Things You Should Know
Embarrassed Black Millennial Women
Join Traneisha and this week's guest, a fan favorite, Bria Amons, hours after the Trump Money trial as they discuss secondhand embarrassment, the intersectionality of blackness and womanhood, politics, and Things you should know!
Join Traneisha and this week's guest, a fan favorite, Bria Amons, hours after the Trump Money trial as they discuss secondhand embarrassment, the intersectionality of blackness and womanhood, politics, and Things you should know!
What's up everybody. This is Trenisha English and you are listening to the Things you Should Know podcast Duh. Also, who's going to be Alvin Braggs for Black History Month Next year? When I'm at schools, I want to see three kids who are Alvin Braggs for Black History Month. I want to see three kids who are Alvin Braggs for Black History Month Listen George.
Speaker 1:Washington Carver, martin Luther King Jr, malcolm X we love y'all. Y'all have been doing y'all's due diligence and holding us down, but it is time for us to move on to new Black heroes, and Alvin Braggs has got to be one, got to be Okay, oh my boy Alvin. I'm about to put in a petition to the city council to change mlk to alvin bragg's boulevard or at least other side.
Speaker 1:That's still michigan road, okay something we gonna have to do something. Oh shoot, I feel super rusty. I haven't done this in a minute. Let me get myself together into it yeah, you know, I took the month of april and basically may off because june is done. I need to get my personal stuff to do yeah and I needed some rest.
Speaker 1:Anyway, let's get into it. Hi, welcome to the things you should know podcast with trinitia english. Uh, my name is trinitia english. We've got our very special and one of our favorite guests here today. Bria is back in the building, super excited to have you. So, brian and I I was I'll probably keep the beginning of this in it's for in some capacity so brian and I were just talking. It's been a while since I talked to y'all. I want y'all to know I did miss y'all and I miss doing this, but I just have had some personal things going on professionally and personally. It's just been a lot the last couple of months. I need a little break so okay, it's important.
Speaker 1:Yeah, rest is very important. Um, we'll do a thing on that, but, uh, we're recording this for an actual time stamp like an npr podcast. It is 709 on Thursday, may 30th and, if you don't know, at this point, our former president, donald Josephine Trump, has just been convicted of 34 counts of a class E.
Speaker 1:I do think that is important to name that it's just a class E, just class E, but it is a felony 36, no, 34 counts, 34 counts. So our former president and the man who is the presumptive republican nominee for president, the man who is going to be on the ballot again on november 5th is a convicted felon, and it's convicted felons out there who can't vote, and there's going to be one who can run and possibly run the country um the presidency and that's wild um.
Speaker 2:And that will be my reminder to register to vote because you should, and check your local um legislation, because it's not everywhere. Yeah, convicted felons can't vote and I think that holds a lot of people back, yeah, from registering to vote.
Speaker 1:So check where you are and see if you're able to vote yeah, disenfranchisement laws are different everywhere and for folks listening in indiana um, as long as you are, uh, not currently serving and have satisfied the conditions of your parole, you are eligible to vote. So check that. If there's going to be a felon on the ballot, that we need to get that on. Uh, like shirts, felon on the ballot felons in the box.
Speaker 2:Come on, that's it, that's it, that's the hashtag felon on the ballot, felons in the box.
Speaker 1:Let's do it. Um, bria, how are things going for you, though? I just I've been talking about myself a lot, child they going I'm gonna try not to breathe too hard. Listen, bria has a. If you didn't know, I hope I'm not putting your business out like at this point, it's fine um but bria is growing an alien life worm currently, yes, um, which is why. How is that going?
Speaker 2:it's, it's gone.
Speaker 1:It's very weird each day yeah, it's like amazing what your body can do.
Speaker 2:You know, I never expected for this to be my life. However, this is not what I expected today I had like a, an epiphany that was like this is actually kind of cool, even though it's freaking me out, yeah like it freaks me out, but it's like oh, this is kind of cool.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I mean, it's like fascinating, not fascinating enough that I want to do it, but it's fascinating, yeah, no, zero out of ten.
Speaker 2:I do not recommend zero out of ten wouldn't I recommend love it.
Speaker 1:I mean, like what? That's part of the problem, right? Millennials aren't having kids. Donald trump's running the universe.
Speaker 2:This is what it is that's what is making me even more nervous.
Speaker 1:It's like at least I'm not having a girl yeah, at least.
Speaker 2:At least you're not having a girl, yeah so I'm gonna try to breathe to to this side yeah, no, do what you need.
Speaker 1:Do what you need heavy breathing. I mean, I'm over here congested, so they'll. This will just be the the heavy episode yeah that really freaks somebody out in the audio.
