Value, College & What Did You Want to Be?

We switch gears between guests - for a deep convo about family and legacy after Raebecca returns home for a family funeral. Something about funerals and weddings have us digging into impact and reflecting on our own personal legacies. And somehow - SOMEHOW - the big take away was … we’re capable of more, today, tomorrow, and more than we originally thought.

When did life become about cars, and big houses and status symbols - after sitting in a pew and listening to a true legacy, we can’t help but wonder what we’re contributing to the betterment. And we get into the weeds about how inadequate society likes to make us feel, when they don’t understand our “why” (and we don’t mean just our why, we mean anyones why). Including this completely inappropriate question we field SO OFTEN - “How much money do you make from the podcast?” - rude.

This journey is about filling our cups - and yours. With humor, perspective, personal growth - we’re tackling the topics that so many of us face. As moms, working moms, entrepreneurs. And naturally that takes us on a left hand turn into college - graduation ceremonies - and our inability to fully be present in our achievements. We dissect our different approaches to control and success - and validation. Dont worry - we talk ALL about our failures, weight gain, beer and boys. Which one of us went to school with the intention to be a kindergarten teacher? You’re going to be shocked. 

And yes - we bring enneagram into this convo - and if you’re an enneagram girl you’re going to want to stay tuned! Next weeks guest is everything ENNEAGRAM - so take the free test and get ready to deep dive into your motivation and drive with our favorite expert.

In loving memory - James Hare 
12/11/1956 - 8/3/2024

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Hosted by @raebecca.miller and @jennyfromthe843

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:06

What up? I just noticed you changed your name back from Scooby.

Speaker 2: 0:15

I did change my name back to Rebecca. Why Do you want me to be Scooby?

Speaker 1: 0:21

You can be Scooby in your heart.

Speaker 2: 0:23

I am Scooby in your heart. I am Scooby in my heart. Let me just tell you I am Scooby in my heart, gosh. We have had such amazing guests on lately. I am so excited for this fall with this podcast.

Speaker 1: 0:39

I know and we're coming up to a year for all things, we're coming up to a year.

Speaker 2: 0:45

We've talked relationships, we're talking branding, we're talking enneagrams, we're talking farts, talking farts, camel toe, basically everything.

Speaker 1: 0:56

Basically everything.

Speaker 2: 0:57

I am going through it. Can we talk about this for a second? Sure, Okay, that's what we're here for. The ceilings have been repaired in the apartment. Finally Went home to New York for a funeral. Do you know? When that episode aired, three of my cousins reached out and they were like oh my gosh, are you coming? Because it aired on a Thursday and I was already. I was on a plane that exact same day and I hadn't told people because life has been so crazy that I was coming home. So they found out the day before the funeral from the podcast.

Speaker 1: 1:36

I do the same thing when I go. Why are we like this? I do the same exact thing when I go home.

Speaker 2: 1:40

My college roommate texts me Friday night and was like, cause, we grew up in the same town. And she was like are you home? My college roommate texts me Friday night and was like cause, we grew up in the same town. And she was like are you home? Do you want to go for a walk tomorrow? She actually said this was kind of one of those like amazing conversations, cause obviously, like I don't always keep track of everybody, um, but I loved her. Like we actually had the summer job at the ice cream shop where I acted like a crazy person together. But she was like do you?

Speaker 2: 2:07

She made a comment about how she didn't start exercising until we were roommates together and she was like do you remember that you are the one who got me into? She said I said I couldn't because I had plans with family. She said I knew it was a long shot, but I figured I'd ask. You were literally the person that made me start exercising back in the day. Remember, we did double sessions of spinning and then dance class and then we would go lift and we spent half the day at the gym and then we would spend the other half at the bar, and I actually forgot that.

Speaker 1: 2:35

I like entangled everyone in this, like you exercised in college? Absolutely yeah.

Speaker 2: 2:44

I had really good friends that did it too, and then I had friends that played collegiate sports, so I liked being around them. I did it my first year. I gained a bunch of weight my first year because I like had stopped doing everything that I did at home and all of my sports. And then I got home and one of my little brother was like dude, I didn't even recognize you, oh my.

Speaker 2: 3:03

God, that's so mean, A hundred percent. The baby was like Ooh, and I was like so I started running that summer and then I kept that all the way through college. And then I met. I had grown up lifting because of my dad, but I met another friend, Rachel. She lifted, so we started doing that together in like the weight room and then it just became this whole gaggle of girls we 100% exercise in college. It was like a big thing.

Speaker 1: 3:28

The only thing I was lifting in college was beer, beer bottles. I did not do any of that.

Speaker 2: 3:36

I did. It sounds like, based on what Christina said, I did both. That's it. I'm really impressed, to be quite honest. I mean both.

Speaker 1: 3:44

I'm really impressed, to be quite honest. I mean because I didn't think that people, it was a balance.

Speaker 2: 3:48

If you read what you wrote, we were doing both.

Speaker 1: 3:52

It was a fine balance. I know that's what I'm telling you. I'm really impressed because I was only focused on boys and beer.

Speaker 2: 4:00

Yeah, I feel like we had a good time. We had a really good group of girls.

Speaker 1: 4:04

We had all our meals. Okay, you Houdini'd in town.

Speaker 2: 4:08

Yeah, I Houdini'd in town, not even on purpose. People were laughing because in that episode I said isn't Jenny going to buy my ticket, isn't Whitney going to buy? And that isn't monetarily purchased, I just needed somebody To book it To help me. Because, so much the apartment stuff alone, I don't know if I'll ever be over the full trauma of having to pack up my entire master closet, bathroom, bedroom and then put it all back one night and then get on a plane the next morning.

