We’re on one this week - hope you’re ready for some major laughs and nonsense right out of the gate this morning! From our podcast “link” to shark week - we jump right into what it would take for the two of us to host a variety show and why your Instagram messages go unread for long periods of time.
Have you had a chance to watch “The Idea Of You” yet on Amazon Prime? (PS you’ve got a chance to win the book!). Don’t get us started how different a movie adaptation from a book, and this one was a tough one for us but it also got us started on some of our more recent reads and in typical mayhem fashion, we take a left-hand turn to talk about sports and spicy books.
What does it mean to end your “no” journey - and start your “yes” journey? We unpack this idea of how isolating “no” can be - and how it really represents the need for protection and boundaries.
This last year has represented a lot of change and a lot of growth for both of us, but it really comes down to the conversation of saying yes, and how many more doors and opportunities open as you start to embrace that philosophy, especially coming out of a healing journey or a space of deep growth. It’s sort of what came first, the chicken or the egg? Did we start saying yes and so bigger opportunities or did the opportunities come and we couldn’t risk it by saying no?
And as we close - we open up about our love for slow mornings, the “slug life” - because that’s where it’s at. For Mothers Day and let’s be honest … whenever we can take a second to hit pause on the pace we keep - we get deep about the gift that is time. That’s our favorite. Whether it’s with girlfriends or whoever saves you space when you need it, there’s something so special about the recognition and emotional connection that is time together.
Stand & Defend - holds a lot of heat and a few triggers so read the intro carefully please!
Yes - it’s Keon Coleman (not Campbell - sorry, these are unscripted and no one’s perfect). #billsmafia
Shoutout to BODEGA in Mount Pleasant, SC - we had the The Gropfather & The Shredded Cheese
For more mayhem, be sure to follow us:
Insta @marketingandmayhem
YouTube @MarketingMayhemPod
And don't forget to leave us a 5 star review! Or message us to deep dive into your topic or just give us feedback!
Hosted by @raebecca.miller and @jennyfromthe843
We’re on one this week - hope you’re ready for some major laughs and nonsense right out of the gate this morning! From our podcast “link” to shark week - we jump right into what it would take for the two of us to host a variety show and why your Instagram messages go unread for long periods of time.
Have you had a chance to watch “The Idea Of You” yet on Amazon Prime? (PS you’ve got a chance to win the book!). Don’t get us started how different a movie adaptation from a book, and this one was a tough one for us but it also got us started on some of our more recent reads and in typical mayhem fashion, we take a left-hand turn to talk about sports and spicy books.
What does it mean to end your “no” journey - and start your “yes” journey? We unpack this idea of how isolating “no” can be - and how it really represents the need for protection and boundaries.
This last year has represented a lot of change and a lot of growth for both of us, but it really comes down to the conversation of saying yes, and how many more doors and opportunities open as you start to embrace that philosophy, especially coming out of a healing journey or a space of deep growth. It’s sort of what came first, the chicken or the egg? Did we start saying yes and so bigger opportunities or did the opportunities come and we couldn’t risk it by saying no?
And as we close - we open up about our love for slow mornings, the “slug life” - because that’s where it’s at. For Mothers Day and let’s be honest … whenever we can take a second to hit pause on the pace we keep - we get deep about the gift that is time. That’s our favorite. Whether it’s with girlfriends or whoever saves you space when you need it, there’s something so special about the recognition and emotional connection that is time together.
Stand & Defend - holds a lot of heat and a few triggers so read the intro carefully please!
Yes - it’s Keon Coleman (not Campbell - sorry, these are unscripted and no one’s perfect). #billsmafia
Shoutout to BODEGA in Mount Pleasant, SC - we had the The Gropfather & The Shredded Cheese
For more mayhem, be sure to follow us:
Insta @marketingandmayhem
YouTube @MarketingMayhemPod
And don't forget to leave us a 5 star review! Or message us to deep dive into your topic or just give us feedback!
Hosted by @raebecca.miller and @jennyfromthe843
now, so we're going straight into it.
Speaker 2:I love that we like, don't even like we, we just get on these zooms and basically where we record is kind of Zoom and we're laughing as soon as we see each other.
Speaker 1:Like well, I just opened my email and I was like, oh, do we? It's Friday morning, like, do we have a link for the recording? And Jenny, finally apparently after we've been doing this since October, I can't even get this out tells me that it's the same link every time we record, and y'all I thought it was like Zoom, like you get a new one.
Speaker 1:I don't know why I've never told you this, when you say you right like here's the link for tonight's recording, and I'm like oh so I just assumed that there are these manufactured links every time like we have to ask permission again. I had no idea. So it's been like seven months and I'm just now telling you this every time and you give me the link every time, so it's like the first time, you're like it's the same link and I'm like motherfucker, here we are, folks, here we are, good morning.
Speaker 2:Good morning.
