Things You Should Know
Laughing is a Coping Mechanism pt. 1
Have you ever felt the need to laugh off life's absurdities to keep your sanity? Chelsea and I certainly do! Join us for part 1 of the conversation as we chat about our favorite ways to relax and de-stress, from long, candle-lit showers to the comfort of a well-curated environment. Humor is our go-to coping mechanism, and we delve into how cracking jokes and focusing on positive self-talk can make life’s challenges easier. Therapy, self-improvement, and the value of supportive friendships are all on the table as we explore the narratives we tell ourselves and strive for a healthier mental state.
Have you ever felt the need to laugh off life's absurdities to keep your sanity? Chelsea and I certainly do! Join us for part 1 of the conversation as we chat about our favorite ways to relax and de-stress, from long, candle-lit showers to the comfort of a well-curated environment. Humor is our go-to coping mechanism, and we delve into how cracking jokes and focusing on positive self-talk can make life’s challenges easier. Therapy, self-improvement, and the value of supportive friendships are all on the table as we explore the narratives we tell ourselves and strive for a healthier mental state.
what's up? Gang trinisha english here and you are listening to the things you should know podcast and before we start today, make sure you like, follow and subscribe to the pod wherever you get your podcast. Oh, maybe we should also talk about how we met. Yeah yeah.
Speaker 2:So, oh my gosh, like we met. I don't remember how you met, I didn't. I don't either like I don't remember. So, oh my gosh, we met in college. I don't remember how we met.
Speaker 1:I don't either. I don't remember meeting you. You just appeared in my life.
Speaker 2:No, I promise you Hold on, hold, on, hold on, before we go too far. It's going to be great.
Speaker 1:We're at the podcast. Uh, what's up everybody? It's your girl, trinisha english, and this is the things you should know. Podcast featuring me, trinisha english. And today I am here with a very, very, very special guest, someone who I've been trying to get on the podcast since we started recording and we're not gonna talk about that part of it because y'all not gonna come for my friend like that, but please, uh, welcome to the show. I know where's my Rashawn Club, but y'all probably know her as Chelsea Goodload. Chelsea, I'm so glad to have you here. How are you today?
Speaker 2:I am, so I'm good. Well, I'm cool, I ain't gonna, I'm not even gonna lie, so we'd be like. You know how we naturally respond, and just say oh. I'm good and don't even think about it. But yeah, today has been kind of a day, but thank you so much for having me. I'm so excited. We're Sean Club. We're Sean Club, rashawn Club, rashawn Club, rashawn Club.
Speaker 1:Woo, woo, yeah, sweet. And Chelsea, you already. I knew you were going to be a good guest Because you're already like walking down that path. So Chelsea and I have been friends for over a decade. At this point, oh, my gosh, we didn't know. Oh, but Chelsea and I met at iu and I'll probably leave it in.
Speaker 1:I don't remember how we met, I promise I don't need, but I just you were there, yeah and oh, and I'll say this chelsea. One of the things that I really love and appreciate about our friendship is we aren't the type of friends that we need to talk every day. Yes, um, and so like. There'll be moments where me and Chelsea are hanging real tough and then life happens, things happen, right, I mean, everyone goes through this, and then we're not. But anytime I see her, we pick up like nothing. No time has passed, and one of the commitments that we have made to each other is to always be honest with ourselves, like with each other, right, like if I have something that I'm carrying, like chelsea is my person, yep, and I hope that I'm that for you absolutely.
Speaker 2:When I need to release boom, let's go like if I need to talk about something open and honestly.
Speaker 1:So that's why, when I asked chelsea, you know like, how are you doing? We are programmed to just give people like, oh yeah, I'm good, I'm good, I'm good, but because she's talking to me, she, she kept it a buck check myself I'm cool, I'm not about to lie to you, so I really appreciate that. Anyway, chelsea, anything you want to say to the people, introduce yourself, shout any and everybody out.
Speaker 2:What you got to do, um well, I just want to say hello to the people like I don't know I was like I guess we're going to dig into it like again. I'm just really excited to be here. Um, I really don't know what else to say because you know, I'm just gonna start talking like hey, what's up? People, I love y'all, hope y'all love Jesus.
