so sorry, I didn't know you were going to do that and he was dying laughing. He was like do not tell your friends.

Speaker 1: 49:35

I mean, it's not that out of the realm, I mean it's not like everyone had done it. You know what I mean. Like it wasn't like. But if you to drop like a grand on a bottle of like Chris, we were meeting for breakfast. Oh listen, you're not getting any judgment from me. I love her All day.

Speaker 2: 49:54

Better to tell you. So, anyways, he was like don't tell your friends, it's fine, I will handle it, but please don't do it again tomorrow. I was like, yep, totally, we got it no problem, got it.

Speaker 1: 50:09

Oh, my goodness.

Speaker 2: 50:10

I saw some great friends from that experience. Like I have a friend Stacy, a friend Michelle, I still talk to Casey.

Speaker 1: 50:19

I want to do an off episode on like jobs we have, Cause I've had some, I've got. I've had some weird ones, I've had some weird jobs. So I think we need to. I want to do that. Let's talk about leaders and then jobs. Can we do a teaser?

Speaker 2: 50:30

first, let's say one weird thing, and we won't talk about what the job is. I know what I'm going to say. I had a summer job. I had to wear wear steel-toed boots too.

Speaker 1: 50:41

Ooh.

Speaker 2: 50:43

Every summer.

Speaker 1: 50:45

I was called hot pants at one of my jobs.

Speaker 2: 50:53

It's because of your legs, though you have really hot legs.

Speaker 1: 50:56

I was like 16, so it was a little. So that's super inappropriate.

Speaker 2: 50:59

You're right, super inappropriate.

Speaker 1: 51:01

And when you find out what job it was, you will be like oh my God.

Speaker 2: 51:05

Is it with grown men? I'm going to die.

Speaker 1: 51:06

I'm not saying oh guys, well, we're so sorry that we lost our episode with our girls this week. We, I hate it. It was all my fault. Sorry, I, I hate it. It was all my fault. Sorry, I sounded like I was in the toilet.

Speaker 2: 51:21

I don't think it was your fault. These things happen, failure happens, mistakes happen it happens.

Speaker 1: 51:25

but that's just the epitome of being a mother, right? It's just like you know you try your best and then sometimes it just doesn't work out. But we love all of our moms, we love each other. We are so grateful for our children. And, yes, just happy Mother's Day to all of you.

Speaker 2: 51:43

Big cheers to not being so perfect. It's okay to make mistakes. It's okay to fumble the chicken. It's okay to burn the mac and cheese. You're a great mom and your kids probably think the world of you when you do it.

Speaker 1: 51:58

Things better. They love it. All right, guys, we will see you next week. Happy Mother's Day.

Speaker 2: 52:01

Cheers.