Speaker 1:I'm gonna leave it too, man sweet. So, um, brie, like I said, I've been gone for a minute. Now I'm back with the jump off Like low cam, but I wanted to have you on because actually let's do this, let's do a little quick like reflection activity. You down for that, I love it. So, like I said, I've been gone for a little bit. I would love for us to share, like what's something in the last like 60 days that you have learned, either about the world, the universe or yourself, that you would like to share with people. And if you want, I can go first, because I've been thinking about this a little bit.
Speaker 1:You go first, you go first. So one of the things like I guess like an aha moment that I've had it is this, and I'm gonna tell you how I got here. But this is what, maybe one of the things I think y'all should know it is okay just not to like people For just the purpose of not liking them. Like that's fine. Like I think at some point in our childhoods or somewhere, like we've been conditioned Like that you just don't like, not like people, or there needs to be a reason or someone needs to have done something to you for you to choose like you don't like them. But I am a person you can, you will like, confirm this. For the people on the pot I will say in a heartbeat, like yeah, I don't bang with them.
Speaker 1:It's just something about people that like if, if you, just if I just don't get the right vibes, I just don't get the right vibes, and it's like monopoly for me. Like do not pass, go, do not collect 200, like it's a wrap and I don't. I try not to like shut it down completely and not give people a way in, but I trust my gut, like I really do, and if it's something off, it's something off. And if I don't like you, I just don't like you. And there may not be a reason.
Speaker 1:And I want to shout out Kendrick Lamonte, lamar Duckworth, because to stand 10 toes down on the like yo, I don't like you, I don't respect you and I don't like you, and we can talk about all the reasons, but at the end of the day, it doesn't matter. I don't respect you and I don't like you, and we can talk about all the reasons, but at the end of the day, it doesn't matter, I don't like you. I have just really respected him as a poster child of, in the words of big sean, I don't fuck with you, I just don't that's so funny because I was literally just listening to they not like us.
Speaker 2:They not like us the whole way and the first thing that actually came to my mind was we need to bring jabroni ass niggas back. Yeah, jabronis, like literally just the phrase that so that was the first thing that came to my mind was over the last couple of weeks, few weeks, that is what I was like yeah, we need to bring that phrase back because I it hit, it hit. Yeah, it really did it really did.
Speaker 1:That was a funny line. Yeah, I mean, there was a lot about that that was funny. That I'm sure has been rehashed and nauseam and all of that, but that is what I've been standing 10 toes down on like, even with the jermaine cole being like, hey, you know what? That's the other thing I learned, like, mind your business and drink your water, and it is fine to make a mistake and say, hey, yo, I got involved in this and it actually don't got nothing to do with me, and so I'm gonna bow out, gracefully, shout out to J Cole for that, like appreciate that dog.
Speaker 1:And I caught that out in the very beginning, like no, no, I respect that. Like Kendrick was going at Drake, you caught a stray, you wanted to say something about it, but then you realized this ain't really my fight. And so I'm out, and I respect that too.
Speaker 2:So to piggyback off of that, I would say over the last 60 days, sometimes you have to step back and reevaluate. Even after you've made an initial decision. However, usually your first thought is your best thought it probably is.
Speaker 2:Yep, that is what I've kind of developed over the last few weeks, well, really last few months. It's like I usually have a good first mind about people, about things, and sometimes I try to not say it right off the bat. Well, I used to, and sometimes it would get me in trouble. But then I had to step back and reevaluate and usually I come right back around to that first mind.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I know, yeah, it may not, I can't come out the right way, but those were my genuine feelings. And there there's a reason why I felt that and so I gotta listen to that, I gotta trust that right and, at the end of the day, that has never steered me wrong. Right, I've never like been like, oh, I'm a little leery of this person, and then been like, oh, you know what? I was completely tripping, I have. And then I found I was completely tripping about, completely tripping. Yep, like I had been paid, right, yep. So, um, I'll say, the other thing that I've learned is and this is like to respect, with drake, like on drake, uh, drake is 40 years old and still making music for the youth. Y'all are not gonna get millennials out the paint like we are here forever to stay, oh for sure. Like it is what it is. Y'all cannot get us out the plane gen z like hang it up, join the legion of doom. Like welcome to death row.
Speaker 2:Like y'all not moving us out there because I don't. I was talking to somebody and I was like the music that I really really like came out either in like the mid 2000s, like 2004 to 2008, and then it like came back at like 2012, 2013 to 2016, really 2018 good music.
Speaker 1:I used to like wonder as a kid like yo, why are my parents going back and listening to this old music like I mean it's good. I don't like it's good, but like it's still a lot of good stuff that's out now I get it, uh for sure but the kids are listening to his trash I'm here for it what y'all are listening to is trash, yeah, but yeah, that's the other revelation I had like y'all not gonna get millennials out to paint.
