Made for Mothers
19. Putting Your Mask On First: Hormonal Health, Business & Motherhood with Staci LaRue
Staci LaRue might be my kindred spirit sister! We're both original water girlies, ex-NYC residents, who ended up in Northern Virginia...and I can't get enough of her mission to help moms feel more vibrant, healthy, and alive. She's a mom to two boys, married to a restaurateur, and runs Intuitive Fitness, a personal training studio in downtown Leesburg, VA. On top of that, she's the brains behind Sexy in the Middle, an online platform focusing on women's well-being in the middle years. Staci dives deep into topics like work-life balance, motherhood, marriage, relationships, health, and fitness, all while navigating the challenges of being in her middle years in a world that sometimes forgets about women like us.
Today, Staci and I chat about the ups and downs of balancing motherhood with running a business. We also tackle the wild world of perimenopause and women's hormone health, discussing why some symptoms affecting women 35 and older are common but definitely not normal. Staci shares some simple tips for getting your hormones back on track if they're out of whack, and we both stress the importance of finding a supportive community of strong women who understand what you're going through.
Staci's on a mission to empower women in their middle years to live their best lives because, let's face it, confidence is the ultimate sexy, no matter what stage of motherhood you're in. It's time to embrace your power and shine!
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Get Staci’s free 5 Day Hormone Reset HERE
Connect with Staci on Instagram @sexyinthemiddle
Learn more about Staci and how you can work with her by visiting her website
____
Connect with me on Instagram
Learn more about booking a Biz Therapy session and working together by visiting my website
Staci LaRue might be my kindred spirit sister! We're both original water girlies, ex-NYC residents, who ended up in Northern Virginia...and I can't get enough of her mission to help moms feel more vibrant, healthy, and alive. She's a mom to two boys, married to a restaurateur, and runs Intuitive Fitness, a personal training studio in downtown Leesburg, VA. On top of that, she's the brains behind Sexy in the Middle, an online platform focusing on women's well-being in the middle years. Staci dives deep into topics like work-life balance, motherhood, marriage, relationships, health, and fitness, all while navigating the challenges of being in her middle years in a world that sometimes forgets about women like us.
Today, Staci and I chat about the ups and downs of balancing motherhood with running a business. We also tackle the wild world of perimenopause and women's hormone health, discussing why some symptoms affecting women 35 and older are common but definitely not normal. Staci shares some simple tips for getting your hormones back on track if they're out of whack, and we both stress the importance of finding a supportive community of strong women who understand what you're going through.
Staci's on a mission to empower women in their middle years to live their best lives because, let's face it, confidence is the ultimate sexy, no matter what stage of motherhood you're in. It's time to embrace your power and shine!
__
Get Staci’s free 5 Day Hormone Reset HERE
Connect with Staci on Instagram @sexyinthemiddle
Learn more about Staci and how you can work with her by visiting her website
____
Connect with me on Instagram
Learn more about booking a Biz Therapy session and working together by visiting my website
I'm Stacey LaRue, mother of two boys ages 9 and 15, wife of a restaurateur, owner of Intuitive Fitness, a brick-and-mortar boutique personal training studio in downtown Leesburg, as well as the founder of Sexy in the Middle, an online brand addressing the holistic well-being of women in the middle. We dive deep into work-life balance, motherhood, marriage, relationships, sex, health and fitness, all while navigating the challenges of being middle-aged in a not-so-middle-age-friendly world.
Speaker 2:Hello and welcome to the Made for Mothers podcast, your one-stop shop for candid and relatable conversations about motherhood and entrepreneurship. Think of the show as your new mom friend, where we dive into all things marketing, branding, mindset, money, child care and growing your business while we all navigate our roles as both CEO and mom. I'm your host, mariah Stockman, and I wear a bunch of hats I'm a boy mama, I'm serving as a marketing mentor for mothers, I'm running a six-figure marketing agency and, on top of that, I'm the proud founder of the Made for Mothers community. This show is about sharing the real stories and the practical strategies from fellow mother-run businesses. So dive in, grab your headphones, reheat that coffee and let's go. Grab your headphones, reheat that coffee and let's go. Hello, hello, hello and welcome to another episode of the Made for Mothers podcast. I am your host, mariah Stockman, and I'm so excited to be with Stacey LaRue. Hi, stacey.
Speaker 1:Hi Mariah, so excited to be here.
Speaker 2:Yes, we literally were just talking before we pushed record. I feel like that could have been a whole separate podcast. Something fun I just found out about Stacey is that we're both transplants into Loudoun County. You had originally lived in New York and Florida and me from California, and I love just like bonding with other people who have moved into this same area and had different you know life experiences and you're a mom of two and I'm just. I love everything that you stand for for supporting women and moms to feel just more themselves and vibrant and alive and healthy and, yeah, I'm just excited to dive into all the things with you today. Yeah, me too, Mariah. Yeah, so tell me just a little bit about yourself.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so I did move here from New York City and it's amazing, as we were talking that I realized that I have been here 18 years now which seems so strange because I still feel brand new to Loudoun County.
Speaker 2:Yeah totally.
Speaker 1:There's people from Loudoun County and then there's all of us, right. But Loudoun County was a great place as a next step in my life. I was turning 30. I had just gotten engaged to my husband, who we met in New York City. He was there doing business and finance. I was there doing a few things. I had moved there to be on Broadway oh, that's cool, yes, Singer, dancer, trying to be an actress. And I started a career that I didn't know it was going to be a career. I took a job as a personal trainer because I always loved the gym, I always worked out from a young age and at the gym, kind of turned into a career because I didn't love the negative side of the business, of the show business, right, lots of rejection, lots of negativity, lots of body shaming, just things that weren't in line with who I was trying to be. And, yes, I met my husband. I fell in love. I thought, oh my gosh, I want to move away, have the house, the white picket fence, the children, all of it. And that brought us to Loudoun County. My husband had wanted to own a restaurant and New York City was probably not the first place to open your first restaurant and he had family here. So we wound up here in Loudoun County.
