Nostalgia, July 4th & Romanticizing Your Life

HAPPY 4TH of JULY! The intro you don’t know you needed - from singing to considering voice lessons and the idea that “people will do anything for money”. 

Ever wondered if your perfectionist tendencies are a product of your genes, or just a learned behavior? Join us as we unpack the fascinating world of nostalgia, performance anxiety, and the pressures of perfectionism, all from Jenny’s husband’s childhood bedroom filled with old trophies and memories. 

Did you know anxiety is genetic? Join us as we consider whether or not that’s why we survived evolution - our ability to please and our ability to be strong contributors.

Don’t miss our take on "Inside Out 2" and how it introduces new emotional dimensions that resonate with kids. As the universe feeds us repetitive themes - nostalgia - anxiety - and romance - we hit pause and unpack each one because nothing is by accident. And if the universe is trying to get our attention, we’re determined to pause and to listen. And somehow - in typical mayhem fashion - we discuss the unique roles we see one another in … 1776. From butter churning to chopping wood and fixing wagons - we take you on a left hand turn, back to “not history” class.

As we navigate through the complexities of personal boundaries in relationships, our discussion becomes a heartfelt reflection on how to maintain friendships while protecting our peace. From a friend feeling excluded to balancing alone time, we share real-life experiences that highlight the importance of setting and respecting boundaries. And we discuss peace - and romance. The simple romance - or the “glimmer” as we later heard it referred to - of finding gratitude in the simplest of things. 

Emphasizing the value of self-worth and platonic love, (yes - the kind we don’t talk about enough - the love we learned from our girlfriends) - we reflect on the journey of moving past the need for validation and embracing those who uplift us. Tune in for a mix of thoughtful reflection, humor, and heartfelt moments as we explore what makes summer and life so sweet.

Happy 4th to you and yours ! 
- Jenny & Raebecca 

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Hosted by @raebecca.miller and @jennyfromthe843

Transcript

Speaker 2: 0:15

we did sing in last episode. Did you have any?

Speaker 1: 0:18

idea I was gonna do that. I didn't either. Just so you know. That was completely intrusive. I don't know what got into me.

Speaker 2: 0:25

I love the and you know I sang the Golden Girls theme song in our finale and Nate was like you actually didn't sound that bad. No, you didn't Do I need to pursue like a musical career. Like is this like a new thing?

Speaker 1: 0:39

He's like no, we should take voice lessons together. I would shit my pants if we took voice lessons together.

Speaker 2: 0:46

I feel fairly certain that no music teacher will touch us with a 10 foot pole Not true.

Speaker 1: 0:51

People will do anything for money. It's true, I think. How are you? I'm good. I haven't seen you in so long. I know I miss you. You're like on location somewhere exotic.

Speaker 2: 1:03

Greetings from my husband's childhood bedroom in Clearwater Florida. I've got all these little trophies surrounding me no, I see the trophies.

Speaker 1: 1:13

I'm like I love the nostalgia of this. This is so good yeah, yeah, so I'm.

Speaker 2: 1:18

I'm in Nate's um childhood bedroom. So, yeah, we're. We typically come to Florida for a couple of weeks in the summer, so Clark can have grandparent time, and so, yeah, you're there for the holiday, right Cause today, today is July 4th I live for it. It's in here sucking down Coke Zero and ready to celebrate America. You got me out of bed.

Speaker 1: 1:45

I got you out of bed. You know I was awake, I was just laying there. I've been so going at a speed that is like bananas and today was my first day to like hit pause and I like I just couldn't. I like, you know, I got to hit the pause. Are you finally done with swim? No, on the 7th I will be done. Okay, so you have like a week left. Yeah, but it's like, it's like the week. It's so intense, it's good stuff, but then we will be done and then we'll get into the next summer mode, which I would love to say is going to be more casual. But I have already said yes to like three things, so it's not looking very casual.

Speaker 1: 2:26

What did you do now? I thought you were like gonna be chill after swimming. Well then, summer. You know, summer was like oh, my friends, they have a family condo in lake norman. Like the person, not the season. Okay, the person. We have a family condo in lake norman and it's randomly open the week after the fourth. So she's like, you know, we should just take the girls, we can go to the american girl doll store and we can like do some fun stuff.

Speaker 2: 2:45

Right.

Speaker 1: 2:45

So I'm like well, I'm not going to say no to that because of the summer is really about them.

Speaker 2: 2:53

Yeah, for sure, yeah, listen, don't uh, don't uh.

Speaker 1: 2:56

And she like grew up there, so it's like her. She's like she has like a favorite restaurant and like a favorite ice cream spot and she's like let's just do nostalgia for the week. And I was like I love that you're taking me on a nostalgia journey with you.

Speaker 2: 3:09

I'm loving that we're keep using this word, because have you seen Inside Out 2 yet?

Speaker 1: 3:15

No, should I tonight Wait? I can't tonight, I could tomorrow.