Speaker 1:Y'all complained about us, but we're not going nowhere. Jade, a kiss, jadakiss. What's up? Friends, let me start by thanking you so much for being a listener to the pod. Really appreciate all of the love and support we're getting thus far. With that being said, I need to ask a quick favor of you. First of all, make sure that you rate and review this episode and be sure to share all of our gems and content with everyone out in the world who needs it, and that's everybody, trust me. But secondly, if you haven't already, be sure to follow us on social media and, most importantly, make sure you subscribe to the podcast wherever you get your podcasts. Oh shoot, okay, all right, you ready? Yeah, so one of the reasons that I wanted to have you on here is because another thing that, honestly, I've been dealing with a lot in the last 60 days is secondhand embarrassment. As I cover my eyes and about bria.
Speaker 1:On to talk about this because once the embarrassment I think is something that we actually don't talk about enough as a society, and secondhand embarrassment is like the worst if you ask me, and me and bria have been sitting in the same secondhand embarrassment, and so we just want to just, you know one, let y'all know that y'all are not alone and and share some tips and tricks, some best practices around dealing with embarrassment, because I will say, like I don't think I'm not shout out to you.
Speaker 1:If you do, I would argue that no one handles embarrassment well but, I have recently, in therapy, started to realize that I was not allowed to practice embarrassment as a kid because my parents did so much to shield me from embarrassment and my father did so much to shield me from embarrassment, and my father specifically, and I think it was because my father, I love my dad, he's great and he's a little like he knows what he's talking about. I don't want to shame my dad, but my dad doesn't know it all like he doesn't know it all.
Speaker 1:He is one of those people that like, if you give him a topic and he doesn't really know about it, he's gonna do, he's gonna figure out about it, right, he's. And he's a strategist, right like you throw anything in front of him and he can figure out a strategy. Or, you know, try to beat the system. And I think in learning about my parent in my adulthood and learning about their his childhood, he's always been like that and so his family would be like oh so you know, so you do it, like whatever. And I think because of that, there were times where he was embarrassed and because he didn't like that, like in the english household, like if you was doing something it didn't get out the door without living english, putting it like it didn't, you had to practice it, right like I remember like uh, my sister she during the easter program, she was the prayer and my dad making her practice praying like I remember that right like I remember running lines with my dad for the school play and him being like no
Speaker 2:you gotta have it more like him being an acting coach, like like.
Speaker 1:I remember that and so I didn't deal with a lot of embarrassment as a kid because I was prepared, like that was the thing we were prepared for everything.
Speaker 2:So when I got into, it took me a lot a while to identify that some of the feelings that I was having were embarrassment, because it wasn't an emotion that I had a lot, had a lot of experience with I actually can relate to your dad because I might have been know that listen it happens to us right people be feeling away I have an like, a severe issue with being embarrassed, and so I've tried really hard not to embarrass myself on purpose. However, life keeps coming for me Like. I'll never forget one of my like. Anytime I think about embarrassment, I always think of my first day of high school.
Speaker 1:Ooh, that's a terrible time to be embarrassed too. It's a terrible time.
Speaker 2:I had on some tie-up sandals because the time the early aughts were not great listen.
Speaker 1:This is why you can't. This is why millennials are invincible. Listen, the early aughts already did it to us right, been through it it already happened.
Speaker 2:Literally my sandals slide down oh, no one of them. And my clumsy ass this this is me admitting I'm clumsy, so y'all can have it trip in the common in front of, like, the clear little cafeteria. So, like, half of the kids are in cafeteria doing lunch, the other half is in the hallways did you like face pop boom?
Speaker 1:oh, no, bria, and that area in ben davis like there's no hiding at all at all.
Speaker 2:So I literally facepalmed it. Boom, damn, I'm thinking okay, a few people saw me, whatever, whatever, whatever. A few months later, it's probably like march, I'm on the bus, just talking, minding my business, and one of these little hoodlums okay, I'm gonna call him a hoodlum says to me hold on, wait you regret it.
Speaker 2:Oh no, they've been talking about it all year long, and so I was even I was doubly embarrassed, and so, from that moment though, I figured out how to deal with my embarrassment. I don't really like to be the butt of the joke, so we're not gonna laugh about it. I was just really clear like it could happen to you. It could happen to you. I was just like clear like it could have happened to you, and so, if we're gonna just jump ahead a little bit to the tips and tricks and the best practices, is like owning it and realizing it could happen to other people too yeah, no, that's real and I would say like, I think like that.
Speaker 1:So one of my most embarrassing moments is at um, at warren. That I don't know, they probably don't do this no more because kids is extra bad now, but we used to have senior skate nights, so senior bowling night senior skate night, whatever they would put together the senior video and they'd always have clips from the skate night or the bowling night.
Speaker 1:Anyway, you know, back in my young days as a senior high school you know the knees were, you know, a lot better and stronger I go to the senior skate night and I fall. I like wipe out bad. No, like wipe out bad. And I look up and it's the video, the kids from the video class, like they have a camera in my face and I just like crack up laughing because like that's what you do in that moment, like we're all at the senior skating party. Other people are going to fall, right, and they did Right. I was able to shake it. Here's where the embarrassment comes. So you know, at warren they used to, back in the day our graduation was held at consenco, cambridge, banker's life I think it was banker's life when I graduated anyway. So we're there and they're playing clips from the senior video on the Jumbotron and I look up and it is the clip. First of all, they put it on the senior video. Which why? Who did you piss off A lot?