Speaker 1: 4:39

Yeah, it was a lot that picture of your stuff in the girl's bedroom.

Speaker 2: 4:43

I was like, oh my gosh lot that picture of your stuff in the girl's bedroom. I was like, oh my gosh, I was moving so fast and I still I walked up to that gate and they were boarding the final zone. I mean, I was flying in there. A good friend of mine texts and he was like you. I hope you are in your car right now because you and I was like barely barely in in my car, like walking to my car.

Speaker 1: 5:07

It's like you've got to get yeah. No, I'm not that like I'm not that person, because I'm not that person either, but I couldn't. There was no physical way to do more than I did yeah, I'm like I just need to be there and I'm not like that crazy person who needs to get there like two hours before. Like give me a solid 30 and I'm your girl, like I'm good, didn't happen, didn't happen.

Speaker 2: 5:31

I can't do the slide in sideways thing.

Speaker 2: 5:34

So I have two funny stories from you For you. So it's I'm in my parents' house. There's an internment before the funeral. My mom and dad are there, they have the day off. They leave. They say we're going to be back at one o'clock to pick you up. Great, got it.

Speaker 2: 5:52

I'm in my parents' house by myself. They have, like this huge Rhodesian Ridgeback, so I've got this horse basically hanging out with me, which I love. It's up to my hip. The dog is huge. I'm obsessed. We grew up with these. Very sweet. I'm just hanging out with this horse. I get in the tub With the horse. What? No, the horse is around. Oh, okay, get in the tub because of who I am and I have to regroup after stuff like that, and you know it's water for me. So I'm in the tub working, got music playing. My parents come home at 1030. They're not supposed to be home. Pretty sure that's because, also, I had my childhood best friend over the previous night and we drank a lot of champagne and wine and we cried and laughed and did all the things I swear on my life. My mom was just making sure that I wasn't hung over and that I was actually up and getting ready for this, but she did it under the guise of bringing me a Diet Coke.

Speaker 1: 6:48

I mean.

Speaker 2: 6:49

She walks right into the bathroom.

Speaker 1: 6:54

While you're in the bath?

Speaker 2: 6:56

Yes, Then she panics and she's like I just thought you wanted a.

Speaker 1: 7:02

Diet Coke and she's turning around in circles and I was like but I do want a Diet Coke. And she's like turning around in circles and I was like, but I do want a Diet Coke. Yeah, like, drop that here, cindy, drop it here Also, can you leave?

Speaker 2: 7:15

Oh my God, because I didn't know she goes. I just think there might have been a miscommunication. And it was like the funniest thing, because that week was so intense that I started like crying, laughing, and I actually felt so bad for my mom, cause I could tell that she was just like trying to do the nicest thing, and then she was like embarrassed for me, cause it was just. It was so much chaos at once, like my phone was playing music, I was working on it, I didn't know people were home, there's a Diet Coke, my mom's spinning around in circles, it's not my tub, so there's no bubbles, and so I started laughing. I was like you know what? It was a good week for it. It was a good week for it and she just was like I could just that sounds heavenly.

Speaker 1: 7:56

A mom sent Diet Coke while you're in the bathtub, I know.

Speaker 2: 8:01

It was great. I just You're sweet mama. It was a good funny moment before the funeral. So the funeral we won't get into the nitty gritty of it, but the funeral was for my uncle, jim.

Speaker 2: 8:16

I grew up in a small town. It's a farming town in Rochester, new York, in Hilton, everybody knows everybody. My dad is one of five, his sister married Jim. That's my godmother, and like they have three kids. The one son is four days older than me. So we grew up together. His daughter's one of my close friends.

Speaker 2: 8:33

He's the fireman, but he was also our fire chief and then he was like pivotal in creating the fire explorers program and then on top of it he was like one of the vice presidents for the New York state fire chiefs association and he did all this other stuff. Like he helped restore one of the original fire trucks that our fire department owned. They found it in like a salvage yard in Buffalo recently, like in the last couple of years, and the fire department bought it back and he helped restore it. And so like they told the story of like I mean, he has been sick for a little bit. So we have like a big parade and carnival in our town and the fire department's obviously like a big part of that, and so that was the first time that the restored truck was going to be out and they like took it by his house before they took it to like the parade and like he got to see it and I mean I just love his kids and his wife and it was, there were so many firemen there.

Speaker 1: 9:35

I feel like that's always just. Even if you see, I mean same thing with police officers, seeing that kind of camaraderie and like just something about people being in uniform, I mean it, just. I mean it moves me to tears, it really does.

Speaker 2: 9:52

And I feel like I wanted to touch on it just because the one word that kept coming up the entire time was like family, family, family. And it wasn't just like who he is as a dad, it's really like the way that these departments work, and I think about, like, even going back into the school. You're like teachers. Or I think about first responders, and I think about how sometimes we always talk about like careers, like everyone has to have these, like huge achievements and a million dollars, and I can tell you right now, like no one's making a million dollars being a firefighter. But like these I don't know how we make these conversations bigger, because these people are so important and what they get back from their jobs is so much more than what.

Speaker 2: 10:32

I see people who are just chasing a paycheck getting, and like the depth of, like the raw emotion that room, like there were explorers there right, they're the young in high school age.