Speaker 1:I stayed with fitness and I had gotten a nutrition certification in New York City as well, and my first place of work was an all women's gym and I loved it there. I absolutely loved my boss, I loved everyone I worked with and it really opened my eyes to maybe this is my career, maybe this is it. It wasn't just something I was doing to pay the bills so I could go to auditions anymore. It was what I was doing, and in the midst of that we got married. I got pregnant with my first child.
Speaker 1:I transitioned to a few different places working. I had worked for myself in New York City, but coming here, I had to make a name for myself before going out on my own, and so I worked at a holistic medical practice. I worked at various gyms, but when my son turned one years old, I realized I needed more freedom. I needed to be able to stay home if he was sick. I needed to be able to take care of myself better and not work. You know, nine to five or eight to five is what I was working, and I ran into an old friend who had just rented, leased a space in downtown Leesburg, and she was like you should lease the office next to me. And I was like, no, I love that.
Speaker 1:Like what no? I you're like no way I have health insurance I I have a steady clientele coming in for these doctors.
Speaker 2:The benefits, the benefits I have health insurance. I have a steady clientele coming in for these doctors. The benefits the benefits?
Speaker 1:I can't. I just had a baby Like I can't, yeah, I can't become an entrepreneur. And she was like, why not? And then the other. There was another entrepreneur. They had the two offices. And then there was one in the middle and it was also a tiny little office. I'm like what am I going to do in this tiny little office? And she's like you're in a tiny little office, now just do the same thing, but for yourself and these two women who are both still in my life. One rents from me at my current studio. They told me to do it and I always. I was an entrepreneur in New York City and both of my parents are entrepreneurs, and so it's. You know it had to happen. Well, my husband had just opened his restaurant. So when I came home and said I'm going to quit my job and open my own studio in downtown Weedsburg, he's like no, you're not. Both be entrepreneurs. And, as my husband knows, all he has to do is say, no, you can't. And then here I go.
Speaker 2:And then here we are, and here we are being successful at it, yes, and we are.
Speaker 1:And here we are being successful at it, yes, and here I am kicking ass. So, yeah, of course he's proud of me and we made it work, but it was hard, and you know, I, I don't. I, I'm trying to think of some of the mistakes I made in the beginning, probably just working too many hours and not spending enough time focused on motherhood, because, oh, my goodness, the days are long, but the years are short, like there is no truer statement in parenthood.
Speaker 1:I can't say that enough to new moms and the sleepless nights and the sleepless mornings and all of it. I think back to it fondly. I look at my now 15 year old who's way up here right, he's so much taller than me now and I tell him you know, you were my squishy baby that we'd lay in bed together and I'd be late for clients or running late for work. But I wouldn't change it for the world. I think going off on my own was the best thing I did for myself. I was able to eventually find pieces of that confident Stacey that was in New York City seeing you know millionaire, billionaire clients and running around town, dancing, singing, doing all those things by opening my own studio, by going out on my own and becoming an entrepreneur.
Speaker 2:All with a one-year-old. With a one-year-old, I mean, I opened my business way before motherhood even was like enter the chat, you know, and so I feel like I had so many of my systems and processes and a team and all of this to help me through my maternity leave and through my birth and through, you know, my postpartum, which you know my maternity leave ended up being like four to six months, but I can't imagine building it with the baby. But also, this is the story we hear all the time. This is the story we hear on this podcast a lot, with a lot of guests of like you either have the business before, and that's one way, or you have your baby and it is the most eye-opening moment. It is so transformational and to think about going back to a traditional work environment that the system is so rigged against motherhood and moms.
Speaker 2:There is so much news coming out right now around different states that have the most, like the least, access to child care, the most unaffordable child care, the worst parental leave, I mean. But you hear, I hear from these moms who just say, you know, I can't leave my, my company, because I have really great health insurance there or something, and I'm like wait a minute. But they don't even care about you. Like they don't care if your kids get sick. Like you have no flexibility, like you know, and and there's so many other ways you can get health insurance.
Speaker 2:You know out in the world, and I know that it's just a, it's a fear, it's a, it's the mindset is coming from fear and limiting beliefs and just like not knowing how it works. But I can't imagine what that would have been like for you to kind of just be navigating all of that and you know the and having a one-year-old is just no joke. Like I feel like zero to one was one sort of hardship with my son and now one to two he'll be two in a couple of weeks but it's like he's a whole other beast. It's like so feral. But I just can't imagine what that was like for you. But what a transformational moment in that way that you just like stepped into it and did it and made it happen.
Speaker 1:It wasn't pretty and it definitely took a toll on everything. Thinking back on it, my husband had just opened a restaurant First time. He'd never been an entrepreneur. He was behind a security desk in New York City, you know. So he did work in wine shops and in wine bars getting ready to do this, but all of a sudden he was just gone. So the solo parenting on top of building my business was Brutal. It was brutal. Yes, that's a great word, Brutal.