Speaker 2:of people. I was a little bit of an ass.
Speaker 1:Anyway, they put on the senior video and they roll that section of the senior video in the middle of graduation. So not only did I fall and bust my ass at the senior skate night and everyone at the senior skate night saw it but then a few months later everyone in the graduating class at warren central that year and their families and guests saw me fall and bust my ass at the singer's gate night um yeah, and it just is what it is.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and I'm sure a lot of people experience secondhand embarrassment in that moment I've been experiencing a lot of second-handed embarrassment oh man at work, um, and actually I'm, I'm gonna ask like so this person that I've been experiencing the me and bria have been experiencing the secondhand embarrassment too.
Speaker 1:We have some similarities so all of us are black women. Yeah, I know, I experienced it from like white, like when white women do things embarrassing, or even like men, black men, but white women. Yeah, I know, I experienced it from like white, like when white women do things embarrassing, or even like men, like men, like white women, like, I fear I experience secondhand embarrassment from everyone. But I'm wondering if I'm feeling this more because I don't see myself in this person. But I see I can see myself. There's a collective identity there.
Speaker 2:Yes, that's what I'm looking for so for me, it's easier for me to laugh off the second hand embarrassment when it's everybody but a black woman. Yeah, fair it's easy for me to be like I'm embarrassed, but that's not me, that's not me, but I think when it is a black woman, it's like and it's, and I don't. I don't know where it comes from. I don't know if it comes from slavery. No, it comes from slavery, you're right, because that's exactly where it comes from, like the failure.
Speaker 1:Of failure for black women was life and death right and that has been conditioned into us like right, so like that's a trauma. That's what it is, because that's exactly what it is that's what I go to like. One I don't want to be in a situation like that. Two I know what meanings people can make. Because of that, I don't want them to make the meanings about you. I definitely don't want them to make those meanings about me, right?
Speaker 2:or us as a collective right.
Speaker 1:No, it definitely goes back to that it's slavery and you know what.
Speaker 2:And I think it goes back to even what you were saying about how your dad prepped y'all and prepared y'all and it's like are you not doing that preparation? Are you not doing?
Speaker 1:the same preparation that I'm doing at home, I mean like because I don't know, and maybe I'm correct, like, maybe I'm nuts, but like I think about those things. Right, I think about the excuse me, the way I show up, how those things might play out. So I don't there.
Speaker 1:There's also like a lack of self-awareness from this person that, I think, is absolutely glaring and the reason why they show up that way and even understanding, like, okay, this person is not aware that doesn't make me like, be like okay, well, that justifies the embarrassment. That makes me even more embarrassed.
Speaker 2:Yes, and it also is angering, like it's. I think it's coupled with being angered and being embarrassed, and I don't know how to like divorce the two or reconcile. I think this situation might be.
Speaker 1:I don't know, I don't know I was gonna say maybe in this situation might be, I don't know, I don't know I was going to say maybe in this situation, but like, all right, let's think about this. When, like Michelle Williams, falls on one one, oh six in part, or, more recently, pops up and almost lose their balance at the Superbowl, my girl Love the girl, michelle, right, like there's some like funny in that, but I don't feel it the same way as I do. Yeah, because the meanings that are made about michelle williams in that moment or the narrative that is created doesn't reflect on me, but I do feel the narratives being made about this black woman do do you feel like?
Speaker 2:so that that makes me wonder, because I feel the same way. Oop, wrong one. I feel the same way and it might, like I said, I'm a clumsy person. So it's like anybody can be clumsy, like it doesn't matter what you look like, whatever there I think, well, it might matter what you look like, because there are some things that people might make more fun of you about if you're clumsy. But I think it has a lot to do with if we're going back to slavery and all the things and the myths that have been proposed and perpetrated about black people for years, about our intellect and about the way that we think or the way that we speak or the way that we present ourselves. Intellect and about the way that we think or the way that we speak or the way that we present ourselves, and I don't think it's for me, I don't think it's rooted in embarrassing us or acting a certain way in front of these white folks I don't want you to do it in front of these.
Speaker 1:Yeah, no, I don't want you to show up that way ever right and I think that's important to name.
Speaker 1:Like in these situations. Like I get embarrassed how this person shows up when it's one-on-one with me. Oh man, because I just cannot fathom why anyone would want to show up that way. Right, it's like the same thing. Like when you see someone wearing, like something super and like not to be. Listen, I'm not body shaming anybody, right, like or any the body positive we will. But I've written in the 2000s and we ain't do that. Okay, but like it's when you see someone wearing something that like is ill-fitting, okay, and you just get embarrassed for like, why it's like why do I see your panty lines when you could have wore a slip?