Speaker 2: 3:19

You totally need to take the girl. So I took Clark about probably two weeks ago. Well, right, like literally the day after it came out and nostalgia is one of the emotions in the brain and she's dressed like a little granny. I didn't know nostalgia was an emotion. Well, she's not one of the like main ones, but she definitely like pops in a few times. But I like this idea. Yeah, clark like asked me after we left. She like so what age do I start getting that? And then I was like well, I don't know, probably till you get a little bit older. And then she said something like two days later she's like oh, do you remember when those were the good old days? I'm like there it is. That's the nostalgia coming through your little brain.

Speaker 2: 4:01

But it's such a good movie I cannot recommend it enough. Like anxiety is like one of the new emotions in riley's brain and I think it just really like opened up a really good conversation because we've you know clark's kind of dealt with some of that and I think it really speaks to like children so they can see what's going on in their little brains and that it's not necessarily a good thing. You shouldn't let that be there all the time. But it just, it, really just. It puts in a child's perspective of what anxiety looks like. So I cannot recommend the movie enough. It's so good.

Speaker 1: 4:36

So so two things. First of all, nostalgia is like actually a keyword for one of our accounts. We've been using a ton, so it's so interesting to so interesting to me. Like you know, I'm like half witch in some ways, but I just refuse to believe that the universe isn't like more, isn't bigger and more intertwined than some people like navigate it. So I just think it's so interesting that things keep repeating and I refuse to ignore when things are repetitive. So I'm like nostalgia, like why do we need to pay bigger attention to that? Like, I'm going to give that, I think, a little bit more time.

Speaker 1: 5:08

Yeah, I like the anxiety thing. So we just talked about that with Christina. Um, we have some of that going on in our house. Um, yep, same age as what you're dealing with at your house, and what we're dealing with is, um, you're dealing with at your house and what we're dealing with is, um, almost like performance anxiety, for lack of a better term but like this perfectionist behavior where, like, we want everything to be perfect, and so, of course, I'm like re-examining myself.

Speaker 2: 5:37

Yeah, um, but last, funny yo in our kids. It's like. It's like again. It really is like a mirror of self-reflection. It's like what have I done? Like have.

Speaker 1: 5:50

I taught you this, yes, well, and I'm like, have I mimicked this? Like, how did I bring this here? Like what am I responsible for? So last night was one of the trials, because obviously we don't record exactly in the fourth but Olympic trials for gymnastics, which my mom texts me, and we don't record exactly on the 4th but Olympic trials for gymnastics which my mom texts me. And we hadn't intended we were going to watch.

Speaker 1: 6:06

We have a new rom-com that we love, um, and I'm going to have to find the name of it, cause you know, I can't remember a freaking thing. To save my life, like my short-term memory is shot, which is funny Cause that's what this is about too. The movie is called anyone, but you, we love this, okay. So we were like, oh, we'll watch anyone, but you again, we just watched it the day prior. But my mom's like, oh, the trials are on, you should watch it.

Speaker 1: 6:30

And in the, what we're talking about in my house is specifically a gymnastics thing. So one of the girls shares this story of getting really nervous before and her coach was like listen, like you're a goldfish, you have a short-term memory. Forget all of that. You know what you're capable of. I know what you're capable of, because she made a mistake right before trials and so it got like in her head which is kind of what just happened here, in a non-Olympic trial sense, and I was like this is such good feedback for even adults Like one little mistake, even though it feels that big because of the stage you're about to walk on, is not representative of your actual capacity and I was like right, and I was like I had to take the moment where I was like I mean, if we can say that to Olympic athletes, I'm going to have to be repeat that to myself a few more times.

Speaker 2: 7:21

Oh, for sure, I feel like kind of as I've gone up, because I am a definite perfectionist.

Speaker 2: 7:27

yeah, I'm someone who's super hard on myself too, but I feel like I've tried to like adapt this like mentality of is this really going to matter in a year? Yeah, and I'm just like because, like not many things do I mean truly, they really, really don't. So so I'm trying to instill that in Clark. But let me tell you what my therapist said. So I had talked to her about this and actually had talked to kind of like a counselor who counsels children she's a child therapist and she was telling me fun fact that a lot of it is not learned behavior, a lot of it has to do with genetics. So it doesn't matter like how much, like, because I feel like I've gone almost overboard with clark, letting her know that she doesn't have to be a perfectionist and it's okay to make mistakes.

Speaker 2: 8:21

So I'm like holy day, like I really yeah really yeah, like I work, feel like I've worked really hard, so she doesn't have to feel that way. And she's still like this, like what am I doing wrong? And the girl was like a lot of it's genetic. She was like are you like this? And I was like yeah. She was like are your parents like this? And I was like yeah, she's like okay, some of it is just you have people pleasing genes. You have like you have genetics that just make you be hard on yourself, and I just found that really interesting.

Speaker 1: 8:50

I'd like to do a little more research about it, but I found it If you were to, without knowing what the history is, if you were to zoom out and be like, okay, well, this is what it took to be part of a village or a tribe. The people like you or I that were really concerned about other people's welfare and showing up as a good worker were the reason that, like tribes, like that sustained shit got done.