Speaker 1:I don't know, yeah no, that's perfect, all right. So, like I said, uh, chelsea and I have made the commitment to be honest about our mental health with each other, and so this whole episode is going to be a mental health check. And now, if you're listening and you're like, oh no, I don't need something heavy episode is going to be a mental health check. And now, if you're listening and you're like, oh no, I don't need something heavy, we are going to keep this super light-hearted, we, it's going to be great. So just trust me, but ride with us, it'll be helpful. So, chelsea, the first question that I want to ask you is uh, what is something funny that has happened to you recently?
Speaker 2:um, I guess you could like try to figure out what what funny would be, because I think sometimes, like I really have like a dark sense of humor. So it's like to look at me, you really wouldn't know. So it's like to most people like that's not funny, but to me, like no, that is so, you really wouldn't know. So it's like to most people like that's not funny, but to me like no, that is so you really tripping off of that Like. So I'm just going to laugh. I mean, it's really hard to think of something offhand. Like I thought about the fact that I felt like I got trapped in the jail today and then no, like let me go ahead and tell this story.
Speaker 1:I was worried about my friend today.
Speaker 2:Let's do it. That's why it's funny, because, yep, it goes with mental health.
Speaker 2:I was worried, oh my God. So I missed a meeting today for work because I was in another meeting and I thought I was going to be able to get out and so basically you have to be escorted out and all this other stuff. So essentially, I got trapped While I'm sitting in this meeting and I can't get out of this jail and my phone is off in a locker. So that's the thing. So like you got checking your stuff in phones in a locker and it's off, and so I'm supposed to be in this meeting and you're supposed to be in this meeting.
Speaker 1:I wasn't supposed to be in the meeting with you. I was in the meeting without you.
Speaker 2:Yes, so I'm sitting here, trapped, and my mind is going crazy, not because I'm missing the meeting, but I'm laughing to myself because everyone else in the meeting may not understand. But I'm like Tanisha's in this meeting and she probably thought I've driven my car Like she. Her phone is going to voicemail, she is dead. She's not going to make it. They done beamed her.
Speaker 1:Literally was like who took my friend? Is this taken?
Speaker 2:What happened? Please come and get me. Look, I don't have a great set of skills, but I will call somebody. Look, take it. So it that's not funny. No, it's hilarious but to me it's like the fact that I'm sitting in this meeting now, that I'm missing this productive meeting for business to go forward, but the fact that my friend is sitting in this meeting thinking that I'm not okay all right, but I gotta tell y'all from our side.
Speaker 1:So we're in the meeting. Chelsea's not there. And so, like people be running late. So we're like, oh, we're gonna get going in the meeting. So we're going, people, we're talking, or whatever. I'm only have paying attention. The meeting goes for like 10 minutes and then we're like, yo, chelsea is not here. Like this isn't like her. And we're like, yeah, this isn't like her, so like she should be here soon, like. And then, like 15 minutes into the meeting, we're like, okay, no, something's up, something's up. Long story long.
Speaker 1:Over the course of this hour meeting, the things that are going through my mind on where chelsea could be are just getting worse and worse and worse. And finally, at the end of the meeting, because, like I'll be honest, like I was last, because I was like I'm gonna let them hit you up, they're calling you, it's going to voicemail. So I'm like, hold on, I'm not about to flex, like you know, like I'm probably on the. You know, let through, I'm not on the, do not disturb. Like you know, all right, so I'm gonna let y'all go um.
Speaker 1:And then bria shout out to bria, a freaking guest of the podcast. It's like her text. When I texted her it said her notifications were up and finally I was like, nah, I'm blowing my friend up, she's gone, she's gone. I was like, who got her? Where is she at? What do they want for her? How fast do we need to get together some cash please? Oh, I hope y'all got some savings. We was blowing them on that. I was like, oh no, where's my friend? Um, but yeah, so that's cool.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's something funny. That's happened. Are you gonna tell me something?
Speaker 1:funny that's happened to you. This is a funny thing. This is actually the funniest thing that has happened to me and this is kind of dark well, it'll be better. Okay, I was a victim of a scam you.
Speaker 2:There's no first of all, but we gotta pause, we gotta pause. No, no, no, no, listen, listen, no, just pause my mind.