Speaker 2: 10:42

I mean they were sobbing. I mean this was like one of those. They did the final call, which is just, you know, you hear all the beeping and the crackling, like I mean, obviously he's a fireman, so there was always that thing. Whatever that respondent thing is on top of the fridge. And so you go through the whole like final call, you know, call to duty, released of duty, and just I mean I sometimes I get so tired of the world being constantly about like cars and houses, and just you see this man and like the amount of time that he put into these other achievements, just because you felt very called. Like at a very young age his sister told stories of like the first fire that he went to that he ever saw, and like the grandma has a picture and it was actually their own house, and like he's standing outside and he's like staring at the house and everyone else is, like you know, panicking and he just was drawn to it like a really young age.

Speaker 1: 11:39

And then I love that.

Speaker 2: 11:41

She ended up being a paramedic and she's done all these amazing things.

Speaker 1: 11:45

But you have to be and that's you know, police officers or EMS paramedics, teachers, I mean, they're not doing it for the money, they are doing it because they were called to do something, and so I wish that we could take that philosophy and apply it to other places. Yeah, you know and we've touched on this briefly too you know a lot of folks. I mean, you know, we work multiple jobs, we're moms, we do all these things. It's like, oh my gosh, why do you do a podcast too? Like your time is so precious, like what are you doing?

Speaker 2: 12:13

And it's like straight up say to us how much money do you? I will say this cause, I'm sure some of you guys have thought it People ask us that, for whatever reason, the minute we are face to face the first question how much money do you make making?

Speaker 1: 12:33

the podcast. Yeah, okay, so the podcast. It's rude AF, by the way, it is rude AF, but like also, at some point it will be monetized.

Speaker 2: 12:40

right now it's kind of like that movie with Tom Hanks money pit, yeah two more weeks, two weeks.

Speaker 1: 12:46

We'll make money in two weeks, two weeks. But, like I, just we do it because we like it. We do it because we like it's so fulfilling.

Speaker 2: 12:57

Jenny truly, the podcast is one of my top. If I were to make a list of ways that I film my own cup podcast top five.

Speaker 1: 13:07

Yeah.

Speaker 2: 13:08

I love the podcast.

Speaker 1: 13:10

And you know the feedback that we get from everybody. I mean, that's what's, that's what keeps us going. So it's not. We're not banking on millions here over at marketing and mayhem.

Speaker 2: 13:20

We are feedback. It's like the guests that we get on. I think we both have. We're very drawn to entrepreneurs and then also self-growth, so we've actually been able to refill our cup in quite a few ways by having these amazing guests on who are tackling some of the same things, or got to the start line or the finish line in a different way, or give us perspective. I mean, I think we're both very committed to like perspective.

Speaker 1: 13:46

And it pushes us out of our comfort zone, like you know. So it's personal growth too, right. I mean, you think back to like, our first few episodes. It was like, oh, I don't know, should we say this, should we not say this? And now it's like YOLO, let's talk farts and camel toes, but just like, so it's just it's. I think it's. We need to get past this kind of what's in it for me mentality when it's more of just like.

Speaker 1: 14:20

Why don't you just put some good out there in in the world and do something that you truly like and enjoy like? Why do you have to? Why you gotta get paid for it?

Speaker 2: 14:29

I don't. This idea that your bank account reflects your actual like value is just it's, for whatever reason, because, like, don't get me wrong, I like nice things and I love to spend money.

Speaker 1: 14:40

Oh same girl. Take me to Target. Take me to Target losing your own parents. You just have these you like.

Speaker 2: 14:45

look around and everyone is having these really raw emotions that you don't find unless you're in rooms like that. Recently, I don't know, I just was like it starts to make you really question, like your impact.

Speaker 1: 15:17

I feel like that funerals and weddings are like that. I feel like those are the two events that you go to that you end up thinking about yourself Like I don't know why. I just I feel like that's a common human maybe not dudes. I don't feel like guys Nate's probably not thinking about anything. I don't know if.

Speaker 2: 15:36

I think about it as much as weddings. But I did post the other day Cause it was like a reel about families and the whole family was dancing weird, and that's like how the wife realized she was like with the right guy because they were all dancing like nerds. I was like man. I haven't embarrassed myself at a wedding in a little bit.

Speaker 1: 15:52

Oh my gosh, I live for it Same, same, live for it Same. I want to kick off my shoes. I need some friends of mine to start getting married.

Speaker 2: 16:05

Because I feel like we're in the part where, like then, everyone was having babies and now we're having some of these bigger moments, like talking about funeral planning or actually being at funerals of our family or like people's dads, and I'm like, wait a minute, I need someone to get married, I know.

Speaker 1: 16:17

I need like a mini martini. This is my point. This is my point.

Speaker 2: 16:21

Let's turn on Britney Spears.

Speaker 1: 16:22

So this is my point. Let's turn on Britney Spears. So, in your reflection, what do you want your legacy to be?

Speaker 2: 16:33

I don't know. I don't know the answer to that. You don't have anything. No, but that's because you're two, so you like to do this. Because this is like you telling me that you already had your funeral planned. You told me to do it. My lawyer told me to do it.

Speaker 2: 16:44

Okay, like you. Cause this is like you telling me that you already had your funeral planned, where I am a little bit more. My lawyer told me to do it. Okay, but it also made sense for you because of I would a lawyer could tell me that Jenny and I'd be like thank you, um, I, it's just like, for me, I there's the parts where I'm like I don't know, if I don't have, I can't do the best job, like defining some of those things Like I can think of like small impacts and I can be really global and give like big answers. But for me, more than anything, it's like the question that I enjoy Okay, why do you know what your legacy is? No, but I just I figured it's a good like if you thought about it, I'd be interested to hear what your what your legacy is.