Speaker 2: 9:11

Is that what you're saying? It is, yeah, we're carrying them baskets on our head?

Speaker 1: 9:15

yeah, without thinking twice, because hard work doesn't scare us. So we were. It makes sense that in evolution that actually was a gene that survived.

Speaker 2: 9:25

I don't know.

Speaker 1: 9:26

I don't know the research, but I like to you know, I like to get a little wily about the universe and I think that might be so interesting and totally not what we were going to talk about.

Speaker 2: 9:35

But, again, most of our conversations are so organic but I mean, yeah, it's, it's super true. So, yeah, I found that, I found the issue. Well, I hate that they're going through that, but I mean I get it because they're your children and they want to be.

Speaker 1: 9:47

Well, and if it's going to show up, I'd rather it show up when it's here and like, not, I'd rather start talking about it now than high school or college. Like, sometimes I think about even those social media conversations and I'm like I don't want to rush their childhood because so that's not my point and I'm sure somebody may misconstrue that but if we can start having back to, like what Kirsten said, the little parts of the conversation now, and we can start building those foundational blocks piece by piece, I just feel so much better about that journey after having that conversation with her and if that's what we're doing, great, even though it stresses me out a little bit, yeah for sure, oh my gosh. And then, like, so we had Christina on and we were also talked about boundaries and I ran into this again with another friend I had a bound deal.

Speaker 1: 10:39

This is so crazy to me. What now? So I will give you the really zoomed out version. But this person is really upset that they weren't invited to fight night Like friendship ending upset. Seriously, no, I swear so and I'm not laughing at them, but I'm like okay. So I reached out to Christina and I send the text that I received. Oh my. God, you didn't send it to me. Well, I had to process it with my family therapist.

Speaker 2: 11:11

Well, what am I? Am I nothing?

Speaker 1: 11:13

to you. No, you know, I like I, you know I go in, so this is a two. This is a two part conversation. So she was I was like what is it me Like? What is?

Speaker 1: 11:22

She was like, first of all, people who have been in your life before you started learning this, especially when you were really deep and harmony was important to you and you weren't drawing any boundaries and you were very much disassociating in order to protect yourself. Those people are going to be the most shocked at what's happening right now. She's like new you. Yeah Well, she's like it's just the next step because it's not like permanent. So this is what she said for a second, probably three to six months, it's going to feel like for those people, like they're going to come up, you're going to keep meeting this Cause. I was like why do I have to keep learning this lesson? And she was like you're not, though. Those people are going to keep hitting the wall and it's going to feel really intense for you. But then you will come through with the people who understand that this is Rebecca, with a few boundaries, and maybe they won't feel as extreme in a year and maybe you won't be as extreme about them, but it's your first time saying it and sometimes when you say things the first time, you kind of yell them.

Speaker 1: 12:25

I was like okay. So it was like okay, I don't want to be in a situation where I'm like boundary, boundary, boundary, boundary. She was like you're fine, everything's fine. This person probably needed this and they haven't had it before. Again, nothing bad is happening here and I was like okay, but then I was like I'm doing this other thing that I think is really odd and I want you to talk to me about it. I have a hinge update. I haven't been using it and I haven't been. It's not because there's like a somebody I literally like my next thing has been like me in a not selfish way. Does this make sense? Like I was like enjoying talking to like different people and all of that, and now I feel like it feels a little bit claustrophobic, like noise, and I really just want to be by myself oh yeah, I.

Speaker 2: 13:23

I feel this within my soul. I was like this most of my dating life so this is like newer, so I'm just like.

Speaker 1: 13:30

So when I, every once in a while, log in out of habit and it's first of all red flag city, it's like just terrifying, it's so yeah, I mean some of the stuff you shared with me.

Speaker 2: 13:40

It's been like run for the hills he's got so maybe lotion on its skin in his basement, I mean maybe that's like part of it.

Speaker 1: 13:50

Every time I log in I'm like what in the world, ew? But like I had a friend the other day who was like oh, I have to go on a date, and I was like maybe I should ask him to bring a friend and I should bring you, and then that would make it safer for me, and I was like I'm not interested.

Speaker 2: 14:06

Oh yeah, no it's a hard pass. I feel like I was like this, you know, back in my younger days, when I was dating, I feel like I definitely went through the period where it was like I loved having. I mean, honestly, it was the attention. Like I loved having male attention. It was like, oh, this is nice, somebody to flirt with, this is fun. But then when it came down to like the rubber, meeting, the road of like, actually like having to go on dates and like somebody saying, oh well, why didn't you text me? It would make me feel like Claustrophobic.

Speaker 1: 14:38

Like smothered.

Speaker 2: 14:39

That's how. I feel and even in relationships like I'm like this, like truthfully, like with me and Nate we're dating, like we both like needed our alone time and I'm still like this. I'm like I love y'all so much but mama, mama needs a minute and I'm so. I'm still like that, cause I have those moments of just like I need a need a little space to just be me.

Speaker 1: 15:03

And I don't.

Speaker 2: 15:04

Yeah, so like I'm, I feel like I'm still like that.