Speaker 1:yeah, it's like there are ways to avoid. These are easy fixes, and so it's. Do you not care, or did you not see it Right? And so I think, like that's where the self awareness really plays into.
Speaker 2:That's where that's, because that's. I'm glad you use that example, because I think that sometimes if you take a second think about what you're going to say, say, running through that that filter of, does this make sense or does it just make sense to me? Yeah, yeah like that really speaks to your self-awareness or not?
Speaker 1:yeah, and I want to like name like, because when you say running through the filter, I think people like immediately jump jump to like code switching or like and we are not talking about that we're talking about like hey, now is not the time or place. Or hey yo, you're saying you've never seen these things before and you're putting on this air like oh my god, this is so amazing when seven people in the room have actually shown you this before.
Speaker 1:Like yo, like yeah that's hard for me, yeah that's tough, like that is really tough, and it reflects poorly on me, right, because if this, if you've been here for six months, eight months and you've never seen this, you're saying that the seven people on this call who have shown you this, half of which are black women, haven't been doing their jobs, like so, like that, I think, is also like that, like this reflects poorly on me immediately in these situations. And so for me to go back to your point about divorcing, the anger and the embarrassment and this situation, I don't think there's a way that we can, because this isn't Kendrick shooting stray bullets right like this is somebody just willy-nilly firing that gat in the air on 4th of July, like this is.
Speaker 2:This is what that is yeah, I could see that, and I didn't even think about it until you just just now said that there are things that you should have seen or that you have seen, but you're acting as if you have not, and on the other side of that are other black women.
Speaker 1:Yes.
Speaker 2:Yeah, who definitely have been trying to support you, have shown you that, because of all the other things that we just said, like we, we're not gonna leave somebody out here to drown yeah, no, unless they willingly jump off the boat and listen.
Speaker 1:Good, and I will tell you that and I will push you off my boat before I let you sink it. And I think that's also the work, because, like I want to name this, we have done a lot of work in that organization to not to make sure that black women are seen a certain way and are safe, are safe to see this, to be seen, to be seen how they want to, how they want to be seen and to show up as their full selves.
Speaker 1:Right, like we have done a lot of work to to push back on, like the ask to code, switch, the coded language.
Speaker 1:Like we have done a lot to create and it's not perfect, oh no but we have done a lot to create a space where black women can show up and thrive, and it feels like this person is showing up with the match oh man, yeah, and so for me, like to, to me, yeah, I want to separate the anger and from the embarrassment and I want to live in the anger because I'm I am really extremely frustrated. It's very frustrating.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, it's so frustrating and, and it's at the point where it's like I think we've even progressed past the secondhand embarrassment, past anger to the frustration, to the kind of helplessness yeah, it's like I don't know what to do.
Speaker 1:Well, and I've even passed into like, like, I don't know what to do, and at this point, what I want to do is make sure that you're not here anymore, which makes me reflect, like, okay, so now I'm openly sabotaging a black woman and becoming the woman, the black woman that I don't want to be man, and that is hard to reconcile. Yeah, so it's like the slippery slope from this embarrassment, um, with this person when you say it like that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, because I think that is where kind of the space that definitely circling in and which is a icky it's so, it's so gross. It's so gross because I'm quick to she ain't qualified, especially if she don't look like me right in a heartbeat. Oh so, so quick. But I think we've tried so hard not to do that when they look like us or um, there are similarities yeah, between us.
Speaker 1:Yeah, like, that's, that's the thing that we like have to talk about. Right, like, and I get it and I'm in this camp, right, like, I'm crawling and I say this all the time like if it was a dirt road before me. I am, I want to pave the road, like, my job is to make things easier for the women, for the people, for the people of color, but especially the black women coming behind me. Right, and I've been really intentional about that at this organization and it feels like I'm dedicated to that work, and now I'm looking at someone who I don't want to do that.
Speaker 2:We're going to piss a couple of y'all today.
Speaker 1:Yeah, we really are, and like so and I think, like that's what I'm reconciling with, because, like, morally, morally, yo, like you, look like me, I want you to succeed, I want the best for you morally, I'm, I'm, you, look like me, I want you to succeed, I want the best for you morally, I'm living in that place, but I'm also in my kindred bag. Like yo, I, I don't like you, I don't like you, I don't.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I'm just black is not a monolith, it's not being black is not a monolith.
Speaker 1:Please remember that being a black woman is not a monolith.
Speaker 2:It really'm leaving it at that. It really isn't right, and yeah, but somebody saying I ain't black enough.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:You know, what's frustrating, though and I think I was expressing this to you is that I don't think other people talk like this.
Speaker 1:Oh no, they don't or feel like this, no.
Speaker 2:I don't even know if Hispanics feel like this, unless they are black identified. Yeah, you know what I mean. Yeah, like I know white women ain't having this conversation, I have brought up the example of when majority of white women voted for trump in 2016 election. I don't think white women were sitting around the brown table talking about, um, no, like the differences in whiteness, right.