Speaker 1:Let me tell you, let me tell you okay so I had never heard of this before, but I'm gonna tell y'all this story because y'all need to be informed. There is this scam called brushing, so essentially, no right I was like what. So here let me and I was a victim of the brushing scam now let me tell you what happened so over like the past week and a half. Every day I come home there's a box from amazon out on the porch, but I haven't ordered anything from amazon in like a month, I think or so.
Speaker 1:But and all the packages have my name on it. But alia uses my sister, uses my prime sometimes, so I'm just assuming like she's been ordering stuff. Why? Like she didn't change the name of shipping address. So I'm just bringing the boxes in and like sending them down, thinking like oh she's, they're from amazon, she's obviously expecting them. She'll open her boxes and keep pushing. So like I'm telling you like these boxes are piling up, it's like no lie. Like seven, eight boxes, oh my gosh, that have been sitting for a week unopened. So I finally say to alia hey, you gonna open your packages and do something with them. And she says to me those aren't my packages so where we we've been getting mysterious packages.
Speaker 1:Apparently there's a scam called brushing, where people who are selling things, if they get your name and address, they will mail whatever they're selling to you free of charge, but then go on sites and write reviews or they'll use like the fact that this was a sale to like boost their product. So not only do I have like these random packages, but it's a bunch of random things. The other thing is, like they've been paid for and there's no like history for them. So like I'm googling on the internet, okay, like what do I need to do with the packages? And they were like you keep, like they are your property, you keep them. Like these things now belong to you, and I'm gonna get to the noise. So I was like okay, interesting, I just got.
Speaker 2:I got scammed but I got a bunch of free stuff.
Speaker 1:Here's the drawback. So now there's some stuff that I was like, oh, this is interesting, like, uh, there's, this was a uh foam pillow, like a memory foam pillow, okay, cool, there was like a power bank, there was a insect trap, which is about to be summer, so I guess like that was kind of nice. And there were like random things that could like. So those are like practical things, not things that I would have bought for myself, but then they're like random things that I'm like, okay, interesting, like this watercolor set, oh, here's what a power bank, oh, watercolor chelsea, I'm gonna give this to you and I'm going to ask you to describe this to the listeners what, what is that?
Speaker 2:I don't even know why. A drain button with a return spring, a rubber drain plug, like I'm wait, what is this idea for? I'm really I don't even know what I'm describing right now. I don't even know what's in this box. It literally looks like a midi water cooler with paint on the side. Like this, this product doesn't even make sense. Like why would anyone buy this? This doesn't even. Why did you just pull out all these boxes?
Speaker 1:because those are the trainees. I also. I got a wig, a lace front this is a goodie bag.
Speaker 2:Open it up and it came with mink eyelashes.
Speaker 1:Yeah, girl I can put your eyelashes on you want to try it like yes, I just got me some clusters it's the wig cap for me. Please, trinisha please wear this wig. No, I'm not. Why is this 26?
Speaker 2:it's actually not a bad way. It's really not like it's not bad things. Uh, there's also this anime figurine that I got, that I've never seen before.
Speaker 1:Uh, grab that white box right there. That's like a little like cool battery operated water bottle that I don't know.
Speaker 2:Are you sure that's what this is?
Speaker 1:yes, I'm being funny right now no, no, no, no, because it looks, here we go. Here we go because I'm gonna wait.
Speaker 2:It might not no, it is the water bottle, it is.
Speaker 1:But this is actually kind of cool. Open this box right here. They also sent me like a screen protector. What cool. Open this box right here. They also sent me like a screen protector.
Speaker 2:What I was being funny, but they really sent you this.
Speaker 1:No, they really sent me male sex toys.
Speaker 2:Oh my they sent me male sex toys first of all, you're a female, so you're not like.
Speaker 1:Maybe they want you to listen, so, oh my god um, if you want some male sex toys, she got them on deck like I mean.
Speaker 2:There are several over here like. This is ridiculous yeah, and why would they send this to you? So here's the thing right, I have no idea. No, I don't like I don't we gonna get to the nitty gritty?
Speaker 1:no, because I'm honestly intimate.
Speaker 2:I buy my sex toys in person. Like I don't want to be, I don't order them on so like what is that?
Speaker 1:and oh, why would I be looking at it like they literally sent me a male master buttercup. Why does it?
Speaker 2:say past the hole of no return. I'm probably not supposed to be saying stuff like this on the phone. Oh I'm about to get beamed up. Oh my god, yes, so straight, shut up.
