Things You Should Know
Laughing is a Coping Mechanism pt. 2
Trenisha English here and you are listening to the Things you Should Know podcast. And before we start today, make sure you like, follow and subscribe to the pod wherever you get your podcasts.
Speaker 1:Chelsea, this is supposed to be a lighthearted episode, so I'm gonna ask you a question that I do think is lighthearted and a question that I have been thinking about a lot this week, okay, and it's been bringing me a lot of joy, but I'm kind of weird. So we'll see. What is a historical event that you have lived through that you are excited to tell your children about?
Speaker 2:this is supposed to be like heartache. Um, I thought about. The first thing that came to my mind was, I guess, excited or ready.
Speaker 1:You can't wait for them to be like what was it like when?
Speaker 2:yeah, I mean, I probably would have to say the pandemic, which sounds you're like what? No, because that's actually on my list because, um so the first thing that really came to my mind was 9-11, because I was in seventh grade.
Speaker 1:Oh, I didn't even think about that.
Speaker 2:That happened and just like, um, just being able to talk like I know that's gonna like, that's something that's to probably be recorded in their history books accurately. So like just being able to say, like this kind of happened.
Speaker 2:Well, actually, this is like so being able to talk through that and like explain, like from my perspective and just kind of what my mom was doing, but like the pandemic, because the pandemic it's so multifaceted mom was doing, but like the pandemic because the pandemic it's so multifaceted, and so when I think about that it's not just about, um, a sickness, but also like the growth and things that happen and or not growth that now may be progressing, but anyway we're not gonna go there, but like just being able to like to talk um, about that um, because I don't think they're gonna have to experience being locked in their house for years so you know I so the pandemic is on my list.
Speaker 1:I obviously I like the historical, like the sad part about it, but that was a really good like. It was a very productive time in my life, right, and that's so I'm excited to tell. Well, I don't plan on having kids, but I'm excited to tell my nieces and nephews and my godkids about what it was like through that. One of the things that I thought about a lot during that is how the stories from the spanish flu lockdown didn't get passed down to us.
Speaker 1:That's what I think about that like oral history telling and what that's gonna look like. I'm also really excited to tell my kids that I live through the prime of beyonce let's go you said because like I think about like diana ross yeah, wow. While when, when I was a kid in the 90s, 2000s, diana ross was like a trailblazer right, she was a historical figure. She was doing some things right, she had the movie with brandy, but like I wasn't.
Speaker 1:We weren't waiting in line for a diana ross album like, yes, there was a community that was doing that, but they were older, like her fan base had grown up with her right and beyonce is a fan base or is an artist that I have grown up with that I've seen at the prime like. I think about that, like, while I got to see Michael Jackson in a prime I think 80s, michael Jackson was probably the eight like or that was an apex of Michael Jackson that I wish I could have been like a part of, and so I like to hear stories from my mom about coming home and watching the Thriller video. Or I even think, like my mom talks about staying, pretending to be sick, staying home from school to learn the lyrics to Rapper's Delight like and.
Speaker 1:I'm excited to pass stories like that down to the younger generation around. Beyonce, I really am.
Speaker 2:That sounds like really that's really good and amazing and even like the story that you share with your mom, like I think we just to your point about oral history, like oral storytelling. I think we really need to get into that more and then also I think that will also inspire the next generation to actually have interest in certain things and like see it from a different perspective.
Speaker 1:So like that's dope, I'm about to take this like hell it be, but like I think that it is super important, especially as we think about white supremacy culture and dismantling white supremacy to start placing a lot like exponentially more value on the oral storytelling absolutely because so much of this is not going to be captured and history repeats itself absolutely, and so while I think about the fun things, right, like talking to people about when janet jackson's boob came out- come on and be able to see that um come on, you're looking at boobs.
Speaker 1:It was up being able to see that well, I guess maybe I shouldn't say it like that, because I actually I don't think I actually saw it. I think, oh no, I did see it and I remember my mom being like was that her boo? It's the way. It's my impression, yes every time. Every time I do a horrible impression of my mother, but it's good, it's funny to me, she's hilarious.
Speaker 2:But it's like you know when I don't even have to ask who you're talking about. When you do that voice, I'm like okay, she's talking about her mom.