Speaker 1:like in the social and economic status. And what? Because there was some unification in it, right, wasn't it? Like six, like the majority of them did.
Speaker 2:It was like 60 60 of them did it.
Speaker 1:so like it's not in the same thing, right, like they aren't. White people have been able to move because, honestly and I don't want to break it down to this simple, like this is really simple and breaking it down but like the social economic status of it is so different, right, and the world that I grew and you and me grew up in because of our social economic status, and the world that other black women grow up in because of their social economic status, is different and that is a dividing factor. Oh yeah, for white people, you know they don't have to run around screaming no, this isn't.
Speaker 2:Yeah, no, they get to have the varieties to. They get to have the varieties and they get to have the different levels and I'm rewatch.
Speaker 1:Like you know, like roseanne and reba were on tv right, like those were, I'm re-watching reba on netflix right now, excellent sitcom. She is a comedic genius and we don't talk about that enough yeah, she's, she literally made that show. Um, anyway, but like there were different white women on tv, right, like they, there were different. We we saw different white women on tv. We had, we didn't.
Speaker 2:We only saw exceptional black women on tv right like for sure, and even still now, right like there aren't I don't think we're as far as we think that we are and so I think that's why it's a problem for us, yeah because barack obama was elected president in 2008 and they still posted michelle obama um what was it?
Speaker 2:the time magazine new yorker, one of those big game magazines with her looking like a monkey. Yeah, like they drew her as a monkey. They drew her as like a super, um, masculine build woman, and it was, and we're just not. We're not. We have not made it as far as we should, to where I am 100 comfortable with all of the different imagery that we should be able to show up on television and have all ranges of blackness out there.
Speaker 2:However, when we are in a situation where 60% of white women are voting for someone who's blatantly racist and sexist and sexist and a misogynist All of the things Right. A fascist. Yeah, all of the things, all of the issues, just keep adding them. And he has a chance to be president again, even though he is a convicted felon. It can never be Barack Obama. It can never be Cory Booker Kamala Harris, please. It can never be barack obama.
Speaker 1:it can never be cory booker, kamala harris, please yeah, no, I mean 100, right, like, and I I think you bring up a really good point when you say, like we haven't come as far, like I think about serena and just like even like as she, as we like, expand, as we look at her full career, right like from what she looked like to what she was built like, to the fact that she almost died giving birth to her daughter, because, even as this world-class athlete, whose body is her business, the people don't believe that she's experiencing the pain that she is shout out to um alexis for keeping doing what he needs to do and standing up for that black woman.
Speaker 1:But like I, I just yeah yeah, I think.
Speaker 2:I really think that's where it really lies is we are not as far as we should be, and I think a lot more people it's. It's okay to name, that it's okay to say we're not there, that it's okay to say we're not there and to think even harder about what is it that we have to do to get us there. The girl's embarrassing y'all.
Speaker 2:Long story short the long and the short of it the girl's embarrassing, embarrassing, and I don't like it and I wish she would just show up differently, or just and I, I'm never trying to put baby in the corner, you know I ain't trying to do that, but shut up.
Speaker 1:Here's the other thing right, just shut up. Just shut up and I've been thinking about this. What would make it better Is if she truly showed up, in a way.
Speaker 2:Where she was being a learner.
Speaker 1:Well, first she needs to develop some self-awareness, which at her big age I mean like I believe you can teach your old dog new tricks, but I don't believe. I don't know what age this dog would need to be.
Speaker 2:And also what generation? Because I'm gonna tell you right now, as much as I'm a millennial yes, millennials I am a middle to younger millennial, yeah, yeah you are yeah I'm a middle to younger because I'm 93 okay and it's only a few more years left before. You're not a millennial, and I would say some of our older millennials, the ones who are like, really, at the start of it the cuspers the true, because I would say she's a true cusper.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:They don't want to hear nothing from nobody, and I think that's a millennial trait, I think that's a very but there are levels to the I don't want to hear nothing from nobody.
Speaker 1:That's real. That's real Because I think, like it goes, you have to be able to discern it, right. So like.
Speaker 1:I'm sure you've been seeing this, like all these clips on tiktok of people like, really like going in on gen z and being like yo, I'm not gaslighting you because I'm holding you accountable, like I'm not gaslighting you because I'm asking you to do a job, um, and I think like we were a little soft on them a little bit. I will say right, like, and I, and I get it like, I hear it, I understand and I think where we are, because I'm like in the like middle of millennial 90 and I think you're right, like there's a pocket of us that is willing to.
Speaker 1:We really experience the ridicule of it, right, like what being a millennial was and we were really into the stuff that they were talking about.
Speaker 2:I think a few of the older ones were able to kind of blend in with the um, what is that? Generation y, yeah, a little bit.