Speaker 1:So now I have to now I have to figure out, because these now belong to me and they've been sitting on my dining room table. Wrap them up, give them as gifts, but to who actually?
Speaker 2:actually we can name a couple people not naming on here.
Speaker 1:No, no, no, no, yeah, so like um so listen, if you all are in the market, um, let me know, I got some stuff I can see your mom's gonna be so mad at me for talking about this with you I'm getting banned from the family
Speaker 2:no, you're not, she's gonna think that that yeah there are also like a bunch of really random things. I'm about to wear this lace front. I don't even know how to wear wigs, girl.
Speaker 1:We about to and again like what am I going to do Like I don't wear? I usually don't wear wigs I be talking about like'm dramatic. What in the demonic? Get that out your house this figurine. We don't even know what this means, but anyway, as a thank you for being on the show, you want this hydrogen life water bottle.
Speaker 2:I was going to say here you go, you can use it, you can use this. Make sure you use it for water or listen.
Speaker 1:It could be something else. I didn't really open it, who knows, based on the other things that I got. Who knows what it is?
Speaker 2:so you, have to put let's get these mink lashes. I'm gonna be blinking all the way beam me up.
Speaker 1:Anyway, that is the funniest thing that has happened to me.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's, no, it's I really didn't think that that box was like.
Speaker 1:I was being like, I'm horrible because you know our darks is the humor.
Speaker 2:So I'm gonna be funny and I'm looking over.
Speaker 1:No, this is really what this is they also did send me one female sex toy. They sent me a rabbit. I'm gonna keep that, but my mom listens to this let me stop recording, please exit, out, exit out, I'm gonna keep that, but.
Speaker 2:I don't.
Speaker 1:Anyway. What's up? Gang Trenisha English here, and I hope you're enjoying the podcast so far. Just wanted to take a quick moment to remind you to subscribe and follow our podcast. By subscribing, you'll never miss an episode and new episodes will automatically appear in your feed as soon as they are released. Plus, if you follow us, you'll be the first to know about any special announcements, bonus content and exclusive interviews. And if you're loving what you hear, why not rate us and review us wherever you get your podcasts? All right, now back to the show. Um chelsea, what's your favorite way to relax or distress?
Speaker 2:is that a real question? Like see in the responses, like what? Um, my initial response is sleep, but I don't think it's real because it's avoidance, no, like, sometimes like sleep, like it depends on the type of sleep. So my favorite way to like distress and like relax is definitely sleeping. But a part of me is like okay, am I avoiding something or am I really like relaxing? I really enjoy like water and being around like water.
Speaker 1:But when's the?
Speaker 2:last time I've actually been around water and I think, um, really tapping into what helps me de-stress is, um, something that's been kind of hard, even the last couple years, right, so like, but definitely for me, like long hot showers, like with candles and music, and indoor a bubble bath or something like like so hence the water like even like that's crazy, but that's that's the vibe for me, and so being able to take that time and do that, like I'm a very atmospheres are very important for me and so, um, if the atmosphere is not right, like I can, because I'm very sensitive to stuff, so if it's not right, I can sense that, but like, yeah, sleeping and or a shower, like nice long shower where I can cry, when can't nobody see me crying, and then sing songs and imagine I'm the person they're gonna be.
Speaker 2:Like they're insane, they're nuts, but like are we or are we saying the things that people are really not saying and or talking about? Because I literally like conversations like this. I have these with several black women who are strong and powerful and who are running things and like, make little, like jokes, and it doesn't even I don't want to limit to say even black women, but like people, my friends in general, who like how do you navigate the space of? Like I am not insane, but this is what I'm feeling right now and forgive me because, like you know where I'm going with my life, so let me not like use the word insane or crazy loosely. Like I know this is supposed to be lighter, so I understand the proper way to use everything. So I'm not trying to marginalize or like throw shots at anybody, but there are moments you really have real thoughts and it's like how do I? I feel even more quote unquote crazy when I can't say no, like am I sleeping to avoid?
Speaker 1:or what am I doing, you know? No, that's real and I will say, because I look a nap, I like are you talking about slumber, are you? Just talking about naps, because I feel like those are different things. Look at me. Look at me enabling you.