Speaker 2:I have a solo parenting life as well too. My husband travels 100 plus days a year working and ending school shootings and it's wonderful and I'm so happy that he does that work and I totally am aligned with it and I'm proud of him. But I also can't stand it and I wouldn't wish it on anybody. It's definitely a life that only certain people really understand.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I can't imagine it, because that's a restaurant life. I mean, that's night, that's night, that's that's like the most hard with your baby yes, yes, though the nights were horrible and, um, we, we really do have a part one and part two to our story, because our second child wasn't for six more years. So at that time I was already a seasoned mom and had already had my business for five years and then moved my business. He, in the meantime, had opened another location and then another location right, the third location.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:And yeah. So we had a part one which definitely put it, put a wedge in the marriage. It was hard. We've learned so much. We're different people 15, you know, 14, 15 years later, with the second child, he, he promised, he said I promise, you know, I promise I'll be around more and and this and that, but it was still hard.
Speaker 1:Right Then I had a newborn again, and now I had upgraded my studio from I don't remember the exact square footage, but I think it was like I don't know. Uh, you know 150 square feet to now like 300 square feet.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so just the responsibility and the overhead and all of it. And now we're not launching, we're maintaining, and we don't want to, we want to be good stewards of what we built. So it's like you want to take really good care of it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, it can be done. You know, hindsight, I try to think of what, what things I would have done, different things, advice I can give to other entrepreneurs, but you know your babies I'm now looking at a 15 year old every day going you're going to leave soon.
Speaker 2:Oh my gosh.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I'm leaving in like less than three years, you know so. So that time with your babies is so precious and I'm glad that the first time around I did wind up having my first son go to a daycare and it was incredible. It was. She was a second mother and she and I are still friends. She doesn't do daycare anymore, but that was so helpful. I had so much flexibility now working for myself but then having someone like her, that my hours I wouldn't have had that flexibility. I think I was always nervous about our finances. I was always nervous about money because we did need me to work, yeah. So, finding the right daycare, finding affordable daycare, finding daycare that felt like a second mommy, which I remember. The first time around you're kind of like well, I don't want my kid to have another mommy, I'm his mommy, right, right. But then you meet these women and especially I think back to Miss Dana. Miss Dana was you know, she's a little older, wiser.
Speaker 1:You know her children were in their 20s Like she was perfect.
Speaker 2:She was the perfect she's probably a little mom for you too.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah it was somebody to cry to, it was somebody to lean on and it was somewhere to drop my kids so I could go work, whether I was going to work a nine to five day in my own business or whether I was going to work 10 to two. You know, it was flexible, it was somewhat affordable and it it definitely was a huge part of here in downtown Leesburg. My studio was right here in downtown Leesburg. We moved to downtown Leesburg so it was a completely different story. My husband did come home more often in the evenings because now he was at least six years established as the owner of his restaurants.
Speaker 1:He could step away more. And here we are, 15 years later he's home many, many nights. And here we are. You know, 15 years later he's home many, many nights and now it's great that he's in our, both of our son's lives. You know to talk about how was their day at school, what's going? On with your afterschool sports, whereas, you know, in their baby earlier days he wasn't home as many nights as I would have loved, but he was building and establishing his businesses and, like you said, the restaurant industry.
Speaker 2:that's night, that's night, yeah, yeah. So it sounds like you guys have been on just such a journey and it led you to. I mean, now you're doing what you call sexy in the middle and that's really geared towards women who are 40 and over, right?
Speaker 1:Yes, I do say 35 to 55. That's like my middle, right Up in the mid-life. Because as I dove in deep into these hormone courses, I found out something. The first thing I found out was like, starting at age 35-ish probably right around 35, the sex hormone, progesterone, begins to decline and that has a massive impact on our usually our mental health. First, oh, wow, I pinpointed times when we lived back in the country, back in Levittsville, that I would have panic attacks and I just didn't even know what it was about, right, heart palpitations, panic attacks, and I thought it's because my husband's at work all night. I'm home alone with this baby who doesn't sleep without being on the boob. That was my firstborn. Two and a half years he did not sleep. He didn't sleep for two and a half years.
Speaker 2:I love your episodes.
Speaker 1:I love your episodes with the sleep experts and I'm like where were they in 2009? I know I know Gosh, nobody was on.
Speaker 2:Facebook. I know, I know Right.
Speaker 1:So, yes, two and a half years. So you know I thought the panic attacks. Obviously they were also related to postpartum issues and hormones. But the decline of progesterone happens as early as age 35 for most women and although it's a slower decline, and then you hit your forties and it ramps up Right. It was very eyeopening to look back on. I had been postpartum and then I was perimenopausal before anybody was talking about perimenopause and then I had a baby at 39.
Speaker 1:So then, I was perimenopausal postpartum and then I got what is something that happens when you're nursing?
Speaker 2:Mastitis.
Speaker 1:Thank you I got that, and on the same day with and this is a made for mothers podcast, so I believe I can speak about this On the same day I got my period, so I was like premenstrual, perimenopausal mastitis postpartum, 40 years old and getting your period back after your baby like your first period, your first cycle after having your second baby.
Speaker 1:My first baby I didn't have a period for three years, which was normal, because I breastfed an unusually fine. I'm a hippie holistic health counselor. I'm a hippie nutritionist so I nursed him. It worked great. Does that work for everybody? Absolutely not. Is it fine? Of course it is. But for the second child I didn't nurse him as long but I was still nursing and I got this mastitis which I hadn't had the first time. I was completely stressed out. You know the two kids running the business, the husband running the business and I had all those things.
Speaker 2:Husband, gone, all the things, and your age which had all these hormonal changes. Oh, my goodness.
Speaker 1:So many hormonal changes. Oh my goodness, so many hormonal changes. I already had a good amount of knowledge of, you know, fitness, nutrition, the human body, the female body.
