Made for Mothers: A Podcast For Moms in Business
Welcome to the Made for Mothers Podcast, your go-to source for candid and relatable conversations about motherhood and entrepreneurship. Think of this show as your new mom friend, where we dive into all things marketing, branding, mindset, money, childcare, and growing your business while you navigate your roles as both CEO and Mom.
I'm your host, Mariah Stockman, and I wear all the hats, from being a boy mom to serving as a marketing mentor for mothers and running a 6-figure marketing agency. On top of all that, I'm the proud founder of the Made for Mothers Community.
This show is all about sharing real stories and practical strategies from fellow mother-run business owners. We’re diving into that pivotal moment in motherhood when we went back to work as a new mom and said, "Ooooh, it's like this now." but here's the catch, we're all there, all the time, no matter what season of motherhood we're in. Facing unexpected challenges like when our kids get sick or the childcare cancels, and moms are PROS at turning 'uh-oh' moments into 'ah-ha' solutions and THAT’s what we’re going to shine a light on.
So, what’s my story? Why Made for Mothers?
When I became a mom, I discovered firsthand the lack of support for the "I-have-a-new-baby-and need-to-answer-a-million-emails-and-have-no-childcare-and- work-i- still-really-love” situation. I soon realized how resourceful motherhood had made me and this path of serving moms naturally unfolded for me, and i am just so so glad you're here!
When I leapt to pivot into mentoring moms I had no idea what it would look like, I had no idea if it would work, but I just knew that this "season" I'm in, the one where my babies come first might be here to stay. I wanted to surround myself with women who are living the beautiful chaos of balancing motherhood and business, who understand that where early nap wake-ups, teething disruptions, and sleepless nights are part of the package... and on top of that, we're passionate and driven and bold and believe that yes, we can do both. If you just said a resounding "YES" tune in, cause you belong here and these are the stories we share.
The Made for Mothers Podcast is your space to connect with the real stories, strategies, and insights that bridge the gap between being a mom and a founder. So, grab your headphones, reheat your coffee, and let's go!
Connect with me on Instagram @mariahstockman
Learn more about working with me by visiting my website at www.mariahstockman.com
Made for Mothers: A Podcast For Moms in Business
28. Labor and Delivery Nurse Turned CEO w/ Baby Settler Founder, Hillary Sadler
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Hillary Sadler, founder of Baby Settler, is someone who is making big, BOLD moves for moms and their families in the perinatal and postpartum space!
Hilary, a former labor and delivery nurse, feeding specialist, author, and mother of four, is your go-to non-judgmental friend for navigating the challenges of motherhood. Grounded in medical expertise yet embracing a 'crunchy' approach, she's unafraid to challenge norms and ask the tough questions. Recognizing a gap in traditional roles, she founded Baby Settler, a company dedicated to providing personalized support and resources for moms and babies.
Our conversation today revolves around the daunting task new moms face in sorting through conflicting advice. Hilary recognized the need for a reliable, centralized source of parenting guidance and developed an innovative app to address this. Covering topics from feeding tips to sleep regressions, her app aims to empower parents with knowledge and support.
We'll also explore burnout, business growth, and the importance of crystal-clear branding. Both Hilary and I have learned valuable lessons through motherhood and entrepreneurship, and we're eager to share insights that will empower you to advocate for yourself and make informed decisions for your family.
Tune in for an episode packed with inspiration and practical advice for navigating the beautiful yet challenging journey of motherhood!
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Building a StoryBrand book by Donald Miller
Connect with Hillary on Instagram @babysettler
Learn more about working with Hillary by visiting her website
Connect with me on Instagram
Learn more about booking a Biz Therapy session and working together by visiting my website
Ways to Connect Outside the Podcast
- Follow CEO & Founder on Instagram: @mariahstockman
- Follow Made for Mothers on Instagram:@madeformothers.co
- Join the Virtual Village: A community and monthly membership for business owning mamas! Special promo for our podcast listeners, get 20% off your first quarterly enrollment with code TWENTYOFF at https://www.madeformothersco.com/membership
- SHOP CEO MAMA MERCH designed just for business-owning mamas https://shopmadeformothers.com/
Motherhood, Entrepreneurship, and Nursing Journeys
Speaker 1Hello and welcome to the Made for Mothers podcast , your one-stop shop for candid and relatable conversations about motherhood and entrepreneurship . Think of this show as your new mom friend , where we dive into all things marketing , branding , mindset , money , childcare and growing your business while we all navigate our roles as both CEO and mom . I'm your host , mariah Stockman , and I wear a bunch of hats . I'm a boy mama , I'm serving as a marketing mentor for mothers , I'm running a six-figure marketing agency and , on top of that , I'm the proud founder of the Made for Mothers community . This show is about sharing the real stories and the practical strategies from fellow mother-run businesses . So dive in , grab your headphones , reheat that coffee and let's go .
Speaker 1Hello , hello , hello and welcome to another episode of the Made for Mothers podcast . I am your host , mariah Stockman . Boy mama , marketing and business mentor , tooms in Business and the proud founder of the Made for Mothers community , which is growing and growing and growing . I am so excited to have in front of me right now Hilary , who is the founder of Baby Settler . She is a former labor and delivery nurse . She has so many acronyms behind her name R-N-M-S-N-I-B-C-L-C . Did I get that right ? Yes , you did . Yep , but she's also a mom of four and she is running a pretty impressive company , so I am just so excited to dive in , hilary . Welcome . So much to the podcast .
Speaker 2Thank you , I'm excited to be here . Yes .
Speaker 1So , okay , I found you through Claire O'Brien , which I'm just going to get that out of the way . We both have a shared love of Claire . Hi , claire , and I listened to your episode on her podcast called Double Co , which I love , and I fell in love with your story . And I'm going to tell you why I fell in love with your story and I'm going to have you dive into it . But you spoke like directly to me , which I'm sure so many moms feel . You shared your story of your own journey of having your babies and nursing and breastfeeding and all of that .
Speaker 1And then you shared the story of your fourth child and around introducing formula and triple feeding and I was like , oh my gosh , I have to talk to Hillary , like Hillary has to be on my yes , you have this big , huge business that I can't wait to dive into and talk about , like you as a mom growing this company . But I am so excited to dive into this little important niche moment in my life where I felt so victimized by breastfeeding and the systems that set me up in a way that failed us , and I'm just so impressed by what you've built to help moms like me who have been through not the best breastfeeding experiences , and that you created something in the world that will help moms like me with our second or third baby , and I feel like that's where , like the hope comes in , which is it can . It can be better next time , because there's people like you out in the world doing what you're doing . So , with that said hello , please just like welcome yourself and tell us a little bit about yourself .
Speaker 2Yeah , so I well , you already said my background . I was labor and delivery nurse . Went well , let me back up . So I have four kids . My oldest is 12 and then I have eight and five little girl is number . She's five years old , she is number three and she is my only girl . And then my youngest is 21 months old . So mama four . When I had my first baby I was not a nurse . I actually went to Caldera , charleston and did their business school . I was going the business route . Crazy story , but I used to be a horseback rider . I was a professional horse trainer .
Speaker 2Wow , yeah , I did that for a couple years after , during college and after college , and then I had my first child and I was like you know , this is not really , this is not really the life for me . So went to nursing school when I , I guess my first child was yeah , he was like a year and a half old when I started nursing school and went to nursing school with the purpose of becoming a labor and delivery nurse . You know everyone said , oh , you'll never get into labor and delivery , you'll have to do med surge Like you won't ever go directly to labor and delivery nurse . Well , I did .
Speaker 1I got a job as a labor and delivery nurse . Meant to be .
Speaker 2Yes , it was meant to be , and love that Did that for five years .
Speaker 1Okay , but can we just talk about how labor and delivery nurses are like a separate form of like glitter , special , like ? I agree I are like a different breed of yeah , super magicalness I agree with you and I think that that is because we are .