Speaker 2:Go ahead and slumber it all the way, just slumber it away. Drool on all the pillows.
Speaker 1:No, no, no If it's a nap and you're only doing it for a couple of hours. You just went and you game planned and then you came back. That's not avoidance, Exactly.
Speaker 2:It's like go ahead, See, and this is why you're my friend.
Speaker 1:Thank you for helping me and supporting me in my journey to get better, to get better, yo I I appreciate you saying that. Right like we are, I have a dark sense. That's probably how we. That's why we don't remember how we met yeah, because it was probably something really crazy really dark.
Speaker 1:Um, so, like, that is how I have started to. That is how I personally cope with my mental health issues. It's comedy, yep, because that's what I want to do. Like, that is my quick release, right, I'm not feeling it, something's making me uncomfortable, but if I can laugh like I love laughing, all right, that'll reset me, right. Um, and so I make a joke out of this about anything.
Speaker 2:Everything's funny to me, who did the body?
Speaker 1:Dang, who got the body I got to grow up? That was extreme, do I really? But I think like that is. So I've started seeing a psychologist, you know.
Speaker 2:Leveling up my therapy.
Speaker 1:Not just a therapist, you have a psychologist one of the things that he was telling me is like oh, oftentimes in the narratives we tell ourselves we focus on the negative things and we don't uplift the positive right like positive so here we go right, because you're, you're, I'm on the same thing.
Speaker 1:It's like you're so light-hearted, you're really intentional. You know I can blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. You know all the stuff that therapists tell you and I wanted to be like I'm glad. I literally said to him I'm glad you see that, because I feel like trash remember we said we were supposed to stop calling ourselves trash. No, I'm trash.
Speaker 2:We have to stop. We have to speak the proper things. Yeah, we do.
Speaker 1:I mean his point was like if there are more people in the world like me, there wouldn't be insert crime, blah, blah, blah, Because you don't do those things. You are all about improvement. I mean, listen, y'all make good points and so, yeah, I don't know, this is getting way deeper.
Speaker 2:I was about to say you're pausing a little bit, because you're like oh, this is about you're about to be really transparent with your listeners. So like, do you want me to hop in or do you want to keep talking right now, because I'm looking at your face? I was like I can insert comment here, or we're just going to cut all of this.
Speaker 2:We are not and you better leave. When, when you just say we're going to cut all this, you better leave all this. But I mean, I'll jump in real quick with like to the point of your psychologist. Like I definitely understand what he's saying.
Speaker 2:It's so crazy that I have this dark sense of humor, but I am, like literally such an optimist and it's so easy for me to be an optimist and an encourager for other people, and so sometimes it's like I sit back and I can see what I like, what people quote unquote allegedly may see in me or whatever like I can see in other people, and I can push it.
Speaker 2:But sometimes it's so hard to push it for myself. But to your psychologist's point, if there are more people like you in the world, then it would be much better. Because of that I you know, here I go, I'm about to go with my spiritual side. The enemy knows like. So if, like, tanisha can believe how amazing and dope she is, then she's going to continue to produce like kind. So let me attack her mind and make her think that she's not as amazing as she is, and so then she's going to be stuck in this place and in this rut and make her feel like, oh, I'm trash, so I'm preaching this and I believe it for everybody else, but sometimes it's the mind.
Speaker 1:You know, I'm so glad that you say that, because I'm gonna connect this with this thing, like and I think people say this all the time like, check on your strong friend or like ask back your strong friend. I think like that's important, because we show up that way for everyone else.
Speaker 1:It is it, that is the honestly, it's a defense mechanism I got to talk about you and we can talk about what you're going through and I can support you. Then we don't got to talk about me. Come on, it's a little rocky over here right now, right, so it's deflect, deflect, deflect. And that's real, and that is the power of like checking on your strong friend, because they are often. They are often strong out of fear. I am being strong for everyone else because I don't want people to know what's going on with me. So if I'm strong for you, y'all gonna want assume the girl got it.
Speaker 1:She don't but y'all aren't gonna ask yeah, y'all aren't gonna ask.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's crazy. I literally sent a text message last night and I was basically saying like, hey, like I know I show up as like really really like this strong person, but at the end of the day, like I'm really like, I'm really weak and I show up as a strong person because I never want to be viewed as a liability to you. And so, in saying that and being able to name that, like my mind was blown that I said that and then like, furthermore, it's like I'm trying to get you to understand, like why I may start moving the way that I'm moving. And it's I and I was like, and I was like my strength, really, me showing up acting like I'm so strong and I said this in the message me showing up acting like I'm so strong, and I got it. It's really a weakness.
