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FLIPPED Mindset Podcast
Welcome to FLiPPED Mindset Podcast! Your perception shapes your reality! Join us on a journey of self-discovery, changing perspectives, and creating the life of your dreams. Let's explore, understand, and have some fun along the way!
FLIPPED Mindset Podcast
Episode 11: Hello Ego!: Becoming your best friend
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Ever felt like you're at war with yourself? In a truly transformative episode of the Flipped Mindset Podcast, we dissect the eternal struggle between the ego and the soul. Discover the enlightening process of awakening where the soul, often overshadowed by the ego, emerges to guide us towards authentic personal growth.
Buckle up for a deep exploration of the self, where the battleground of introspection reveals the ego and soul in their perpetual tug-of-war. We share our experiences and insights into the essential act of confronting feelings head-on, selecting life's challenges, and mastering the lessons they present.
We discuss the transformative power of self-knowledge, self-love, and the strategies that can serve as your lifeline in reprogramming the ego. Join us on this journey and equip yourself with the tools for maintaining inner peace in the face of life's challenges.
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Exploring Soul and Ego Work
Speaker 1Welcome to the Flipped Mindset Podcast .
Speaker 1Hi , I'm Janet . Welcome to my podcast , where I believe you change your mindset , you change your life , all right . So today we have one , an episode that's a little different . Me and Brenda actually recorded this a while ago and it was originally set to be episode four . So it was gonna come back after episode three , which was the self-talk , negative self-talk and we just did .
Speaker 1I didn't put this out then . I was . I kind of felt like it wasn't , I wasn't ready to put it out yet . So now it's ready , I'm ready . It's more like I'm ready . I haven't really changed it much , so I'm ready to put it out , and we just did . If you follow along on Facebook , on the Flipped Mindset Podcast or Instagram , either one of those we just put out , we've been doing catch-up weeks on the weeks that I'm not getting putting out podcasts , and so we just did one on the negative self-talk and the bonus where we talk about . We talk about negative self-talk , what it is , why it's important to be aware of your negative self-talk , and then some ideas and how tos . So if you haven't listened to that one , go back and listen to it . So that was kind of the preamp to this one , and there are reasons why I didn't put it out until now , but now I'm ready and I'm gonna put it out . So what I'm gonna do is kind of hand this over and I'm gonna cut in the podcast that me and Brenda did . There will be a little bit of editing on it , just because there has been a lot of growth and understanding between when we did that to now .
Speaker 1This is something . It's kind of a different take or a different way of looking . It's something I learned and I'm continuing to grow in this area because I'm really passionate about it . I've seen it change , not only my life , but people around me and people that I'm working with , and it's gonna be something I work with on my coaching business and things like that . So I'm gonna hand this over to me and Brenda .
Speaker 1One of the other things I wanted to say real quick is we're talking about ego , and when we talk , when we're talking about ego , we're talking about it in a spiritual way , not necessarily like the psychology way with the . There's some other ways of thinking about ego , so we're just talking about it in that way . So , without further ado , I'm gonna hand this over to me and Brenda , and I will . I hope you guys enjoy and I'll talk to you later . Okay , here we go . Welcome to the Flipped Mindset Podcast . Hi , I'm Janet and I'm Brenda . Welcome to our podcast , where we're being wonderfully weird . I'm brave . It's been a minute since we recorded , so we're a little rusty . I think the last time we recorded it didn't record .
Speaker 1So this is kind of a rerecord of something we did , so we'll just jump right into it .
Speaker 1Yeah , let's just jump right in Soul work and ego . Soul and ego work , soul and ego work . So this is something I've been talking about and teasing everybody with . So we're actually gonna start jumping into the soul and ego . What is it ? What is some of the work we can start doing around it and why is it so important ? So the last time we talked , we talked about self-talk and why having good self-talk and what that looks like .
Speaker 1So now going into the ego , so this is what I believe anyway , right ? So like a little like when you like , putting a little notice out right ? So this podcast and I've been wanting to put this out there for a little bit is all about what we think and what we feel , and if it resonates with you , that's awesome . Take what resonates with you . If it doesn't resonate with you , that's fine . I'm not . We're not here to try to convert people over into our beliefs . We're not trying to get followers . We're just putting information out there and maybe , in the way you know , that it just like connects with somebody . So , with that , because we're gonna jump into some stuff , that's yes . So here's my understanding and here's what I've heard and what I believe .