Speaker 1:She's talking about her mom Like it makes sense. That's the voice I use when I'm talking about my mom.
Speaker 2:Yeah, Chelsea, what's been the best part of your week um?
Speaker 1:we can open it up if you need to think about, I was about to, I was like sleep, like I don't like that sounds.
Speaker 2:So like no, you about to make them. They gonna call the people on me like we'll cut it out. No, like no, it's okay. Like I mean I don't know, you know me, like full transparency, like it really it's just I've got a lot going on. So like, truly, like I think it has been, like I was really excited last week AmeriCorps grads they went on through, so just kind of being on shout out AC grads yeah.
Speaker 2:So like that was really, that was really a cool moment. I'm trying to think like this week has just kind of been like chill, so I don't think it's like that's why I was just like sleep, because it's not like I'm a highlight, yet it's only thursday, so I think I'm looking forward to oh, you got some stuff this weekend. You got something cool going on this weekend I was just gonna hit up some juneteenth events like oh, that's dope.
Speaker 1:I'm gonna go to swim. Trials start this weekend.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, we got the free concert and stuff downtown.
Speaker 1:So I said I was going to go to swim trials on Saturday.
Speaker 2:You be like doing like real stuff, adult stuff. I be feeling like I just be in the house like doing nothing and depressed Like not depressed, like I threw that out there, like that was ridiculous.
Speaker 1:I just ate on this cough drop.
Speaker 2:So I definitely gotta cut that out. Yes, but just be in the house doing nothing and so like it gives like I don't know I just I feel like I need to do more. But a lot of times because when you're doing so much that weekend or that time when you feel like you can't do nothing, like I just want to lay around, I mean, rest is important yeah, but if it's not rest, then because sometimes it's like it's rest but like my mind is still going.
Speaker 2:So it's like like, am I really resting? So it's like, maybe let me get everything done. So I need to work on actually being able to relax when I quote unquote rest.
Speaker 1:That's real. That's real, but we're just in different places in life.
Speaker 2:You're in the house.
Speaker 1:The thing for me summer 2024, is we outside. How about that? Really? Yeah, it needs to be that, though no and do and do.
Speaker 2:I don't even know if I really have a like thing for this summer. It's like, probably just make it, um, like no, no, no, no, because okay, like, let's acknowledge, like I'm in school, I'm working. Like it's not like a.
Speaker 1:It wasn't like yeah, I was like y'all, I'm not trying to be ridiculous in school, she's working. This is also an extremely busy time at work for Chelsea yes, specifically, um, and there's a lot going on. Right, it's an election year, like you have, you're engaged, you're planning a wedding, like Chelsea's doing the most with a little energy now.
Speaker 2:That's like because it's and how do you do the most? Like how do you slow down? And I think that's that's really where I've been this week, even in my conversations like how do you slow down when you still have to still have the gas on. Because it's like no, like I want to like slow down a little bit, or like remove something, or but what is like, what does that look like? And it's like at what cost? Right?
Speaker 1:oh, the thing about that, though, is like that's twofold, so it's like at what cost in the sacrifice and what cost in the pushing through? Absolutely, absolutely. And the cost for you might be you at home, on weekends, resting up, gearing up for an eventful week. My weeks tend not to be that eventful, and I keep them that way because work tends to be kind of eventful for me during the week. So, um, but the the theme is be outside, because we need to be outside, I need to be socializing with the people, yeah, and not in here binge watching shows that I've already seen.
Speaker 2:Come on, I'm dramatic. I'm excited because tonight, instead of sleeping, I'll probably be up watching Bridgerton. That's what I'm about to do.
Speaker 1:You know, you girls really go up for Bridgerton you know, I'm a hopeless, hopeful, romantic but then also a thug.
Speaker 2:So it's just like it's this don't. Why are you making that face? So you think I ain't a thug?
Speaker 1:I'm listen. I was in the streets thugging with you. Yes, that's.
Speaker 2:I know you're a thug, but chelsea you're out of practice oh no, oh my god. No, now this is about to be. Like her, we gotta get. What do you mean? I'm out of practice. Like hold on. Like you about to make me pull out some cards, like you're in a different season. Like what do you mean?