Speaker 2:And, um, so, to your point, like talking to speaking about like that defense mechanism and so, um, yeah, just not wanting to be viewed. And then, like the questions, like it's hard because even, like you know, a few weeks ago, like you you can't, you pulled up and you like checked on me and so, even in checking on me, like being in the hot seat and having a difficult conversation about that and like it's just, it's really hard because it's like it makes you really face your emotion and like really figure out, okay, where am I at, what am I doing? Like no, it really is a mess over here and I don't know. It's not that you don't want to share with your friend that it's a mess, but it's like when I don't know how to navigate my mess, but I can help you navigate your mess, are you then going to stop trusting me helping you?
Speaker 2:to navigate your mess. You know, and I mean when we say mess, for lack of a better word, like am I not that good part or that not even a good person am I? Am I not a credible source?
Speaker 1:well and I often think about like am I a credible source? But I often start to beat myself in that like I can fix their stuff, but I can't even begin to mess with mine. Hey, listeners, a quick reminder to subscribe and follow our podcast so you never miss an episode. And if you're enjoying the show, please rate and review us. Your support means the world to us. Now back to the show chelsea. Anything you want the people to know or be aware of, um, what you want to talk about, what you want to talk about I, I really for people just know and be aware.
Speaker 2:I think it just kind of I just kind of touched on it with what I was saying just earlier about, or just a few seconds ago more or less just being strong in who you are and knowing that, um, you are created for something specific. And I mean not to be deep, but I think we really are trying to just create the same thing and we're trying to recreate the same thing instead of create what we're supposed to create and navigate how we're supposed to navigate, knowing that you are important, that you are special, and sometimes we can get in our our own head and we definitely are in our own way. And I mean, I just want to say how proud I am of you stop it.
Speaker 1:No, you're not about to make me cry. Yes, I am.
Speaker 2:Stop it yes, I am not not yes.
Speaker 1:I am, like I'm about to make you cry. Yes, I am. Yes, I am. I'm about to make you cry. No.
Speaker 2:I'm not trying to make you cry, I'm just trying to, um, give you your flowers, like verbally, um, and just saying how proud I am of you for one. Like I was just looking at your certificate over there of completion and like your graduation, and then like we're sitting here in a moment where, like I remember when you were like creating the graphic and all this other stuff, and like like we're sitting in something that you thought about and that you're executing, and so in the moments when you feel like man, am I credible? Like know that you're literally doing things, that other people, they that are stuck in their head and they have the ability to do and they just won't. The people that are stuck in their head and they have the ability to do and they just won't. So you are literally trailblazing and being that like example and that model that people need. So in those moments, the reason why I think of course you get attacked, so whatever, is because you literally you push through and you break barriers.
Speaker 2:So I am proud of you, I am so excited for what is about to happen and I pray that you continue to have people around you who would like remind you of these things and and then silence that voice that thinks that, oh, I'm trash, because you know we both do it. But sitting here in several moments and then I don't know, even when I pulled up, I thought about, like a couple years ago, just like around, like it's around Juneteenth, like it's the time, like this is the time, and I like just looking and just sitting in the manifestation of like you and like you setting goals and like achieving entertaining, so I'm proud of you.
Speaker 2:I know you wanted people to know that you were proud of me yes, and then model what you what to know, like giving your friends flowers while they can receive them, like that's. I think a lot of times we get caught up, and especially when we don't know how to like receive or give compliments appropriately and like. So, like just making sure that the people that you really rock with like know that. And I think, because we don't have to speak every day, sometimes like that can get lost in translation, and so one thing also I want people to know is you don't have to speak to your friends every day. They that can get lost in translation, and so one thing also I want people to know is you don't have to speak to your friends every day.
Speaker 2:They still love you yeah, they like if they're really your friend, if they really rock with you, yeah and I think that is something I really want to begin to spread to everybody because, like you see a lot of posts and like memes that are going around like of course we were talking about checking on strong friends and all that, and like you know, you don't know what they're going through, and like you see all that stuff, but it's like I don't think people really it's not just a post and it's not like, oh, I don't think people really understand, but I really want people to know that I think we struggle accepting, like if you don't hear from me or talk to me, whatever, it's like people really struggle.