Speaker 1:So last episode was kind of chaotic but everybody loved it and in fact we had quite a few people say it was one of their favorites. So I think chaos and mayhem are where we live permanently.
Speaker 2:Yes, like that is us wholeheartedly A hundred percent. This is not a last minute episode, so that we we've gotten it together a little bit this week, a little bit.
Speaker 1:I don't think. I think the last minute thing played into our favor.
Speaker 2:I think so too, we just roll, we just. You know, we get on these things like we're busy, we're we're busy and we're just like. Hey, I just got off a phone call, you got 30 minutes, let's talk.
Speaker 1:I think this is our best case scenario. Okay, so how are you?
Speaker 2:I'm good, I'm good, coming off of my favorite week, one of my favorite most chaotic weeks of the year Teacher Appreciation Week.
Speaker 1:Oh, I thought you were going to say shark week. I was like are you being facetious?
Speaker 2:Shark week, like when they when you watch, like shark shows, when you hit your period?
Speaker 1:Oh no, I would never. I'm coming off my favorite week. I was like what is happening right now? Is she being funny?
Speaker 2:No, I was not being funny at all. I thought you were being sarcastic, this has been an intense week.
Speaker 1:Not yet, not yet Okay. So teach your appreciation, yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, because you know I love doing gifts and so I love feeding people, so it's been great, and I love making people feel loved and appreciated, so it's been a fun week.
Speaker 1:It and appreciated, so it's been a fun week. It's just it's busy, but when you have a long night tonight.
Speaker 2:right, you have like a performance? Well, I do not have a performance. I will be on stage at 7pm. No, I'm just kidding. Yeah, clark has a talent variety show thing for school, so I'm not going to be done with that till I don't know. 9, 9.30.
Speaker 1:I think we should do a variety show. What would your talent be? I think I would be the variety.
Speaker 2:I think I would do.
Speaker 1:Obviously not singing.
Speaker 2:I was about to say Summit has already established that you will not be singing.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I can actually sing. I don't know if you can I mean?
Speaker 2:she came up with that answer real fast.
Speaker 1:I'm going to ask my friend Summer because I sing all the time with my friend Summer Like we're notorious for going down a rabbit hole with like wine and 90s country and I think she'll. I feel like we're of the same caliber of singer.
Speaker 2:maybe that's what it is I think I'm good when I'm in the car by myself but, absolutely all right. So I got a question for you. You, yeah, um, okay, we always talk about spicy books. Yes, have you watched the Idea of you yet on Amazon?
Speaker 1:I did. Do you know? I was going to take myself to the theater and my friend Crystal was like do you know? That's on Amazon. I had no idea. You know I just miss these things. I know you really do. I really do. I like I think sometimes people think I'm being dismissive, but I actually, first of all, I'm coming out of something kind of wild. Second of all, I just kind of like take care of myself. Like I think about other people. I'm a really generous person in that mindset, but like I do miss things like that all the time.
Speaker 2:Well, it's crazy to me that you've missed it. I got to unplug this motion thing. Give me one second. Somebody's riding a horse next door to my house and it's going off and it's driving me crazy.
Speaker 1:Oh, I thought you said emotion. You can go do that. I thought you said emotion, not motion. I was like ew, we're going to talk about our emotions. It's Friday morning. I'm only on like cup six of coffee. I don't know if I want to talk about my emotions yet, but all right, that's a hard pass for me.
Speaker 2:Thank you, thank God, this is what I love about you. Okay, I turned it off, we're good. Okay, so well. I guess it shocks me, because you're on social media so much. I'm like, how do you not see this stuff? But if it's not part of your algorithm, then I guess you don't.
Speaker 1:I. So I want to talk about this really quick because I have like 27 messages right now on my Instagram and look at your face.
Speaker 2:Oh my gosh 14 text messages too Well probably 26 of the things on Instagram are from me and probably 12 of your text messages.
Speaker 1:It's worse than that. So the 26 is the amount of people. It's not how many messages you've each sent me either. So I want to talk about this really quick, because I feel like sometimes people think that I'm being rude or maybe that I'm stupid. I have no idea. But sometimes when I'm on Instagram, I'm just working, and if I let myself out of the gates and I start going to my DMs once I start, then I have to finish it. If this makes sense, it does Okay. So if I open the rabbit hole I don't like pick and choose favorites, sometimes I do- Come on, I mean, I know I'm at least.
Speaker 1:I mean I know I answer you like always, and there's definitely other texts I'm missing, but I just sometimes I'm there working, so like I have had people say like, oh, is that you right now on Mayhem, or is that you right now on some of our other social medias that we run? And I'm like, yes, but that doesn't mean that I'm ignoring you or I'm being rude. I get very distracted very easily so I have to compartmentalize when I'm doing things.
Speaker 2:Wait, people, like they ask you, like they're like I can see you.
Speaker 1:Yes, because some of our accounts that we run, you can actually see when the person is like I turned that off on all of mine so maybe we should just turn it off on all of ours. Yeah, which we can definitely do, we just haven't. Okay, we need to do that, okay.