Speaker 1: 17:23

No, but I just figured it's a good like if you thought about it, I'd be interested to hear what your legacy was.

Speaker 2: 17:28

You know what it made me really think about and I'm sure this is going to make you don't take a sip of anything right now because you're going to it made me think I could do more.

Speaker 1: 17:39

Oh my God, but no, I feel that way too, I know, but you have to have the oh God, but no, I feel that way too, I know, but you have to have the oh God Cause.

Speaker 2: 17:46

I know people say to you and I all the time like, how are you doing this? I don't have a good answer. No, but there is the part where I'm like, okay, but for every part where people aren't doing very much and then you and I are doing a lot, there are definitely other people who are like saving lives, rebuilding fire trucks, helping raise their grandkids, and I'm just like the limits you have are the limits you put on yourself. I agree with that. I'm shocked with how much you can like impact.

Speaker 1: 18:21

Yeah, I feel this. Yeah, I, I feel this, but I will say I give it, I'm giving it a fair shot to like do all the things, like all the same. Yeah, so I, you know, clark had her field day the other day, so her school does um their field day the second day school so everybody can get to know each other all the things.

Speaker 2: 18:46

It seems minorly inconvenient, but you made it happen. It is the second day of school.

Speaker 1: 18:52

When I came up with the games, I went shopping for the supplies. You managed field day, I managed the volunteers. I gathered all the volunteers, I told every volunteer what to do throughout the day, and so, at the end of the day, my heart was so full Like I cannot even begin to tell you how full, and so I'm doing some self-reflection on the way home, yep, and I'm like I feel so on purpose today, like I feel like I did exactly what I needed to do, and so I'm like you know immediately. I'm like well, is it because you've been in control all day? Is that why you liked it, jenny? And it's like no.

Speaker 1: 19:36

Where I get my kicks is when I look around and like see all those 165 kids doing the things that wouldn't have been possible without me. That's what, like. I'm like, oh my gosh, I love that. You know what I mean. So I think that for me, like I love that community and like bringing people together, I planned my 20th high school reunion. I mean, good God, of course I did so, you know, I think for me.

Speaker 1: 20:06

That's what I like seeing. I didn't go to mine, did you not? Yeah, no, why? I don't know. I didn't know you would have come to mine because mine was lovely.

Speaker 2: 20:16

It was, I'm sure. I'm actually sure that mine was lovely and I may make a better effort down the road, but like why didn't you go?

Speaker 1: 20:23

I?

Speaker 2: 20:23

got to know I don't have like a specific. I didn't go to my college graduation either. Huh, that's very, I don't. It's that's very, I don't know. You know what I feel like and maybe this is, this might be the aid in me, but I feel like I'll push so hard for the achievement and then, once I get there, it's like that where, like for you, it might be more like the thing where I'm just like next, like I'm, I wish it might be an ADHD thing. I actually saw a thing on this the other day too. That was like I wish I could sit in it and enjoy it, but that's not necessarily where I go mentally.

Speaker 1: 21:02

I'm a little. I think we've talked about this with the prom. I feel like for me, I'm definitely that person. I like the buildup, I love doing all of the things beforehand, but then I'm like all right, I'm good, y'all have fun.

Speaker 2: 21:23

Out doing all of the things beforehand, but then I'm like all right, I'm good, Y'all have fun out. Yeah Well, I so I did. I graduated early also, so I wasn't in my, I didn't graduate with most of my peers, so I think that's partially why I was just like, but no, I didn't go.

Speaker 1: 21:31

I hated that shit. Anyway, I hate a hate, a graduation. Oh, is there anything worse? I mean truly.

Speaker 2: 21:37

I mean I literally skipped mine. I graduated in three and a half years and skipped it why did?

Speaker 1: 21:43

you do that if you don't mind me asking graduated fast yeah okay, it's a whole story.

Speaker 2: 21:50

okay, I was a. I did well in high school. I wasn't like a valedictorian or anything, but I was smart and I went to college, not on scholarship or anything like that, but my grandfather that pilots named after paid for my collegiate education. I did not do well my first semester and I was because it was my first time not being athletic, my first time like really being away from all of the constraints that I had, and I just like had a good time. Yeah and um, I was not proud of that GPA, so I did a 180 very quickly and that's when I like got back to the gym, got super focused, I added.

Speaker 2: 22:35

So I graduated with a major, a minor and a core with high honors in three and a half years. Like I only needed that little five month moment to be like actually that's not what we're doing here. Like I can tend to be that way. Like where I was, like I'm going to let this get a little wily and then I'm going to tighten it up real tight, and so that's exactly. And then, actually, the December that I graduated from college, I also ran my first marathon. So like that's how I went from like that super sideways to like now. I'm training for a marathon and I'm going to graduate with high honors and all these things.

Speaker 1: 23:17

You know what I think is funny about this. So I'm the complete opposite and I find it odd because on more than one occasion you've called me a control freak and like everything you just described sounds like a control freak but, ironically, like I was not like that at all, Like I partied for two years and then I finally was like all right, well, I guess I got to start doing some homework and like get it together.

Speaker 2: 23:50

So my control freak is just me. So like I needed, because I feel like everything was very deliberate before. I needed to get sideways so that it was important to me to be, cause that intense always comes up with the eight thing. Like I need to dial myself in If someone else is trying to control me. I that's where I do not. I like to be very deliberate but I like to be autonomous.