Speaker 2:but not as deep as I have now and just looking back and your lived experience and now you're reading something in a book or studying something, and then your actual body, going through it and feeling it I mean those are two very different things. I mean I could say the same thing about before having a baby. If any of my friends got pregnant, I would have been like, oh my gosh, that's so great. And now, if any of them are pregnant, I'm like, okay, what do you need? I'm here for you.
Speaker 2:But it's, having that lived experience is so different and I think something you and I were talking about is I feel like there is just so much more conversation and dialogue about hormones and about with the changes within motherhood and being, you know, perimenopausal and I I just feel like we're having so much more understanding of our hormones from such an earlier age versus everything we have been told in. Like previous generations was just around like menopause, right. Like, yeah, okay, menopause just happens when you're older and you get hot flashes and that's what it is. So that's, that is hormone changes. Or you're hitting puberty and you're going to start your period right, that's hormones. Or maybe you're 17 and you're getting acne. Mean, the female body is such like a wild wild west of hormone changes every day and all day, and different.
Speaker 1:We are cyclical beings. Yes, we are extra so.
Speaker 2:I love this whole thing about you know, talking about you know around 35, where I feel like that's probably a very average age listener. You know kind of. I'm 38, you know I mean this is I have hormonal, hormonal changes. I mean I'm two years postpartum, so they say it takes like a full two years. I'm sure what's going to happen is I'm going to feel finally normal again, ish, and then I'm going to get pregnant, but it's going to be you know one of those humorous things.
Speaker 2:But what does that look like for you when you are working with someone who's, let's just say, you know around 40 or you know in their late 30s and what are some symptoms that they're coming to you and they're feeling and what are you like?
Speaker 2:You know, because maybe you can help identify in someone who's listening fatigue, or if they're getting, if they're having, anxiety, or if they're feeling depressed, or if they're feeling and it's not you know they're having, you know, severe fatigue, or not necessarily like weight gain, but more like constantly feeling bloated, right, like things, things that maybe we're all just sort of living with because we're just too busy to manage, right, because, hey, most people listening are moms and they're ambitious and they have, you know, they have businesses, and so moms, we don't put ourselves first on the list basically ever. So my guess is is that a lot of mothers are just walking around thinking like you know what my normal is, just to feel at like 50% or at 60%, and so what are some of those symptoms? I know I just named off a few, but what are some of those symptoms that people come to you with feeling?
Speaker 1:Yeah, so definitely around that 35 to 40 age and stage. Is that fatigue or that burnout right? They wake up.
Speaker 2:Yeah, we do call it burnout yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so they wake up, like they wake up after a full night's sleep and they don't feel rested. And then when they maybe when they lay down to go to bed they're wired and tired, right. And that's a big indicator of cortisol imbalance. Right, cortisol is a big buzzword, right, we all hear about cortisol. Cortisol, belly Right, it causes belly fat. Well, cortisol is actually big buzzword. Right, we all hear about cortisol. Cortisol, belly right, it causes belly fat.
Speaker 1:Well, cortisol is actually a good thing we need it, we need it to do all the things and to survive, and to survive right. Yeah, it is a necessary hormone that should come in big and strong when you wake up in the morning, within like everybody's different 15 to 30 minutes. It should kick in and you should feel energetic. Everybody's different 15 to 30 minutes. It should kick in and you should feel energetic.
Speaker 1:And I can't say that I ever felt that way for like 10 years, like I don't remember feeling that way when my kids were younger and now I'm 48, perimenopausal and I wake up and within 10 minutes I'm ready to take on the world. So in my thirties I remember waking up and I would say I'm tired. I'm already tired, right, but you're in kind of robot mode, you're in survival mode.
Speaker 2:You're in survival mode.
Speaker 1:Yes, that is definitely a word I've used. You're in survival mode. You're getting the kids fed, You're getting the kids out the door. Or, if you have the younger kids, you know you're perhaps you're home taking care of the children and you're already exhausted, so you're reaching for coffee, you're reaching for caffeine, you're reaching for things.
Speaker 2:As I'm sipping on my coffee. Yeah.
Speaker 1:And not that it's a bad thing. That's a whole nuanced conversation around caffeine, but it is not doing great things for our adrenals in our 30s if we're pounding coffee just to survive. Other symptoms would be brain fog. Other symptoms can be anxiety and depression, and that can be the decline of the sex hormones and or mixed with a postpartum you know cocktail of fun things that's happening inside your body. Right, right, right, and I do love that all of these things are being talked about so much more, so much more.
Speaker 2:I mean just the access of social media and just, you know, there's so many nutritionists and so many hormone experts and so many gynecologists and so many women's health experts out there talking about, you know, functional medicine doctors. I follow so many functional medicine people talking about, hey, if you feel like a thousand pounds getting out of bed or if you can't go to sleep, or something I learned recently was around if you wake up in the middle of the night and having sugar spikes in the middle of the night and thinking that maybe you're waking up in the middle of night because you've had a newborn, right. So I think there's a misunderstanding of if you're waking up at two or three o'clock in the morning every night because you're kind of just wired to wake up because your baby was waking up, right, or you're sleeping so light. But if you have to wake up and you have to go to the bathroom at three o'clock in the morning, it could be like a sugar spike. I just went down this like total rabbit hole and then someone was like you should eat a hard boiled egg or protein or something before you go to bed to help out.
Speaker 2:Anyways, just these very simple and obviously you're. You know you're the expert and you're like, listen, girl, it's not going to be solved with a hard-boiled egg before dinner, but I mean before bed. But so basically, just thinking through having so much more access to this like functional, functional approach versus this, oh, menopause is way down the road where it's kind of we're all in it, we're all in some sort of scope of early, you know, perimenopause and the hormone piece versus the new motherhood piece is so confusing to identify which is what is actual physical fatigue, burnout in your, you know, adrenals, cortisol, all of that versus what is just, you know, postpartum normal.