Speaker 1:I don't know listen, and we all have seasons change, we all have seasons right, even the world has four even the earth's got four.
Speaker 2:You know what it's. I'm out of practice for me, my god practice in your thuggery yeah, I do. Yeah, like, come on, be honest with yourself.
Speaker 1:I'm just being honest with you and that's real friendship, like I can be, honest with you and be like hey, listen, if it gets, if it has to get thuggy, thuggy, thuggy, I'm not worried about you but on but I know, if it gets that way on the other side of it, I will be talking about you. I'm like Chelsea. Why did you? I told you.
Speaker 1:I'm going to tell you. You know what it was for me when Chelsea Jill. So that's all. I'm saying that you're going to be the one that we talk about when it's all said and done.
Speaker 2:Dang. I used to not be the one. I used to be the one talking about this all day. Dang I'm. I used to not be the one I used to be the one talking about, like not the one that people talk about, and we have different seasons, like right, everyone does their thing.
Speaker 1:Sometimes you're the butt of the joke, sometimes you're not. Like it ebbs and flows, sometimes you're not, it's so sad.
Speaker 2:Come on, oh man, joy's got a nice mouth, though, because what is wrong with us? Who never took me out the fact that I'm not a thug, no more. I just it's okay, you want to be.
Speaker 1:No.
Speaker 2:Oh my gosh, I literally I was having a conversation with somebody not so long ago because they were talking about wanting to fit in with a particular clientele that they worked with.
Speaker 2:I'm like you. You've graduated from that. You're now the resource and you don't have to be among like the like, still remain relatable and humble for people to be able to come to you, but for you to feel like you have to prove yourself worthy of the things that they're still doing or whatever. Because I mean, this person used to work with people who dealt with substance abuse and she used to be one of those people who worked in the streets or whatever. And so, in that the moment of you've done what you need to do to get past, so it's almost like when she was talking, I was like, ooh, it's giving survivors remorse where you've actually pushed past something, and it's like you've achieved this level. And sometimes are we making up things that people are saying, oh, you think you're good or whatever, because I mean, you're still around, but are you making those things up in your mind instead of just being able to walk into the season, instead of still being on that level?
Speaker 1:yeah, no, you say that and it makes me be like are are people saying those things? Are those just the things that you said about people when you were in those situations? And now you're assuming people are placing those labels on you now pot kettle yeah no, for real, for real what y'all to think. Um, but like chelsea I want to name. I've actually been thinking about this a lot.
Speaker 1:What you're describing is maturity like an evolution, and I think the one of the first signals that you have matured past something is the desire, is like the, the desire to, to flex yeah, and an area that you used to be that guy and be like oh no, no, no, no, I can, but like no, they need you need to be the example of what they're shooting for, Right, Like yeah, cool, Like y'all did that. I used to ride like that, Tell someone. So I said, hey, but I'm a bow out, or like now's my time. I I've been getting like that with like being out in the streets Because you know, listen, I went to IU. We went to IU Back in the day. I don't know what it's like now, but back in the day it used to go up and we would be outside in the week, in the middle of the week.
Speaker 2:How did we? Do that, bro, I'm thinking say first youth.
Speaker 1:What youth not naivete?
Speaker 2:yes, naivete I'm not saying that right we were naive, that's it.
Speaker 1:We switched the word young we were naive and our priorities were different. Yeah, right, like it was about and honestly it still is it's about social status. Absolutely. Now, as you level up, the things that require, the things that give you social status, are different, right? So, when you're 21 at iu, the thing that gives you social status is how many of these long islands you can pack down and how long past three can you ride where my hairy bear is that?
Speaker 2:is my face numb or not?
Speaker 1:that is a status symbol and then you hit a certain age or, honestly, you leave boomington yeah, yeah and that's no longer what is the social status symbol. So you have to adjust and adapt to what it is. And so I say all that, to say I used to be like, oh, I can't go out during the week because if I'm going somewhere I have to shut this place down.
Speaker 2:No, you don't? I'm leaving at 12, I'm leaving at what yo?