Speaker 1: 15:11

Well, and it's like weird Cause it's not now. It's not just like guys, it's like a friend being like oh, I felt like I wasn't included, or I feel like you didn't text me, or like I'm like I've had a full days where I barely talked to a soul now and I'm like I think I really need that space in my current journey.

Speaker 2: 15:27

But I will say this I actually I'm okay. Here's the thing I actually am impressed that whoever this person has said something I would never have the balls to say that.

Speaker 1: 15:39

They didn't. I actually said something to them complimentary about something I saw, and I actually said something to them complimentary about something I saw. They didn't know. Nope, I'm not going to give them that much credit, oh shit.

Speaker 2: 15:51

Okay, that makes it worse then, cause I was like you know, I appreciate it, but I think it's all in how you frame it. It's like, hey man, like just did I do something to upset you. Like if it was like a nice conversation, like like I would do that with you, like if you didn't invite me to something, I'd be like Becca, like did I do something? What I mean, it's the two. I mean, come on, I'd be like why didn't you invite me? But like so what happened?

Speaker 1: 16:15

So how did you find out she had something their life and so I was like, oh my gosh, are you like okay, do you need something? And it like fired off in this and like I don't have, I can't give the rest of the context. But I was like wait a minute, because it made me start thinking back on like how I showed up for this person in really big ways in the past and I was like actually you don't get to talk to me like that. Yeah, that's a hard, that's a hard no for me.

Speaker 2: 16:53

I don't like that. I'm going to need you to give me more details offline, then I will Don't worry. But I did read a quote the other day and I'm going to totally butcher this, but basically the essence was like as you start establishing boundaries, the people who don't respect them are the people that you need them with the most. Yeah, that's what she said oh, was that, was that what?

Speaker 1: 17:15

No, no, no, but what she said was different, but it's like that. All that tells me is the universe keeps repeating it to us. Like for sure it was, and I didn't purposely just include this person. It was an eight person table and we had two weeks to fill it and I actually didn't rush to fill it, I was super slow and thoughtful about it and ended up being a really good group, and that's not to say somebody else would have been bad for it, but like I don't know, it just wasn't. It's Charleston, everyone wants to be included and there's always stuff going on and I get it. But like it wasn't malicious.

Speaker 2: 17:47

And so for also for it to be made to feel like I was being malicious when that's like literally not how I show up, yeah, but you know I'm a big fan, Like I always say that people who act like that are projecting how they would react or why they do stuff on you.

Speaker 1: 18:03

So that's what I started thinking about and it took me down a rabbit hole and now I have a notes about it. Notes about it, Of course you do. Okay, so pivoting um to freedom and the 4th of July freedom to learn your own boundaries and your new path, and the 4th of July and red, white and blue Um, I was actually going to ask you like a question and then I started thinking about how we were talking about the tribe thing, but, like I always think of, like Betsy Ross and the flag and like the whole, like which villager would do you think you would have been Like, what are my options?

Speaker 2: 18:45

I feel like I probably would have been the school teacher. I would have been like the cook or like the town jester, like I would be like comedian.

Speaker 1: 18:53

I think that been like the cook or like the town jester, like I, would be like comedian. I think that's when we're in the castle era.

Speaker 2: 18:59

There's a jester during the flag.

Speaker 1: 19:07

I mean surely there had to be some kind of entertainment, right, I don't know. I mean I feel like we were like fighting for our birthday as a country, so I'm not really sure there was like much entertainment.

Speaker 2: 19:16

I'm not a history buff, no me either. I know, okay, I'm going to say cook, let's just go with that, cause they had to eat. So that's a safe bet. Like the butter, baby, you're like with the butter, yeah, yeah, grown vegetables.

Speaker 1: 19:31

I know the butter, butter, yeah, yeah, gross vegetables, I know. Now I don't know. I feel like the teacher might have been the single ace and I don't know if I would have been a teacher wait, a teacher I can, I will you.

Speaker 2: 19:39

I cannot imagine you a teacher at all. I feel like you'd have been doing like some manly shit, like fucking, like. I think I would have been actually I think you'd have been like chopping wood. I won't be honest with you, or like repairing the wagons. Do they have wagons then why do you put me in such a manly category? You're so tough and you're a baddie like I, just like. You're a badass bitch and you're like get out of my way. You can't figure this shit out. I'll do it my damn self.

Speaker 1: 20:06

I think I probably would have been doing something like strong for sure, like I love to farm, like dig a a, I'm a, I'm your girl. If you ever need to dig a hole, I'm your girl.

Speaker 2: 20:13

I've dug a few I'm gonna tell nate that so he knows to stay in line I'm.

Speaker 1: 20:18

I'll dig a hole for you all day. I'm so good at digging holes. Don't ask me how I know. I'm a new yorker. I know about holes, but I thought y'all just repeat people in the hudson. I thought that's what they did. We just put the bricks on their feet. No, I'm not. I didn't live by the hut and I lived out in the country. But what I can tell you is, if it was a mechanic situation like fixing the wagon probably not somewhere between digging a hole, but not mechanics okay, and like I said I, my first thought was you chopping wood I feel like I'd be really good at that.