Speaker 2It's a very autonomous role as a nurse . Um , especially like if you're in a teaching hospital , it's different because you will have like med students and residents and all this stuff . But when you're in like a private hospital at least my experience as a labor and delivery nurse is your nurse is your right hand man for labor and delivery . When you're a mom , your doctor comes like periodically or shows up for delivery , but your nurse is the one that's actually actively like with you . I mean , you know if you've had a baby , you know that you're a labor and delivery nurse .
Speaker 1We had a boy . We had a boy . I mean , I'm a boy , mom .
Speaker 2But like , yeah , if we , if we have another baby and if we have a girl I think her middle name- might be Dana , because that was your nurse .
Speaker 2She was like she was like super she was she ended up being my like doula basically I mean story but they most labor and delivery nurses absolutely love what they do and they take pride . I mean I used to . It's just I feel like too , when you're a mom , like you already can have kind of learned how to prioritize and manage stuff , but when you're a labor and delivery nurse , you need to be able to prioritize and manage multiple things at one time oh yeah because you're not just taking care of mom but you're also taking care of baby .
Speaker 2But , for example , you know , if you're in a hospital , you're on a fetal monitor and like we are watching your baby , I mean I didn't even go to the bathroom without checking . I feel like it kind of sets you up to parent you because it's , like you know , doesn't stop . Well , yeah , and like you know , for me , on the weekends I'm like hey , babe , I'm going to go on a walk , can you watch clay , which I shouldn't have to watch it and watch . I mean , he would watch clay , it's not ?
Speaker 1like you know what I mean ? You're just telling your partner where you're going .
Speaker 2Hey , because the truth is is that , as a mom , like we are actually the ones that are always watching them , like our husbands can walk outside and go do whatever they want to without checking in Even this morning .
Speaker 1Even this morning I was like , hey , babe , I'm going to run out to the car and it's like I don't know why . I don't know why I have to tell them that because he's in the kitchen like feeding Henry breakfast .
Speaker 2But it's just like mostly probably because I think Henry's going to , true , but bringing it back to like labor and delivery , I would say I got to have to go to the bathroom . Hey , hey , sarah , can you watch my patient for me ? Can you watch my fetal strips ?
Speaker 2So anyway , it was just yeah , labor and delivery nurses are amazing , for sure , and I absolutely loved that role . But and we can talk more about this later if we , if you want to go into details , but it just wasn't after having more kids and like the 12 hour shifts , it just wasn't really serving my family as well , and so .
Speaker 2I ended up . There was a position in the hospital for an inpatient lactation consultant and I was like , like I would like to do that , so that sort of I took that position and I did that for two years in the hospital before I actually left the hospital and started Baby Settler . But that is . I've always as a nurse . I have always worked with moms and babies and in that space it's always been my passion . It was the reason I went to nursing school .
Speaker 1I love that and also it says a lot about your experience having four babies . Like it feels . Like you're , I don't know . I feel like I had a really traumatic birth and we won't get into that . I'll get into that sometime at some point on someone else's podcast , but probably not mine , but I don't know . I was like I just remember after having my baby , I was like I don't ever want to have another baby again . And then , like within like 12 , but then , within like 12 hours , my OB walked in , I mean my midwife walked in , and I was like I wonder if my next baby will have like blue eyes or like brown hair Because it's so .
Speaker 2I mean so .
Speaker 1I just feel like I mean you've seen it all and then you actively went and had four babies still . Oh yeah , I mean I just can't imagine like I can't imagine that that shift of working in the hospital , having your own family , and then trying to navigate all of that , holding space for moms while you're trying to hold space for your family , and just all of it . This sounds complicated .
Speaker 2Yeah , it's complicated , especially during pregnancy , with each of my kids . My last baby , with Clay , I wasn't in the hospital setting , so it was actually a little bit easier to not , but it's hard , I mean it definitely . You have to have that disconnect because you , you know , you don't want to take anything away from the moms that are there , like you don't want to say , oh , you know it's , it's hard , it's , there's definitely some boundaries there . But yeah , I , it's funny because sometimes when you know too much , you like that's something for me that I had to actively work through with all of my deliveries was not thinking about like well , what if this happened , or what if ?
Speaker 1this happened .
Speaker 2All the things you've seen , yeah , all the things that I've seen and I would have loved to deliver in a birth center with a midwife . My OB was one of my good friends , so I love her and I trust her , but it's hard when you're in a hospital to really have , like I wanted unmedicated birth . For many reasons I didn't . With my first I did not have an unmedicated birth and it was totally fine , like he's healthy , the delivery was fine , but I had a really bad experience with the epidural , like super bad experience , and so for me that was like what pushed me into this unmedicated world .
Speaker 2And yeah yeah , and I , like you know , I did have an unmedicated birth with number two , three and four , but my last baby , clay , we had some complications and it turned into a high risk pregnancy , and so I was seeing maternal fetal medicine and they kept telling me how big he was .
Speaker 2It's like he's so big , he's so big , and so in my mind I'm like , great , I'm going to have a shoulder dystocia , like I'm going to have this big child . You know this big baby , and he was past his due date and so or like I'm going to have a C-section , or we , yeah , yeah , yeah . So , like for me , I had to really fight against that and I did actually have a shoulder stochel with him , so it's like oh my gosh , yeah which was , it was fine .
Speaker 1No , it's like you can laugh at it . I read this thing , that was like you can only laugh at things you've healed from . I was like this like this like therapy thing . And I was like oh yeah , you can laugh at things , cause you're like oh yeah , I did that fear , did so I was 37 , 30 , whatever , so I was already on this trajectory of like you're so old , you're so old , you know what I ? Mean , and I wasn't .
Speaker 1I didn't feel old I feel old now with a two-year-old and I was like , oh my gosh , I'm going to get this like unmedicated birth , cave super dreamy , Like my husband wasn't into the home birth yet , but like . So we compromised on the birth center .
Speaker 1I got risked out like all of it , like they were just like waiting to risk me out , like they couldn't wait . You know , cause that was , like you know , there's a little bit of that in my experience . There's a little bit of that , like you know , med wife situation going on like midwives in a hospital , but then I ended up having to be like induced and I feel like I did not need to be induced . And I will tell you this is a labor and delivery nurse and I feel like this is the funny part my husband told this very , very watered down story to his boss . Hey , how was the baby ? Oh , yeah , her birth was X amount of hours . Oh , that's so great , good for you guys . I'm going to tell you how long it was and let's see what your response is , because I feel like your response is going to be more correct . So , from zero to like ready to , to go two and a half hours , oh my god , yeah , it was horrible so you had a precipitous birth oh my god , it was horrible .
Speaker 1It was like I literally , and I can only laugh at it now because it was you don't know what you don't know . So any mom out there , any like boss right Would be like wow , so fast , that's so great In and out and I was like I was like , yeah , your body didn't have time to like catch up with what was going on .
Speaker 2That was .
Speaker 1And they kept the Pitocin in me till 3 am because they wouldn't let the Pitocin bag out of me until it was completely done . But there were so many things about it that were wrong and I found to be like pretty much like borderline abusive and I . But it's like , at the same time , like it's weird because like I did have an unmedicated , like I wanted an unmedicated birth , I got an unmedicated , not the way .
Speaker 2I wanted , no , your body . You didn't have time to adjust to that no-transcript .
Speaker 1No matter how horrific it was , I would do it all over again , like I would do it four times again . Like on the other side of it I had like a super healthy baby , and so it's like it did
Journey to Entrepreneurship Through Motherhood
Speaker 1work .
Speaker 2Yeah , yeah , oh gosh man , if you decide to have another baby , hopefully there will be a lot of conversations had before you get to the point Like you're feeling more assertive and just confident and knowledgeable that you can stand up for yourself .
Speaker 1Yeah , and I sure maybe a home birth ? We'll see . Yeah , we'll see about that . So okay , so you go from . Okay , so baby number one . Then you start having growing your family , you end up shifting gears to do lactation consulting in the hospital , um , and then what ? What happens between there and your fourth baby ? Because I know your fourth baby was a pretty important story for you .
