(IHMIY) Self-Doubt, Sales, and Inner Strength - Ep 2
Feb 19, 2024
This week, I had a moment of doubt creep in.
As somebody that is inherently optimistic, positive and energetic, this is an infrequent experience for me. The toll of business however, can get the better of me and it reminds me of the human being that I am, and how it can't always feel breezy and that even with bouts of resilience and positivity, there will be moments of doubt.
In this episode, I talk about where that doubt has crept in, how it's affected me and what I did about it. And you'll hear me talking my way back out of it, claiming back my inner resilience and not letting any lack of sales pull me down.
(If you haven't listened to the first episode of "I Haven't Made It Yet", head back to Episode 1 here)
As somebody that is inherently optimistic, positive and energetic, this is an infrequent experience for me. The toll of business however, can get the better of me and it reminds me of the human being that I am, and how it can't always feel breezy and that even with bouts of resilience and positivity, there will be moments of doubt.
In this episode, I talk about where that doubt has crept in, how it's affected me and what I did about it. And you'll hear me talking my way back out of it, claiming back my inner resilience and not letting any lack of sales pull me down.
(If you haven't listened to the first episode of "I Haven't Made It Yet", head back to Episode 1 here)
This week we are looking at the idea of self-doubt as I start to explore this second episode of I Haven't Made it Yet Following being on the retreat last weekend, like full of energy, surrounded by lots of people doing very well or already having accomplished stuff in their business, despite not being at the same level. There wasn't any self-doubt creeping up that weekend. It was just a case of being around those people all working on their businesses, sharing ideas, being interested in one another. It was empowering. But literally just over 24 hours after that or so came a whole bout of self-doubt and concerned about like, what am I doing? Is this working? Am I on the right path? And part of that comes from a lack of sales at this point in time.
Speaker 1:
I'm not put off by that entirely, but it does sit in your mind and it's something I've been thinking about, because the method that I think is definitely the right thing to do at this stage is high ticket, low volume. So I know that my good bit of best, my good bit of best, targets the good is the most, in my head, realistic, because when you first start out, I've got to re-establish myself. I am refining my offer. I'm defining and refining my offer in exactly what that looks like and what's best, and just at that target, just at that good goal which so that you know complete transparency is 50K and the reason for that number is when you work backwards from it it makes sense. It would replace what my old income was. I still do work as a supply teacher and some consultants. You work actually too now, so I have other revenue streams at this point for my own income, so that kind of would sit independently. So to me that sounded reasonable and when you acknowledge that sort of the average cost between the programs is about 4K, it makes it very easy to say well, that's 12 people and that's one a month, and that is a lovely, nice, reasonable number, and actually go one a month doesn't feel too challenging. It's reasonable and at this stage I don't know how many numbers backwards that means I need in terms of how many people do I need don't cause each month. How many people therefore do I need coming in as leads, etc. It's all about keeping it realistic whilst ultimately being an experimentation phase, because you don't know, you don't know the numbers on it, you don't know all the answers yet. So, taking a realistic approach whilst having some better and best goals thrown in there, just in case you really hit it off. Like, imagine if I nailed the messaging and the offer and getting in front of the right people, like this month, then there's every possibility that you could totally smash that target and have something else then to literally go okay, that was my good goal, let's move on. But with those numbers in mind and the average of one sale a month, let's take that linearly I am a maths teacher after all like if you were getting that one sale a month, that's one sale every month in a month that averages 30 days and 29 days of not making a sale and that, if it even followed.
Speaker 1:
That is really hard, no-transcript. It's the same as when you get paid at work. Right, you get paid when you have a PAY job most people, unless you're lucky, like I was in theatre but, um, you usually get paid once a month, so you know when that month is. That day is coming in the month, your paycheck falls in to your bank account and you've got your money. You got a bit of a high as you spend that week, usually spending it, and then you've got a few weeks to get through. You can budget, you know to get there and you've just got, you've just got to wait, you've just got to wait, and it's not going to be that long. It's going to be another three weeks after that, and that's when the next one will be in.
Speaker 1:
When it comes to this, though, that one a month being an average doesn't mean it's guaranteed and so you can go those 29 days waiting for the next sale, but it could be into the 30s, the 40s, the 50s, which, at this stage in the business, makes sense, because Average is average. That doesn't mean it won't get skewed. There's going to be some sort of urgency for people that had it on their list for 2024 and realise that time is running out by 2025, so there will be a natural skew towards the end of the year there, and some would say, well, you need to create the urgency earlier. Very true, I can sit there and do that, and, again, that comes down to messaging, comes down to refining the offer, and I also acknowledge that there's so many things that I need to do. For example, I've been working on sales. I feel like I could close, I can close, I have closed people. I feel like I'm starting to get to groups with having sales conversations. I think there is some conversion messaging to work on in terms of content. I'm good at content for getting attention, for developing leads, but there's a bit, there's a piece definitely there in terms of moving people through the pipeline, as it were. So there's lots of things that I can do because, ultimately, any doubt that creeps up.