Speaker 1: 20:51

I think you would too. I'd be there for the boys, oh for sure so what do you? Do you have like any july?

Speaker 2: 20:58

four things that you love. No, I mean traditions, fireworks, like are you, do you like, love it?

Speaker 1: 21:06

no, I like love the fourth of july, but I don't like, I don't think it's a big, tradition-centric holiday for me. You know what I always think of. I think of the Sandlot, what I thought you were going to say Jennifer Coolidge. I am so unglued over that.

Speaker 2: 21:28

I know that's why I said that. I thought you were going to say it makes me want a hot dog, real bad real bad.

Speaker 1: 21:35

First of all, I love her anyways. Of course 4th of July makes me want a hot dog. Real bad. I just freaking that quote. I'm going to have to do a reel or something to it because I just can't let it go.

Speaker 2: 21:48

I know it's so good, okay, so you don't do anything. I feel well, you know I do anything. I feel well, you know, I love it.

Speaker 1: 21:53

I mean I do like pools, barbecues, like whatever. I have a couple of friends that have barbecues but it's like like growing up it wasn't necessarily like my parents' favorite. You know, like I love a firework.

Speaker 2: 22:07

I feel like I love a theme. It doesn't matter what it is, I love a theme. Yes, live for a theme. And so July 4th, like I feel like I love making a big meal. I love having decorative dishes, I love having an American flag bathing suit, like oh my.

Speaker 1: 22:27

God, this is good.

Speaker 2: 22:28

I do Like. I mean you know this. I mean I make sure that my entire family has 4th of July garb, like we. I love a theme, I live for a theme.

Speaker 1: 22:38

For example, this is where you and Whitney very much collide, because I'm 100% sure she's got a flag bikini, but like I would show up in a black bikini on accident and be like damn it, somebody should have told me, because I don't necessarily naturally think this way, I would definitely have told you.

Speaker 2: 23:00

But so yesterday we had a thick speaking of things. We had a theme at my mother-in-law's she they are from versailles, ohio, which every year they have this thing called Poultry Days and it's this big like I mean it's basically like a parade, a carnival. It is a big festival that this town sells like chicken dinners, and so they smoke these chickens and they sell like thousands of these chicken dinners and I'm going to be honest with you, it's the best damn chicken I've had in my Well, I was just thinking.

Speaker 1: 23:34

first of all, if it's something like that and you get in a styrofoam container, can I tell you how down I am? You can count on me, like if we are ever on a road trip and we drive by something like that pull your ass over.

Speaker 2: 23:53

We are going to be two hours late. We are getting the styrofoam church dinner. When I was pregnant, I ate a full chicken there, Dude.

Speaker 1: 23:57

I went hard and that chicken is good, I believe it.

Speaker 2: 23:58

It's like a church dinner, it's a church dinner yes. It comes with like a bag of chips and this apple sauce and like a dinner roll, so anyway. So we have not been since Nate's grandparents are no longer with us, so we decided to recreate it here yesterday. So I had a shirts made, of course I did. Shout out to Cuckoo Monkey and Mount Pleasant for doing these ridiculous shirts for me. We had Nate's aunt and uncle over. We played bingo.

Speaker 1: 24:27

I love bingo. Dude, we should go to a bingo hall because I will embarrass us both.

Speaker 2: 24:34

you will embarrass us take a pack of cigarettes, though, because I feel like you need to smoke when you're at a bingo hall I don't smoke ever I don't either, but I feel like you need to when you're playing like a pack of cigarettes yeah, we'll just, we'll just like take them just in case can we bring candy cigarettes and just be like?

Speaker 1: 24:47

oh yes, I like that idea better because I really don't like to smith you guys can be like out of our minds, like we should just do like the most, one of those like dabber things, like we're serious, we're getting a whole rainbow pack like let's get a knit bag, let's get a knit bag, let's just take it so far, amen we played bingo, we did um, we had like these plastic chickens that we did.

Speaker 2: 25:11

We drew like a target and we had like a chicken flinging contest and then we did paint your own chicken. So everybody, it's kind of like the paint your partner thing. Everybody had their own canvas, we hid it from each other and everybody painted chickens. And you know, after seeing my picture of nate like I feel like nobody had any hope for me, I freaking rocked it, your chickens.

Speaker 1: 25:37

I have questions about the chicken in the back of mark's chicken. That thing is the thing that is nightmares are. Why does it have four feet? Why is it built like?

Speaker 2: 25:51

he did it to be funny, but I think he just painted it really fast because he did not.

Speaker 1: 25:55

I don't think he wanted to do this, so he was just like, I think he did blackout and then after he was like wait, that was a mistake, it has four chicken legs, like that thing. That thing is. I don't actually know if maybe he's forecasting the evolution of chickens, cause you know how people love a drumstick. Oh yeah, nothing's terrifying. All I just kept thinking of how many feet.