Speaker 1:Yeah, no, I would, I would honestly agree, and I think the way they get to pick and choose when they when they want to be millennials, and when they don't, yep, that's exactly what I was going to say. Right, they like play this thing, like, oh, I'm so old, I didn't know, because that's the third identity it's being a millennial and it's like girl yes, you did, you did, you did remember.
Speaker 2:We know how to do the doing, doing this in the system, but we also know how to make google our bitch like stop girl.
Speaker 1:Like, and there'll be like so many times, like my boss does this and I'm gonna say this because I call around on it I'll be like girl. She'll be like I didn't know you could. I'll be like you ain't never heard of google. Like, come on, like. These aren't the things that are difficult to find right. Like my mom is like that. Be like girl. You can't work the smart tv, but the entire time I was sneaking on facebook in my space and texting at school, you was. You could figure that out. You could figure that out but you can't figure this out.
Speaker 1:I digress anyway, yeah. So yeah, like I think that's something to something I think people should know, right, like and I think I'm packing this yeah, I think we say it a lot, but like you always need to make room.
Speaker 1:There is like evolution is real, like in that way, right, you should always be evolving as a person. The muhammad ali quote right, like if you meet yourself from 20 years in the past I'm paraphrasing this this is not how he said. He said it way better than this. But if you know, if you meet yourself from 20 years in the past I'm paraphrasing this this is not how he said it, he said it way better than this. But if you know, if you meet a man who has the same ideas in 20 years, like he's wasted 20 years of his life.
Speaker 1:And I think, like there is a point right where I think this is goes back to my point. This is why we can't y'all can't get millennials out the paint, because we continue to evolve. Oh yeah, we're willing to go back and say, hey, yes, when I was doing that in the early aughts, that that's what I was doing, because it was popular, like that's what we did, that's how we talked. But now I understand, you know that we can't do that anyway anymore, and so I'm willing to make a shift. You get this segment of millennials that are willing to adapt and shift with the times right and show up differently and say, hey, I was wrong about that 10 years ago and I've shifted my opinion now. Or hey, I feel differently about this now because circumstances have changed, and that is okay. That is evolution of you as a human being I have more information now I get it differently.
Speaker 1:Yes, I have more information, I can make a more educated decision. And people who there is a subset of people who are refusing to do that, who are saying like I'm at a different age and I think this is different from being like I'm 35, I'm 40, I'm 45 and I don't care what people think anymore. That's different, right? Yeah, you cannot care what people think about you, but still be in tune to what's happening in the world around you and adjust to that.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah right and and we can say like, hey, y'all going a little bit too far right here, like now y'all tripping a little bit right, like this is not how the world works, um, and, and I think people who are lacking that skill, um, that that's really unfortunate, and I think in a place like in our workspace, not having that skill like, really put like makes you stick out like a sore thumb, yeah, and it's.
Speaker 1:It's a skill that you can adapt, right? I say this all the time I'm a better culture fit for our organization now, but I'm not a good culture fit for the organization, and when I came to our organization, I really struggled with the culture that was around us but instead of.
Speaker 1:I mean I did criticize it, but instead of just openly criticizing it, I approached it with the level of curiosity to understand why we got here. And there were some whys that I completely got and was got here, and there were some whys that I completely got and was able to shift, and then the whys that I didn't.
Speaker 1:I was able to push back on and I think like that is is an incredible skill and you get so much further in life by approaching things with curiosity. And it always is a red flag to me when people don't approach things with curiosity, if you just come in and say something's wrong without understanding the why and how we got here, the history behind it. I have some questions yeah, do your research.
Speaker 1:Do your research because there is a reason. Honestly, understanding the reason why you got somewhere is the key to understanding how to shift it right and how to change it. Um, and I think like that until, to bring this full circle to, uh, donald justina, until the republican, until we start asking republicans and democrats, and still until, politically, we start asking each other how do we get to this place where it was just my team against your team, and away from this space where we were asking what was best for our country and what would help people thrive? And until we start asking those questions, we're going to be in this contentious battle of what our political system is and there will just be another convicted felon to come in to try and run the country, because you can do that in america yeah, yeah, that's exactly it.
Speaker 2:Until we can really identify how we can really vote for our interests, like our personal and our true personal interests, we're going to continue to find ourselves and with this merry-go-round that we've been in for the last 20 years, yeah, it's not gonna.
Speaker 1:It's not gonna change, right like, and that, I think, is the frustrating part of it. Right, and that is the embarrassing part right of being an american, is that we've got in this experiment that we call america has gotten away from the thesis, the hypothesis.
Speaker 2:Where is the scientific method? I'm glad you said an experiment, because that's how we always frame the American democracy from ever since 1776, whatever, whatever, this has been an experiment. But if you know anything about an experiment, there is a method to how you have to do it. You need to have your controls, you need to have your variables and we are fucking with the controls.
Speaker 1:Yeah, 100%.