Speaker 2:Because I don't like that, like, I don't like. I don't like people like hiding in the Instagram, bush, and like popping out and be like I see you.
Speaker 1:Well'll see me post to a story. But here's the other thing. My content is like I have an audience, which is a weird and stupid thing to say, but it's true, and if I find something amusing I share it. But that still doesn't mean that I'm DM ready. I'm just keeping my feed live with funny stuff, okay, do you know what I mean? That's like work still Right. Okay, because if I just let it go blackout for like three days because I'm too busy doing other stuff, then like eh, that's probably not great. I totally do that.
Speaker 1:Oh my gosh, I love to go off the radar. No, no, I know you do. This is, and that's perfect, like it's a good balance. Speaking of feeds, sharing things, something amazing happened this morning. Do you want to share it or do you want me to you should? Oh my gosh, what happened? Our notification that we jinxed each other out and that we got like, oh, you share no?
Speaker 2:Oh y'all, we hit a thousand downloads this morning. I'm really upset that we can't toast with the Vov right now.
Speaker 1:I know we should. Can we plan like a? Do you want to go out tonight?
Speaker 2:We've got. I've got the variety show. Oh, I'm sorry, Gosh, you know my brain is like your brain is, but I will say we do need to start planning our season finale because that episode is going to drop like june 20th. Look at me so proactive on my calendar you really are you know, I got the new calendar.
Speaker 1:what I've been doing a lot better have you. Are you still using your new agenda? Yeah, no, I. You know how I am Like, once I get burnt out by one agenda, then I just can't use it. And I was going through a lot in January. So I just remember I told you I like closed my agenda and I just raw dog the whole month. I was like, well, if I remembered, I remember it, it went decent but it was very stressful.
Speaker 2:I think that begs a great question. So, as we are in 2024, I love that Rebecca and I are still paper agenda people, hardcore, hardcore. You will never take that away from me. Nope, I think it is for me. I get such a rush checking something off my list, like I, I love writing it. I love different color pens. Oh my God, me too. I got such a good pen in the week.
Speaker 1:Yes, we share a love for the same kind of pens.
Speaker 2:Oh my God, I love a thin tip. Jill Love a thin tip. Shout out to Jenny you get that thin tip. I like that thin tip, pin and gear ultra fine.
Speaker 1:Yep.
Speaker 2:Send us a discount code. Come on, guys, you got the good pins, but like we.
Speaker 1:I really do wholeheartedly believe. First of all, I think the action of writing something down for me. I'm very visual, so it locks it into my memory for sure, 100% me too. It's one of the reasons I can only do our kind of agenda, so I have to have it go week by week or I get too overwhelmed, Same I cannot do monthly.
Speaker 2:I'm like nope, I can't do it Same.
Speaker 1:Absolute cardiac episode. Just shut down immediately, immediately. I can't stand a digital calendar. I will put things on it like I let you know, like my doctor will text me something, or for work. Sometimes I'll use it, but I hate it I hate it too.
Speaker 2:I love that we're like that, so I would love to know from our listeners. We'll have to do a poll, yeah, because I want to know. Are you a paper agenda or you?
Speaker 1:oh my gosh, it's your calendar what let's, because we just hit a thousand and this is so dorky. But like, wouldn't it be so fun to like do an agenda giveaway, because don't they usually start in june? Let's give a listener, like our favorite agenda idea how fun, right?
Speaker 2:and then we'll go through and we'll write every thursday in there that a new episode is dropping. Should we put like little surprises in it? Oh my gosh, I'm here for it.
Speaker 1:Like pour a glass of wine, oh my gosh, it's 7 pm. We should take turns. Okay cool, We'll put like little quotes in it. We'll like put little surprises. We're giving away an agenda.
Speaker 2:Okay, we'll put little surprises. We're giving away an agenda. Okay, I'm excited. I need to bring this conversation back. I need to know. So you watched it. Yeah, I did. Okay, and I loved it.
Speaker 1:Did you. But, jenny, let's talk.
Speaker 2:Hang on real quick. Top three things you loved about it. Wait right, Just hang on Real quick. Top three things you loved about it. Wait, I need to tell you something first. Oh God, here we go.
Speaker 1:I didn't finish the book yet.
Speaker 2:Are you joking, becca? Come on, man. You've had like months. I know, I know I cannot, I can't with her guys. I just can't. How are we friends?
Speaker 1:sometimes I don't understand, because we are like the yin and the yang, we're like very different perspectives about this stuff, and you know, perspective is my favorite thing, but how?
Speaker 2:do you not just get sucked in? That story is like how do you not see it through?
Speaker 1:I'm so confused. I just think I got so excited for the movie and I knew that if I read the book I wouldn't love the movie.
Speaker 2:You wouldn't love the movie because I was pissed that it wasn't like the book.