Speaker 2: 26:18

I was really. So basically, I mean clark did really well, nate's mom did really well and I mean I think I took it, though I feel like I did a pretty damn no, I know, you're just something somebody would put on the wall of their kitchen and I named named him Fred because he looked like a Fred to me.

Speaker 1: 26:32

And it looked like a mugshot.

Speaker 2: 26:34

So I feel like Fred had a rough night and he, just he ended up. You know what?

Speaker 1: 26:39

I felt like Fred just had like a lot of caffeine. He was like he knew that today was the day and he was like I'm getting jacked on the calf, like oh God, so yeah. So I like, oh god, so yeah, so I love a thing back to July 4th. No, I live for it, like I always think, like Sandlot, you know anything that makes me feel nostalgia?

Speaker 2: 27:00

like I just, yeah, love, we're going back to it and that's me, I think that's what it is like. I, you know, I just I think like just hot days and ice cream, and you know, I remember being at friend's house when they did July 4th. They would use the ice cream maker, which we had an ice cream maker.

Speaker 1: 27:16

growing up we had a pool maker and we definitely like.

Speaker 2: 27:21

We bought an ice cream maker because Nate and I were convinced that we wanted to make ice cream. And then we like went in the grocery store and it was like holy shit, we've got to spend like $70 on cream.

Speaker 1: 27:32

And like salt and like there's all this other stuff that goes into like yeah.

Speaker 2: 27:36

I know, Can you just get the buy one? Get one of the like briars.

Speaker 1: 27:42

Every time I try to make my own. Anything, every single time, could be a Pinterest craft. I might as well just bought it for the $22, because I will spend $80 trying to make something and butcher it and then still have to go and get it. That's why I don't do that. I don't know if it's like nostalgia for you, but like very summery things Stopped at Boone Hall this week and at Willie's Farm Market.

Speaker 2: 28:13

I have a reel that I made for one of our clients. Actually, actually, I need you to look over about that, okay, sorry.

Speaker 1: 28:16

Well, so I know I'm a big tomato connoisseur, like I'm. Get real tomatoes are my favorite. I'm obsessed. Um, their tomatoes are back for you pick and their sunflowers have popped, so it's so pretty when you oh my god, all the instagram influencers are going to be in them taking pictures.

Speaker 2: 28:32

You know how pretty it is.

Speaker 1: 28:33

you like drive by it forever and they're like they grow so fast and then it's green and then all of a sudden, one day it's just the sea of yellow, and then it's gone so fast too. It's one of those pilot and I went while summit was at gymnastics and a thunderstorm was rolling in. So it's like pink skies, gray skies, all this yellow, and I was like this is. I saw this reel the other day that was talking about finding romance in everything and I don't know if anything made me feel more seen Like just lately. I feel like my cups of coffee are like so good, my tomatoes are so good, like I don't know. Like I feel big emotions about some things, but not like sad. I just feel like I like this idea of everything kind of feeling like romance, even if it's like snuggling on the couch. I feel that.

Speaker 2: 29:27

Right, I have a theory. What is it? I think you're finding your peace because I feel like that's what peace feels like. Okay, I am here for finding my peace Because I'm like that. I feel like, since I have I'm going to call it my midlife awakening.

Speaker 1: 29:42

Yeah.

Speaker 2: 29:42

Because I feel like that's what it is. I definitely am the same way. I feel very content. It's a sunset, it's driving home with the window down and a good song, it's a good glass of wine, it's a good giggle with you, it's a good dance. It's just like I just feel so, just super lord. It's gonna make me tear up, just very grateful. So I feel like that. That comes from. That comes from peace. So I feel like, feel like you're finding your peace when you haven't had it in a long time.

Speaker 1: 30:15

I definitely. I think you're onto something, because it's like even like I'm going to say this and people are going to laugh, but like sip a Diet Coke, I'm like, damn, that feels good, it could be anything.

Speaker 2: 30:27

I mean, I feel that in my soul I'm definitely it's so Damn, it's so good, it's so good.

Speaker 1: 30:35

But it could be like I mean, I'm like I find myself like hugging my friends more I find myself really leaning into. I posted this reel today. I'll actually post it on the podcast thing about. It's actually about friendships and it was so good, right. So it's like this idea that we're kind of taught as men and women to like look for love in a partner and you can actually find this platonic, deep love in your girlfriends and no one's talking about it and you and I started talking about this months ago when we were talking about girls nights and making time and sleepovers and we've kind of been leading up to this idea for a while.

Speaker 1: 31:16

But that reel really resonated with me. I felt it in such a big way. I just feel like when I even swim meets, I get to spend time like sure, if you want to be. Whatever about it. There's certainly parents that are like miserable the whole time, but I'm like man, I'm with some of my favorite people. I'm watching my kids have these super valuable relationships with their coach, Super like they are literally for four hours just cracked out on pizza and candy, competing, randomly, dancing on the side of the pool, just like being their little weird selves, and I'm like I cannot help but see like the romance in it.

Speaker 2: 31:54

I know it's, it's core memories, man, and I love that for you. I love that for you Cause just my how far you've come since January.