Speaker 2:Like, and I think that's what's so jarring and so scary for me. Like, and I love politics. You know I'm a political scientist, okay, and it really bothers me when we're talking about different systems and the way that we're really just pulling the rug of democracy and republicanism for real from underneath the united states and what it's supposed to mean yeah and oh, it just pisses me off yeah, no right like, and I think the the, the likesafe right, is local government, and we're starting to see, especially in places like Indiana, local government become more politicized like this, more polarized like this.
Speaker 1:We're starting to see state governments become more contentious like this, and I think that is the slippery slope, that is the undoing of the democracy right and I would say I think our founding fathers, those racist bastards.
Speaker 2:They thought most americans were dumb. But I would actually americans and they but I would go out and say but the more information that we have now, the dumber we've become, yes, have gotten yep, because I was on a vacation and someone was saying I was, I was in florida.
Speaker 2:I need to be clear where I was and the person who was talking I'm sure as a florida voter and they had said if you put um, oh, we had in europe, you have to be able to opt into universal healthcare. First of all, when he said universal healthcare, I said shut up, shut up shut up.
Speaker 2:You about to make me mad, stop talking. But he said, in order to opt into it, you have to take a certain amount of vacation a year. Hmm, he said if they put that on the ballot, he knows what he would be voting for. And it bothered me because we've been fighting for universal health care for so long. We don't have any type of maternity or parental leave excuse me on the books at all. It's so hard for people to take their PTO. It's so hard for people to take their pto. We're fighting for companies to even mandate. You're gonna get this amount of pto period and I'm just like it has been on the ballot.
Speaker 1:You don't know what you don't know no, like we've created these echo chambers.
Speaker 2:Right, you're literally voting against your interest yep on a regular basis simply because you hear Democrat and you hear Republican.
Speaker 1:Yes, that's it.
Speaker 2:Without understanding what the parties stand for, what their platforms are. Yeah, no, like that's 100% it right.
Speaker 1:Like I say that all the time, I know what the Republican Party is against, but I don't know what they're for. Sometimes I don't think I know what the democrats are for or against.
Speaker 2:We've gotten so far from it, I think I think both parties have gotten so far from it. But if we were to really like sit down and say these are things that are important to me, to my family, to my future?
Speaker 1:yeah, no, it's the ask the hard questions, because politics has not become about governing, it's become about, it's about pissing yeah, it's about getting in power and staying in power, right, which is why term limits is why we don't have term limits, but which is why term limits would be so instrumental in that is because folks aren't now saying we're talking about the legislator, yeah yes, this is all like. So folks aren't saying, oh, this is what my constituents need or this is what's going to be, but I mean they are, but they aren't doing it because it's what their communities need.
Speaker 1:It's doing their. It's because what their communities need to stay in power, which is why you have mitch mcconnell, um at a ribbon cutting for a big plant in his, in his state, right, that is there because of biden dollars but still stands as a as a you know, a ally of trump, because I need to be able to work over here and but I need what my people want to hear is that I'm in lockstep with this man.
Speaker 2:And it just it's just right.
Speaker 1:Like you said, it's the, it's the stupidity of the American people. I heard an Albert Einstein quote today that goes something like Einstein said like I'm unsure of how infinite the universe is, but I am sure that the stupidity of man has no bounds, and I think that's what we're living in, right. We see that every day. We see it every day. The stupidity of man has no bounds and in an effort to get smarter, we've just gotten dumber.
Speaker 2:Dumber.
Speaker 1:As time goes, you know, dang.
Speaker 2:Yeah, just like my uncle said, these folks ain't got the common sense of a lot.
Speaker 1:They don't, and now we are going to let those people Elect the next leader of our free world.
Speaker 2:What free world?
Speaker 1:Don't get me started on that note, we're gonna get out of here cause y'all. Thanks so much for listening. I really appreciate you. Uh, bria, thanks so much for being here. This is a really good episode, of course.
Speaker 2:I love when we talk about everything, yeah.
Speaker 1:I'm gonna have to cut out me hacking in it to save y'all's ears, but really appreciate you. Anything you want the people to know, I'd be mine for love um, you know, I just was drinking a cup of water.
Speaker 2:Stay hydrated. Please stay hydrated. It's gonna be hot this summer global warming is real, no matter what they tell you. Global warming is real.
Speaker 1:And watch out for them, cicadas, because they're gross oh watch out um, y'all have a good one, uh, and I will talk to y'all next time, okay, bye. Oh wait, what free world who knows? Not me?
Speaker 2:man, I can't.
Speaker 1:Can't you believe Donald Trump was convicted on all 34 counts?
Speaker 2:Man, and that it's not going to make a difference.
Speaker 1:Oh, not at all, not at all, not at all.
Speaker 2:Unless, it's true, do or unless something miraculous like snaps people out of their delusion of grandeur okay, I love this hypothetical.
Speaker 1:To rally behind who?