Speaker 1:Okay, the girls, definitely the kid. I was a little shook by the old. Yeah, I was at summer camp and everything else. She's like 20 years old. I'm so confused. I know I was not happy To be at summer camp and everything else.
Speaker 2:That was all weird. Why is she like 20 years old? I'm so confused.
Speaker 1:I know she was very old and she was definitely at summer camp and then she wasn't still obsessed with him anymore, which is like was sad, I know.
Speaker 2:I just the whole thing. I imagined it to be like, however old she was in the book, like 13, 14, like, braces, you know where you're just like just now, coming to your little pretty self. Yeah, I was just so bummed about that and, oh my god, don't even get me started on the sex scenes, oh or like thereof. I know what we got like one fingering oh my god, I mean sorry mom.
Speaker 2:Sorry mom, but it happens. But I was pissed, I was not happy. I was not happy with the daughter. I was not happy when they clean out the fridge. I almost turned the tv off. I am not kidding, I'm like I fucking clean out the fridge with my husband I did it always by myself.
Speaker 2:Oh, I am not. That is not surprising. I am not trying to get get my kicks by watching people clean out a fridge. I can do that shit at home with my own husband. I need the spice, I need the hot stuff.
Speaker 1:I don't think you can get it like you could in the book, though I need the dining room table scene. I am very it happened one summer, page one 64. You told me it happened one summer. Hot damn, what is happening.
Speaker 2:I know, I'm just so pissed. I did not love it in Hathaway's a doll.
Speaker 1:She looked amazing, the fashion was amazing, but God, that scene at the kitchen table, though, Can I tell you I so. I just read one last week called Stand and Defend. I saw it from a reel. It was like what's one book that haunts you to this day, and I was like I'm reading that immediately.
Speaker 2:Is it a spicy book?
Speaker 1:Because Stand and Defend sounds like a Liam Neeson movie. It's definitely hockey. You know how I am about the hockey players. What is the deal with the hockey? I love the sports, I just love the boys. I don't know. So it could be anything. It could be football, it could be baseball, it could be. I just like it. I don't know why. Maybe it's just my era.
Speaker 2:Well, you're sporty.
Speaker 1:You why? Maybe it's just my era. Well, you're sporty, you're sporty spice, and I just like, I don't know, yeah, like a big boy. But in the meantime, the scenes from that this is no slow burn. So if you're a slow burn girl, if you like a lot of suspense and like they've barely touched by 70% down on your Kindle, do not read. Stand and defend. If you want the heat like if you're feeling like it's mother's day weekend, bring the heat over and over. Stand and defend is your book.
Speaker 1:Okay, good to know We'll have to, we'll have to.
Speaker 2:I'll do that next. I still got to do the takeover.
Speaker 1:I'm doing that one next it is so stand and defend. I was just going to hate me for this, but it's book number four in a series and I did start with it. I don't know how the other ones are. I did it off of a reel so I didn't realize it was number four. But today I went to see if there were more and then I realized when I was downloading book number three that I was going to have to go in reverse.
Speaker 2:This makes my eye twitch Like I don't know how you do that. I don't know how you start at the end of people's podcasts. I don't know how you. I just don't understand. I don't know how you finish the idea of you. I'm not impressed with any of this.
Speaker 1:Okay, so what else do you have going on? Talk to me. You know, I think that we are.
Speaker 2:I'm not impressed with all any of this. Okay, so what else do you have going on? Talk to me, um, you know, I think that we are just in a busy time of year, which I think is fine.
Speaker 1:I saw a meme this morning that was like I vote that we change mother's day because the fact that you shoved it into the month that is the last month of school has another holiday, because we have a holiday at the end of the month, has teacher appreciation, and then dads get the day that's in June, when school is done, the sun is out, it's always beautiful. They have zero responsibility and I'm like. I feel this in my soul.
Speaker 2:I agree, I actually would love to have a fall Mother's Day. Yo, I love fall. Fall's my fave. I think all of my favorite things are in fall. So if I had to, change it that.
Speaker 1:That's the day that I would change it to. I love fall. I'm like here for it. We should do some fall activities.
Speaker 2:Okay, well, let me just stop you right there, because I feel like fall activities in Charleston, so we always do the flipping pumpkin patch.
Speaker 1:No, we do too. I meant like we should leave Charleston. Okay, I feel like you know we have the like Clark and I, we get the like these cute matching pumpkin shirts.
Speaker 2:And it's like, oh, we go. And I, we get these cute matching pumpkin shirts. And it's like, oh, we go.
Speaker 2:And I wear jeans and it's like oh, let's go pick a pumpkin and take some pictures. Oh my God, I was melting last year, clark and I our hair was wet and stuck to the sides of our face and we pick these pumpkins and Clark's like I don't want to do this again, I'm like this is terrible and it's like a patch, so it's like dirty, so you're like sweating and dirt stuck to you and then you got to feed the goats.