Speaker 2Yeah , as far as like , what did work look like between that time , or yeah ? So I continued working in the hospital . So I worked in the hospital for I had . I was still working at the hospital for babies one , two and three , and then , after Ruth was born , who is my third child that was six years ago I realized that it was not going to work for me to continue being in the hospital because of those long 12-hour shifts . So , as a mom of three , we live 30 or 45 minutes from the hospital I worked at , and so I'd leave the house at 6 o'clock in the morning . I wouldn't get home until after 8 pm at night . I was working three days a week . It would take me a day or two to recover from working , of course .
Speaker 2And so I was not able to do school functions . I had to work holidays . Like I just realized that I loved what I was doing , but I did not love working for a hospital system . And I remember the point where I was in the hospital and I was looking out the window and I just had this thought I'm a prisoner , I'm literally a prisoner . They own me for 12 hours , I can't even make a phone call , and I worked in a good hospital . So I'm not saying that I was literally a prisoner . No , I get it .
Speaker 1That was my perspective .
Speaker 2It's like , yeah , they own me , like I sign up for my shifts and I also have to take call and as much as I love the patients that I work with and I love what I do , I am expected to be here and they I can't leave unless you know you . You , as a nurse , you get report on your patients and your light , your license , you're responsible for those patients during that shift . If something happened to one of my kids , I would have to give report to another nurse . There was a moment where I was like I can't do this anymore . I love being a nurse , but I cannot do it in this capacity anymore .
Speaker 2And that is when the idea of babysettler obviously that was not the name at that point , but it was like you know what I am seeing all of my friends in the hospital I grew up in this area I see them come in and have their babies I'm their nurse and then they go home and then they start texting me or they send me a message on Instagram , you know , and I haven't talked to them in a decade and I'm like happy , I'm so happy to be there for them , but there was just this huge gap that you know between pediatricians and OBGYN , that new moms like there was a huge gap in support for new moms and that was what I really wanted to fill was to kind of be that support person related to postpartum life and feeding and sleep and kind of everything that you know early momming essentially . So that's why Baby Cell Bear was born to be that .
Speaker 1I love that and I love this idea of you like standing in front of the window . On this , in my world and on this podcast , it comes up in every single episode where someone talks about like the nudge or the whisper or the tug or the pull , or like that moment . And we do talk about that pivotal moment , that moment , that transformational moment . I think that for moms , when they have their baby , that is the most transformational moment of your life . You are like a mother is born , the baby is born . You don't know yourself , like it's a whole new , everything is new , your whole life has changed .
Speaker 1And then there's this follow-up moment when a mom goes back to work or a mom is is working , and it's not always right away , it's not always like with the first baby , like in your case . It was like with your third . Right , there was just someone on talking about their second baby , how it happened . It's like there's this follow-up transformational moment where this happens , like this entrepreneurial seed is planted and now it's a story of like okay , so then you took a , you like leapt , you like took this leap like , which is so crazy and scary if you think about it like through the lens of like where you are now , like you're like I have three kids .
Speaker 2Yeah , if you want to talk about that for a second .
Speaker 1Sorry , I didn't mean to cut you off , but I want to back up really quick . I was thinking if you had the most like secure job too , yes , so let's talk about that for a second .
Speaker 2So I to back up a little bit . So I remember going back to work after my second child and because I wasn't a nurse with my first child and then , you know , I became a nurse and then my second child was born after I had been a nurse for like a year and I went back to work and I was sitting it was a night , I was on night shift at that point and I was sitting in a room pumping and I just remember sitting there and I was like what the hell am I doing here ? Like I I am here pump , I am 12 weeks postpartum and I'm sitting here pumping and I just want to be home with my baby .
Speaker 1Also wait , hold on . It's also like what time is it Like two o'clock in the morning ? Yeah , it's like two or three in the morning .
Speaker 2Why am I up at two or three in the morning at work . Exactly Because my baby was sleeping through the night but I needed to pump so that I could , I was gonna have to sleep tomorrow , Like because , so anyway .
Speaker 1I need to get my pump sessions . So many questions about like childcare and like nannies , yeah , yeah , like grandparents , I mean . I have so many questions about like systems that made that work , but we won't get into that I'm just the dominoes of it .
Speaker 2Yes , yes , so with that I did . I had learned something earlier in life . Related to that , though , is to not make any rash decisions in the first six months postpartum or upon returning to work . So , like for a mom that is working , like definitely feel your feelings and like , yeah , think about what you're thinking about . Like think about that , like if that's the thought that you're having , like really think about that , but look at it critically , because hormones are so sleep deprivation , hormones just being postpartum sometimes you might regret decisions that you've made , and the only reason I did not quit my job at that point was because I'd had an experience in my life earlier that I regretted that I a decision I made after my first was born , and I was like that was probably clouded by postpartum .
Speaker 1Like too rushed yeah Too rushed Like sit with it .
Speaker 2And I'm so glad that I did not quit my job after my first baby because I had only been a nurse for a year . So like I would not even be where I am today if I hadn't continued to be a late like baby settler would have never come to . If I had not pushed through and I did , I gave myself like , well , let me give it a month and see how I feel .
Speaker 2Let me give it a couple months and see . And I felt great , like I felt better after six months . But I think that's really important because that did not happen , that after Ruth was born and I was looking out the window and feeling like a prisoner . At that point I was like , ok , this feeling is not going away . And I did sit with that for a few months
Starting a Business While Working Full-Time
Speaker 2. And that's where I , you know , I was working at the hospital and I started . I started Baby Settler as I was still working . I was still employed by the hospital , but then I also had Baby Settler . So I did both . For I'm trying to think how long it was , it was probably a little over a year , because Baby Cellar was founded in May of 2020 . Yeah , and I did not leave the hospital until June of 2021 .
Speaker 1So I was in the hospital for a whole year doing both . You were really hustling .
Speaker 2Yes , yes , burning the candle at both ends and I think when you're an entrepreneur , like that season is not sustainable . You can't do that forever , but sometimes , when you're starting out , and especially for me I had three kids and thankfully my husband has a good job and he could support us but there was that time of saving up money and really figuring out what am I going to do before I leave the hospital . And I will tell you this is what I was referring to a few minutes ago the hospital . Actually , it got a little bit . I haven't actually ever shared this story publicly but the hospital that I worked for .
Speaker 2I started this business and I was working as an inpatient lactation consultant , but I was also doing lactation consults outside of the hospital .
Speaker 2So our hospital I spearheaded our outpatient lactation consults outside of the hospital . So our hospital I spearheaded our outpatient lactation program . So we didn't do outpatient lactation , we just saw patients in the hospital when they were having their baby and then our nurse manager was like well , we'd like to be able to offer this to the community , and so I was the driving force to get that up and running , and I was also one of the only LCs in the unit that would actually try to get people to come back and encourage outpatient follow-up . So I was really doing that not only for the hospital but also for the moms in our community . Well , I realized that moms , to do that you have to come back to the hospital , you have to go through outpatient , you have to check in , you have to come up to the third floor , you have to go to one of our hospital rooms , like if I was looking at it from the mom's perspective it's a lot , and not to mention who wants to bring their newborn baby back to a hospital .
Speaker 1Yeah , like I couldn't get away from the hospital fast enough , right yeah exactly Like nobody wants to come to and I would like know .
Speaker 2My mom was here to do a consult with me and she would call me and I could hear the baby like crying because it's hungry . But the inpatient downstairs , the check-in was not moving fast enough so they would sit down there for 20 or 30 minutes trying to get checked in , to be brought up , and it was like it was a terrible patient experience and I gave a ton of feedback to our hospital about that , like how can we , how can we fix this ? And they couldn't , they never did and even to this day that's still how they operate . But I started doing consults on my own outside of the hospital and they basically one day I'll never forget I was in the NICU doing rounds with the team and that my director came and pulled me out and she said hey , hillary , when you get a chance I need you to stop by my office . And I was like , okay , no problem , like I'm gonna go grab some lunch . Do you want me to just come in ? Because we were .
Speaker 2It was like really casual , I knew them really well . She started as a floor nurse at the hospital , so , like we , I'd actually been there longer than her , and I saw her go from a bedside floor nurse to the director's position . Oh wow . So we were pretty , you know , like same level . And then she just yeah .