Speaker 1So when we're first , we're first created . The ego is here . First , the ego is part of the body . Like you know , we're human beings , we're mind , body , spirit . So , like , the ego's part of that is making sure that basically , it's here for us to survive , it wants to make us survive and here to help us survive . Now , at one point , our soul will come into our bodies . And when our soul comes in , the ego is like who the heck are you ? What are you doing here ? We're in the corner . So our soul's , like our soul's just okay , I'll go over here . This is , you know , sweet little soul , little little soul .
Speaker 1And usually what happens and you can talk to . You know you find this everywhere of different , you know things , but basically your soul kind of stays quiet and sits in the back , unless the ego do its thing , until you , until you basically go through an awakening and then you know , you get to a certain point and your soul steps in . Maybe your soul starts to step in and it's like , hey , a starts nudging you in certain ways . You need to start doing this . This is , you know , until you have kind of a wake up call , then your ego , or your soul , kind of comes into play a little bit more . So with our ego so that's one thing we got to realize is so we're this multifaction kind of person being that we are , and so our ego also one of our things . With our ego , our ego learns how to do things . When we're children , so when we're young , is when it starts to just , you know , figure out how we're going to manage these situations . And if we think about , like when we were , you know , back in the day , in cavemen and all that stuff , there's lots of dangers everywhere , right ? So that's the , you know , the fight , flight , freeze . Everybody always talks about all those things . Those are like what your ego has done to protect you and we're used to like it being the bear a bear , they were too tiger or whatever . And now you know you fast forward into our lives . Now we don't have as much danger out there , but our ego is still going to protect us and our and our ego also likes to keep us in our comfort zone .
Speaker 1It doesn't like for us to be uncomfortable . So anytime you're uncomfortable , your ego gets triggered and your ego is going to come to light and try to get you turn it around for you . And you know that's why a lot of people will , when they start getting uncomfortable , like think about going through a divorce or a death or something like that . Some people will start turning into drinking or drugs or sex or any of these things that would . That will make them comfortable , because they don't want to be uncomfortable . But when you're uncomfortable , that's where you grow . You grow in your uncomfortable , in your own comfort zone . Nothing grows in the comfort zone at all . So it's one of these things that we get to learn that it's okay to be uncomfortable .
Speaker 1So with the ego , the thing is , we can talk to the ego . The ego is running on this . It's programmed , like think it's programmed and it's running off that program . We have to kind of stop it a little bit and say , hey , ego , guess what ? You're not alone anymore . Hey , here there's a soul , we're a unit . Now we're working together as a team and sometimes the ego is very relieved to be realized that it's not alone anymore . And then what we can start to do is we can start creating a relationship with our ego and become kind of best friends with ourselves .
Speaker 1So that's kind of like the biggest thing that , like one of mine , the work that I do is trying to help people in becoming friends with their ego and how to do that and how to like how it helped you in the day to day life and moving forward . Because the biggest thing is when we're trying to change things and you're trying to change your habits and change your behaviors and you want to become a better person . But usually we fail . It's because we're fighting ourselves . We're our own worst enemy , we're the ones that are doing this to ourselves and we're stopping ourselves because it becomes uncomfortable . So our ego starts to come into play and be like , no , we're uncomfortable , so no , we want to sit on the couch , we don't want to go work out today because it hurts too much , it's uncomfortable , so we're going to sit on the couch . So it's like if you can get your ego on board with you , it's a lot easier to work through these things that you need to work through .
Speaker 2Or trying new things . That's what I was saying . If the ego will push up against you . Trying new things . Well , you're not going to do that . You're not going to be good at it . You don't want to do that . You better just stay home . Yeah .
Speaker 1Yeah , those are . And that goes back to like what we talked about before on the self-talk . You can tell when your ego is talking to you versus when your soul is talking to you , because you'll hear the eyes . You're not good at it , like you're just saying I don't deserve to go out . I mean , sit on the couch . All the eyes , eyes , eyes , and your soul is the use . If you ever talk to yourself , man , you look good . Today , you're awesome .
Speaker 1When you hear that , that's your soul talking to you , so you can even just start to pay attention to the words that you're using . And , again , it's programmed . So your ego is programmed , based by the society programming and that's why we have the whole thing where we always talk bad about ourselves . We have the negative self-talk . You can start like being aware , that's like the biggest step in anything right , it's the awareness . So start being aware of the conversations that you're having and you can start to notice like , oh , that's my ego , hey , ego , what's going on and that's one thing too is people don't realize . You can have that conversation with your ego .