Speaker 1: 32:02

It's just it's so great and like people can disturb it. Right now. I feel like I'm just like I'm not going to be dismissive, but no.

Speaker 2: 32:11

Yeah, I definitely. I mean, you know how I feel about that. I'm a, I need cup fillers, I don't need anybody draining me, I don't need one for like a little bit there, like without saying too much.

Speaker 1: 32:23

But I'm going to be honest, begged somebody to love me and I will not do that again, not with a friend, nor should you, nor should you For sure, but like in this, when that text hit, my first reaction was like okay, like I know how I would have shown up a year ago and I was like we're definitely just no. Like, if that's your feelings, I understand. Everybody is welcome to their feelings. I'm not going to do the thing that I did, because every time I've done it, I've sold a piece of me and I'm I have worked too hard to pull all those things back together. It's just a no for me.

Speaker 2: 33:13

Yeah, no, I, I am with you a hundred percent. I don't think you need to do that. I mean I, you know, I think it's great to have friends, but I mean people grow apart, and that's okay.

Speaker 1: 33:25

Well, like it just didn't have to, there's no reason why this had to be that.

Speaker 2: 33:31

Like I'm sure it was nothing to do with you. Truthfully, it was just some kind of projection. But again, I also don't like people handling things in shitty ways either. There's a way to have that conversation where it's like, hey, like you kind of hurt my feelings, can we just talk through it, cause I feel like you're that kind of person Like and I don't really do that.

Speaker 2: 33:52

I'm Southern, I don't do confrontation very well, but you know, I think there's a way to say hey, you hurt my feelings. Have I done something to make you not include me? Like yeah, I think that's a lot easier to say instead of sending a shitty text.

Speaker 1: 34:07

I mean like I don't know, and it just like I just am in this very much where I'm like it's okay if, like, I make you mad, or it's okay Like I'm never trying to. Like I know, in my heart right now I'm just literally so set on feeling peace and like anything that feels like a cost to that. I'm questioning because I'm just like I already gave it up, Like I just I don't.

Speaker 2: 34:35

I love that for you and I think you should continue rocking it.

Speaker 1: 34:38

I love that. I'm like, maybe at the boat, maybe I went like a little sideways for it, maybe I will like to what Christina said for a hot second and maybe it'll be more upright next spring. But I'm like, if that's, the worst that happens is, I'm like you are allowed to believe what you believe about me and that's okay. It's not the end of the world, nope, nope, I'm not going to do anything mean about it, I'm not going to be destructive, I just okay. Sure, I don't know. I will tell you this, though I haven't had a McDonald's cheeseburger in like two and a half weeks. I know, I don't know why, but I started thinking about it yesterday and I've just been getting diet Cokes and then milkshakes for the girls. I don't think it's working for me. That breakup is not good, so I have every intention of hitting it hard next week.

Speaker 2: 35:35

When's the last time I had a McDonald's cheeseburger? It's been that day. I sent you a picture, so I mean it's been a bit I want to say like you know, I was getting like three a week.

Speaker 1: 35:44

I still see my boy.

Speaker 2: 35:48

That's an American brand, McDonald's. That makes me think of America McDonald's does we should?

Speaker 1: 35:55

we really need to share their story more, like this whole idea.

Speaker 2: 35:58

I know you know I tried to get. I've been looking for somebody to get on the podcast from McDonald's marketing department true story. I did some research about it on LinkedIn well, because we have.

Speaker 1: 36:07

We saw this thing about even like how the arches were, this like flag like. From a marketing perspective.

Speaker 2: 36:14

It's brilliant yeah no, it's brilliant, it's really interesting. So I've not given up hope yet. I have not given up hope. Actually, I'm going to manifest it right now. We will have somebody from McDonald's marketing team on the podcast in 2024.

Speaker 1: 36:32

Absolutely. I cannot wait to speak to them. It's going to be such a good conversation.

Speaker 2: 36:37

I mean they're going to be really excited to hear about your love of their cheeseburgers.

Speaker 1: 36:43

Their cheeseburgers, their team. I'm obsessed, you're obsessed.

Speaker 2: 36:48

It's not killing me, not to go we cannot get off of this podcast and recording today without talking about the real that you convinced me, but it was not a real. To be clear, we were two girlfriends.

Speaker 1: 37:02

I know it's important to set this, because we made a video. Did you see my niece commenting who is this? But then I clicked on their profile picture and they were young, so I was like I need to keep my comments.

Speaker 2: 37:13

One of my sweet nieces shout out to Chloe. She was like aunt Jenny, you're doing reels. I'm like hell. No, chloe, no, I'm not.

Speaker 1: 37:22

I had to sleep over a video. We made the video for Christina who, by the way, texted me last night with another harebrained scheme which I'm like, so excited about for like a mini girls trip for her and I, and she is actually with her sister, right now at a winery for the weekend.

Speaker 2: 37:39

I feel like they're having the best time. I'm so jelly. So when I got the text.

Speaker 1: 37:42

At like nine o'clock last night I was like, ooh, we've been in the wine, like I'm here for this, like, yes, I love a drunk plan.