Speaker 2And so I go to her office and I'm thinking we're just going to have like a talk about yeah , like I'm thinking we're going to have a talk about like you know , I don't know like process improvement or like you know , I don't even know what we're going to have a talk about . And I sit down with my lunch and she's like I can't remember exactly what she said . But she said , basically you're going to have to dissolve baby settler . You can't work here and have baby settler . And I was like are you serious , like what ?
Speaker 2I don't even . And she was like , yeah , I don't know . So after some time I realized what happened was and this is in every , I think every what am I trying to say ? Not just hospitals or nursing , but just in every facet of life . You always have people that don't want to see you do well , and what happened when I got to the meat of it was so I had a friend who was going to give birth at a different hospital and I was like , hey , you should give birth at our hospital because we have a special care nursery in case your baby is born early .
Speaker 2You won't have to be shipped out to another hospital , because I knew she had some risk factors .
Speaker 1I was going to say was she high risk ?
Speaker 2Yeah , yeah , she was higher risk . So she did end up delivering early and her baby was in the special care nursery for like two weeks and she was , they were doing rounds or there were some nursery nurses NICU nurses that overheard her . Somebody said to her hey , you should come back for outpatient lactation with our lactation consultants . And my friend said actually I'm just going to follow up with Hillary afterwards .
Speaker 1We've already got it planned , so it wasn't malicious .
Speaker 2It wasn't malicious . It wasn't malicious at all . No , it was just her .
Speaker 1It was actually her , just being honest .
Speaker 2It was her being honest . We already had this connection , like we already had this relationship .
Speaker 1Like she's your friend .
Speaker 2Right , and the only reason she's even at this hospital is because I told her to change to come to this hospital .
Speaker 1Yeah , oh gosh . So it was a short sighted of your , it was so .
Speaker 2Yes , and so somebody had reported to the anonymous tip line at the hospital that something on it which it turned into this whole thing . So , basically , I had you know there was no transparency . So , instead of the director coming to me telling me about this situation and let's talk through it so I could explain and they could understand the relationship and the connection there , they just assumed that I was like stealing patients or trying to get patients to work with baby settler instead of the hospital Working at . Come back to this hospital .
Speaker 2Which you guys weren't even like offering the same level of care services or , like you were , just like filling a gap I was doing in-home consults , like I was doing in-home consults for these moms at the hospital could never and there were so many other companies in our area that already did that , so they were really singling out and those nurses actually worked at the hospital .
Speaker 1So it was just very targeted .
Speaker 2It felt very personal it felt very targeted and very personal , and so we escalated it .
Speaker 2I ended up going to HR and I had to get my attorney involved and my attorney was like but in South Carolina is a right to work state , so you don't even like . You know it's right to work , so they could technically let me go if they wanted to . So we recovered . But at that point I was like you know what I got to , this is my . I need an exit plan . Like I need an exit plan . This . We recovered . But at that point I was like you know what I got to , this is my , I need an exit plan . Like I need an exit plan . This is it .
Speaker 1You're like this is a jail .
Speaker 2Yeah , this further validates that I feel like I'm in prison . They're trying to tell me how I can run my personal life outside of working at the hospital .
Speaker 1No , that is not going to fly , probably within six months .
Speaker 2I don't remember exactly when that happened , but it was probably within six months of that happening that I officially left the hospital and started Baby Settler . Okay .
Speaker 1That's so much that story is so .
Speaker 2Yeah , I know , and it was risky . I mean I wasn't guaranteed to have the consults but Baby Settler started as online courses and then I had my book that I published . At the same time I was doing in-home consults , but when I left the hospital I actually opened a private practice . So that was like when the brick and mortar started in June of 2021 . And then we have grown from there and now I have five other nurses that were working at the hospital that are on our team at Baby Cellar locally .
Healthcare System and Critical Thinking
Speaker 1Yes , and I did not coach them .
Speaker 2I did not coach them . They came to me and because we just all have a heart for moms in this season .
Speaker 2And I think the hard thing is is in the hospital setting . You have to really preach their party line and like follow policies and you can't say certain things and you can't be brutally on it , not brutally honest . I don't mean it to sound like that . You can't be as transparent as we should be able to be , and that's a huge health care system problem . Yeah , and so it feels really freeing to be in private practice and to be able to actually like give parents and moms information so they truly can make informed consent and decide , like what's best for them .
Speaker 1I also love that like on the front of your website , like literally I feel like everything you just described is like you're the front of your website's a non-judgy nurse friend for new moms who's always available . That's like the exact opposite of what you would get in the hospital , which is like judgy lactation consultants , like judge , you know , like yeah , I had a really not great experience with like lactation in the hospital and nursing and all of that and I it felt like so much judgment , it felt so much like there's one way to do this , there's one way to do this and it's the universal way . And oh wait , it's not working for you . So like let's just supplement ASAP , like let's give him formulas soon . Like there was no problems , there was no problem solving , there was no exploration , there was no like creativity or curiosity . Like you know , it wasn't like custom at all . So I just Well , critical thinking , I think , is what you're trying to say is that ?
Speaker 2and I just had . Well , my youngest was sick this the last in the last week and we just he just got released from the hospital yesterday . Honestly , and the lack of critical thinking is just mind blowing . Our experience and you know we live in an area that there is a really great children's hospital , but it was mind blowing my parents are both . My dad is a retired ER doctor and now does family practice and my mom is a family nurse practitioner who works in women's health and we they went , we have tons of their friends are doctors . Okay , so I am surrounded by healthcare providers and because it is my family , I'm able to have really blunt transparent conversations with them and they still love me .
Speaker 2But I will say that I have dragged them along the journey that I've been on for the last couple of years and I know that they are way more open-minded than they were even six months ago .
Speaker 2And I'm so thankful for that and I'm hopeful that people in our generation are going to keep pushing and asking why and demanding critical thinking instead of following protocols . And you know that we are going to get really individualized health care , because I think that is what is truly missing and it can be really exhausting for moms . To my husband was like last night . He said , well , what would happen if something happened to you ? And I was like , well , great , now that's something for me to be anxious about because I'm thank you medical right .
Speaker 2I'm the medical person in our family who's like looking at this and thinking about this . And yeah , for example , clay , they didn't want to draw another set of labs on him because they felt like you know , I don't know why , I don't know why they didn't want to draw it , but before discharge I was like I want these labs drawn . You're already going to stick them to draw another lab that you want . I want you to pull another tube and just run the lab . And so they did it . And the lab came back and the lab value had tripled and set him in a different category of diagnosis than it would have if the lab was normal . And so it's like and the only reason they even knew that that lab like , the only reason we know that now is because I'm the one that pushed for that lab , whereas it would have been missed if I hadn't been the one that pushed for it .
Speaker 1And you just think about every person out there who's raising their babies who has no idea how to ask those questions . What are your thoughts on this ?
Speaker 2You know that company like Blueberry you know the at-home Blueberry Peds or whatever I've seen there .
Speaker 1Yeah , like I feel like think about it Like healthcare systems are failing us so much that there's a huge company that now you can see if your kid has an ear infection at home , because it's so frustrating to have to take your kid into the urgent care and then like the overprescription of like antibiotics , all of that . So it's just I feel like you're , we're seeing a lot of these . So I live outside DC and there's a lot about I don't know about where you are , but there's so much like concierge medicine now I love that , I think but it's all out of pocket and that's the problem .
Speaker 1So it's like you can have the pediatrician come to your house Like , yeah , you can have like this awesome women's health doctor who's going to give you like a 90 minute , but it's all out of pocket and that's not their fault . That's just the insurance billing systems that like and the fact that we just like don't prioritize women's health like at all , and so it's women need more like , we need more
Navigating New Motherhood With an App
Speaker 1like . We have more complexities especially , but like birthing women , like we have so much complexities with our hormones and with , like our pelvis and like there's there's so like mental health , postpartum health . There's so much that's missing in just like the traditional quick . Like here's your 50 . Like here's your six-'s . Missing in just like the traditional quick . Like here's your 50 , like here's your six week checkup . Okay , like you can go have sex again . Like that's so weird to me .