Speaker 1:I leave my house with being like oh yeah, I'm gonna be at home in the bed by 1 30 literally and I say that because I'm a night owl, so I usually don't go to bed until like two o'clock every morning, yeah, but, um, I'll be like oh yeah, I'm gonna be at home showered at 1 30, and you know what brings me so much joy?
Speaker 2:what when I beat that time I'll be like oh, it's 11, 45, I can watch a show. I can watch a show.
Speaker 1:It's crazy, it's 11, 45 and just be happy at home. But listen, that's the other thing. Like yo, when I was young, the hours of five through ten didn't exist. They were not and I worked I mean actually low-key, I worked in after school so I was at work. That's when I was at work, but yeah, those hours didn't exist to me. Happy hour, what for? Why come? When does happy hour start in the city? I have no clue, but I think it starts in july.
Speaker 2:I said I feel like I should just start embracing some, because it's again like go right after work, I can be home by eight like home by eight you can be showered and sobered literally 30
Speaker 1:and watch a show and be like it's great, everything is cool hey listeners, just a quick reminder to subscribe and follow our podcast so you never miss an episode, and if you're enjoying the show, please rate and review us wherever you get your podcast. Your support means the world to us. Now back to the show. Um, now Chelsea, are you watching other than Bridgerton? I guess you're annoyed by that. Well, here's what I will say. I decided I think like season 11 or 12 of Grey's Anatomy. We were like maybe like two, three seasons in, or, yeah, like two or three seasons into Scandal and how to get away with murder had started and Shonda Rhimes was terrorizing my Thursday nights and I decided I think it's around season 12 whenever sorry for those watching Grey's Anatomy season 12 on Netflix and don't know if this is gonna happen, but when Derek Shepard got murdered on that show.
Speaker 1:I decided I was not watching Grey's Anatomy anymore, I would only be watching Scandal and how to Get Away with Murder, and that when those shows ended I would never watch another Shonda Rhimes show ever again.
Speaker 2:Is that why?
Speaker 1:Yes, because I was tired of being personally victimized by that woman, because you had to show emotion, because emotion came out. No, no, no, no, no, no, because I for some strange reason rewatched just the first season of Scandal. Because I got to the end of the first season I was like this is why I swore this woman off. Girl, I don't need to go on this emotional roller coaster with you for three hours every thursday. Keep listening. So I love that.
Speaker 2:y'all love lady charlotte and bridgerton come on and the string taylor swift these string taylor swift songs.
Speaker 1:I love that for you girls, and I will be always standing on the outside protesting because shonda rhimes personally terrorized me and I did not appreciate it and I don't understand why you listen. Y'all can't stop signing up for it, but I have rehabbed and moved on.
Speaker 2:I'm really proud of you because I'm still going on the emotional roller coaster. It's like I mean, does this play into the fact that it's okay to have emotion, it's okay to go?
Speaker 1:through. You can be vulnerable. You listen, I'm gonna listen. There's some other shows right that I go on the ride with Sunday. I terrorize myself every summer with a season of House of Dragons. Like House of Dragons comes back Sunday, I'm going to watch it in real time and stress out about everything that's happening there. So I go on these roller coasters I have just decided, shonda's, you just can't do that, no more because, she's, she's.
Speaker 1:I don't want to say it like this I love shonda rhimes, but she's abusive, like why do you have to snatch my edges every time, every time? Why does it have to be a complete heartbreak and heart drop every time, every time, every episode? We're gonna do this for 22 episodes.
Speaker 2:No, thank you, no I literally like there are times where I was like I can't watch, like I literally am so invested in like what's happening I can't watch, like I have to pause and like I get anxiety, like I don't know how, how to watch this, like I have to deflect or do something else which I sound like a little crazy and like no, my fiance gets really irritated when we talk about like. He's like how do you like, why are you so invested in these characters or whatever, like this is not real.
Speaker 2:I said because it is real. There are people out here who are struggling with like my mind goes insane no, no, no, no, no.
Speaker 1:This is an alternate reality that is being presented to me and I am super invested in why Olivia Pope keeps sleeping with his married man.
Speaker 2:No, can in no, since we're here. There are people out here who are really doing that. They cannot shake it. They know like you are, you are literally one of the baddest persons people I know and you are literally just succumbing to this yeah, listen, but I get it well and sometimes you see yourselves in these characters right like it just becomes again.