Speaker 2Yeah , absolutely you can be like you can name or him or her , or you can just say ego , your trigger , let's what's going on . Talk to me , you know what I mean . It sounds funny , but once you get to that point where you realize that you have a soul and your ego and it's you , and it's like this unity , it gets a lot easier it really does .
Speaker 1And then also , when you start treating your ego like your best friend , one of the things is like hey , ego , what's going on ? Now you can kind of remove yourself . You can like , as everybody always talks , it talks about , like , observing your emotions , not being your emotions . Well , one of the ways that can help is stepping back and going hey , ego , I see your triggered , what's going on Now ? You can talk to him like your best friend . When your best friend's having a mental breakdown , it's easy to be more observant and being clear-headed because you're just talking to your best friend . So when you talk to the ego , it also allows you like , when you feel your ego triggered , you know oh , this is something I haven't healed yet , this is something let's have a talk , let's figure it out . And sometimes you can really get to the root of a lot of things if you can have that conversation and open up that friendship .
Speaker 1And then when you start loving that oh , it so goes , it plays into self-love Then you start loving yourself more because you're treating yourself nicely . You won't disrespect yourself nicely or as much , right ? So that's one of the things that we tend to do we're broken and then we end up hurting other people or we disrespect ourselves . Like me , I used to be a big people pleaser and I would always . It was always about everybody else and I was disrespecting myself all the time , Put myself last and taking care of everybody else , and I always felt crappy and I didn't have any of my energy . And all that because it was taken all the time and then I kept wondering what was going on . And then one of the things I learned this with the ego and how to talk to myself , sort of being like , oh yeah , I don't want to disrespect myself , I love myself . So it can really change the way you start perceiving yourself as a person and finding out when the ego is engaged into your ego , being friends with your ego .
Speaker 2Kind of cool . Yeah , it really is . And it's really a game changer too , especially in my situation , going through grief and stuff , because my ego will get triggered on small things , what other people would perceive as small things , and not at first not realizing that my ego was triggered . And now that I talk to her her name is Fiona I'm like Fiona , hold on , we're triggered , let's go . What's going to happen , what's going on and stuff . So I'm able to kind of pull some of myself out and be an observer and be like oh okay , I get it . Yeah , there was a loud noise down the hall and that scared me .
Speaker 2Like okay , yeah , I see where you're triggered . Now we're going to work through that Loud noise has triggered me , but yeah , that's why I put it that way .
Speaker 1Well , the other thing , too , is you can help heal yourself because really , you know a lot of the healing can happen .
Speaker 1And you can heal yourself by saying you're valid in feeling that way and even like too , like when we go through traumatic experiences and things like that it's unfair .
Speaker 1You can talk to yourself and it's unfair and allow yourself to kind of let go of these things , especially when you're like dealing with people that treated you horribly , that are never going to come back and say I'm sorry , I treated you bad , I should have never done that . That's you know , sometimes that's never going to happen . But you can talk to yourself and give yourself that validation and say you know you're very valid to feel upset and mad in this , you know , and giving yourself that permission to feel the emotion and be like , yeah , that's fucking unfair , it's , that is a fucking shitty ass thing that happened to you and I'm sorry that it happened to you , and then allow yourself to feel it . And of course , they always say you've got to feel it to heal it and it really means like , once you can feel it and you cry or you anger , however you got to do to process it . You're going to feel better afterwards , because you let it go .
Speaker 1You can release it because you felt it , and if you don't feel it , it's just going to sit there and fester and , like I always say , it's going to bring its buddies shame , guilt , regret , all those other ones , and they're going to mull you in a , in an alley , when you're not Exactly and you know society says you know sign a weakness is like showing your feelings and stuff .
The Power of Embracing Emotions
Speaker 2Yeah , it's actually a sign of strength that you show your feelings and are okay with in tune with your feelings and stuff like that . We have it backwards , so we totally have it . Society , this group , that they tell us that's totally right .
Speaker 1It is backwards and we feel like we feel shameful if we show our emotions and because , if we think about it , showing your emotions is a scary thing . So when you show your emotions , that's being strong and powerful . You know , hiding from your emotions are easy . So it's a sign of weakness because you're doing what the easy thing is is hiding your emotions , and you're also disrespecting yourself because you're not allowing yourself to show the emotion that you're actually feeling . So it's actually back ass words .
Speaker 2We've got it backwards .
Speaker 1So that's what this is all about is , you know , we've learned this and this has been helping us as we go through our lives , and so that's what we're hoping that this will help others as well to learn how to do that is . It will be a game changer , I know it helps us .