Speaker 2Like , yeah , no , I agree , I think that . So we have an app . Baby Seller has an app that we're launching at the end of this summer Cool , and it is going to have a wealth of information . It's going to be I mean , you're going to be able to search whatever question you want and it's going to pop up . So it's for birth , pregnancy through early momming , so like the first 18 months , and where I'm going to be on there live weekly , like having conversations .
Speaker 2That's where that who's always available line comes from on our website is because everyone really does . I feel like everyone deserves to have a nurse , friend or somebody that can help point them in the right direction . Because , just like you're saying , when you go to an appointment , you know , in a standard healthcare setting , it's just there's not enough time to really get into all of your concerns or worries . Or even like thinking critically and looking at the big picture , like for me , when I do a consult with a mom , and whether it's for feeding or sleep or mental health or whatever it is , I want to hear about everything .
Speaker 1Like I want to hear about .
Speaker 2I want to see a feeding I want to hear about , I want them to tell me their life story , basically , and I want to hear about what's going on . And there's no way I can do that in less than an hour . There's just no way I can do that in less than an hour .
Speaker 1Because you're going to hear things that maybe they don't even think are important , right Like they're , not even like contributing factors , and you're going to pick up on things that you're like , well , wait a minute , like , hold on , let's explore that . You're like , well , wait a minute , like , hold on , like , let's explore that .
Speaker 2Yeah , and I think these you know at least babysettler and like I don't know , I'm not familiar with that , I don't , I'm not subscribed to that app we were just talking about with the PEDS app and but I my , my hope is that with concierge services , like whether it's doctors , nurse practitioners or something like babysettler , the point is is that we're putting it's patient driven care , so your provider is listening to what you want and is not pushing their agenda on you , but it's more giving you evidence based information so that you can , and listening to your unique situation so that you can then decide for yourself what you want to do .
Speaker 1Oh my gosh , I just yeah , wow . I think you want to do . Oh my gosh , I just yeah , wow . It blows . My mind .
Speaker 2Yeah , I mean I think that the healthcare system now it's just we're all kind of you know we're following an algorithm or like it's just standard of care , or you know we do this because this says to do this , and it's not really truly individualized care . There are still some great . I mean I don't want people to think that you have to you know , buy concierge care to like get that kind of care . But I do think you have to push and be assertive and educate yourself . Like I don't think you're going to get that kind of care if you just show up and don't ask any questions and just kind of don't verbalize your problems or concerns and don't ask questions . Then you're just going to get the standard care . It's not going to be really individualized care .
Speaker 1Yeah , and I think that , like what you , what made me think of is just like that strong referral network . I just feel like I love this , like asking a nurse friend . It's like , yeah , well , who's your primary ? Like , where do you go , who do you like ?
Speaker 1Like , and yes like a good referral is so gold when you are absolutely searching for that really solid care team to wrap around yourself as a mom , as a woman from , at least for me and then to wrap around your family , and that's like I love my pediatrician . I cannot stand the administration Like , and when our son was born he dropped three pounds in three weeks not ounces pounds , and so we were like we had like a shrinking . We were in the hospital we were doing the sternum , the post you know , the test for the stomach thing you know all of it all of it , all of it .
Speaker 1It was so scary . We were so new , we were so sleep deprived , we were so worried . He was just like he was nursing all the time and he was shrinking and he was just not sleeping because he wasn't getting nourished . And so , of course , of course , the pediatricians like , just give him formula , just give him like . Of course , and I don't feel like I was like necessarily robbed in my journey . I just feel like like maybe back then I did feel that way , but I felt like the pediatrician was doing exactly what he knew to do Like he was a generalist , and so he knew to do Like he was a generalist .
Speaker 1And so he knew yes , the baby needs nutrition , the baby needs weight . So let's get that fastest route instead of that critical thinking . And I just start to think , like gosh , if we have another baby , like , what would I have done differently ? Well , it's like you don't know what you don't know , and so that's , that's the hard part . But if you could have this app like what you're talking about it's like Baby Settler If you could have this app , if you could have this access and it's trusted and it's easy to use and it's like right there and you don't have to go in the hospital oh , my gosh , you don't have to call a doctor and wait in line to leave a message or like to log into some like portal thing and like then you don't even get the doctor writing you back , you get their , like their nurse writing you back and it's like it can be it
Speaker 1feels so exhausting in that fourth trimester . It's like it's just too much so having this access to this app , I just think about like and for so many new moms like to be like okay , what do I do next ? Like what's the next step here ? And just that the ease of information . And I do think that you are operating in a platform where there's so much information . There's too much information for moms . It's like too much information and not enough resources , and it's like everyone's spin on their information is like we are right and everyone else is wrong , and so that can be really hard to navigate too . It's like I'm wrong because I'm giving my son formula . Like I'm wrong because I'm giving him formula that has like palm oil in it . Yeah , it's like there's so many ways that you can feel wrong and there's not enough places where you're like wow , I'm really just crushing this fourth trimester .
Speaker 2Yeah , well , you know what you know . What's so funny is that what you just said is exactly why we decided to make an app , because , as much good as there may be with Instagram , there is a lot of bad , and we hope to pull moms off . I mean , they probably will find out about us on Instagram , but my hope is that they can unfollow all the baby accounts and just follow their friends and family on Instagram or accounts that are really serving them . But hopefully they can just , instead of trying to go through their library of saved posts to try and figure out what information is where they could just . I mean , this app is going to be less than $10 a month . It's going to be highly searchable .
Speaker 2You just go in there and you search for the content , and I am currently building content for the app . I mean , everything is going to be linked and sourced , and it's just so needed . What are some ?
Speaker 1examples of the content Like what are some topics like that I can search .
Speaker 2So I'm trying to think what you might be better me from the one that's building it . I might be a little bit biased , but like what's , can you think of something that you would search as a new mom ?
Speaker 1Like sleep regressions Like I would . Leaps like everyone's talking about . Leaps like what the heck are leaps Like should I care about them ? Pacifiers like the stigma . Pacifiers my kid's now a thumb sucker Like I don't know if that's going to be in there . Like how pacifiers my kid's now a thumb sucker Like I don't know if that's going to be in there . Like , how much are those dental bills ? Oh yeah , I can't speak to dental bills , I know . I know we had like me , oh , we had non-acid reflux and so that ended up being the source of the weight was I wasn't transferring enough and he was spitting up like we're talking like 60 burp rags . We joke because we're like why didn't we ever go back ? Because I'm from california , why didn't we ever go to california when henry was like five or six ?
Speaker 1months he was spitting up all and I was like oh yeah , because he was like literally like this , like moving yeah , target yeah yeah , yeah , like pacifiers , like I . I think we had like really bad baby rash so like , wait , like , what type of like do I need to get that laundry soap that costs $25 , or is Tide Green Clear good enough ? Yeah , yeah , no , all of this all of it's , it's one thing . One thing . It's like lip ties , tongue ties , like all of that is there .
Speaker 2I think the other thing I'm really excited about is the option . We have a feature in there where you can request an inform content , so like , if you like have an idea about something and you can't find it , then you just ask for it and then I can make it for you .
Speaker 1So it's going to kind of always be speedy . Yeah , we need a sanitizer , do I ?
Speaker 2need all in there . Yep , it's all in there . It's all in there .
Speaker 1I mean we third time mom sanitize . Do only first time mom sanitize bottles Like I'm so confused .
Speaker 2Yeah , yeah , that's so funny , yeah . So I think , and I think the biggest thing is that what's in our app is why , why is this the recommendation ? And we tell you why it is , and so then you can decide okay , I'm going to follow that recommendation or I'm not following that recommendation . You know it's understanding the why and then your position to like make an informed decision About what works for you or about what you do or don't want to do . So I think that's super important .
Speaker 1Okay , I like love this and I want to switch gears really fast . I just want to like talk about this before we wrap up . But because your business started , did I get ? Am I getting this right ? You started in 2020 . Yes , 2020 . Okay , so it's now yeah , I wasn't gonna yeah you're like get me literally get me out of this prison .
Speaker 2Yes , yeah , okay , trauma and but I was feeling like that before . Yeah , I know , I know I got I picked up on that . You're like I picked up on that .