Speaker 2: 24:17

It's interesting no one said anything to me about my grades. Not, no one said anything to me about my grades. My parents were very healthy, like this. No one said really anything to me about graduating early. No one really said anything about graduating with high honors.

Speaker 2: 24:30

My grandfather I gave him a sweatshirt which I have now because he passed. I got handed back to me and it obviously says University of Buffalo and it's like an extra large and I wear it a lot and the neck is all scruffed away from like his like own scruff. But he just said like it's the most expensive sweatshirt I've ever owned and it was like they were proud of me but they weren't going to like use that as a way to like misvalidate me. I think I knew they were proud, but they did. They were not the reason that I graduated with high honors. I they knew that I didn't need that, that I did better. My parents did a very good job understanding young that I did much better if I could self motivate. They never had to worry about that. Good job understanding young that I did much better. If I could self-motivate, they never had to worry about that.

Speaker 1: 25:19

Yeah, I don't, I don't, I was. I mean, work was always my thing. School was not my thing. School was which is ironic because I do have a master's, but school was never really my thing. Like cause they're so similar? Well, they're not, but here's the thing. Here's where I sucked in school, so I did poorly in college because I'm like, why am I learning this shit? Why am I learning Existential questions? Why am I here? But seriously, it's like music appreciation. I'm like having to listen to classical music and name that tune. I'm like they required it, it was. I'm like having to listen to classical music and name that tune.

Speaker 2: 25:56

I'm like I didn't take classes.

Speaker 1: 25:57

They required it. It was I'm like. So when I got, let me tell you where it transitioned for me my junior year. Well, cause, you know I was going to start. I wanted to be a kindergarten teacher. Did you know this about me? Yeah, I know, and I say that F word a lot, but no, my entire life I grew up wanting to be a kindergarten teacher.

Speaker 1: 26:16

Like first two years of college I took my core classes and then I started taking my teaching classes. Well, I got a job student or I got one of my classes I had to student teach and I was like F this, there is no way in hell I can do this for the rest of my life. True story, a lot of sense. I was like this is not going to work for me. Like the change major immediately. True story. So then I got into business and then that's when I started doing really well and like making really good grades, because I enjoy talking about business. So if I would have learned business growing up, I would have made good grades. Up I would have made good grades, but I hated fucking chemistry.

Speaker 2: 26:58

Are you kidding me? What the fuck do you need chemistry for Dude? In high school, my physics teacher was actually like also my uncle, and I failed physics Like I did so poorly and it was so embarrassing.

Speaker 1: 27:08

I failed chemistry.

Speaker 2: 27:10

I only passed chemistry, remember, because Mr Childs was hot. I know Mr Childs. Yep, I still get texts from people in my hometown. They're like did you really just talk about Mr Childs? Have we found him yet? He's alive and well. I mean, some of my friends still live in my hometown.

Speaker 1: 27:26

Is he still?

Speaker 2: 27:26

hot, yes, okay, and his wife's hot, they're like a hot power couple. Oh, my Dave's hot, they're like a hot power couple.

Speaker 1: 27:32

Oh my gosh, speaking of hot power couples, talk to me. So I went down the Love is Blind UK rabbit hole this weekend. All right, becca.

Speaker 2: 27:46

Is there an actual hot power couple? I don't know what they're doing over there.

Speaker 1: 27:49

But damn, is it the accent? I don't know if it's the accent or what, but, good Lord, I mean there is one on there that I pegged for you real quick. He owns a CrossFit gym. I don't know what his name is, I don't know all the names yet, but I'm like Becca should hop on a flight and hit that up real quick. He is cute. Wait, now, I'm going to have to watch. You're going to have to watch. You're going to have to watch. Yeah, but there's this couple.

Speaker 1: 28:17

So there's this guy named Freddie, and I only know his name because, dear Lord, how sweet. Yeah, okay, dear Lord, freddie, freddie, we love Freddie. And he paired with this smoking hot girl. So the fact that they, you know, they don't see each other, but then they get to see each other and they're both smoke show Like just heat, oh my God, I mean like good gravy. So anyway, but now, but now she's starting to be sucky. So I'm like all right, freddie, come on, cause he's so cute and he's 32, but he is sweet. Because he's so cute and he's 32, but he is sweet and he owns a funeral home. He's a funeral director. I'm going to need you to tune in because for nothing else but for the eye candy I know I'm probably going to have to tune in.

Speaker 2: 29:12

The funeral home funeral director thing cracks me up. One of my favorite people she was my longtime right-hand man in a retail setting. Um, beautiful, like the short little beautiful girl, she actually went to school for mortuary science, it's like what? So she oh my God, seriously, yes, so like she had to live in this old lady's house because there's actually very few schools for that old lady's house, because there's actually very few schools for that. She had to, like, rent a room from her in this random place in the upstate and she would tell me the craziest stories.

Speaker 1: 29:43

Oh my God, do you remember any of them? Because I feel like I would really.

Speaker 2: 29:47

Yeah, plenty. Some of them are just funny because she was actually really chaotic. She had like beautiful hair. Her name's Danielle I don't know if she listens, but we still chat. She's a stunner. I mean she's a smoke show, beautiful, curly hair, the whole thing, like eyelashes. But she I used to joke that her name was dan because she acted like a bully. There'd be like coffee stains everywhere, like half open yogurt. It's like she.