Speaker 1:Do you know that? Cause we would have the same pumpkin patch. I have a story about that in a second, but go ahead. So the petting animal zoo. One year before Summit was born, we took Pilot and that freaking pot-bellied pig the one that's named Cinderella grabbed a hold of two of her fingers and she bit her. It was awful, the trauma level. Matt was so mad at me I was like the dang pig's name so they gave her a free pony ride because Cinderella bit her.
Speaker 2:I mean I think I'd be asking for more than a pony ride. So fun fact about me Every time we go to these events with the petting zoo, I always take a selfie with the camel, Because I like to post it on Wednesday and say guess what?
Speaker 1:You did it last week, Can you start doing it to me?
Speaker 2:I do. So there's this camel who's at every. I'm afraid I'm going to be spit on. Oh, I don't even care, so like, but this, oh I care.
Speaker 2:I take a selfie with this camel every year. Like, seriously, y'all, it's either me, it's me and the camel, me and Clark and the camel, but I always take a selfie with this camel. I mean, this has gone on like I think I have four or five pictures of me with this camel. Can you post them all? Next Wednesday? I will, but this year so I had the cup of carrots in my hand, so he like rested his camel head on my shoulder and like Clark's smiling and I'm smiling and y'all, this was my top camel picture of the year.
Speaker 2:It's what you changed your thing to on my profile picture on my phone, so when, like if I call you and it pops up, how proud you are in this photo.
Speaker 2:you've got to share this. I'm so proud of the and if you've noticed on my new, when I call you Rebecca, my background's pink, and so I called Nate and he texted me. He said I love the pink that comes up when you call. It's very, very on brand. I'm like honey, it's a vibe, it is the brand. It is the brand. And I'm actually guess what's in my cart right now? I need a new suitcase. Guess what color it is?
Speaker 1:Oh, I actually do too. Are you getting a hard?
Speaker 2:That sounded dirty, but yes, I am getting a hard. Can you send me what you're getting? Yeah, it's a belt for on sale, for like 60 bucks.
Speaker 1:Send me what you're getting, because I have a hard side suitcase. Sorry, I have a hard on in my cart right now on Amazon and I got a new weekender bag that's baby pink. This is like our pink. Yeah, no, I figured. That's why I'm like I like the you know, I'm big into the monochromatic Like.
Speaker 1:I have so many different pinks I have an. My agenda was the closest I could get to our pink, but then my new notebook is the light pink Cause it's all they had, so now I'm just like pink explosion everywhere. My freaking wallpaper is pink.
Speaker 2:I love it. Your wallpaper looks so good.
Speaker 1:But what else do you have going on? Oh my gosh, I don't think much. We had a couple meetings together this week. I had that. I should talk about that, can we? Okay? Well, so first that sandwich at Bodega I have decided is actually an adult Big Mac. I keep thinking about it because I took that picture and there's a sauce at the bottom that was giving me Big Mac vibes. And then something about that sandwich it was the shredded beef or something that gave me major adult Big Mac vibes at Bodega. I was into it, it healed me.
Speaker 2:It was a good sandwich. I had the chicken. What was the one? I had the chicken, the glob father. The glob father. It was pretty darn good, it was really good. Yeah, we will. We will be back. They have a solid breakfast menu too.
Speaker 1:No, they do, and I didn't realize it was so breakfast focused. Like when we pulled up we were like we hadn't eaten. It was two o'clock in the afternoon. We were dying. I am like trying to eat more beef because I have this like vitamin B problem.
Speaker 2:It's really more like a vitamin D problem, but it's the vitamin D problem Seriously. That's why you're reading Stand to Defend and carry around your big pink curler. It's because I don't know how to grill and I have all my big pink curler. Oh my God, that's our next meal. Rebecca and I I've made this pact that I'm going to come over and I'm going to make her a steak and I know how to make a really good skillet steak. So that's our next dinner.
Speaker 1:That freaking pink wand, though I almost I like, I'll never get over it. The embarrassment I'm probably on somebody else's social media. They I'm probably on somebody else's social media.
Speaker 2:They're like look at this freaking single ass chick just walking around with a giant.
Speaker 1:But who cares? Like who cares. If you see me, though, on somebody else's reel, I would like you to send it to me.
Speaker 2:Oh, a hundred percent I would. I would definitely laugh at it too.
Speaker 1:One of our listeners when I shared the story about me going over.
Speaker 2:Apparently it's called a silt fence, the black fence. That I yeah.
Speaker 1:They were like so they were like the silt fence that you went over. I hope that somebody recorded that and we find you down the road on somebody else's reel. And then it got in my head and I started thinking really hard about that.