Speaker 1So I mean , like I picked up on that . So I mean , health co-workers are angels . Okay , so 2020 , it's now 2024 . Something happened in your business where you now have 74,000 followers on your Instagram account . You grew a team . I heard a team of five , I heard brick and mortar . I know you published one book . I also will say you published another book , an updated version . So now you've done two books .
Speaker 1I mean , like the average person would be like Hillary , like do you actually sleep ? Like do you actually stop ? But I do relate to this , like if we're going to do it , we should just do it . Like , if we're going to go , we should just go big . And so I do understand that sort of that really big purpose type , a sort of component . However , it's wild to think about that growth that fast . And so I also am curious about you have like brand partnerships and you've had a lot of great PR and things have worked for you in your business . Like things you have done the right footwork , you've made the right strategic decisions at certain parts of growing your business . Like things you have done the right footwork , you've made the right strategic decisions at certain parts of growing your business . Can any do any of those decisions that you've made , like stand out more than others . Like did you outsource quicker ? Did you invest in systems quicker Did you ?
Speaker 1did you work with a publicist , like did you just get like , did you just like fall into like viral fame accidentally ? And then that just like you know , like I'm so curious .
Speaker 2Great questions , okay . So I will say that first thing I will say is that as many right decisions as I made , I made way more wrong decisions 100% .
Speaker 2Yeah , I definitely there are a ton of things that I would have done differently , but what I did do early on that was super important to me and that I highly recommend investing money in and time , is brand creating a brand . So I was super focused on brand establishing a brand and that is , you know , not just about colors and fonts and pictures , but it was about overall messaging and what Baby Settler is really about . And have you heard of Story Branding ? Oh , yeah , story .
Speaker 1Branding Arnold Miller . Yeah , I love him .
Speaker 2Yeah , highly recommend if you are starting a new business or even if you
Growing a Business and Changing Lives
Speaker 2have an older business .
Speaker 1Such an easy formula to follow . I mean it's so like , like it washes over , it's not complicated , like it's a good process to go through . He's a great book .
Speaker 2I right , yes , and Baby Settler is the guide , we are not the hero . So , like positioning your customer or your audience as the hero and then you're just coming alongside them to guide them , is super important , and the good thing was is that was super aligned with what my mission was anyway , for Baby Seller , so it felt a little bit easier . I definitely did invest in systems and team early on . So instead of me making money personally , I put the money back into the business so that we could grow faster .
Speaker 1So we grew faster because which is not accessible to every single person , but if you can do it . If you can do it , if you can run like a lean year or lean 18 months , then it's a smart move .
Speaker 2It is . It is and I would say , like you know , thinking back , I probably would have sat a little bit longer with decisions , you know , just not quite moving as fast , but ultimately I feel good about where we are today . I really haven't I wouldn't say that I've like gone . I have some viral posts on Instagram , but when I compare myself to other people that started around the same time , I feel like Baby Seller has grown a lot slower .
Speaker 2And I think that's because I haven't like hit that viral , like I haven't really been on Good Morning America . I mean I definitely have been strategic with I got a girl for you , I can get you on there .
Speaker 1Yeah , get me on . Good Morning , that's like my goal . Hello , katie Reese .
Speaker 2That is my goal for this year is to go on . Good Morning America . Oh , I would absolutely love that .
Speaker 1You have to know my publicist , katie Reese .
Speaker 2Okay , please let me week .
Speaker 1She's up in New York every week . That's what she does , oh my gosh .
Speaker 2Okay , well , I would love a today show and all of it yeah , I would love it because and I've written um , I have written on the blog . Yeah , yes , on the blogs .
Speaker 1but I just and the only reason that I say that is because I do feel like baby settler is positioned to really help a lot of modern moms Like yes there's a thought leadership piece that you were bringing to the table that is directly connected to , like , some pretty important news cycles , and I think that that's the place where , getting on from the publicity piece from like Good Morning America or something like that , that's where you could definitely be inserted and definitely be seen as like . We are not here to promote ourself , we're here to like change , change a system , and that's different .
Speaker 2Yes , I want moms . I mean , if I really think about it , I my the heart behind what I do is I . I care about what stories moms are writing in their minds . Like I'm I'm about to cry , like just think about that . I just just like friends of mine and just like me and taking it back to Clay my fourth baby , I'm like sitting there he's six weeks old and I'm like I've helped thousands of moms breastfeed their babies and figure out how to establish milk supply and like am I a failure ? Like I can't even get my own baby to breastfeed and I'm having all these complications and just , and it was . You know there's so many .
Speaker 2You know , being a year , almost two years out of that , I can tell you why that happens and I know that from a clinical standpoint and knowing knowledge .
Speaker 2But when I was the mom , that was postpartum and in that
Empowering Moms Through Healthcare Advocacy
Speaker 2season .
Speaker 2You can't see past that and you really do need people in your life that are able to speak truth to you and really be on your side and enthusiastically continue enthusiastically supporting you , no matter what decisions you make . But part of that too , I think , for moms , especially moms that are more type A or that really are used to being in control and are go-getters is it feels like a really vulnerable space to be when you feel like you're relying on you know your pediatrician or other people to tell you what to do , or even when you feel like you can't really make decisions because you feel limited by the healthcare system or you don't feel confident and you don't really feel confident to be assertive and advocate for your child . And so I want moms to feel like I feel when I have interactions with healthcare providers and the healthcare system and just be respectful , obviously because but empowered , but empowered and confident , and ask them questions , yeah , yeah , and I always tell my patients that I work with in private practice .
Speaker 2I'm like , you know , because they'll come to me and say , well , this person told me this , and this person told me this , and this person told me this , and I just they're all saying different things and I'm like this piece of advice , ask why . Like if somebody gives you a piece of advice and you ask them why and they either can't clearly explain why or they brush it off because I've been doing it this way for X amount of time , or because that's what the CDC says , or that's what this protocol says , that is a red flag . If they can't explain to you why you're doing something in a logical way that you can actually understand , then I'm worried that that recommendation is maybe it is a good recommendation , but that's when I'm going to get a second or third opinion or really looking for somebody who may make the same recommendation , but they can actually explain why we are doing this .
Speaker 2So , for example , your baby and I'm going to make some assumptions because I don't know your specific situation but jaundiced babies don't feed well . They're sleepy . If they're elevated bilirubin , they don't sleep well . If they are more than 10% loss of their birth weight , they go into hibernate mode . They don't feed well , and so in that situation we have to make sure that we establish your milk supply and that can include some pumping , and we need to get volume in your baby so that they will wake up and want to eat , and there's other things with that . As far as reflux , If we've got a ton of reflux , well , why are we having reflux ? Sometimes it is just an immature , you know flap that it's coming back up , but other times it could be they're swallowing air or you know , and if you have a baby , that there's just so many different reasons that things can happen and I think understanding why really positions you to decide what you want to do .
Speaker 1That's such a different , an important approach , like it seems .
Speaker 2It seems so oversimplified because it seems like it's like , it's like such a no-brainer , instead like it's our first night in the hospital .
Speaker 1My son it's no excuse me , it's our second night in the hospital . We haven't really established a good like feeding rhythm . And it's three o'clock in the morning . Okay , we're asleep for the first time . Basically , the night nurse comes in .
Speaker 1I basically kind of stay asleep and she talks to my husband and she's like so , do you guys want to get some donor milk ? And I was like we were like what ? Like he woke me up and I was like what do you what ? There's like there's no conversation , there's no education , there's no like what are we ? Why are we doing this ? My husband , it's so funny , there's so many things that he remembers from our experience . But he will never forget that one moment of like this nurse saying that we need donor milk at three o'clock in the morning , when no one's even like sat us down to like give us a consult or like tell us why . So I just think back , like earlier , when you were getting a little bit of emotional and made me feel like when I think about baby settler , I feel like your goal like your like ethos is like that moms like me would not have these stories to tell anymore like you know , and some of them we can't avoid , like we can't avoid all the stories .