Speaker 1:Like I guess You're a new mother.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, and I love that. They do say you know the postpartum period is for forever, right, like you're always postpartum and it is most impactful on your body the first two years, versus thinking, oh yeah, I just need like the fourth trimester is just an extra. Anyways, there's just so much conflicting information out there with the influx of having information, so it's so great to be able to have conversations that just help us all like make more sense of it. So I love that you're just describing, you know, general symptoms that most women are feeling, and there shouldn't be shame around feeling tired.
Speaker 1:Right. So I want women to know, like when they're feeling these symptoms, that although they are common, they are not normal. And again I like to say that, although they are common, they are not normal. Feeling tired all the time is not normal. And again I like to say that, although they are common, they are not normal. Feeling tired all the time is not normal. It's okay. And especially if you have a newborn yes, okay, that is going to be normal.
Speaker 1:But after the newborn stage, when you hopefully at some point for me, each child was different. One child didn't sleep for two and a half years, but the second child, by 10, 11 months, we were sleeping then we need to start to get mom to help balance and regulate her own hormones so that when you wake up in the morning, you are not feeling tired, because you should not feel tired. When you wake up in the morning and I'm going to say 80, 90%, we'll say 80, 80% of the time you should be getting a decent night's sleep and then you should feel energy in the morning. And I think it's really become too common that women are just tired, right, I'm just tired oh, that's normal, just run down.
Speaker 2:Yeah, just burned out.
Speaker 1:I'm bloated all the time, I'm weepy for no reason, I'm um, yeah, and I love that everything is becoming more normalized Like we talk about it. I have two boys. They are nine and 15, and they could tell you more about perimenopause than any time. Oh, I love that we're normalizing the conversations around women, women's bodies, women's parts, women's periods right, and now I hope that the women I'm teaching about perimenopause, I'm also teaching about their menstrual cycle, you know, and women who just had babies should also know about the menstrual cycle.
Speaker 2:How crazy is it that, like your average person is like 35 to 45 and they're just learning about their period for the first time? Like what is wrong with our world right? Like what is wrong with our society? What is wrong with women's health? Why are we not being taught this at such an early age? I don't understand. It blows my mind Like it blows my mind that, like a 45 year old would be understanding their like luteal phase at the first time for the first time.
Speaker 1:I gave a lecture recently at a gym to women over 35, a 20 something year old, I think she was like 23. She came, she's like, well, I just want to know. And I said you're brilliant, you are. So I wish. I wish at 23, I knew what I was going to go through in my thirties and what I needed in my thirties and now what I needed in my forties, you know to know that at 23,. You know, although we need to learn through lessons as well, but I was. I was so grateful she was there, but the biggest eye-opener.
Speaker 1:I finished the lecture and during the lecture I do the menstrual cycle right. I do a whole big, I get a whiteboard and I do the menstrual cycle and I teach everyone about estrogen and progesterone and testosterone and luteinizing hormone, all these hormones right. And I do this little kind of a basic chart. I don't make it super scientific, I just want a basic understanding of the menstrual cycle for these women over 40 who are at the end of their years of menstruating, but things they need to know. And then I talk about perimenopause and I take a marker and I scratch it all over because that's what happens during perimenopause and at the end of the lecture that's perimenopause, like yeah, estradiol's in, estradiol's out.
Speaker 1:You know, like it's a gong show. It's reverse puberty, by the way. So get ready.
Speaker 2:Oh, interesting Cool.
Speaker 1:But it doesn't have to be. It's not a death sentence, it's actually. It can be one of the greatest times of your life and that's part of women thrive and enjoy this age and stage. But my point about this lecture is we're walking out. Ladies are thanking me. What great information. I could hear you talk all day. I was like great because I'm just up there talking away. I love this stuff. I can talk about hormones all day long. My poor husband going to bed at night is like can we please stop talking about perimenopause?
Speaker 1:That's so funny, that's hilarious, this woman comes up to me and she's walking me to my car and she's an ob-gyn and she was thanking me about all the things I taught her in this. Stop it. No, I was like thank goodness, I didn't know you were there, oh why not?
Speaker 2:right, because you would have been so nervous so incredible.
Speaker 1:I'm not a doctor, yeah, and so I, but isn't that like hello, like exactly what I was just saying.
Speaker 2:Why, why is the OBG? Uh yeah, Yep so.
Speaker 1:OBGYNs are trained for certain things and others, and it is such a disservice. Our medical system is broken. I think we all know that. Now, looking around at the average American, we know our medical system is broken. The thing is, doctors don't get into medicine, you know, for you know bad reasons. They want to help people For sure.
Speaker 2:It's the system that's not teaching them. So I don't blame doctors. I mean I go and pay out of pocket. You know I pay hundreds and hundreds of dollars out of pocket to go see a functional holistic women's health provider who does not take, who does not take insurance?
Speaker 2:as do I, and I'm just sort of like this is so crazy that, like I want to go see a gynecologist who doesn't take insurance. Yeah, because I I don't have any faith in going to well, especially after my birth. If anyone's ever listened to my birth like taught me, talk, dance around my birth story I have even more little faith in ob-gyns.
Speaker 2:And that's a broad stroke and people can hate me saying that, whatever, that's fine. And if anyone's local and you have a great gynecologist who takes insurance and they're on a little bit more in the like slowed down, holistic, you know, functional medicine side, please send me down because I would like to not pay out of pocket, but it's like.