Speaker 1:I have just decided that I will no longer be personally victimized by shauna. Rhymes like I can't, like, no, no. And even as I was going through the roller coaster like I, I remember like season, I think how to get away with murder is like six seasons. At the end of season four, I remember like being like because I think like scandal had ended and that was like season four of how to get away with murder, if I'm remembering correctly one. I'm gonna go back, in fact, check this in a second.
Speaker 1:Um, and I remember saying to someone oh, the guy that I was dating at the time that if I hadn't already watched four seasons of how to get away with murder, I would stop. But I've come this far. Well, I've come this far and I can't turn back now, so I'm gonna finish this, but this will be the last. I remember saying that and I have stuck there. I don't say very few things. I really trust past trinisha and if past trinisha decides something, emphatically we gonna rock with that, because out of anyone in this world, I know that I have my own best interests and I am constantly thinking about all right, what can I do now? That's gonna set me up for success later, and watching the shauna ron show does not set me up for success later.
Speaker 2:It just does not for me personally, no so that's real and it's funny, because I I'm like almost coming for you, but have I finished how to get away with murder? Have I finished grez? And that like because no, just it's a lot it is much, but will I go and restart from the beginning and then probably just fall off again because I'm comfortable with these episodes, sure thing?
Speaker 1:listen, I get it. I had to cut out the amount of reality tv I was watching.
Speaker 2:Oh, for sure, for sure reason?
Speaker 1:because you just get and those are real people in real lives. Shout out to your fiance but yeah I had to really limit that because I get personally invested and I can't. I can't go on these and and I'll be like I used to be, like shut it down. It's thursday night. It's thursday night at 4 pm. Why are y'all talking to me like going?
Speaker 2:arguing with people like it's like no, these are real people, this is a real thing like I can't no, no, it's 4 pm why? Are you? My friend is on.
Speaker 1:My friend is on tv mentally preparing, because my homegirl, olivia, yes, was uh kidnapped and is locked in a cave somewhere and I need to figure out if the president of the united states is gonna blow something up to get her back and, as he should, as he should, yeah. So shout out to Shonda Rhimes. It is phenomenal. She's such a talented, talented individual, a lovely human being. So I've heard, and well, I would yeah, the girl says no, I won't go. The girl says no, no, I won't go.
Speaker 2:The girl says no even if I go with you even if. I'm. That's you know what. That's a real friend and that's that's the honesty being able to stand like 10 toes down on that decision.
Speaker 1:I love that fruitful and most productive is for there to be at least a part of it. That those are separate things. That's your things and this is my thing right your thing is bridgerton. I got some stuff that I'm interested in that you could care less about.
Speaker 2:It is what it is and I just think that makes sense, and I think the unfortunate part of like society and culture nowadays is that you really think, in order for us to be on one accord, on the same page, that we have to love the same things. But that's part of the problem. The reason why we're different is because for iron or sharpened iron or whatever like, we have to have a different type of spark. We have to you have to compliment me in an area where I'm not as strong. You have to compliment me in an area where I'm not as strong. And so some of our problems is we get to the point where we think we I have to be strong in all the areas that Tanisha is strong in, but why would I need her as a friend if I'm strong in that too?
Speaker 1:Like. That doesn't make sense. What's up, gang? It's Tanisha again, and I hope you're enjoying the episode so far. I just wanted to take a quick moment to remind you to subscribe and follow our podcast. By subscribing, you'll never miss an episode, and new episodes will automatically appear in your feed as soon as they're released. Plus, if you follow us, you'll be the first to know about any special announcements, bonus content and exclusive interviews. And if you're loving what you hear, why not give us a rating or review? We greatly appreciate it. Thanks again, and I'll talk to you soon. I don't know what this is gonna turn out to be, but it's gonna be cute regardless I feel like we got some good little pockets that we'll marry together.
Speaker 1:It's going to take me a minute, though.
Speaker 2:I agree I was like low key, like you got a couple of episode things you can break down or whatever and like be okay with like everything, like was said or like let it flow. I think people really they relate to everything we said more than we realize, more than people yeah, so I mean, it is what it is yeah, this is a pretty vulnerable episode it was like my god.