Speaker 1there's millions of babies being born , right like we can , we can't like catch all of them , but the fact that there is like an overwhelming amount of sort of shock and awe or horror stories or traumatic or trauma , like trauma related to this really magnificent like moment in our lives , like that there's so much trauma around it . Anyways , I'm just the whole point being is that I , it sounds like to me like coming back to your brand , coming back to your mission , coming back to like the stories . You're not the hero , like the moms are the hero . The moms are the hero . And like your whole goal is that when people maybe retell their birth stories or retell their postpartum experiences or , you know , share things that went like how was that for you ?
Speaker 1You know they could be like I felt so supported , I felt it was so different . I , you know , I felt like I was so empowered and that really sets a tone for how I mean it definitely set a
Navigating Pediatric Appointments and Breastfeeding Struggles
Speaker 1tone for me . Like how I went into every single pediatrician I felt like I had to like gear up , like every time I went into a , because of that experience in the hospital was so terrible for me that I felt like , okay , here we go . I have to go into the medical system again , like here we go .
Speaker 1And you know when you have a high medical needs baby . As you know , you have so many pediatrician appointments , like we were doing weekly weight check-ins .
Speaker 2We were at the hospital .
Speaker 1He was in 0% weight until he was six months old . We sleep trained and he crawled and he said his first word and he got into the 16th percentile all in a six month . Like it was so crazy the milestones that happened like when he was six months old . It was amazing . It was just like I felt like we all took like a deep breath , you know .
Speaker 1But for six months I was like thinking and feeling like , oh , I have to go into these appointments like ready for battle or something like ready to really advocate , and it's like who needs that ? Like that's just such added , added stress .
Speaker 2So when I think about your , brand .
Speaker 1When I think about your brand , when I think about your brand , I think about like this , this , like mission that you're pushing forward . No wonder you guys have grown like , because it really isn't about Hillary . It's really not about Hillary .
Speaker 2No , it's not and that's , and that's hard . I think you know , related to Claire's podcast , when we talked about kind of the lactation community and their view of what Baby Settler is and who I am , they kind of just saw me as a lactation consultant . And yes , I am an IBCLC . But that is not . My mission in life is to show up as a lactation consultant . First and foremost I'm a nurse and I'm a fellow mom and I do have that certification and I can think critically as a lactation consultant and an IBCLC and be able to care for moms and give valuable evidence-based information in that realm .
Speaker 2But that is not all that Baby Settler is and that's . We've never just been like , that's not what we've ever just been about . And there's so many lactation consultants online and that are just really I feel like they are pushing moms farther away from seeking support from lactation consultants or even isolating moms , like if they don't , if moms are not really following their narrative of we're doing everything we can to get baby back to the breast or maximize milk output , that if you're not really doing that or you're not striving towards that , then you don't really fit into their narrative and what they post on their platform and they go against . They go after people , other healthcare professionals who are really educating on things beyond just breast is best or breast milk is best . Everyone knows that breast milk is the best match to newborn babies .
Speaker 2That is undisputed evidence , like everyone knows that we don't need to like , but what we need to know is we have real life .
Speaker 1And fed is best is not descriptive enough . It's not big enough , it's great , it's great , like I feel like yes it is great .
Speaker 2I don't know if supported as best or educate , I think , informed as best Like . It's just to kind of nail it down into like a tagline . I don't know what the right tagline is , but I think that in our society today , whether you are a stay at home mom , or your stay at home and working mom , or whether you work outside of the home , whatever you do , we don't . We no longer really live in a world where most women can breastfeed on demand 12 plus times in 24 hours , around the clock for that whole first year of life . Because even if you are a full-time stay-at-home mom , if you have more than one child , you don't really probably have the support that women had even 50 or 60 years ago from family . And it's just .
Speaker 1Oh , you mean the village which is our tagline ? Yeah , the village which is our tagline , which is our tagline To build your own damn village , like yes , I love that .
Speaker 2Yeah , because you just don't , and I think , like Clay , for example , that's what I mean Like too much information and way under-resourced .
Speaker 1Tell me about Clay . Tell me about Clay .
Speaker 2So Clay I mean he was , you know he had so many issues Like he had a terrible tongue tie , anterior tongue tie . To this day and I've worked with thousands of babies in real life in my private practice he is the worst feeding baby I have ever worked with . Like he had a terrible tongue tie Like one of the odds . Yeah , he had a shoulder dystocia , so like he had tension at birth , he could barely even take a bottle in the first four to six weeks of life .
Speaker 2So it wasn't even just . He was terrible at breastfeeding , he was terrible at bottle feeding . If I hadn't been a feeding specialist , I have no doubt that he may have been admitted for like an NG tube for feeding , because he was just not a good feeder .
Speaker 2I was the only one my husband could feed him because this was his fourth baby and he follows direction . So I was , like you have to do , chin , support and turn him on his side and , like my husband was able to feed him but and I did not respond well to the breast pump and also I was high stress he was having laryngospasms , which is you know . Basically it means that he was having events where he would stop breathing and would have blue lips , like he had multiple of those in the first week of life when we got home from the hospital , blue lips he had multiple of those in the first week of life when we got home from the hospital , and so my stress level was just like I was so stressed , I was so stressed , and so that does not help let down .
Speaker 2It does not help your let down . You do not really have a let down when you are high stress and so I was essentially just pulling milk out . My body was not helping push it out , so that affected my milk supply . And again , there's so many , there's so many things there . But when I say I exhausted all resources to try and figure out what was going on , I did .
Speaker 2I went in and had my OB scrape my uterus out when I was two weeks postpartum Whoa , yeah , like I did , I had my prolactin levels checked , like I did everything . Okay , we got to , I think , probably eight weeks postpartum , eight to 10 weeks postpartum , and he was able to transfer like two to three ounces at a time and still my body , like when I pumped , I would pump like two to three ounces at a time . So technically I could have breastfed him 12 times in 24 hours and he would have hit his minimum volume of 24 ounces and he would have gained weight and he wouldn't have been a failure to thrive baby . But there is a difference between what a baby needs to grow and what they actually want to eat .
Speaker 2Yeah , and what a mom can handle and what a mom can handle Right , so that if I had done that , that would have looked like me not being there for any of my other kids .
The Impact of Sleep and Feeding
Speaker 2It would have completely . I can just tell you that I would not have been in a good headspace . I would not have been able to continue to pour into babysitting , which is a passion of mine and a job that I absolutely love . There were just some . And my baby wouldn't have slept . He wouldn't have slept , he would have never slept if he was always hungry . And my baby wouldn't have slept . He wouldn't have slept . He would have never slept if he was always hungry . And I know that there is a ton of evidence-based research out there , quality research that says sleep is so important for moms and babies for their brain development , and when babies are not sleeping , I mean it can affect their brain growth and development .
Speaker 1I just , I remember when our sleep coach was like you're going to find that when Henry starts what's it called so much happier when he was connecting his sleep cycles , like I forget what that's called , but like compacted sleep or something you know , I don't know what it's called , but when they're actually sleeping they don't do that . Mid nap wake up and it's I don't know .
Speaker 2Yeah , they like condense their sleep cycles and yes , yeah , they're able to transition through them .
Speaker 1She was like when you wake him up from his naps you're going to see that he physically feels bigger to you , that he looks taller , that his clothes fit . Like it's crazy to think that they're happy they wake up happy , and I know I .
Speaker 2I worked with a family a couple years ago and their 18-month-old and their three-year-old were sleeping in their king-size bed with them , the parents , and they were going to bed at like 10 , 30 , or 11 .
Speaker 2Nobody was sleeping good and the older child was not speaking well and there were just all these things . Anyway , fast forward , they did sleep training , and he was sleeping well . A week down the road , they were sleeping well Well . Over the next couple of months there were so many delays that he had been labeled with , they all disappeared , Like he was getting sleep and he was hitting milestones that he shouldn't hit . And it's sleep I mean a lot .
Speaker 2It's not always sleep , but a lot of times it is sleep . I think people underestimate the impact that sleep has on our babies . Definitely , I think moms is pretty . You know well-known that it can affect mental health and physical health but , even our babies like dysregulation . Yes , yes yes exactly that's a topic for another day .
Speaker 1We can , we can talk about that later .