Speaker 1:Unfortunately they can't. Their hands are tied. They are given seven minutes. Is it seven? I don't even know if it's seven.
Speaker 2:They're only given a few minutes I think it's like you get 15 minutes in the room and like half of it is with you. Know the nurse, right, who's in there first, and then it's like it's not versus where I go. You get 90 minutes in labs and of course we have to do labs out of pocket and we have to do labs at a different place and all of this, all of this, it's a mess, not to mention that I have to like chase down. Finding a therapist who takes insurance Like this is just so wild, and I did find one. I have a great local therapist who takes insurance, if anyone wants that information.
Speaker 1:But it's just so crazy.
Speaker 2:Yes, it's just so crazy to think how what access looks like versus you know. Think about it. It's. How funny is this Stacey? It's like we live in this time where there's so much access to information online but hardly any access in the real world, like in in the day to day. If I were to get in my car and want to go see someone in person in the day-to-day, if I were to get in my car and want to go see someone in person, yet I can find a thousand holistic experts in this area on social media that could pour into, you know, my health. It's just it's it's just crazy. It's just crazy. But I love this. I love that there was this OBGYN in your talk. I mean, that's amazing.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah. And she thanked me and I was like what, what did I just teach you that that you didn't learn? But I knew this going in. You know, when I took the courses that I did, you know, one of the first things the instructors would say is your doctors weren't taught this. And it's sad, but I'm here to say that. You know, there is so much information now online, there are so many experts. Yes, you can't trust them all. Right, you need to use.
Speaker 2:You need to use your gut. You need to you know what is your research and have a discernment and understand what credentials are and the difference of all the little acronym letters behind someone's name, and know what they mean. Yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, or even just the, the, the studies behind it right, and the problem is so many studies weren't aren't done on women at all which is insane, but now more and more are happening, and one of the biggest women's studies out there, the Women's Health Initiative, which is all about hormone replacement therapy. The data was skewed and scared women away from hormones. Right, our mothers and our grandmothers were scared away from taking hormones for so many years because it was told- During menopause, when it potentially is needed.
Speaker 2:Don't take it. It'll give you breast cancer.
Speaker 1:The data was reported incorrectly.
Speaker 2:While we're like pumping birth control into 15 and 16 year olds for acne and 50 year olds for menopause and in Europe they do so many extensive studies around the connection to breast cancer and reproductive cancers in birth control. And I'm not here okay again, I'm not an expert but I did get a degree in public health and I did do a research project on this when I was 20. So I have some information in my brain. But it was like, oh yeah, when I was 20. So I have some information in my brain but it was like, oh yeah, we don't do these research. We never did this long-term study on breast cancer and birth control because the birth control companies are lobbying against it. I mean, it's just so crazy.
Speaker 1:Anyways, women are done a disservice, yes, by the lack of education and information that is given to and by their doctors. So, and my goal, you know, starting sexy in the middle was to empower the woman in the middle to learn more about her own health and to start paying attention.
Speaker 1:That is my biggest homework when I do any of my programs. So I run these online programs. I have free and paid online programs and my homework is to pay attention. And women are like okay, whatever, what do you want me to do? And I'm like no, no that's your homework. I want you to pay attention. Okay, wait, what do you want me to eat?
Speaker 2:And I'm like no no, just tell me to eat a hard-boiled egg before I go to bed.
Speaker 1:Exactly. They want these actions. But I'm teaching women to pay attention. How do you feel when you open your eyes in the morning? How do you feel 10 minutes later, in 30 minutes to an hour upon waking? How are you feeling? And paying attention to hunger cues, paying attention to energy, paying attention to their sex drive, right? So we talk about postpartum, we talk about perimenopause. Sex drive is a big part of what symptoms can happen, in addition to fatigue, anxiety, depression. Women are like I love my husband, he's gorgeous, I'm attracted to him, we're best friends. I have no sex drive, right? That's not what it is to be middle-aged, right? I remember being young and hearing about the cougars and the women in their prime.
Speaker 2:Well, now here I am, in my 40s.
Speaker 1:Peak sex drive. Here I am in my 40s and I'm surrounded by women who are like oh yeah, no, like, not interested.
Speaker 2:Oh sad.
Speaker 1:That's? Yeah, that's not normal. There was, I don't remember which one of my instructors always talked about you wanna be hydrated, horny and hungry. That's how you know you're healthy the three H's. The three H's you want to be hydrated, you want to feel horny and you want to be hungry. If you are not any of those things, there's probably some hormone imbalance. And I was like that's pretty brilliant. And a lot of the protocols that I go through in my programs are helping women to get hydrated. Right, they're just they're not drinking enough water. Or, again, they're not paying attention, their sex hormones are declining and they don't know what to do about it. And so, again, they're just like well it's, you know, it is what it is, it's fine, I have no sex drive. Well, actually that is an indicator of hormone imbalance, right? And then some women with the hunger issues right, some of us are eating when we're not hungry, but some women, especially busy entrepreneurs, will just go and go and go and feel like coffee is all they need.
Speaker 2:I mean, that's me. I'm always saying I'm like I'm never hungry. I'm never hungry. I just it's so weird. I also went through like I don't know if are you familiar with, like Ayurvedic practices, yeah, so I have lemon water.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, so I've also. I'm a kapha, but I've also learned that I have low fire in my belly, like I have low, so I am. I do have like a natural state of like less hunger cues, like I just have always sort of been that way. But you know, I'm like wait, have I always sort of been that way? Or have I been in adrenal fatigue for like 25 years?
Speaker 1:Yes, yeah, adrenal dysfunction is real. Right, it's real.