Speaker 2: 30:10

We basically lived together and we're roommates. When we traveled I I'd be like Dan, dan, dan. She used to drive me crazy, but, um, the, when they had to do like their final for makeup and stuff they give you like the face to take home to work on. And she also had a job at like a golf club. She left in the back of the car and melded to her seat and I'd be like Dan and I'd be like Dan. What Like you? She was chaotic, like that you know, and she is an artist and she actually does a ton of like home improvement and home decorating, which makes so much sense now, cause she just has an eye Like she always looked beautiful and everything. She could take the cheapest piece of jewelry and something about her. She would put it on and it would look incredible.

Speaker 1: 30:55

Oh, those people, I wish I could.

Speaker 2: 30:57

It was the first person in their class to actually have to like open a cadaver, and she passed out cold. Oh my God, I would die.

Speaker 1: 31:08

I put my knife in and I moved in and she's like I just out Mortuary science, mortuary science is what she went to school for. That's so interesting.

Speaker 2: 31:22

She actually didn't follow it because it ended up being a hard career to follow, because a lot of the funeral home business is passed down through families. Yeah, to get in to be a funeral director proved to be more challenging than she had hoped, but I mean her path now, looking back like, seems very clear. She's exactly where she needs to be.

Speaker 1: 31:42

She has like why did she want to do that?

Speaker 2: 31:45

Well she, so that comes from. She lost her dad when she was really young. I think there is some like linking there, of like being young and having this curiosity about just all of the different pieces, but ultimately it turned itself into this really artistic, like beautiful soul.

Speaker 1: 32:06

What did you want to be when you were growing up?

Speaker 2: 32:10

You know, to be honest with you, and this is going to sound really obnoxious, but I've always been obsessed with marketing. There is and I'm going to, I don't remember the name there was this movie. Jenna Aniston was in it and they were doing a marketing campaign and the office made them stay late, like overnight, and it was for mustard, and she said number two.

Speaker 1: 32:34

Oh my God, I'm obsessed with that movie too. What the F? Is the name of it? It's um, yes, I know exactly what you're talking about.

Speaker 2: 32:41

And then she's like Gildan's mustard, yes, and she comes up with a campaign like number two, and that ain't bad, yep. And then, um, there's the one with what's his name, with the dark hair, what women want, and then, oh my god, yes, thank you. Obsessed, obsessed. And those two movies, for whatever reason, like that, specifically that mustard, like this idea of, like creative concept, and like number two, and that ain't bad. I was really obsessed with that. I ended up going into retail because I got recruited to it, but it's no shock to me that I'm back here because my brain just thinks of that stuff all day long I'll look at somebody's logo and be like remember the Buzzsprout logo?

Speaker 2: 33:30

Oh my God, they tried to change that, but I was obsessed with it. Because I'm like oh my God, but I was obsessed with it Cause I'm like did nobody in the meeting say what are we doing with this previous logo? It looked so phallic. It did. It looks like.

Speaker 2: 33:43

I know it's a lighting bolt and completely on brand, yeah, where I'll see where people like change packaging. I watched this um fertility group that I love. I didn't have fertility issues, but I've been following them forever online because they make other supplements for women and they used to have. Their colors were purple and yellow and the way they worked together was so fun. And then they recently changed it to be a scrub green and my mind is like, as a fertility company, like would you make? Would you associate scrub green? That like that seems more like infertility and hospital. Yeah, but like my brain goes immediately down what path? I can't like pull myself out of it. Or I'll see like a logo going by on the side of the road and like what does that make me think of?

Speaker 1: 34:33

I feel like I'm definitely like that too. I feel like I give unsolicited marketing and sales advice everywhere I go.

Speaker 2: 34:39

On accident and on purpose.

Speaker 1: 34:41

No, mine's a hundred percent on purpose.

Speaker 2: 34:43

When I was in Lake Norman, summer was driving and she pulled over so I could. She noticed it and it was, for it was marketing for this part of the mall that was being redone. So it had huge fencing with like webbing through the fence so you couldn't see, but there was like they had purposely made these very thoughtful cutouts and there was a marketing message next to it and she was like you have to get a picture of that. And I wasn't even paying attention. I'm like this is so brilliant. But like she caught it and pulled over for me, I was like you're a love language for me right now. I'll share it. But I was like something about being so witty, like that, not saying I'm witty, but like I can't help but pay attention to like those thoughtful little quips or whatever. I live for it.

Speaker 1: 35:29

Yeah, same Okay, so what?

Speaker 2: 35:31

did you think you were going to be?

Speaker 1: 35:32

Like I said, a teacher. I really thought like kindergarten teacher.

Speaker 2: 35:41

I only know you in your adult life, but that seems like a stretch.

Speaker 1: 35:44

But here's the thing, okay.

Speaker 2: 35:46

Tell me about it.

Speaker 1: 35:47

I'm going to take it back to our first episode. It was either our first or second episode where we talked about the town that I grew up in. You go to school, you graduate college, you become a teacher, you get married when you're 22. That is truly a lot of where I come from. So I often wonder did I really want to be a teacher or did I just think that that was what I was supposed to do where I'm from? Yeah, If that makes any sense, Cause I'm like you know I can't.

Speaker 2: 36:24

That's just you know what that might be. That might be representation, not to be like cause. We're going to do this in a nonpolitical way, but this idea of like representation matters, whether it's like seeing women in, you know, like male dominated fields, but like I grew up in a small town too and if you only see the jobs being like the school nurse or the lunch lady or the teacher or working at the vet hospital, like that is kind of your idea of like what's available and I don't know, but you know it was ironic.