Speaker 2Yeah , Another no , but I , I , I feel like what you're , I totally understand , like where you're going with that , which I feel like what you're .
Speaker 1I totally understand where you're going with that , which is just like if we say that breast is best or if we say fed is best yes , of course fed is best I will say I am 100% . Have you ever heard that saying ? Everyone's a perfect parent before they have kids have ?
Speaker 2you ever heard this ? I love this . Yeah , my sister is . Yeah , she hasn't had a child yet , but I said something to her the other day and she was like I know , I know , when you're not , when you don't have kids , like you see , everything , just wait till I'm a parent .
Speaker 1I laughed because I was like all wood toys , right , all wood toys . No screen time , right , nothing processed . You know , I'm going to make , I , I'm gonna make all my baby food . I'm gonna nurse until he's . And then the big one for me was like , I'm gonna nurse until he's , like two , you know , like , because I had no idea about anything like at all . And if you're doing all of those things like , great wonderful , if you're not great wonderful . And I will say like I am such a , I am so thankful that we could get formula and that so we were in the middle of the formula shortage and that's well , wait , you might've been too Cause my son's too . Yeah , we were , we were in that .
Speaker 1And I don't know what that was like and I don't know what that was like for you , but we were having formula like shipped in from our friends in Michigan and from friends in California , like we were basically having formula like shipped in . My son would never take the like . I mean , we tried , we tried everything . Hillary , I am a super crunchy scrunchie and I was like I want him to be on like the Bobby or the Kendamil or the like you know all the ones from over the UK .
Speaker 1It didn't matter , it didn't matter . He spit them all up , like up , like I tried . I was like I want him on the like the healthy , like you know . Again , the internet is telling me that these brands are like what I and I'm sure that there's tons of data right about it . Yeah , you know the only brand that he would eat was like what was ? Infamil gentle ease purple can I mean we're , we're finally at the point where we're buying just like the target , like yeah , you know , because also the shelves were empty .
Speaker 2I mean the shelves were like empty .
Speaker 1and so , like here we are . This is not some . We couldn't get it shipped in from the UK like it was like one of the main brands . It wasn't like the the brand that had the issue is the other brand that had the issue , but we I have tons and tons of Instagram stories of just like completely just like signs of like you could only buy one can at a time .
Speaker 1Like here we are , we're living in like the united states and like we literally the the whole structure of formula was so fragile , like that whole supply chain is so fragile , and so that's like I'm like I was talking to someone they were like who'd be like your dream guest on your podcast , and I'm like the CEO of Infamil .
Speaker 1Yeah , what the heck , what was going on back then ? Why is that such a fragile system that just like crumbled from like one plant or two plants or whatever being shut down , plants or whatever being shut down . So , anyways , I feel like there's so many people who have been like , oh my gosh , you gave your baby formula Like that sucks , and I'm over here like dude , he started gaining weight finally , like he was sleeping through , like thank you formula , like I'm so grateful . So , anyways , just to like close all of that out , it's like we can all hope to be whatever we're going to be , like we can all think something's going to be . You know , I'm just . I'm thinking about your experience with Clay . It's like everything in your business , everything in your life like led you to being able to feed your baby because of all of your experience , and like not every mom most moms would have like crumbled under that .
Speaker 1And I'm sure , there was parts of you that did too , and so it's like whatever babysettler can do to support those moms and get them through those moments like that's just . It's an incredible mission that you're putting putting forward because it's also my passion and hobby .
Speaker 2So sometimes it's hard to like disconnect and I actually do need to step away and I do need to have boundaries so that I don't end up burned out and just kind of because that's nobody wants . I mean , I've definitely been in that spot , but it's not a fun spot to be .
Speaker 1So , yeah , and I think burnout is super normal and I think when you're really passionate , it's normal and just like pausing through it and like moving through it and seeing , like , what's waiting for you on the other side of it , like whether you need a pivot or you need to change a system , or maybe , like you're being called to , like you know , change things up a little bit like I think burnout is a is a . I think burnout is inevitable in certain seasons and I think that it can be used as a tool to help you get to like the next level of growth as well , if you could like view it like that . But anyways .
Speaker 1I have just appreciated this conversation on like so many different levels and there's so many other things like I'm like oh wait , but we haven't even talked about brand partnerships and like .
Speaker 2I want to know . Let's do it . I'm happy to come back . We can record another episode .
Speaker 1I'd love to I would love to just talk about , just like the growth component of your company and all of that . If you could just give like one piece of encouragement to moms out there , working moms , moms who are running businesses , moms who are side hustling , you know , building their businesses in the margins . What could you offer to them as like words of wisdom , encouragement ?
Speaker 2Oh , it's just one . I think that I have a really hard time being brief . That's okay , that's one thing that I'm always working on . But I would say to really just think about what you're thinking about as far as where your mind tries to take you . What you're thinking about as far as where your mind tries to take you , because sometimes I think your mind can take you , whether you're you know , whether we're talking about being a business owner or even just being a new mom . You want to think about the future and what your goals are and kind of where you want to go , but you also need to stay in the present and make sure that you're protecting your mental peace . Because this is going to sound really cheesy , but my brother-in-law was telling my nephew this the other day that life is it's about the journey , not the destination , and that's so true . Like the journey of going from where you are to where you want to go , like just that journey is so special and it's going to be unique for everyone .
Speaker 1I also love that you're coming from like an ambitious standpoint too , because when you're ambitious cause I am as well when you're ambitious , it's really hard to be like oh wow , look at this cool thing we just built and you're like cause you're already onto the next thing . Yes , that's exactly what that's what it made me just remember of like the journey of like look at everything that you're doing today , though , yeah .
Speaker 2And I have to remind myself that my husband reminds me of that very frequently because I am quick to , I'm quick to pivot , I'm quick to like get excited about something else . But I think that we can miss out on a lot of like what's right in front of us or really what we're working on building . If we are constantly going on to the next thing or looking to the next thing , you might miss out on making something that you're currently working on really great , and that can apply to motherhood too . Like if you're constantly looking forward to that next stage or you know , when you're in a difficult season , you know sometimes that's helpful to like look to the next season , but I still think just staying present in the moment is so helpful for just mental health and just day-to-day life and also actually reaching your goals . It can be helpful .
Speaker 1I love that . I love that and I think it's just a great reminder , especially with how fast everything moves online and how fast everyone is telling you to build companies and to you know , to more and more and more , grow , grow , grow . And I think that that can be harmful advice for , especially for moms , because we have different limitations and different capacity and different sleep schedules and different levels of support and child care , and grandparents might live next door , they might live across the country , like you don't know what , you don't know how any other mom in business is getting their support , and so I don't . I feel like it's really important to you know , like follow your own compass , but also be really grateful for the fact that we all have the opportunity to grow something that's ours and that we're not like a prison prisoner in a hospital yes , yes so great .
Speaker 1Well , hillary , I have appreciated this conversation so much . Thank you so much for your time . I am going to connect everything through the show notes , including the story brand book , because I think and I think he has a podcast too . But , um , that was such a great reminder of that like brand piece . But where can everyone , where can they find you ? What's all that ?
Speaker 2yeah , so we're at baby settler on instagram and then you can go to babysettlercom great um well , thank you .
Speaker 1If you found this conversation to be helpful , or if you felt really seen , or if you're excited to connect with Hillary , especially you , katie Reese , I encourage you to send her a DM , send Baby Seller a DM and let them know that you know Made for Mothers was where you found them .
Business Support for Busy Moms
Speaker 1And thank you again for tuning into another episode and we will talk to you soon . Yay , you just finished another episode of the made for mothers podcast . As always , you can find more details about today's show in the show notes and be sure to give us a review . Subscribe so you don't miss a chance to grow your biz from fellow moms . Are you wanting more one-on-one support , or are you looking to learn how to market your business in a way so you can spend more time with your family and less time stressing about what to do next ? Then follow along on Instagram at Mariah Stockman , or book a one-on-one biz therapy session with yours truly , and let's find that work-mama-hood harmony we all deserve . Until next time . This is your host , mariah Stockman , and thank you so much for tuning in .