Speaker 1:
I started this by saying it was about self doubt, and initially, I didn't start my feelings off as doubt. It was kind of doubt around the process and the business, because you're like, oh, like, what is going on and I don't know all the answers yet, and as much as people say, you know, sales is most important or generating leads is most important, like it's all a system that has to work together. There's no way that you can, no way you can do one bit without the other. Long term, as it were, it's a case of building it all up. So what it transpired to, though, was the self doubt, because I was like well, I can't control all of the outcomes, I don't know who I'm going to come across, I don't know who's going to move towards me, but what I can do is start focusing on myself, and that means taking a look at my habits and my behaviors. What do I put off? What do I do? What am I working on? What am I learning like? It is an incredibly big uphill learning curve and it has been ever since I delved into this in 2021, but there are times when it gets the better of me.
Speaker 1:
I'm, by default if you've ever met me in person and maybe you feel this way just by listening I am an incredibly positive person and I don't mean that in a toxic way. I also appreciate when times are naff. They're naff, but I am, generally speaking, very easily a glass half full person. There's not a lot that makes me go, ooh, this is real bad like and this is gonna be terrible forever. Even in my loneliest of times, when I was experiencing that through my previous divorce, through being on my own, not feeling, I had certain connections in my life that I wanted like, no matter how bad that was, I could always see through it and be like you're gonna get through it and this is just a feeling and a phase and as long as you keep doing what you need to do like, things will improve. This is just for now, and those times, in terms of emotions, were a lot worse than feeling a little bit of doubt in the process of what I'm doing now.
Speaker 1:
So I always know I can get through that and you can hear already that I'm talking myself into the positivity of it, or the hope, at least the optimist. But there are days where that optimism doesn't come through and I think other people from people that I speak to, that's more common than I experience it. So maybe people are used to that more than me. I've always deemed that having a positive outlook, being optimistic and having that naturally I don't know where it comes from, I don't know that it's cultivated per se, it just is. I smile a lot.
Speaker 1:
People always go how do you keep it all up? I don't know, it's just normal generally speaking. So maybe I'm not then used to experiencing that. Ooh, what's this doubt or this worry that's creeping in quite so much? It doesn't wipe me out. I'll admit that and I don't let it spiral. I will actively do stuff about it and I can tell when I'm there.
Speaker 1:
I know when I'm there, but being able to express it and talk out loud is important and, by the way, this is not the version of me expressing it and talking out loud. This is the version where I talk about it because I feel I've addressed at least enough of it to talk about it and want to share it, because I can only imagine that we all feel and experience that self-doubt at some point, that we are worried that we're not gonna, not gonna make. It is not my default, but I feel like, given the title of these little episodes, it makes sense like that we're not gonna achieve our financial goals to be able to serve our lifestyle goals and our personal goals and what we really wanna do with the impact of our business, both on our personal lives and with the wider world. I think it's normal, especially in the early stages. I don't know, I've not been at the latest stages to know, but at the early stages I wonder if it's where you have the most doubt, because you have little to no proof of being able to do it yet. But what I realized was is that if I doubt the business, then I am doubting myself, because the success of the business is down to a decision about my actions. It's down to, as I mentioned, the habits that I get into on a daily to weekly basis. It is the actions I take towards making the business a success in terms of what I talk about it and what success means to me.
Speaker 1:
Because if I realize that an idea isn't working, then I need to think carefully about what's not working. Is it that I don't yet have the skill set? Is it that I haven't yet developed quite the right thing? Is it that I'm not showing up in the way that I need to in the business? Or is it genuinely just not a good idea? Is it not got legs? It's not got proof of concept? There's a balance to be had and there are always external circumstances to think about.
Speaker 1:
But at the same time I still know I'm early to this game in general, early in the business. It's only been going very specifically this in September but also myself that I'm early to the game of business, bearing in mind that when I first started delving into business I was still teaching full time and I did that initially for sort of six to nine months. Then I became free of that full time job, but I've always still had a part time job. So you're working on. Well, if you work weekends, then you're on a five seven basis. If you're working on just Monday to Friday, then I'm working on a three fifth basis. I'm only operating at 60%, because those other two days are spent elsewhere, generating income elsewhere and keeping me afloat. So there's always that cap as well. So it's not like I've had a solid. What would it be? Two years in business that's still been capped.
Speaker 1:
And I would admit as well, in the first year I kind of took it as a sort of like an easy it's not how it's gonna call it like a retirement. It felt like retirement at the time. I'll talk about that in future episodes but it was a bit like a gap year. I still ran the business, learned about techniques, tried to push it, learned what didn't work. It was all an experience. But I also I'm not gonna add it I still had plenty of trips and they formed part of the business, because it was all about solo trips in part, going and exploring, but business wasn't the focus. If I look at really what I'm doing this year, like 2024 is the year of it's called the word of the year is discipline, because I know that there needs to be the routine, there needs to be the focus, there needs to be the constantly working on it during the hours that are allocated to it. And that's where I'm at and it's still a development. It's still something I'm learning, developing skills in, and I've come along like having a sales process. Being able to have sales conversations is great.