Speaker 1: 37:49

I live for a tipsy plan, so I yes, we made the video for Christina because we love her and we were figuring out this whole karaoke thing, and then you found the perfect song and then we decided to make the video and there was this subsection that when we cause, there actually is. We did the entire song, let it be known. There is a second video that we are never sharing, but there is a second video that just Tina got.

Speaker 2: 38:18

Nate got it too. I think I sent it to my dad too, your friend.

Speaker 1: 38:23

I think I sent it to. I think I maybe sent it to, oh, you know who? I sent it to my cousin Amanda, the one who's been like blowing us up, the one who said that she was dying over mustache logic, and I literally shit my pants because I was like what did I say about mustaches?

Speaker 2: 38:41

Because it could have been anything knowing me, we were talking about mustaches and periods.

Speaker 1: 38:46

Periods, I know, but for a second did you see? I wrote. I was like what did I say? What did I say? Because if it's a mustache or a beard, like I'm you, I don't know why I'm like this, but I love it so much.

Speaker 2: 39:01

No, you're good it was. That was a clean. We did not edit any of that part out. I panicked, oh listen, cause Nate, he panicked. Oh listen, because, nate he, when he asked him if he listened to the episode, he was like, yeah. He was like did you forget to edit out that part? I'm like what part? And I got like real nervous. He was like the part about gravity and I'm like what did I say? He's like you were talking about old man's balls. I'm like, oh my god. I'm like, no, we meant to leave that in there.

Speaker 1: 39:28

pavan is like so in love.

Speaker 2: 39:30

Oh, shout out shout out to Pavan, our producer. He's having to have. He's like what do you ladies talk about?

Speaker 1: 39:37

It's just we just like it's very. People do not understand how unedited these conversations are. We literally are like pick a topic or we will start talking about something and just be like stop, we are going to continue this on air. And we literally like leave it as if it were a bomb and we have to wait for the bomb people to come and like what are those people called TSA? What are the bomb people?

Speaker 2: 40:01

No, it's um it's like for planes. Oh my God, it's going to drive me crazy. I know where you're going. Like the bombs.

Speaker 1: 40:12

I think there's like another like ATF, an acronym right For like it's like ATF, isn't it? This is how I understand how the Jessica Simpson chicken of the sea thing happened.

Speaker 2: 40:25

Oh yeah, it's not, yes, atf, oh no. Oh yeah, it's not yes, atf, oh no. Wait, that's alcohol, tobacco and firearms and explosives.

Speaker 1: 40:39

Yeah, that's good, that's right, okay, well, sometimes we leave it as if we're waiting for the squad to come and then we reopen the package in a more appropriate environment, which apparently is on the air, and I understand that most people don't live their life this way, but the two of us do.

Speaker 2: 40:52

Yeah, no, we, like I said honestly that one little comment that we edited out of the finale is the only editing we've ever done this entire podcast.

Speaker 1: 41:05

And there's going to be a day where we are on stage in the next year and somebody asks us what it was, and we are going to have to come clean that is fine, I think not today.

Speaker 2: 41:17

It's just not today, you like how? I just? I mean, when I mentioned I told nate I'd let him listen to the one episode that we have completely scrapped. He hasn't listened to it yet, but he'll probably be like oh yeah, I don't know if y'all are ready for all that.

Speaker 1: 41:29

No, but do you like how I just manifested that we're going to be on stage?

Speaker 2: 41:32

Yeah, I heard you and I believe with you, marketing and Mayhem Live. We're going to have to just change it to Mayhem Live soon if we don't start talking to more marketing.

Speaker 1: 41:46

We probably are, but I still like where we're going. I think this is important I love where we're going.

Speaker 2: 41:54

All right well, I've got to go eat some hamburgers.

Speaker 1: 41:57

I want to see pictures of all of the food. So I don't have the girls. I don't have the girls in the fourth, but I will be meeting up with them at two different friends houses. Um, we have a group that where like one has a pool, so we'll start there during the day and then we're going back to nicole's because she lives right on the and so we'll be able to see all the fireworks. Pembroke isn't doing firework.

Speaker 2: 42:20

Yes, we, we are going to just pull it and firework it and eat. I have a local, of course I do. I have a local charcuterie girl here that I use every time I'm in florida. Yeah, her, her company is called partinis by jen. She does an amazing job. So she's doing me like a fourth of july charcuterie board, so I'll definitely post that and tag her because she does this is like the fifth or sixth maybe more than that board that she's done for me. She does such a great job.

Speaker 1: 42:50

Oh my God, I love that. We'll definitely tag her in the thing. But, yeah, let's, definitely let's. I mean we might not share a million firework photos, but you guys can tag us in whatever. Share us with your nostalgia, Like we will. Absolutely. That would be fun to share on the mayhem stories, like through the weekend, yeah. I love that like through the weekend. Yeah, I love that, me too. Family time, the best time.

Speaker 2: 43:11

All right, well, happy. Fourth Everybody, stay safe and we will see you next week.

Speaker 1: 43:23

Cheers.