Speaker 2:I would love that. I would love to see any of my friends in like an unassuming reel that they didn't know about, right, so let's talk about our meeting. So we yeah, long story short someone close to me met someone who thought that they could, could help you know, we could do some business with, so they introduced me to this person, yes. So they were like oh, you know, you should get together with them. So I said great, we'll do it next week. So it was very like we sent an email, set up a meeting within a matter of days, and so it got me thinking about the importance of like seizing the moment, because I feel like, if he said that, made that introduction, if I would have been like oh yeah, let's compare calendars, let's see how your next few weeks looks like. I feel like that's when things kind of fall by the wayside, but if you just grab it by the balls and like, hey, let's meet next week, how does Thursday sound? So like?
Speaker 2:I feel like I'm in my seize the moment era. We know that I have been presented with like a very unique, spontaneous adventure in the next couple of weeks Found out on a. I got asked to go to Italy on like a Tuesday and I couldn't go because I didn't have my passport. And then my passport came Friday, and so I'm leaving for Italy in like two weeks, very unexpectedly, and my type A self does not do that. I love it, like I love it. I'm not going with my husband, I'm not going with my kid, nope.
Speaker 1:Nope.
Speaker 2:But you know, I just keep you know. We know that faith is my word this year, like I. It's just these God moves. He's just putting all these things in front of me and I'm just like, I'm going for it, like Yola.
Speaker 1:Well, it's a girl's trip too, right? Yes, with like all these women that I don't know, I know, but so I, so we're I'm really into we talked about this a few episodes ago but I'm really into this whole like making more time for your girlfriends thing in general, even if it's not people you know so like, because what did we talk about this? I think we talked about it in the spirit of longevity, like there's something about cultures where women actively get together and they like tackle normal cultural problems. We're not talking politics, we're talking about like school lunches and whatever, husbands and feelings and whatever, and so I think we're both actively putting ourselves in more spaces than we have in the past. I don't know if it's because the girls are a little bit older or because they are girls, so we're seeing the school stuff and so we're like how do we?
Speaker 1:For me, there's a lot of pressure to show them really appropriate behavior, but then also to invest in myself. So I can't sit here and say I would never let my friend treat me like that, or this is what you should look like when you look for friends, if I'm not showing my girls that I'm also spending time with my girlfriends and I feel like also there was this thing, like a year ago or two years ago, where everyone kind of encouraged you to close your circle a little bit, and I'm very anti that, even though I probably played into it at the time, I was like you need to save space for yourself, you need to say no to more things. Basically, it's like this self-imposed isolation. And now I'm like kick the door open, shania Twain Like if I even think that we have the tiniest bit of friend chemistry, I'm going for it. I had a girl's night last night and it was like two people couldn't come.
Speaker 1:It ended up just being three and it was like one of those we just talked about. All kinds of things that could be from like, you know, IEPs to like, like hard stuff, or like relationships, or even like what happened in my divorce. Or it could be like we have this friend who's doing a different kind of therapy not hormone therapy, but it's essentially like assessing genetics and then, even as your kids are young, putting things in play. That kind of help reset some of these genetic imbalances that maybe cause like ADHD or whatever it is. It just makes my mind wander Because at the same time, we're drinking like Frose with a limoncello topper and we're also just having a million laughs. It's deep, but it's not, and I feel like it's something that only women can do. I don't know Like it, just everything doesn't have to be so big or so small that we do or don't give it time. I love it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, no, I love that too. I think when we talk about closing our circle, at least for me, the way I interpret that is closing your circle to circles that no longer serve you. Like that's how I interpret that. I feel like I've definitely been part of groups where it's like, oh, let's go out and everybody just talks about husbands, they just talk about kids, Just talk about, just talks about husbands, they just talk about kids, just talk about. And it's just like you know, for me, I mean, those are things that I do, but that's not who I am, Right. I mean I think that you know having conversations about, you know all different kinds of topics. Like, yeah, you hit on those things, but it's like, yeah, I mean that's my day to day, but like, you know, what are you really thinking, what are you really doing? Like, what books are you reading? Like, again, I'm a deep conversational person anyway. So that to me is like when you're in those circles, that you just feel like they no longer serve you.
Speaker 1:Yeah, or you certainly. One thing I definitely stay away from and this actually happened in one of the meetings we were in this week but I also don't like when I want people to talk about themselves and I don't want them to talk about other people.
Speaker 1:So like even when I like my example, I'll share. Mine is like even when I talk about the divorce because it comes up, because people are curious about it and I don't mind. But like I talk about my part of the journey. So like how I grew, or my time with Izzy, or like maybe how hard the decision was, but I don't share. Like whatever I just talk about, like how it changed me or how I grew and like some of these things for sure. Like I just when I'm in a room where people feel the need to show their expertise by dogging someone, that for me is like where I'm like they're definitely going to do this to me when I'm not here for sure.
Speaker 2:I feel the same way about friends, though, like I'm super, what I mean? I'm like I, it gives me the x. I don't like being a part of it because you know again, yep, like you say, as soon as you walk out the door they're doing the same thing to you. Yeah, that's all they're doing. It just gives gives me the icks and I'm like I just can we not talk about something more interesting, like well, and so one of the things that came up is, like all the other two women also um, work.
