Overcoming Perfectionism: Embracing Imperfections for a Life of Courage, Compassion, and Connection

What if your relentless quest for perfection is actually holding you back? In this heartfelt episode of Unleash Your Inner Radiance, I, Lisa, your Catalyst, Life, Wellness, and Transformation Coach, share my personal struggles with perfectionism and how it often disguises deeper issues of shame. Join me as I unravel the ways perfectionism whispers that we are never good enough, and how this constant pursuit of flawlessness can lead to anxiety, depression, and even life paralysis.

Tune in as I explore four key insights about the destructive and addictive nature of perfectionism and why it has nothing to do with true achievement or growth. Learn how embracing imperfections and taking risks can help you live a life filled with courage, compassion, and connection. This episode is a loving invitation to all who battle the need to be perfect, reminding us that it's okay to be imperfect and that we are in this together. Grab your favorite cup of coffee or tea, and let's embark on this empowering journey towards a more compassionate and connected life.

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:29

Hey there, beautiful souls, welcome back to another episode of Unleash your Inner Radiance. I'm Lisa, your Catalyst, life, wellness and Transformation Coach and the host of this inspiring podcast. Today, I invite you to find a comfy chair, grab a hot cup of coffee or tea and settle in as we dive deep into a topic that is really close to my heart. Like I say this every episode, but this one is about letting go of perfection, and perfectionism is a daunting thing to have to struggle with, because it seems like a quest for excellence but in reality, it's actually masking something much darker shame, and I struggle a lot with that, and that's why I wanted to talk about this today.

Speaker 1: 1:25

So, where perfectionism exists, shame is always lurking in the shadows. It's always lurking in the back of your mind. It's always the thing saying you're not good enough, you can't do this, why did you even try? It's always ready to claim us, and it's a very daunting word, the word shame, but the truth is, shame often sneaks into our lives through our relentless pursuit for perfection. Sorry, stumbled over that word, but today we are going to unravel the complex relationship and explore how striving to be perfect can actually hold us back from our potential, and I feel like I am struggling with this really bad right now. So I want to embark on this journey with you guys today, embracing our imperfections and learning how we can live a life filled with courage and compassion and connection. So I really want to get started. So if you're like me and I struggle with this, you have probably struggled with this at some point in your life. Maybe you're still struggling, and that's okay, because I am and we're in this together. It's okay because I am and we're in this together. The idea that where perfection exists is shame is always right behind you, and it's always. It's just a really powerful one, because it's shame is the birthplace for perfection, and it's a heavy word, but it's essential to understand that shame claims us, shame claims me in my ego, and one of the biggest ways it sneaks into our lives and in my life is the need to be perfect.

Speaker 1: 3:29

Perfectionism is not a good thing. So how I often viewed perfectionism is that it was a good thing. Right, but it isn't. It's a mistake that I've made and we often mistake perfectionism for striving to be our best, but it's not about achievement or growth. Instead, it's about minimizing the pain of shame and judgment, and its core. Perfectionism is about trying to earn approval and acceptance. Now, when you struggle with perfectionism this is huge and I know that because I struggle with it firsthand what will people think? What will people say? And that is my ego talking to me, and that's why this was so important for me today.

Speaker 1: 4:37

So research, when I was researching this research, research shows that perfectionism hampers our success. When I make mistakes, like I just did, it bothers me and it's like, oh, should I rerecord that? Should we do that? But in fact I shouldn't right, because if I keep doing that, it's going to lead to depression, it's going to lead to anxiety, addiction, addiction, redoing everything right, or life paralysis, because life paralysis is when we miss opportunities because we were too afraid to put anything imperfect into the world. That is it it. It holds us back from our dreams due to our deep fear of failing, making mistakes or maybe even just disappointing others, because it makes us terrified to take break, to take risks, and when you're a perfectionist, it attacks your self-worth and it makes you feel like you're always on the line. You're always going to falter, you're always going to fail.