Speaker 1:
I was at the networking event networking meetup event, whatever you'd like to call it from Lisa Johnson for her, that strategy club oh God, she's got so many different words for the ends and I'm never sure which one, but anyway, the membership one that you pay monthly for. She was at a meetup in Manchester and when you're introducing what you do, I'm saying, oh, teach people how to get more leads through podcasting. People like I love that. That is succinct. I wish I could say it as easily as that. And I'm like I know, and it's taken me years to get used to saying something as succinct, as limiting, arguably because we all freak out around niching, but I know it definitely works and I know what it feels like to be in that stage. So I know I've come along in that sense. And even when someone says, well, how did you get into it? Well, in fact, someone asked me what's your store? Enough for all God. I've had a podcast for over a hundred episodes which predominantly weaves in my story, where you could be here for hours. I said, let me give you the short version, and I swear to you I kept it Under, I reckon, 90 seconds. It didn't go on that long. She was like oh, I love how you told that so simply, and that comes from the fact I've told it 100 million times and that's the same for business. Like I need to do what I'm doing 100 million times to get good at it.
Speaker 1:
Sales practice is occurring. I'm building up the reps, creating content in a slightly different context. I've got many reps under my belt, but you can always keep pushing. Just because you got to one level doesn't mean there isn't another level to get to after that. And then in terms of converting, that's just another area like conversion, content, activating that in people. That is an area I'm working on.
Speaker 1:
So when I think for a moment that this might not work. What are we doing? Like, when's the next sale coming in, which I don't want to get focused on, because I also don't want to get focused on the fact that sale hasn't come in. I am genuinely worried that if I focus on that, my energy is going to be off. So I know there needs to be some level of faith and a little bit more detachment on that I'm making sure that when I do go into conversations that we're operating from lack of, as Matthew Elwell would say, a 10 out of 10 energy like we are not associating with that. So that's definitely an area to work on too, but making sure that I'm doing all the little things to keep everything moving along.
Speaker 1:
I've always been strategic. I will continue to be strategic, but also keep developing, focusing, moving through and experimenting. It's all an experiment. You don't know what works and doesn't work until you try it. You have to put yourself out there. God. The comfort zone is expanding An alarming rate every time I jump out the bloody thing. But I'm not going to sit there and worry. I'm going to sit there and go. I'm fully capable of this and you know it. You just got to get your head down and get on with it. Keep trying stuff out. Focus on the little one per cent, because there's not a big change you need to make. You just need to keep going. Keep those one per cent. Pay attention in case there are slight angles to change, little pivots to make nothing big.
Speaker 1:
But I don't not believe in myself. I don't not believe that I have the capabilities to do this. It may take some time. But if there's one thing that I can rely on is that I can do this. I can work this out, I can learn, I can grow, I can develop and it will happen. It might take one month, it might take one year, it might take longer, but there will be a point where things just do move and you're like, oh, that has all worked all together at the right time. Oh, okay. So any time that I think I'm worried, I think it's to allow that because that's kind of natural, especially when something's new. But always coming back to the fact that if I doubt the business, am I doubting myself, and I don't like to doubt myself and my capabilities if there's one thing. So that is my little experience of that.
Speaker 1:
It was a lot tougher in the moment to work through that and I think there's value in talking it out loud, talked about it to my partner Didn't quite express it. I mean, a child asked me how the business was going and I am very good at keeping things. You know, teach a professional, let's call it that and I was like, well, this is the sitch. It's like a very, very quick version of this podcast, but explained high ticket, low volume, and this child has an interest in business anyway. So they were intrigued by the whole concept and they're like oh yeah, it just doesn't feel right, does it? I was like, no, no, it doesn't. And it makes you. It makes your confidence waver. But even just talking it out loud a couple of times, I don't think it mattered to who.
Speaker 1:
Expressing things like that definitely helped, because it's a problem shared, is a problem halved. You just don't feel like you're alone in it and hopefully by hearing this you will feel the same, that maybe you need to speak it out to someone to halve your problem, to halve the weight of your problem, or just listening and you go oh, it's not just me. I feel that all the time, or regularly, we're all going through it at some point. I don't think it disappears Once you have inverted commas, made it or got to a certain level. I just think the doubt appears in a different form, because I'm different. But I'm here talking about the bit where you don't know if it's working and you can't see lots of tangible results straight away and you've got to have, I would argue, the strongest bit of faith at this point. Let me know if you're going through anything similar, if you have before any techniques are getting for it, drop into the DMs and let's start talking about it, rather than keeping it to ourselves and spiraling out of control. And see you next time.