Speaker 1:So and I'm not saying I can't find similar things with women who don't work, I have tons of friends who don't work but there's something about understanding the balance that it takes and even how important the time is. If somebody made that time for you that night, you know what I mean. Yeah, have a deeper mutual respect, I think in some ways, because you're like this is special, whatever it is. I mean, I didn't get to do much stuff like that in the past. And now I'm like, okay, was I isolating? Was it them? Was it them? Was it my circle? I just I don't know. Now I'm just like Come in.
Speaker 2:No, I love that. I didn't Again. I just the season, the moment thing, like I definitely feel like you're in the season, the moment era too, which I just I love it. I mean, I think that saying yes to so many things, I don't know I just I feel like the past. I, you know, it's like the past seven to eight months. I feel like I've just been doing that and I'm saying yes to all these things that terrify me to the core and they have ended up being the most fun relationships. The most fun is a podcast that's got freaking, a thousand downloads. A trip to Italy, I don't know, a sweet little rescue dog that's upstairs playing with my kids I know, I was just going to say All these things.
Speaker 2:It's just I don't know. It's just, it's so crazy to me.
Speaker 1:So I wrote this thing on Instagram a few weeks ago and my aunt actually messaged me about it the other day and it was about saying yes and saying no, and I specifically said because I hadn't thought about it, but I want to say it here too that in the past, like no for me is about protection, so I used no more when I needed to protect myself. And I feel like now we've changed the energy around us, we've grown a lot and the things that are coming our way are, yes, things because of where we're headed, and they're not no things anymore and it becomes a little bit safer to say yes, I don't know if that's like how we manifested it, or if it's just like do you know what I mean?
Speaker 1:Like if it's what we're putting out there, or if it's like the people we're surrounding ourselves with, or just how we've grown. I have never grown so much in a year, and I'm just going to make a giant blanket statement. I just have grown the shit out of myself for the last 12 months, you really have.
Speaker 2:I mean even just 12 months. Yeah, I mean honestly Becca, just since October. I mean just kind of since I've been along the journey. It's so crazy to me, but honestly I have too.
Speaker 1:No, that's what I'm saying. We have, we have. I think that when you start pushing your energy in that direction forward instead of reverse, when you start pushing your energy in that direction forward instead of reverse, and yes instead of no, the right things tend. And certainly some things have been really crazy, but I don't think they were the no kind of crazy. I don't think we accidentally said yes, I think they were doors we had to pass through so we could get to the bigger yes and the bigger yes.
Speaker 2:I agree, I agree wholeheartedly. Yeah, it's been, it's been wild, but it's been so fun and I'm having fun, and I mean it's definitely not easy. I mean I have days. I mean listen, oh, it's crippling some days, let's be honest Some days I'm like oh my gosh, I cannot handle one more freaking thing. And I have to like literally tell myself like you are not in physical danger, are just overwhelmed, you are just stressed. But I never would have done that a year ago. I would have like let it consume me, like let it bog me down. And now I'm like okay, like it has a name and it's just like overwhelmed, like it's all good, you are not doing anything that important, like it's fine, you're gonna be fine, it it is, and like no, I know, I know, I think like you.
Speaker 1:you have this like side raccoon who's like. I had no idea this was happening. I mean, sometimes I just look at you and I'm like, wow, I did not see that coming. Which is funny because I'm like a super intuitive person. I think I am, yeah, and I have a very good sense about people. But there are definitely moments where I'm like, oh shoot, dude, I miss that, Oops, Oops.
Speaker 1:Could be anything Could be anything. I'm excited for Italy, though I'm excited for it to be with a bunch of girls. I think you're going to have such a good time.
Speaker 2:I'm so excited. I'm excited for Italy, though I'm excited for it to be with a bunch of girls. I think you're going to have such a good time. I'm so excited. I've never done anything. I've never, I mean, like I've done like Caribbean. So this is, do you?
Speaker 1:feel like you're leaving me alone with the baby.
Speaker 2:A little bit. Yeah, I'm like what's Rebecca going to do? It's only eight days.
Speaker 1:It's okay, guys, I'll be fine, it'll be just fine, but yeah, no, I'm excited. I think I see a lot more trips in our future.
Speaker 2:we're actually planning a trip together we are hey, this is dude, you can tiptoe in, you're fine, you're walking like a Yeti.
Speaker 1:But like I just think I see more, more.
Speaker 2:Yes, whether it's froze or a trip to Florida or I don't know, All the things, all the things I would like to encourage you to do is to do more.
Speaker 1:Finishing of books. I don't know if I'm going to be able to do it, though now I've seen the movie Alright well, I need a tiny bit more free time, but I just don't know if I see that happening either.
Speaker 2:No, I don't either, and it's. I can't even with it. I can't even with it.
Speaker 1:What are y'all doing for Mother's Day?