Speaker 2Yes , yeah , and these aren't easy things that we're asking if you want to go on this journey . It's not easy . It's not easy to see yourself as like a team and that your ego and your soul I mean . It's not easy and it's not easy to feel your feels . But if you don't , like Jane said , they will come back and it will be friends . Yes , and they're good friends .
Speaker 1And the thing is too like , if you think about it , everything's hard .
Speaker 2Yeah , pick your heart . You got to pick your heart , yeah we've talked about it .
Speaker 1I think it's a good time to reiterate that again . It's like , yeah , it's not easy . It's not easy to , by the way , tell you what it's so freeing . When you can talk to yourself , you can . You know it's a lot easier to not get a stressed or , just , you know , distressed or depressed . There we go . That's depressed or anxious and stuff like that , because you'd be like , hey ego , let's talk , let's figure this out . Like you know , I've been battling , being lonely this week .
Speaker 2Yeah .
Speaker 1You know , it's been a big thing for me is feeling lonely and not having people to talk to . So I've been talking to myself and be like it's okay . It's okay to be alone . I've got to feel this . This is , you know , what are we learning about this , this part of our life ? And it's actually been like one of the first times in my life I don't have a lot of people talking to me , I don't have a lot of people around . So it's , you know , my learning . But it's like , pick your heart Again , if I can either do this work and do the inner work and find my inner peace and find my inner joy , or I can do the other thing , which is distract myself and do all that and I'm going to be miserable .
Speaker 1Like both sides hard , yes . Then they . Like you know , being overweight is hard , being skinny is hard , being , you know , like it's hard . No matter what we choose , it's hard . What might be easy now is going to be harder later . Like you know , what might be hard now will become easy later . So you just got to pick . It's all you . You get to choose . That's where our power is . We get to choose how we're going to do this , how we move through life . I know sometimes we get caught up in the life just sucks and life just keeps beating me up . And one of the things , if life keeps beating you up , it's because it's a lesson you're not learning .
Speaker 2Yo , yes , that's a big thing yeah .
Speaker 1And when you're not learning the lesson because you're ego is like I know what I'm doing , I don't need this , I don't need anybody else , I don't need blah , blah , blah , whatever , that I don't need to feel my feels . I don't need to feel my feels . I got this , it's just yeah .
Speaker 2It's a cycle that you have to break .
Speaker 1It is a cycle , so it's like you know . Do you want to be living your life exactly like it is or do you want to make changes ? And most of us , we want to make the change . We just and we start to make the change , but we get in our own way .
Speaker 2And it's the ego . The biggest part is the ego is getting in your way because it wants you to be safe and like in your own comfort and I don't want to beat up on the ego , because the ego is doing its job .
Speaker 1It's doing its job hurts programming and .
Speaker 2So coming its best friend with you .
Understanding and Reprogramming the Ego
Speaker 2You can get it out of your way and you can work and you can reprogram it .
Speaker 1Yes , so you can reprogram it , and that's one thing too like , that's why a lot of people think the ego is very immature . It's when people turn into their image , you know , immature , like when you start to fight and somebody starts get , they start acting very Childish , throwing tantrums , things like that . But that's where the your ego got programmed when you're a young child , so that's how it knows how to handle these stressful situations , but it starts acting childish . You can also start to see when other people are in their egos and when you start how doing this work , sometimes it helps you to like be more compassionate to them , because you know they're triggered , they're in their ego . You can step back for a second and be like , okay , let's , let's , let's approach this in a different way .
Speaker 1But you can also reprogram your , your ego . So , let's say , when you use me as an example , one of the things is when I get in my feels and I get hurt , I Retreat . You know , I become very , you know , I just don't want to talk to anybody . I'm like , fuck it , I'm not talking to anybody , I hate everybody . No , I'm not doing anything .
Speaker 2Yes .
Speaker 1And so ? So one of the things is is for me , you know , I can reprogram my ego , having a conversation with my ego and doing it Not when I'm triggered . It's kind of the same thing when you have , you can have a conversation with your , your significant other , and be like hey , when you're triggered , what's the best way I can support you ? So it's kind of , it's kind of almost the same thing with your ego .
Speaker 1So it's like hey , ego , when you get triggered this way , the best way for you to support me is Contact my sister or color or do something like journals right .