Speaker 2:Accepting like no, like I really do, like love you. I just right now in this season, I need to love myself. When it's like a more. It's like especially if you have a person who's always like a giver and so like in certain seasons it's like okay, if I pull back and I always talk about like communicating where you are, so some of the barriers. It's like we don't communicate where we are in those moments, but like y'all, like people we love, we love for real. So that's it.
Speaker 1:Let your people know yeah, I love that and I think I will hit on the reverse. The thing I want people to know is let people give you your flowers, right?
Speaker 2:yeah, and listen to them right listen to what they're saying.
Speaker 1:Hear what they're saying. Like it's important, it's impactful. I know like sometimes you don't like to sit it. Sometimes it can be difficult to sit in the positive right it can be difficult to sit in people praising you, especially if the narratives you're telling yourself are different from that. Yeah, and if you want to cut out that cycle, you have to um be intentional about replacing the negative voices it's not just quieting them, it's replacing them.
Speaker 1:So, um, one of the commitments that I made to myself this year I usually do my new year's resolutions at my birthday and not at the top of the calendar year and the resolution that I made this year was like, no matter what trinisha I am talking to past, present, future trinisha that I was always going to talk positively to her and that when I got in my cycles of negative things or I was going to be beating myself up, not letting it spiral. Yeah, like saying things like oh, let that go. Or okay stop that.
Speaker 1:Okay, it's okay. You cannot fix that. We we need to move on right. Like we can't keep dwelling on that and I have been really intentional about my journaling so I've been, really I've been. Something about the start of summer has like pushed me to be really intentional and my word for the month of june is consistency so I want to start doing, being a little bit more consistent.
Speaker 1:So because of that, I've been really consistent in my journaling and through my journaling. I was journaling the other day and was realizing that it's more than just quieting the voices, because I'm having a conversation with my therapist and he's asking me okay, what are the positive things that you're saying? You say to yourself and I don't have, like I couldn't think of anything.
Speaker 1:But when he asked me what negative things I tell myself, I could just rattle those things off and I realized like it's not just about saying oh, I'm going to stop my negative self-talk, it's about also saying I have to directly replace that negative thought with a positive one right like I have to flip it and say you know, yes, I'm feeling this way, but I am loved.
Speaker 1:I am cherished like I am important. You is important. You is right like you have to. It's not just about like no, that's not the thought, or I'm gonna stop myself from going on that thought pattern. I'm gonna move forward.
Speaker 1:You have to take the beat to pour back into yourself absolutely you you, even though you didn't or at least this is what I'm finding even though I didn't, um, even though it wasn't a negative 10, it was still a negative 2. Yeah, like you still have to replenish yourself. So, yeah, I appreciate you sharing that. That's a really good thing. People should know. Yeah Well, chelsea, I'm going to get on out. Well, let us get on out of here, because I don't think we can drop any better nuggets than that.
Speaker 1:I appreciate you all for listening. Chelsea, thank you for being here. Thank, I appreciate you all for listening. Chelsea, thank you for being here, thank you, thank you, and I will talk to you all next time. Okay, bye, bye.
Speaker 2:Disclaimer Wait till marriage.
Speaker 1:There y'all go Wait till marriage. There y'all go wait till marriage. Listen, sometimes you gotta get one off. I cannot, I cannot oh, lord you have funny things that happened to me that, that this.
Speaker 2:That was pretty funny. I think that probably top mine. Yeah, this is top mine, yeah, definitely I can.
Speaker 1:What is this I'm about to face? Oh, it's a uh screen protector and uh, yeah, you open it. No, take it if you want it. I don't have the device that it goes with. I don't think. Hold on, let me see this. I would say they gave you, they got you some good stuff. Large galaxy trap tablet with strap. And we don't do galaxy, put this right back in the. I was going to say they got you some good stuff.
Speaker 2:Large galaxy tablet with strap and pin. We don't do galaxies. Let me put this right back in the screen.
Speaker 1:If you know anyone who has a galaxy and you want to give them a nice present, just call me up. You can wrap that They'll think you did a great job.