Speaker 2:Nothing. I don't want to do anything I know me either.
Speaker 1:That's why I was like we should do a little thing on the mayhem about a bunch of books like book recommendations, and just tell the moms to get a beach chair and just like, take the day I love that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, no, we um. Well. So, truth be told, I have to share mother's day with my husband, um, because it's his birthday I, so I have nate's birthday on my calendar yeah, so I'll have morning and I told him he could have evening. So I like breakfast at home and I like mornings in my jamies, so like that's really that's what I want to do, like I don't.
Speaker 1:I love a slow morning I love.
Speaker 2:I love a slow day, a slow morning. I know it.
Speaker 1:It's so good, it's all right.
Speaker 2:Clark Gremlin noise is back here.
Speaker 1:I can't hear, but I love it. There's nothing that's more like I feel like that's real luxury. It's like time being able to slow down, kind of being able to look like a little hood rat in my pajamas.
Speaker 2:So, nate, one year I don't know if it was for Christmas or for Mother's day he bought me this sweatshirt that said slug life and it has like a slug and it's like a really pretty like royal blue. And so I love like throwing on my slug life hoodie and some shorts and a messy bun and like having my coke zero and eating some Eggs Benedict for breakfast, because that's like my Mother's Day breakfast. That's what I always ask for. I love Eggs Benedict Me too. It's like my jam.
Speaker 1:I'm a big fan. I think I need to find, like you know what I'm going to steal one. I need a big, big hoodie.
Speaker 2:You do. I might actually get you the Slug Life one, because it's pretty good.
Speaker 1:I feel like you could wear it well. I feel like I need a stand and defend hoodie.
Speaker 2:I feel like that sounds really aggressive and I don't think we should be rocking no, like a hockey hoodie.
Speaker 1:Like I need some kind of like sports, not like an actual from the book. Like some kind of like I don't do you know. Like a like, what do I get? Um, maybe I'll just get like a kian campbell, like, uh, the new guy from the bills. I'm obsessed with him and his vibe. Maybe I'll get his number on like a hoodie or something okay, there you go.
Speaker 1:Happy mother's day, that's your gift oh, I bought myself a mother's day gift. Actually did you, would you buy yourself? So yesterday, after left you, I had to go to Skatel's. Shout out to Skatel's. Love them. For what? Because I had to get my. I have two rings that I got when I had the girls, and so one is a pilot ring, one is a summit ring, and they were part of a stack but they went on my ring finger, which obviously I don't wear rings on right now. So I had to get them resized because your ring finger is your smallest finger, because you've basically been wearing it for like a million years. That's what they told me at Skatels Interesting Fun fact. Yes, I was like why are none of my fingers as small? She's like you've probably had this thing on for like 14 years, which is true, and it's going to be a different size than the rest of your body Do you wear your wedding band every day Now, no, back then.
Speaker 1:Yeah, always.
Speaker 2:I never wear mine.
Speaker 1:Oh, I always wear my rings, so, but I love, you know, I like, love jewelry.
Speaker 2:So this is a new track at all.
Speaker 1:Um, but so then I got them back and there's just two, because the stack had other rings in it and I was like this is weird. The lady also had a hard time finding it. So I started looking around at the cases and I got a third ring. I will send you a picture.
Speaker 2:I know I'm obsessed with it.
Speaker 1:It was a total, like you probably. Oh, you can see it, it's the one with the train. It's the one on the bottom. Oh, you can see it, it's the one with the citrine. It's the one on the bottom. Oh, I love it. So the art Deco one is summits, the rose gold, this pilots, this one caught my eye right away in the case. Citrine is my mom's birthstone. So I was like, oh well, now my stack is my girls, my mom and my daughters. So I was like you know, it's too good of a sign. It plays back into what you were saying about the yes thing. I said to the jeweler.
Speaker 1:I was like is that citrine? And she said yes, it's the November birthstone. Were you born in November? And I was like nope, but I love somebody who was, I will take it. Oh, I love that. And I said what size is it? She was like that's really beautiful. And then I text my mom and I was like I made an impulse purchase. And she was like I hope it's jewelry and I was like I am your daughter.
Speaker 2:Oh, that's cute, I love that.
Speaker 1:So I fixed my stack a few days before Mother's Day with a ring with my mom's birthday and I'm obsessed with it right now. It's really pretty. You need to post a picture of it. It's really pretty. Thanks, it's bringing me a lot of joy.
Speaker 2:Well, that's what it's about. Yes to the joy and seizing the moment. All right guys.
Speaker 1:Who knew that, who knew I?
Speaker 2:mean, I definitely have never been a yes girl, Well, maybe at one point in my life. But you might be yeah at one point in my life, but that's what I was yelling for you might be All right, guys. Thanks so much for tuning in. Thank you for 1,000 downloads. That is bananas. We are so thankful for all of you and look forward to seeing you next week.
Speaker 1:See you next time.