Speaker 1: 37:00

My mom was a lineman for the power company. So I mean, right, isn't that crazy. Yes, I don't know, I don't know where that came from, but yeah, I was hell bent. I mean I'm talking like, yeah, hell bent on, being a kindergarten teacher was hell bent. I mean I'm talking like, yeah, hell bent on being a kindergarten teacher but I'm really glad that I'm not, because you would have gone immediately I would have gone.

Speaker 2: 37:23

I have a friend who was a teacher and moved into the more like school district side and education side and like does more management of like funding and things like that you would have immediately gotten replaced.

Speaker 1: 37:34

Yeah, I just, I love, I love business. It's just, it's my jam. I love everything about it. I don't know. I love that we've taken like a, like a turn and talked about like college and like our younger, younger selves.

Speaker 2: 37:49

Well, I was well. So when I was at home too, I my favorite coffee mug is a UB mug. It's like a nice, it's a really big mug. My mom has two. But when I reached up and saw I was like how does she are these mine Like? Are these her mugs or my mugs?

Speaker 1: 38:05

Is Cindy sentimental? Like has she kept? Like your room intact and like all of your things?

Speaker 2: 38:10

No, she did for a little, and it's not which, thank God, because now that room that I had has like a king size bed, which is really where my jam is. Are you sentimental? I am very sentimental, but I'm a minimalist.

Speaker 1: 38:27

You are, and I love that about you because I'm not.

Speaker 2: 38:30

I am a minimalist and I'm sentimental. So, like, I do have like a coffee cup that was my grandfather's and I have like little things, but I don't hold onto this idea that everything means that person. So I can like let certain things go, but like, the coffee cup is important to me and I have a couple of sweatshirt Yep, the sweatshirt and I have. Um, when I was home I took some of my mom's jewelry back and some of it's just like costume jewelry that was my great grandmother's. But like, um, actually there was this is so interesting because you know how I am there was this star pendant that has a very dark piece of Jade inside of it. Ooh, I love Jade, same. So there's two. There was like a light Jade one and a dark, dark jade one, and I was like I wonder what that means and of course you know I'm the. Everything has meaning everything's an angel, everything's. So I asked chat chip tea and dark dark jade. It means spiritual protection and I was like it's the same as the evil eye and all the other things. And so it was like you're not gonna wear this and make me this. Oh, I love that it found you.

Speaker 2: 39:36

And then these hoops that I just recently switched to were. I also found them. They were literally the ones that my mom wore all through when I was growing up. She always had them in, so we came across them in one of her jewelry boxes and I was like are you going to wear these? And she's like if you're going to wear them, take them. I don't want them. I was like, but this is the pair you always wore, so now I put them in.

Speaker 1: 39:57

I love that I am sentimental, like that. I'm very sentimental. So my mother is not. She threw everything away, like to the point that I mean I had like a meltdown one time when I went home because I was like you threw everything away. She just doesn't, she hates stuff.

Speaker 2: 40:15

She hates stuff. I have my varsity jacket. I have my warm-ups from my club and my high school no. My mom has the important things in a little.

Speaker 1: 40:27

I honestly had the thought this morning. I wonder if my yearbooks are somewhere in my home.

Speaker 2: 40:32

I have my yearbooks here.

Speaker 1: 40:33

I think she threw all those away too. She's just not a stuff person.

Speaker 2: 40:37

My mom handed a few things off, and I do have my yearbooks.

Speaker 1: 40:40

So I'm the opposite. So I legit keep everything for my daughter Like I'm that person every five years and we're coming up on she's about to be 10. So I'm going to make her another one. I do quilts of her clothes that she wears. So I've been saving clothes since she was five and I'll do another quilt. I save probably 50% of her artwork that I have like jammed in ballet slippers. I mean it is excessive. So yesterday oh, that is probably we started purging her room and I'm like, clark, we've, we've got to get rid of some of these stuffed animals. Because I look at your kids rooms I'm like, why, why can my life not look like that?

Speaker 2: 41:30

my kids room looks crazy sometimes. I mean, I'm no, I don't there are stuffed animals in the closet.

Speaker 1: 41:36

There's, I know but it's so like organized and like whatever. But here's the challenge with my sweet daughter She'll, I'm like, let's get rid of this one. She's like, oh, but we won this at the fair and grandma was with us, and I'm like, so it's every piece of thing in her room that she knows who gave it to her, she has a story about it, she knows when she got it, and then she feels bad giving it away because she's like, well, they gave it to me. Like even yesterday she was like talking to me. She said, well, here, why don't you give this to Rebecca? It's hot pink Like, she's that thoughtful, like, and I love it. But I'm like I am drowning in shit at my house. Like, legitimately, I need you to come, maria Kondo. My house, I can't, I can't with it anymore.

Speaker 2: 42:28

It's so bad. The worst part I'm like we can definitely do that, but there's a part of me that's just like that. I know deeply in my soul that this thing doesn't represent this person.

Speaker 1: 42:41

Come tell my mom that, come tell my daughter. I would really appreciate that.

Speaker 2: 42:47

I have to tell you, first I will pick like certain things that I am like unwilling to like leave part with, basically, but then I have other things where I'm like it's really important to me that I get my own Cause. Sometimes I feel like when you hold on to things that are from the past like some people will hold on to all of the furniture somebody had I had a neighbor who moved out recently that had all of the furniture from her parents Like what, at what point are you allowed to then also have like your own self-expression and your own things and like I agree.