Speaker 2:So I love. I love what you're saying, though, about like okay, these like protocols. So I feel like a great way to sort of like tie a bow on this conversation and wrap this conversation up would be what are you know without knowing? You know, particularly a mom, their sort of individual circumstances and their individual health. What would be some just sort of basic best practices that you could share, like if you were to say, okay, moms, if you could just do these five things, you know, what would those be? That would be contributing to over large strokes, sort of hormone balancing in their bodies.
Speaker 1:Great question, and this is exactly what I built my free five day hormone reset on Right.
Speaker 2:Great, we'll link that.
Speaker 1:We'll link that. I run it live three times a year. We can get more information on that. Share that, yeah it is because I want to help thousands or millions of women, but I can't work one-on-one with thousands of women and have a family and a marriage.
Speaker 1:So I do have the basic protocol because there are things you can be doing yourself to help your hormones before having to go to see a practitioner, and some of the things can be resolved without even seeing a practitioner. So the first and foremost and if you have a newborn you're just gonna have to close your ears but the first and foremost thing, you cannot heal your hormones without sleep. You can do the perfect macros and diet and water and exercise, but if you are not sleeping you are not recovering. If you are not sleeping you are not balancing your hormones. You're not letting your leptin and your ghrelin and your insulin and your glucose all of it regulate overnight right and all of those hormones which are involved in appetite and hunger and satiety and metabolism. They're also tied to our sex hormones. So there is no hormone imbalance that can be cured without good sleep.
Speaker 1:And then there's so many women who are like okay, but I can't sleep. Well, then we need to talk about the nuances. But my general protocol on the five-day reset is first, focus on sleep. So I tell women to start waking up early, because if you wake up early and early is Relative, relative, thank you. Early is relative, so based on your lifestyle, early might be six, early might be eight, early might be five.
Speaker 1:So, waking up early will help you to fall asleep that night, because you'll be more tired if you start waking up a little earlier. So sleep is the first protocol. The second is we talk about fasting, because our blood glucose and our insulin regulation will tie into your sleep. Like you were saying, if you're waking up at three in the morning, you should have a hard-boiled egg before bed. A little more nuanced than that my protocol, and there's varying theories on this, but every individual is an N of one. You have to do your experiment on yourself, but most women are just not eating enough protein in general.
Speaker 1:So if you get enough protein at dinner, that will help you sleep better. Or too many processed carbs, too many carby drinks right at dinner, like maybe there's wine. So we should talk about you know in a little more detail, figure out your dinner. But fasting can help people sleep better. And I'm not talking about two day, three day fast, no, no, no. We're busy women, we're moms. I'm not talking about water fast and all of that. I'm just talking about overnight fast. So sleep 12 hour fast. That's all I'm talking about.
Speaker 1:And that includes your sleep 12 hour fast, drinking enough water in the waking hours hours, not right before you go to bed, because, ladies, we've had babies. You don't want to be up peeing in the night. It's different after you have your, at least for me. It was different after my second child. I'm like why am I waking up to pee in the night, right? Uh, so having your water in between your meals, not right before bed, having a nice fresh glass of water upon waking? If you look into the Ayurvedic techniques, lemon water upon waking is super good for your gut. Hydration. Sleep fasting, water movement, right? I think before we hit record, we were talking about just all the sitting that we do.
Speaker 2:Yeah, we're talking about walking.
Speaker 1:The walking, simple movement. Ladies, just start with what is simple for you. I know women on both ends of the spectrum. They're sitting all day and then they're sitting all night and there's just not a lot of movement. And then there's the women who are lifting or doing HIIT workouts or Orange Theory or Burn Boot Camp or CrossFit or all those things, but then they're also just sitting all day as well. Right, there's a happy medium.
Speaker 1:And getting out in the sunshine, getting out in the fresh air, even on cloudy days, going for walks couldn't be more helpful to all of the hormones. In the reset we talk about setting your circadian rhythm to help with sleep, and one of the biggest things is getting morning sunlight in your eyes. So getting outside within that first, you know it's the angle of the sun, it's the solar angle that actually helps us. So somewhere in this area it's probably somewhere between sunrise and about 9.30 am If you can just get outside for 10 minutes get some sunlight in your eyes. No sunglasses, ladies, and I'm not talking about staring at the sun, I'm just talking about being outside and getting that. It's blue light from the sun into your eyes, very different than just staring at your phone first thing in the morning. That's not what I'm talking about. Get outside in the sun. That actually speaks to your hormones through a receptor in your retina. Crazy.
Speaker 1:So it helps set your circadian rhythm. So when you get that sunlight in those early morning hours around sunset, guess what? We start to feel Tired, tired.
Speaker 1:Guess what we should feel, when the sun goes down, tired, not tired and wired. So it actually has an inverse relationship with cortisol. So we've got our melatonin down here. When we wake up in a balanced woman, we have our balanced person Melatonin down here, cortisol up here. When you wake up in a balanced woman, we have our balanced person Melatonin down here, cortisol up here. When you wake up right, and then as the day goes, your cortisol is supposed to just naturally decline and then you feel sleepy, your melatonin is supposed to slowly come up and then you feel sleepy in the night. So when we get that sunlight in our eyes in the morning, we will help to set our circadian rhythm, to tell our hormones to do what they need to do in order for us to feel calm and sleepy and to get a good night's sleep. So we talk about movement in the reset and we talk about sunlight in the eyes, and I said, you know, for these busy moms, 10 minutes, 10 minutes walk outside before 9.30 AM.
Speaker 1:You're helping your sleep, You're helping your hormones right and you're getting into a habit that you could build on. 10 minutes is a great start and it's somewhere to build. And if you stick with that 10 minutes for a year because that's all you got, then it's a great start.