Speaker 1: 6:06

So I want to talk about four key insights about perfection right now. One perfectionism is a self-destructive and addictive behavior. It's a system of thoughts that go through your head. Two perfectionism is self-destructive and that is simply because there is no such thing as being perfect. Do it messy, do it and just get it out there right, but if you're a perfectionist, you cannot do that. Perfectionism will stop you in your tracks. Three perfectionism is addictive because when we experience shame, judgment and blame, we often believe it's because we are not perfect enough. Because we are not perfect enough. Feeling shamed or judged and blamed are realities and they actually do happen right, but perfectionism increases the odds that we experience these painful emotions, and that leads us to self-blame, like it's my fault, I'm not good enough.

Speaker 1: 7:39

So how can we overcome perfectionism? First, we need to acknowledge how this is affecting our vulnerabilities, and our vulnerabilities are shame, judgment and blame. We need to develop shame resilience, which isn't easy, but it is possible. We also need to practice self-compassion. This journey is an ongoing journey, but it will make us more loving and compassionate with ourselves. As we build and practice our shame resilience, I hope we can start embracing our imperfections, because these are our truest gifts Courage, compassion and connection.

Speaker 1: 8:44

So today I hope I have a connection with you guys, because this is a really courageous topic for me to talk about, because I am very perfectionist and I am learning how that has held me back and I know that it sounds. You know, I don't know what it sounds like right now, but it is a tough thing to just say. I'm putting this out there and if people listen, people look, people watch, people judge, I don't care, because I have something to say and I want to share it, because I have something to say and I want to share it. And I need to remember that perfectionism is also it's just our self-talk and it's negative self-talk. It's like ugh, nothing fits me, I'm fat and ugly, I'm ashamed of myself and my looks. That is what perfectionism self-talk sounds like.

Speaker 1: 9:54

Now let's talk a little bit about healthy, striving self-talk, because that looks like I want this. For me, I believe that I am worthy of love and respect the shift. If you follow it and you change, it is life-changing Because just look at, oh, nothing fits and I deserve this. I love the way I look. Right, we want to live with love and we want to live in love with our whole hearts. We want to embrace self-compassion, self-compassion.

Speaker 1: 10:48

So let's talk about three important elements of self-compassion. One self-kindness. Be warm and understanding towards yourself, because when we suffer, fail or feel inadequate, we're not doing self-kindness and, like I've said in other podcast episodes, if you say those bad things to yourself, would you say them to a friend? No, you wouldn't. So practice self-kindness. Two common humanity. Recognize that suffering and feelings of personal inadequacy are a part of a shared human experience, something we all go through. We all struggle with this. You're not alone. Everyone does but we need to figure out how we can get through it. We need to talk ourselves through it. Three mindfulness Having a balanced approach to negative emotions so that our feelings are neither suppressed or exaggerated, because we exaggerate a lot and when we're in shame and we exaggerate, that turns out to be not a good thing.

Speaker 1: 12:17

However, we can't ignore our pain, but we certainly can feel self-compassion for it. At the same time, I, like I've said several times, experience pain, perfection, paralysis many times in my life and now that I'm actually kind of learning more and more about this, I am wondering how bad I actually suffered it and how many miracles and opportunities I missed because of it. That has been a huge thing for me. I know that there are things in my past where I think back now and say, oh, that would have been an opportunity, that probably would have been a good opportunity. Oh, if I would have taken that opportunity, where would I be today? Right, but that was my perfection paralysis. It just stopped me from seeing the miracles, from living abundantly, from seeing the abundance, and I want you to remember that this is a journey, and if you need someone to help guide you through it, I am here for you. So let's get on a call and talk about how I can help you. But I want to thank you for joining me today on Unleash your Inner Radiance.

Speaker 1: 13:57

Letting go of perfection is a journey that we are on together. Embracing our imperfections and practicing self-compassion will definitely lead us to a more fulfilling, loving life. Remember that you are enough just as you are. If this episode resonated with you, I would absolutely love to hear your thoughts. Feel free to reach out, share your stories and let me know how I can support you on your journey. If you enjoyed today's episode, please subscribe. Please leave me a review and share it with someone who might benefit from this message, because we all struggle with it. You know that you know three people, at least that need to hear this message. Until next time, stay radiant, embrace your imperfections and keep shining your light. I'm Lisa, your Catalyst, life, wellness and Transformation Coach, and I cannot wait to connect with you again. Keep shining your inner radiance.