Speaker 2: 43:22

Yeah, I had to part with a dining room table that was cherry. I didn't have to, I felt the need to. I was afraid to tell my parents that I was going to let go of this dining room table that was cherry, but I also didn't serve me like it. I didn't like using it. It was oval, it didn't fit my space. Well, it was really frustrating. Um, I had to come up with ideas to paint it and everyone had kind of flipped out about it and the house that it went to took it completely apart and made it into a gorgeous TV stand that I could have never like. She sent me pictures like a year later. Her dad was a tinkerer and so she gave it to him as a project and he completely and made it this incredible TV stand and I was like, okay, that gives me peace, but I will hold on, like the craft drawer that's in the office. It's from my grandfather.

Speaker 1: 44:14

I love that. That's a great piece too.

Speaker 2: 44:16

But it's just like I'm like a sprinkling of things, it's good.

Speaker 1: 44:21

Yeah, because I tell you, my great uncle passed away in I guess it was 2018 and I handled his estate sale. And let me tell you something Nobody wants that shit. Nobody wants it. I mean, it comes down to like you're standing in a room of you know things that people worked their lives to pay for and buy, right, and then here it is, you're marking it down to two dollars because you're trying to get rid of it and it just becomes like so that really I will say that put things in perspective for me with just stuff like furniture.

Speaker 2: 45:04

If somebody had to sort out my things like, what would? I do definitely like think about that, Like what do you like?

Speaker 1: 45:12

what do you mean?

Speaker 2: 45:13

Like first of all, I wouldn't want them to be drowning in, like I wouldn't want it to be so full that one of my children is so overwhelmed by that task. I feel like that's really unfair. So I do think about that a lot. We have a family member who is a big keeper of things and I'm like that's a lot of pressure, should something happen, to have to sort through. Like that feels unfair. Yeah, especially if you don't have the tools, like let's say, where my brothers and I like I don't know if one of my brothers has the tools to go through those things and let a certain amount of appropriate things go. You know that takes a certain amount of growth, yeah, or mindset or whatever I mean you just I think about what it would be like to task someone with that, and then with the girls.

Speaker 2: 46:02

I mean I'm a big like we had the moment, we had the whatever. But if we want different things or we want to grow or we want more things, we have to decide that at some point we are done with this and it's not the memory we get to keep the memory yeah, but we're working on that in my house the drowning I did watch a lot of hoarders, though, in high school.

Speaker 2: 46:27

That show gives me the creeps same, but they're the idea that you can actually accidentally drown yourself in your own things very much like stuck with me.

Speaker 1: 46:37

But I love a purge. Do you love a purge?

Speaker 2: 46:40

I am the queen of purging. When I get stressed, my mom will be like I don't even know where you're finding things to throw out.

Speaker 1: 46:48

Yeah, I stress clean. I'm like that too, like if I am feeling like I need to channel, like stress or whatever. I'm definitely a person who, like, I'm going to clean out the spice cabinet.

Speaker 2: 46:59

Well, I'm a big like um. I had another incident that happened in my adult life where it was in New York and actually it was the flood, the. It was a hurricane I don't remember what the name of it was that came through like Coney Island in New York city and like it was hurricane Sandy. I worked that hurricane, yeah, hurricane Sandy. So one of my very good friends at the time like we were working for loft, we were very close she lost her house to the hurricane in Binghamton and she's called me from her front yard and said she was hysterical.

Speaker 2: 47:33

She was like they're shit Christmas ornaments and all of my things are all over my front yard. And I just then, when we moved here like I I can literally hear her to this day being hysterical about her things in her front yard, cause she was the police basically came to her door and like boats and said, like now's the moment you have to go, like you cannot stay a minute longer and they lost everything. And like I always think about like her and her Christmas ornaments on her front lawn. And so whenever we get close to hurricane season, I'm like I'm not picking this up off the lawn, I'm not picking this up off the lawn. And then that's how I choose what goes. I'm like you can either it can either fit in the back of your truck when you have to leave, or you are picking it up off the front lawn, yep. And so then that's how I decide those categories.

Speaker 1: 48:18

I really like that. That's I need you to come to my home and that's why I have the binder.

Speaker 2: 48:25

Your binder is like that is everybody, everybody's birth certificate, everybody's passport, everybody's last vaccination record. The binder comes wherever, like that's an, that's a quick grab. I'm not leaving it in a fire or anything because I don't know how else to get that information back. I have to take the binder. Yeah, you're very organized. I need to get it, need to get it together. It probably needs a little bit of love. But I didn't realize we were going to start hurricane season in, uh, july, basically.

Speaker 1: 48:53

So I know that's yeah debbie.

Speaker 2: 48:55

But yeah, no, I think of oc nelly telling me and that she was picking stuff out of her front yard and I'm like, would I want to have to pick this up with poop on it out of my front yard? No, but it made an impact on me.

Speaker 1: 49:10

We've gone wild today.

Speaker 2: 49:13

Today's the mayhem yep, yep, and then we're back with a guest.

Speaker 1: 49:19

Yes, and we're working on more guests and there's some great guests.

Speaker 2: 49:23

I'm so excited for fall.

Speaker 1: 49:24

I'm already working on like season finale things. We're working on season finale.

Speaker 2: 49:29

We like literally set up guests for how you're going to plan your impact in 2025. We're already talking about guests to help you, like, decipher your new year goals, like we're who are we? Who are we right now? It must be back to school.

Speaker 1: 49:45

Back to school, back to routine. I love it. All right, guys. Thanks for tuning in and we will see you next week.