Speaker 1:Oh, I love this, Stacey, it's easy kind of yeah, it is Simple, simple, accessible, not easy, simple, simple, simple, accessible, easy, simple, simple, not easy. That's one of the taglines. All right, and the final piece. There's two pieces. There's greens, so we talk about slipping the greens in. Why are greens so important? The phytonutrients, yes, but also at this age and stage we often have, you know, starting 35 and beyond, we often have excess estrogen, right, everyone thinks, oh, but menopause, our estrogen goes away. Not really, and oftentimes because of environmental toxins. Sadly, plastics, things that are in our products, things that are in our food, things that are in mold, that can actually increase the estrogens in our body, but not in a good way, the estrogens we don't want. We need detoxifying things to rid our body of the excess hormones.
Speaker 1:And greens are a great source of detoxifying the body, so I'm a big promoter of greens. Everyone's like. Well, which ones? Well, the cruciferous vegetables are great for women. Most of us need to eat them cooked. There are some that we can eat raw, like arugula, but broccoli, cauliflower, brussels sprouts, things like that those are better cooked for most people's gut and digestion.
Speaker 1:So greens are a great thing to just add Most women. I'm like how many meals do you eat a day that have greens in them? And they all just hide. So I teach women to add greens. I do arugula with my eggs If I don't have time for greens. I actually have supplements that are so easy and I share them on my website. Easy ways for people who are like I'm not going to eat a salad in the winter, that's me. I'm freezing, I don't want to eat a salad in the winter, you know. So I have supplements and I teach women how to get their greens in their diet. And then the final thing is connection. So when our hormones change, we do feel very withdrawn, we do feel very alone and then we don't nurture those connections and I love the Made for Mothers community is pulling women out after this pandemic which separated all of us and bringing them together.
Speaker 1:And I read the comments of what they feel after they attend an event and I'm like, yes, you are a human being and human beings are meant to commune. We are meant to come together and so support accountability, coming together, community that is the final piece of the hormone balance.
Speaker 2:Oh, I love that.
Speaker 1:Because type A entrepreneur ladies you cannot do it alone. You can, but you're going to be miserable and burn yourself out.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you're going to be so burned out and so lonely. It's so lonely, it's like such an island. Yeah, you don't need to be on it.
Speaker 1:It is, and I love running my business, and I love running my business alone. But I also don't right. I love it Right, right right. I find myself connecting with my VA. She's like 24 and lives in the UK, but I love our conversations because I connect with someone in and around my business. I love connecting with you today and I will be at one of the made for mothers events in April.
Speaker 1:And I have another trainer at my studio. I have an esthetician at my studio, you know. So I do have connection and and my clients have been with me from day one, uh, from the one-year-old at the tiny little studio. Now I'm in 900 square feet Like they've. They've been with me the whole way, so they are part of my community as well. Humans need community and to balance your hormones you need sleep, you need uh to fast for 12 hours and there's nuance, so please don't take that as a black and white statement you need water, you need movement, you need sunlight, you need greens and you need connection.
Speaker 2:So great, stacey. Well, thank you so much for just sharing all your wisdom and having this conversation. I feel like we've covered so many things having this conversation. I feel like we've covered so many things, but I hope I just my goal is that you know this podcast, this platform, could just be a place for, you know, moms who are experiencing so many multifaceted parts of life to take something. You know you might take something away one week about branding and websites and, and you know, messaging, and the next week you might take away something about your hormones, because that's just what this life is as like a busy, ambitious mom who's running a business and raising babies and doing all the things it's like. Wherever you go, that's where we are and we're in. We are. Our biggest asset to ourselves is taking care of ourselves, so yes, you must take care of the business.
Speaker 1:yes, you must take care of the business owner. You must take care of the business owner.
Speaker 2:Founder first. That's why I always say, like the tagline I made for mothers is like mother first, business owner second. But what is? Where can people find you? Where can they follow you? All that good stuff, I'll link it all in the show notes, but where can they find you?
Speaker 1:So my website for women is the wwwsexyinthemiddlecom, and that was meant to talk about in the middle of your life in the middle of everything we're in the middle of, in the middle of your body, because that's the part that changes through motherhood and even, you know, without motherhood, through menopause. So sexyinthemiddlecom has all the links you can find, and at the bottom is another link to my intuitive fitness page. That is my brick and mortar fitness studio on Instagram sexy in the middle. Facebook sexy in the middle all of it. Sexy in the middle.
Speaker 2:Yep, that's great, my shirt I I see that Confidence is the new sexy I love it. Well, thank you, Stacey, so much for being here today and sharing your story and yeah, we'll tag everything. We'll tag it all and again, give her a follow, give her a shout If this was helpful for you to listen to. Send Stacey a DM and let her know that you found her through this podcast and can't wait to see you at an event.
Speaker 1:Yes, thank you, mariah. This was wonderful. I look forward to connecting to the moms in your community thank you all right.
Speaker 2:Well, thanks for tuning in to another episode of the made for mothers podcast. We will talk to you soon. Yay, you just finished another episode of the made for mothers podcast. As always, you can find more details about today's show in the show notes and be sure to give us a review. Subscribe so you don't miss a chance to grow your biz from fellow moms. Are you wanting more one-on-one support or are you looking to learn how to market your business in a way so you can spend more time with your family and less time stressing about what to do next time with your family and less time stressing about what to do next? Then follow along on Instagram at Mariah Stockman, or book a one-on-one biz therapy session with yours truly, and let's find that work-mama-hood harmony we all deserve. Until next time, this is your host, mariah Stockman, and thank you so much for tuning in.