Speaker 1Yeah , journal . However , whatever it is that that will comfort you , so that becomes your comfort , not the bad trait , or whether it's yelling at people or whatever . There's certain different ways you can definitely treat it . But trying to treat it like that little Will help and I know we'll go into more detail in the later ones , and it's something we're gonna keep building off of is because how do we talk to your ego ? How do you start that conversation ? You know and and you'll hear us too We'll talk to our egos like yeah they're almost like family members .
Speaker 1We talk about them .
Speaker 2Fiona , yeah , our cats scratching out the window .
Speaker 1Yeah , so there's a lot to it , but I think this is and I've heard it in multiple different ways and different ways that people talk about it . So , again , this is just what makes sense to me but works for me , what has worked for us , as we've worked through so much this last year well , another example I'm gonna catch you up for a second .
Speaker 2But my ego Fiona holds my inner child's hand , prona , and so in my inner child too , that's kind of advanced thing . But would she get triggered ? Ego Fiona gets triggered , and so I I'll realize that I'm doing something or about to do something that scares my inner child . So I'm like , so I've kind of got a second teammate too , anyway , so that's kind of how , yeah , another way I look at it too .
Speaker 1Yeah , yeah , because there's multi layers to everybody . And then being able to have those conversations with the little you Again going back and having those conversations of unfair what happened to you and and letting her know that you know you don't have to carry this around anymore , and there's a lot of stuff that makes it very freeing be able to let this stuff go , because we end up Holding on to all this shame and guilt and regret and we don't need to and we really , you know , and learning to like Let it go , set it down , walk away from it , because we don't want to live in our past , we want to live in our , in our present . Yeah , you know , we're just talking about that like , and a lot of this like finding that inner peace and inner happiness . It's inside you . You have all the answers .
Speaker 1Yeah and when you can be peaceful and you can be . It's not always gonna be perfect . Nothing's gonna ever be perfect . Life is gonna get hard , but when you know yourself and you love yourself and you have that harmony with your ego and stuff like that . When life like this last week was hard for both of us we had a really bad week this last week .
Speaker 1Mm-hmm but we were able to like . When your inner stuff can be peaceful , then it doesn't matter what the external is . You can always calm it down , not allow the external to be as you know , because otherwise you're just fighting fires all the time . You're just reacting to whatever is happening on the outside , versus looking in and been like , hey , let's calm down , let's slow down for a second , let's figure this out , let's what's our next step or how can we ? How can we ? You know , how can we handle this situation ? How's the best way for what's best for us to handle this situation ? That's the other thing . To stop the regret and guilt is like you just do what's best for you in the moment . That's the best you can do , because that's it with all the information you have , it's the best you can do . You can't . You can't get mad at yourself later . If you learn new stuff later , you then you change your mind .
Speaker 1That's a whole another topic that you know , but these are all different things and in learning to talk to your ego , bringing that up is it's been a game changer for me and you and Angel and some others that we've talked to as well . But it's not gonna be easy . None of the stuff we talk about is gonna be easy , but it's worth it . I think it's worth it because , I mean , I'm happier more times , like I can get back to . It's almost like life is up and down as a roller coaster , but you can find your baseline and my baseline is higher and I get back to my baseline a lot quicker . Yes , then then it is Before I'd like be chasing my tail and back and forth , and then I'm like , no , I can get back here and this is where I'm at . We're good , we can handle this .
Speaker 1I think it's too overwhelming . No , you have anything else to add ? This is a lot . This is pretty good . No , I think I like it . Okay , we're gonna end there for this one . We'll be back on for more . For sure , there's a lot to talk on this topic , so I just wanted to bring it up and start the conversation . So well , thank you for being here . It is always be brave . Be you Until next time . Stay wonderfully weird . Welcome to After Thoughts . This is Janet .
Speaker 1Really quick , I'm not gonna go into too much on this After Thoughts , because I did . I did kind of a preface beforehand . Again , we recorded this many months ago and A lot of things have changed since then . So the biggest thing I wanted to kind of talk about is I it's listening to this again today For the first time in a while . I wanted to .
Announcement of Ego Coaching Business
Speaker 1I started thinking about some things and I think I'm gonna do a little series on the ego series . But another big thing , or ? But I'm about to announce some big news . I'm gonna be , I'm have my coaching business and I'm gonna be opening it up to Till some new enrollments of people if they want to work with me , learn more about working with their ego . So I'm gonna have some more stuff that's gonna be announced soon . It's gonna be very exciting , but so , yeah , this is just the first part of it . Thank you for sticking with me . We'll be doing some more on this topic and going into more depth . So , all right , thanks for being with us and until next time .
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